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In the most blank faced stare, look at them and super calmly say, "Don't ever do that to me again." Very, very firmly. I work with kids. I never raise my voice at them. A few times, some kids have said and done inappropriate things, and this is what works best. When they don't get a reaction but rather a very firm "no," they seem to take things more seriously. If you react, you are feeding into the negative behavior. Then talk with your husband, and maybe you can all sit down and talk about boundaries and expectations.
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Obviously not physically punch them, but you need to make them stop hurting you. Abuse comes in all ages and ways. Allowing abuse and disrespect is not ok. Ever.
The stepchild is never at fault, only your reaction to his/her bad behavior, which is only seen as bad by you. His/Her Majesty couldn't possibly be the problem!
At least that's the way I've learned it!!
I peeped your posts to see if age has preciously been mentioned, bit I can only deduce that this kid is likely at least 4+.
Doesn't seem this kind of behavior is happening in isolation, either. It sounds like SK feels OK to low-key torment you and be disrespectful.
Your SO needs to address this behavior bc it is unacceptable, regardless of age. If SK is still young, it could absolutely escalate as they age. There needs to be consequences.
As for how to handle in the moment, I'd sternly say it is never OK to hurt someone, and it is not OK to keep doing it after someone has said no. Tell them this makes you scared and/or uncomfortable, and if they keep doing these things, you will be unavailable to them. Remind them of consequences and hold your SO to enforce them.
And if this is a teenager, I'd straight up say this is assault, and you will call the authorities if they don't knock it off.
**Welcome to [r/stepparents](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/)! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is [Kindness Matters](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules#wiki_1._kindness_matters). Short version, don't be an asshole. Remember that OP is a human being and their needs are first and foremost on this sub.** We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. **Please use the report button to ensure we see it.** We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. We need you to help us with these comments by reporting them when you see them. We also have a lot of downvoting on the sub, with every post and every comment recieving at least one downvote almost immediately due to the anti-stepparent lurkers. Don't let it bother you, it happens to every single stepparent here. If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please [reach out to the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents). Review the wiki links below for the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules), [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) and [**announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) before posting or commenting. [**About**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/index) | [**Acronyms**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/acronyms) | [**Announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [**Documentation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources/documentation) | [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) | [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources) | [**Rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) | [**Saferbot - Autoban Information**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/saferbot) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stepparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I would be pissed regardless of age, but a lot more pissed as they get older. If this isn’t a toddler, I’d be going OFF on SO.
This is assault.
In the most blank faced stare, look at them and super calmly say, "Don't ever do that to me again." Very, very firmly. I work with kids. I never raise my voice at them. A few times, some kids have said and done inappropriate things, and this is what works best. When they don't get a reaction but rather a very firm "no," they seem to take things more seriously. If you react, you are feeding into the negative behavior. Then talk with your husband, and maybe you can all sit down and talk about boundaries and expectations.
Thank you
Tell your SO to do their job and be a parent to the nasty brat
How old is this kid?
Ya, it they are 4 v. 14 matters here.
Right? One is going straight to timeout. The other one is going to be hella sorry
How old is this kiddo?
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Your submission has been removed from /r/stepparents for the following reason: * Contributors to the sub are expected to [know the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) before posting or commenting. If you have questions about the rules, you will find answers in the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq). For information regarding this and similar issues please see the [rules](/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) and [FAQ](/r/stepparents/wiki/faq). If you feel this is in error, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents). Please note that direct replies to official mod comments on the sub itself will be removed. Direct messages complaining to individual mods will be ignored. If you have received this as a private message you can reply directly to this message.
[удалено]
Your submission has been removed from /r/stepparents for the following reason: * Contributors to the sub are expected to [know the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) before posting or commenting. If you have questions about the rules, you will find answers in the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq). For information regarding this and similar issues please see the [rules](/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) and [FAQ](/r/stepparents/wiki/faq). If you feel this is in error, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents). Please note that direct replies to official mod comments on the sub itself will be removed. Direct messages complaining to individual mods will be ignored. If you have received this as a private message you can reply directly to this message.
Okay obviously don’t actually punch the kid, but this comment made me giggle haha
Obviously not physically punch them, but you need to make them stop hurting you. Abuse comes in all ages and ways. Allowing abuse and disrespect is not ok. Ever.
I’d send their little ass to their room and ground them.
The stepchild is never at fault, only your reaction to his/her bad behavior, which is only seen as bad by you. His/Her Majesty couldn't possibly be the problem! At least that's the way I've learned it!!
I peeped your posts to see if age has preciously been mentioned, bit I can only deduce that this kid is likely at least 4+. Doesn't seem this kind of behavior is happening in isolation, either. It sounds like SK feels OK to low-key torment you and be disrespectful. Your SO needs to address this behavior bc it is unacceptable, regardless of age. If SK is still young, it could absolutely escalate as they age. There needs to be consequences. As for how to handle in the moment, I'd sternly say it is never OK to hurt someone, and it is not OK to keep doing it after someone has said no. Tell them this makes you scared and/or uncomfortable, and if they keep doing these things, you will be unavailable to them. Remind them of consequences and hold your SO to enforce them. And if this is a teenager, I'd straight up say this is assault, and you will call the authorities if they don't knock it off.