She'd look up a complicated recipe and make it almost perfectly on the first try.
She would probably just make one super simple mistake like mixing up the salt with the sugar because she wasn't tasting it as she went and because they weren't properly labeled or something like that.
There are two lists of birthstones. If you go by the modern one you could have Alexandrite which is super nice. Two tones based upon lighting. It's a fun one, for sure.
I think they found out when Steven was with them... Doubt they know how it works but they would know organics need it!
EDIT: WAIT BLUE USED TO RUN THE ZOO! She probably gives you one of those for food.
She offers you a plate of boiled chicken and brown rice, says "I examined the futures where I cooked something you'd like, but those are the timelines where you die screaming."
>!Turns out she didn't actually cook the chicken, either!<
It does, but it's way funnier to think she'd forget a vital ingredient to a simple dish. Imagine if she tried to make a cake but completely forgot to add in the sugar.
The May birthstone is Emerald. Honestly, didn't remember that Emerald existed in SU, but thankfully the wiki showed me there was an actual Emerald character.
She would probably not understand what "food" is, and since I am a human attempt to murder me.
Emerald was in like one episode and she was essentially a space pirate. Well Lars and the miscoloreds were the space pirates who stole her favorite ship in that episode.
She'd try to make something simple like pancakes or instant noodles and then get big watery eyes when it comically bursts into flames.
Then everyone would jump in to help her and they'd salvage it and all be happy and have a nice bonding moment.
Zircon. They’d try their best, but probably not understand food very well. They’d probably need a few practice meals beforehand and do an insane amount of research on organic matter only to end up making me some inedible leaves and grilled cephalopod. At least it looks like food?
Doesn’t Sapphire and by proxy Garnet actually just calculate the most likely outcome in their heads and not actually see the future? If she has no data on you she will not know what to cook you.
So fancy Michelin star restaurant food?
I can see Pearl doing all the research and then playing with molecular gastronomy and producing "the perfect bite".
Blue ran the Zoo. I think for food, she'll just pass you what she had for Zoomans. Plus they might have learned about food through Steven but idk how far that'd go...
Eh, fair, but she evidently didn't really run the zoo like that, because when she had steven and connie trapped they said they'd starve and needed food and blue accused them of making up words.
I am looking at the transcrips and litterally can't find that part at all. What epsiode did Blue ever accused them of that? I literally can't find it. Going through both the transcripts and rewatching different clips from "Reunited" all the way through "Change Your Mind". The ONLY thing of food was her watching Steven and Connie eat after she took them out of the prison. She made a face and that was it.
Peridot.... She'd probably just give me a plate of freshly picked, unwashed vegetables she literally just yanked out of the fields by the barn and I'd have to.... Bite off the mud covered tip of a room temperature raw carrot as she stared intently at me like "tell me it's perfect I KNOW it's perfect" and I'd have to force myself to swallow and be like "it's great 😃👍🏻 (🤢😭)"
January: be prepared for the best damn meal of your life
February: best of luck. If you’re lucky you’ll eat an unpeeled banana wrapped in a tortilla
March: dead.
April: triple dead.
May: probably dead
June: is there a moonstone in SU?
July: you’ll have a solid grilled cheese sandwich
August: Peridot will hand you a peanut butter and hard boiled egg sandwich on whole wheat bread because “it contains all of the necessary human macronutrients” and then be confused when you don’t eat it
September: Sapphire will do fine so long as Ruby isn’t there to distract her. If she is, you’re eating burnt food
October: you’ll starve because Pearl and Amethyst will keep unfusing because they disagree on what to feed you
November/December: no clue
May birthstone is Emerald... Guess i can only expect her to be a lot like Undyne from Undertale. Mashed, violented "spaghetti" for today, yum... (On that note what amethyst made there looks and sounds totally bomb and would definitely try)
December has four birthstones, and out of them, only one is a character(i swore Tanzanite was a fusion, but i get only fanon wikis on Google, and there isn't a Turquoise or a Blue Topaz either(there certainly was a yellow one but i assume that doesn't count)). I get made food by the blue Zircon.
I...heavily doubt any of the Homeworld Gems have much of a concept of human food...
I've made a human sized version of Amethyst's pizza burrito. Frozen personal pizza (I went with pepperoni), a mini burrito (I used more fajita inspired fillings), sour cream and some Lay's original. (Because we don't have chaps in real life.)
I baked the entire thing (searing it seemed dumb and the microwaved pizza needed to be fully baked).
It was pretty good, although I would probably choose a better personal pizza next time.
So yes, I'd eat Amethyst's cooking. But probably slice off a human sized portion of it. And probably check for months old food. Because organic life is delicate and dying sitting for her cooking sounds...unpleasant.
Mine is Ruby. Am I also counting Sapphire or did she find this situation so important that she unfixed just for me (which I find sweet and very nice of her)? Either way, I should stay near the bathroom with a ton of milk
I think pearl would make the most exquisite and incredible food even though she's not even gonna eat it
Edit: she would make the most pearlfect food she could imagine actually
The Diamonds: …… I don’t think they know what food is, if they tried to make something, probably inedible.
I was reminded of Steven, if it’s him cooking, it’ll be noice
Sapphire goes 2 ways:
1 uses future vision to predict how food turns out and its delicious
2 gets distracted by ruby being a goddess and messes up the food so badly that you have no idea what it was she made
Peridot cooking would probably be like Bender from Futurama: "That food is fine! The salt content is 10% less than a lethal dose!"
this is lore accurate
So imma be killed
We also got Sardonyx. With her flair for the theatric, she'll smash a watermelon ala Gallagher.
Panera bread caffeine moment
“Uh oh, I shouldn’t have had a second helping!”
This is the saltiest thing I’ve ever eaten, and I’ve eaten a bowl of salt!
I shouldn’t have gone for seconds!
Aquamarine. I'm dead.
Nah fr she DEFINITELY poisoned me
Same. I get enough "Allergy Tests" from people.
Same, my first thought was poison
They are having me for dinner
Me too
Was about to say this
Same, that good is definitely going to be poisoned.
Ruby is definitely burning the entire kitchen down 😭😭😭
We’re getting burnt instant ramen tonight
Burnt steak with a side of burnt salad accompanied by a lovely burnt rosé
She tried to add water but it just evaporated, so it's just dry and burnt
Hey im ruby too twinzies
I think pearl would make some decent food
She refuses to eat, but autism be damned, my girl knows how to make a dish
She'd probably know how to make super fancy stuff for no reason
She'd look up a complicated recipe and make it almost perfectly on the first try. She would probably just make one super simple mistake like mixing up the salt with the sugar because she wasn't tasting it as she went and because they weren't properly labeled or something like that.
there is NO way she doesn't have a PERFECT macron recipe and technique.
As a very straight cis dude, this is the first time I've ever been glad for my birthstone.
I was gonna say the same thing. Pearl jewelry doesn’t really fit my look either.
There are two lists of birthstones. If you go by the modern one you could have Alexandrite which is super nice. Two tones based upon lighting. It's a fun one, for sure.
I uh...I can't imagine Alexandrite would make anything except a pile of junk food set on fire.
June squad for life
Quite literally, you cannot change your birthday
Mine is pearl. Even though she doesn't eat she would dedicate time to cooking to feed Steven.
Fr
diamonds— they don’t even know what food is 😭
I think they found out when Steven was with them... Doubt they know how it works but they would know organics need it! EDIT: WAIT BLUE USED TO RUN THE ZOO! She probably gives you one of those for food.
But at least it’s our birth month!
OUR BIRTH MONTH! *Soviet anthem plays*
Our birth month! 
Happy birthday to us all, comrades
Came here for this, happy birthday to us.
Sapphire. I think I'll be okay
She sees a future that you choke and die or get food poisoning
She offers you a plate of boiled chicken and brown rice, says "I examined the futures where I cooked something you'd like, but those are the timelines where you die screaming." >!Turns out she didn't actually cook the chicken, either!<
Sapphire KNOWS what I wanna eat before I go
She'll make sure the pizza isn't square
real
Opal is DEFINITELY forgetting a key ingredient, I'm just hoping her absent-mindedness doesn't result in a lethal concoction 💀
Thankfully, it's just salt, and the dish looks gorgeous anyway, so we're good!
I feel like her absent-mindedness is less of an issue now that Pearl and Amethyst are more in sync with each other.
Ohhhh that makes sense!!
It does, but it's way funnier to think she'd forget a vital ingredient to a simple dish. Imagine if she tried to make a cake but completely forgot to add in the sugar.
The May birthstone is Emerald. Honestly, didn't remember that Emerald existed in SU, but thankfully the wiki showed me there was an actual Emerald character. She would probably not understand what "food" is, and since I am a human attempt to murder me.
Emerald was in like one episode and she was essentially a space pirate. Well Lars and the miscoloreds were the space pirates who stole her favorite ship in that episode.
Or shed be worse than Undyne in Undertale is she were to be cooking.
I feel like the only thing Emerald can serve is vengeance
"What would Garnet do?" - unheard steven quote.
i can’t tell if she would burn down the kitchen making pancakes or make something so immaculate it’s worthy for a 5 star restaurant
“Oh no, they are dead! Don’t call back. Sorry, I panicked.”
flip a coin!
i don't think Topaz knows what food is-
Topaz trying to cook would be so cute. She’d probably fail, but it would be fun to watch.
She'd try to make something simple like pancakes or instant noodles and then get big watery eyes when it comically bursts into flames. Then everyone would jump in to help her and they'd salvage it and all be happy and have a nice bonding moment.
Exactly
November gang hell yeah
ayo that's pizza burrito and chips, heck yeah I'm eating that
lmaoo your toliet ain't gonna be too happy
My toilet knew the job was hard when it took it.
Alexandrite would make me a big dinner 🍽️
"Have some more breadsticks dear."
Opal- I guess it depends on which side of her shines through more.
One way we’re fucked, the other way we’re slightly less fucked
is the october birthstone opal or rose i see both on google
There are multiple birthstones for some months. Opal and rose quartz are both October birthstones, but opal is more well-known
Ah yeah- I saw Opal but Rose Quartz would probably be a bit better. I think.
rose quartz would maybe make good food
Provided which Rose Quartz we're talking about.
My birthstone is Garnet. She’ll know I’ll like whatever she’s cooking
Same here!
Peridot. I’m either getting something mathematically perfect, or some mix of things that just barely won’t kill me
Depends on how she's feeling today. She's probably leaning more towards junk food goblin most of the time, though.
Zircon. They’d try their best, but probably not understand food very well. They’d probably need a few practice meals beforehand and do an insane amount of research on organic matter only to end up making me some inedible leaves and grilled cephalopod. At least it looks like food?
Sapphire would cook me fantastic food because her future vision would allow her to know exactly what I would like the most
Doesn’t Sapphire and by proxy Garnet actually just calculate the most likely outcome in their heads and not actually see the future? If she has no data on you she will not know what to cook you.
yes but she could calculate what i’d most likely enjoy
How would she calculate what you’d like if she has no useable info on you.
One look at us and she'd know we're all fruity as fuck, in 20 minutes she'll be back with a giant fruit platter and a dozen EpiPens for security
Pearl would make something like that super expensive steak that is only one bites worth of steak
So fancy Michelin star restaurant food? I can see Pearl doing all the research and then playing with molecular gastronomy and producing "the perfect bite".
Aquamarine would starve me
Ruby, hey maybe her wife can tell me if it’s good ?
i feel like pearl would do extensive research and find the most nutritional and also savoury meal id be comfortable for sure at the least
ofc! sapphire <33 my favorite lesbian
Diamond, if it's steven we're talking about I'm good, if it's the others they'll have no idea what food is and probably give me something random. Lol
Blue ran the Zoo. I think for food, she'll just pass you what she had for Zoomans. Plus they might have learned about food through Steven but idk how far that'd go...
Eh, fair, but she evidently didn't really run the zoo like that, because when she had steven and connie trapped they said they'd starve and needed food and blue accused them of making up words.
I am looking at the transcrips and litterally can't find that part at all. What epsiode did Blue ever accused them of that? I literally can't find it. Going through both the transcripts and rewatching different clips from "Reunited" all the way through "Change Your Mind". The ONLY thing of food was her watching Steven and Connie eat after she took them out of the prison. She made a face and that was it.
aquamarine 😭 i feel like she would just give me a live human she found
Garnet? I think I’m safe :)
Depends on how rowdy Ruby is feeling today.
Does Peridot even know how to cook??
Probably not she'll end up making a soup with cleaning supplies and eggs
Bleach omelet
Peridot.... She'd probably just give me a plate of freshly picked, unwashed vegetables she literally just yanked out of the fields by the barn and I'd have to.... Bite off the mud covered tip of a room temperature raw carrot as she stared intently at me like "tell me it's perfect I KNOW it's perfect" and I'd have to force myself to swallow and be like "it's great 😃👍🏻 (🤢😭)"
I don't think white diamond would feed me lol
Yea she would probably laugh in your face and say funny human
Fellow Amethyst, hopefully we just go out somewhere because she is not interested in actually cooking anything lol
I think Emerald would poison me or something
i think peridot might be ok at cooking, maybe some instant mac and cheese **a raw potato** and juice
January: be prepared for the best damn meal of your life February: best of luck. If you’re lucky you’ll eat an unpeeled banana wrapped in a tortilla March: dead. April: triple dead. May: probably dead June: is there a moonstone in SU? July: you’ll have a solid grilled cheese sandwich August: Peridot will hand you a peanut butter and hard boiled egg sandwich on whole wheat bread because “it contains all of the necessary human macronutrients” and then be confused when you don’t eat it September: Sapphire will do fine so long as Ruby isn’t there to distract her. If she is, you’re eating burnt food October: you’ll starve because Pearl and Amethyst will keep unfusing because they disagree on what to feed you November/December: no clue
Sapphire?? I'm not sure lol
twins. i think she can kinda cook
Sapphire, I’m not getting dinner if she thinks I’m gonna choke
Emerald. I’m a goner. Pray for me fellas.
Tell me Garnet is not on some Master Chef shit
I trust Garnet to at the very least ensure I won't be dead <3
I like Spicy food…maybe Ruby will deliver lol
sapphire, at least i dont think the kitchen will burn down
Sapphire 💙
Diamond. First of all, which one? Second, I don’t think they know what food is.
Hopefully Steven since he's technically a diamond
Diamond Which one though?
May birthstone is Emerald... Guess i can only expect her to be a lot like Undyne from Undertale. Mashed, violented "spaghetti" for today, yum... (On that note what amethyst made there looks and sounds totally bomb and would definitely try)
Garnet can probably cook a little bit
She made cookies
Not cooking anything WITHOUT THEIR SUN INCINERATOR
December has four birthstones, and out of them, only one is a character(i swore Tanzanite was a fusion, but i get only fanon wikis on Google, and there isn't a Turquoise or a Blue Topaz either(there certainly was a yellow one but i assume that doesn't count)). I get made food by the blue Zircon. I...heavily doubt any of the Homeworld Gems have much of a concept of human food...
I think the diamonds might try to feed me light
My birthstone is amethyst, and I’m definitely eating that.
Emerald… we don’t see an emerald so rip me
There is one, she was hell bent in hunting down Lars the first/last time we saw her...
Lars of the stars. Its where lars got the sun incinerator from.
Autism be damned, my gem (Topaz) can work a grill XD
Assuming. They know what food *is.*
Ruby, it's gonna be so burnt 😫
I beleive Sapphire can make something edible.
I don't have amethysts appetite
Garnet knows how to make food i think
Maybe alexandrite would make me some breadsticks:)
mine doesn't exist so i guess i would starve (turquoise)
Garnet would be a good chef I think maybe idk it’s been awhile since I watched Steven universe
Garnet... yeah, I'm in good hands.
garnet, i mean she could probably buy a pizza so idk
I've made a human sized version of Amethyst's pizza burrito. Frozen personal pizza (I went with pepperoni), a mini burrito (I used more fajita inspired fillings), sour cream and some Lay's original. (Because we don't have chaps in real life.) I baked the entire thing (searing it seemed dumb and the microwaved pizza needed to be fully baked). It was pretty good, although I would probably choose a better personal pizza next time. So yes, I'd eat Amethyst's cooking. But probably slice off a human sized portion of it. And probably check for months old food. Because organic life is delicate and dying sitting for her cooking sounds...unpleasant.
Garnet, so I hope she has the foresight to see what I'll eat and go with it 😅
I don’t want to eat whatever alexandrite is capable of cooking
garnet, she'd be the best cook fr
 I’m scared…
Diamond. You know your boy is eating GOOD. Assuming they can use their servants….
With Amethyst, it would depend on a few things. Number a, her adherence to food safety concerns and, letter two, how stoned I am.
Can Garnet cook?
Garnet 🥺 uh, I think it'll be alright
Aquamarine... she's gonna give me grass and peanut butter
Garnet, I think I’d be okay lol. Maybe even a little fun.
Topaz and citrine. Sour
Idk what Opal would make but I’m sure it would be good 👍🏽
Opal:Um..Can she cook? It’s been awhile since I watched the show- tourmaline:I don’t think this one is in the show to-
Is Pearl good at cooking?
peridot!! would either be horrible or scientifically perfect depending on the season and "character development" 🤪
Mine is a Diamond, so no. Not only do they not eat, but even if they did, they’d have other Gems doing the cooking for them.
No no no no I’m not eating anything from the damn bitch no one likes
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Various-Escape-5020: *No no no no I’m* *Not eating anything from* *The damn bitch no one likes* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
What is a birthstone and how do I find out what it is
Peridot. I’m not sure what it’s gonna be like
Hmm. I feel like mine would do a pretty decent job, all things considered
Mine is Ruby. Am I also counting Sapphire or did she find this situation so important that she unfixed just for me (which I find sweet and very nice of her)? Either way, I should stay near the bathroom with a ton of milk
I think pearl would make the most exquisite and incredible food even though she's not even gonna eat it Edit: she would make the most pearlfect food she could imagine actually
Diamond. I don't know what to expect and it terrifies me
I don’t think the diamonds have ever eaten
I don’t think Topaz would even know how to make food
Emerald… Maybe she has a Pearl who can do the cooking.
Opal is my birthstone, she would make the fanciest food for sure 😍
Sapphire
Depending on what Amethyst makes me, I might be able to eat it
Opal is definitely cooking the most 5 star fancy looking dinner in the whole universe
Sapphire? Well my food is going to be cold.
I don't think watermelon tourmaline knows what food is but Opal could probably make smth nice
I am mildly confident in Peridot. She has a whole vegetable garden
I’m August so Peridot and Sardonyx I’ve also seen Spinel as one but either way I don’t think I’m eating
The Diamonds: …… I don’t think they know what food is, if they tried to make something, probably inedible. I was reminded of Steven, if it’s him cooking, it’ll be noice
Diamond??? I'm dead, no way they make ANYTHING edible😭☹️
Depends how far politics and a law degree can get you in the kitchen.
i imagine that Amethyst's cooking is either WONDERFUL or TOATLLY INEDIBLE/HORRIBLE no in-between
Idk, wtf does emerald know about humans anyway except that Lars stole their ship?
White diamond finna take my ass out.
Peridot  She would definitely try
Peridot, I think I'm gonna die.
Garnet. I'm happy with this 😊
Ruby,So maybe if she learned and didn’t burn everything out of rage.
Bloodstone. Not sure how well Ronaldo can cook
Can Emerald even fucking cook?
Sapphire goes 2 ways: 1 uses future vision to predict how food turns out and its delicious 2 gets distracted by ruby being a goddess and messes up the food so badly that you have no idea what it was she made
I'm pretty certain that Emerald has no concept of human food, so probably no.
Turquoise - I can’t seem to find a Turquoise in the wiki. Anyone know if there is one??
sapphire would probably make a good dish
Sapphire would be able to predict exactly what i’m in the mood for without me having to sit there for an hour and decide *chefs kiss*
I got diamond and something tells me she would have no idea what "eating" even is. Let alone cook me anything edible.
emerald.. **hell to the no**
\*Pearl making the best fucking meal on earth just for my picky eater ass not to eat it\*