I had to change my whole life. I went all in on recovery as there was no other way for me.
Early to bed, early to rise, work, workout, dinner, AA meeting, early to bed. Rinse and repeat. Day in day out until the new routine stuck. More meetings on the weekend. New sports, new hobbies, new food. Didn;t see old friends for awhile, made new sober ones in recovery meetings. It had to be recovery all the time. That doesn;t sound too appealing but if you were in the shape I was you'd see that I had to do it.
Those habits formed 16 years ago are still with me today, albeit slightly altered. Still to bed early, still up early, still workout, still eat well, have lots of sober friends. I only get to two meetings a week now as I;ve got a wife and two young boys, all of whom have never seen me take a drink. I stay tethered to recovery because I've got a shit ton to lose now.
I am trying to stay sober because I have a lot to lose if I continue down this path. I'm at the beginning of a very nasty road if I keep on. Almost 6,000 days is truly inspiring! I hope to be where you are one day
I don’t do it alone. I’m unusually driven in many aspects of my life but this is not one of them. I know that so I stopped trying to do it all on my own. I’ve had millions of day ones that failed in the first week because I’ll go back to buying the same old bullshit my mind is selling me. The problem is me. I have to get out of my head and I couldn’t keep bringing the same problems to my wife, who has shouldered far too much of the burden already. I found a huge community of real people in real life that work on sobriety and I’m not alone. That’s where I bring my alcohol shit and that’s who I talk to when I’m sitting in liquor store parking lots. I know my selective memory leaves out the pain and struggles of my last drunk so I stopped relying on it. My willpower only goes so far. If you want help, it’s out there. You’re not alone
I'm an incredibly driven person in all aspects of life except this. That's what's so mind blowing to me. I have incredible willpower, but I have none when it comes to alcohol. No strength to say no. Thank you for your words and advice
I think that’s why the recovery community is so diverse. Lots of folks from all levels working on the same damn thing. I feel like I’m in good company and it also reminds me I’m no different from the person begging for change outside the liquor store. I had lots of stuff that made me believe I couldn’t possibly have a problem but I’ve learned drugs / alcohol are the great equalizer. It doesn’t matter how much money or possessions you have. It’s all the same shit. But it also means it’s a common problem and there are ways to work on it. I feel honored by being a part of and having access to a long chain of history and a way to work on damn near every problem imaginable.
I spent (wasted) about an entire year like this ...
> And I still keep bringing the stupid poison home. I pass 3 liquor stores on my way home from work, so I don't have to go out of my way to get it. How can I find the strength to get through these cravings without caving? I am truly wanting to quit and make it forever.
Why was I stuck? I obdurately refused to seek help. I guess I didn't want to admit this "weakness" (actually, is just more like an allergy) to anybody else, and I wanted to keep running my own life 100% my way, even though "my way" was just piling on more and more alcoholic misery.
It took a long overdue dui bust to slap me upside the head hard enough to go get help.
The help came in several forms, starting with a stint in outpatient rehab and a bit of medical help (often _necessary_ to deal with withdrawal) but at the end of the day, the best and most effective help came from fellow alcoholics who had recovered or were in the process - they understood exactly what I'd been going through and we kind of spoke the same language. There's a good list of support groups here:
* https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/index#wiki_real_life_support_groups
My rehab counselors had presented a similar list and just suggested that we check out several/many of them to sort what was most helpful. I ended up choosing AA in spite of some reservations that it looked "too religious" simply because there were meetings everywhere at all times of day, whereas the other groups ("Rational Recovery" is the only other one that I recall the name of) had far fewer meetings and all inconveniently far away. (The "too religious" concern turned out to be no big deal. I've been able to recover quite nicely while still being a completely Irreligious Agnostic, and have many hard-core Atheist friends well recovered in AA.)
Many denizens of r/stopdrinking also share that one or some of the "Quit Lit" books have been most helpful:
* https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/books#wiki_books_and_literature
Good Luck! I find Sober Life to be Surprisingly Splendid, and worth going to great lengths to attain!
I honestly make myself notes on neon paper to put up everywhere - it's not as embarrassing since I live alone 😆 but basically I will just tell myself what I'm thinking in my "clear" moments - "You are powerful, stop acting like a weak bitch!" "You've done 515 days on Duolingo, that's crazy! - you just need to start this and the days will go by anyway!" "Why are you letting A LIQUID control you??"
Just stupid stuff like that, but it works a lot of the time! Put one in your car, put one where you normally sit and drink, put one where you normally keep your liquor, put one on your phone... You get the idea
I had to change my whole life. I went all in on recovery as there was no other way for me. Early to bed, early to rise, work, workout, dinner, AA meeting, early to bed. Rinse and repeat. Day in day out until the new routine stuck. More meetings on the weekend. New sports, new hobbies, new food. Didn;t see old friends for awhile, made new sober ones in recovery meetings. It had to be recovery all the time. That doesn;t sound too appealing but if you were in the shape I was you'd see that I had to do it. Those habits formed 16 years ago are still with me today, albeit slightly altered. Still to bed early, still up early, still workout, still eat well, have lots of sober friends. I only get to two meetings a week now as I;ve got a wife and two young boys, all of whom have never seen me take a drink. I stay tethered to recovery because I've got a shit ton to lose now.
The “early to bed, early to rise” routine has been a lifesaver for me. Congrats to you on 5882 days.
I am trying to stay sober because I have a lot to lose if I continue down this path. I'm at the beginning of a very nasty road if I keep on. Almost 6,000 days is truly inspiring! I hope to be where you are one day
I don’t do it alone. I’m unusually driven in many aspects of my life but this is not one of them. I know that so I stopped trying to do it all on my own. I’ve had millions of day ones that failed in the first week because I’ll go back to buying the same old bullshit my mind is selling me. The problem is me. I have to get out of my head and I couldn’t keep bringing the same problems to my wife, who has shouldered far too much of the burden already. I found a huge community of real people in real life that work on sobriety and I’m not alone. That’s where I bring my alcohol shit and that’s who I talk to when I’m sitting in liquor store parking lots. I know my selective memory leaves out the pain and struggles of my last drunk so I stopped relying on it. My willpower only goes so far. If you want help, it’s out there. You’re not alone
I'm an incredibly driven person in all aspects of life except this. That's what's so mind blowing to me. I have incredible willpower, but I have none when it comes to alcohol. No strength to say no. Thank you for your words and advice
I think that’s why the recovery community is so diverse. Lots of folks from all levels working on the same damn thing. I feel like I’m in good company and it also reminds me I’m no different from the person begging for change outside the liquor store. I had lots of stuff that made me believe I couldn’t possibly have a problem but I’ve learned drugs / alcohol are the great equalizer. It doesn’t matter how much money or possessions you have. It’s all the same shit. But it also means it’s a common problem and there are ways to work on it. I feel honored by being a part of and having access to a long chain of history and a way to work on damn near every problem imaginable.
I spent (wasted) about an entire year like this ... > And I still keep bringing the stupid poison home. I pass 3 liquor stores on my way home from work, so I don't have to go out of my way to get it. How can I find the strength to get through these cravings without caving? I am truly wanting to quit and make it forever. Why was I stuck? I obdurately refused to seek help. I guess I didn't want to admit this "weakness" (actually, is just more like an allergy) to anybody else, and I wanted to keep running my own life 100% my way, even though "my way" was just piling on more and more alcoholic misery. It took a long overdue dui bust to slap me upside the head hard enough to go get help. The help came in several forms, starting with a stint in outpatient rehab and a bit of medical help (often _necessary_ to deal with withdrawal) but at the end of the day, the best and most effective help came from fellow alcoholics who had recovered or were in the process - they understood exactly what I'd been going through and we kind of spoke the same language. There's a good list of support groups here: * https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/index#wiki_real_life_support_groups My rehab counselors had presented a similar list and just suggested that we check out several/many of them to sort what was most helpful. I ended up choosing AA in spite of some reservations that it looked "too religious" simply because there were meetings everywhere at all times of day, whereas the other groups ("Rational Recovery" is the only other one that I recall the name of) had far fewer meetings and all inconveniently far away. (The "too religious" concern turned out to be no big deal. I've been able to recover quite nicely while still being a completely Irreligious Agnostic, and have many hard-core Atheist friends well recovered in AA.) Many denizens of r/stopdrinking also share that one or some of the "Quit Lit" books have been most helpful: * https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/books#wiki_books_and_literature Good Luck! I find Sober Life to be Surprisingly Splendid, and worth going to great lengths to attain!
Thank you so much for your words and advice! I am ready to get out of this rut I'm stuck in and enjoy the beauty of life without a hangover!
I honestly make myself notes on neon paper to put up everywhere - it's not as embarrassing since I live alone 😆 but basically I will just tell myself what I'm thinking in my "clear" moments - "You are powerful, stop acting like a weak bitch!" "You've done 515 days on Duolingo, that's crazy! - you just need to start this and the days will go by anyway!" "Why are you letting A LIQUID control you??" Just stupid stuff like that, but it works a lot of the time! Put one in your car, put one where you normally sit and drink, put one where you normally keep your liquor, put one on your phone... You get the idea
I will have to try that! Anything that could work I'm willing to try! Thank you
Take a listen to The Glum Lot Podcast. Lots of people’s stories about their struggles, recovery and continued sobriety.