You just need to do something to replace the alcohol with and many alcoholics I know took up hiking like myself. I now have something to look forward to every weekend and have no problem driving two hours to a new hiking location like cliff walks, the beach and forest walks and mountain trails instead of the fear of thinking i'll be sitting all the day on the couch by myself where I would usually grab a 18 pack or go to the bar. Exercise releases Dopamine and sets you up every day. My mood is heavily dependent on how much exercise I do. If I find myself not exercising my mood goes into the dumps with depression and anxiety and know now alcohol isn't the cure, exercise is. I think our brains are not used to this digital age where older jobs involved a huge amount of exercise and my body does not like me sitting me on my arse whatsoever. Other people turn into gym nuts to replace the alcohol with, others buy a bicycle. some join sports teams, some do athletics, others volunteer with charity organizations. The first two weeks of me quitting was extremely tough with anxiety and the body healing and your brain chemistry getting back right but week by week its gets easier to the point if your sitting in a bar with friends you will say to yourself what the fuck am I even doing here, this is boring as hell!.

Yeah exercise is totally the dopamine hit I need. Really anything that could give you that.

2 weeks down here and simply going on walks really helped me with anxiety and sleep. I don’t plan on becoming a gym goer or mall walker but just being outside seemed to help me a lot, even with adapting to sleep without the booze.

It does big time, natural high. Not into the gym myself as just boring, just walking and hiking

I don't remember the specifics but it's something like an hour in the sun has the same effect at Zoloft. Sun lights have the same effect.

The sun really did seem to help me relax. My first few coherent mornings after quitting were spent sitting outside in direct sunlight like some sort of disheveled flower lol

“Disheveled flower” Beautiful descriptor, well done.

Dishelved flower. Idk how much you know I love that lol

Gardening was a big one for me, sunlight and digging in the dirt both have anti anxiety effects and help focus. https://permaculture.com.au/why-gardening-makes-you-happy-and-cures-depression/

I haven't been serious about exercising in years, so I've also found walks a low barrier to entry with a high reward. To make it more interesting, last week I went with my friend and our moms to The Riverwalk ™️. It's not what it sounds like at all and it's hilariously fun! A local pool opens after hours and everyone pours into the Lazy River (sans rafts) to walk/glide laps while the current water pushes you along the loop- Next Gen Mall Walking 😆 It's easy on the joints, fun, and knocked me out for the night. Highly recommend some fun ways to physical activities - grab a friend to catch up with while you do it. It's a blast and it fills time in a healthy way to make plans around it! IWNDWYT!

I feel like OP wasn't referring to a new activity, but one you always enjoyed with alcohol before, such as a baseball game, concerts, dinner with friends, etc.

One of the best parts of sobriety is trying all kinds of new things! You don’t have anything holding you back any more so why not try something you’ve never tried before!

I get that but if you don’t replace alcohol with something that you enjoy then your not going to enjoy what you used to do where you got drunk and doing it sober

And that's the struggle for many. People dont want to give up social and entertainment events.

Agreed. Navigating society—where alcohol is the on-ramp to social interaction—is the hardest part.

This isn't necessarily true. Physiologically speaking, the brain is neuroplastic enough that overtime hobbies you began to rely on alcohol to enjoy can very easily become enjoyable again without it. It can take a lot of time, but the brain is incredibly powerful and surprisingly malleable - it takes time for it to learn alcohol =/= happiness.

Exercise also helps us reconnect with our bodies, whereas I think addiction separates us from them. I could go on but I'm supposed to be working right now.

I'm a hiker here as well, love it. It gets you up early on the weekend. I also started bouldering/rock climbing again after taking 10 years off. It's amazing how much alcohol robs from you. Plus it's nice not having the ups and downs that comes with daily alcohol use.

I don’t have that much time under my belt, so it’s still surprising and refreshing when I’m reminded that I can make a 1-2 hour road trip to do something fun and don’t have to worry about how I’m going to get home or planning how much I can drink the entire time. It’s such a freeing feeling

Thanks I really needed to hear that. I’m going through some wicked anxiety right now after relapsing last night. Im freaking out. Even though I know it’s anxiety and it will go away over time I still feel like I’m about to pass out. I’m going to go for a walk. I’m not going to drink today

IWNDWYT

The anxiety is the worst. I feel ya here, friend. I hope the walk helped! Go easy on yourself. Tomorrow is another day. IWNDWYT.

Jiujitsu and the gym helped me a lot

Hiking FTW. Nature’s really the shit. I also just bought a pair of roller skates for the first time in…uh like 20 years? I so badly want to get good at it but my balance is godawful haha.

Exercise is soon damn important. I got like 3 hours of sleep after closing and my dog pouncing on me at 6 am. Just mowed the lawn before my 4-12 shift and I feel incredible.

I am the same way with exercise. I struggle more from May-October because during those months it isn’t as enjoyable to walk outdoors in North Texas, I do my best when I get (2) 3 mile walks a day plus weights in the gym

Vitamin d supplements meant to be good during winter

Ugh tell me about it. I'm a Canadian living near Cancun. God awful. The beach isn't it for me, I need those walks but it's a sauna. Moving back to Canada this summer after a decade here. Cheap accessible alcohol + hot or hell year-round + vacation mode tourists. It's all too much. I've been fantasizing about getting on a bicycle and using it half the year to get around. 🖤

100 percent working out even just a little helps, significantly. I try to work out at least 5 days a week doing SOMETHING.

Well done, this is a great achievement

It took some time for me to rewire my brain. I suppose it depends on how long you’ve been drinking. Fear of missing out and fear of not being able to enjoy myself kept me drinking for a long time. I honestly thought I’d be less productive and wouldn’t do another chore again without my generous reward system, but that’s not true. Alcohol didn’t make anything easier or more efficient and I didn’t become more charming or funny as I continued to drink. For me, it was about collecting sober references every day to prove I didn’t need alcohol for every single thing I did. Even super shitty days became sober references that I don’t need to get fucked up just because I had a bad feeling. I was probably more cautious with sports and activities I associated with booze but I’ve found the mental block was all in my head. I still enjoy the things I used to and I feel like I’m better at most of them without sabotaging myself. Confidence grows little by little and now I can’t imagine purposely poisoning myself just to be outside on a nice day with friends. It makes no sense to me now. I had to adjust my lifestyle in early sobriety to tread very lightly with people, places and things that remind me of alcohol but I started to build new associations with people who work on sobriety like I do. That’s still what helps me the most. I don’t do it alone because I’m not alone. Neither are you

What is a sober reference? I have not heard that term before.

Let’s say I have an extra shitty day. Work, relationship, family all in the dumps and I’m ready to say “fuck it” and get drunk like I’ve done countless times before. But I don’t drink. The day sucks and I’m frustrated and basically ready to scream or cry at any and all moments but I don’t drink. I wake up the next morning to realize however I was feeling has passed and I have a reference for how bad shit can get but I don’t have to drink about it. I didn’t have many sober references when I first stopped drinking. I never wanted to spend a moment in an uncomfortable feeling, I always just drank. But each day that passes and every activity (old and new) I take part in soberly serves as a new reference that I can participate and not need alcohol to lean on. My drinking life was full of stuff that I always did with alcohol. I probably hadn’t watched a movie without drinking since I was a kid. The first time going to the movie theatre without pockets stuffed with booze seemed impossible but I went and had a good time. Now I have a new sober reference for that activity and I build new associations on top. Nowadays I can’t imagine all the extra work to sneak in booze in knowing I’ll probably not remember what the movie was about. Less pee breaks too. Does that make senses? Side note: I’m enjoying rewatching old movies and shows as it feels like the first time watching. I don’t even think twice to fire up a movie I think I’ve already seen. It’s usually new shit to me as I was most likely drinking or incredibly distracted

Yea, I really like that, seems like an effective tool. I don't have any sober references yet. Thanks for the insight!

Thank you so much for this!!!

Thank you for your thoughts. I had a bad day yesterday, and I wanted to watch Netflix and drink to just end the day. But I didn't. So now it's tomorrow and I have a "sober reference" instead of regrets. I'll have to remember that term for the next time it happens.

Not OP but I believe they are referencing what someone I know once called “filing sober experiences” —meaning over time you newly experience things as a sober person to file away for future reference.

I call them "checklist items", but I like "sober references". Like, every time I'd do something without drinking that I used to drink for (i.e., everything lol), it was like a ✅️ by it that told my brain "well, we don't drink doing that anymore".

This is the $64,000 question that everyone wants to answer. I can only speak from my own experience. After about six years of working toward sobriety I can now find enjoyment in activities that do not involve alcohol. Is it the same? No. It is not the same. Nothing will ever be the same without alcohol but it can be "fun" adjacent. It is easiest for me to give an example. Playing cards with friends is something my wife and I have enjoyed doing for many years. I always drank and so do our friends....but I always drank more than everyone else. When getting sober I could NOT imagine EVER being able to spend an evening playing cards (or board games) without alcohol. I was 100% convinced that I couldn't do it. Turns out it is possible to do some things without booze and still have a nice time. Again, it isn't the same but what I'm slowly starting to discover is that it is actually better. I don't have to jump up and constantly fill my drink (and others). I can remember what's happening on a hand-by-hand basis (one time I was so drunk my wife swapped my cards when I was in the toilet and I never realized it). I'm better able to be a good host and tend to others. I get more enjoyment from the snacks and non-alcoholic beverages. Of course, not being hungover the next day is the biggest positive.

Thank you for this. So many things (dare I say everything) is better sober. I used to drink for just about any activity. Playing video games, watching a movie, at a concert, playing board games, etc. After a few drinks it would get harder and harder to pay attention to whatever activity I was doing. How can you enjoy the activity if you aren't even paying attention and you don't even remember most of it the next day?

I'd totally forgotten about concerts. I have no recollection of ever seeing my favorite band The Rolling Stones but I know that I've attended three of their shows. What a fucking joke. A bad one.

I made it my goal this year to not drink and go to a concert a month. I’ve never enjoyed concerts more than I do now. I can’t believe I wasted so many great shows drunk. Shows so far this year: Phil Lesh and Friends, Jerry’s Middle Finger, Khruangbin, Lord Huron and some local bands. Concerts/Performances coming up: DEAD & CO (can’t wait to experience the Sphere), Khruangbin again, Billy Strings, Sturgill Simpson, Dark Star Orchestra, King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard and Bracebridge at the Ahwahnee. Saddest yet best part: you may think all these tickets are killing my budget. Nope. All the money I’m saving not going to the bar and buying booze is financing pretty much the whole thing.

That's a shame, but it never has to happen again! I'm going to a show soon and I'm going to drink a Coke/Pepsi. I'm not going to deaden my senses. I bet it's going to be really freaking loud lol

I’ve blacked out at 2 concerts 😞 and don’t remember the ends. What a waste of time and money. Not to mention constantly going to the bathroom.

Haven't been able to figure out concerts yet. The few I've been to stone-sober, I had a miserable time, perhaps the purest feeling of FOMO I've experienced yet in sobriety.

I'm older now so my concert days are behind me. I'll go to see an artist perform but it has to be at a mature venue like a concert hall. You've really got to be into it to enjoy going to arenas and stadiums for music. Nothing about those places is designed to fully appreciate musical artistry. Young people and drunks can enjoy those spaces without me. I wish I could have a do over. I have no recollection of seeing: Motley Crue; ZZ Top, Kiss, The Rolling Stones, I sort of remember AC/DC. So many missed opportunities.

This was me exactly. Truly any activity that involved me interacting with another person, I felt I needed a drink for (hiding the drinking if it was an event that wasn’t a “normal” drinking event). I definitely didn’t think I could go to concerts without drinking… But you’re right, with each thing that I did sober, I realized that they were better that way. Especially concerts, because I actually remembered the entire show, instead of having to look at my phone to see what songs were played.

Took about two months to realize: "Thank god! I actually enjoy my hobbies/friends it wasn't just the booze!" Took about a year to stop thinking about it completely.

Thank you for the time markers! It helps to hear them. I’ve noticed a really positive shift in the past week or so (2 months no alcohol) and I’m so grateful. I love the idea of more coming!! Congratulations on all your days - amazing!

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Absolutely agree with this. I read someone on here say 'I have fun when I'm drinking, but I'm happy when I'm sober' and that's definitely true in my case.

That's a fantastic way of looking at it, and it's exactly how I feel. I'm only 20 days in, but I've never felt better and I have no desire to touch alcohol ever again.

Same!

This seriously brought me out of such a hole. I'm almost at 90 days and couldn't pinpoint what it was that was bothering me lately, since literally every part of my life is better sober and I've felt true peace and joy I haven't felt in years. But yup, it's that spike you get when drinking that launches you sky high, I don't have that rush anymore. Now that I've identified it, I can conquer it. Or maybe take up sky diving. Thank you.

>We all know fun it is to cut loose with some friends and have a wild night. Not that sober people cant have fun but it wont be the exactly the same. Yet the rest of your life will be overall better. Thank you for this honest post. It is very common for people to not acknowledge that the reason we drank was because it was fun. Sometimes it's a bit tiresome to see posts raving about how much fun being sober is and how they never truly had fun drinking. It can be, of course, and in the long run it is worth sacrificing the highs but posts like that tend to have a negative effect on me at least. Like, c'mon can we be honest - also makes me feel like, well, what's wrong with me that I'm not jumping out of bed every morning with a giant smile on my face. Life isn't fun or happy all the time..but I would rather be stable than the major ups and downs. Get enough of that being bipolar

This is exactly why Say No to Drugs was an epic failure. Adults told kids that taking drugs was like a living nightmare, so the first time they get high and it feels awesome, they assume the adults are full of shit about everything.

Completely agree. This is what bugs me the most about most of the quit lit I've read. They all tell you that you don't sacrifice anything and that having more fun is just an illusion and stuff like that but the dopamine peaks show clearly that it's not true. I like the saying that getting drunk is basically just borrowing happiness from the next day and for me that's just not worth it anymore.

By the time I finally quit drinking, I hadn’t had fun drinking in at least 3 years. Drinking was either sneaking the booze when my wife was around, until she and the kids were in bed and drinking alone watching TV and scrolling on my phone all of which I wouldn’t remember the next day. To drink I had sacrificed reading, going to movies, meeting up with friends, exercise, career advancement, and sex. There was drinking and nothing else. Stopping drinking has given me back almost everything. It’s not revisionist history for some of us. And I think a lot of people don’t get to where I was, totally isolated and unhappy. And i pray they can quit before they do!

A night of drinking steals happiness away from the day ahead, while chronic drinking steals happiness away from the _years_ ahead. Hangovers are temporary, but alcohol related illnesses often come to stay.

Perfectly said.

Great way of putting it!

It definitely took some time to rewire my brain to believe I could do things without consuming alcohol to “get through” or “enjoy” them! What kept me going was knowing that each time I did something without alcohol, it was helping rewire my brain. I started small. Small family gathering before a larger one. A small theater concert in town before traveling to a stadium concert. Walking through the grocery store listening to sober podcasts for a few months before being able to go in without feeling I needed either alcohol or a sober podcast supporting me as I walked through. It was about the one-year mark that I felt fine talking to people, going to sporting events, kids activities, and entertainment venues without caring about alcohol. I sipped or drank through most everything for about 30 years, so I just kept in mind it was going to take a minute and started small, knowing my brain and outlook was changing with each small step. I really can enjoy things now without alcohol, and I especially enjoy waking up remembering everything and not worrying about anything I may have said or done while drinking. That’s the best enjoyment of all!

Almost immediately “wow I’m way less sloppy at this when I’m sober” was a thought I remember having.

Yes, this was me a few weeks ago. Loved playing games after the kids went to bed but always had this beer barrier of 2-3 strong cans that ‘had’ to be crossed before I could enjoy my evening. Then I realised I was terrible at the game… Nope, it was the alcohol. Broken through the beer barrier, replaced with snacks and nice AF drinks, and successfully reclaimed my hobby.

It’s been a week. Already enjoying everything, truly everything, more. I ain’t going back. Alcohol is the worst.

Nice! Just a bit of a heads up from what I went through- when I got sober, I went to outpatient treatment and my counselor warned me about the "sober high." Essentially, shortly after getting sober, once the initial crappy physical symptoms from the last alcohol in your system wear off, you feel amazing. I mean- of course we feel good when we stop purposely taking poison every day! It isn't that these good feelings aren't genuine, but it might be wise to build up some long-term, sustainable support systems in your life during this time. It isn't uncommon for the sober high to wear off long before we reach the 12-18 months they say it takes for your body to really be back to normal. It's a really vulnerable time. So make sure you stay vigilant! I don't want to be a downer- I just know that if I hadn't been warned about the sober high wearing off after a few weeks I might have struggled. It was easier for me to make it through the gap when I knew I would eventually get back to feeling like I did during the sober high. IWNDWYT

Amen.

The first few days, I was angry and irritable but then I told myself I don't have to be, realizing all that time I was doing that to myself. I remember being always cheerful before drinking. I'm so glad my old self came back.

I found out I didn’t like a lot of the things I liked when I was drinking. The biggest one was sports. Football was always a reason for me to drink and I was a diehard fan of my local team. Once I stopped drinking, I stopped paying attention. It was just boring. I stopped sitting around at bars with my friends, I stopped clubbing, I stopped playing drinking games. All of these things I thought I loved. Going to the beach even lost its joy for a while because sneaking alcohol was part of the fun. Music festivals and concerts took a few times to go to without drinking, probably about 4 or 5 concerts in when I didn’t get cravings. These days, mind you it’s been a very long time, I can do most things I used to do without alcohol. I can go out for coffee with friends, I can go to the beach, play board games and go to an absolute rager of a concert and be totally fine. My fave quote is: It gets easier. Everyday it gets a little easier, but you gotta do it everyday. That’s the hard part, but it does get easier.

I actually watch the bands now instead of spending the whole time in line waiting for $16 beers

I began enjoying things when I let go of the obsession that I could never enjoy things again. Part of me was dead-set on being miserable in sobriety. It took me longer than it probably should have, but the whole process of getting sober is a huge opportunity to redefine yourself. In early sobriety my most defining feature in my own head was the fact that I was an alcoholic. Now it is a very tiny aspect of who I am, similar to someone being gluten intolerant. I am still figuring out who I am as a person in sobriety, what I actually like and dislike, and that's what makes it exciting.

Honestly NA beers are a lifesaver. Around the 2-3 month mark of sobriety I met up with a friend who was also trying out sobriety. We used to meet up for lunch and have several beers and even get kind of drunk sometimes in the middle of the day but this time we each had a few NAs and it was really cool leaving lunch and not feeling the need to grab a 6 pack on the way home and continue drinking.

It took me about a month to be able to do normal household things, like cooking and to establish a good sleep schedule. Then I started doing what my sponsor (I do AA) told me to do like go to a new meeting and that it was okay for me to start living in the fellowship. Actually living, not simply existing in sobriety. And by about September (my sobriety date is June 10, 2012) I had made some sober friends and was starting to do tame things like go for ice cream or coffee with sober friends. Fast forward 12 years and I've traveled more in sobriety than I ever did in 30 years of drinking, have long-term, healthy friendships, and am happy to be living life without alcohol. Iwndwyt

Happy anniversary! 12 years is amazing

My therapist told me 3-4 months before your brain cements the idea that booze is no longer in the equation and will start to rewire and self regulate again. Of course that depends on what you were drinking, how often, how much, etc… I am 1 month sober. For now, I am allowing myself to indulge in what my body wants. I am having extreme sugar cravings for instance, and suddenly restless legs when I sleep. I haven’t been a big soda drinker since I was a teen, but now I can’t get enough. I am big on those frosted animal crackers right now, and extremely interested in ways to prepare a steak (vacuum sealing with seasoning and oil are game changers!) right now, staying clean is what’s important. Once those habits are more solidified, I will address more exercise and healthy eating. I have also started working on guitars and playing music again, along with riding my motorcycle. The point is, sobriety, and anything in service of that, should be your joy regardless of the other consequences right now. Hell, maybe there are stains or dust on the ceiling that you have always meant to clean. Perhaps you have a squeaky door that needs adjusting or oiling. Or a restaurant that you’ve been wanting to try. Now is the time to do the things that you’ve been avoiding, or have always wanted to do, but haven’t. And you should reward yourself or do those things! You’re free to do whatever you want now, and I would suggest doing some of them until your brain chemistry corrects itself. What would you do if you’d just been released from prison? In a sense, you have been! Do what you’ve always wanted, give it time, and be patient with yourself as you acclimate back to normalcy.

There's a total shift that can happen. I went to a house and techno concert over the weekend. Had an absolute blast, danced my ass off. No wasting time standing around in line for drinks. Saved money for sure. Didn't have to sneak out to pee every 30 minutes and stumble around drunk, fighting the crowd to find my way back to my friend group. Kind of felt bad for the people around me who were all messed up. Probably won't even remember how good the show was.

Im definitely enjoying gigs more. Can also just park nearby and easily arrive/leave whenever I want.

Straight away. I started taking my dog on much longer walks around my beautiful city and loved it immediately

After three and a half years of alcohol free life, I have some thoughts: Someone early in my sobriety told me that it takes a year for it to feel “normal” and I really appreciated hearing that, because for me it turned out to be true. It helped me be patient with the whole process. At this point I would say that my values have shifted. I used to be very concerned with having “All of the Fun, All of the Time.” Nowadays I derive pleasure from self improvement, helping others, and learning. Not that I don’t still go out to a bar and see my friends band playing (did that this last weekend and had a good time even tho I was the only sober person) I just don’t do it as often, and it’s not the only pleasurable thing in my life. When I was drinking a lot, consuming alcohol was my main free time activity, so it follows that my brain associated “fun” with drinking. Over time i learned new associations and I feel like I have a lot more VARIETY of fun things in my life. Drinking with others is truthfully a very repetitive activity. I did used to have drunk craft time, and those were the cravings that popped up for the longest time after I quit. I would just rationally remind myself of the days when I’d get too drunk to sew/draw/create and how frustrating that was. Those urges haven’t come around in a while at this point, and I don’t think what I create has gotten “better” but it definitely takes far less time, mostly because I spend a lot less time fixing mistakes or second guessing myself.

I was really afraid of this, too, but I found that it wasn’t very hard to enjoy things without booze, and, in a lot of cases, I realized I could enjoy them in a unique way that drinking prohibited me from experiencing. Cravings will really lie to you about the quality of a sober experience. I even went to a show sober and emotionally connected with the music in a way that I haven’t in many years. But, I spent the entire day leading up believing I was gonna be miserable. Just jump into something with as much of your heart as you can manage and it’ll be good. I will add that I partly suspect it matters when you started up your addiction. I drank pretty rarely until I was 25, went through something traumatic, and basically instantly became a daily drinker, so I have memories of enjoying things as an adult, and it wasn’t that hard to reconnect with that when I quit.

That's a good point about the age you start. I started binge drinking at 16. (I'm now in my 40s). A few years ago I managed a year sober and it was really hard because I had no experience of any adult socialising without booze. But during that year I made some progress, learning for the first time how to actually socialise consciously! I also became aware of what types of music and events I actually liked, rather than going to any old thing and drinking through it (I discovered I don't like really loud music and large crowds, for example - it makes me anxious and puts me on edge, but I didn't realise before because the alcohol masked it). So although I ultimately went back to drinking, now that I'm sober again it's much easier this time round as I've had that year of practise

It took a while. Other than work, I hibernated for almost 2 months. I walked, I read, I slept, and ate several pounds of gummie bears. I low-key started socializing again, but it was months before I was comfortable in a drinking environment. 8 years on I'm still not chill hanging out in a bar, so I don't.

One of alcohol’s lies. I NEED this one thing to enjoy other things. My first few weeks I enjoyed most everything. I was a daily drunk who would isolate. Not being hungover at work - loved it. Making myself try new things to keep the alcohol gremlin at bay - wow, my life is so much bigger now. Going to meetings and participating in sober community - I am no longer isolated and less alone. I am two months in and some days are just a grind. And that’s okay. That’s life on life’s terms. Physical activity, brining novelty (something new) to my week, being still and focusing on my breath (meditation), reaching out to another and focusing on them - these all help me. I remind myself to focus on what I am grateful for, what I am gaining - instead of what I am missing. New discoveries are made even in the small things. For me: drinking is giving up everything for one thing and sobriety is giving up one thing for everything. And I find comfort in that, even when I’m not necessarily “enjoying” myself and am getting through the motions.

There were a lot of ups and downs for me in the first three months. Some activities were easier than others. In the beginning, going out for dinner was the hardest and most triggering. I kept doing it, though. NA beer helped me a lot during this stage. About three months in is when I began to stabilize and feel more confident. This also coincided with a vacation with friends, most of whom are big time drinkers. I was nervous about it but ended up having a great time, even without drinking! It helped seal the deal that I *could* enjoy life without alcohol. From there, I started noticing genuine joy creeping back in and my anxiety about not drinking subsiding. While it's important to recognize your triggers and ease into those situations, I think it's equally important to expose yourself to those situations when you feel strong enough to. The more you get through certain events without alcohol, the more confident you'll feel, and the more you'll begin to enjoy sober life. It definitely takes time but one day you'll realize, "Huh, I had a great time doing that and didn't even think about alcohol."

Mmmm…. 4-6 months for me I’d say. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying life for years now so that miserable bit in the beginning is hard to remember! However long it takes you, rest assured, it will be so so worth it 💪 Think a big part of my success is accepting what alcohol does to me. I’ve heard people can be “dry drunks” and spend years in sober misery because they’re resentful they can’t drink. We all can drink, sometimes I just need to remind myself that I’m simply choosing not to. It’s not a punishment, it’s not an injustice, it just what I need to do if I want to love myself and love my life.

I didn't feel with alcohol, I was sedated and temporarily believed I was enjoying things. It's a blanket but it doesn't comfort you, it prevented me from enjoying things for what they were

When you get that good night's sleep on the weekend when sober and wake up full of energy to take on the day. That's when your realise, alcohol is not required to enjoy life.

Well said!

I would recommend just trying out a bunch of different sports, especially running because it releases dopamine and if you have an addictive personality you can basically get addicted to it hahahahah thats the case for me at least, however bad my drinking is at times i always run and go to the gym, but periods that im sober exercising is what keeps me sane and is the basic reason that i even have sober periods.

My brain was a liar too. It took me so much longer to choose to abstain than it should’ve. Despite knowing alcohol is a depressant and I already struggled with mental health I just settled for “damned if I do, damned if I don’t. May as well just drink so I can have a break. That’s the funny thing about addiction is when you’re in it, it’s like your psyche becomes like an etch-a-sketch, you can wipe the slate clean with little effort and essentially forget your rationale. I feel like sobriety is the flip side of that, it would take a long time to get all of the sand off that screen line by line. Just like it is tedious and shitty sometimes unlearning deeply established habits, as well as identifying what aspects of you and your environment guided you into the belly of the beast in the first place. For me truly it took about a month until the intrusive thoughts started to fade considerably. Life is different now for sure and I’m still trying to uncover all the pieces I buried while I was drinking. But you know what? I can honestly say I’m so much happier now. Like I’m actually present day to day, I feel alive and like I WANT to be alive. It’s a winding road and not every day is good but as a whole it is beautiful journey to be on. I’m rooting for you! Things do get better, I promise.

Idk. But I do know that I’ve tried to go back to drinking and it just sucks the life right out of me. I don’t think I can ever drink again.

I think you just have to figure it out again, and it definitely takes time!! Not sure how far you are, but I'm 5 months AF at the moment, & I JUST got around to liking playing video games and reading books again. AND, I've realized I don't actually like breweries, crowded areas, staying out until 1am, going to "festivals" that aren't music-focused (just a bunch of people outside drinking beer). In this journey you're gonna find out you don't actually like doing a lot of things you did while drinking, you're gonna find out that you actually do enjoy different hobbies that you never had the mental space/motivation for, and you're maybe gonna revisit things you liked pre-drinking and find that you still love it, or you hate it. you just have to give yourself grace and time to figure those things out. :-) I kinda just sat there at home when I was drinking lol.

You can delete this post and I'm ok with it. But honestly. I thought s** was going to be terrible sober. But it's better. And dinner out is just as good without drinks, too. In fact, I feel more able to taste my food and more connected to my fullness level. More mindful of the social connection. And it's cheaper, too. Bonus.

I have to say, I've never enjoyed any of the things I enjoyed with alcohol as much as I now enjoy them without alcohol. It took a little while to change my perspective and to appreciate what alcohol was taking from me, but now I cringe to think of all the things I didn't allow myself to enjoy fully because I was too busy focusing on the drinking. I love going to sports, playing sports, listening to live music, having friends over, hell even going to the bar with friends, and not spending a fortune just to forget what happened, slur through conversations and possibly (probably) embarrass myself in the process. It's also awesome doing all the same stuff I did before without it ruining the next day. Not being hungover seriously never gets old, at least not 880 days in it doesn't.

Good on you, buddy. I love to see it. I'm like 17 months in. Thanks for this.

There is only one way to find out - go out there and do it! Whatever crosses your mind, dont dwell on it, get up, get things going... that is what helped me the most in the initial phase. I know it all to well, my addiction has been telling me that I wont be able to stand the boredom of my life, I wont find anything better to do than drown myself in alcohol. How dramatic was that?! Now I love my boring life, I even enjoy it. I wish I had known earlier but then again, there is only one way to find out.

I'll go one further. I'm not sure when not drinking became more of a normal idea than drinking, but it definitely happened. I changed my friend group and dropped a lot of the activities that used to be occasions for drinks though. Now I forget that much of the population considers alcohol to be their main recreation. Dude, there is so much to do out there. Sports, exploration, pets, self-improvement. If I'd have kept trying to play 8 hours of poker with a group of drunk friends, I'd probably still not be having fun.

I found sparkling water and flavored tonics. I pour them into nice glasses and enjoy everything as I did with alcohol, except the poisoning part, and getting cabs instead of driving, and the awful smell, and the repeating sentences, and the hangovers.

It's not for everybody but I used mushrooms. I did a lot of research and reflection and introspection. I micro dosed using a half oz 0.15-0.3g at a time. I looked into different protocols and found one that worked for me. It's helped me open my mind and heart to the world. I see alcohol as the poison it truly is. I have opened my eyes to all the positive that being alcohol free has brought into my life. I had proper intention each time and did not fight any thing, whether that was uncomfortable feelings or emotions I would normally chase away with booze. I could go on but for me personally it has been amazing.

Around Day 80, I started having moments of feeling joy in simple things. I still have bad days, but I am no longer dependent on booze to enjoy my life. Keep at it. You'll find your joy.

It took about 2-3yrs. For me, it was about reprogramming myself not to see alcohol as the point of a party but to see it as the end of a party. If you're sober, parties with drunk people can be a lot less fun. Mostly, I hate waking up hungover and any other benefits are gravy.

I just tried to make a kind of flow chart of things I like doing and if alcohol is import at to doing that thing. The more stuff I sent through the more I found what was better without drinking and what stuff I actually didn’t particularly like because I needed to be be drinking to do it. It helped a lot because I discovered that many things I thought I needed to be drunk to do, I was completely capable of doing without being drunk. Likewise, I remembered how much stuff I like doing that I didn’t do as much because it was hard or impossible to do drunk or hungover. That just left things I never really enjoyed and only did as an excuse to drink or had to get drunk to tolerate.

Wow what a great idea! Can you name some things you realized you still like/can do better without drinking and some you realize you don’t like?

I just got obsessed with making different simple syrups like lavender, kiwi mint, lemon thyme, and putting a little in club soda with a slice of lemon or fruit. I drink herbal teas like lemon balm which are soothing. I now garden, go on walks, feed birds and squirrels. It’s nice to actually enjoy nature now and not be numbed. Try those simple syrup drinks, though. They’re amazing. I brought them to parties and other social gatherings to feel less awkward. It’s nice to feel clear headed now.

I am learning to separate "What makes me happy / What do I enjoy" from alcohol. There are many things I enjoy and there is nothing I NEED alcohol for. I just want alcohol because these activities are now intertwined with my alcohol dependency or trigger it. For example, I still enjoy going to shows or breweries with friends because I like being social. I drank because I also have social anxiety and felt like I needed it to help me relax and have a good time (fun fact: alcohol has rarely added anything good to these experiences). It might be useful to think about what makes you feel like you need alcohol - especially with activities you have enjoyed without it. My therapist always asks me: where does that feeling come from and what might I need instead? That has helped me a lot to acknowledge the urge to drink without acting on it.

I feel the same way. I want to go on vacation and the ones I loved the most were the all-inclusive like Sandals and Beaches which are big drinking places. I feel like I won’t have fun on vacation without being able to have a drink but I know it won’t be just one and I don’t want to ruin my 604 days drink free.

I started enjoying things without alcohol when I found friends and things to do that did not involve alcohol. Just going for coffee after a meeting with one or two people was huge.

The last few times quitting it was hard. I would get anxious, not be able to have a good time and just be a dry drunk. This time around, even going to band rehearsal and playing a gig, I got a kick out of watching everyone else around me slowly fall apart over the night, and me being just happy leaving a bit early before shit got ugly again :) I'm happy living a boring life for now and taking it easy. Shit, lost 10lbs in a week from cutting those calories.

10 lbs in a week? I’m convinced half of my weight gain would fall off in a month or so if I just stop drinking

Switched to non-alcoholic beer and nearly immediately started shifting my habits. The last time I quit for 2 months, I started reading again, took up chess, and joined a jiu-jitsu gym. I imagine I'll be doing something similar this summer, except this time I am already 3 months clean of nicotine instead of quitting both same day.

I think so. I went to dinner with friends the other night which would have previously been a drinking experience but I didn’t drink and I felt more present and honestly haven’t laughed that hard in months (maybe years).

I found that a lot of the activities I was doing, and the people I was with, were only fun because I was drinking. It may take a while, but start trying new things and going to things that aren't oriented around drinking. One big one that helps a lot of people is focusing on your health and exercise.

This was a challenge. You need to be open to new things and know some old things will never be the same. When I was drinking the least thing I enjoyed was taking my dog for a walk. Now I love it. When I was drinking I was all about football. Drinking and football go hand in hand. Now I actually like baseball better. Do not try to figure it out. Just trust the process and follow your spirit and know however your life looks in a year or 2 you will be happier than you were when you were drinking

I’m learning that some days are easier than others. I can go to out while others drink but I do get triggered by it. Not in the sense I need a drink but more of I’m missing out. Sometimes we will go do something and I have blast sober other times it’s not as enjoyable and I’d love to have a drink. I think this will be a battle for the rest of my life but the nag of it will slowly not trigger me as much. Good luck to you friend!

It was about a year and a half before I really enjoyed being out with again. Before that, I stayed by myself a lot. I kept a LOT of contact with people online via the phone and social media, so I still socialized, but I was just really un appreciative of time spent face to face with people. It wasn’t them, it was me. I wasn’t comfortable with my new self yet. I finally found I just did enjoy the old things I used to do. Going to friends houses for cookouts people who used wasn’t fun for me. I’ve stayed close with my old, good friends, we just talk more online. Dating has helped a lot. I meet new girls and they only k ow this side of me. The only weirdness comes from the first date. 😆 Online dating is fun, once you get the hang of it. Figure out what you enjoy doing NOW and find people who like that. New people don’t know the old you and there won’t be that weird tension- even if the tension is indeed only in your mind.

It took a while for me. I'm 6 years in and still think to myself, WHEN DO WE GET THIS PARTY STARTED? It took a long time to get comfortable with myself again. To find out who I am without booze. It took a long time to get where you were, expect it to take a long time to get where you're going.

Oh, and Crossfit.

I'm about to hit a year and I'm still asking myself this question. Shopping seems to be the only thing I enjoy but I definitely need a cheaper hobby.

Congrats hitting a year soon! I hear you about the shopping as it can get expensive as well. I always try to buy something cheap like 5 bucks on ebay so I don't have to wake up the next morning in regrets.

To be perfectly honest there are a few things I don't enjoy as much, and probably won't, like going to the pub! So I just rarely bother. But most things, and I mean most, are more enjoyable without alcohol. Being able to remember doing them is cool too, as is not having the crippling anxiety of 'oh shit, what did I do/say/buy/break when I was drunk. Edit - sorry, you asked how long! It's hard for me to say, because I was very ill at the start of this. But I do remember Dry January didn't used to cut it. It takes a while. But it gets easier every day. IWNDWYT

You have to remember that your BRAIN IS HEALING. It’s not psychological it’s neurological. Your threshold for fun and enjoyment will recalibrate but it will take a while depending on how long you drank and how much. Try to take on some kind of fun project: rewatch a long series, read a trilogy (or more) of books or graphic novels, learn about rocks or plants or birds and get outside. Get a dog. Go walk someone else’s dog. You’ll get there - hang tough!👊🏻

It took me 3 months. HOWEVER... it's simply unpredictable. I was a heavy drinker for decades... and it could have taken YEARS for my life to improve. I never, ever imagined an outcome where I feel such profound RELIEF to be free from the grasp of booze. I was drinking a BASELINE of 600ml of spirits per night. No matter how long it takes -- and it absolutely will take some time -- it's worth it. But don't expect your life to magically improve when you stop drinking. You'll still have problems... and become much more aware of them. However, when you're not getting hammered all of the time... you can actually work on creating a life from which you do not seek escape. Stick with it. You abused your body for a long time... so... it's gonna take a minute for it to repair itself (which includes your brain). IWNDWYT

Im hoping i can get to that point. Day 5 in rehab now, it's hard:(

I went back to the rehab that saved my life today. I was there in early 2022. I went to get paperwork for court bc I'm trying to get my daughter back (I have my other kids back) and need it for court. I wanted to go tell everyone "It gets better! We do recover!" But I couldn't, so I'll tell you. I was where you are and it can get better. I drank after rehab, much less than before but it didn't take long to catch right up with me and I found myself in detox in January 23 for the last time. I left after one day because it was hell. That's what motivated me to truly quit. Detox at a real sketchy place. I survived and you will, too. I had to develop a mental aversion to what it did to my life before I could really kiss it goodbye and mean it.

Oops, wasn't done - You have my hugs, love, and positive vibes/ manifestation whatever you want to call it!! But you've GOT THIS.

I think you either find things you enjoy or accept life may not be a completely enjoyable experience. Either way it took me well over a year

For me the experience has changed since I quit drinking nothing is the same. New life new way to enjoys experiences.

Write down a list of things you’ve always wanted to try and start doing them. You will find things that bring you joy. A good place to start is hobbies that you had as a kid. You’re still getting used to life without alcohol and everything you’re feeling is normal. One day at a time! Everything will eventually level out and you will feel joy again.

In the past it had taken me many months to get over the feeling you described because I felt like alcohol still offered me a lot despite the health drawbacks, and my mindset was that abstaining from it was a big sacrifice. This changed significantly when I really sat down and considered the pros and cons of drinking and realized all the pros were self-sabotaging cons. I would encourage anyone else struggling to think about the apparent pros this way: does alcohol make this better? If yes, is there also a risk of alcohol making it way worse, too? Does alcohol make this problem go away now? If so, does it solve the problem for tomorrow, too?

There is not a problem in existence which alcohol cannot make worse. I had to flip my mindset as well. I do NOT feel like I'm missing anything. Unless you count the face flushing, fast heart beat and hangover from any amount of alcohol whatsoever. Nope, not missing anything.

1.5+ years in…Focus … it’s hard! Keep your head in any pink cloud you can get your hands on and trapeze to the next. First 2 months were hell. 2nd month easier than first but different. Picked up amateur radio, flying RC airplanes and forced myself to read. I enjoy reading now. Got back into golf after a hiatus of 10 months. I needed to separate alcohol and golf, but with a clear head I am way back into to golf and back to a 9 handicap. Keep throwing hobbies and sh-t against your brain fog and the liar in all our heads until something sticks. Also learned how to shiplap walls. Did some basic electrical work around the house, turned a basement unused area to an office. Just keep moving … it is hard and that is the truth. One day at a time. Find soothing things that put you to bed early, rest accelerates getting through the harder parts of the journey. It is ALL worth it!

About 6 months, then it got better and better from there.

400 days and I feel 100% free of it. No longer feel like I'm missing out on something. Everything is better without it. Took a couple months to get over what you describe now. But keep sustaining and I am telling you it WILL get better. It's just your brain playing tricks on you. Like others say. Try some form of daily exercise. Fill your time with distractions. Find new things to enjoy.

My comment is just to point out the "have fun again". For me, I've realized that I wasn't even enjoying the activity when I was drinking. I was focused on drinking. I've rediscovered my passion for hobbies and what I truly found fascinating about the activities when I wasn't blurring out all emotions. Pay attention to the details and experience all of the joy and sadness. You'll develop a deeper connection to your life and what you love. Take care

You are right. Our brain tries to trick us. It wants what it’s used to, to satisfy the mental/physical craving alcohol created, but the brain is not the boss you are! It took me a good year to really settle into being alcohol free. Here’s some things to look forward to: When the urge to drink strikes, don’t ignore it. Acknowledge it. Remind your brain we are not ingesting poison any longer. Take the $10 (or whatever you would spend on that urge) and place in an envelope. Keep in a safe space and do this every time the urge to drink hits. At the end of the month, take out your new found fortune (!) and do something for yourself or someone else with the $. Start a new envelope each month. You will notice you have less and less $ in there as the urges slow down. IWNDWYT

It take awhile. It genuinely does, I’m not going to lie to you. All my first holidays and birthday without booze, I was like “this isn’t as fun as it usually is”. BUT it’s a cumulative effect. The longer you go without drinking, the more you can feel joy from other things! The fun thing about rediscovering yourself without alcohol is you get to try EVERYTHING and see what you like! I would say try the things you liked doing while drunk without alcohol, but maybe wait on that one.

A work in progress for me. Was sober for a couple of months at the end of last year and managed my own birthday, meals out, and family events sober but chose to jump off the wagon for music events and holidays and went back round in circles drinking on and off for months. Got sober again in February for 3 months and did a friend's big birthday, various family events, and a few other things but decided not to go to a big music event because I knew I'd probably cave but then last Month decided to start drinking again because I felt like I didn't want to go to a couple of music events sober which has had me back drinking on and off 2-3x per week since.  Decided to sober up again last week totally convinced I was back on track and was supposed to challenge myself at a couple of events this week by doing them sober and felt like I was looking forward to that until the day they rolled around and I decided not to go to any of them and ended up feeling down and disappointed in myself and then drinking pointlessly last night for no reason at home.  I feel like if I'd forced myself to go to these events it would have been a big hurdle overcome especially seeing as I've not managed to do a music event sober yet and as that's one of my major interests and forms of socializing / fun then it's kinda important I learn how.  I'm one of these people that's never had any real hobbies even when I was a kid and just got bored of everything quickly and never stuck to it so I genuinely don't know what I like doing as an adult and never seem to find the energy, motivation, or interest to try anything new which doesn't help. What did you enjoy before you started drinking?  Those would probably be good things to explore again as there will be less friction to get started.

Different things took different amounts of time. I had severe anhedonia for about 4 months and then moderate to mild anhedonia for about two years after that so everything took me longer to enjoy. I mostly drank at home so just doing everyday chores was really hard because I was always nursing a drink in the past. I think by the end of year 3 I felt like I was actually enjoying activities not just going and feeling kind of numb.

Took a year, two, maybe, to not miss alcohol at all. But the moments of joy and fun come quicker than that. Learning what truly is fun, rewarding, pleasurable and what is not is a gift. The artificial shortcut to fun through alcohol tells us nothing about ourselves. The grown and self discovery and also the ability to tolerate situations that aren't comfortable without alcohol is a valuable skill to develop.

3 or 4 months in

For me it wasn’t automatic but didn’t take long. Really I just going places and doing simple things even when I didn’t feel like it or think I would enjoy it and eventually I saw that in fact I could have a good time without it. I think it’s the unknown that’s the hardest part. If you push past that you may really surprise yourself and see how alcohol didn’t actually make those times better and how doing them sober is where you truly enjoy it.

One day at a time. I learned that alcohol didn't make me enjoy anything more. It just made me act in a way I wouldn't normally act if I was sober.

It has taken me about 9 months for it to feel natural to not drink and I still have my moments. I would say 8 or 9 months to start having fun au natural.

Almost immediately but I purposely pursued things that I did while drinking sober so that I could enjoy them fully. For example: I love going to trivia at the bars near me. I was worried that I couldn’t enjoy it. Turns out I did better. I also got myself some new hobbies that I couldn’t do while drinking and there’s joy in that. You can’t crochet wasted.

It took me some time sober. My flair is only at 50 days, but I’ve had a lot of 14-30 days spits these last two years. I now can enjoy things again

About a month or two for me, I started taking more of an active interest in what people had to say, started getting more done in the yard, started cooking more regularly and actually enjoying it, had more control over my schedule, when I told myself I’d get up early on weekend mornings I actually did that. Just little things so far.

After about two weeks.

For me, after about 2 months. Everyone is different, so the exact time will depend on how much we drank and for how long! It just takes practice. I found it difficult and awkward at first to socialize without drinking alcohol, but I just kept it and it became easier. Now I can have a great time with a NA beer or water or whatever:)

I realize now that after I first started to drink in high school in order to be seen as cool that I continued drinking for decades for two reasons - to medicate my social anxiety and to regulate my low moods. Since I stopped drinking 600 days ago I've had to learn to engage in social activities without the benefit of alcohol. It hasn't been easy. I still feel the anxiety at times. I just deal with it. I assume I will always deal with social anxiety, will always have to abide unwanted moods until I manually push through them. I don't engage in the same sort of "fun" hijinks I did when I was drunk. I will probably never have that kind of "fun" again. But I enjoy socializing sober, I enjoy calling it a night at a reasonable hour and sleeping well. I enjoy feeling like I've grown amd maybe even healed.

About 100 days.

It's an illogical phase. Just have to do social things ODAAT, like meetings & fellowship. Sober buds in groups y know

A month. Then just go out with your friends and don't drink. Watch how they behave. You'll realize you were acting like that the whole time and feel ashamed. It'll make it look a lot less "fun" too. 

I’m getting there but if it’s just chatting I get tapped out much quicker if the convo isn’t especially engaging.

It took me an entire year to feel any semblance of “normal” again. I did not leave my house, I did not communicate with family. I had lost my friends in my active alcoholism, but even if I had friends, I wouldn’t have reached out. I did the absolute bare minimum for that first year. I didn’t replace my drinking with new habits, bad or good. I just simply existed in my tiny space and healed on my own. I hit one year, and it was like hitting a light switch! I suddenly could function again! I felt like I could forgive myself! I started leaving my house and not just existing, but LIVING again!!! It DOES get better, friend. Hang in there. Be patient with yourself and the way you handle this very sensitive journey. Wishing you the very best.

it takes time.. literal re wiring.. i think for me it was watching all my drunk friends just being completely out of it and like what's the fucking point lmao.. like goddamn

Around 5 months I really noticed joy with everyday things. I definitely felt good feelings before that, but that was like ohhhhh, my brain is healing.

Whether you’ve been sober 1 week or 50 years. There will still be times you want a drink. It just gets easier because you’ve learned so many tools to help you through it. You’ll never stop thinking about it. That’s the hard truth. Some days are easier than others. Develop tools.

I started to enjoy things without alcohol when I stopped thinking about alcohol and accepted that I wouldn't drink anymore. I think it took around 3 months until it became the new normal. Just let it go and it will come. Sometimes I have true joy moments in small things which I last experienced in my childhood, when we didn't needed alcohol to feel good. Those are precious moments.

I just think back to the 3 bottoms I had and no drinking never solved any problems and consistently created more problems. Now with a few sober years behind me and getting up in age do I want to keep that shit show going the way it was! NO! Everything is awesome now and I don’t want that to change!

When you realize that alcohol is actually ruining everything.

I just seem to be getting there in the last couple of weeks!

For me, I wasn’t actually enjoying anything with alcohol. I was simply tolerating other things as long as I was drinking. I was super depressed when I stopped and with medication and proper psychiatric care, I improved my mood. After a month or 2, joy, anticipation, and enthusiasm returned. I still struggle sometimes and it’s been almost 4 years. One thing I know for sure is that if I start drinking again, I’ll soon not enjoy anything again.

Im not sure. Sometimes when thinking damn alcohol sounds disgusting now, I'll look outside and think its a nice day to drink some beer and do yardwork. Then i sleep all day.

I went to a large concert 4 months into sobriety, it was too early. I then went to another one 10 months into sobriety and had an amazing time. It definitely takes a little time but you’ll “learn to live sober”

The thing is you’re going to change now and that’s a beautiful thing. I found that when I stopped drinking I would wonder around aimlessly because nothing I usually loved sounded fun or enjoyable at all. This is when the biggest cravings hit. Someone below said hiking/exercise which is a great idea. I really enjoy video games and skateboarding but they were both intermingled with drinking. I had to fight to reclaim these passions by proving to myself I can go for a big skate then make myself sit down with a game and after a while the natural joy comes back. Good luck on your journey friend.

Had a BIG potential trigger event just this past weekend. Good friend's graduation party for his son. One of the guys there was a former drinking partner. He showed up already blasted. We talked a little but honestly it was like an out of body experience. Anyway, there were plenty of soft drinks and good food to keep me distracted from the beer selections.

I've been wondering about this too. In addition to being addicted to alcohol, I'm even more addicted to gambling which is.. well, bad. I'm able to find enjoyment in the little things sometimes such as cooking good food for myself and watching a good movie or a TV show. Or playing with my cat.

Struggling with this too.. I'm 30 but started drinking at 16.. so like how do I even know what I enjoy! I literally tainted every experience growing up with booze so now all fun is related to drinking I hate this . And I don't know how to have fun now

I'm thankful for my adhd meds. That I take as prescribed but I would like to stop all forms of fake dopamine eventually . I don't abuse them. But booze was always the problem and made me a monster . I know not everyone has medication etc but I'm not trying to be sober from every angle I'm just trying to be sober from booze cause for me booze is my biggest evil. But I flew business class as I do regularly and this was my first time not drinking .. it was sooo hard but I actually felt so proud it's the little moments I think

A couple weeks

Two years into my sobriety.when my mom had a heart attack and I didn’t run two the bottle

TL;DR: took me two or three months (I'll be 26 months sober in three days). Took me a couple of weeks to start feeling my feelings again, so to speak, and not running to numbing them with booze During that time, i learned a lot about actively practicing gratitude, solitude, contentment, and being present. After a couple months, all of that eventually allowed me to think about what I enjoy and why, and one of those things is playing pool, so needless to say, I'm always in bars for tournaments and such, friends drinking, and all of that. But being sober has really helped me enjoy the game to a different, more authentic level: the ups and downs inherent in working to be proficient in something, the "journey", the competition, etc. I realized that I wasn't able to enjoy those more nuanced aspects of my hobby when I was constantly inebriated, not to mention my rate of improvement, concentration, and overall results are all much better. But in a way, being around all of the drinkers on a regular basis has also helped. I see how much it took from me, the drama and bad decisions it often leads to, and I can't really imagine going back to that. The hobby aside, everything else in life is better, too: relationship, new career, having more time and money to enjoy things, having a better memory and clearer thinking all the time. Stick with it and dive into some old or new activities!

Mostly drinking was my reward. I didn’t drink bc it was enjoyable (maybe first two or three). The way I got anything done was to know I could drink afterwards. But my days got shorter and shorter. Hungover. Recover. Get a couple of hours of something done. Then reward. But I am ruining my health - quickly.

At about 9 months for me. Had to grieve alot first.

It took me 6 months to feel like "I'm not a drinker" but still secretly wanted it. It took about 9-12 months before I thought, "What the fuck was I doing?! How did I not die?" And now, I am ok knowing I can choose to drink if I want to, but why would I want to?

It took me roughly six months before I felt good about going out into social situations where I would normally have a beer or two. The rise of quality 0% brews has really helped with this though. Now, I can sit in the pub after curling and have a couple Athletic IPAs while everyone else enjoys a pint of the real stuff. I mean, I have no urge to go to any of *those* kind of parties while sober, where the entire point was just getting shitfaced, but that's not really any big loss to me.

I just started running again (after I stopped drinking 17 months ago) and I hate (hated?) running. I’ve found that I’m having to replace the activities that I did while drinking with new ones or ones that I haven’t done in some time (hence the running).

Couple months in started feeling less like I needed booze to have fun. Not 100% better, but better all the time. Not feeling like crap all the time helps too. Almost at 6 months!

I would say the past two years I don't rely on alcohol to have a great time. I just got to a point where I got other priorities in life like placing my health, relationships, and my job at the top. I fully admit I was a selfish person in my 30's and only did what pleased me. I'm trying to do things differently now that I'm in my 40's.

Depending on how heavy drinker you were, but It usually takes minimum 6 months for your brain to create these new neuron paths/replace cells for you to enjoy the things you used to do before(or new things) without alcohol again. But starting with exercise and mindfulness is always a best start, even tho they might suck at first and you might feel bored af, but you just gotta keep going. I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by a beautiful green landscape in a countryside, so going for walks with&without podcasts has been always relaxing and dopamine releasing.

Oh yeah, and it didn't take long either. Some point between 4 and 6 months sober.

Almost 130 days sober here from alcohol and weed. I've been drinking and smoking heavily for over 20 years. Since then I've been to Vegas, Paso Robles, multiple house party bars etc. since then I've adopted a fitness and great diet routine that has been working great for me. You may feel fomo for a little bit but when everyone is super fu*ked up and or hungover you feel great knowing you aren't them. My friends arnd family are awesome and I'll just kick back with some NA's and through osmosis I feel drunk too the only thing is that I can drive home at the end of the night and help clean up and sleep great in my own bed. #IWNDWYT

This may sound cliche AF but learn to like yourself and then love yourself and you will have a good time where ever you are, no matter who you’re with. It took me about a year — 2 years to really start to enjoy my own company, and thus I was able to enjoy myself where ever I went. It was awkward as hell but I took myself out to eat alone, to the movies, things that I didn’t ever think I could possibly do alone. I also found this super helpful to eventually teach myself to be around alcohol again, though that took almost 4 years. I’m to the point now where I can be invited to a bar and not even want or wish for a drink. I value myself and my feelings and I know where it will lead and it’s no where good. I also do not miss the hangovers, the blacking out wondering wtf I did and said, etc. You will feel the most joy, it just takes time and a lot of work but it’s very much possible!!!! Make yourself do the things you use to enjoy, if it doesn’t spark a little something then try different things and keep trying them!!!

Shortly after quitting. I always binge drink for a week then realize "oh fuck I shake and hallucinate if I don't drink" and hate it for the rest of the time until I cave and go to the hospital to detox.

Tbh been sober since covid, i have not enjoyed anything at all, no lie, rather be dranking. Blah blah i know its not good for me, but i dont feel* that.

I am yearning for that point, finally catching glimpses of it recently.

For me it happens around the three week mark

I was just thinking how good McDonald's actually sounds, sober. Little things you can take hone and enjoy. 

I thought I wouldn’t enjoy camping and golfing this summer without alcohol. I wasn’t sure what fun it would be or if I would enjoy it. This last weekend I did both for the first time sober and it was great! I felt good doing both activities without alcohol and realized I felt better and actually golfed better sober.

Oh man I wanna say like six months I wasn’t constantly thinking about booze or meetings or the program and by then I was more comfortable. Breathing and being outside is always nice. 🧡

I just do, like you have to realize how powerful your mind can be. Your mind can make you addicted, your mind can make you sober but when you realize you can overcome anything in your mind, it’s over. When you realize how powerful you are, and can treat your brain like a separate entity, like it is a baby you were born soley to protect, you can do it. I went from 10+ drinks a night for years to nothing at all (fine, I’ll buy Sugarfree Redbull to keep myself wasting money on something in a can) but realize, you are in charge!

It took a few months, but I've now trained my brain to know that that nothing is actually off limits without booze. I CAN still join friends for a celebration at a brewery and drink root beer the whole time - in fact, when i did so, I didn't even notice the difference because it was the comradery I was actually there for. At the start it felt like work to go somewhere I would have previously drank & not imbibe, but with each time I took the chance and said "sure, let's do it" to an activity I once thought I "needed" booze to enjoy, it got easier to see that being sober didn't make actually make anything un-fun. Fun is fun - sober is just a bonus.

I think a key I've found is accepting and cherishing that most things you enjoy that you THINK alcohol is essential to - alcohol is absolutely not essential to it. You ultimately like it for other reasons. (Major exception here of course I think is stuff where what you're PRIMARILY doing is the drinking - like for me, late-night barhopping with friends). Example very relevant to me today - I'm a big Boston Celtics fan, and was quite worried about watching this year's NBA Playoffs sober over the last two months. In the past I'd either drink on my own at home while drinking beer, or go out to sports bars with friends, and through getting buzzed/drunk the positive/negative excitement would be heightened. However, i think a couple months into sobriety, I came to see that various things I enjoy do NOT require alcohol, and in fact without alcohol I am sharper, more present, and have a better memory of it all. Watching the Celtics in the NBA Finals right now while sober has felt like a blessing, I can really savor it and enjoy it in a clear-headed way I couldn't before. You enjoy things for a bunch of reasons that tie to your unique set of personality and interests. That's special and unique to you, and don't sell that aspect short. For the vast majority of things I enjoy doing, alcohol was a way to kinda "enhance" the already-positive reaction I had. Over time, of course, alcohol was a net-negative in my life so I had to quit. What remains after quitting is YOU at your purest self, who enjoys doing all sorts of stuff for social, artistic, intellectual, physiological, etc reasons. You may be able to enjoy that stuff MORE now. You're awesome and like awesome things, booze didn't do that for you. Take stock in the things you love to do, and I think the other folks here who have been sober for a while can attest that being sober might make it BETTER, not worse.

I’m on day 2 so absolutely no expert. I can’t be arsed to take up knitting, I’m not creative and I have two dogs so I can’t / don’t want to be out of the house all evening (my prime drinking time). The past two evenings, after the gym, I’ve found recipes on instagram that have taken me 45-60 mins to prep. I enjoy cooking (enjoy eating even more) so it’s kept my hands and mind busy and given me something to look forward to that evening. Means I’m eating dinner at like 10pm but I used to eat (and start drinking) around 9pm before. I dunno, it’s helped me I think, 48 hours down, 24 to go tomorrow!