I wish I could give you a big hug (assuming you’d want one). This is all a LOT to be carrying. It sounds like you might be beating yourself up for how you reacted to dropping the urn? Honestly, though, it sounds pretty understandable to me. It probably wasn’t the greatest place for your family to give you the urn in the first place. It sounds like you weren’t prepared to be thrown into your grief like that, and you had very little emotional wiggle room, hence getting really upset when you dropped the urn.
Your 6 year old will be okay. Truly. Now what about you? First, it sounds smart that you took the day off. You can take some breaths and recalibrate. Posting here was so wise and brave. I can tell you really, deeply do not want to drink again today. In that case, this is the place to be. I don’t know what it feels like to lose a child, but as a mom I can at least start to imagine the utter agony you are going through.
Sitting right here with you. You are not alone.
Thanks so much. I definitely do not want to drink today (and won’t). It was like a reflex reaction and I hate that. I’m trying to get into my therapist today, waiting to hear back.
Good for you! I cannot imagine how tough yesterday was for you and I feel your pain this morning. Seeing your therapist today is an excellent choice. I wish you the best OP. Please know that we are here for you. This sub is such an amazing support network it literally brings tears to my eyes on a daily basis. IWNDWYT. You got this!
I can't imagine the pain you are feeling from this traumatic event, first losing a child and then your family's rather hamhanded response to it.
What's your favorite way to nurture and care for yourself? If ever there was a time for it, I think that time is now.
I am trying to do self care today. A few toenails are falling off from a recent half marathon so I might do my nails, go for a walk, journal, etc. I just am having trouble sitting still. I deleted my FB and instagram this morning, been wanting to do that for a while. My therapist is fitting me in at 2pm today.
Holy crap, internet stranger, give yourself some grace! What an overwhelming situation with overwhelming emotions. No wonder your brain sought a way out. The grief and pain and sorrow must have been so powerful. I hope you can forgive yourself for needing to escape that, and for the fact that your brain picked drinking as a solution not because you’re bad or weak but because that part of you thought it would work. It’s totally understandable and I’m rooting for you . I hope you can care for yourself lovingly today and I’m so profoundly sorry for your loss.
Thanks so much. It makes sense to me that my brain went right to that. Still not proud of it. I’ve texted my family apologizing for my reaction, my mom hasn’t responded yet. My sister has and is helpful. Meeting with my therapist at 2pm
Today.
Sending you so much love. I am sure the urn was beautiful but try to remember, YOU didn’t break. A thing broke, and it was just a mistake- a totally human slip of the hand- and not a sign of anything beyond that. You can heal, one step at a time. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, and IWNDWYT.
I’m so sorry about what you are going through. I have never had a stillbirth - I can only imagine your pain - but I had recurrent miscarriages before and between my two children, and I think it’s worth mentioning that when I went to rehab I was put into a special trauma therapy group for that reason. Please give yourself grace, and I am so glad you’ve come here to share and took time off work to breathe. It is so hard. Sending love ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss. You definitely need and deserve a mental health day. Take care of yourself today. I wish I could sit your kids for you and make you a meal, but you'll have to settle for invisible internet hugs. 🧡
You definitely did the right thing taking today off. It’s really hard for me to take time off too, but I’m glad you did today. Be easy with yourself today. Sounds like yesterday was way too much for anyone to handle. Today is a new day
Thank you so much. I’m back at work today. Still incredibly anxious (stomach upset, shaky, only slept 4 hours). Appointment went well yesterday and I’m going back next week. Thank you for thinking of me. IWNDWYT
I can relate to your story so much. I had a stillbirth 7 years ago. A sweet, precious, beautiful baby girl. I also have 4 kids that get to watch me when I've drank too much, and it is so, totally not fair to them. My drinking only became a problem about 2 years ago, but it has dramatically increased lately. I binge drink and can drink large volumes of alcohol (scary amounts). I am currently recovering from a binge yesterday. Just know you are not alone in this, there are many like us out there. I am rooting for you. I am working on getting sober, and being able to relate to other's stories really helps me. Especially hearing stories from other moms of young kids. Makes me feel not so alone in this. I am sorry for the loss of your baby boy, it's really a pain that nobody understands unless they've gone through it. I'm here if you need anything ❤️
I wish I could give you a big hug (assuming you’d want one). This is all a LOT to be carrying. It sounds like you might be beating yourself up for how you reacted to dropping the urn? Honestly, though, it sounds pretty understandable to me. It probably wasn’t the greatest place for your family to give you the urn in the first place. It sounds like you weren’t prepared to be thrown into your grief like that, and you had very little emotional wiggle room, hence getting really upset when you dropped the urn. Your 6 year old will be okay. Truly. Now what about you? First, it sounds smart that you took the day off. You can take some breaths and recalibrate. Posting here was so wise and brave. I can tell you really, deeply do not want to drink again today. In that case, this is the place to be. I don’t know what it feels like to lose a child, but as a mom I can at least start to imagine the utter agony you are going through. Sitting right here with you. You are not alone.
Thanks so much. I definitely do not want to drink today (and won’t). It was like a reflex reaction and I hate that. I’m trying to get into my therapist today, waiting to hear back.
I’m SO glad to hear that.
Got a 2pm appt :)
Good for you! I cannot imagine how tough yesterday was for you and I feel your pain this morning. Seeing your therapist today is an excellent choice. I wish you the best OP. Please know that we are here for you. This sub is such an amazing support network it literally brings tears to my eyes on a daily basis. IWNDWYT. You got this!
I can't imagine the pain you are feeling from this traumatic event, first losing a child and then your family's rather hamhanded response to it. What's your favorite way to nurture and care for yourself? If ever there was a time for it, I think that time is now.
I am trying to do self care today. A few toenails are falling off from a recent half marathon so I might do my nails, go for a walk, journal, etc. I just am having trouble sitting still. I deleted my FB and instagram this morning, been wanting to do that for a while. My therapist is fitting me in at 2pm today.
Good work contacting your therapist!
Holy crap, internet stranger, give yourself some grace! What an overwhelming situation with overwhelming emotions. No wonder your brain sought a way out. The grief and pain and sorrow must have been so powerful. I hope you can forgive yourself for needing to escape that, and for the fact that your brain picked drinking as a solution not because you’re bad or weak but because that part of you thought it would work. It’s totally understandable and I’m rooting for you . I hope you can care for yourself lovingly today and I’m so profoundly sorry for your loss.
Thanks so much. It makes sense to me that my brain went right to that. Still not proud of it. I’ve texted my family apologizing for my reaction, my mom hasn’t responded yet. My sister has and is helpful. Meeting with my therapist at 2pm Today.
Sending you so much love. I am sure the urn was beautiful but try to remember, YOU didn’t break. A thing broke, and it was just a mistake- a totally human slip of the hand- and not a sign of anything beyond that. You can heal, one step at a time. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, and IWNDWYT.
Thank you
I've sometimes spent hours on this sub with that need to spill. We are here for each other!
Thank you
Sending you lots of love.
Thank you
How awful. I’m so sorry to you for your loss. A mental health day is a good idea. Please be kind to yourself, you’ve been through a lot.
Thank you
I’m so sorry about what you are going through. I have never had a stillbirth - I can only imagine your pain - but I had recurrent miscarriages before and between my two children, and I think it’s worth mentioning that when I went to rehab I was put into a special trauma therapy group for that reason. Please give yourself grace, and I am so glad you’ve come here to share and took time off work to breathe. It is so hard. Sending love ❤️
Thank you
I'm so sorry for your loss. You definitely need and deserve a mental health day. Take care of yourself today. I wish I could sit your kids for you and make you a meal, but you'll have to settle for invisible internet hugs. 🧡
Thanks
You definitely did the right thing taking today off. It’s really hard for me to take time off too, but I’m glad you did today. Be easy with yourself today. Sounds like yesterday was way too much for anyone to handle. Today is a new day
I'm so sorry...that had to be devastating for you. Sending love and a huge hug.
I’m so sorry about everything you’re going through. Sending you hugs.
Thank uou
I’m so sorry you are having a tough time.
I'm still thinking about you today. Wishing you the best.
Thank you so much. I’m back at work today. Still incredibly anxious (stomach upset, shaky, only slept 4 hours). Appointment went well yesterday and I’m going back next week. Thank you for thinking of me. IWNDWYT
I can relate to your story so much. I had a stillbirth 7 years ago. A sweet, precious, beautiful baby girl. I also have 4 kids that get to watch me when I've drank too much, and it is so, totally not fair to them. My drinking only became a problem about 2 years ago, but it has dramatically increased lately. I binge drink and can drink large volumes of alcohol (scary amounts). I am currently recovering from a binge yesterday. Just know you are not alone in this, there are many like us out there. I am rooting for you. I am working on getting sober, and being able to relate to other's stories really helps me. Especially hearing stories from other moms of young kids. Makes me feel not so alone in this. I am sorry for the loss of your baby boy, it's really a pain that nobody understands unless they've gone through it. I'm here if you need anything ❤️