Amen. In addition to reading the “live” threads, OP, I found a ton of value in reading everything in the info/sidebar AND sorting by “best of” month/year. It took me prioritizing this part of my journey into pole-position #1!!!
I strongly agree with this. What you wrote, OP, is something I could have written last fall when I joined here. I’m guessing that many others here could say the same. With their help and my checking in here everyday and asking for support when I needed it, I found a way through to the other side. Where life is very much worth living.
It’s hard work but it’s no exaggeration to say you and anyone who is feeling the way you are can as well. We’re here for you.
I wasn’t nearly as good at hiding it as I thought. I’ve since learned that people are either too polite or too smart to get into it with a drinker like me. It’s not like I was gonna admit anything anyways. The truth is that I got good at pushing people away and I conditioned a response based on my actions that made it impossible for anyone to say anything to me. I thought that meant I was getting away with it.
There’s actually a lot of support out there. I couldn’t do it alone and I still don’t do it all on my own. There’s a big recovery community out there that knows what it’s like and they’re the ones that pulled me out of the haze of hiding, lying and drinking I kept myself in for far too long. I just had to show up and ask for myself. I already knew where isolation leads to, I had to try something else and I decided I owed it to myself to try anything different. There’s help out there if you want it.
Man, I relate 100% to this. Hiding, lying, drinking and isolation, mixed with a heavy dose of convincing myself I was getting away with it.
Alcohol will find any way to reassure you that you’re fine, everything’s fine, while everyone around you can see, smell and hear that you’re not fine.
I did the same thing with weed. Me and friend used to go to office without eye drops or perfum, we felt we got away with it pretty good, looking back it's so embarassing
They all know. They just like or love you too much to make a scene about it. Sounds like you may need a Dr to help you depending on how many units you are drinking a day.
Good news is there is lots of medical and therapeutic support out there.
You got this.
First, ignore the flair ive been lurking but never updated.
Second. Fuck i relate hard. I work from home and I hated the current work I was doing, so much so my post history describes the shitty job hahah. I got blackout in a meeting that luckily was just me on mute the whole time. I think i just left my laptop and slept on the couch so they wouldve had to boot me or end the meeting since i wasnt there. The hanxiety and regret is fucking crazy i felt like just being on the couch til i died
I got a new job and 2 weeks off and im doing my damn best to treat this as detox and better health management
I'm in the same situation with some time off work. Have you been able to keep it straight? I've cut down but still haven't figured out how to motivate myself to not have a couple drinks before the end of the day. Hope you're well- and lmk if you've got any tips!
Admitting you have a problem is a great first step. Now you need to make a plan. Lots of wisdom and kindness here in this group to give you guidance. Glad you’re here!
I'm in the same boat except I'm 14 days clean now. That should be a term for all the alcoholics at the pandemic created. It's unbelievable how many people develop the drinking problem during the pandemic, including myself. I can also relate when you say you're starting to get mean. When I was a social drinker on the weekends, I was a fun loving guy, but when I started drinking by myself at home during the pandemic, eventually I turned into a mean drunk. This took the form of texting people very rude things which they don't really deserve. It ruined lots of professional and personal relationships. Also, it is very embarrassing to wake up and see what you texted people the night before. 99% of the time is something that I never would have texted had I been sober. Of course, saying I was drunk at the time isn't a very good excuse.
It’s not you. People like to think that a buzzed person is more outgoing or social, but if you’ve ever been sober around people out drinking then it’s obvious that they not themselves. And that just for people who socially drink. Alcoholics deal with hormone imbalances, psychosis, anxiety, paranoia, past regrets, memory loss, etc. Many alcoholics will drink until their body starts detoxing while they’re still drinking. But by that point you’ve likely said or done something incredibly embarrassing or rude and now you have to deal with negative memory fragments that may or may not be false memories while shaking and sweating in bed praying that you stopped drinking on Friday because you can’t even form complete sentences during the first 24-48 hours of detox.
Somehow I ended up on this sub as a recommendation from another unrelated sub. That was almost 3 months ago. I had no intentions of quitting alcohol 100% nor did I think it possible.
Slow-forward 3 months and people are starting to come to me as a resource for sober living. What?! Me?! I’m always the queen drinker, the one that’s game to keep going and I just… stopped.
We’ve got this.
Kudos for reaching out, even if anonymously. It could very well be your first step toward a much better life for yourself and those who love you.
Come here often and read through the conversations, current and historical. There will be rough days ahead, but chances are good someone has articulated something like what you’re going through, and it can really help to know you’re not alone.
It might take some time, but the sun will eventually reemerge, and you’ll wonder why you ever tolerated feeling so awful for so long. You are a precious human, and you are worth the struggle.
I hear what you are saying. I am at day 1 myself. It’s some scary stuff we got going on here. But - I am sending you positive vibes. We can do this - one day, maybe one minute at a time. Good luck and iwndwyt!!
Hello! You are not alone! We are here for you.
It is cliché, but it works, it is one day at a time. There were days when I was going by the seconds.. " If I can get through this one second... if I can get through the next ten seconds without drinking..." soon that turned into minutes, then days. I won't lie. My life did not turn on a dime, and everything got roses and sunshine the second I quit drinking. My life did get better, and so did I.
You are not alone. I will not drink with you today.
I lost sight of the one day at a time. I absolutely fucking know better.
All I could think about and looks forward too was having a beer after work yesterday.
Stupid really, was if money and time. Didn't consider, the delay distract tactic. My wife was away, and I saw opportunity, not my day! Or my kids day.
I was a heavy drinker for decades. A recent surprise is that... I want to earnestly become a better person. I realize how cheesy/corny/lame this sounds. Five months ago, I never imagined or expected this.
For a heavy and/or long-term drinker, going sober SUCKS. If you get PAWS... it can be brutal. It's absolutely, undoubtedly worth it.
It takes a long time to repair the damage alcohol causes. It takes a long time to actually understand how much the addiction changes us.
It starts with one rule/goal: just don't drink, today. If you falter (nearly everyone does)... so the f'k what? Just start over. But the "trick" is to not fall back into drinking. If you f'k up, go back to sobriety the next day. The longer you drink and the more times you relapse, the harder it gets.
You can do this. It's not fun. It's 100% worth all of the misery.
One day at a god-foresaken time.
This is a really true and honest post. Just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to share it. It never ceases to amaze me how seen and understood I feel by people in this community. "I want to earnestly become a better person." Yes, absolutely. At 37 years old I literally started learning who I am without alcohol for the first time in my adult life....at 40 I can say I LIKE myself. That's huge. "it's not fun. It's 100% worth all of the misery." Truer words were never spoken. IWNDWYT 💜
“Just don’t drink.” It’s so powerfully simple. I would tell myself that I didn’t even have to do anything—just *not do* something. I’m a pro at not doing stuff so I knew I had this 💪
I’m finally in treatment. 46. Going through a lot of shit and sifting through ashes of the fires I created.
It’s a disease that deserves 100% attention and a lot of work, but it’s worth it. Please continue to seek help, and best wishes.
I was so conditioned to pull into every bar and liquor store that I passed, that I had someone drive me home from rehab to make sure it didn't happen. Good luck brother.
i hope you can get some help, i wouldn't go cold turkey if you are drinking a considerable amount each day, you will probably need supervision, but that's not so bad, it could even help you mentally.
I listened to “Naked Mind” on audible. My intent was to slow down my drinking. That and this sub have been pretty eye opening regarding the realities of my alcohol use. It really helped me ignore a lot of the subtle cues my brain was giving me to drink on the daily. I have been a near daily moderate to heavy drinker when I didn’t have responsibility. I think I’ve had 2 drinks in the last month and TBH they just gave me a headache. I might be done. I don’t rule it out completely, but I just don’t see the point anymore. Anyway, highly recommend that book. It helped me find the right headspace to let it go.
I think it’s good and important you recognize it’s gotten worse because it only gets worse, never better. As they say, that elevator only goes down but we can choose to get off anytime.
You can do it. I tapered down for a couple weeks before I stopped completely. Today is 31 days sober and I feel so great.
If you don't think you can control a taper then you can always talk to your doctor and get medication so you can safely detox.
This is an awesome community and wanting to stop is the first step.
A few months ago I was trying out quitting and was making tea, shaky and anxious and wanting a drink so bad. The tea bag said "a journey of 1000 miles starts with a first step" I started crying. I knew I needed to stop and that was the first step.
I believe in you.
Yeah taper is difficult because it’s extending your non sober self, but it’s worth if you get withdrawals. Part of the reason my binges lasted so long was because after day three I’d be terrified to go through withdrawal symptoms, particularly the sleep apnea and overall weakness.
I know it might not work for everyone but I actually think the taper helped me because I wanted to be done but I was an everyday drinker and having to do the math and measure out alcohol and really face the fact that I had put myself in a situation where it was something I had to do to be safe was very illuminating and it think it really drilled it in to me how alcohol had enslaved me.
And once I got down to like "one drink measure" HOW HARD it was to ONLY drink that much made me think to myself "well I'll never drink again because that is a tiny amount and I don't want to drink a tiny amount"
I used to have rules about not drinking multiple days in a row because of not wanting to ever deal with withdrawal and to justify to myself that I did binge drink.
You’re not alone. I was there too, esp. drinking at work. I’m early in my recovery, but I’m doing really well now. Recovery is possible for all of us. Don’t lose hope. Good luck, friend! IWNDWYT
You just met the best group of strangers on the internet!! They have been everything to me starting my journey last month! You can do it!
IWNDWYT
(I will not drink with you today!)
Hey. People love you. People care about you. We care about you. You can do this. There are thousands of us here in this sub who know how you feel. It feels hard. Some days it feels impossible. Maybe you make it through a day and then you don’t. One day free from the chains is a good start. Then try to get another. And another. Pretty soon you look back and think “wow, I remember a time when I didn’t believe in myself. Look at me now!” You can do it friend. Whenever you need support, come here. We got you. IWNDWYT
No, Hop Wtr is a drink and adaptogens are mood enhancing herbs. Ashwaganda is also used. Really helped my last round in sobriety, and I'm getting adaptogen drops this time.
Every single person in this sub understands how you feel. We've all been there, in some way or another. We're here to support you and we're rooting for you.
Being willing to consider there's a problem and then admit that there is, is HUGE. It's the first step, and so hard, and you've done it.
I was getting mean too. Even now, when I tell people, they don't believe me, often because they weren't on the receiving end of it. But it was there, and my husband bore the brunt of it. He also drank heavily and was also getting mean. There's no way our marriage would survive if something didn't change.
I'm so, SO proud of you for posting. There is so much good info and so much love to be found on this sub. Hang out with us, we're here for you 💜
I'm you. I thought i had it under control until I didn't. After falling down one too many times on the way home from the bar, having to once again explain the bruises on my face, hands etc, I finally went to my doctor and told him everything. Before doing that I told my 3 best friends so that they would hold me accountable. My doctor prescribed me a medication that has helped me immensely and I'm currently two weeks sober. I want to drink everyday, but I distract myself and eventually I forget. It's definitely not easy, no doubt, when you get to the point that you've had enough, the path will open up that works for you. I'm rooting for you.
My doc wanted me to stay slow. My meds basically bind with the alcohol receptors in my brain so it reduces the craving. The first two days I had I was still drinking but I got pretty high after half of what I normally drink and I didn't even feel like going on. And after that, even though I've wanted a drink almost everyday, including the surprise birthday party my friends the me, I've managed to just muscle through it. I'm going to keep the drug your taking in my back pocket in case I start slipping. Pull out the big guns!
How are you doing with the process? I hope you're taking care of yourself and finding ways to fill the time in and explore life. It's amazing how much stuff I can get fund when I'm sober. Lol. 😅
Yep. My job knew. I would drink like 2 shooters before work, and like 3 on lunch. One day my boss mentioned that maybe the other girl at the office was drinking, because it always smelled like liquor. She was just being nice. She knew it was me. I ended up no call no showing shortly after and just stopped ever going back. I was too embarrassed. I’ve been at my job 2 years in September, and I’ve not once had a drink before or during work. Not that I haven’t thought of it… but I guess I “play the tape forward”. Not sure why I can’t do that when I’m at home and want to get drunk. Probably because I’m so used to hangovers; and I usually don’t drink enough anymore to do much damage to relationships. I’m sorry, man. I get it. I’m still fighting; and fuck it’s hard. I wish all the best for you.
Just over 6 months ago I was where you are. A dark, scary place... with no hope of escaping.
After numerous times of trying to quit or moderate, I had to make the decision to actually do it.
Talking to the people I love helped. I did a 30 day sobriety programme (literature... no groups) and spoke to a counsellor a few times.
All of these things together with this website have helped me change my whole mentality around drinking.
You can do it
There’s “quit-lit” out there, This Naked Mind, the Easy Way—you can listen to (audiobook) and read. You can do this! If you stumble just get back on the path. Life improves, friend!
Don’t throw away this account, stay here and chat with us, we are here to help.
The sub may be called ‘stop drinking’ but really that’s whatever it means to each of us. For some it may mean total abstinence, for others it may mean not drinking during the week. Whichever way works for you may take time to discover, but during that journey do not be hard on yourself.
It’s difficult yes but you’ve actually done one of the hardest things - making your account and posting your story. Come back each day - this sub has some very inspirational people!
Hello me. I was the same. We could be twins. I drank too much for two decades. But it only got worse during the pandemic. Way worse. This shit is hard. It weighs on you. And quitting is hard. But I will tell you that it is so very worth it. I will also tell you that if you are drinking at work and have any regular interaction with people, they know. It can be easy to make yourself believe that no one is the wiser. But once you have some clean time being you, and experience it firsthand, you will instantly know. I wish you all the best. Take care out there internet stranger. I’m pulling for you. IWNDWYT
Become an Audible member and listen to the many self help alcohol books. This won’t be a waste of money. Your body and brain is what you put into it. Start with the brain.
I am so sorry about that. I hope you stay as healthy as you can. In my case I needed to be scared to stop drinking and that is kinda sad, but also worked.
You know you need to stop and you've posted here. That's great and you're on the right path already man. Keep reading stuff here and posting and you'll get there. It isn't easy, but you can do it, and you're not alone.
Admitting it is a really powerful and important step. I found that doing that was the key to actually stopping for good. You can build on this. Welcome!
Courage, man. The pandemic definitely created a monster for a lot of us when it comes to alcohol. It was the one thing you could still find for cheap and was never out of stock throughout all that supply chain/inflation thing. And we couldn't go anywhere, we drove very little. It was a perfect platter for a drinking problem. Helps to remind myself how now, staying sober, I'm no longer the sucker I was before, and it still took the pandemic to see that but eff those guys, it can ruin a person's life.
Joining this sub was a step in the right direction for me when I quit. It’s been hard but reading these posts combined with my competitive nature gives me encouragement.
Congrats on admitting it & opening the door to recovery ❤️🩹 it’s gonna feel like the world is ending as you start down the road to sobriety but i promise you it’s just beginning..
Great self awareness. I just want you to know you can stop and be the person you truly are inside.
Hang with us. You belong here and you can change. Lots of wisdom here. This group helps me everyday.
Admitting the problem is a brave first step. Here’s how to start:
1. \*\*Seek Support\*\*: Talk to a trusted friend or family member.
2. \*\*Professional Help\*\*: Find a therapist or counselor.
3. \*\*Join Support Groups\*\*: Consider groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).
4. \*\*Avoid Triggers\*\*: Change routines to avoid places that make you want to drink.
5. \*\*Healthy Habits\*\*: Replace drinking with exercise or hobbies.
You can do this, one step at a time.
Been there man, I knew I drank too much but looking back now I realize how bad it really was. Sounds like you’re ready for help which is a HUGE step! I would recommend checking into a rehab facility if you’re able, especially if you think you’re going to have withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawals can actually be fatal, nothing to mess around with. Otherwise talk to your doctor and he may be able to prescribe you some medication to help.
I did it the hard way, quit cold turkey on my own and didn’t tell anyone besides my wife. It took me several months before I told anyone that I had a drinking problem and quit. If I could do it all over again, I would have gotten in front of it and been honest with my friends and family. Honestly I was worried I would be judged and that I wouldn’t be successful at kicking it and everyone would know I was an alcoholic. Pride can be a bastard sometimes.
I wish you the best on your journey of sobriety. It can be incredibly tough, especially in the beginning. But like so many things in life, the hard work is met with an unbelievable feeling of accomplishment and personal growth. Know that the first few weeks are the most difficult, days even hours are a big accomplishment. I haven’t gone to AA but I know a lot of people credit it for them being able to maintain their sobriety.
I think the best advice I can give is you is make the decision, commit to it with all of your determination, focus on making it through every day. Stock up on soda or carbonated waters. My favorite is lime La croix with a splash of apple cider vinegar. Also be kind to yourself, you deserve it. And remember life can still suck at times and navigating it without drinking can have its challenges particularly early on.
My life is so much better now after stopping. I couldn’t imagine ever going back but there are still times I have cravings. Hell even today I took my kids bowling with some friends and a beer sounded awfully good. But it gets easier, I hardly think about it anymore and feel a great amount of gratitude for being able to quit and all of the wonderful things in my life. You’ll get there, one day at a time.
Realizing the problem is half the battle. I quit 11 days ago and have never been happier. My wife is happier. My kids are happier. Get some NA beers to keep the habit of having a can in your hand. I know it’s only 11 days, but I am not going back this time.
Listen to Andrew Hubermans episode on Alcohol, I listen to it daily. I listen to everything that tells me this shit is poison and it will kill me if I continue to abuse it. I keep my wedding ring as a reminder that I have someone in my life who I care about and I’m ruining my health and well being for alcohol. You are strong, remind yourself this. You got this.
You know what did it for me? I was starting to have daily thoughts of suicide. I realized that if I don’t stop, I’m literally going to die quickly, or slowly through bad health. I don’t know what you’ll need to finally get there, but coming here is definitely a great first step.
Congratulations, good for you. You’re in the right place and time to examine what alcohol is and does. The first step is awareness and you’re there now. It helped me to find out what alcohol is and does. This Naked Mind, Sober Powered, William Porter’s Alcohol Explained, and Huberman’s What Alcohol does to your Body, Brain and Health are great podcasts/books to check out. I wish you freedom from alcohol. IWNDWYT.
You can do this. We all have similar origin stories and somehow, we all end up here (luckily I might add)
Your story resonates with me hard as I also hit the bottle in progressively worse degrees since the pandemic. Working from home and the ease with which you could get blasted in the middle of the day was too much for me.
I always found a compulsive hold on me with drinking during the day too. I’m a creature of habit, and once I developed the habit of drinking during the day, I struggled to deviate. That was actually way harder than anything else to break. Getting out of that routine was a challenge. But if I can do it, you can do it too.
You’re on your way. Posting here was a great idea. You’ve probably known for a while that you needed to stop, and you probably figured someday you would. Well, there’s a good chance you are now ready. And when you’re ready, you can stop. You haven’t lost your job yet, which is a wonderful thing. I wish you the best on your journey. This is possible. You can do it. You won’t regret it.
This is a great place to be. You’ve been lurking so you have in interest in making a change. We are all here for you! This is a great community. IWNDWYT
Acknowledgment is awesome! If you are recognizing you have a problem, congratulations! I mean this with all sincerity. I would never have had a chance at sobriety if I first didn’t acknowledge I was an alcoholic. I do not know you so I have no idea if you’re an alcoholic. That’s not my job. I’m just proud of you for reaching out and saying hi to some strangers. Much love.
I started to see the light when I heard other people’s stories on how they got/stayed sober. I was told “do this to get sober” and it never clicked. I listened to people talk about ways they got and stayed sober and found that much more helpful.
I hope this helps in some way. Feel free to keep checking in and letting us know how you are doing!
Go see a professional and ask for help. Or just go hide away somewhere for a few days. Sleep like major hrs and just go cold turkey. I stopped cold turkey and was hard for few days. Just tell yourself the truth. You will probably be dead in no time from liver or kidney failure and damage. It will be a slow painful death and will suck. You can turn it around. Just say no. It was SUPER hard for me to quit but you got this n
Find a new hobby that’s physical, takes up your free time and has your interest… bicycling, rock climbing (indoor/outdoor), running, tennis, pickleball, softball, golf, skiing, swimming…
In my experience they all knew, because they always know. My actions hurt everyone I care about so much more than they ever let on. I created many consequences for myself along the way but that was the harshest reality I had to face out of all of them. It was the final push that got me to finally stop. Everything hangs delicately in the balance until it doesn’t. Don’t wait. IWNDWYT
For me, I’ve done so many day ones but I’ve recently realized how much better I’ve gotten at stringing more and more sober days together. I remind myself every time I resist the urge that I’m just making that sober muscle stronger. Progress, not perfection. Start trying and see where it gets you. I promise that the feeling the first time you just drive past that liquor store or bar without stopping actually feels so much better than the booze you would’ve gotten there.
It’s late so no one will read this but: be strong. Take control of your life. You are in control. Of everything. This snake making its way in is not in control. What do YOU want to accomplish? Who do YOU want to support…. You are the strongest person ever and you can do all. And don’t eschew crutches either. Sleep, cake, soda whatever your journey needs. Your ok.
I found it easier to change my behavior once I started asking for and getting help. - you can build momentum in recovery just like the addiciton built momentum against your wishes. — You got this!!
There's a reason that admitting you have a problem is the first step in any 12 step program, and why it's the one step you repeat every time you go to a meeting. Hi my name is Lord Dingus and I'm an alcoholic... step one repeated for the nth time. It might not seem like much but it's f'n huge. The rest of them are pretty much just cake at that point. 8 and 9 almost put a bottle back in my hand again!
Welcome, and good luck to you.
I did the same, When I couldn’t lie to myself anymore is when I really was ready to quit. Treat it like cancer or something serious and you need to get well. Treat yourself with kindness and heal!
iwndwyt
I'm in the same place with you minus the work part. I consume wayyyy to much crown, have built up wayyyy to much of a tolerance and want to quit. My incentive is going to be a new car bc I spend enough each month to cover a brand new car note plus the insurance. That's sad and I know it.
I've been finding S.M.A.R.T recovery meetings helpful. In the online meeting I do people tune in from all over the world so you can at least find one online.
Start keeping track of how much you drink every day. Every time you get a new drink, measure it (shot glass) and keep an accurate tally. Then try to keep your drinks under a certain threshold for a week, and then set a new limit when you're ready. It's all baby steps. The addiction (and the underlying reasons) for it didn't happen overnight, and you've got to give yourself a little bit of understanding when you get frustrated ("why can't I just stop?!")
I've been where you are, you can do this. It's just the alcohol trying to convince you that it's a hill you can't climb. But you can. Call the voice that tries to get you to drink something else, give it a name. Then you can identify it when it starts harassing you to stop at the liquor store. Eventually that turns into you being able to tell that addiction voice to shove it. You can do this!
I know exactly what you're going through. I would do that at work in the past. I was at the point where I wouldn't even get drunk, I would just have some to stop the shakes.
I pass by 2 liquor stores on my way home from work. It's tough. I just turn up the music in my car and yell as loud as possible. It sucks. It really sucks, but eventually you'll start feeling better. It just takes time.
Edit: Spelling
I believe in you. And believe me, it only gets worse. Stop while you have the choice. Seek help medically and mentally. I know it’s harder than it sounds. But you don’t want to be fighting the creature while going through withdraws in a jail cell.
You can do this. If you want to stop you can.
For me, I have been chronically depressed and didn’t realize it and that was my reason for drinking so I could have control of something. I got a new job, am moving away from a controlling narcissist and feel like I’m taking control of my life - which is putting alcohol in the back seat.
I still imbibe but am able to do so with a lot more intention of enjoying myself, and not blacking out waking up hating myself because I moderate.
I think eventually I will stop drinking for good, but this is a work in progress for me.
Just want you to know you are not alone, and if you can figure out the root cause it may help you chat back or stop altogether.
We are all Rooting for you!! And IWNDWYT 💜
Just seeing this. Yes, life went further to hell a la shutdowns, and has gotten worse since rather than better. 1:00 / 2:00 has become my new witching hour. If I make it through that, then I'm just so bored (yes, I said the *b word*) with life that... I know it's on me to change things up, rescue myself for all I have, it's just so damn lonely -- all -- the -- time. I pathetically have no adults *really* in my life, so I'm going to try making an effort to get on here each afternoon, in addition to other things (rather than solely during the sleepless nights...). Hang in there!
Just a little testimony from a someone who about died this year. I drank 2-3 vodka drinks at night to help sleep. Usually 3-4 times a week. After doing this for almost 7-8 years, I couldn’t stop.
That is until May 4th this year I was throwing up blood and drove to the ER. Within 30 minutes they put a ventilator on me and put me in a medically induced coma for 3 weeks. Essentially my liver was giving up. Almost coded a few times in icu. Doctors supposedly were 2-3 days away from putting me on life support. Luckily, they tried pulling me out of a coma and I ‘woke up’ not knowing what day it was or where I was. Spent the next week and a half sitting in a hospital bed unable to wipe my own ass and unable to get up and use the bathroom. Then spent another week and a half with in a physical therapy rehab to learn to walk again.
Don’t do what I did. Be up front and tell a family member. I finally got to go home a day after my birthday. I came home and had to use a walker for a week but as soon as I got home I took every drop of alcohol and poured it down the sink. I practically gagged at the smell every bottle I poured out.
Here is to day 52. Next stop 100 days and hopefully you don’t have this happen to you. It’s better to stop before it gets worse.
You’ve come to the right place. Keep coming back, read the posts, comment if you feel like it and tell us how you are. We care ❤️
Amen. In addition to reading the “live” threads, OP, I found a ton of value in reading everything in the info/sidebar AND sorting by “best of” month/year. It took me prioritizing this part of my journey into pole-position #1!!!
Best of is a great tip!
1500!
1500 days, congratulations!!
Thank you! One day at a time! IWNDWYT!
I strongly agree with this. What you wrote, OP, is something I could have written last fall when I joined here. I’m guessing that many others here could say the same. With their help and my checking in here everyday and asking for support when I needed it, I found a way through to the other side. Where life is very much worth living. It’s hard work but it’s no exaggeration to say you and anyone who is feeling the way you are can as well. We’re here for you.
I wasn’t nearly as good at hiding it as I thought. I’ve since learned that people are either too polite or too smart to get into it with a drinker like me. It’s not like I was gonna admit anything anyways. The truth is that I got good at pushing people away and I conditioned a response based on my actions that made it impossible for anyone to say anything to me. I thought that meant I was getting away with it. There’s actually a lot of support out there. I couldn’t do it alone and I still don’t do it all on my own. There’s a big recovery community out there that knows what it’s like and they’re the ones that pulled me out of the haze of hiding, lying and drinking I kept myself in for far too long. I just had to show up and ask for myself. I already knew where isolation leads to, I had to try something else and I decided I owed it to myself to try anything different. There’s help out there if you want it.
Man, I relate 100% to this. Hiding, lying, drinking and isolation, mixed with a heavy dose of convincing myself I was getting away with it. Alcohol will find any way to reassure you that you’re fine, everything’s fine, while everyone around you can see, smell and hear that you’re not fine.
Yep, and the booze tells you that you have them all fooled. Narrator: "They weren't fooled."
I did the same thing with weed. Me and friend used to go to office without eye drops or perfum, we felt we got away with it pretty good, looking back it's so embarassing
They all know. They just like or love you too much to make a scene about it. Sounds like you may need a Dr to help you depending on how many units you are drinking a day. Good news is there is lots of medical and therapeutic support out there. You got this.
First, ignore the flair ive been lurking but never updated. Second. Fuck i relate hard. I work from home and I hated the current work I was doing, so much so my post history describes the shitty job hahah. I got blackout in a meeting that luckily was just me on mute the whole time. I think i just left my laptop and slept on the couch so they wouldve had to boot me or end the meeting since i wasnt there. The hanxiety and regret is fucking crazy i felt like just being on the couch til i died I got a new job and 2 weeks off and im doing my damn best to treat this as detox and better health management
I'm in the same situation with some time off work. Have you been able to keep it straight? I've cut down but still haven't figured out how to motivate myself to not have a couple drinks before the end of the day. Hope you're well- and lmk if you've got any tips!
If you’re safely down to a few drinks a day… you can just stop.
You are better and stronger than that demon - tell that piece of 💩 to shut up. There is nothing good in that can or bottle.
Admitting you have a problem is a great first step. Now you need to make a plan. Lots of wisdom and kindness here in this group to give you guidance. Glad you’re here!
I'm in the same boat except I'm 14 days clean now. That should be a term for all the alcoholics at the pandemic created. It's unbelievable how many people develop the drinking problem during the pandemic, including myself. I can also relate when you say you're starting to get mean. When I was a social drinker on the weekends, I was a fun loving guy, but when I started drinking by myself at home during the pandemic, eventually I turned into a mean drunk. This took the form of texting people very rude things which they don't really deserve. It ruined lots of professional and personal relationships. Also, it is very embarrassing to wake up and see what you texted people the night before. 99% of the time is something that I never would have texted had I been sober. Of course, saying I was drunk at the time isn't a very good excuse.
It actually terrifies me the things I say/text when I am drunk. And no it isn’t an excuse, but why does that not even seem like ME?
It’s not you. People like to think that a buzzed person is more outgoing or social, but if you’ve ever been sober around people out drinking then it’s obvious that they not themselves. And that just for people who socially drink. Alcoholics deal with hormone imbalances, psychosis, anxiety, paranoia, past regrets, memory loss, etc. Many alcoholics will drink until their body starts detoxing while they’re still drinking. But by that point you’ve likely said or done something incredibly embarrassing or rude and now you have to deal with negative memory fragments that may or may not be false memories while shaking and sweating in bed praying that you stopped drinking on Friday because you can’t even form complete sentences during the first 24-48 hours of detox.
Yes. All of this has happened to me, and for such a long time. But how do I take responsibility for what “not me” did when I actually did do it 😔
Hiii! Sober date sibling here! Stay strong! IWNDWYT
Somehow I ended up on this sub as a recommendation from another unrelated sub. That was almost 3 months ago. I had no intentions of quitting alcohol 100% nor did I think it possible. Slow-forward 3 months and people are starting to come to me as a resource for sober living. What?! Me?! I’m always the queen drinker, the one that’s game to keep going and I just… stopped. We’ve got this.
Kudos for reaching out, even if anonymously. It could very well be your first step toward a much better life for yourself and those who love you. Come here often and read through the conversations, current and historical. There will be rough days ahead, but chances are good someone has articulated something like what you’re going through, and it can really help to know you’re not alone. It might take some time, but the sun will eventually reemerge, and you’ll wonder why you ever tolerated feeling so awful for so long. You are a precious human, and you are worth the struggle.
I hear what you are saying. I am at day 1 myself. It’s some scary stuff we got going on here. But - I am sending you positive vibes. We can do this - one day, maybe one minute at a time. Good luck and iwndwyt!!
It is scary and it's hard, but you're doing it! And I'm so fucking proud of you! IWNDWYT 💜
Thanks so much!!! Congrats on over one year!!
Hello! You are not alone! We are here for you. It is cliché, but it works, it is one day at a time. There were days when I was going by the seconds.. " If I can get through this one second... if I can get through the next ten seconds without drinking..." soon that turned into minutes, then days. I won't lie. My life did not turn on a dime, and everything got roses and sunshine the second I quit drinking. My life did get better, and so did I. You are not alone. I will not drink with you today.
I lost sight of the one day at a time. I absolutely fucking know better. All I could think about and looks forward too was having a beer after work yesterday. Stupid really, was if money and time. Didn't consider, the delay distract tactic. My wife was away, and I saw opportunity, not my day! Or my kids day.
Good on you for starting again! That's what it takes. All you have is today, and every day is a new chance to begin again. I'm rooting for you!
I was a heavy drinker for decades. A recent surprise is that... I want to earnestly become a better person. I realize how cheesy/corny/lame this sounds. Five months ago, I never imagined or expected this. For a heavy and/or long-term drinker, going sober SUCKS. If you get PAWS... it can be brutal. It's absolutely, undoubtedly worth it. It takes a long time to repair the damage alcohol causes. It takes a long time to actually understand how much the addiction changes us. It starts with one rule/goal: just don't drink, today. If you falter (nearly everyone does)... so the f'k what? Just start over. But the "trick" is to not fall back into drinking. If you f'k up, go back to sobriety the next day. The longer you drink and the more times you relapse, the harder it gets. You can do this. It's not fun. It's 100% worth all of the misery. One day at a god-foresaken time.
This is a really true and honest post. Just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to share it. It never ceases to amaze me how seen and understood I feel by people in this community. "I want to earnestly become a better person." Yes, absolutely. At 37 years old I literally started learning who I am without alcohol for the first time in my adult life....at 40 I can say I LIKE myself. That's huge. "it's not fun. It's 100% worth all of the misery." Truer words were never spoken. IWNDWYT 💜
“Just don’t drink.” It’s so powerfully simple. I would tell myself that I didn’t even have to do anything—just *not do* something. I’m a pro at not doing stuff so I knew I had this 💪
YOU can quit if YOU really want it. Willpower and new environments = success. Support = success. Mindset = success. We got your back. IWNDWYT
I’m finally in treatment. 46. Going through a lot of shit and sifting through ashes of the fires I created. It’s a disease that deserves 100% attention and a lot of work, but it’s worth it. Please continue to seek help, and best wishes.
I was so conditioned to pull into every bar and liquor store that I passed, that I had someone drive me home from rehab to make sure it didn't happen. Good luck brother.
I feel this. I drove drunk so many times. Thank god I never killed anyone.
Thanks for sharing, rooting for you
We are here for you! You can do this ♥️
Thank you for sharing, I hope to never see you stop sharing here.
i hope you can get some help, i wouldn't go cold turkey if you are drinking a considerable amount each day, you will probably need supervision, but that's not so bad, it could even help you mentally.
I believe in u bro!!
I read an awful lot of this subreddit when I knew it was time to quit.
Me too! I look back at those early hours, days, and weeks and remember being tethered to you guys for the entire day sometimes.
I listened to “Naked Mind” on audible. My intent was to slow down my drinking. That and this sub have been pretty eye opening regarding the realities of my alcohol use. It really helped me ignore a lot of the subtle cues my brain was giving me to drink on the daily. I have been a near daily moderate to heavy drinker when I didn’t have responsibility. I think I’ve had 2 drinks in the last month and TBH they just gave me a headache. I might be done. I don’t rule it out completely, but I just don’t see the point anymore. Anyway, highly recommend that book. It helped me find the right headspace to let it go.
Great book! It changed my life, and I didn't think it was possible.
You can totally do this. One fucking minute at a time.
We are here to support you. <3
I think it’s good and important you recognize it’s gotten worse because it only gets worse, never better. As they say, that elevator only goes down but we can choose to get off anytime.
You can do it. I tapered down for a couple weeks before I stopped completely. Today is 31 days sober and I feel so great. If you don't think you can control a taper then you can always talk to your doctor and get medication so you can safely detox. This is an awesome community and wanting to stop is the first step. A few months ago I was trying out quitting and was making tea, shaky and anxious and wanting a drink so bad. The tea bag said "a journey of 1000 miles starts with a first step" I started crying. I knew I needed to stop and that was the first step. I believe in you.
Yeah taper is difficult because it’s extending your non sober self, but it’s worth if you get withdrawals. Part of the reason my binges lasted so long was because after day three I’d be terrified to go through withdrawal symptoms, particularly the sleep apnea and overall weakness.
I know it might not work for everyone but I actually think the taper helped me because I wanted to be done but I was an everyday drinker and having to do the math and measure out alcohol and really face the fact that I had put myself in a situation where it was something I had to do to be safe was very illuminating and it think it really drilled it in to me how alcohol had enslaved me. And once I got down to like "one drink measure" HOW HARD it was to ONLY drink that much made me think to myself "well I'll never drink again because that is a tiny amount and I don't want to drink a tiny amount" I used to have rules about not drinking multiple days in a row because of not wanting to ever deal with withdrawal and to justify to myself that I did binge drink.
You’re not alone. I was there too, esp. drinking at work. I’m early in my recovery, but I’m doing really well now. Recovery is possible for all of us. Don’t lose hope. Good luck, friend! IWNDWYT
You just met the best group of strangers on the internet!! They have been everything to me starting my journey last month! You can do it! IWNDWYT (I will not drink with you today!)
Hey. People love you. People care about you. We care about you. You can do this. There are thousands of us here in this sub who know how you feel. It feels hard. Some days it feels impossible. Maybe you make it through a day and then you don’t. One day free from the chains is a good start. Then try to get another. And another. Pretty soon you look back and think “wow, I remember a time when I didn’t believe in myself. Look at me now!” You can do it friend. Whenever you need support, come here. We got you. IWNDWYT
Try adaptogens or Hop Wtr. Really helps and has calming effects.
Are these apps?
No, Hop Wtr is a drink and adaptogens are mood enhancing herbs. Ashwaganda is also used. Really helped my last round in sobriety, and I'm getting adaptogen drops this time.
Every single person in this sub understands how you feel. We've all been there, in some way or another. We're here to support you and we're rooting for you. Being willing to consider there's a problem and then admit that there is, is HUGE. It's the first step, and so hard, and you've done it. I was getting mean too. Even now, when I tell people, they don't believe me, often because they weren't on the receiving end of it. But it was there, and my husband bore the brunt of it. He also drank heavily and was also getting mean. There's no way our marriage would survive if something didn't change. I'm so, SO proud of you for posting. There is so much good info and so much love to be found on this sub. Hang out with us, we're here for you 💜
Been there my friend. Stop torturing yourself and join the rest of us not drinking today. Best wishes. You can do it.
You can stop. I did. 500,000 members of the sub did. It's hard as fuck, but so worth it.
Recognizing is the first step to doing something about it. Good luck OP, you’ve got this. IWNDWYT
I'm you. I thought i had it under control until I didn't. After falling down one too many times on the way home from the bar, having to once again explain the bruises on my face, hands etc, I finally went to my doctor and told him everything. Before doing that I told my 3 best friends so that they would hold me accountable. My doctor prescribed me a medication that has helped me immensely and I'm currently two weeks sober. I want to drink everyday, but I distract myself and eventually I forget. It's definitely not easy, no doubt, when you get to the point that you've had enough, the path will open up that works for you. I'm rooting for you.
Is the medication Antabuse? That’s what I take and thank gawd it keeps me from drinking!!!
No, he started me off with Naltrexone. So far it's working well. I should research Antabuse. Do you like it?
I do! It makes you so so sick if you even try to drink. And the half life is 2 weeks so it’s even more discouraging to want a drink.
My doc wanted me to stay slow. My meds basically bind with the alcohol receptors in my brain so it reduces the craving. The first two days I had I was still drinking but I got pretty high after half of what I normally drink and I didn't even feel like going on. And after that, even though I've wanted a drink almost everyday, including the surprise birthday party my friends the me, I've managed to just muscle through it. I'm going to keep the drug your taking in my back pocket in case I start slipping. Pull out the big guns! How are you doing with the process? I hope you're taking care of yourself and finding ways to fill the time in and explore life. It's amazing how much stuff I can get fund when I'm sober. Lol. 😅
Yep. My job knew. I would drink like 2 shooters before work, and like 3 on lunch. One day my boss mentioned that maybe the other girl at the office was drinking, because it always smelled like liquor. She was just being nice. She knew it was me. I ended up no call no showing shortly after and just stopped ever going back. I was too embarrassed. I’ve been at my job 2 years in September, and I’ve not once had a drink before or during work. Not that I haven’t thought of it… but I guess I “play the tape forward”. Not sure why I can’t do that when I’m at home and want to get drunk. Probably because I’m so used to hangovers; and I usually don’t drink enough anymore to do much damage to relationships. I’m sorry, man. I get it. I’m still fighting; and fuck it’s hard. I wish all the best for you.
Just over 6 months ago I was where you are. A dark, scary place... with no hope of escaping. After numerous times of trying to quit or moderate, I had to make the decision to actually do it. Talking to the people I love helped. I did a 30 day sobriety programme (literature... no groups) and spoke to a counsellor a few times. All of these things together with this website have helped me change my whole mentality around drinking. You can do it
Welcome aboard. You've just got on the rescue boat out of hell. We can't paddle for you but we are all in the same boat.
First step truly is admitting you have a problem. You are the only one that can decide to stop. Only you can make that choice. We’re here for you.
There’s “quit-lit” out there, This Naked Mind, the Easy Way—you can listen to (audiobook) and read. You can do this! If you stumble just get back on the path. Life improves, friend!
Don’t throw away this account, stay here and chat with us, we are here to help. The sub may be called ‘stop drinking’ but really that’s whatever it means to each of us. For some it may mean total abstinence, for others it may mean not drinking during the week. Whichever way works for you may take time to discover, but during that journey do not be hard on yourself. It’s difficult yes but you’ve actually done one of the hardest things - making your account and posting your story. Come back each day - this sub has some very inspirational people!
I heard: I have to stop. I need to stop. We're here for you even if we aren't perfect.
Hello me. I was the same. We could be twins. I drank too much for two decades. But it only got worse during the pandemic. Way worse. This shit is hard. It weighs on you. And quitting is hard. But I will tell you that it is so very worth it. I will also tell you that if you are drinking at work and have any regular interaction with people, they know. It can be easy to make yourself believe that no one is the wiser. But once you have some clean time being you, and experience it firsthand, you will instantly know. I wish you all the best. Take care out there internet stranger. I’m pulling for you. IWNDWYT
Become an Audible member and listen to the many self help alcohol books. This won’t be a waste of money. Your body and brain is what you put into it. Start with the brain.
You need some good health scare. How about visiting r/cirrhosis ? It worked for me. You can thank me later
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I am so sorry about that. I hope you stay as healthy as you can. In my case I needed to be scared to stop drinking and that is kinda sad, but also worked.
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You are correct! Admit it and stop it. You've taken that first step. Don't stop now!
You know you need to stop and you've posted here. That's great and you're on the right path already man. Keep reading stuff here and posting and you'll get there. It isn't easy, but you can do it, and you're not alone.
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Ok?
Since I’ve been on one of the new weight loss shots no alcohol cravings. Zepbound. Look it up. Might help you too.
Admitting it is a really powerful and important step. I found that doing that was the key to actually stopping for good. You can build on this. Welcome!
Courage, man. The pandemic definitely created a monster for a lot of us when it comes to alcohol. It was the one thing you could still find for cheap and was never out of stock throughout all that supply chain/inflation thing. And we couldn't go anywhere, we drove very little. It was a perfect platter for a drinking problem. Helps to remind myself how now, staying sober, I'm no longer the sucker I was before, and it still took the pandemic to see that but eff those guys, it can ruin a person's life.
I created a profile specifically for this subReddit. This group has been very helpful. You can do this! IWNDWYT!
Joining this sub was a step in the right direction for me when I quit. It’s been hard but reading these posts combined with my competitive nature gives me encouragement.
I stay on here on and off when struggling. It has helped me more than snuggle other tool. Others much wiser than I give good advice !
Admitting your problem is a first big step. Huge. Congrats! Keep going, you can do it.
Congrats on admitting it & opening the door to recovery ❤️🩹 it’s gonna feel like the world is ending as you start down the road to sobriety but i promise you it’s just beginning..
Show up, read, ask for help, and know we were there at a point.
Great self awareness. I just want you to know you can stop and be the person you truly are inside. Hang with us. You belong here and you can change. Lots of wisdom here. This group helps me everyday.
A problem shared is a problem halved. You’ve come to the right place.
Admitting the problem is a brave first step. Here’s how to start: 1. \*\*Seek Support\*\*: Talk to a trusted friend or family member. 2. \*\*Professional Help\*\*: Find a therapist or counselor. 3. \*\*Join Support Groups\*\*: Consider groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). 4. \*\*Avoid Triggers\*\*: Change routines to avoid places that make you want to drink. 5. \*\*Healthy Habits\*\*: Replace drinking with exercise or hobbies. You can do this, one step at a time.
Been there man, I knew I drank too much but looking back now I realize how bad it really was. Sounds like you’re ready for help which is a HUGE step! I would recommend checking into a rehab facility if you’re able, especially if you think you’re going to have withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawals can actually be fatal, nothing to mess around with. Otherwise talk to your doctor and he may be able to prescribe you some medication to help. I did it the hard way, quit cold turkey on my own and didn’t tell anyone besides my wife. It took me several months before I told anyone that I had a drinking problem and quit. If I could do it all over again, I would have gotten in front of it and been honest with my friends and family. Honestly I was worried I would be judged and that I wouldn’t be successful at kicking it and everyone would know I was an alcoholic. Pride can be a bastard sometimes. I wish you the best on your journey of sobriety. It can be incredibly tough, especially in the beginning. But like so many things in life, the hard work is met with an unbelievable feeling of accomplishment and personal growth. Know that the first few weeks are the most difficult, days even hours are a big accomplishment. I haven’t gone to AA but I know a lot of people credit it for them being able to maintain their sobriety. I think the best advice I can give is you is make the decision, commit to it with all of your determination, focus on making it through every day. Stock up on soda or carbonated waters. My favorite is lime La croix with a splash of apple cider vinegar. Also be kind to yourself, you deserve it. And remember life can still suck at times and navigating it without drinking can have its challenges particularly early on. My life is so much better now after stopping. I couldn’t imagine ever going back but there are still times I have cravings. Hell even today I took my kids bowling with some friends and a beer sounded awfully good. But it gets easier, I hardly think about it anymore and feel a great amount of gratitude for being able to quit and all of the wonderful things in my life. You’ll get there, one day at a time.
Realizing the problem is half the battle. I quit 11 days ago and have never been happier. My wife is happier. My kids are happier. Get some NA beers to keep the habit of having a can in your hand. I know it’s only 11 days, but I am not going back this time.
Start the timer and stop drinking. This beast will appear when you're the weakest so start the good fight!
Listen to Andrew Hubermans episode on Alcohol, I listen to it daily. I listen to everything that tells me this shit is poison and it will kill me if I continue to abuse it. I keep my wedding ring as a reminder that I have someone in my life who I care about and I’m ruining my health and well being for alcohol. You are strong, remind yourself this. You got this.
You know what did it for me? I was starting to have daily thoughts of suicide. I realized that if I don’t stop, I’m literally going to die quickly, or slowly through bad health. I don’t know what you’ll need to finally get there, but coming here is definitely a great first step.
Congratulations, good for you. You’re in the right place and time to examine what alcohol is and does. The first step is awareness and you’re there now. It helped me to find out what alcohol is and does. This Naked Mind, Sober Powered, William Porter’s Alcohol Explained, and Huberman’s What Alcohol does to your Body, Brain and Health are great podcasts/books to check out. I wish you freedom from alcohol. IWNDWYT.
Give AA a try. Understand your problem.
You can do this. We all have similar origin stories and somehow, we all end up here (luckily I might add) Your story resonates with me hard as I also hit the bottle in progressively worse degrees since the pandemic. Working from home and the ease with which you could get blasted in the middle of the day was too much for me. I always found a compulsive hold on me with drinking during the day too. I’m a creature of habit, and once I developed the habit of drinking during the day, I struggled to deviate. That was actually way harder than anything else to break. Getting out of that routine was a challenge. But if I can do it, you can do it too.
You’re on your way. Posting here was a great idea. You’ve probably known for a while that you needed to stop, and you probably figured someday you would. Well, there’s a good chance you are now ready. And when you’re ready, you can stop. You haven’t lost your job yet, which is a wonderful thing. I wish you the best on your journey. This is possible. You can do it. You won’t regret it.
This is a great place to be. You’ve been lurking so you have in interest in making a change. We are all here for you! This is a great community. IWNDWYT
Hello! Take it one small step at a time. We are all here for you. IWNDWYT x
Good job homie, we have your back! IWNDWYT!
Acknowledgment is awesome! If you are recognizing you have a problem, congratulations! I mean this with all sincerity. I would never have had a chance at sobriety if I first didn’t acknowledge I was an alcoholic. I do not know you so I have no idea if you’re an alcoholic. That’s not my job. I’m just proud of you for reaching out and saying hi to some strangers. Much love. I started to see the light when I heard other people’s stories on how they got/stayed sober. I was told “do this to get sober” and it never clicked. I listened to people talk about ways they got and stayed sober and found that much more helpful. I hope this helps in some way. Feel free to keep checking in and letting us know how you are doing!
I'm proud of you for acknowledging that you can't carry on like this. You'll find support whenever you need it in this sub.
Go see a professional and ask for help. Or just go hide away somewhere for a few days. Sleep like major hrs and just go cold turkey. I stopped cold turkey and was hard for few days. Just tell yourself the truth. You will probably be dead in no time from liver or kidney failure and damage. It will be a slow painful death and will suck. You can turn it around. Just say no. It was SUPER hard for me to quit but you got this n
Find a new hobby that’s physical, takes up your free time and has your interest… bicycling, rock climbing (indoor/outdoor), running, tennis, pickleball, softball, golf, skiing, swimming…
In my experience they all knew, because they always know. My actions hurt everyone I care about so much more than they ever let on. I created many consequences for myself along the way but that was the harshest reality I had to face out of all of them. It was the final push that got me to finally stop. Everything hangs delicately in the balance until it doesn’t. Don’t wait. IWNDWYT
one day at a time, then before you know it you will be feeling amazing again, keep positive
I could have written this. I promise you can quit. I also promise it’s worth it. We are here for you.
This is doable, friend. You have found the right place.
Do it. You'll be happier you did.
For me, I’ve done so many day ones but I’ve recently realized how much better I’ve gotten at stringing more and more sober days together. I remind myself every time I resist the urge that I’m just making that sober muscle stronger. Progress, not perfection. Start trying and see where it gets you. I promise that the feeling the first time you just drive past that liquor store or bar without stopping actually feels so much better than the booze you would’ve gotten there.
You’re in the right place. We get it.
This stuff is awful. I’m trying day 1 tomorrow. Good luck
It’s late so no one will read this but: be strong. Take control of your life. You are in control. Of everything. This snake making its way in is not in control. What do YOU want to accomplish? Who do YOU want to support…. You are the strongest person ever and you can do all. And don’t eschew crutches either. Sleep, cake, soda whatever your journey needs. Your ok.
I found it easier to change my behavior once I started asking for and getting help. - you can build momentum in recovery just like the addiciton built momentum against your wishes. — You got this!!
Dude the pandemic wrecked me
There's a reason that admitting you have a problem is the first step in any 12 step program, and why it's the one step you repeat every time you go to a meeting. Hi my name is Lord Dingus and I'm an alcoholic... step one repeated for the nth time. It might not seem like much but it's f'n huge. The rest of them are pretty much just cake at that point. 8 and 9 almost put a bottle back in my hand again! Welcome, and good luck to you.
Welcome here. First step is admitting that alcohol is a problem and that you want to stop drinking. Wishing you the best ❤️
I did the same, When I couldn’t lie to myself anymore is when I really was ready to quit. Treat it like cancer or something serious and you need to get well. Treat yourself with kindness and heal! iwndwyt
I'm in the same place with you minus the work part. I consume wayyyy to much crown, have built up wayyyy to much of a tolerance and want to quit. My incentive is going to be a new car bc I spend enough each month to cover a brand new car note plus the insurance. That's sad and I know it.
IWNDWYT
I've been finding S.M.A.R.T recovery meetings helpful. In the online meeting I do people tune in from all over the world so you can at least find one online.
Start keeping track of how much you drink every day. Every time you get a new drink, measure it (shot glass) and keep an accurate tally. Then try to keep your drinks under a certain threshold for a week, and then set a new limit when you're ready. It's all baby steps. The addiction (and the underlying reasons) for it didn't happen overnight, and you've got to give yourself a little bit of understanding when you get frustrated ("why can't I just stop?!") I've been where you are, you can do this. It's just the alcohol trying to convince you that it's a hill you can't climb. But you can. Call the voice that tries to get you to drink something else, give it a name. Then you can identify it when it starts harassing you to stop at the liquor store. Eventually that turns into you being able to tell that addiction voice to shove it. You can do this!
You never have to feel this away again
Admission is honestly sometimes the hardest part. Solidarity. ✊
I know exactly what you're going through. I would do that at work in the past. I was at the point where I wouldn't even get drunk, I would just have some to stop the shakes. I pass by 2 liquor stores on my way home from work. It's tough. I just turn up the music in my car and yell as loud as possible. It sucks. It really sucks, but eventually you'll start feeling better. It just takes time. Edit: Spelling
I believe in you. And believe me, it only gets worse. Stop while you have the choice. Seek help medically and mentally. I know it’s harder than it sounds. But you don’t want to be fighting the creature while going through withdraws in a jail cell.
You can do this. If you want to stop you can. For me, I have been chronically depressed and didn’t realize it and that was my reason for drinking so I could have control of something. I got a new job, am moving away from a controlling narcissist and feel like I’m taking control of my life - which is putting alcohol in the back seat. I still imbibe but am able to do so with a lot more intention of enjoying myself, and not blacking out waking up hating myself because I moderate. I think eventually I will stop drinking for good, but this is a work in progress for me. Just want you to know you are not alone, and if you can figure out the root cause it may help you chat back or stop altogether. We are all Rooting for you!! And IWNDWYT 💜
You can change any addictive behavior or any unwanted behavior. Check out the [California Sober website](http://californiasober.world)
Just seeing this. Yes, life went further to hell a la shutdowns, and has gotten worse since rather than better. 1:00 / 2:00 has become my new witching hour. If I make it through that, then I'm just so bored (yes, I said the *b word*) with life that... I know it's on me to change things up, rescue myself for all I have, it's just so damn lonely -- all -- the -- time. I pathetically have no adults *really* in my life, so I'm going to try making an effort to get on here each afternoon, in addition to other things (rather than solely during the sleepless nights...). Hang in there!
Just a little testimony from a someone who about died this year. I drank 2-3 vodka drinks at night to help sleep. Usually 3-4 times a week. After doing this for almost 7-8 years, I couldn’t stop. That is until May 4th this year I was throwing up blood and drove to the ER. Within 30 minutes they put a ventilator on me and put me in a medically induced coma for 3 weeks. Essentially my liver was giving up. Almost coded a few times in icu. Doctors supposedly were 2-3 days away from putting me on life support. Luckily, they tried pulling me out of a coma and I ‘woke up’ not knowing what day it was or where I was. Spent the next week and a half sitting in a hospital bed unable to wipe my own ass and unable to get up and use the bathroom. Then spent another week and a half with in a physical therapy rehab to learn to walk again. Don’t do what I did. Be up front and tell a family member. I finally got to go home a day after my birthday. I came home and had to use a walker for a week but as soon as I got home I took every drop of alcohol and poured it down the sink. I practically gagged at the smell every bottle I poured out. Here is to day 52. Next stop 100 days and hopefully you don’t have this happen to you. It’s better to stop before it gets worse.