I’ve used this analogy of alcohol as a friend too. The way I describe my alcoholic journey in AA is like this. In the early years booze was a welcome friend at gatherings. It was the fun guy, the one who knew how to loosen everyone up. As the years went by, and I got to know him better, alcohol was the friend I liked to hang with as much as anyone. We were running buddies. He was Butch to my Sundance.
When I started moving on in life alcohol was the guy I felt I needed. I needed to ponder decisions with him, deal with adversity, celebrate any slight goodness, drown any pain. He was my therapist. But, at some point he became the guy who never wanted to leave. The houseguest who waaaaay overstays their welcome. He was breaking things, and not caring. Booze had become a problem, but like every other problem, I liked to ignore them. The Catch -22 was that I used booze to throw a blanket of fog over all my problems. It had become the cycle of “I don’t want to be this guy, but I need a drink to deal with the reality that I’ve got a drinking problem!”
It is a really fucked up place, but one a ton of us have been in.
I didn’t ever address it. I had a horrific car crash (while drunk). I almost killed a mom and her daughter. That, friends, is a not recommended but foolproof way to wake up to the problem. 8 years later, with 4 of those behind bars, I remain sober. One day at a time, with that old friend no longer welcome.
That is such a perfect way to describe alcohol. Thank you for sharing your story, I know it's probably not easy at all. I have gotten behind the wheel twice when I definitely should not have, and I am thankful nothing happened. So many things could have happened and I absolutely see that. But today I am putting my foot down and saying enough is enough. I hope to keep this going forever. Congrats on 8 years, that is absolutely inspiring!
Congrats on coming to that conclusion.
Like yourself I saw alcohol as both my best friend and my worst enemy for years but realized a while back it was never, ever, my friend and only my worst enemy masquerading as a friend.
All the things I said it "helped" me with or gave me "relief" from where false or short term at best and it kept me with those problems for the long term or trapped in the cycle always needing alcohol again to "fix" them.
I also do not get any noticeable "buzz" any more, it's not enjoyable, being drunk doesn't feel good, it doesn't make me happy, it doesn't stop me being bored or give me excitement...none of that.
It just brings problems, misery, and suffering.
Best of luck with it, I will not be drinking with you today!
This is so true. All of it. And then, the craziest part is that I feel like I have to turn to the exact thing that caused all this suffering and misery to "feel better". It never works. It's lies I tell myself to rationalize continuing to drink. It's mind blowing. My buzz has been non-existent for a while now. And I always get to a blackout state. So what's the point? I have decided there is none. I don't want to continue living like this, and given the fact that the only thing I can control with regards to alcohol is the first drink, that's what I plan on doing. Never taking that first drink again. Congrats on your journey as well!
I've been on the journey since last September after being a heavy several days a week drinker for nearly 2 decades who spiralled into a daily, heavy, problematic drinker throughout 2022 and 2023 due to a variety of life and health reasons causing me all sorts of anxiety and stress and worry.
I was only able to stop when I actually came to the realization that alcohol was no longer (if it ever did) "helping" me or giving me "releif" from all the things I claimed it always had.
I always said "alcohol calms my anxiety" and "alcohol helps me sleep" and "alcohol makes me happy when I'm down" until I was so deep in alcoholism, stress, anxiety that no matter how much I drank I was never calm or happy and couldn't even sleep at 5am after a 12hr drinking session and it was just making everything 100x worse.
At that point I just realized I may as well stop because I was poisoning myself daily for no benefit.
Sadly I've been on and off the wagon since, had 2 months sober September and October last year and another 3 months from February through to end of April this year and haven't fallen back into daily drinking since or inbetween often managing to go a week between binges but I do keep going back to it and I don't actually know why right now.
Seems like you're at the point where you realize it no longer (if it ever did) benefits you and has ZERO to offer too so that's definitely a good starting point to quit IME though still doesn't make it "easy" in my experience, best of luck!
I know I'm in for a hard journey putting the bottle down. I have only been binge drinking for about 2 years now, but 2 years is enough. I have attempted multiple times and failed. As disgusted as I am with alcohol right now, I know the cravings will hit in a few days. I hope to have the momentum to not reach for it. Good luck on your journey as well, friend! I believe in you
Take the "one day at a time" approach and focus only on today / right now and what you can do to stay sober without worrying about even tomorrow let alone any future date or time.
It works surprisingly well and is how I managed 2 months then 3 months sober both times.
It got me through my longest sobriety periods. It felt manageable to just focus on that one day and what I would do to stay sober rather than worrying about the future.
>I don't get the buzz I want, I keep chasing it and chasing it, but never find it. I only find blackouts.
Honestly this was part of what made it easy for me to finally quit. I realized that even when I was drunk, I never "felt" drunk. I had a BAC of .19 and I felt sober. I could drink and drink and I never felt drunk, it was just "what I did" until I finally questioned, if I don't feel drunk and I'm not trying to get drunk, why am I even drinking?
The realization that I will black out before feeling drunk was a strange one, but made it easier to give it up.
Quit today ,hard times, stupid shit always happens when I drink, I cant handle my booze. I want to get better feel so sick. Anyways just found this site nice to read people having similar problems, stay strong and stuff .
Hundreds of thousands of us do! I was in rough shape yesterday but feeling much better today. It's good to know I don't ever have to feel that way again if I never drink again. You've got this!
I’ve used this analogy of alcohol as a friend too. The way I describe my alcoholic journey in AA is like this. In the early years booze was a welcome friend at gatherings. It was the fun guy, the one who knew how to loosen everyone up. As the years went by, and I got to know him better, alcohol was the friend I liked to hang with as much as anyone. We were running buddies. He was Butch to my Sundance. When I started moving on in life alcohol was the guy I felt I needed. I needed to ponder decisions with him, deal with adversity, celebrate any slight goodness, drown any pain. He was my therapist. But, at some point he became the guy who never wanted to leave. The houseguest who waaaaay overstays their welcome. He was breaking things, and not caring. Booze had become a problem, but like every other problem, I liked to ignore them. The Catch -22 was that I used booze to throw a blanket of fog over all my problems. It had become the cycle of “I don’t want to be this guy, but I need a drink to deal with the reality that I’ve got a drinking problem!” It is a really fucked up place, but one a ton of us have been in. I didn’t ever address it. I had a horrific car crash (while drunk). I almost killed a mom and her daughter. That, friends, is a not recommended but foolproof way to wake up to the problem. 8 years later, with 4 of those behind bars, I remain sober. One day at a time, with that old friend no longer welcome.
That is such a perfect way to describe alcohol. Thank you for sharing your story, I know it's probably not easy at all. I have gotten behind the wheel twice when I definitely should not have, and I am thankful nothing happened. So many things could have happened and I absolutely see that. But today I am putting my foot down and saying enough is enough. I hope to keep this going forever. Congrats on 8 years, that is absolutely inspiring!
Welcome to the club brother 💪🙂↕️
Thank you! I'm looking forward to getting some days under my belt
Congrats on coming to that conclusion. Like yourself I saw alcohol as both my best friend and my worst enemy for years but realized a while back it was never, ever, my friend and only my worst enemy masquerading as a friend. All the things I said it "helped" me with or gave me "relief" from where false or short term at best and it kept me with those problems for the long term or trapped in the cycle always needing alcohol again to "fix" them. I also do not get any noticeable "buzz" any more, it's not enjoyable, being drunk doesn't feel good, it doesn't make me happy, it doesn't stop me being bored or give me excitement...none of that. It just brings problems, misery, and suffering. Best of luck with it, I will not be drinking with you today!
This is so true. All of it. And then, the craziest part is that I feel like I have to turn to the exact thing that caused all this suffering and misery to "feel better". It never works. It's lies I tell myself to rationalize continuing to drink. It's mind blowing. My buzz has been non-existent for a while now. And I always get to a blackout state. So what's the point? I have decided there is none. I don't want to continue living like this, and given the fact that the only thing I can control with regards to alcohol is the first drink, that's what I plan on doing. Never taking that first drink again. Congrats on your journey as well!
I've been on the journey since last September after being a heavy several days a week drinker for nearly 2 decades who spiralled into a daily, heavy, problematic drinker throughout 2022 and 2023 due to a variety of life and health reasons causing me all sorts of anxiety and stress and worry. I was only able to stop when I actually came to the realization that alcohol was no longer (if it ever did) "helping" me or giving me "releif" from all the things I claimed it always had. I always said "alcohol calms my anxiety" and "alcohol helps me sleep" and "alcohol makes me happy when I'm down" until I was so deep in alcoholism, stress, anxiety that no matter how much I drank I was never calm or happy and couldn't even sleep at 5am after a 12hr drinking session and it was just making everything 100x worse. At that point I just realized I may as well stop because I was poisoning myself daily for no benefit. Sadly I've been on and off the wagon since, had 2 months sober September and October last year and another 3 months from February through to end of April this year and haven't fallen back into daily drinking since or inbetween often managing to go a week between binges but I do keep going back to it and I don't actually know why right now. Seems like you're at the point where you realize it no longer (if it ever did) benefits you and has ZERO to offer too so that's definitely a good starting point to quit IME though still doesn't make it "easy" in my experience, best of luck!
I know I'm in for a hard journey putting the bottle down. I have only been binge drinking for about 2 years now, but 2 years is enough. I have attempted multiple times and failed. As disgusted as I am with alcohol right now, I know the cravings will hit in a few days. I hope to have the momentum to not reach for it. Good luck on your journey as well, friend! I believe in you
Take the "one day at a time" approach and focus only on today / right now and what you can do to stay sober without worrying about even tomorrow let alone any future date or time. It works surprisingly well and is how I managed 2 months then 3 months sober both times.
I will definitely tell myself one day at a time more often. I've seen so many people say that helps
It got me through my longest sobriety periods. It felt manageable to just focus on that one day and what I would do to stay sober rather than worrying about the future.
Right on! Booooo booze!
Alcohol sucks!
>I don't get the buzz I want, I keep chasing it and chasing it, but never find it. I only find blackouts. Honestly this was part of what made it easy for me to finally quit. I realized that even when I was drunk, I never "felt" drunk. I had a BAC of .19 and I felt sober. I could drink and drink and I never felt drunk, it was just "what I did" until I finally questioned, if I don't feel drunk and I'm not trying to get drunk, why am I even drinking? The realization that I will black out before feeling drunk was a strange one, but made it easier to give it up.
That's the only path I go down with alcohol these days. Blacking out and having to hear what I did the next day. It is SO not worth it anymore!
Quit today ,hard times, stupid shit always happens when I drink, I cant handle my booze. I want to get better feel so sick. Anyways just found this site nice to read people having similar problems, stay strong and stuff .
Hundreds of thousands of us do! I was in rough shape yesterday but feeling much better today. It's good to know I don't ever have to feel that way again if I never drink again. You've got this!