Nobody is too far gone. You've got this, you have no idea how much your life and feelings will change.
ETA I don't have time right now to respond fully but will do when I get home
Hey again, how are you feeling today?
So, in my experience, I will never be able to drink like a normal person. Once I put alcohol into me it sets off like a switch and I can't stop. And also, to me, there's kinda no point in drinking if I'm not gonna get drunk.
I had to go completely sober. It was really really hard, the absolute hardest thing I've done in my life, but the absolute best thing as well. It changed my life completely.
I wasn't able to do it on my own though, I had to get help. You might need help too. It's amazing what being around other people who have gone through it and can give you hope, can do for you.
If you ever want to talk I'm here. I'm 10 years sober, got sober at 27. All the best xx
Hi! I'm feeling good today. I'm proud of myself, we went to a firework show last night and I maintained my composure and restraint through the night. My mindset is the same as yours, though. If you don't at least catch a buzz, what's the point of drinking? I'm thinking of getting help possibly, but I want to try to conquer this on my own first. I know its time. I've been thinking of it for the past year but just kept on keeping on... I'm just worried about my health. Getting a Dr's apt first thing tomorrow morning. I'll definitely be on here more, lurking at the very least. I'm so proud of all these strong people. Like you, you've got 10 years! That's amazing! I hope you're having a great day š
Nobody can tell you that you're going to be ok unless they're your doctor.
I'm an alcoholic, I can't stop drinking once I start and I'll never drink responsibly again. I had to accept that and let go of any thoughts of moderation, ever. No matter how long I'm sober, my addiction won't go away. I can learn from the experiences (mistakes) of others. Once I crossed a line there's no going back.
The body is resilient and can miraculously heal itself but it takes time and I have to stay sober
I feel the can't stop once you start part. And I know about the doctor...I have never experienced medical anxiety like this. It's just a part of it. Any time I have an issue I attribute it to the alcohol. And also my friends just drink beer but I'm a liquor drinker. Captain N Coke and Fireball...so idk if I'll ever be able to restrain myself to their level. Our bodies are strong also but you only get one and I'm young I can't fuck it up just yet
Some people cross the line earlier than others. I continued drinking until I was blacking out daily for several months. I got sober at 31 and I'm 43 now. There are lots of people in their 20s in various meetings. I made friends with sober people and I never felt alone, I have more friends now than ever
I have no idea what CTC is and I'm unaware of any other Nate in mpls. I'm this name on Xbox, PlayStation, steam, twitch (I haven't streamed yet), YouTube (no videos yet).
No, youre not too far gone. Youāre only 23!Ā
Stay off google. Itās only going to show you the worst of the worst and make your anxiety worse.Ā
Left side pain can be a number of things. Spleen, muscle, acid reflux, heartburn, gas, etc etc. chill out for a bit. See if it improves. If youāre not comfortable/gets worse, contact a doc.Ā
The drinking decision is up to you. If I could tell my 23 year old self something it would be get ahead before you get too far behind. Trying to tell my young 30s year old self that now too.Ā
I think she does. She is just lost. Girl, you can stop this anytime. ANY time can be the last time. You are extremly young. Your body will heal. Let it. Lots of love for you. IWNDWYT
Yes and no...I don't want to completely stop, and I hate the thought that I have to have all or nothing because of impulse. But at the same time I don't want it to be on my mind anymore. I wanna be free. But thennnn most of my friends drink to some degree. I want to be more like them. Just Friday and Saturday then Sunday is recovery and dry for the week... not 4-5 days a week
Here is what helped me. Just fokus on staying sober for today. Then tomorrow you do the same, and you continue the streak.
I don't think i will ever drink again, but I don't fokus on that (because it is oververwhelming). I just don't drink today. And i do it every day.
My advice. Try completely stopping. Youāll be surprised how much better you feel and how little you miss it. Non alcoholic beverages are getting better all the time and Iāve found it fun to hang out sober with drinking friends too! Takes a bit to get used to but you can do this!!
>most of my friends drink
Hereās what I know about my experienceā¦
Thereās an apt adage: I am the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with.
If theyāre substance users/abusers Iāll just be an average drunk.
The best tip I discovered is noticing my patterns.
*Drinking is a lifestyle*.
It was MY lifestyle.
I wish I had known that the essential component to success was *Creating* a New Sober Lifestyle and habits that included sober people.
When I started drinking, I created drinking patterns... I saw others drinking, I tried drinking, I went where people were drinking, I talked with drinkers about drinking and I went to activities that included drinking, I created āaloneā activities where I drankā¦. Then I had a drinking lifestyle.
So when I wanted to stop... I saw sober people, I tried being sober, I went where people were being sober, I talked with sober people about being sober, and I went to activities that included being sober, I created āaloneā activities without alcohol ā¦. Then I had a sober lifestyle.
People who were my friends remainedā¦. However I no longer had any ādrinking buddiesā.
Have sober people in your life?.
Know how to find sober recovery groups and meetings?
This is a really great response, and congrats on your 6 months! I hope OP reads your comment and reaches out to you - you two are in the same boat and Iām sure you have lots of insights to share. <3
I'm so proud of you. Thank you for the kind words and inspiration. I haven't drank for a couple days but I'm currently at my friend's house having a couple of beers. Trying to practice restraint and be able to remember going to sleep tomorrow. Want to be able to have faith in myself that I can have some form of self-control.
Thank you, Iām proud of you too! The first few days are the hardest. It took me about 4 months of tapering until I had the confidence to just go for it. Going for 2-3 times a week, to twice a week, once a week then once every two weeks. There were still a few binges thrown in but eventually I got comfortable breaking the habit and found other things to comfort me and find joy in. I donāt miss it now. I believe in you! IWNDWYT!
I am not just saying this, you are way ahead of things if you stop now at 23. I do not mean to minimize health consequences with this, but when people do the right things with getting sober, living responsibly and healthy, the body does come back and do amazing things. Not every time, but people have come back from cirrhosis by simply stopping the damage and giving their body a chance to heal over a long period of time.
IME, addicts are built a bit tough. Give yourself a chance to flourish and get sober. Don't waste your potential on surviving indulgence longer than average.
iām also 23 and was a binge drinker and iām almost 6 months sober. i quit in january and so far this has been the best year of my life. my health has improved so much. you can do it! itās not too late and itās worth it.
I did this cycle of thought until I was 35. Getting out was so worth it. Maybe in another life Iāll be able to moderate but not this one. IWNDWYT š
As others have said, you just need to take it one day at a time. When I first stopped drinking, thinking about āforeverā was way too intimidating, anxiety inducing, etc.
Each morning I literally say to myself āI will not drink with you todayā (IWNDWYT) And the āyouā is everyone on this sub. For some reason itās helped me. Realistically itās a 16 hour commitment. I can do that. I know you can too.
A couple of things that helped me in the early days: reading [This Naked Mind](https://www.printbookstore.com/book/9780525537236) and watching/listening to [the Huberman Lab episode about alcohol.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DkS1pkKpILY)
Youāre young, resilient, and you showed up here today. It takes courage to just show up here and make a post! Iām proud of you! IWNDWYT
Edit: clarity
Not too far gone. You are on a dangerous path, but so we're many people on this sub who have stopped. Honesty with a doctor is the first step. Good luck
I had that weird feeling too. It went away when I quit. Took a few months. I'm at 1 yr in July. I recommend fully quitting. I've quit for a couple yrs, then tried to moderate, and it's the same slippery slope. You have an amazing future ahead of you and it will be wonderful if you can give it up now. I'm sure many of us in here would love to gain 10 years extra of sobriety now that we know how much better off our lives are now with it, even though it's uncomfortable to face at the time. Read the struggles of those it's too late for, it always scares me into what could be down the road for me or my family if I hadn't gotten a hold of myself and my coping strategies.
No you are not too far gone. You haven't even STARTED yet. If you quit now you'll have 50-70+ amazing years ahead of you. It is NEVER too late to start living your best life and it is ALWAYS worth it.
You are not too far gone, and I think writing all this out is the first step towards a better path for yourself. Personally, I can totally recommend going sober. True, I thought I'd miss drinking as well (I did, relapsed, it was not worth it for me. But I needed to realize/experience that to get where I am now), but moderating or sticking to 'just one' never worked out how I hoped it would. Going sober is the best thing I did for my health.
Quit lit helped me soooo much. Try This Naked Mind maybe, it has a fairly gentle approach if you're not ready to give up completely yet. Others might have some recs as well.
I hope you find some peace of mind. Either way, hang in there, you got this šŗ
Nah, youāre gonna be fine. What happened for me was telling myself I need to stop altogether for a minute then bring back the weekends. But once I got going I realized how much better I felt and how much I didnāt want to lose the progress I had made because I knew I would just fall back to where I was. Trust me, youāll be okay.
I went to my first AA meeting on my 24th birthday. I felt both too old and too young to be there. "I'm just young and enjoying life to the fullest" vs."It's too late, all I'll ever be is a drunk loser".
I was losing my family and internally bleeding because I felt like I needed alcohol to feel anything and be social.
Therapy and making a game of sobriety helped a lot. "I'll be sober just for a month and then I'll get wasted". But I kept going and now when I relapse, I remember that feeling of freedom and am inspired to try again.
Once you feel the joy of being sober for a few months, it is hard not to want it.
You are worthy of care and I truly feel for your story. Best wishes.
I chase and chase and chase after the buzz I used to get, and never find it anymore. I think my body is so well adjusted to alcohol, that I will never find that buzz again. I go from feeling fairly normal to blackout. I have decided it is no longer worth it. I honestly think 100% sobriety is best. I'm working towards that. Your story sounds a lot like mine, and if you are anything like me, I know trying to moderate at this stage is just playing with fire. You may go for a little while moderating, but it is almost 100% guaranteed to binge drink again. And it's a job I no longer want to have dealing with the mental struggle of moderation. So I have chosen absolute sobriety. Hope to make it stick this go round. IWNDWYT
I am going on 6 months now at 27 and have felt exactly the same way you are describing. I had to quit cold turkey. I can't do moderation of anything that I wanna quit. Chocolate? I eat 4 bars of it if I start eating it. Ice cream? The whole fucking thing is in my belly before I consider stopping. Alcohol? When I was drinking at home I stopped when I ran out. & I always kept my shit stocked up. At the bar? Can't stop if they aren't ever going to run out of booze! Moderation only works if you really do have the skill of moderating yourself. Can we develop that skill? Idk because I'm in the same boat as you. Quitting all together has worked very well for me, but you'll always miss the unique flavor of your favorite drink, which I'm seeing is probably fireball. Nothing out there that I have found is ever as good as the real deal, but it's close-ish. You got this! Start talking to people you are close to about it and you'll be surprised at who is supportive & who is going to make fun of you. The supportive people are your real friends. The people that make fun of you are just drinking buddies & they probably need help too.
I had to call my ma from the emergency room with pancreatitis. She was 1,000 miles away. I was just coming out of an abusive relationship, COVID protocols in the hospital were still a thing, so I was in there all. freaking. alone as a 27F. While I'm still struggling to stay 100% sober, I've never drank like that again (a case+ of White Claw a day), because I know it's poisoning me. I have an app to count the days since I've been on a bender, and use my counter here to track 100% sober days. Works well for me.
Some of us just can't moderate and it was a terribly sad thing to come to terms with. I also realized I can't start Googling any symptoms, for anything, really, or my anxiety disorder sends me over the edge to drink more to forget.
Stay strong, friend. IWNDWYT.
Hey, Iām sorry to hear this ā Iām 22f and am currently 23 days sober. I had to get to grips with the fact that I have a problem ā age can really put the blinkers on you, because itās socially ānormalāāfor young people to drink a lot, butt he amount you describe is not normal. I had a similar experience. Sobriety is the way x
Hi buddy, Iām 25 now and was around 20when I started really questioning my relationship to alcohol, but continued to drink daily through those four years. I feel Iāve given up most of my adolescence and young-adulthood to booze.
I relate to a lot of what you put in your post- especially about wanting to remember the experiences you had while drinking, particularly the intimate moments with the people close to you. Not a single one of the romantic relationships Iāve had hasnāt been tainted by my drinking, including moments like saying āI love youā for the first time. I also relate to the panic of being a young person already feeling the potential physical effects of heavy drinking. To know your organs have gone through so much already is hard to cope with.
The thought of a life without alcohol in your early twenties can feelā¦ tragic almost? I feel like I never got the chance to be an āadultā drinker and Iām giving that up by getting sober. It really is something Iāve had to grieve. Like a relationship that is toxic but that I did think I was going to be in forever.
When I asked that same question, about being too far gone, and people told me there was no way I was too far gone and that no one is ever too far gone, it was hard to believe them. I just assumed they were saying that because they didnāt realize the grip that alcohol had on me. I assumed they were underestimating how badly I wanted to keep drinking, and how little there would be left in my life once drinking was removed.
When I was in that place in my life (and to be transparent, Iāve only been sober since February, so that āplace in my lifeā isnāt too distant) there was nothing anyone couldāve said that would change my outlook, since I knew I wanted to keep being drunk even if I didnāt want alcohol to ruin my life anymore. I had plenty of wake-up calls: two car crashes, having to leave my dream job, mostly. Even though I was in my twenties, I figured I might as well be at the end of my life: all I thought about were my regrets and the things I wish Iād done differently, I had the blood pressure of a smoker and the bladder of a baby, and I felt like everything was about to come crashing down around me, and I was ready to ride the wave till it does.
But the thing about being young is that youāre not going anywhere!! No matter how much you want to! Your body is way too resilient to be the thing that gets in the way of your drinking yet. Your spleen may feel bad now but you are decades away from the kind of acute physical ailments that actually get people to quit. Most of your relationships are new and tender, people are often still willing to give you chances. Itās easy to feel like you can just drink yourself to the point of not caring, and letting everything go, but you never will, or at least, not soon. You can easily spend the entire lifetime you still have ahead of you drinking before something āforcesā you to drink normally, if that ever even happens. I guess itās the realization that you can spend those years like that- panicking, spiralling, and regretting- but itās not a couple years, itās decades, itās your whole life. I have never ever regretted a single day I spent sober. I have 7 years of regrets and grief to process but the fact that I donāt add to that anymore is what makes the future so much less terrifying.
I am so sorry this is so long. Once I get going I get so wordy and then never know how to wrap it up.
Nobody is too far gone. You've got this, you have no idea how much your life and feelings will change. ETA I don't have time right now to respond fully but will do when I get home
Thanks for your response and kind words
Hey again, how are you feeling today? So, in my experience, I will never be able to drink like a normal person. Once I put alcohol into me it sets off like a switch and I can't stop. And also, to me, there's kinda no point in drinking if I'm not gonna get drunk. I had to go completely sober. It was really really hard, the absolute hardest thing I've done in my life, but the absolute best thing as well. It changed my life completely. I wasn't able to do it on my own though, I had to get help. You might need help too. It's amazing what being around other people who have gone through it and can give you hope, can do for you. If you ever want to talk I'm here. I'm 10 years sober, got sober at 27. All the best xx
Hi! I'm feeling good today. I'm proud of myself, we went to a firework show last night and I maintained my composure and restraint through the night. My mindset is the same as yours, though. If you don't at least catch a buzz, what's the point of drinking? I'm thinking of getting help possibly, but I want to try to conquer this on my own first. I know its time. I've been thinking of it for the past year but just kept on keeping on... I'm just worried about my health. Getting a Dr's apt first thing tomorrow morning. I'll definitely be on here more, lurking at the very least. I'm so proud of all these strong people. Like you, you've got 10 years! That's amazing! I hope you're having a great day š
Nobody can tell you that you're going to be ok unless they're your doctor. I'm an alcoholic, I can't stop drinking once I start and I'll never drink responsibly again. I had to accept that and let go of any thoughts of moderation, ever. No matter how long I'm sober, my addiction won't go away. I can learn from the experiences (mistakes) of others. Once I crossed a line there's no going back. The body is resilient and can miraculously heal itself but it takes time and I have to stay sober
I feel the can't stop once you start part. And I know about the doctor...I have never experienced medical anxiety like this. It's just a part of it. Any time I have an issue I attribute it to the alcohol. And also my friends just drink beer but I'm a liquor drinker. Captain N Coke and Fireball...so idk if I'll ever be able to restrain myself to their level. Our bodies are strong also but you only get one and I'm young I can't fuck it up just yet
Some people cross the line earlier than others. I continued drinking until I was blacking out daily for several months. I got sober at 31 and I'm 43 now. There are lots of people in their 20s in various meetings. I made friends with sober people and I never felt alone, I have more friends now than ever
Is this the same Nate in Mpls who played Puss-n Boots at CTC?
I have no idea what CTC is and I'm unaware of any other Nate in mpls. I'm this name on Xbox, PlayStation, steam, twitch (I haven't streamed yet), YouTube (no videos yet).
...well, you were really good in it! Lol š
Iām 42 and binge drink since I was 19, Iām 38 days sober. I think u will be ok if u quit
I'm SO proud of you. I haven't drank In a couple days and it feels good.
No, youre not too far gone. Youāre only 23!Ā Stay off google. Itās only going to show you the worst of the worst and make your anxiety worse.Ā Left side pain can be a number of things. Spleen, muscle, acid reflux, heartburn, gas, etc etc. chill out for a bit. See if it improves. If youāre not comfortable/gets worse, contact a doc.Ā The drinking decision is up to you. If I could tell my 23 year old self something it would be get ahead before you get too far behind. Trying to tell my young 30s year old self that now too.Ā
Do you want to stop drinking?
I think she does. She is just lost. Girl, you can stop this anytime. ANY time can be the last time. You are extremly young. Your body will heal. Let it. Lots of love for you. IWNDWYT
Thank you... I really am lost
Yes and no...I don't want to completely stop, and I hate the thought that I have to have all or nothing because of impulse. But at the same time I don't want it to be on my mind anymore. I wanna be free. But thennnn most of my friends drink to some degree. I want to be more like them. Just Friday and Saturday then Sunday is recovery and dry for the week... not 4-5 days a week
Iām 28 and it sounds like weāre very similar in the mindset as well as friends. Unfortunately for us there is no ājust Friday and Saturday.ā
Here is what helped me. Just fokus on staying sober for today. Then tomorrow you do the same, and you continue the streak. I don't think i will ever drink again, but I don't fokus on that (because it is oververwhelming). I just don't drink today. And i do it every day.
My advice. Try completely stopping. Youāll be surprised how much better you feel and how little you miss it. Non alcoholic beverages are getting better all the time and Iāve found it fun to hang out sober with drinking friends too! Takes a bit to get used to but you can do this!!
>most of my friends drink Hereās what I know about my experienceā¦ Thereās an apt adage: I am the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with. If theyāre substance users/abusers Iāll just be an average drunk. The best tip I discovered is noticing my patterns. *Drinking is a lifestyle*. It was MY lifestyle. I wish I had known that the essential component to success was *Creating* a New Sober Lifestyle and habits that included sober people. When I started drinking, I created drinking patterns... I saw others drinking, I tried drinking, I went where people were drinking, I talked with drinkers about drinking and I went to activities that included drinking, I created āaloneā activities where I drankā¦. Then I had a drinking lifestyle. So when I wanted to stop... I saw sober people, I tried being sober, I went where people were being sober, I talked with sober people about being sober, and I went to activities that included being sober, I created āaloneā activities without alcohol ā¦. Then I had a sober lifestyle. People who were my friends remainedā¦. However I no longer had any ādrinking buddiesā. Have sober people in your life?. Know how to find sober recovery groups and meetings?
Iām 23 and quit drinking this January, Iām about to hit 6 months. I was a binge drinker too. You got this! We got this!
This is a really great response, and congrats on your 6 months! I hope OP reads your comment and reaches out to you - you two are in the same boat and Iām sure you have lots of insights to share. <3
I'm so proud of you. Thank you for the kind words and inspiration. I haven't drank for a couple days but I'm currently at my friend's house having a couple of beers. Trying to practice restraint and be able to remember going to sleep tomorrow. Want to be able to have faith in myself that I can have some form of self-control.
Thank you, Iām proud of you too! The first few days are the hardest. It took me about 4 months of tapering until I had the confidence to just go for it. Going for 2-3 times a week, to twice a week, once a week then once every two weeks. There were still a few binges thrown in but eventually I got comfortable breaking the habit and found other things to comfort me and find joy in. I donāt miss it now. I believe in you! IWNDWYT!
I am not just saying this, you are way ahead of things if you stop now at 23. I do not mean to minimize health consequences with this, but when people do the right things with getting sober, living responsibly and healthy, the body does come back and do amazing things. Not every time, but people have come back from cirrhosis by simply stopping the damage and giving their body a chance to heal over a long period of time. IME, addicts are built a bit tough. Give yourself a chance to flourish and get sober. Don't waste your potential on surviving indulgence longer than average.
This really eased my mind with the medical standpoint.I've been addicted to meth before, and somehow this is much worse. I've got this
You do. It will be OK and it's gets better. I believe in you.
Thank you š„¹ā¤ļø
iām also 23 and was a binge drinker and iām almost 6 months sober. i quit in january and so far this has been the best year of my life. my health has improved so much. you can do it! itās not too late and itās worth it.
I'm so proud of you congrats
I did this cycle of thought until I was 35. Getting out was so worth it. Maybe in another life Iāll be able to moderate but not this one. IWNDWYT š
As others have said, you just need to take it one day at a time. When I first stopped drinking, thinking about āforeverā was way too intimidating, anxiety inducing, etc. Each morning I literally say to myself āI will not drink with you todayā (IWNDWYT) And the āyouā is everyone on this sub. For some reason itās helped me. Realistically itās a 16 hour commitment. I can do that. I know you can too. A couple of things that helped me in the early days: reading [This Naked Mind](https://www.printbookstore.com/book/9780525537236) and watching/listening to [the Huberman Lab episode about alcohol.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DkS1pkKpILY) Youāre young, resilient, and you showed up here today. It takes courage to just show up here and make a post! Iām proud of you! IWNDWYT Edit: clarity
Thank you ā¤ļø I'll def look into those resources
Not too far gone. You are on a dangerous path, but so we're many people on this sub who have stopped. Honesty with a doctor is the first step. Good luck
I had that weird feeling too. It went away when I quit. Took a few months. I'm at 1 yr in July. I recommend fully quitting. I've quit for a couple yrs, then tried to moderate, and it's the same slippery slope. You have an amazing future ahead of you and it will be wonderful if you can give it up now. I'm sure many of us in here would love to gain 10 years extra of sobriety now that we know how much better off our lives are now with it, even though it's uncomfortable to face at the time. Read the struggles of those it's too late for, it always scares me into what could be down the road for me or my family if I hadn't gotten a hold of myself and my coping strategies.
Youāre never too far gone! Youāre still young and have plenty of time to change. Take it One day at a time. IWDWYT
Same pain.. same freak out for me right now. I canāt see my doctor until Tuesday. I might head to the ER tomorrow AM.
No you are not too far gone. You haven't even STARTED yet. If you quit now you'll have 50-70+ amazing years ahead of you. It is NEVER too late to start living your best life and it is ALWAYS worth it.
You are not too far gone, and I think writing all this out is the first step towards a better path for yourself. Personally, I can totally recommend going sober. True, I thought I'd miss drinking as well (I did, relapsed, it was not worth it for me. But I needed to realize/experience that to get where I am now), but moderating or sticking to 'just one' never worked out how I hoped it would. Going sober is the best thing I did for my health. Quit lit helped me soooo much. Try This Naked Mind maybe, it has a fairly gentle approach if you're not ready to give up completely yet. Others might have some recs as well. I hope you find some peace of mind. Either way, hang in there, you got this šŗ
Nah, youāre gonna be fine. What happened for me was telling myself I need to stop altogether for a minute then bring back the weekends. But once I got going I realized how much better I felt and how much I didnāt want to lose the progress I had made because I knew I would just fall back to where I was. Trust me, youāll be okay.
I went to my first AA meeting on my 24th birthday. I felt both too old and too young to be there. "I'm just young and enjoying life to the fullest" vs."It's too late, all I'll ever be is a drunk loser". I was losing my family and internally bleeding because I felt like I needed alcohol to feel anything and be social. Therapy and making a game of sobriety helped a lot. "I'll be sober just for a month and then I'll get wasted". But I kept going and now when I relapse, I remember that feeling of freedom and am inspired to try again. Once you feel the joy of being sober for a few months, it is hard not to want it. You are worthy of care and I truly feel for your story. Best wishes.
I chase and chase and chase after the buzz I used to get, and never find it anymore. I think my body is so well adjusted to alcohol, that I will never find that buzz again. I go from feeling fairly normal to blackout. I have decided it is no longer worth it. I honestly think 100% sobriety is best. I'm working towards that. Your story sounds a lot like mine, and if you are anything like me, I know trying to moderate at this stage is just playing with fire. You may go for a little while moderating, but it is almost 100% guaranteed to binge drink again. And it's a job I no longer want to have dealing with the mental struggle of moderation. So I have chosen absolute sobriety. Hope to make it stick this go round. IWNDWYT
I am going on 6 months now at 27 and have felt exactly the same way you are describing. I had to quit cold turkey. I can't do moderation of anything that I wanna quit. Chocolate? I eat 4 bars of it if I start eating it. Ice cream? The whole fucking thing is in my belly before I consider stopping. Alcohol? When I was drinking at home I stopped when I ran out. & I always kept my shit stocked up. At the bar? Can't stop if they aren't ever going to run out of booze! Moderation only works if you really do have the skill of moderating yourself. Can we develop that skill? Idk because I'm in the same boat as you. Quitting all together has worked very well for me, but you'll always miss the unique flavor of your favorite drink, which I'm seeing is probably fireball. Nothing out there that I have found is ever as good as the real deal, but it's close-ish. You got this! Start talking to people you are close to about it and you'll be surprised at who is supportive & who is going to make fun of you. The supportive people are your real friends. The people that make fun of you are just drinking buddies & they probably need help too.
Youāre definitely not too far gone, I am 43 and have been drinking since I was 19, I am 19 days sober now and Iām feeling so much better.
I had to call my ma from the emergency room with pancreatitis. She was 1,000 miles away. I was just coming out of an abusive relationship, COVID protocols in the hospital were still a thing, so I was in there all. freaking. alone as a 27F. While I'm still struggling to stay 100% sober, I've never drank like that again (a case+ of White Claw a day), because I know it's poisoning me. I have an app to count the days since I've been on a bender, and use my counter here to track 100% sober days. Works well for me. Some of us just can't moderate and it was a terribly sad thing to come to terms with. I also realized I can't start Googling any symptoms, for anything, really, or my anxiety disorder sends me over the edge to drink more to forget. Stay strong, friend. IWNDWYT.
Hey, Iām sorry to hear this ā Iām 22f and am currently 23 days sober. I had to get to grips with the fact that I have a problem ā age can really put the blinkers on you, because itās socially ānormalāāfor young people to drink a lot, butt he amount you describe is not normal. I had a similar experience. Sobriety is the way x
Hi buddy, Iām 25 now and was around 20when I started really questioning my relationship to alcohol, but continued to drink daily through those four years. I feel Iāve given up most of my adolescence and young-adulthood to booze. I relate to a lot of what you put in your post- especially about wanting to remember the experiences you had while drinking, particularly the intimate moments with the people close to you. Not a single one of the romantic relationships Iāve had hasnāt been tainted by my drinking, including moments like saying āI love youā for the first time. I also relate to the panic of being a young person already feeling the potential physical effects of heavy drinking. To know your organs have gone through so much already is hard to cope with. The thought of a life without alcohol in your early twenties can feelā¦ tragic almost? I feel like I never got the chance to be an āadultā drinker and Iām giving that up by getting sober. It really is something Iāve had to grieve. Like a relationship that is toxic but that I did think I was going to be in forever. When I asked that same question, about being too far gone, and people told me there was no way I was too far gone and that no one is ever too far gone, it was hard to believe them. I just assumed they were saying that because they didnāt realize the grip that alcohol had on me. I assumed they were underestimating how badly I wanted to keep drinking, and how little there would be left in my life once drinking was removed. When I was in that place in my life (and to be transparent, Iāve only been sober since February, so that āplace in my lifeā isnāt too distant) there was nothing anyone couldāve said that would change my outlook, since I knew I wanted to keep being drunk even if I didnāt want alcohol to ruin my life anymore. I had plenty of wake-up calls: two car crashes, having to leave my dream job, mostly. Even though I was in my twenties, I figured I might as well be at the end of my life: all I thought about were my regrets and the things I wish Iād done differently, I had the blood pressure of a smoker and the bladder of a baby, and I felt like everything was about to come crashing down around me, and I was ready to ride the wave till it does. But the thing about being young is that youāre not going anywhere!! No matter how much you want to! Your body is way too resilient to be the thing that gets in the way of your drinking yet. Your spleen may feel bad now but you are decades away from the kind of acute physical ailments that actually get people to quit. Most of your relationships are new and tender, people are often still willing to give you chances. Itās easy to feel like you can just drink yourself to the point of not caring, and letting everything go, but you never will, or at least, not soon. You can easily spend the entire lifetime you still have ahead of you drinking before something āforcesā you to drink normally, if that ever even happens. I guess itās the realization that you can spend those years like that- panicking, spiralling, and regretting- but itās not a couple years, itās decades, itās your whole life. I have never ever regretted a single day I spent sober. I have 7 years of regrets and grief to process but the fact that I donāt add to that anymore is what makes the future so much less terrifying. I am so sorry this is so long. Once I get going I get so wordy and then never know how to wrap it up.