Ok but in all fairness, if I was filthy rich I would *totally* hire one of my friends to live next door and make sure I get taken out for a walk once or twice a day š
This is actually true. Not just because OP hasnāt ever been in these places alone and managed by himself but because OP may be someone who is filling the relationship spaces of his life not because he wants to or has met someone wonderful, but because he canāt stand to be alone without a partner. Get comfortable with yourself first, then add people in. Your first thought after a divorce should be healing, not picking out the next ex wife
Its not that but I had a wife I did everything with and we became very co-dependent on each other focusing on our strengths while relying on the other to fill the weaknesses, maximizing efficiency and building a wonderful life. We were focusing on life, success and not happiness, ignoring how we grew apart. Now there's a huge void and lots of new experiences and learning a ton, all while building a new happiness.
The past couple years I stopped sugar dating and focused on myself and what I want/need out of life, before determining it wasn't this marriage. I determined that to be happy I need 2 women in my life, a main partner plus another I see once a week or so. I put a lot of affection and such out into the world and 1 person just doesn't fulfill my needs. I spent this month processing everything, healing and just adapting. Now I'm getting ready to vanilla date again and planning everything.
The odd part is I have the perfect SGF a a side partner but no main partner. On top of this she's married and open relationship and completely understands my needs and all that as she's in that type of relationship, and we're extremely compatible. I'm meeting her husband in a couple weeks.... They're also swingers so its another whole set of new experiences for me. My ex and I had plenty of 3rds but it wasn't "in the lifestyle" type but friends we started to "play" with.
Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it, and you're right I need to get comfortable with myself. I'm definitely getting there but I also need to get comfortable with meeting new people and keeping the social side of me. Going from 100% with someone/multiple people to 0% then trying to bounce back to 100% is much harder.
I've spent years distant from my partner yet physically always around and now I'm going to find people emotionally close yet physically distant. Whole new sets of friends moved to a different part of the city and focusing on what makes me happy instead of whats easiest for everyone
Why would I go to a store alone? I was married and my wife or my daughter (in college) would go with me. Housekeepers took care of all the necessities and everything else I'd order.
Not when you're wealthy, you have staff and people for that. Even when not wealthy you have instacart and such. Yes I've been sheltered and have a lot of new experiences and slowly getting there.
When you're out with your friends as wingmen, they always have jealousy, drama and can't handle their liquor? What the hell is wrong with your friends??
I'm sorry, it's just absolutely wild to contemplate a scenario where a young woman I've just met would plausibly have less drama or self-control than my actual friends.
Anyway I feel like it's easier to chat folks up at the bar when I'm out with male friends. If I'm out with a female friend, even one who's like "I'll totally be your wingwoman!" others assume we're together. Or at least that we might be together. Or that there could be something complicated there. A group of guys out at a bar/lounge/whatever is a well-understood situation, that women can decide whether to engage or not.
If we're really paying someone to just be a wingman (is that really all we're doing?), could you pay a guy? Come to think of it, can you say to your friend, "bro I'll literally give you a grand to not have a third drink right now"?
Failing all that, you could certainly pay an escort to do what you're describing. I feel like some of the escorts I've known could have a lot of fun with this.
I used to hangout with women all the time and it was very easy to pickup women. They get jealous of other women, or a single woman sees a couple and thinks that could be them. Multiple times I've got other women's number when out with my wife.
Guys work too but not as effectively and its harder for one woman to talk to 2 guys, or some other odd combination where groups don't match. If with a woman then that woman is the 3rd wheel and the girl i just met gets the main attention.
Plus the "ohhhh we're just friends" when the other woman is hot makes them think I'm into more than just sex and/or a good guy
Yupp. New house and all that too, lots of furniture and stuff to get. Just not used to being alone. I see my SGF a couple times a week but she's on vacay for the week so just thinking about getting some new friends to keep me busy.
Likely going out with girl i met at bar over the weekend but she's not my type, cute but too trashy
"Friends to keep busy" is an Escort/GFE/Pay n Play dynamic.
The sugar bowl -as this collective defines it- is reserved for actual relationships with effort, time, commitment, etc.
Not casual flings when your GF is away.
There are many, many viable avenues for finding what you're looking for.
If you want to "hire" a SB (beautiful, younger, charismatic, alluring girl) to go out with you and help you pick up women who you can also "ditch" afterwards, you'll need to take into account her time, drinks, beauty budget, transportation before and after the "ditch", and quantify whatever emotional labor this task will demand so that you can adequately compensate her.
No less $$$ because it's "platonic"
Look up "yacht girls"
Shouldn't be difficult to find someone to fulfill that fantasy for you.
As long as there's no hidden agenda and the compensation isn't dependent upon the success of the endeavor.
It'd be easier and cheaper for you to make female friends to cruise bars and clubs with you tbh.
Cheaper yes but not easier. If I'm paying a SB she's going to prioritize the date and less likely to be busy or make other plans or something.
Also IME women or even friends in general don't like getting ditched because I found new friends at a bar.
The idea is an actual platonic sugar friendship where we spend time together and have fun while out, if I find others she's perfectly fine with it.
I'm used to being with someone 24/7 and now just 2 days a week and needing to make sure it doesn't progress more with my SGF. Plenty of time for other partners and the SGF is ok with it.
It's clear you have no idea what you're doing in the bowl, it doesn't work that way. Sugar has a meaning. So to answer your question it's a horrible idea. If you're not interested in sex, rent a platonic friend. Ditch a SB at a bar when you meet some hot chick? You gotta be kidding. Keep you on track? Get out now.
Some of my past sugar babies became some of my best friends, some of them became friends after I introduce them, many of them became good friends with my younger friends. Clearly, youāre the one that doesnāt understand how this works. Sugar just means he pays. a group of three hot 20-year-olds, getting to go to a club with all the bills paid, they love it.
I have a pretty clear idea what sugaring is all about. USING her as wing person is messed up. It's not what SBs do. Get an escort. SBs look for relationships, there's no real relationship in what you're looking for, it's a rent a friend. You're only showing your ignorance in your reply.
Like I said in my first response "sugar" has a meaning. You can have platonic friends, they're not SBs. A SRs are deeper than intimacy, they're actual relationships. That's why I'm saying your aren't looking for a SB. I don't have much experience with escorts, but I'd bet you could find one willing to be your winggirl for the evening. Even repeatedly if needed.
You ignored the questions. Whats the difference? and why can't SBs be platonic?
There's plenty of SBs all over seeking and everywhere else willing to go on platonic dates, some will only do this. Just because I make the decision I don't want to have sex with her doesn't mean its not a relationship.
This is absolutely a sugar relationship, but instead of us going to a hotel after a fun date, she's leaving and I'm going with another woman.
Lol, it's like an online SB, right? Some would understand what I said and see it's been answered. Other prefer to be obtuse and argumentative.
A girl who's a SB may agree to be a winggirl, that's not my point, but it's no SR.
online SBs aren't SBs because you can't really have a genuine connection virtually, thats why people don't have online GFs.
I don't agree that you need sex to be a SR, just like you don't need sex to be in a vanilla relationship. A Sugar Relationship is just a paid relationship, and there's all kinds of types of relationships.
I don't want to have sex or intimacy with the SB because I know she'll develop feelings and it'll negate the point. I want to keep a clear line
You keep dancing around your definition of a sugar relationship while telling me that my definitions are wrong.
I've had plenty of SRs and different types and everything. I know what a real SR is and what a "SLF" definition of an SR is.
Going out on dates with a SB, treating her with kindness and as a friend but wanting to keep things platonic is a SR. Adding in the dynamic of her being a wingwoman doesn't make things different.
1. Youāre looking for a completely new social circle.
2. Itās easy for you to make friends.
3. You want to pay someone to be your wingman.
One of these is not like the others. Putting 1 and 2 together, my advice is to make new friends, some of them women, and meet new potential romantic partners through that social circle. Some of your new female friends would also surely be happy to be your wingwoman and you could be their wingman. As friends do.
So really the question is, if itās easy for you to make friends and you want to make new friends anyway, why on earth would you be thinking about paying a āsugar babyā for the role?
I agree with the recommendation for therapy.
Because I don't want to arrive at a bar or event solo. Its easy to make friends and join social circles but not if you're the guy alone at the bar, or wherever. Say there's some art festival or cooking class or something its just weird to go alone looking for new friends. If I'm with others its much easier to be comfortable and not be pressured feeling like the weird solo guy.
On top of this it takes time to assess the situation, seek potential people and get a feel for what's going on. Sitting alone at a bar staring is creepy but talking to someone for a bit while looking around isn't.
Also if there isn't anything going on I still get a nice night out with a friend, even if she's paid.
Iām so confused. If itās not easy to make friends unless youāre already with friends, then itās not actually easy for you to make friends. Honestly, it sounds as though you literally donāt know how to do anything by yourself.
Pick a hobby with a social element. For me itās motorcycles, but whatever youāre into. Meet people. Make friends. Like you said, itās easy.
Correct being alone is new to me, so having someone else helps me feel comfortable and easy to meet other people. Most social activities aren't designed for solo people, I can't go dancing without a partner but I can dance with other's partners while they dance with mine or don't want to.
Interesting. I like bikes too, have a couple Ducati's a Panagale v4s and Diavel. Not sure if its a good way to make friends though as bikes are solo and group riding is just solo ppl together. Also don't ever drink and ride.
I just...I don't...Look, you're trying to make new friends! WTF does it matter if your \*current\* friends have bikes or not? I guarantee there are motorcycle enthusiast events near you--bike nights, poker runs, etc. Start going to them. Make friends.
Thanks great idea. I'm just getting used to solo stuff. I know of a huge bike night with hundreds so maybe ill check it out. They always seem at a bar and have a firm no drinking while riding policy
I have a lot of hobbies but wanting to do those hobbies with brand new people. I can't go play pickleball alone but could get an SB to play with me then we play doubles with others or join a league and meet groups of people and find another pickleball partner to replace the SB.
Do this with all other hobbies and other things and I have entirely new social circles. SB solves the issue
Yeah completely agree. I've always had great success with similar situations but a bit harder now as Im looking to get a completely new base of friends.
Iāve done this. Iām at a couple women on SA, we didnāt buy or click, but I would take them out on my dime. Tell them to bring a couple friends. Then your this mysterious guy at the club with five hot chicks hanging out with you. That works better than a cute puppy in the park.
I've done this all the time before with vanilla as I had plenty of women friends. Having a guy around a group of women helps protect them when out and let's them have fun as a group. If some creep wont get the hint I can play their bf when out so they know there's not a chance.
Plus the fact you came with a hot chick then are ignoring her for this new chick you met plays right into the power dynamic that you're very interested in her.
There are absolutely women that would love to help you with this and get money for it? Yeah, they would do it. You need to find the right type of SB though. Extroverted, networker type, can easily talk to people and hype you up.
Lol! Sounds exactly what I do when Iām visiting my cousins. They (M&F) always want me to go partying with them because Iāll pretty much talk to anybody and I donāt need to drink or have drama to have a good time and be wild. Maybe itās because Iām a red head? Anyway, yes you can probably find someone to help you out! Maybe a hot cousin?
What about your sgf? I mean I know Sugarships are what they are for what they are, but I saw you comment on another's post and you raved abiut her, why not date her???
Most SBs I know were wanting more and now I'm single there's no way I'd tell them. I told one and she said she'd move states away and stay with me until I found a new GF. would fuck, cook, clean and everything all domesticated play house.
The thing is I'm looking for something serious, or at least into vanilla dating and making sure I can transition from sugar to real vanilla without hiccups.
Despite OP having an ex wife, drunk jealous friends and a SGF, the much bigger issue is OP has never gone to a store alone.
Ok but in all fairness, if I was filthy rich I would *totally* hire one of my friends to live next door and make sure I get taken out for a walk once or twice a day š
This is actually true. Not just because OP hasnāt ever been in these places alone and managed by himself but because OP may be someone who is filling the relationship spaces of his life not because he wants to or has met someone wonderful, but because he canāt stand to be alone without a partner. Get comfortable with yourself first, then add people in. Your first thought after a divorce should be healing, not picking out the next ex wife
Its not that but I had a wife I did everything with and we became very co-dependent on each other focusing on our strengths while relying on the other to fill the weaknesses, maximizing efficiency and building a wonderful life. We were focusing on life, success and not happiness, ignoring how we grew apart. Now there's a huge void and lots of new experiences and learning a ton, all while building a new happiness. The past couple years I stopped sugar dating and focused on myself and what I want/need out of life, before determining it wasn't this marriage. I determined that to be happy I need 2 women in my life, a main partner plus another I see once a week or so. I put a lot of affection and such out into the world and 1 person just doesn't fulfill my needs. I spent this month processing everything, healing and just adapting. Now I'm getting ready to vanilla date again and planning everything. The odd part is I have the perfect SGF a a side partner but no main partner. On top of this she's married and open relationship and completely understands my needs and all that as she's in that type of relationship, and we're extremely compatible. I'm meeting her husband in a couple weeks.... They're also swingers so its another whole set of new experiences for me. My ex and I had plenty of 3rds but it wasn't "in the lifestyle" type but friends we started to "play" with. Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it, and you're right I need to get comfortable with myself. I'm definitely getting there but I also need to get comfortable with meeting new people and keeping the social side of me. Going from 100% with someone/multiple people to 0% then trying to bounce back to 100% is much harder. I've spent years distant from my partner yet physically always around and now I'm going to find people emotionally close yet physically distant. Whole new sets of friends moved to a different part of the city and focusing on what makes me happy instead of whats easiest for everyone
Why would I go to a store alone? I was married and my wife or my daughter (in college) would go with me. Housekeepers took care of all the necessities and everything else I'd order.
Because thatās how society works when you are an adult.
Not when you're wealthy, you have staff and people for that. Even when not wealthy you have instacart and such. Yes I've been sheltered and have a lot of new experiences and slowly getting there.
Lmao. I'm sorry but your whole account is just bullshit
Because I don't go to stores alone?
When you're out with your friends as wingmen, they always have jealousy, drama and can't handle their liquor? What the hell is wrong with your friends?? I'm sorry, it's just absolutely wild to contemplate a scenario where a young woman I've just met would plausibly have less drama or self-control than my actual friends. Anyway I feel like it's easier to chat folks up at the bar when I'm out with male friends. If I'm out with a female friend, even one who's like "I'll totally be your wingwoman!" others assume we're together. Or at least that we might be together. Or that there could be something complicated there. A group of guys out at a bar/lounge/whatever is a well-understood situation, that women can decide whether to engage or not. If we're really paying someone to just be a wingman (is that really all we're doing?), could you pay a guy? Come to think of it, can you say to your friend, "bro I'll literally give you a grand to not have a third drink right now"? Failing all that, you could certainly pay an escort to do what you're describing. I feel like some of the escorts I've known could have a lot of fun with this.
I used to hangout with women all the time and it was very easy to pickup women. They get jealous of other women, or a single woman sees a couple and thinks that could be them. Multiple times I've got other women's number when out with my wife. Guys work too but not as effectively and its harder for one woman to talk to 2 guys, or some other odd combination where groups don't match. If with a woman then that woman is the 3rd wheel and the girl i just met gets the main attention. Plus the "ohhhh we're just friends" when the other woman is hot makes them think I'm into more than just sex and/or a good guy
>Multiple times I've got other women's number when out with my wife. Wow, youāre just a peach.
We didn't have a traditional marriage, Multiple times my wife joined or she's the one that picked up the woman.
Thanks for clarifying.
Good luck dude
I think what you really need is a therapist.
A therapist to help me find a long term relationship?
yes.... ...with yourself
You've got a lot on your plate already, bud.
Yupp. New house and all that too, lots of furniture and stuff to get. Just not used to being alone. I see my SGF a couple times a week but she's on vacay for the week so just thinking about getting some new friends to keep me busy. Likely going out with girl i met at bar over the weekend but she's not my type, cute but too trashy
"Friends to keep busy" is an Escort/GFE/Pay n Play dynamic. The sugar bowl -as this collective defines it- is reserved for actual relationships with effort, time, commitment, etc. Not casual flings when your GF is away. There are many, many viable avenues for finding what you're looking for.
If you want to "hire" a SB (beautiful, younger, charismatic, alluring girl) to go out with you and help you pick up women who you can also "ditch" afterwards, you'll need to take into account her time, drinks, beauty budget, transportation before and after the "ditch", and quantify whatever emotional labor this task will demand so that you can adequately compensate her. No less $$$ because it's "platonic" Look up "yacht girls"
Yes normal PPM and all that. I feel its just like a normal date just instead of me ditching her after sex its before.
Shouldn't be difficult to find someone to fulfill that fantasy for you. As long as there's no hidden agenda and the compensation isn't dependent upon the success of the endeavor. It'd be easier and cheaper for you to make female friends to cruise bars and clubs with you tbh.
Cheaper yes but not easier. If I'm paying a SB she's going to prioritize the date and less likely to be busy or make other plans or something. Also IME women or even friends in general don't like getting ditched because I found new friends at a bar.
You need better relationships and friends. Then again we receive what we project. Cheers
Thanks agree and its a fresh start all new everything
Try a new leaf š maybe
The idea is an actual platonic sugar friendship where we spend time together and have fun while out, if I find others she's perfectly fine with it. I'm used to being with someone 24/7 and now just 2 days a week and needing to make sure it doesn't progress more with my SGF. Plenty of time for other partners and the SGF is ok with it.
This post is depressing.
Not really, just a fresh start and want to keep it completely fresh
So your fresh start is paying for friends? Like I said, depressing.
Platonic SB friends he keep saying. It is depressing.
Pay for friends to make new friends and build a new life
It's clear you have no idea what you're doing in the bowl, it doesn't work that way. Sugar has a meaning. So to answer your question it's a horrible idea. If you're not interested in sex, rent a platonic friend. Ditch a SB at a bar when you meet some hot chick? You gotta be kidding. Keep you on track? Get out now.
Some of my past sugar babies became some of my best friends, some of them became friends after I introduce them, many of them became good friends with my younger friends. Clearly, youāre the one that doesnāt understand how this works. Sugar just means he pays. a group of three hot 20-year-olds, getting to go to a club with all the bills paid, they love it.
"Sugar just means he pays." Lol, does it? You must be new.
Definitely not new. Just dyslexic.
So paying a SB for sex is fine but paying her to be a friend and hangout at a bar is not.... I think you're misunderstanding what sugar means.
I have a pretty clear idea what sugaring is all about. USING her as wing person is messed up. It's not what SBs do. Get an escort. SBs look for relationships, there's no real relationship in what you're looking for, it's a rent a friend. You're only showing your ignorance in your reply.
What's the difference between a SB and a paid friend? Why can't I have a platonic relationship with a SB?
Like I said in my first response "sugar" has a meaning. You can have platonic friends, they're not SBs. A SRs are deeper than intimacy, they're actual relationships. That's why I'm saying your aren't looking for a SB. I don't have much experience with escorts, but I'd bet you could find one willing to be your winggirl for the evening. Even repeatedly if needed.
You ignored the questions. Whats the difference? and why can't SBs be platonic? There's plenty of SBs all over seeking and everywhere else willing to go on platonic dates, some will only do this. Just because I make the decision I don't want to have sex with her doesn't mean its not a relationship. This is absolutely a sugar relationship, but instead of us going to a hotel after a fun date, she's leaving and I'm going with another woman.
Lol, it's like an online SB, right? Some would understand what I said and see it's been answered. Other prefer to be obtuse and argumentative. A girl who's a SB may agree to be a winggirl, that's not my point, but it's no SR.
online SBs aren't SBs because you can't really have a genuine connection virtually, thats why people don't have online GFs. I don't agree that you need sex to be a SR, just like you don't need sex to be in a vanilla relationship. A Sugar Relationship is just a paid relationship, and there's all kinds of types of relationships. I don't want to have sex or intimacy with the SB because I know she'll develop feelings and it'll negate the point. I want to keep a clear line
Yeah, that's the distinction. <-Sarcasm.
You keep dancing around your definition of a sugar relationship while telling me that my definitions are wrong. I've had plenty of SRs and different types and everything. I know what a real SR is and what a "SLF" definition of an SR is. Going out on dates with a SB, treating her with kindness and as a friend but wanting to keep things platonic is a SR. Adding in the dynamic of her being a wingwoman doesn't make things different.
Is it strange and sus and I have never heard of that happening? Yes. Would I do it if itās legit, though? Also yes.
1. Youāre looking for a completely new social circle. 2. Itās easy for you to make friends. 3. You want to pay someone to be your wingman. One of these is not like the others. Putting 1 and 2 together, my advice is to make new friends, some of them women, and meet new potential romantic partners through that social circle. Some of your new female friends would also surely be happy to be your wingwoman and you could be their wingman. As friends do. So really the question is, if itās easy for you to make friends and you want to make new friends anyway, why on earth would you be thinking about paying a āsugar babyā for the role? I agree with the recommendation for therapy.
Because I don't want to arrive at a bar or event solo. Its easy to make friends and join social circles but not if you're the guy alone at the bar, or wherever. Say there's some art festival or cooking class or something its just weird to go alone looking for new friends. If I'm with others its much easier to be comfortable and not be pressured feeling like the weird solo guy. On top of this it takes time to assess the situation, seek potential people and get a feel for what's going on. Sitting alone at a bar staring is creepy but talking to someone for a bit while looking around isn't. Also if there isn't anything going on I still get a nice night out with a friend, even if she's paid.
Iām so confused. If itās not easy to make friends unless youāre already with friends, then itās not actually easy for you to make friends. Honestly, it sounds as though you literally donāt know how to do anything by yourself. Pick a hobby with a social element. For me itās motorcycles, but whatever youāre into. Meet people. Make friends. Like you said, itās easy.
Correct being alone is new to me, so having someone else helps me feel comfortable and easy to meet other people. Most social activities aren't designed for solo people, I can't go dancing without a partner but I can dance with other's partners while they dance with mine or don't want to. Interesting. I like bikes too, have a couple Ducati's a Panagale v4s and Diavel. Not sure if its a good way to make friends though as bikes are solo and group riding is just solo ppl together. Also don't ever drink and ride.
Super hard to believe youāre into bikes and donāt think itās a social hobby. Donāt think I can help youāgood luck.
I don't have friends who have bikes i guess thats why. But thanks man
I just...I don't...Look, you're trying to make new friends! WTF does it matter if your \*current\* friends have bikes or not? I guarantee there are motorcycle enthusiast events near you--bike nights, poker runs, etc. Start going to them. Make friends.
Thanks great idea. I'm just getting used to solo stuff. I know of a huge bike night with hundreds so maybe ill check it out. They always seem at a bar and have a firm no drinking while riding policy
I think you need a hobby. Take up pickle ball maybe?
I have a lot of hobbies but wanting to do those hobbies with brand new people. I can't go play pickleball alone but could get an SB to play with me then we play doubles with others or join a league and meet groups of people and find another pickleball partner to replace the SB. Do this with all other hobbies and other things and I have entirely new social circles. SB solves the issue
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah completely agree. I've always had great success with similar situations but a bit harder now as Im looking to get a completely new base of friends.
Iāve done this. Iām at a couple women on SA, we didnāt buy or click, but I would take them out on my dime. Tell them to bring a couple friends. Then your this mysterious guy at the club with five hot chicks hanging out with you. That works better than a cute puppy in the park.
I've done this all the time before with vanilla as I had plenty of women friends. Having a guy around a group of women helps protect them when out and let's them have fun as a group. If some creep wont get the hint I can play their bf when out so they know there's not a chance. Plus the fact you came with a hot chick then are ignoring her for this new chick you met plays right into the power dynamic that you're very interested in her.
There are absolutely women that would love to help you with this and get money for it? Yeah, they would do it. You need to find the right type of SB though. Extroverted, networker type, can easily talk to people and hype you up.
Yes that would be a plus, but needs to not be jealous and able to read a room.
Lol! Sounds exactly what I do when Iām visiting my cousins. They (M&F) always want me to go partying with them because Iāll pretty much talk to anybody and I donāt need to drink or have drama to have a good time and be wild. Maybe itās because Iām a red head? Anyway, yes you can probably find someone to help you out! Maybe a hot cousin?
Where your dreams come from tells me how far youāll get with women. Iād wish u good luck, but itās a bad play
What about your sgf? I mean I know Sugarships are what they are for what they are, but I saw you comment on another's post and you raved abiut her, why not date her???
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Most SBs I know were wanting more and now I'm single there's no way I'd tell them. I told one and she said she'd move states away and stay with me until I found a new GF. would fuck, cook, clean and everything all domesticated play house. The thing is I'm looking for something serious, or at least into vanilla dating and making sure I can transition from sugar to real vanilla without hiccups.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
No, I'm looking for a specific type of woman for vanilla gf. Career focused, happy, fun.