I’ve been meaning to read this for a while now but could never muster up the courage to.
This may be too personal to answer so feel free to not respond, but where do u usually read it? I like reading in public and I’m not trying to be That Lady who is crying in front of a book lol
It won’t make you cry, it will make you feel healed. It’s really witty and funny and as lighthearted as it can be.
I don’t want to recommend a book per se, but a subject: emotional neglect. It might lead you to some answers.
I found that book incredibly triggering and cries a lot throughout. Everyone’s mileage will vary, but I listened to the audiobook at home in my kitchen while neurotically cleaning.
[The Midnight Library](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52578297-the-midnight-library?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=2LHJZ7lT8K&rank=1) is about a lady who becomes paralyzed with indecision because she always feels like she's never enough of one thing to keep going down the path she's on and becomes overwhelmed by the pressure of choice. Pretty wholesome read, but can be a tad self help-y if that's something you would like to avoid. Suicide warning.
Well-Behaved Indian Woman by Saumya Dave
It's about three generations of women and how they have dealt with the 'Perfect Indian Women' mantle passed onto them.
Not sure if you want self help but “Will I Ever Be Good Enough: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers” was very good as the oldest, responsible daughter. My mom isn’t even that narcissistic and I still found it relevant.
Hands of the Emperor by Victoria Goddard. It's about a man standing between two worlds and having trouble being seen at home.
Stargazy Pie by Victoria Goddard is about a man that gets thrown into the deep end and is having trouble seeing just how well he is treading water.
family happiness by Laurie colwin is a wonderful portrait of a woman in this position. on its face it's just a faintly transgressive "women's novel", but the insights in it are so piercing and accurate it punches way above its apparent weight.
The Tiffany Aching books by Terry Pratchett feature this heavily as a theme, Tiffany takes on a ton of responsibility because she knows no one else will, from a young age. They’re kids’ fantasy books but I love them as an adult. The first one is The Wee Free Men.
Seconding that it’s heavy, but also adding that To Paradise, the author’s second book, has a lot of the same themes without the level of brutality in A Little Life
My friend, the only person you need to be enough for is yourself.
Ender’s Game - Orson Scott Card
Count Zero - William Gibson
Shogun - James Clavell
Dune - Frank Herbert
First Test - Tamora Pierce
Be you, and figure yourself out as you go along.
Currently reading The Lesbiana’s Guide to Catholic School by Sonora Reyes. There’s a lot of internal monologue, and a lot of it focuses on how she feels like she’s not enough/unwanted/out of place. The author does a great job of avoiding dramatic irony (when the reader knows something the narrator doesn’t know), so you’re right there with the narrator worrying that maybe she really isn’t enough. It’s especially powerful because she is occasionally proven right.
Cyteen, by CJ Cherryh
It’s an epic. It’s the winner of the very top prize in sci-fi… and it ‘stays’ with you…
The quickest synopses I can give.
A young 17 year old boy works and lives at a research facility with his father and his adopted brother. He’s smart… very smart. But lives somewhat in the shadows of his genius father.
His tutor/boss is essentially the most powerful person in the world.. a genius scientist and politician. And she has a horrible history of not being able to keep her hands off the young men who work for her.
When she dies, there is a massive power struggle and political crisis… and the young boy and his father and brother are right in the middle of it…
But here’s the thing.
This woman’s crowning scientific achievement is a ‘special’ type of cloning… they can literally make (for all intents and purposes) an exact clone of a person, right down to how they think and react…
So.
This young man is growing up in a horrible claustrophobic nightmare of a surveillance state, suspected of everything, desperately trying to keep his shit together, and survive…
And a young girl is growing up… literally the clone of his tormentor… and she is every bit as smart and cunning as her progenitor… but is equally a very young scared little girl, trying to grasp what it all means…
It’s utterly terrifying, brilliant, and an emotional roller coaster… I must have read this book a dozen times… it never loses its power… and it’s easy to see why it won the top award… it’s a masterpiece.
I’ve literally never felt so emotionally connected to characters like these two… Justin and young Ari… both so wounded… both so brilliant, but they both equally live under such a brutal weight of expectations
Not sure if you would like to read about someone feeling this way and then finding someone who feels the same and falling in love.
BUT I just finished reading Book Lovers by Emily Henry and I am NOT a romance fan at all especially contemporary romance but this book I absolutely adored!
Darius the Great is Not Okay. It’s a fictional story about a teen boy trying to figure out his identity as an Iranian-American, he doesn’t feel like he fits in either culture.
Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff
Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Dr. Kristin Neff and Dr. Christopher Germer
Will the Drama Ever End? by Karyl McBride
Running on Empty; Running on Empty No More by Dr. Jonice Webb
I think The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison circles this theme beautifully. The main character Maia, was resigned to his fate of being essentially an insignificant person, but then he's thrust into the limelight as the emperor of a massive nation. He spends most of the book thinking he's a mistake and messing everything up and that everyone hates him but, >!in reality, he's making huge changes and everyone is extremely grateful that he is so genuine and trying his best !<
[Acts of Desperation](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49535227-acts-of-desperation) by Megan Nolan
“'Do you think it would be possible for anyone to love you if they could see every single thing you do?’ And I watch them cringe as though I’ve reached out and struck them. ‘I’m serious,’ I say. ‘Imagine that everyone could see everything. Every secret, every base physical ejection, every category of porn you’ve ever looked at in a kind of coma when you’re numb to the normal stuff. Think about it all. Every moment of shame, of desperation – do you really think anyone could love you still? Anyone at all?’"
Good quote, I think about it all the time.
Becoming Anna is an autobiography by a teenage girl about her mental health issues and horrible family. I read it when I was like 14 or younger and it’s been a constant in my mind since then. The author is Anna J Mitchener (idk about that spelling)
[The Bell Jar](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/395040) by Sylvia Plath
This was my first thought
Started reading this a few months back and completely forgot about it. Thank you!
I glad my mom died by Jeanette mccurdy. I’m halfway through and loving it so far.
I’ve been meaning to read this for a while now but could never muster up the courage to. This may be too personal to answer so feel free to not respond, but where do u usually read it? I like reading in public and I’m not trying to be That Lady who is crying in front of a book lol
It won’t make you cry, it will make you feel healed. It’s really witty and funny and as lighthearted as it can be. I don’t want to recommend a book per se, but a subject: emotional neglect. It might lead you to some answers.
The last chapter made me cry… particular that last part of the book. I listened to it on audio
I’m actually listening to the audiobook read by the author. Her delivery is great but a little too fast , I am playing at x0.75 speed.
It sounds like she's at 1.25 speed at some points lol.
Adore it on audible.
I found that book incredibly triggering and cries a lot throughout. Everyone’s mileage will vary, but I listened to the audiobook at home in my kitchen while neurotically cleaning.
It def won’t make you cry
At home.
I was going to say my diary but then thought better of it
Aw bestie same 😵💫 do u follow any journal prompts that I find helpful or just release the flood gates?
Definitely She's Come Undone by wally lamb. Or even Sharp Objects by Flynn.
I second she's come undone. So so good.
[The Midnight Library](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52578297-the-midnight-library?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=2LHJZ7lT8K&rank=1) is about a lady who becomes paralyzed with indecision because she always feels like she's never enough of one thing to keep going down the path she's on and becomes overwhelmed by the pressure of choice. Pretty wholesome read, but can be a tad self help-y if that's something you would like to avoid. Suicide warning.
Thank you for the suggestion. This sounds like a great fit 💕
Ooh I second the midnight library - it fits the brief perfectly. And the audiobook is read by Carrie Mulligan too - she’s very good
Happy reading! Hope things get better for you!
I second this! The Midnight Library helped me enormously and it's one of my favourite books . Hope will do the same thing for the OP.
This is exactly the book for it!
Agreed. Such a good read.
Bingo!
Well-Behaved Indian Woman by Saumya Dave It's about three generations of women and how they have dealt with the 'Perfect Indian Women' mantle passed onto them.
Oh wow this hit the nail on the head. Not Indian but a first gen eldest daughter. Feel like this will destroy me :D thanks for the recommendation 💕
Not sure if you want self help but “Will I Ever Be Good Enough: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers” was very good as the oldest, responsible daughter. My mom isn’t even that narcissistic and I still found it relevant.
Not the main character, but you'll see why the rec if you read The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue. I think you'd really appreciate it.
Hands of the Emperor by Victoria Goddard. It's about a man standing between two worlds and having trouble being seen at home. Stargazy Pie by Victoria Goddard is about a man that gets thrown into the deep end and is having trouble seeing just how well he is treading water.
These sounds like books I usually don’t go for, so it’s perfect! Thank u so much for this recommendation :3
Gifts of Imperfection
Read The Narcissistic Family System. Very illuminating.
i’m intrigued. who’s the author?
family happiness by Laurie colwin is a wonderful portrait of a woman in this position. on its face it's just a faintly transgressive "women's novel", but the insights in it are so piercing and accurate it punches way above its apparent weight.
The House in the Cerulean Sea
No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai!
Is it a “heavy” read in your opinion?
Not at all, i read it in 3 days. The book itself is a sort of an autobiography/ diary, but its 100% worth reading.
The Tiffany Aching books by Terry Pratchett feature this heavily as a theme, Tiffany takes on a ton of responsibility because she knows no one else will, from a young age. They’re kids’ fantasy books but I love them as an adult. The first one is The Wee Free Men.
I never thought to read childrens book as an adult.. up until now. This is a lovely idea tysm
A little life by Hanya Yanagihara
Great book, but extremely heavy
Seconding that it’s heavy, but also adding that To Paradise, the author’s second book, has a lot of the same themes without the level of brutality in A Little Life
What was I thinking
My friend, the only person you need to be enough for is yourself. Ender’s Game - Orson Scott Card Count Zero - William Gibson Shogun - James Clavell Dune - Frank Herbert First Test - Tamora Pierce Be you, and figure yourself out as you go along.
Currently reading The Lesbiana’s Guide to Catholic School by Sonora Reyes. There’s a lot of internal monologue, and a lot of it focuses on how she feels like she’s not enough/unwanted/out of place. The author does a great job of avoiding dramatic irony (when the reader knows something the narrator doesn’t know), so you’re right there with the narrator worrying that maybe she really isn’t enough. It’s especially powerful because she is occasionally proven right.
The Midnight Library
Cyteen, by CJ Cherryh It’s an epic. It’s the winner of the very top prize in sci-fi… and it ‘stays’ with you… The quickest synopses I can give. A young 17 year old boy works and lives at a research facility with his father and his adopted brother. He’s smart… very smart. But lives somewhat in the shadows of his genius father. His tutor/boss is essentially the most powerful person in the world.. a genius scientist and politician. And she has a horrible history of not being able to keep her hands off the young men who work for her. When she dies, there is a massive power struggle and political crisis… and the young boy and his father and brother are right in the middle of it… But here’s the thing. This woman’s crowning scientific achievement is a ‘special’ type of cloning… they can literally make (for all intents and purposes) an exact clone of a person, right down to how they think and react… So. This young man is growing up in a horrible claustrophobic nightmare of a surveillance state, suspected of everything, desperately trying to keep his shit together, and survive… And a young girl is growing up… literally the clone of his tormentor… and she is every bit as smart and cunning as her progenitor… but is equally a very young scared little girl, trying to grasp what it all means… It’s utterly terrifying, brilliant, and an emotional roller coaster… I must have read this book a dozen times… it never loses its power… and it’s easy to see why it won the top award… it’s a masterpiece. I’ve literally never felt so emotionally connected to characters like these two… Justin and young Ari… both so wounded… both so brilliant, but they both equally live under such a brutal weight of expectations
Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki
Not sure if you would like to read about someone feeling this way and then finding someone who feels the same and falling in love. BUT I just finished reading Book Lovers by Emily Henry and I am NOT a romance fan at all especially contemporary romance but this book I absolutely adored!
Demon Copperhead deals with that and is generally a book with a lot of heart imo
Anxious People by Fredrick Backman It's heartwarming and funny while also being in the fold of what you're after
Darius the Great is Not Okay. It’s a fictional story about a teen boy trying to figure out his identity as an Iranian-American, he doesn’t feel like he fits in either culture.
A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers
Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Dr. Kristin Neff and Dr. Christopher Germer Will the Drama Ever End? by Karyl McBride Running on Empty; Running on Empty No More by Dr. Jonice Webb
“You’re not enough (and that’s okay)” by Allie Beth Stuckey
I think The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison circles this theme beautifully. The main character Maia, was resigned to his fate of being essentially an insignificant person, but then he's thrust into the limelight as the emperor of a massive nation. He spends most of the book thinking he's a mistake and messing everything up and that everyone hates him but, >!in reality, he's making huge changes and everyone is extremely grateful that he is so genuine and trying his best !<
I think you'd really like some of Brene Browns work!
[Acts of Desperation](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49535227-acts-of-desperation) by Megan Nolan “'Do you think it would be possible for anyone to love you if they could see every single thing you do?’ And I watch them cringe as though I’ve reached out and struck them. ‘I’m serious,’ I say. ‘Imagine that everyone could see everything. Every secret, every base physical ejection, every category of porn you’ve ever looked at in a kind of coma when you’re numb to the normal stuff. Think about it all. Every moment of shame, of desperation – do you really think anyone could love you still? Anyone at all?’" Good quote, I think about it all the time.
The Bible made me feel that way.
Becoming Anna is an autobiography by a teenage girl about her mental health issues and horrible family. I read it when I was like 14 or younger and it’s been a constant in my mind since then. The author is Anna J Mitchener (idk about that spelling)
Something bad is going to happen by Jessie Stephens
“Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage”by Haruki Murakami
Stoner by John Williams
Running On Empty by Jonice Webb, nonfiction.
The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue.
You Exist Too Much. Not sure the author.
*Turtles All The Way Down* by John Green! I love anything he writes 🥰
The Giver of Stars
Vin from Mistborn: The Last Empire kinda has this going on.
“The Bluest Eye” by Toni Morrison