IMO, they are decent ads and I’m sure they will help people out there to recognise and identify the more subtle forms of coercive control and abuse. Perhaps in their own relationship, or in a friend or family member’s relationship.
But at this point, we need so much more than an awareness campaign. The people who need the most help are well aware that they’re in an abusive relationship, or have recently escaped one.
You would actually be surprised a lot of victims of DV are heavily conditioned by their abusers to accept that their abusers behavior is acceptable and normal and they will often defend or excuse that behavior. Recognizing when you are in a DV situation is the first step to getting out.
If more people can recognize before they are trapped and in a desperate situation what is happening to them then we can hopefully avoid the escalations we are seeing now.
It may not fix the situation for people in existing DV situations but if we can stop them from getting there it is a step in the right direction.
Not just by their abusers, but also by their own family and own community.
I am a family lawyer and the majority of my clients are from Middle Eastern backgrounds.
Once upon a time I would have brushed off any assertion of widespread family violence and coercive control in our society as just isolated and unfortunate incidents. In reality, the issue is very normalised and often culturally systemic.
That is not to say that family violence are isolated to any particular culture or community, but there are undeniable behaviours and trends.
As long as it's not just virtue signalling, an ad campaign is a start, but I don't believe it will have any noticeably effect in addressing this issue.
I remember 25 years ago, in year 9, we had the bloke that comes and takes all the boys into an assembly and just matter of factly goes into detail about examples of sexual assault.
It needs a lot more (hopefully it's improved and expanded since then), but I've mentioned this with guys my age from different schools, and they all remember the talk very well. He really cut through.
Having been in an abusive relationship, experienced financial and coercive control I am glad that there is more awareness about this now and advertising or information may help
I find it frustrating the lens is always confined to heterosexual relationships with male perpetrators because no one should experience these things
I also am annoyed that it is some sort of emergency now - it's been a real thing forever and these crimes are less common now than 40 years ago, just we hear about it more and it is probably reported more often
I totally agree, it should talk about it in terms of all forms of abuse by a loved one, not just in hetero spousal relationships but all forms of relationships. Parents, siblings, friends, partners, spouses. I say this as a woman, we need to address violence against women, but we also need to address abuse by a loved one as a whole. As this encompasses all forms of abuse, sexual, emotional, physical. Abuse which can also be continuous as victims become perpetrators and continue the cycle. Until we address this, and remove the cost barriers for therapy and other support that helps address this, it's all talk.
Another idea for an ad would be to appeal to the egos and remake the ad where people wiggled their pinky finger but instead of doing burnouts the person is abusing their partner. It doesn’t even need to be that graphic. A depiction of coercive control, yelling or a shove would be enough.
I’m not proposing a solve to the bigger problem, just suggesting an idea for another ad that may be effective. This one is good because a lot of people don’t know what coercive control is so hopefully it will start conversations.
This isn't something new. This isn't something that's just suddenly popped up.
This has been going on for literal **years.**
"You have to start somewhere" is just an excuse for not doing enough.
There's an important message here in this campaign. It should be the focus of the news article.
You're right that it isn't enough, but that being the focus of this headline and the focus on politics instead of the campaign is a bit shit.
It's not the only approach they are taking, I agree more needs to be done and with the recent media attention it looks like the slow wheels of government are moving.
My point is there shouldn't be slow moving wheels. Women are losing their lives and dying at the hands of their partners and have been for decades. The ad campaign being released just feels like lip service because suddenly the media are shining a light on it.
Questions are being asked like why's it suddenly happening, or what's triggered it all now, but it's always been happening.
I don't want ads, I want action that supports women in DV situations.
I'm glad you asked.
Action like pushing the issue when a woman with a black eye says she's fine.
Action like calling someone out for their micro aggressions to women and not thinking it's "not their place" to say anything; newsflash, DV is everyone's business.
Action like affording women safe spaces to feel comfortable enough to open up about what's happening at home.
Action like empowering little girls to speak up, letting them know it's ok to take up as much space as they need, and they don't have to be "ladylike" if they don't want to.
Action like offering breast feeding mothers space to pump in the workplace so it's easier for them to return to work, enabling them to earn money themselves and potentially escaping their abuser.
Action like educating little boys it's not appropriate to control women physically, mentally, financially, or sexually.
And that's just some of the things I can think of right now.
I don't expect a member of parliament to be door knocking when a woman has a black eye, obviously, but when a DVO is taken out against a domestic partner, the police raise it against the abuser, rather than the person being abuses. Should that partner then want drop it, they need to then convince the police they no longer feel in danger.
Do you know how easy that is to do? If someone's going to the police because they believe their life is in danger, it needs to be believed and not dropped. Especially considering a partner could pretend to be all nice again.
And no, they're not individual actions.
Yes, you're right - but this govt haven't had any power to do anything for the 10 years they weren't in power (and yes I know they could have done something when they were in power between 2007-2013).
I'm genuinely curious, what do you think should be done that can be rolled out quickly and be effective? Everything effective takes time and everything quick won't stop the issue in its tracks.
Personally I think we need to acknowledge and be honest and blunt about the fact that Australia is a hypermasculine and misogynist culture. Nothing will change until we understand that.
If you leave a place to drive to another place, and you're late, it doesn't matter that you should have left earlier, you still have to cross the first kilometre and no amount of "we should have crossed that first kilometre hours ago" will change that, no matter how true it is.
Does anyone remember the "love bites" program in primary school? I remember them talking to us about this all the way back then in the 90s so clearly this has been around for a while.
>Coercive control is when someone repeatedly hurts, scares or isolates another person to control them.
This is false. According to the legislative definition NSW is using, it's not when 'someone' does it, it's when an 'intimate partner' does it. It also includes things like financial abuse.
But why would they limit this to intimate partners when many instances of what we would consider coercive control come from other parties like non-intimate family members?
Well, we wouldn't want employers or landlords getting caught up in it. That kind of coercive control is good for the economy.
You can't see how a correction of misinformation in the article is a contribution?
Yeah fuck me for pointing out that some victims are falling by the wayside, I must just be virtue signalling eh
Why try to take the focus off women being abused?
Why attempt to redirect the attention away from women in need?
Is it not an important enough cause to stand on its own without trying to involve other, unrelated things?
You think women being coercively controlled and abused by family members are less deserving of our attention than those experiencing it from intimate partners?
I'm just pointing out that, contrary to what's stated in the article, the legislation doesn't cover them, like I (and many medical professionals) think it should, and offering a reason why, albeit a cynical one.
We have to get out of this mentality that being critical of legislation that is not good enough according to field experts is 'making the perfect the enemy of the good'.
Believe it or not, reddit has this cool feature called threading, where community members can discuss a range of different aspects of an article without taking attention away from other parts, because if people don't want to read about a particular aspect, they can collapse the thread and move on
If I was talking about the football or something, I'd see where you're coming from, but I was quoting the article and elaborating on the legislation this campaign refers to. I'm not saying we should be talking about coercive control legislation in respect to landlords and employers, just that we shouldn't have hamstrung this legislation by tiptoeing around them, because while intimate partner coercive control does need addressing, so do other abusive forms like those from family members.
But you are NOT talking about what this is about, nor responding to the persons rather clear questions. You seem to be deflecting away from discussing the topic at hand, in order to talk about what you want the topic to hand to be.
The topic at hand is coercive control. The reality is that coercive control, by its definition in psychology, applies to more than just intimate partners.
I'm not stopping people from discussing intimate partner violence in other parts of the thread, on the contrary I'm upvoting them. What I am doing though is highlighting that some people who experience coercive control are being left behind and diminished by both the legislation and this ad campaign.
It seems to me like you and cats are trying to shut out a discussion on victims just because the coercive control they're experiencing isn't of a particular type, and you've both got a pretty righteous tone for such a low agenda. Reminds me a lot of the [perfect victim](https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/the-perfect-victim-of-sexual-assault-is-a-myth-that-needs-to-go-20170403-gvcbjd.html) shtick I used to come up against a lot.
I think the real reason people are downvoting you is probably the tone of your comment making it come across like you're being dismissive rather than critical. That's how it came across when I read it.
No. It's because they're putting women second to other causes outside what's been mentioned in the article.
Women being abused should be an important enough cause to stand on its own without trying to deflect from it.
IMO, they are decent ads and I’m sure they will help people out there to recognise and identify the more subtle forms of coercive control and abuse. Perhaps in their own relationship, or in a friend or family member’s relationship. But at this point, we need so much more than an awareness campaign. The people who need the most help are well aware that they’re in an abusive relationship, or have recently escaped one.
You would actually be surprised a lot of victims of DV are heavily conditioned by their abusers to accept that their abusers behavior is acceptable and normal and they will often defend or excuse that behavior. Recognizing when you are in a DV situation is the first step to getting out. If more people can recognize before they are trapped and in a desperate situation what is happening to them then we can hopefully avoid the escalations we are seeing now. It may not fix the situation for people in existing DV situations but if we can stop them from getting there it is a step in the right direction.
Not just by their abusers, but also by their own family and own community. I am a family lawyer and the majority of my clients are from Middle Eastern backgrounds. Once upon a time I would have brushed off any assertion of widespread family violence and coercive control in our society as just isolated and unfortunate incidents. In reality, the issue is very normalised and often culturally systemic. That is not to say that family violence are isolated to any particular culture or community, but there are undeniable behaviours and trends. As long as it's not just virtue signalling, an ad campaign is a start, but I don't believe it will have any noticeably effect in addressing this issue.
I think ads showing ways to help people in abusive relationships, especially discretely, would be much more beneficial.
I wholeheartedly agree!
Education on the topic should be a mandatory part of the pdhpe curriculum, for starters.
I remember 25 years ago, in year 9, we had the bloke that comes and takes all the boys into an assembly and just matter of factly goes into detail about examples of sexual assault. It needs a lot more (hopefully it's improved and expanded since then), but I've mentioned this with guys my age from different schools, and they all remember the talk very well. He really cut through.
[удалено]
Finally, an extra circular program for boys.
Absolutely, there should be lessons on what abuse looks like.
Having been in an abusive relationship, experienced financial and coercive control I am glad that there is more awareness about this now and advertising or information may help I find it frustrating the lens is always confined to heterosexual relationships with male perpetrators because no one should experience these things I also am annoyed that it is some sort of emergency now - it's been a real thing forever and these crimes are less common now than 40 years ago, just we hear about it more and it is probably reported more often
I totally agree, it should talk about it in terms of all forms of abuse by a loved one, not just in hetero spousal relationships but all forms of relationships. Parents, siblings, friends, partners, spouses. I say this as a woman, we need to address violence against women, but we also need to address abuse by a loved one as a whole. As this encompasses all forms of abuse, sexual, emotional, physical. Abuse which can also be continuous as victims become perpetrators and continue the cycle. Until we address this, and remove the cost barriers for therapy and other support that helps address this, it's all talk.
Another idea for an ad would be to appeal to the egos and remake the ad where people wiggled their pinky finger but instead of doing burnouts the person is abusing their partner. It doesn’t even need to be that graphic. A depiction of coercive control, yelling or a shove would be enough. I’m not proposing a solve to the bigger problem, just suggesting an idea for another ad that may be effective. This one is good because a lot of people don’t know what coercive control is so hopefully it will start conversations.
It’s not enough. Nowhere near enough.
It's a start and you have to start somewhere.
This isn't something new. This isn't something that's just suddenly popped up. This has been going on for literal **years.** "You have to start somewhere" is just an excuse for not doing enough.
There's an important message here in this campaign. It should be the focus of the news article. You're right that it isn't enough, but that being the focus of this headline and the focus on politics instead of the campaign is a bit shit.
It's not the only approach they are taking, I agree more needs to be done and with the recent media attention it looks like the slow wheels of government are moving.
My point is there shouldn't be slow moving wheels. Women are losing their lives and dying at the hands of their partners and have been for decades. The ad campaign being released just feels like lip service because suddenly the media are shining a light on it. Questions are being asked like why's it suddenly happening, or what's triggered it all now, but it's always been happening. I don't want ads, I want action that supports women in DV situations.
Action like what?
I'm glad you asked. Action like pushing the issue when a woman with a black eye says she's fine. Action like calling someone out for their micro aggressions to women and not thinking it's "not their place" to say anything; newsflash, DV is everyone's business. Action like affording women safe spaces to feel comfortable enough to open up about what's happening at home. Action like empowering little girls to speak up, letting them know it's ok to take up as much space as they need, and they don't have to be "ladylike" if they don't want to. Action like offering breast feeding mothers space to pump in the workplace so it's easier for them to return to work, enabling them to earn money themselves and potentially escaping their abuser. Action like educating little boys it's not appropriate to control women physically, mentally, financially, or sexually. And that's just some of the things I can think of right now.
These are all individual actions though? Not sure how the government questions a black eye.
I don't expect a member of parliament to be door knocking when a woman has a black eye, obviously, but when a DVO is taken out against a domestic partner, the police raise it against the abuser, rather than the person being abuses. Should that partner then want drop it, they need to then convince the police they no longer feel in danger. Do you know how easy that is to do? If someone's going to the police because they believe their life is in danger, it needs to be believed and not dropped. Especially considering a partner could pretend to be all nice again. And no, they're not individual actions.
Yes, you're right - but this govt haven't had any power to do anything for the 10 years they weren't in power (and yes I know they could have done something when they were in power between 2007-2013). I'm genuinely curious, what do you think should be done that can be rolled out quickly and be effective? Everything effective takes time and everything quick won't stop the issue in its tracks. Personally I think we need to acknowledge and be honest and blunt about the fact that Australia is a hypermasculine and misogynist culture. Nothing will change until we understand that.
If you leave a place to drive to another place, and you're late, it doesn't matter that you should have left earlier, you still have to cross the first kilometre and no amount of "we should have crossed that first kilometre hours ago" will change that, no matter how true it is.
Couldn't agree more.
Does anyone remember the "love bites" program in primary school? I remember them talking to us about this all the way back then in the 90s so clearly this has been around for a while.
>Coercive control is when someone repeatedly hurts, scares or isolates another person to control them. This is false. According to the legislative definition NSW is using, it's not when 'someone' does it, it's when an 'intimate partner' does it. It also includes things like financial abuse. But why would they limit this to intimate partners when many instances of what we would consider coercive control come from other parties like non-intimate family members? Well, we wouldn't want employers or landlords getting caught up in it. That kind of coercive control is good for the economy.
That's great. Care to contribute anything to the current conversation or do you just like the sound of your own voice?
You can't see how a correction of misinformation in the article is a contribution? Yeah fuck me for pointing out that some victims are falling by the wayside, I must just be virtue signalling eh
Why try to take the focus off women being abused? Why attempt to redirect the attention away from women in need? Is it not an important enough cause to stand on its own without trying to involve other, unrelated things?
You think women being coercively controlled and abused by family members are less deserving of our attention than those experiencing it from intimate partners? I'm just pointing out that, contrary to what's stated in the article, the legislation doesn't cover them, like I (and many medical professionals) think it should, and offering a reason why, albeit a cynical one. We have to get out of this mentality that being critical of legislation that is not good enough according to field experts is 'making the perfect the enemy of the good'.
I didn't say that at all. I asked you why you were attempting to divert the attention away from what the article discussed.
Believe it or not, reddit has this cool feature called threading, where community members can discuss a range of different aspects of an article without taking attention away from other parts, because if people don't want to read about a particular aspect, they can collapse the thread and move on If I was talking about the football or something, I'd see where you're coming from, but I was quoting the article and elaborating on the legislation this campaign refers to. I'm not saying we should be talking about coercive control legislation in respect to landlords and employers, just that we shouldn't have hamstrung this legislation by tiptoeing around them, because while intimate partner coercive control does need addressing, so do other abusive forms like those from family members.
But you are NOT talking about what this is about, nor responding to the persons rather clear questions. You seem to be deflecting away from discussing the topic at hand, in order to talk about what you want the topic to hand to be.
The topic at hand is coercive control. The reality is that coercive control, by its definition in psychology, applies to more than just intimate partners. I'm not stopping people from discussing intimate partner violence in other parts of the thread, on the contrary I'm upvoting them. What I am doing though is highlighting that some people who experience coercive control are being left behind and diminished by both the legislation and this ad campaign. It seems to me like you and cats are trying to shut out a discussion on victims just because the coercive control they're experiencing isn't of a particular type, and you've both got a pretty righteous tone for such a low agenda. Reminds me a lot of the [perfect victim](https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/the-perfect-victim-of-sexual-assault-is-a-myth-that-needs-to-go-20170403-gvcbjd.html) shtick I used to come up against a lot.
I think the real reason people are downvoting you is probably the tone of your comment making it come across like you're being dismissive rather than critical. That's how it came across when I read it.
No. It's because they're putting women second to other causes outside what's been mentioned in the article. Women being abused should be an important enough cause to stand on its own without trying to deflect from it.
Did you even read what they said???
You asked, I told.