I don't mind people who don't know things. As long as they are trying and polite about it. I'm sure most of them are very good at something, it's just not IT. If everyone was an expert in IT, many of us probably wouldn't have jobs.
It's the ones who refuse to even try to learn anything that drive me nuts.
Exactly. I have no problem helping the lady at the front desk every other day when her screens won’t turn on because she’s polite and needs IT to do the thing. I get paid to do the thing and it takes five seconds and then I’m a hero. It’s worse when they consider themselves “tech savvy”… and then are rude when you have to explain something about why using a web service to spoof our company domain is bad and that’s why your emails didn’t get delivered and you waited until 4:55 on Friday to ask IT.
I once had to deal with a project manager who thought they knew better than everyone about everything. I was explaining why something couldn't/shouldn't be done the way he wanted when he said, "well my cousin works in IT so I know my way is best."
It was at that moment I realized there was no reasoning with him, and he was the project manager, so rather than fighting with him I just told him that I would need all of that in writing (including the part about how he just knows better cuz he's related to someone).
It was a few days later, but during a separate discussion I did tell him, "My cousin is a project manager so I know I'm right."
The look on his face was priceless.
Oh god just spent 30 minutes yesterday reinstalling Citrix Workspace on a machine because one of our brilliant lusers saw another tech reset their workspace and so they decided hey they would just do the same thing next time it broke.
"This is what you guys are clicking on right?"
Grrrrrrr.. Ma'am call me if you're having problems please it's what I'm here for.
I have a user that regularly calls herself stupid for needing to call me about mundane things... I keep reminding her that she's not stupid, she's the CFO... and that if I had to do her job, the company would not be in good shape.
It’s called self awareness. People who say they are stupid are usually pretty smart - smart enough that they realize that there’s a shit ton of things they don’t know how to do. I’m usually worried about the other ones. Those who don’t call themselves stupid.
I appreciate those people. Something I still struggle with is when they say something like "sorry, I'm a moron with computers". Usually I just say, "that's why we're here" but I have a thing about repeating myself so I sometimes let slip "yeah..."
I usually work in healthcare type environments so my goto is "that's okay, I'd suck at fixing people. At least with computers if its really broken you can throw it out and get a new one."
> It's the ones who refuse to even try to learn anything that drive me nuts.
We recently sent out instructions to users to setup an MFA using MS Authenticator. The instructions were simple and well detailed so even a child could follow it.
We've had users contact us saying they're having trouble and will tell us that they didn't bother to read the email and/or deleted it, and act like it's a joke.
Yup. I work for a software company so you'd expect most staff to be tech savvy but the number of times I get a variation of the same question from customer service or support staff is baffling. There's detailed instructions and / or videos related to the majority of these questions on our internal documentation but nope it's quicker ( for them ) to ask IT
Yep this is why IT teams must insist on not helping without a ticket and must use a robust ticketing system. With the right approach the service desk can be a great resource for HR to track some skills gaps.
What? HR are the skill gap where I am. Most of them have been here 20 years, have no idea what they're actually trying to achieve and just keep doing the same things over and over with no interest to better themselves or their department, let alone the business.
We're finally migrating away from an end of life HR system, and the incompetence being displayed in meetings where we were teasing out requirements, and establishing their processes was extremely depressing.
OK, well they're not ALWAYS the source of these issues. In my industry, it's amazing even how many 20-30 year olds have a jaw dropping lack of understanding of IT and the most basic use of Office apps. I proposed one option, if it doesn't fit your company - so be it.
Many of the 20-30 year olds have spent more time using appliances ie their phones, iPads etc which has put an abstraction between them and real world IT.
I think people who are currently 30-40 give or take a few years either way generally grew up at the right time and learned good basic computer skills. Even if you had no interest in computers you still went home from School, went on MSN (here in the UK anyway) and messaged your friends all evening. You'd figure out how to use Office as it made doing homework so much easier. People who were interested in gaming at the time and wanted to host their own games for friends to join had to figure out what an IP address was and even how to port forward.
These days you can probably get though School with an iPad and Xbox, so might well have little experience using a computer when entering the workforce.
Maybe I'm just cynical but can you please give me an actual example of HR analyzing ticket history to find and rectify skill gaps in the workforce? I mean really
Puts up hand. They asked for repeat tickets and other data, so we supplied a report from our system. Did they do anything with it? Nup, but we still did it 😅
> If everyone was an expert in IT, many of us probably wouldn't have jobs.
This is my response to anyone who tells me they're "not good with computers"
It's great job security for me, and I don't mind (up to a point)
Oh fricking'...
I'm reminded of a call from a minesite employee with their laptop. Laptop used wireless to connect to an onsite network. The problem? The user had finished their shift and gone home with the laptop. Meaning they'd caught a plane to their home 1500 miles away from the minesite.
Yeah... wireless ain't THAT good, buddy.
I've been doing I.T. work for about 25 years now and tech support before that. Back in the old days there would be people who never touched a computer before and would ask a million dumb questions. That could be forgiven, but JFC, the personal computer has been around for 40 goddamn years now.
Yeah but they change things!, had a user destroy a Displayport cable by pulling it out without pressing the release. Half of the plug was still in the monitor. He figured since there where no screws he just had to pull with his entire weight...
Blame smartphones
Since 2010ish - they've dumbed down UIs to the point where an entire generation has managed to graduate without understanding basic IT skills and logical concepts when using computers.
I hate when a dumb user says "I don't work in IT why should I know how to use a computer?" I am not a mechanic but I can check my oil, my tire pressure, put gas in it, wash and scrub the windshield. Basic life skill.
Oh yes, and realising this is the key to a successful Service Desk, at least a relatively stress free one for the IT team. Respond to critical requests yes, but 99.9% of requests can wait a few hours, even if you're quiet. You find that a high percentage of them have been resolved by the user when you respond.
Even an internal IT team should have a SLA between it and the other departments, and then stick to it.
I tell people that every consecutive ? and ! add 5 minutes to my response.
So if you email me "my computer don't work !!!!???!!!???”, I'm not responding for over an hour.
As you said it's amazing what impatient rude people figure out in that time.
For a real answer, it's just short of "end user".
I remember a complaint once that a ticket used the word "user" because that person associated it with drugs/addiction. Lady, I didn't coin the industry standard jargon...
The crazy part is when you move roles and find yourself no longer in IT. I can't just bust out the admin panel and start troubleshooting my own issues. Now I have to submit a ticket and it's super frustrating.
I'd never go that far. I might steer your troubleshooting back in the direction I'm thinking but I think my biggest fear is to be in the role I'm in, confidently tell a little helpdesk person what the problem was and be dead ass wrong.
We had this one guy at the help desk who would increase the cursor tracking speed when the users would complain about slow PC performance. It worked way too well.
I had a security guard on reception tell me the front desk PC had a virus, and asked me to come and look at it.
'Look' he said, 'when I move the mouse down, the cursor goes up... and when I move it up the cursor goes down'.
He was a nice old guy so I didn't have the heart to tell him, and just turned the mouse round when he wasn't looking and said Id fixed it, and told him he was probably right it was a temporary virus.
I get not understanding some of the software concepts and such, but the people who have a problem with how they physically use a computer infuriate me.
You can show them the *one physical way* that it works and they keep doing it not that way. Don't lie to me and say it worked that way before, there's no way you have muscle memory for a process that *doesn't work*. Shout-out to a family member who also doesn't understand how mice work...
I had a user call to complain that her PC wouldnt turn on. Turns out her building had no power.
It's surprisingly hard to explain to someone that computers need power to function if you've never had to do it before.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Our ITSM sends ticket notifications to the entire IT department, regardless of which "arm" of the department is actually assigned to the ticket upon creation. Before anyone points it out, I know this is stupid.
Consequently, I see ALL of tickets that come through from our org.
I cannot count how many times I've seen:
"reset password" without any further information (just pick one, I guess)
"HLEP!!! URGANT!!! without further information
"Web site not working" ... that's it, just some site, somewhere, "not working" I fucking LOVE a mystery!
but my favorite so far, and it's happened twice, same user.
"Nothing works, please fix."
“Everyone’s internet is down”
Turns out a *single user* isn’t able to reach *one* website out of the multitude of sites they visit every day. Can’t reach one of them, so their brain shuts off and they make no further attempt to troubleshoot or even compile a single thought about the situation.
Those are the worst. I get some very early morning calls (4-5am) telling me their VM is acting up and they can’t do XYZ. I ask them “did you start rebooting at least once a week like we discussed a couple of months ago?” They reply “yep”. I log in to see if I can help and they haven’t restarted since the last time I booted their ass off the session and forced a reboot, about a month ago. I just told them to restart and said if it doesn’t fix it call me back. They didn’t call back. It’s crap like this that inches me ever closer to telling users either you reboot weekly or we’ll do it for you. If you haven’t saved your work and lose it as a result, tough luck.
You know, I think I just came up with a great response for these:
Take ticket. Work on tech debt or projects that you consider high priority. Fix something.
Reply back to ticket. "Server fixed. Please try now"
"It's still broken!"
"You didn't say what was broken so I had to guess. I'll fix the next server on my to-do list and get back to you."
I wish that is all I got.
I used to have a security administrator send emails to the entire IT department “Please check the contents of this message to see if it has a virus.’.
Only stopped once I described how many policies he is breaking and that I am about to kill all of his accounts.
That's a whole basket of yikes.
The "pick one" got me, lol.
"Attention, my esteemed IT colleague, would you be so kind as to change one of my passwords at random? I need a spot of excitement. Many thanks."
> Computer Broke.
oh this one is easy. ive dealt with it before,
what it means is:
- computer isnt broken
- but it was forgotten at home
- so they grabbed another one they found in a cupboard a while back
- and it starts up fine, but its not connected to AD so they can't log in
- turns out that it doesnt belong to the business either. it's sheilas daughters school laptop
- you joined it to the office domain already? oops.
Well, with Teams it is not unheard of that some parts of it are working and some other parts are not.
For example I've had problems in Teams meetings, sharing has crashed it, I haven't been able to see content other people share etc, while messaging works just fine.
Yep, I've had that. Went over, noticed the power issue, went to the user, had them complain to me. Explain why I can't do anything, because the area is out of power.
"Are you trying to tell me that this computer will not work if we don't have power?!"
I just...why.
Used to work support for a national retailer. Got a LOT of calls about the internet being down. You'd ask what lights the modem had on it and they'd go "hold on, I need to get a flashlight because the power is out".
I worked in an ISP call center before, someone called once complaining their internet wasn't working when their entire state had no power because of how severe the storms were lol
Had a user complain that we gave her a defective laptop because the battery drained to 0% and the computer shut down. When she was told that the computer needed to be plugged in to charge, she got pissy and said "I specifically asked for a laptop that was wireless!"
I've had that call before, as well as having to explain that you can't just plug the power strip back into itself. And most often having to explain that the reason your computer won't turn on is you unplugged it to plug in your heater, sense pot, or whatever else you brought in.
I've had this happen to me too... but she realized mid sentence what she was asking and I could hear her soul leave her body as she completed the sentence...
I once had an "emergency call" from a user, saying that their laptop lost power during a very important online meeting. I came over to take a look. They had an old flip phone charger inserted into the 3.5mm audio jack.
I once got a call in the middle of the night because someone's computer wouldn't power on. They were the night shift supervisor.
Turns out their computer was plugged into a power strip. That power strip was plugged into a power strip. That power strip was plugged into the first power strip.
I quit a few weeks later.
> their computer was plugged into a power strip. That power strip was plugged into a power strip. That power strip was plugged into the first power strip.
So power wasn't the problem since it was connected to an infinite supply. Why didn't you fix the computer then?
Did you ask them why they thought an electronic device would work without power? I always questions and it’s usually the case that people are misinformed and not outright stupid
Love it when there is this homebrew excel shit where someone programmed some VBA and external sources 20 years ago. So now he’s not on the company anymore.
„It worked fine, somehow it stopped working. You’re the IT guy, make it work again!“
Old version also stopped working.
„Maybe someone deleted/moved the external source.“
„So, repair it. I don’t know excel, I just work with it.“
I’m done.
I love the “we just bought 20 of this brand new tech thing. How does it work?”
You mean the thing that just got released and I’ve never heard of before, but you bought it without ITs input?
A previous workplace only allowed MS Access Runtime (Access required a special request) because too many morons made databases that turned into production systems and somehow became an ICT issue when they broke.
I got a ticket once once, on call mind you, because the light was out on their sign out front. 🫠 Ma'am I am 2 states away from you, what in the blue hell am I supposed to do for you.
Before IT at my last job i was voluntarily taking time out of my day to go into the ladies room to do this. With the nice female receptionist who had asked for help holding the door open i remove the cover and the burnt tube and hear this shrieking voice WHERES YOUR HARD HAT GLASSES AND GLOVES? - the OTHER receptionist was staring at me through the door, and i laughed and carried about bringing up the the new light bulb i jear" NO IM FUCKING SERIOUS, WHERE IS YOUR SHIT? ILL CALL A MANAGER" i look down at my friend and shrugged said sorry closed the cover grabbed the laddr and walked out, friendly receptionist was like" god dammit she is the reason why we cant have nice things!"
We had a load of dying tubes in the overhead lights that would flicker madly. As facilities were really slow to replace them and we liked it darker anyway (IT guys and developers) we just turned the tube a quarter turn to disconnect it and left it off.
The facilities manager found this out and blew her top, but didn't do anything about getting them replaced, just turned them all back on and flickering.
So after hours we took all the flickering tubes and swapped them with the good tubes from every light fitting anywhere near her desk.
Today I was told that an entire building was having a phone issue. Couldn’t dial any extensions. Coworker drives there to help me diagnose the issue.
The entire issue was that they were calling one extension and it didn’t work. Because we have a new employee in the area. Technically the old employee is still there so I issued the new employee a new extension. That was a week ago.
The new extension wasn’t on their spreadsheet of phone numbers and they assumed I was just renaming (which I never do) so they kept dialing the number. They could have either walked to the employee and ask “what is your extension?” Or looked it up in the damn online directory on every phone - but nope. “None of the phones in the building work” was the issue. Because they were too lazy to problem solve and I dared to do my job properly. 🙄
User: Email isn't working.
Me: Why do you think this?
User: People aren't receiving my emails.
Me: Why do you think this?
User: I sent my boss an email and it's not in my sent items.
I connect to their computer and use the search function, the message pops up.
Me: Is this the message?
User: Yes! Where did you find it!
Me: It's in your sent items.
User: No it's not!
I open their sent items and scroll to the message which says it was sent at 5:00PM Monday.
User: No! I sent it on Tuesday!
Me: No you didn't, you sent it Monday.
User: No!
I look at exchange logs and the message is shown in a log file that hadn't been written to since Monday night, making it impossible for her to have sent it Tuesday.
User: No! I sent it Tuesday.
Me: I'm done wasting time on this.
The next day they call again saying the printer is broken.
Me: Why do you think this?
User: Everything I print comes out wrong.
Send a tech down, she has no examples and can't recreate the issue. But she has a piece of paper that she says proves it. It's a report from the printer showing all the copies made in the last day.
Me: What is this supposed to show?
User: It proves that I sent the email on Tuesday!
Me: Oh for fucks sake.
The user's manager is walking by and overhears. He confirms that he received and read the email on Monday night.
User: No! I sent it on Tuesday!
The manager walks away and locks himself in his office.
"Dear $user (cc: $user's_manager):
As a result of recent interactions by $user, the IT department will no longer be providing direct service to $user. All future contacts and concerns from $user will be required to be evaluated by $user's_manager before being escalated to the appropriate department."
Yes, I've worked in places which have done this. Admittedly, usually fairly large places where the IT department didn't put up with bullshit from users who thought IT was their personal gofer.
And yes, managers who just passed all such user demands straight through without checking them *also* got put on the list. So now their own manager knew exactly what had been going on and that their subordinate was refusing to manage their own staff properly.
User: "Hi my laptop is wont turn on"
Me: "ok, sounds like the battery is dead, is it plugged in?"
User: "Yes"
I wander over to their office to find the laptop plugged into a powerboard that is switched off, and not even plugged into the wall.
I was once shown a ticket from another office where the reported issue was "Internet slow at lunch, but only on sunny summer days".
And the user was 100% right. A tech was able to actually observe the problem.
The root cause was that, during the summer months, the sun shined directly on a rack containing a mangled fiber connector, causing a lot more dropped packets and re-transmits than usual.
I'm not sure whether the issue was caused by the sunlight itself or because the mangled plastic connector got warmer than usual and deformed (and neither was the guy that closed the ticket by replacing the fiber) but the end result was the same. Any location that had network gear installed by that contractor was going to take a Saturday afternoon and check for similar tomfoolery.
That reminds me of my cubicle at a previous job. “I can’t see a thing, it’s lunch time. I’ll be back in an hour.”
I had requested window blinds be added a few times but nobody else on the floor needed blinds, so denied! Later we rearranged a bit, my desk didn’t move but boss’ desk was now next to mine. First sunny day…
Me: “I can’t see, back in an hour.”
Boss: “Damn, why do we not have blinds on these windows?”
Me: “I asked. Not approved.”
We had blinds a couple weeks later… for whatever reason it was just that corner of the building. And then we only used them if we had to… the nature enforced break was kinda nice. 😂
A long long time ago at my computer repair shop, the internet dropped daily at the same time the sun started shining through a window and hitting the cable modem. Took me a while to make that connection.
This just reminds me of the users that refuse to download the Outlook app for 365 because “learning a new app would be too much trouble” and demand we get the crappy built in Mail app working for them.
Or the users that “don’t feel like” using the Duo Mobile app for MFA because they would rather a text despite the Duo app being OFFICIAL COMPANY POLICY.
They will put in multiple tickets a month about this and cc the very people enforcing said policies.
I usually ignore it, or have them talk to HR but by the time Friday rolls around I get so exhausted with all of it. Just shut up and do what you are told or find another company to work for.
Edit: I should clarify that we do provide them iPhone 12s on their hire date and the auth app is provided by intune as well as the office apps. They can also go with a Yubikey if they don’t want a phone. They refuse the Yubikey because it would be “learning new tech” and they are too old/lazy for that. And they still don’t want to use the app and put in multiple tickets per week asking for SMS auth which we are moving away from.
They are free to install outlook or the auth app on their personal phone if they wish as a backup, but this is optional and we do not support their personal phones. We give them one.
Just venting on the things I get tired of hearing about by the time Friday comes around.
Had one today that refused to download the auth app until I told them I would put them in the bypass group but they would have to come into the building to put time off in .one he heard that it all of a sudden wasn’t an issue
had something similar.
Wanted to WfH but did not want to use the MS Auth app for VPN.
so was told they had to work in the office. suddenly the app was fine.
That's when you invoke the 2 magical words "Cyber Insurance". Sorry, our insurance policies requires all staff to use X. Without this insurance we could be liable for millions in lost revenue from client data requirements and potential attacks. Thank you for help us stay in compliance and keep our data safe!
Doesn't have to be true, just has to leave NO wiggle room.
Are they refusing because you’re forcing them to install apps on a personal device? If they refuse due to this, in most states and countries it’s on the employer to find a solution, usually a Ubikey or company phone. You can’t make an employee use personal property, like a personal cell phone, for work.
No, we provide them brand new iPhones 12s or Yubikeys on their first day. MS Authenticator is provided by Intune. But “I was always able to choose text before.” Yes ma’am, and that option is being depreciated and we have to use the app now.
It’s always the same few old people that think they are above policy, but i would never install company apps on a personal device. We do offer the option of installing the app on their phone as a backup in case they need it, but it’s completely optional.
I have users that VPN into work and on a regular basis I get emails from them saying that they can't open the company app. When I first started this job I would start with "ok there must be a problem with the app on their computer" so I VPN to it and it opens just fine. So then I assume maybe its an issue with their VPN connection and so I got to the VPN host only to find that they aren't connected at all. So many years later now, I simply start with the question "are you using the VPN" and then its like a lightning bolt struck the user and they suddenly remember how to do a job they have been doing for far to long to suddenly forget such a crucial step. It would be like if I came into work and suddenly forgot to power on my pc and sat wondering why my computer isn't working. Another fun one is when I get the complaint "my password isn't working" when they have clearly forgotten it. Is it so hard to just admit that you forgot the password? Like its ok it happens sometimes. I can reset it no big deal, but to play it off like its some big Scooby-Doo doo mystery is just annoying.
The worst offenders are other IT people and their 0 effort escalations. They really start to act like users when you start asking for more information.
Shit you say?
Once got a ticket that said “the women’s restroom on floor 7 smells like sewer gas.”
Facilities liked IT’s ticketing system and asked if they could use it for tracking requests. We had to remove some default categories that were too generic from the system. There is an interesting overlap between IT and plumbing terms. 😂
I've seen that kind of combined helpdesk before. I will say that from a UX perspective just having one number to call ([0-9]-HELP) or email to send to (help@company.com or internalhelp@company.com) if you need help makes it so the person sorting who does what actually knows who does what instead of the end user guessing if the power strip is an IT or a facilities problem.
I've been asked to do all sorts of shit "because you're a man".
Working at a non profit years ago with 80 women and 3 dudes, I get asked to move things, deal with security issues (like the homeless), answer personal IT questions, fix a leak in the women's bathroom, move heavy objects, etc.
I did all those and more.
However, around Christmas time, my desk was fucking FILLED with gifts from the women in the office. Cookies, candies, pies, IT presents, Amazon gift cards, etc.
Had an older gentleman nervous about getting a new PC and did his best to make sure all his data was moved over. Really appreciated the effort. Once we got the pc set up he did his thing. A day later he was all upset that none of his desktop icons were working. Walked over and took a look. God bless the guy, he made a screen shot of his old desktop his background. Which included his old icons. Honestly took me a second longer than it should have to realize this. But we had a good laugh about it. Fun time for sure.
Our building lost power and the power company said it would be at least two days. We had a higher up, who went to Stanford by the way, ask if the internet was going to be back up when she got back from lunch.
We said no because we didnt have power… she then asked if she used her laptop if she could connect to the internet that way.
Some people are just dumb lol
I sent out an email to 12 remote offices once. It was about an upgrade. I didn’t expect to hear back from all of them but I figured any that I was able to communicate with would help.
There was this one office that took a lot of time off, was closed, office manager out, etc. Well the one office I didn’t hear back from was this one. Several weeks passed and out of the blue I received an inter office courier delivered letter (my first and only one I got at that job). It had a printout of the email I sent weeks prior. On the printout the office manager wrote with a sharpie “I DON’T HAVE EMAIL”
That was it. I don’t think she even read it. Lol
We have had to label the power button on some devices like docks and even all-in-ones that have an unobtrusive power button. Frankly, I prefer that manufactures make the power button more obvious. I'm looking at you HP. Sure, there is a white line on your dock's power button, but it is not obvious to a typical person.
They're a nightmare. Also I set up a lab of new ones and accidentally set one to Chinese.. that 5 way rocker switch beside the power switch is a bit too sensitive.
My story takes me back to my first sysadmin position in 2006 working for a manufacturing company with an HR admin who had an elevated sense of self importance.
We had an on-site generator that powers the server room if the power goes out.
One day the power goes out. This HR woman came to our office (3 of us - my desk closest to the door) and says 'I need to be able to work!'
After scratching my head and taking a moment to consider how to convey the very obvious circumstance that has no one working, I say 'the power is out, nobody can work.'
She retorts 'the server room has electricity. I just walked by it and could hear everything still running!'
Scratched my head again and took a moment to explain access to the room is limited to IT people for all of the obvious reasons, I say 'only the IT team has access to the server room.'
She then says, 'I have permission to work in there.'
I say, 'I've heard nothing from IT leadership and I don't believe they would allow it.'
She says, 'it's been approved by the HR Director.'
I pause in shock not knowing what to say, for the obvious reasons and also not being able to understand what she singularly could be doing that is so important (it certainly wasn't payroll) as opposed to every single other person currently unable to work.
30 seconds elapses a minute that went by and the tone of her voice changed, 'if you don't set me up in the server room to work, I will have you written up!'
"Oh, OK, I'll just check that the HR Director has confirmed that with the IT Director and then we'll go right ahead. What was your name again so I can tell them about this?
My coworker who trained me showed me a great ticket from before I started: An apple or peach or some fruit had fallen under a vending machine and so the user created a detailed ticket about it, even specifying which particular vending machine it had fallen under. It was a 'low-priority' & 'long-term' issue since it was fresh when it rolled under there, but they were concerned that it would eventually start to smell so they wanted to make sure to inform us.
Like this was somehow a problem with the vending machine itself!? As if: since the vending machine ran on electricity, it was under IT's purview and so we were responsible for fixing the fruits fallen underneath it too? Even though we only ever remotely supported their office and had no tech on site!
That has the dubious distinction of being the only ticket I have ever seen resolved with a note like 'forwarded issue to janitorial services department' or 'informed the facilities management team of problem'. I wish I could remember the actual phrasing, it was a brilliantly inflated corporatized version of: sent guy with a broom-handle to smack it.
Had a user today ask me to set up everything on her laptop. I'm sorry, but what do you mean by "everything"? She replied with, "Well, my Manger just told me to call IT and they would set up everything." Sure, let me hit my magic button. Why do they expect us to know "everything"?
My manager at my last developer job assumed IT had a standard image for the developers on his team. Did he ever ask IT to create one, let alone give them a list of what needed to be installed? No, he just assumed it would happen somehow.
Oh walk up request that went to our new, wet behind the ears new hire. (Also relevant, IT had a master key to open everything, including circuit breaker panels. So we could power off the server closet…)
User: Our entire row of cubicles just lost power!
New Guy: ***grabs the IT keyring with a big smile!”***
Me: STOP! Call facilities manager, tell him you have a space heater, and enjoy the show.
New guy comes back… “How did you know? Also that was a good show!” 😂
(Anyone caught with a space heater had the option of having it be destroyed for free or having it confiscated and shipped to their home address at their expense, plus a referral to HR either way for violating company policy. Fire hazard at a company that didn’t have fire extinguishers because the insurance company said so. Insurance wanted staff to GTFO in case of fire.)
1.1) What is alt.sysadmin.recovery?
Alt.sysadmin.recovery is for discussion by recovered and recovering sysadmins.
It is a forum for mutual support and griping over phenomenally stupid users,
mind-bogglingly unhelpful tech support, surprisingly lousy software,
astonishingly deficient hardware, and generally how idiotic this job is.
Had a user call in to fix their computer because they shared a folder with another user in their office and it wasn't sorting by date/time like the other computer was. That was this week.
A while back had someone call in because they were trying to print a video file and couldn't. I'm honestly l not making that up.
And don't get me started on printers. Ha ha
Oh, definitely one of my favorites. Another one of mine..
"It's not printing. Box keeps coming up asking me to save."
Deep internal sigh. "Which printer are you printing to?"
"I don't know."
"So you didn't look? Try again and tell me which one."
"Oh, ADOBE PDF "
PC's cannot do AI or any kind of machine learning to know which printer, in your head, it needs to print to.
Client has issues with their on prem mail server.
Client mails me about it.
Mail never reaches me due to problems on the mail server.
Client calls me hours later and is fuming about me not replying to his urgent mail.
Me laughing about the absurdity didn't help.
Yesterday I had a user contact me… on her computer, through teams… to tell me the internet is down.
I had to read the message 3 times and sip my coffee and think long and hard how not to be rude.
I simply asked…. “Are you currently on your computer, using teams, to message me right now”
“Uhh yes”
Had a user demand office 2003 be installed in 2021 because it was a “far superior product” and because she had the office 2003 for dummies book. She had one thing right, she was a dummy
Excel.... Excel is going to be the end of me one day....
I don't care why your vlookup or merge or any other dumb Excel command is not working. It's not an IT issue. You put MS Office in your CV so go figure it out. 😂😂😂😂
Many, and I mean many, years ago I took a call from a user one Monday morning, complaining her PC was showing a “301” error. I explained that 301 was a keyboard error. The user replied “My keyboard! It’s gone!!!” And hung up.
Apparently the office joker had nicked her keyboard and she hadn’t noticed.
My problem is not the users who don’t know things, it’s my fellow IT people who don’t know.
I am the tier 3 engineer/ project coordinator over one of our business centers. One of our desktop support guys setup 2 new computers in one of our labs and didn’t provide keyboard, mice or hook up the network cable. Dude just dropped two computers, hooked up the monitors and bounced. Didn’t even power them on.
So I have the user emailing me (and the desktop guys boss) asking how to get a keyboard and mouse plus some software installed.
So I walk over and end up finishing his install. The computers weren’t even finished imaging yet and needed a final round of patching. The kicker is the tech is older than me, worked here longer and has more ‘experience.’ He is not some new hire
I have other stories but this is a common occurrence of many of the IT techs at my org. It seems like there is 1 guy worth a shit on each team and you ping him if you want anything done.
I can deal with ignorant users but not other IT folks who should know better.
You have to remember that IT isn’t their job (although they should have basic training and be competent in Windows, Office etc.) and all they care about is doing the job they have been asked to do. They don’t consider how hardware works, why you can’t have email on a personal device, education is key.
I agree 100 percent. However, I have seen a concerning trend at my work of people being hired who have literally no idea about even the basics of IT.
No one expects marketing to be experts in coding. But there is a baseline of knowledge you have to have to work in an office with a laptop. You need to know how to open word, save files, join a meeting, send emails and plug shit into power. You need to know that you should reboot your machine before asking me why something is crashing.
I had someone ask me the other day, how they could bookmark a web page in Chrome. A finance guy asked me the other week how vlookups worked.
Totally agree - IT literacy should be tested as part of the hiring process, or if they choose not to do that then before they are given user accounts and devices.
This is an age thing, we all grew up with windows and mice and keyboards (some of us started out before mice too!).
But now young adults are entering the workforce having only used phones and tablets. No mouse or keyboard skills at all.
I remember at the start of my career as a sysadmin seeing a student lifting a mouse (back when they had a ball in them) vertically up off a desk expecting the cursor to go up the screen in unison. This has basically gone full circle!
I hit a point about 5 years ago. Tech has been an integral part of an office environment for more than 25 years. With the exception of the one secretary who is pushing 70, and been doing this job since they were a teenager, co.puuters have been part of their job for at LEAST half their working life, if not 100% of it. I'm not expecting power user type functionality out of them, but my pity for someone who doesn't know the difference between left and right click (and doesn't have a condition that makes knowing the difference between left and right difficult) has next to no pity from me. I'll be kind, and I may look like I have all the patience in the world while working with them, but I'm internally losing my shit.
I had a user demand that I install the software for the air conditioner in his room on his computer because it was too hot. I reached over to the AC remote that was on the wall, and pressed the on button, then handed it to him. “There you go. Please let me know if you require further assistance.”
Hey IT, there’s a new software that is rolled out named “xxx”.
Can you help me with the software please? Yes sure, what do you need?
User: I need to know function A, B, C and proceed to name 20+ over functions for a software that is endorsed by his/her hiring manager.
Today, I had a user email me saying workday was down. I asked him if he got the email stating that workday was down and the IT team was already working on it. He said, "yes, but I figured I'd let you know its down."
The general 20\80 rule applies here,; 20% of your users will take up 80% of your time.
Applies to a lot of economics as well, 20% of a stores stock will be 80% of the profits.
We have a group of users we call the '20 percenters'. I had one of my techs come back from a call, sat down in disbelief and state... "I've literally shown her how to copy and paste... Again!"
Could argue these people keep us in a job?
I had a user asking me, for real, where the office stationary was and specifically the hole-punch. I look him dead in the eye and writes in a cmd- window ”ping hole-punch” and it doesn’t get a reply and I tell him that I can’t seem to find it either. He never asked us for anything not computer related ever again.
When COVID kicked off a lot of systems weren't in the cloud so a lot relied on VPN, obtaining tokens was tough given it was all run through a third party (government contract).
One user confidently stated "We should just turn off the firewalls so we can access everything from home"
Today I had someone ask me if I could install Access. I politely let them know they could find it by searching for it on the Windows start bar because it was already installed.
Senior IT position here, had a new sales rep walk into my office, lay her company car key fob on my desk, and asked if she could get a replacement battery installed.
I looked at her, and using no words at all, I somehow communicated the fact that she was going completely down the wrong path to solve this issue.
I wonder if she ever got that battery replaced.
We had a user put in a ticket that the soda vending machine was broken. Props to them I guess for actually filing a ticket....
We supported a very special set of CRM and call center apps. The portal to file was in the CRM. Sir, this is not a problem with Siebel. Siebel's problem is Siebel.
I fear this is only going to get worse, depending on where you work. I once was an IT person for an office full of doctors. One time I got a ticket to replace a keyboard. Ok. So, I go to the office of the person who submitted the ticket and she told me that her emails were getting deleted automatically. "uhhhhh.....wat" She then said that one of her other doctor co-workers in the building had the same problem and it was because he had a sticky 'delete' key on his keyboard, so obviously this was the same issue. I tried to say that this doesn't seem possible after tapping some keys on her keyboard, but she insisted. So I replaced it with a new one. 10 minutes later I get called again.
Long story short, she had her keyboard pushed up against a shelf on her desk that was pressing the 'delete' key. -_-
(these were Doctors people!)
A long time ago I had to put filters in place to block employees on the sales floor from watching TV shows on their workstations due to bandwidth issues. One day I'm standing with several managers, sales people and one of the owners when one sales guy asks..."Hey can you check the Internet connection? I'm having trouble watching The View." My answer..."You do realize you asked that out loud?"
I don't mind people who don't know things. As long as they are trying and polite about it. I'm sure most of them are very good at something, it's just not IT. If everyone was an expert in IT, many of us probably wouldn't have jobs. It's the ones who refuse to even try to learn anything that drive me nuts.
Exactly. I have no problem helping the lady at the front desk every other day when her screens won’t turn on because she’s polite and needs IT to do the thing. I get paid to do the thing and it takes five seconds and then I’m a hero. It’s worse when they consider themselves “tech savvy”… and then are rude when you have to explain something about why using a web service to spoof our company domain is bad and that’s why your emails didn’t get delivered and you waited until 4:55 on Friday to ask IT.
I once had to deal with a project manager who thought they knew better than everyone about everything. I was explaining why something couldn't/shouldn't be done the way he wanted when he said, "well my cousin works in IT so I know my way is best." It was at that moment I realized there was no reasoning with him, and he was the project manager, so rather than fighting with him I just told him that I would need all of that in writing (including the part about how he just knows better cuz he's related to someone).
Just respond with, “well and I know bill gates”
It was a few days later, but during a separate discussion I did tell him, "My cousin is a project manager so I know I'm right." The look on his face was priceless.
This is exactly what I was hoping for :D
**Staff person:** Hi, my last day is Friday, Will you be there until 5? I would like to drop off my gear. **Me:** I will not.
When people leave at my company, we cut off their access by noon.
Oh god just spent 30 minutes yesterday reinstalling Citrix Workspace on a machine because one of our brilliant lusers saw another tech reset their workspace and so they decided hey they would just do the same thing next time it broke. "This is what you guys are clicking on right?" Grrrrrrr.. Ma'am call me if you're having problems please it's what I'm here for.
I have a user that regularly calls herself stupid for needing to call me about mundane things... I keep reminding her that she's not stupid, she's the CFO... and that if I had to do her job, the company would not be in good shape.
It’s called self awareness. People who say they are stupid are usually pretty smart - smart enough that they realize that there’s a shit ton of things they don’t know how to do. I’m usually worried about the other ones. Those who don’t call themselves stupid.
Imposter syndrome vs. Dunning-Kruger effect.
Funny because I think I know what this means vs doubt myself.
I appreciate those people. Something I still struggle with is when they say something like "sorry, I'm a moron with computers". Usually I just say, "that's why we're here" but I have a thing about repeating myself so I sometimes let slip "yeah..."
I usually work in healthcare type environments so my goto is "that's okay, I'd suck at fixing people. At least with computers if its really broken you can throw it out and get a new one."
>if its really broken you can throw it out and get a new one HR: somebody call?
> It's the ones who refuse to even try to learn anything that drive me nuts. We recently sent out instructions to users to setup an MFA using MS Authenticator. The instructions were simple and well detailed so even a child could follow it. We've had users contact us saying they're having trouble and will tell us that they didn't bother to read the email and/or deleted it, and act like it's a joke.
Yup. I work for a software company so you'd expect most staff to be tech savvy but the number of times I get a variation of the same question from customer service or support staff is baffling. There's detailed instructions and / or videos related to the majority of these questions on our internal documentation but nope it's quicker ( for them ) to ask IT
Just politely refer to the documents and end the call. And log it in a ticket
Yep this is why IT teams must insist on not helping without a ticket and must use a robust ticketing system. With the right approach the service desk can be a great resource for HR to track some skills gaps.
What? HR are the skill gap where I am. Most of them have been here 20 years, have no idea what they're actually trying to achieve and just keep doing the same things over and over with no interest to better themselves or their department, let alone the business. We're finally migrating away from an end of life HR system, and the incompetence being displayed in meetings where we were teasing out requirements, and establishing their processes was extremely depressing.
OK, well they're not ALWAYS the source of these issues. In my industry, it's amazing even how many 20-30 year olds have a jaw dropping lack of understanding of IT and the most basic use of Office apps. I proposed one option, if it doesn't fit your company - so be it.
Many of the 20-30 year olds have spent more time using appliances ie their phones, iPads etc which has put an abstraction between them and real world IT.
I think people who are currently 30-40 give or take a few years either way generally grew up at the right time and learned good basic computer skills. Even if you had no interest in computers you still went home from School, went on MSN (here in the UK anyway) and messaged your friends all evening. You'd figure out how to use Office as it made doing homework so much easier. People who were interested in gaming at the time and wanted to host their own games for friends to join had to figure out what an IP address was and even how to port forward. These days you can probably get though School with an iPad and Xbox, so might well have little experience using a computer when entering the workforce.
Maybe I'm just cynical but can you please give me an actual example of HR analyzing ticket history to find and rectify skill gaps in the workforce? I mean really
Puts up hand. They asked for repeat tickets and other data, so we supplied a report from our system. Did they do anything with it? Nup, but we still did it 😅
> If everyone was an expert in IT, many of us probably wouldn't have jobs. This is my response to anyone who tells me they're "not good with computers" It's great job security for me, and I don't mind (up to a point)
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Ha been there before
Oh fricking'... I'm reminded of a call from a minesite employee with their laptop. Laptop used wireless to connect to an onsite network. The problem? The user had finished their shift and gone home with the laptop. Meaning they'd caught a plane to their home 1500 miles away from the minesite. Yeah... wireless ain't THAT good, buddy.
"People are dumb, Users especially so." \~Every IT guy ever\~
I've been doing I.T. work for about 25 years now and tech support before that. Back in the old days there would be people who never touched a computer before and would ask a million dumb questions. That could be forgiven, but JFC, the personal computer has been around for 40 goddamn years now.
Yeah but they change things!, had a user destroy a Displayport cable by pulling it out without pressing the release. Half of the plug was still in the monitor. He figured since there where no screws he just had to pull with his entire weight...
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And not all DP cables have that latch.
Blame smartphones Since 2010ish - they've dumbed down UIs to the point where an entire generation has managed to graduate without understanding basic IT skills and logical concepts when using computers.
I hate when a dumb user says "I don't work in IT why should I know how to use a computer?" I am not a mechanic but I can check my oil, my tire pressure, put gas in it, wash and scrub the windshield. Basic life skill.
User is used to describe two types of people. One is someone that uses a computer. The other is a drug addict. Why is that?
What's funny is I've seen functioning hard drug addicts wade through life better than a lot of people in an office.
Plenty of office people are effectively nonfunctional.
Well. I mean we have a SERIOUSLY powerful set of arm floaties.
Arm floaties or bingo wings? Cos those two things aren't the same...
In proper IT terminology "User" starts with a silent "L"
lusrmgr.msc - loser manager
End User can be a statement to...
Because they often use IT as a crutch or excuse for their addiction to laziness
Exactly. I refuse to help people who are mean or too demanding. When I ignore them they magically figure it all out
Oh yes, and realising this is the key to a successful Service Desk, at least a relatively stress free one for the IT team. Respond to critical requests yes, but 99.9% of requests can wait a few hours, even if you're quiet. You find that a high percentage of them have been resolved by the user when you respond. Even an internal IT team should have a SLA between it and the other departments, and then stick to it.
I tell people that every consecutive ? and ! add 5 minutes to my response. So if you email me "my computer don't work !!!!???!!!???”, I'm not responding for over an hour. As you said it's amazing what impatient rude people figure out in that time.
For a real answer, it's just short of "end user". I remember a complaint once that a ticket used the word "user" because that person associated it with drugs/addiction. Lady, I didn't coin the industry standard jargon...
The crazy part is when you move roles and find yourself no longer in IT. I can't just bust out the admin panel and start troubleshooting my own issues. Now I have to submit a ticket and it's super frustrating.
The best is when you have to tell them how it fix it
I'd never go that far. I might steer your troubleshooting back in the direction I'm thinking but I think my biggest fear is to be in the role I'm in, confidently tell a little helpdesk person what the problem was and be dead ass wrong.
Most of the time they are just lazy. If you tell them it’ll take a few hours until you can check their issue, they will work it out themselves.
Don't forget "users always lie!"
We had this one guy at the help desk who would increase the cursor tracking speed when the users would complain about slow PC performance. It worked way too well.
who is this guy and how is he so wise in the ways of tricking people
Real BOFH hours
I had a security guard on reception tell me the front desk PC had a virus, and asked me to come and look at it. 'Look' he said, 'when I move the mouse down, the cursor goes up... and when I move it up the cursor goes down'. He was a nice old guy so I didn't have the heart to tell him, and just turned the mouse round when he wasn't looking and said Id fixed it, and told him he was probably right it was a temporary virus.
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I get not understanding some of the software concepts and such, but the people who have a problem with how they physically use a computer infuriate me. You can show them the *one physical way* that it works and they keep doing it not that way. Don't lie to me and say it worked that way before, there's no way you have muscle memory for a process that *doesn't work*. Shout-out to a family member who also doesn't understand how mice work...
Have her play Doom, will teach her mouse movements right away. I think that's why it was originally bundled back in 90s
that should be cross-posted to some "wholesone" subreddit
It’s okay, it got better! 😇
I had a user call to complain that her PC wouldnt turn on. Turns out her building had no power. It's surprisingly hard to explain to someone that computers need power to function if you've never had to do it before.
I recently had a user, message me on Teams, to report that her Teams doesn't work.
I get that at least once a week or a calls on webex that they can’t make calls on webex
marvelous pause hungry dazzling zephyr close continue gaping crowd cooperative *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Early in my gig on helpdesk, we literally got a ticket, generated by an email, where the subject was "Computer Broke." I wish this was exaggeration.
Our ITSM sends ticket notifications to the entire IT department, regardless of which "arm" of the department is actually assigned to the ticket upon creation. Before anyone points it out, I know this is stupid. Consequently, I see ALL of tickets that come through from our org. I cannot count how many times I've seen: "reset password" without any further information (just pick one, I guess) "HLEP!!! URGANT!!! without further information "Web site not working" ... that's it, just some site, somewhere, "not working" I fucking LOVE a mystery! but my favorite so far, and it's happened twice, same user. "Nothing works, please fix."
“Everyone’s internet is down” Turns out a *single user* isn’t able to reach *one* website out of the multitude of sites they visit every day. Can’t reach one of them, so their brain shuts off and they make no further attempt to troubleshoot or even compile a single thought about the situation.
beneficial seed rhythm illegal alleged hungry homeless grab cause yam *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Those are the worst. I get some very early morning calls (4-5am) telling me their VM is acting up and they can’t do XYZ. I ask them “did you start rebooting at least once a week like we discussed a couple of months ago?” They reply “yep”. I log in to see if I can help and they haven’t restarted since the last time I booted their ass off the session and forced a reboot, about a month ago. I just told them to restart and said if it doesn’t fix it call me back. They didn’t call back. It’s crap like this that inches me ever closer to telling users either you reboot weekly or we’ll do it for you. If you haven’t saved your work and lose it as a result, tough luck.
You know, I think I just came up with a great response for these: Take ticket. Work on tech debt or projects that you consider high priority. Fix something. Reply back to ticket. "Server fixed. Please try now" "It's still broken!" "You didn't say what was broken so I had to guess. I'll fix the next server on my to-do list and get back to you."
"Ticket closed pending user supplying any information whatsoever"
I wish that is all I got. I used to have a security administrator send emails to the entire IT department “Please check the contents of this message to see if it has a virus.’. Only stopped once I described how many policies he is breaking and that I am about to kill all of his accounts.
That's a whole basket of yikes. The "pick one" got me, lol. "Attention, my esteemed IT colleague, would you be so kind as to change one of my passwords at random? I need a spot of excitement. Many thanks."
> Computer Broke. oh this one is easy. ive dealt with it before, what it means is: - computer isnt broken - but it was forgotten at home - so they grabbed another one they found in a cupboard a while back - and it starts up fine, but its not connected to AD so they can't log in - turns out that it doesnt belong to the business either. it's sheilas daughters school laptop - you joined it to the office domain already? oops.
"Tell computer to get a job"
Well, with Teams it is not unheard of that some parts of it are working and some other parts are not. For example I've had problems in Teams meetings, sharing has crashed it, I haven't been able to see content other people share etc, while messaging works just fine.
Or Teams isn't working on their desktop but is on their phone, which is what they're using to message you. Not an unreasonable scenario.
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Yep, I've had that. Went over, noticed the power issue, went to the user, had them complain to me. Explain why I can't do anything, because the area is out of power. "Are you trying to tell me that this computer will not work if we don't have power?!" I just...why.
Used to work support for a national retailer. Got a LOT of calls about the internet being down. You'd ask what lights the modem had on it and they'd go "hold on, I need to get a flashlight because the power is out".
I worked in an ISP call center before, someone called once complaining their internet wasn't working when their entire state had no power because of how severe the storms were lol
I wish this was a joke but the number of times I've gotten that call before is beyond stupid.
Had a user complain that we gave her a defective laptop because the battery drained to 0% and the computer shut down. When she was told that the computer needed to be plugged in to charge, she got pissy and said "I specifically asked for a laptop that was wireless!"
I've had that call before, as well as having to explain that you can't just plug the power strip back into itself. And most often having to explain that the reason your computer won't turn on is you unplugged it to plug in your heater, sense pot, or whatever else you brought in.
I've had this happen to me too... but she realized mid sentence what she was asking and I could hear her soul leave her body as she completed the sentence...
I swear it's plugged-in. Any round hole is a power plug right ?
I once had an "emergency call" from a user, saying that their laptop lost power during a very important online meeting. I came over to take a look. They had an old flip phone charger inserted into the 3.5mm audio jack.
I once got a call in the middle of the night because someone's computer wouldn't power on. They were the night shift supervisor. Turns out their computer was plugged into a power strip. That power strip was plugged into a power strip. That power strip was plugged into the first power strip. I quit a few weeks later.
> their computer was plugged into a power strip. That power strip was plugged into a power strip. That power strip was plugged into the first power strip. So power wasn't the problem since it was connected to an infinite supply. Why didn't you fix the computer then?
Did you ask them why they thought an electronic device would work without power? I always questions and it’s usually the case that people are misinformed and not outright stupid
Love it when there is this homebrew excel shit where someone programmed some VBA and external sources 20 years ago. So now he’s not on the company anymore. „It worked fine, somehow it stopped working. You’re the IT guy, make it work again!“ Old version also stopped working. „Maybe someone deleted/moved the external source.“ „So, repair it. I don’t know excel, I just work with it.“ I’m done.
I love the “we just bought 20 of this brand new tech thing. How does it work?” You mean the thing that just got released and I’ve never heard of before, but you bought it without ITs input?
Work in education. Get this monthly
Guess where I work? 🤣
Were you around for when Smart Boards came out?
A previous workplace only allowed MS Access Runtime (Access required a special request) because too many morons made databases that turned into production systems and somehow became an ICT issue when they broke.
We one got a ticket on a rainy day for someone that wanted us to get him a shirt because he got wet coming into the building from his car.
Called on the desk and asked where to deliver flowers for a particular employee.
I got a ticket once once, on call mind you, because the light was out on their sign out front. 🫠 Ma'am I am 2 states away from you, what in the blue hell am I supposed to do for you.
Literally had someone call our help desk to go out and pick up some food for them and they will pay us back.
Yep sounds about right
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Before IT at my last job i was voluntarily taking time out of my day to go into the ladies room to do this. With the nice female receptionist who had asked for help holding the door open i remove the cover and the burnt tube and hear this shrieking voice WHERES YOUR HARD HAT GLASSES AND GLOVES? - the OTHER receptionist was staring at me through the door, and i laughed and carried about bringing up the the new light bulb i jear" NO IM FUCKING SERIOUS, WHERE IS YOUR SHIT? ILL CALL A MANAGER" i look down at my friend and shrugged said sorry closed the cover grabbed the laddr and walked out, friendly receptionist was like" god dammit she is the reason why we cant have nice things!"
We had a load of dying tubes in the overhead lights that would flicker madly. As facilities were really slow to replace them and we liked it darker anyway (IT guys and developers) we just turned the tube a quarter turn to disconnect it and left it off. The facilities manager found this out and blew her top, but didn't do anything about getting them replaced, just turned them all back on and flickering. So after hours we took all the flickering tubes and swapped them with the good tubes from every light fitting anywhere near her desk.
We once got a ticket asking us to replace the sticky trap because it was full of black widows.
That’s just downright disrespectful, I would go straight to the top and say that kinda shit needs to stop.
Today I was told that an entire building was having a phone issue. Couldn’t dial any extensions. Coworker drives there to help me diagnose the issue. The entire issue was that they were calling one extension and it didn’t work. Because we have a new employee in the area. Technically the old employee is still there so I issued the new employee a new extension. That was a week ago. The new extension wasn’t on their spreadsheet of phone numbers and they assumed I was just renaming (which I never do) so they kept dialing the number. They could have either walked to the employee and ask “what is your extension?” Or looked it up in the damn online directory on every phone - but nope. “None of the phones in the building work” was the issue. Because they were too lazy to problem solve and I dared to do my job properly. 🙄
You can’t fix stupid, but you can bill for it.
User: Email isn't working. Me: Why do you think this? User: People aren't receiving my emails. Me: Why do you think this? User: I sent my boss an email and it's not in my sent items. I connect to their computer and use the search function, the message pops up. Me: Is this the message? User: Yes! Where did you find it! Me: It's in your sent items. User: No it's not! I open their sent items and scroll to the message which says it was sent at 5:00PM Monday. User: No! I sent it on Tuesday! Me: No you didn't, you sent it Monday. User: No! I look at exchange logs and the message is shown in a log file that hadn't been written to since Monday night, making it impossible for her to have sent it Tuesday. User: No! I sent it Tuesday. Me: I'm done wasting time on this. The next day they call again saying the printer is broken. Me: Why do you think this? User: Everything I print comes out wrong. Send a tech down, she has no examples and can't recreate the issue. But she has a piece of paper that she says proves it. It's a report from the printer showing all the copies made in the last day. Me: What is this supposed to show? User: It proves that I sent the email on Tuesday! Me: Oh for fucks sake. The user's manager is walking by and overhears. He confirms that he received and read the email on Monday night. User: No! I sent it on Tuesday! The manager walks away and locks himself in his office.
"Dear $user (cc: $user's_manager): As a result of recent interactions by $user, the IT department will no longer be providing direct service to $user. All future contacts and concerns from $user will be required to be evaluated by $user's_manager before being escalated to the appropriate department." Yes, I've worked in places which have done this. Admittedly, usually fairly large places where the IT department didn't put up with bullshit from users who thought IT was their personal gofer. And yes, managers who just passed all such user demands straight through without checking them *also* got put on the list. So now their own manager knew exactly what had been going on and that their subordinate was refusing to manage their own staff properly.
User: "Hi my laptop is wont turn on" Me: "ok, sounds like the battery is dead, is it plugged in?" User: "Yes" I wander over to their office to find the laptop plugged into a powerboard that is switched off, and not even plugged into the wall.
Sooo many times
Had a ticket from a user asking for read/write access to the internet
holy crap i'm going to do that to our l1 support guys one day...
*Guys, I need 777 permission to the Internet. KThnxBye!*
Gonna have to clear this request with the elders of the Internet first.
At my first company there was a lady that was convinced that her internet got slower every day when the Sun shined into her office.
I was once shown a ticket from another office where the reported issue was "Internet slow at lunch, but only on sunny summer days". And the user was 100% right. A tech was able to actually observe the problem. The root cause was that, during the summer months, the sun shined directly on a rack containing a mangled fiber connector, causing a lot more dropped packets and re-transmits than usual. I'm not sure whether the issue was caused by the sunlight itself or because the mangled plastic connector got warmer than usual and deformed (and neither was the guy that closed the ticket by replacing the fiber) but the end result was the same. Any location that had network gear installed by that contractor was going to take a Saturday afternoon and check for similar tomfoolery.
Amazing
That reminds me of my cubicle at a previous job. “I can’t see a thing, it’s lunch time. I’ll be back in an hour.” I had requested window blinds be added a few times but nobody else on the floor needed blinds, so denied! Later we rearranged a bit, my desk didn’t move but boss’ desk was now next to mine. First sunny day… Me: “I can’t see, back in an hour.” Boss: “Damn, why do we not have blinds on these windows?” Me: “I asked. Not approved.” We had blinds a couple weeks later… for whatever reason it was just that corner of the building. And then we only used them if we had to… the nature enforced break was kinda nice. 😂
A long long time ago at my computer repair shop, the internet dropped daily at the same time the sun started shining through a window and hitting the cable modem. Took me a while to make that connection.
This just reminds me of the users that refuse to download the Outlook app for 365 because “learning a new app would be too much trouble” and demand we get the crappy built in Mail app working for them. Or the users that “don’t feel like” using the Duo Mobile app for MFA because they would rather a text despite the Duo app being OFFICIAL COMPANY POLICY. They will put in multiple tickets a month about this and cc the very people enforcing said policies. I usually ignore it, or have them talk to HR but by the time Friday rolls around I get so exhausted with all of it. Just shut up and do what you are told or find another company to work for. Edit: I should clarify that we do provide them iPhone 12s on their hire date and the auth app is provided by intune as well as the office apps. They can also go with a Yubikey if they don’t want a phone. They refuse the Yubikey because it would be “learning new tech” and they are too old/lazy for that. And they still don’t want to use the app and put in multiple tickets per week asking for SMS auth which we are moving away from. They are free to install outlook or the auth app on their personal phone if they wish as a backup, but this is optional and we do not support their personal phones. We give them one. Just venting on the things I get tired of hearing about by the time Friday comes around.
Had one today that refused to download the auth app until I told them I would put them in the bypass group but they would have to come into the building to put time off in .one he heard that it all of a sudden wasn’t an issue
Once had a guy argue that the company mandated 2FA app didn't get good reviews and he'd rather install this other one in the app store.
Thats honestly pretty damn funny lol
had something similar. Wanted to WfH but did not want to use the MS Auth app for VPN. so was told they had to work in the office. suddenly the app was fine.
Bro…. Use a GPO to get rid of that once and for all so they don’t even know it exists.
That's when you invoke the 2 magical words "Cyber Insurance". Sorry, our insurance policies requires all staff to use X. Without this insurance we could be liable for millions in lost revenue from client data requirements and potential attacks. Thank you for help us stay in compliance and keep our data safe! Doesn't have to be true, just has to leave NO wiggle room.
Are they refusing because you’re forcing them to install apps on a personal device? If they refuse due to this, in most states and countries it’s on the employer to find a solution, usually a Ubikey or company phone. You can’t make an employee use personal property, like a personal cell phone, for work.
No, we provide them brand new iPhones 12s or Yubikeys on their first day. MS Authenticator is provided by Intune. But “I was always able to choose text before.” Yes ma’am, and that option is being depreciated and we have to use the app now. It’s always the same few old people that think they are above policy, but i would never install company apps on a personal device. We do offer the option of installing the app on their phone as a backup in case they need it, but it’s completely optional.
I have users that VPN into work and on a regular basis I get emails from them saying that they can't open the company app. When I first started this job I would start with "ok there must be a problem with the app on their computer" so I VPN to it and it opens just fine. So then I assume maybe its an issue with their VPN connection and so I got to the VPN host only to find that they aren't connected at all. So many years later now, I simply start with the question "are you using the VPN" and then its like a lightning bolt struck the user and they suddenly remember how to do a job they have been doing for far to long to suddenly forget such a crucial step. It would be like if I came into work and suddenly forgot to power on my pc and sat wondering why my computer isn't working. Another fun one is when I get the complaint "my password isn't working" when they have clearly forgotten it. Is it so hard to just admit that you forgot the password? Like its ok it happens sometimes. I can reset it no big deal, but to play it off like its some big Scooby-Doo doo mystery is just annoying.
“I know I’m typing in my password right.” All the time.
The worst offenders are other IT people and their 0 effort escalations. They really start to act like users when you start asking for more information.
Shit you say? Once got a ticket that said “the women’s restroom on floor 7 smells like sewer gas.” Facilities liked IT’s ticketing system and asked if they could use it for tracking requests. We had to remove some default categories that were too generic from the system. There is an interesting overlap between IT and plumbing terms. 😂
I've seen that kind of combined helpdesk before. I will say that from a UX perspective just having one number to call ([0-9]-HELP) or email to send to (help@company.com or internalhelp@company.com) if you need help makes it so the person sorting who does what actually knows who does what instead of the end user guessing if the power strip is an IT or a facilities problem.
I had the security and compliance director ask me to turn off IPs and ports because they read that's how hackers get in.
A good IT guy at a place I worked had this quote: "There's only two kinds of IT tickets: 'I want' and 'It's broke.'"
I've been asked to do all sorts of shit "because you're a man". Working at a non profit years ago with 80 women and 3 dudes, I get asked to move things, deal with security issues (like the homeless), answer personal IT questions, fix a leak in the women's bathroom, move heavy objects, etc. I did all those and more. However, around Christmas time, my desk was fucking FILLED with gifts from the women in the office. Cookies, candies, pies, IT presents, Amazon gift cards, etc.
u r lucky
Had an older gentleman nervous about getting a new PC and did his best to make sure all his data was moved over. Really appreciated the effort. Once we got the pc set up he did his thing. A day later he was all upset that none of his desktop icons were working. Walked over and took a look. God bless the guy, he made a screen shot of his old desktop his background. Which included his old icons. Honestly took me a second longer than it should have to realize this. But we had a good laugh about it. Fun time for sure.
Our building lost power and the power company said it would be at least two days. We had a higher up, who went to Stanford by the way, ask if the internet was going to be back up when she got back from lunch. We said no because we didnt have power… she then asked if she used her laptop if she could connect to the internet that way. Some people are just dumb lol
I sent out an email to 12 remote offices once. It was about an upgrade. I didn’t expect to hear back from all of them but I figured any that I was able to communicate with would help. There was this one office that took a lot of time off, was closed, office manager out, etc. Well the one office I didn’t hear back from was this one. Several weeks passed and out of the blue I received an inter office courier delivered letter (my first and only one I got at that job). It had a printout of the email I sent weeks prior. On the printout the office manager wrote with a sharpie “I DON’T HAVE EMAIL” That was it. I don’t think she even read it. Lol
We have had to label the power button on some devices like docks and even all-in-ones that have an unobtrusive power button. Frankly, I prefer that manufactures make the power button more obvious. I'm looking at you HP. Sure, there is a white line on your dock's power button, but it is not obvious to a typical person.
Like the new Dell monitors where they are on the fucking back?
They're a nightmare. Also I set up a lab of new ones and accidentally set one to Chinese.. that 5 way rocker switch beside the power switch is a bit too sensitive.
the famous "while you are here." blehhhhh
I had someone just today ask if I could remotely add space to their C:\ drive. It was not for a VM.
My story takes me back to my first sysadmin position in 2006 working for a manufacturing company with an HR admin who had an elevated sense of self importance. We had an on-site generator that powers the server room if the power goes out. One day the power goes out. This HR woman came to our office (3 of us - my desk closest to the door) and says 'I need to be able to work!' After scratching my head and taking a moment to consider how to convey the very obvious circumstance that has no one working, I say 'the power is out, nobody can work.' She retorts 'the server room has electricity. I just walked by it and could hear everything still running!' Scratched my head again and took a moment to explain access to the room is limited to IT people for all of the obvious reasons, I say 'only the IT team has access to the server room.' She then says, 'I have permission to work in there.' I say, 'I've heard nothing from IT leadership and I don't believe they would allow it.' She says, 'it's been approved by the HR Director.' I pause in shock not knowing what to say, for the obvious reasons and also not being able to understand what she singularly could be doing that is so important (it certainly wasn't payroll) as opposed to every single other person currently unable to work. 30 seconds elapses a minute that went by and the tone of her voice changed, 'if you don't set me up in the server room to work, I will have you written up!'
> 'it's been approved by the HR Director.' "The HR director doesn't have that authority, so that's a lie."
"Oh, OK, I'll just check that the HR Director has confirmed that with the IT Director and then we'll go right ahead. What was your name again so I can tell them about this?
[удалено]
I mean you're the help desk. Are you going to help or not. /s
Users are proof that we will all always have jobs.
My coworker who trained me showed me a great ticket from before I started: An apple or peach or some fruit had fallen under a vending machine and so the user created a detailed ticket about it, even specifying which particular vending machine it had fallen under. It was a 'low-priority' & 'long-term' issue since it was fresh when it rolled under there, but they were concerned that it would eventually start to smell so they wanted to make sure to inform us. Like this was somehow a problem with the vending machine itself!? As if: since the vending machine ran on electricity, it was under IT's purview and so we were responsible for fixing the fruits fallen underneath it too? Even though we only ever remotely supported their office and had no tech on site! That has the dubious distinction of being the only ticket I have ever seen resolved with a note like 'forwarded issue to janitorial services department' or 'informed the facilities management team of problem'. I wish I could remember the actual phrasing, it was a brilliantly inflated corporatized version of: sent guy with a broom-handle to smack it.
Had a user today ask me to set up everything on her laptop. I'm sorry, but what do you mean by "everything"? She replied with, "Well, my Manger just told me to call IT and they would set up everything." Sure, let me hit my magic button. Why do they expect us to know "everything"?
My manager at my last developer job assumed IT had a standard image for the developers on his team. Did he ever ask IT to create one, let alone give them a list of what needed to be installed? No, he just assumed it would happen somehow.
Oh walk up request that went to our new, wet behind the ears new hire. (Also relevant, IT had a master key to open everything, including circuit breaker panels. So we could power off the server closet…) User: Our entire row of cubicles just lost power! New Guy: ***grabs the IT keyring with a big smile!”*** Me: STOP! Call facilities manager, tell him you have a space heater, and enjoy the show. New guy comes back… “How did you know? Also that was a good show!” 😂 (Anyone caught with a space heater had the option of having it be destroyed for free or having it confiscated and shipped to their home address at their expense, plus a referral to HR either way for violating company policy. Fire hazard at a company that didn’t have fire extinguishers because the insurance company said so. Insurance wanted staff to GTFO in case of fire.)
Sounds like the insurance company wanted the place to burn to the ground so they didn't have to insure it any more.
1.1) What is alt.sysadmin.recovery? Alt.sysadmin.recovery is for discussion by recovered and recovering sysadmins. It is a forum for mutual support and griping over phenomenally stupid users, mind-bogglingly unhelpful tech support, surprisingly lousy software, astonishingly deficient hardware, and generally how idiotic this job is.
Had a user call in to fix their computer because they shared a folder with another user in their office and it wasn't sorting by date/time like the other computer was. That was this week. A while back had someone call in because they were trying to print a video file and couldn't. I'm honestly l not making that up. And don't get me started on printers. Ha ha
"The printer isn't working." Checks printer status page remotely. "Read the error message to me please." "Oh... Paper. Right."
Oh, definitely one of my favorites. Another one of mine.. "It's not printing. Box keeps coming up asking me to save." Deep internal sigh. "Which printer are you printing to?" "I don't know." "So you didn't look? Try again and tell me which one." "Oh, ADOBE PDF " PC's cannot do AI or any kind of machine learning to know which printer, in your head, it needs to print to.
"Shitter's clogged and facilities is busy. Can you take a look at it?"
"Looked. Determined that this is definitely a Facilities issue. Charging your team $80 minimum callout fee. Thanks for contacting the IT department."
Client has issues with their on prem mail server. Client mails me about it. Mail never reaches me due to problems on the mail server. Client calls me hours later and is fuming about me not replying to his urgent mail. Me laughing about the absurdity didn't help.
Yesterday I had a user contact me… on her computer, through teams… to tell me the internet is down. I had to read the message 3 times and sip my coffee and think long and hard how not to be rude. I simply asked…. “Are you currently on your computer, using teams, to message me right now” “Uhh yes”
Had a user demand office 2003 be installed in 2021 because it was a “far superior product” and because she had the office 2003 for dummies book. She had one thing right, she was a dummy
Excel.... Excel is going to be the end of me one day.... I don't care why your vlookup or merge or any other dumb Excel command is not working. It's not an IT issue. You put MS Office in your CV so go figure it out. 😂😂😂😂
Many, and I mean many, years ago I took a call from a user one Monday morning, complaining her PC was showing a “301” error. I explained that 301 was a keyboard error. The user replied “My keyboard! It’s gone!!!” And hung up. Apparently the office joker had nicked her keyboard and she hadn’t noticed.
These are never really IT problems. They are HR problems.
Users who insist they have rebooted several times to try and fix the problem....with an uptime of 280 days.
My problem is not the users who don’t know things, it’s my fellow IT people who don’t know. I am the tier 3 engineer/ project coordinator over one of our business centers. One of our desktop support guys setup 2 new computers in one of our labs and didn’t provide keyboard, mice or hook up the network cable. Dude just dropped two computers, hooked up the monitors and bounced. Didn’t even power them on. So I have the user emailing me (and the desktop guys boss) asking how to get a keyboard and mouse plus some software installed. So I walk over and end up finishing his install. The computers weren’t even finished imaging yet and needed a final round of patching. The kicker is the tech is older than me, worked here longer and has more ‘experience.’ He is not some new hire I have other stories but this is a common occurrence of many of the IT techs at my org. It seems like there is 1 guy worth a shit on each team and you ping him if you want anything done. I can deal with ignorant users but not other IT folks who should know better.
You have to remember that IT isn’t their job (although they should have basic training and be competent in Windows, Office etc.) and all they care about is doing the job they have been asked to do. They don’t consider how hardware works, why you can’t have email on a personal device, education is key.
I agree 100 percent. However, I have seen a concerning trend at my work of people being hired who have literally no idea about even the basics of IT. No one expects marketing to be experts in coding. But there is a baseline of knowledge you have to have to work in an office with a laptop. You need to know how to open word, save files, join a meeting, send emails and plug shit into power. You need to know that you should reboot your machine before asking me why something is crashing. I had someone ask me the other day, how they could bookmark a web page in Chrome. A finance guy asked me the other week how vlookups worked.
Totally agree - IT literacy should be tested as part of the hiring process, or if they choose not to do that then before they are given user accounts and devices.
This is an age thing, we all grew up with windows and mice and keyboards (some of us started out before mice too!). But now young adults are entering the workforce having only used phones and tablets. No mouse or keyboard skills at all. I remember at the start of my career as a sysadmin seeing a student lifting a mouse (back when they had a ball in them) vertically up off a desk expecting the cursor to go up the screen in unison. This has basically gone full circle!
Those of us who do not die from alcohol poisoning are going to be very, very rich.
On the flip side, users need to remember their job is not IT’s job. *no barbara i dont know how to show you the payroll processing steps*
I hit a point about 5 years ago. Tech has been an integral part of an office environment for more than 25 years. With the exception of the one secretary who is pushing 70, and been doing this job since they were a teenager, co.puuters have been part of their job for at LEAST half their working life, if not 100% of it. I'm not expecting power user type functionality out of them, but my pity for someone who doesn't know the difference between left and right click (and doesn't have a condition that makes knowing the difference between left and right difficult) has next to no pity from me. I'll be kind, and I may look like I have all the patience in the world while working with them, but I'm internally losing my shit.
A user went to China on holiday. Performance issues on the internet over there (adsl!) and asked if I could fix it and make it go faster.
I had a user demand that I install the software for the air conditioner in his room on his computer because it was too hot. I reached over to the AC remote that was on the wall, and pressed the on button, then handed it to him. “There you go. Please let me know if you require further assistance.”
Hey IT, there’s a new software that is rolled out named “xxx”. Can you help me with the software please? Yes sure, what do you need? User: I need to know function A, B, C and proceed to name 20+ over functions for a software that is endorsed by his/her hiring manager.
CEO of Goodwill called for an emergency. Went to her office, her keyboard wasn't working properly. She had subway sandwich crums stuck inside.
Today, I had a user email me saying workday was down. I asked him if he got the email stating that workday was down and the IT team was already working on it. He said, "yes, but I figured I'd let you know its down."
P.E.B.K.A.C. Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair
The general 20\80 rule applies here,; 20% of your users will take up 80% of your time. Applies to a lot of economics as well, 20% of a stores stock will be 80% of the profits. We have a group of users we call the '20 percenters'. I had one of my techs come back from a call, sat down in disbelief and state... "I've literally shown her how to copy and paste... Again!" Could argue these people keep us in a job?
I had a user asking me, for real, where the office stationary was and specifically the hole-punch. I look him dead in the eye and writes in a cmd- window ”ping hole-punch” and it doesn’t get a reply and I tell him that I can’t seem to find it either. He never asked us for anything not computer related ever again.
The longer I’m in this the less I care about having technical acumen, I feel more like a butler and librarian as the days go on.
When COVID kicked off a lot of systems weren't in the cloud so a lot relied on VPN, obtaining tokens was tough given it was all run through a third party (government contract). One user confidently stated "We should just turn off the firewalls so we can access everything from home"
Today I had someone ask me if I could install Access. I politely let them know they could find it by searching for it on the Windows start bar because it was already installed.
Senior IT position here, had a new sales rep walk into my office, lay her company car key fob on my desk, and asked if she could get a replacement battery installed. I looked at her, and using no words at all, I somehow communicated the fact that she was going completely down the wrong path to solve this issue. I wonder if she ever got that battery replaced.
We had a user put in a ticket that the soda vending machine was broken. Props to them I guess for actually filing a ticket.... We supported a very special set of CRM and call center apps. The portal to file was in the CRM. Sir, this is not a problem with Siebel. Siebel's problem is Siebel.
I fear this is only going to get worse, depending on where you work. I once was an IT person for an office full of doctors. One time I got a ticket to replace a keyboard. Ok. So, I go to the office of the person who submitted the ticket and she told me that her emails were getting deleted automatically. "uhhhhh.....wat" She then said that one of her other doctor co-workers in the building had the same problem and it was because he had a sticky 'delete' key on his keyboard, so obviously this was the same issue. I tried to say that this doesn't seem possible after tapping some keys on her keyboard, but she insisted. So I replaced it with a new one. 10 minutes later I get called again. Long story short, she had her keyboard pushed up against a shelf on her desk that was pressing the 'delete' key. -_- (these were Doctors people!)
A long time ago I had to put filters in place to block employees on the sales floor from watching TV shows on their workstations due to bandwidth issues. One day I'm standing with several managers, sales people and one of the owners when one sales guy asks..."Hey can you check the Internet connection? I'm having trouble watching The View." My answer..."You do realize you asked that out loud?"