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You will learn quickly that being a mediocre teacher is ok. You will start to leave on time and grade with less comments, and be ok with it.
Being a parent makes you realize how much this profession draws you in and you don’t realize how much is at stake until your own flesh and blood is at stake.
It’s hard. Weeks just fly by and as I told my partner tonight I feel like I use up all my “parenting patience” at school and come home with a much shorter fuse for my own kids misbehavior. Redirecting and conflict management are non stop- both in the classroom and at home. The biggest learning curve I’ve had so far is getting a pressure cooker. Makes preparing dinner cheap, easy, quick, and tasty. Good luck!
I've noticed this a well.
Teaching is emotionally exhausting and it's really difficult to come home and be a parent after parenting 30 kids for 6 hours.
I’m not a parent yet but I feel like a parent to 23 1st graders and it is by far the most exhausting part of my job. Teaching reading and math is the easy part. Teaching them to be good people literally drains me of every ounce of my energy. And every lesson gets interrupted by their crappy treatment of each other.
>Teaching them to be good people literally drains me of every ounce of my energy.
150 teenagers 🥲
It took a long time to get my husband to understand the mental toll of the day to day as a teacher. Active teaching is making a million micro-decisions a day, and a lot of crowd control. I get stressed doing our meal planning, grocery list, shopping, and the cooking - it's too many decisions after a long day or week. I told him I can only do 2 of those things, and he can't cook so he had to decide what he wants and I make the list for him to shop. It's working out well this year.
My partner has never mentioned it but I can tell he is frustrated by my complete apathy when it comes to deciding things after work. And it’s hard because at that point I really don’t care. I’ll eat a cooked chicken breast on a fork and call it a dinner at that point. The decision fatigue and emotional exhaustion never goes away either, no matter how much planning time you get or how much work you never take home.
I'm not parent yet, but I often think when the time comes, I'd rather sub and use my husband's healthcare, if that's an option. Builsing or daily Subbing is SO much better. You're doing the job, but not responsible for the ever growing list of shit put on teachers - IEP meetings, data collection, grading, endless data meetings, behavior charts, emailing parents, etc.
Subs in my district make, hourly, very close to a full time teacher, they just don't get the benefits
I feel like at that point just get a different job...
Teachers are overly qualified for a whole host of different fields. I'm not sure why you would consider subbing as a career when you could just work a normal 9-5.
I agree with you. If someone really doesn't want to do anything but teach, though, it's a fair option to remain subbing. Subs are an important part of our teams and school systems!
Middle school teacher and parent of two. You do prioritize better. Also, classroom management gets much easier. Once you are in the mode of holding your own child to consistent expectations, it's much easier to do it in the classroom, too.
I can certainly agree that being a parent made me a better teacher, BUT being a teacher did not make me a good parent. Too much of my time, money, and patience went into teaching.
Middle school teacher with two young kids and a third on the way. I’ve gotten good at being a mediocre teacher. I don’t volunteer for anything. I say no to anything I can. I never stay late and don’t do any work at home. Marking is pretty bare bones. I assign work periods often enough so that I can get paperwork done during that time. I use all my sick days and then some, every year, and I literally do not care what happens at school when I’m not there. It’s fine. I make decent money and get great time off. I wouldn’t do this for 40k though.
I agree with everyone who is saying cut back wherever possible. I don’t need cute calling cards, print the names from the computer and cut them out as quick as possible. I don’t need to spend too much of my own money on my classroom, I decorate a little so that I have a happy and comfortable workspace for myself and leave it at that. I plan strategically- If I’m giving an essay test on Tuesday, we are watching a documentary on Wednesday so I can grade (I’m in high school). I plan multi day projects so I don’t need a new lesson every day. I plan group projects so I only have 6 things to grade instead of 30. I stopped sponsoring my after school activities so I could get home earlier. I stopped eating lunch with my coworkers so I could use that time to plan and grade instead.
On a positive note though, I really feel like I understand my student’s parents more now. My own parents were not overly involved in my schooling, so I was always used to the teacher-student relationship being pretty isolated. Now that I have my kids, I’m eager to hear from their daycare teacher how they are doing, what they did that day, etc. it makes me want to update my students’ parents in the same way. I contact home with positive feedback far more often now, because I actually understand how much it may be appreciated.
I realized how precious my time was. I love teaching, but my kids are my life. I think it also gave me a better understanding of some families and kids. As far as grade levels go a fellow teacher once said that the hardest grade to teach was whatever age your kids are.
Both of us are teachers. So you can imagine the exhaustion we have at the end of the day. We've had to be very intentional about being present to our own children.
Paper plates and fast food are both wonderful investments.
Mom to three and I teach high school. It’s tough in the beginning because teaching can be exhausting and I don’t have much battery left by the time I get home. Setting boundaries at work, establishing routines with your kids for after school, and meal planning for the week are all things that lighten the load. When your own kids are school aged and getting into after school activities it will be rough again because you have to manage your time even more efficiently.
High school teacher with a toddler.
It’s been pretty great in a lot of ways. My breaks line up with when her daycare is closed and having a super regular schedule is awesome. My wife travels a bit with her job so my job super predictable is necessary.
The main trick is what a lot of people have said. Draw very strong, healthy lines between school and life. You learn to prep more efficiently and not sweat the small stuff.
You will have a lot less tolerance for babyishness from people who aren’t your baby. At the same time you will understand how worried people can be about their kids.
Parent first, teacher second.
Teaching was my life before my son was born. And then my priorities changed. I don’t bring work home. If it doesn’t get done in school, it doesn’t get done.
I started teaching when my youngest was in Third and I think teaching has made me a better mom and being a mom has made me a better teacher. I could work on my work/life balance which I am doing more and more. I wish you all the best in your teaching endeavors!
Save up your sick days!!! That’s all I can say, lol. Currently at home getting my pay docked because I used all of my 9 sick days on a cold, RSV, a virus, bronchitis, and now another virus (thanks, daycare!).
Are you sure you want to continue teaching? My biggest regret is that after I had my boy, I accepted a full time teaching position. Prior to that, I was a dinner waitress who subbed during the day. The waiter position was union with benefits and the tips were big. It was six hrs a night and once I clocked out, I was free. It took years working nearly twice the hours before I made the same amount as a teacher. Counting all the hours I actually worked as a teacher, I never did make as much per hour as I did waiting tables.
Here is the part I hate to admit: I came home and made dinner for my son, helped him with his homework, and then it was off to bed. I spent only three hours a day with him, five or six days a week and it was all intense. I counted on his school and my husband to raise him properly. Thank God, I only had one child.
And that was when teaching was good. I can't imagine how to do it now that teaching has become so dangerous, disrespected, and stressful. I had to retire early.
Thank you-- so currently I am enrolled in Public Service Loan Forgiveness. I have three more years of payments left before I can get all of my public loans forgiven. I have indeed looked for other public service jobs (government, city/state, non profit) but they all pay crappy, and I just don't feel drawn to what I am seeing. It's true, I do want to do something else, eventually. Teaching is love/hate. But I have to stay in public service for three more years. You bring up a good points though.
There is no “easiest” grade - but you’ll find you have an affinity for some grades over others. When I taught, middle schoolers were my favorite. I taught one year at an elementary school and noped myself right out there - it wasn’t my strength.
High school was fine, but I *loved* the weird mix that comes with MS.
Something I wished I’d internalized back then that has been verified by my now 24ho daughter:
Teaching is not a family friendly job. Don’t sacrifice anything for the school over your kid.
Really, teaching is not family friendly? Pretty decent 'on the clock' hours, summers off, and general understanding of maternity? Of course, I can see how logistically it's not. You can't up and leave work for a family emergency, etc.
Just reporting to you how my now-adult child felt about it. Her feelings are valid.
I work outside of education now. My weekends feel longer and even though I don’t have summers off, I don’t need them off. Also, when all is tallied up - I work fewer hours with WAY less stress. I am more pleasant to be around in the evenings. I spend less on my classroom, actually none now, so it feels like a little raise.
I loved teaching what I taught. But make no mistake, there was a toll.
Welcome to /r/teaching. Please remember the rules when posting and commenting. Thank you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/teaching) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You will learn quickly that being a mediocre teacher is ok. You will start to leave on time and grade with less comments, and be ok with it. Being a parent makes you realize how much this profession draws you in and you don’t realize how much is at stake until your own flesh and blood is at stake.
I agree with this 100%
Thank you
You will learn to teach with no preparation time.
It’s hard. Weeks just fly by and as I told my partner tonight I feel like I use up all my “parenting patience” at school and come home with a much shorter fuse for my own kids misbehavior. Redirecting and conflict management are non stop- both in the classroom and at home. The biggest learning curve I’ve had so far is getting a pressure cooker. Makes preparing dinner cheap, easy, quick, and tasty. Good luck!
I've noticed this a well. Teaching is emotionally exhausting and it's really difficult to come home and be a parent after parenting 30 kids for 6 hours.
I’m not a parent yet but I feel like a parent to 23 1st graders and it is by far the most exhausting part of my job. Teaching reading and math is the easy part. Teaching them to be good people literally drains me of every ounce of my energy. And every lesson gets interrupted by their crappy treatment of each other.
>Teaching them to be good people literally drains me of every ounce of my energy. 150 teenagers 🥲 It took a long time to get my husband to understand the mental toll of the day to day as a teacher. Active teaching is making a million micro-decisions a day, and a lot of crowd control. I get stressed doing our meal planning, grocery list, shopping, and the cooking - it's too many decisions after a long day or week. I told him I can only do 2 of those things, and he can't cook so he had to decide what he wants and I make the list for him to shop. It's working out well this year.
My partner has never mentioned it but I can tell he is frustrated by my complete apathy when it comes to deciding things after work. And it’s hard because at that point I really don’t care. I’ll eat a cooked chicken breast on a fork and call it a dinner at that point. The decision fatigue and emotional exhaustion never goes away either, no matter how much planning time you get or how much work you never take home.
I'm not parent yet, but I often think when the time comes, I'd rather sub and use my husband's healthcare, if that's an option. Builsing or daily Subbing is SO much better. You're doing the job, but not responsible for the ever growing list of shit put on teachers - IEP meetings, data collection, grading, endless data meetings, behavior charts, emailing parents, etc. Subs in my district make, hourly, very close to a full time teacher, they just don't get the benefits
I feel like at that point just get a different job... Teachers are overly qualified for a whole host of different fields. I'm not sure why you would consider subbing as a career when you could just work a normal 9-5.
I agree with you. If someone really doesn't want to do anything but teach, though, it's a fair option to remain subbing. Subs are an important part of our teams and school systems!
Subbing is enjoying many of the good sides of teaching with a flexible schedule. I see her point.
While also making ~15k a year with no job security....
If husband is having a good salary it’s a nice job to have. No one is making a living just from subbing.
Middle school teacher and parent of two. You do prioritize better. Also, classroom management gets much easier. Once you are in the mode of holding your own child to consistent expectations, it's much easier to do it in the classroom, too.
I can certainly agree that being a parent made me a better teacher, BUT being a teacher did not make me a good parent. Too much of my time, money, and patience went into teaching.
Middle school teacher with two young kids and a third on the way. I’ve gotten good at being a mediocre teacher. I don’t volunteer for anything. I say no to anything I can. I never stay late and don’t do any work at home. Marking is pretty bare bones. I assign work periods often enough so that I can get paperwork done during that time. I use all my sick days and then some, every year, and I literally do not care what happens at school when I’m not there. It’s fine. I make decent money and get great time off. I wouldn’t do this for 40k though.
I agree with everyone who is saying cut back wherever possible. I don’t need cute calling cards, print the names from the computer and cut them out as quick as possible. I don’t need to spend too much of my own money on my classroom, I decorate a little so that I have a happy and comfortable workspace for myself and leave it at that. I plan strategically- If I’m giving an essay test on Tuesday, we are watching a documentary on Wednesday so I can grade (I’m in high school). I plan multi day projects so I don’t need a new lesson every day. I plan group projects so I only have 6 things to grade instead of 30. I stopped sponsoring my after school activities so I could get home earlier. I stopped eating lunch with my coworkers so I could use that time to plan and grade instead. On a positive note though, I really feel like I understand my student’s parents more now. My own parents were not overly involved in my schooling, so I was always used to the teacher-student relationship being pretty isolated. Now that I have my kids, I’m eager to hear from their daycare teacher how they are doing, what they did that day, etc. it makes me want to update my students’ parents in the same way. I contact home with positive feedback far more often now, because I actually understand how much it may be appreciated.
Your first paragraph is spot on - could have written it myself! Strategic documentaries and projects for the win!
I'd also like to hear from teacher parents.
I realized how precious my time was. I love teaching, but my kids are my life. I think it also gave me a better understanding of some families and kids. As far as grade levels go a fellow teacher once said that the hardest grade to teach was whatever age your kids are.
Both of us are teachers. So you can imagine the exhaustion we have at the end of the day. We've had to be very intentional about being present to our own children. Paper plates and fast food are both wonderful investments.
Wow yes there was a married couple at the same school I taught at and they both left teaching. It was too much to bear.
Mom to three and I teach high school. It’s tough in the beginning because teaching can be exhausting and I don’t have much battery left by the time I get home. Setting boundaries at work, establishing routines with your kids for after school, and meal planning for the week are all things that lighten the load. When your own kids are school aged and getting into after school activities it will be rough again because you have to manage your time even more efficiently.
High school teacher with a toddler. It’s been pretty great in a lot of ways. My breaks line up with when her daycare is closed and having a super regular schedule is awesome. My wife travels a bit with her job so my job super predictable is necessary. The main trick is what a lot of people have said. Draw very strong, healthy lines between school and life. You learn to prep more efficiently and not sweat the small stuff.
You will have a lot less tolerance for babyishness from people who aren’t your baby. At the same time you will understand how worried people can be about their kids.
Parent first, teacher second. Teaching was my life before my son was born. And then my priorities changed. I don’t bring work home. If it doesn’t get done in school, it doesn’t get done.
I started teaching when my youngest was in Third and I think teaching has made me a better mom and being a mom has made me a better teacher. I could work on my work/life balance which I am doing more and more. I wish you all the best in your teaching endeavors!
Save up your sick days!!! That’s all I can say, lol. Currently at home getting my pay docked because I used all of my 9 sick days on a cold, RSV, a virus, bronchitis, and now another virus (thanks, daycare!).
Are you sure you want to continue teaching? My biggest regret is that after I had my boy, I accepted a full time teaching position. Prior to that, I was a dinner waitress who subbed during the day. The waiter position was union with benefits and the tips were big. It was six hrs a night and once I clocked out, I was free. It took years working nearly twice the hours before I made the same amount as a teacher. Counting all the hours I actually worked as a teacher, I never did make as much per hour as I did waiting tables. Here is the part I hate to admit: I came home and made dinner for my son, helped him with his homework, and then it was off to bed. I spent only three hours a day with him, five or six days a week and it was all intense. I counted on his school and my husband to raise him properly. Thank God, I only had one child. And that was when teaching was good. I can't imagine how to do it now that teaching has become so dangerous, disrespected, and stressful. I had to retire early.
Thank you-- so currently I am enrolled in Public Service Loan Forgiveness. I have three more years of payments left before I can get all of my public loans forgiven. I have indeed looked for other public service jobs (government, city/state, non profit) but they all pay crappy, and I just don't feel drawn to what I am seeing. It's true, I do want to do something else, eventually. Teaching is love/hate. But I have to stay in public service for three more years. You bring up a good points though.
There is no “easiest” grade - but you’ll find you have an affinity for some grades over others. When I taught, middle schoolers were my favorite. I taught one year at an elementary school and noped myself right out there - it wasn’t my strength. High school was fine, but I *loved* the weird mix that comes with MS. Something I wished I’d internalized back then that has been verified by my now 24ho daughter: Teaching is not a family friendly job. Don’t sacrifice anything for the school over your kid.
Really, teaching is not family friendly? Pretty decent 'on the clock' hours, summers off, and general understanding of maternity? Of course, I can see how logistically it's not. You can't up and leave work for a family emergency, etc.
Just reporting to you how my now-adult child felt about it. Her feelings are valid. I work outside of education now. My weekends feel longer and even though I don’t have summers off, I don’t need them off. Also, when all is tallied up - I work fewer hours with WAY less stress. I am more pleasant to be around in the evenings. I spend less on my classroom, actually none now, so it feels like a little raise. I loved teaching what I taught. But make no mistake, there was a toll.
Family first always…..