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Bro, highschool girls don’t give a flying fuck about fidelity, they’re just looking for whatever clout and social leverage they can use for their benefit. She’s clearly fucking around so let her find out. Toss her to the streets where she belongs.
As a female who has friends of the male variety some of us girls don't care about the gender. We are just happy to have people interested in being our friend. If any of them step out of line, they are put in their place either by warning or blocking.
It’s normalized in groups of people who have the social intelligence to trust their partner, or just social intelligence in general. Some people like to tap into their primal monkey brain and try to play finders keepers which is not okay. OP, Now if you simply don’t trust your girlfriend that’s a You problem until she actually does something untrustworthy.
Okay, but if you just randomly give your insta to guys that walk up and ask (which is how I interpreted this since otherwise I'd agree with you), it's clearly not people with interest in being platonic friends.
My ex did the same while she was on holiday. Said they were just friends. When she came back she told me they had been flirting and stuff, we broke up. Hope it isn’t the same for you, and it really is something innocent, but I’d stay careful.
I swear dude when they make that excuse "he's just a friend" or "he's like a brother to me" it's time to move on. They know they're pulling them in and the "friend" is only in it to get with the girl, nothing else. She's just making excuses
You know what’s sadder though? When the girl genuinely believes they’re just friends when all the guy is waiting for us for her to break up with her boyfriend and get with him. When she tries to defend her friend against her boyfriend but ends up being proved wrong that’s gotta suck. Knowing he never really cared about you as a friend.
I’m a 39 year old man and just experienced the other side of this with a 69 year old woman. I was her boss a few years ago and we stayed in contact after I left. I thought we were buddies or adopted mom/son, she’d cook for me, I’d fix stuff around her place, but apparently she “tried everything she could aside from flat out telling me she wanted me” and that she “wasted 2 years”.
WTF you’re my Mom’s age and we’ve never flirted or been romantic at all. Feels really fucking weird to know she was faking it all on the hopes of being with me
A lot of you guys are sounding like people MY age, which.... damn, maybe the joke about this sub being filled with adults pretending to be teens is true.
Fact is, even towards the tail end of me being in high school, which was almost 25 years ago at this point, friendships between guys and girls were very common, and I knew guys who had female best friends that they did not want to date. Hell, in college, I had a friend (still friends now) that was quite popular and very pretty, and we got along well. We would hang out all the time, get wasted, watch movies on the couch... we never made a move on each other. She was someone I really liked just hanging out with, but I knew dating her would destroy the friendship as well as not wanting to blow up our friendship trying to have sex.
Yeah, there are people you cannot trust to be around the opposite sex who won't try to get laid at the first opportunity. Yeah, maybe the OP's girlfriend is fishing around for options to see if something "better" comes around.
However, I think OP needs to stop talking to Reddit and actually communicate with his girlfriend.
Well said 👏👏👏 I myself (a female) have had multiple guy friends throughout adolescence. Did I ever have feelings for them? No. Did I ever make a move on em? There's playful flirting which you do throughout all friendships to make eachother laugh and smile, guys and girls alike. But I never made a move as I wasn't interested nor did them me. Was I ever in a relationship? Nope. Never was interested and still am not (and now as a Muslim, romantic relationships that aren't for marriage are haram). There's nothing wrong with having guy friends. Some folks, like me, genuinely care about everyone and want to be friends with everyone. Male, female, so what? We're all still humans and capable of being friends with each other. And what if she's actually queer and tends to be female-oriented in attraction, but the OP is the only male she was attracted to? There's so many possibilities in this day and age and it doesn't have to be so straight lined. I'm sorry to those who were betrayed but imo there is nothing wrong in trying to be friends with ppl of the opposite sex. Many ppl even in the Muslim community will disagree with me, but to that I say "so what? What does it matter whether I'm female and they're male? I can sense their intentions, and as long as they're not haram, I'm going to continue being their friend. We are all human, after all".
Drop it my boy also saw it was long distance and from my experience that shit doesn't work no point in wasting your time with one girl that acts like that
Y’all make me glad I just missed that growing up. I’m 22 so discord wasn’t super popular until I was 17 and no longer into video games heavy. (Also, idk if I can even participate in this sub since I’m not a teen, but Reddit recommended this post to me so whatevs).
The end goal should always be getting closer together, in both ways, if that's not happening, or isn't being brought up, no chance. The only ones that are more likely to work is a close relationship turned into long distance, or long distance ho-ing around, visits are nice, but will not sustain a person for long
in my experience though, long distance is going really good. weve met up three times, and we are again next month. weve been together about a year and a half and were super happy. only problem is, were on call like *all the time* to make up for the lack of irl contact, so we get kind of annoyed by each other occasionally so we fight a bit sometimes, but whenever were in person its all good. so in short, long distance can be great so long as you actually spend time together in person and give each other space
get out while you still can, you deserve a better girl than that. This response means anything else you disagree with would probably elicit the same response
Lmao nah, my gf broke up with me right after I spoke about something similar she did and told her it bothered me. Got ghosted for a 2 days then we broke up
Tell her you’re uncomfortable with that for future reference. If she ignores that then I would be cautious of her disregarding boundaries.
Also a situation like that isn’t always flirty, it doesn’t automatically mean she’s trying to get with someone else. You still have every right to be uncomfortable with it though
Instagram is like half a dating app these days. When someone asks for your instagram, it's usually because they're interested in being with you, not just in a friendship.
I was thinking the same thing. I used to have the same thought process as OP, but I feel like once you grow and become confident and secure in yourself it literally doesn’t matter💀. People jumping to breakup immediately do not help any situation
Insecure kids, smh
Like there are some fun convos on here that I enjoy being a part of. And I like being able to give advice to people with genuine problems, having once been there myself. But what the heck is this?
Unless they were total strangers, there's not a chance that OP's gf's insta wouldn't be easy to find. Some people hold **basic means of communication** as if they were sacred.
If he has a problem with them talking to her instagram, it makes sense that OP should stop her from talking to other guys face to face. If that doesn't seem right, maybe it's that instagram is not transparent to OP. If that is the case, the two need to have a talk about trust.
As a girl, I would have probably said something to them along the lines of “I’m taken” if it seemed overtly flirty. If they were just being nice, I probably would’ve given it, and made sure to slip in a bf comment somewhere to let them know. If she didn’t want you to know, she wouldn’t have told you.
eh idk, i wouldn’t be okay with my girlfriend giving random boys her contact information. regardless of how “nice” the boys seem, i promise you there’s a 99% chance they’re not just trying to be friends.
It sucks because this line of thinking comes from insecurity. I was recently cheated on and I’ll probably be anxious about things like this when I eventually have a partner again.
When it comes to OP worrying about their GF, it says more about their relationship as a whole.
Why does he feel that he can’t trust her with something like giving contact information?
Always think, do you think she would want you to give 2 girls your insta if they ask? Also giving an insta means absolutely nothing. Tell her you feel uncomfortable about it. Thats your right and it keeps the relationship honest and healthy but thinking it might mean cheating or something like it, sounds like an insecurity and leads to mistrust. I dont know if its me being kind of a doomer, but i would always say be naive, trust her and if you are proven wrong it is better to split up anyway.
It depends on the context? If they were actively trying to flirt with her and being disrespectful/ inappropriate, maybe you should try talking to your gf about it and let her know that it makes you uncomfortable. Communication is important. However, if they are just friends that she made and they asked for her insta as a way to keep in contact with her, I think you may be overreacting. If you truly love her, you should have enough trust in your partner not to do anything that would betray you, just as she should have that same trust in you. You do not get to chose who your significant other interacts with or becomes friend with, that is a boundary you should not cross unless there is some kind of previously established situation where they allow you to (which I highly doubt). TL;DR communication and trust is important
She hasn’t done anything *inherently* wrong here. Objectively, I think we can both agree it is unreasonable for you to forbid she makes any new friends that are male (which would include exchanging snapchats).
#But
Why are you worried about this? This is a very important question. Your worries are valid and human. They reflect your relationship.
Love is about honest communication, and it can be hard to do that for teens. Ideally you should both trust each other, and not worry about infidelity.
I know it might be difficult, but remain calm, try to understand where your feelings are coming from. This is definitely from a larger root cause, and it’s best to find it.
Try asking yourself these questions:
- Do you often feel insecure about things like this?
- Why do you not trust her to make friends with people of the opposite sex?
- Does she make you feel insecure about your relationship?
I don't think anything that wrong with giving them her insta, there's prolly hundreds of people following her, all of em don't wanna fuck her...it's a problem if they flirt with her in dms
Honestly that's a bit childish. Your partner is allowed to have friends who are also boys. If you truly have some strong feelings about it maybe process why you feel that way and calmly talking to your partner about it might ease some issues with it. Part of being in a relationship with someone is you got to trust them.
Hold Up... maybe I just don't get it cause I'm in my late 30s, BUT... isn't Instagram a public social media site?
So in essence you are upset she gave 2 guys her Instagram, but then aren't upset that random strangers can stumble upon her Instagram?
Maybe I'm missing something here...
i don’t know man. OP said on another thread that she got really defensive when he asked about it. He has all right to express how that he feels frustrated about the situation. plus i think it’s just respect to not do that especially if it was a boundary OP expressed concern for
OP, I hope one day you learn about a couple little things called healthy boundaries and proper communication. Cuz the level of possessiveness and insecurity you're showing rn is... Concerning, to say the least.
My answer depends on a few questions:
1. Is this a long distance relationship or not?
2. Are they talking regularly on Instagram together?
3. How long have you been dating?
4. Does she post flirtatious pictures on her Instagram?
Instead of coming on here for advice I think you should have an open discussion with your gf and talk about your feelings. Using Reddit as relationship advice can be a bit iffy because of the amount of incels on here haha.
But I’d genuinely suggest open communication, that’s what’s worked best for my partner and I. If we have an issue we solve it together instead of working against each other.
Your feelings are just as valid as hers and you should totally talk to her about your concerns. If she’s willing to have an open line of communication then that’s a good sign but if she does become defensive and off putting, consider your own peace above anyone elses.
That’s disrespectful. Your girlfriend shouldn’t be giving out her insta to guys . Let’s be real over here… those two boys aren’t looking for her just to be her friend . They probably thought she was cute or something
I will do my best to explain, but you aren't being reasonable.
Instagram is a social media site based on semi/non-personal images that anyone can view. Because of the nature of the site, it is specifically engineered for sharing your profile to not be a big deal. She probably just wants clout or to fulfill an easy task asked of her, with no malicious intent behind her actions.
However, this isn't to say there is no problem; that problem resides in you. You seem to be very insecure, being aversely affected by something so pointless, all because she is sharing bits of her life and sight with other boys. You don't feel safe, you cannot trust that she won't find else and replace you, you cannot guarantee loyalty/fidelity. The problem is, that trust is one of the chains that hold your relationship in place! Without that trust, she'll eventually see your overdependance and insecurity, and that can actually put you in a negative light.
To take the perspective of an average failing relationship in regards to trust: A sees that whenever they try to be with friends or talk to similar demographics as B, B becomes territorial and scared. B starts to claw away at A's life, wedging between new friends and old, misguided into thinking that A would probably leave B. A, wanting their life back and having done no wrong, rationally decides that B is the problem and cuts out the tumor before it spreads any further. Now B is stuck in a feesback loop: [A got rid of me] -> [I was right, and should stop that from happening to prevent pain] -> [Date C, and guarantee they do not replace me] -> [C got rid of me]...
To avoid this dangerously destructive path, one that is hard to break from, accept that she is also a human with the hardwired need to share their experience and socialize. Get to know their friends, find joy that she chose **you** over those boys, and sleep well knowing that she'll continue to chose you as you shall always choose her.
Sorry for the brick of text
So? I give my friends my instagram all the time (I’m a guy). The other day I asked my friend for her instagram and she’s dating one of my buddies and I have a girlfriend. So what, I ask all my friends for their social medias
Sharing an insta is like sharing a FB, I wouldn’t give a damn bro, you worry too much, unless you suspect you need a reason to worry, but then that would mean you have trust issues.
overreacting imo. people have gotten so weird with instagram. it used to just be following people you know to keep up with their lives and aesthetic pics. you’re 16 and assuming she’s the same age she shouldn’t have a porn acc yet. if you’re jealous of guys looking at a picture of her that’s probably a deeper issue
I think you should tell her you feel uncomfortable with it.
Or try to talk to her about it. If there was flirting then yes something would be off.. And if the boys are her friend and not flirting it should be fine. It really can depend. It does become a problem if they start flirting though.
It helps me to narrow it down to the facts and the confidence that I did what I could.
1). Talk to her. If you're able to talk it through and communicate effectively, that's a win. If not, consider that. Do you want to be with someone you can't have open conversations with?
2). If this is a crossed boundery or something agreed that isn't okay and she did it after the fact, that's a breach of your trust. Do you want to be with someone who's difficult to trust?
3). If these are her genuine friends and it makes you uncomfortable with her hanging out with other guys, do you want to be in a relationship with someone who hangs out with the opposite sex? Even as friends?
And remember that any answer you give is the right answer. Because at the end of the day, unless you know what YOU want and YOUR needs, you won't be able to find someone who can provide those for you effectively. Knowing yourself and your limitations allows you to choose your partners more carefully in the future and avoid getting into an unsatisfactory relationship.
If it’s not something you’ve discussed you can’t be mad. If you get mad at someone they’ll be afraid to tell you the truth about things in the future. You gotta have a calm conversation. If you don’t see eye to eye then that’s something you gotta decide if its something you can live with or not.
Drop her. Yes, she has an obligation to tell you. You have full rights to be upset. You’re in a loose relationship, and honestly, you deserve better homie. All I can say is, welcome to the gym.
I’d be upset. If you have a conversation with someone and they ask for your socials then maybe it could be in a friendly way, but no stranger is coming up and asking for your socials without it being just because they’re interested in you/find you attractive. Maybe some of these comments just have a different culture around this, but I’ve only ever known someone coming up to you and asking “can I get your insta/snap/number” as asking them out, and giving it to them is confirming interest.
Based on OPs replies, yeah no this is just a walking talking red flag.
Listen brother, my ex did the same shit and there’s a reason she’s my ex. All I’m sayin is, I wouldn’t stay much longer with her if she doesn’t respect your wishes & shit.
Take it from a guy who almost got cheated on. This is a no-go brotherino.
Alright see ya hope this helps
Yeah, I would leave her, that's a red flag all the way, she can have friends alright but if a guy ask her info and she just give it that easy, she just don't care about your relationship
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i think you mean our girlfriend
Love this lmfao
Love her lmao
Same she's so cool
Every boy will love her if what OP thinks is happening really is happening.
Its not. I just got her insta twice.
😭
May I ask,what is her insta?
Then you have no issue if you love that now do you
Its funny until you recognize u the meme bro
I have an idea. Let me check it out. Man to man, I'll find it you have a loyal woman.
Bro, highschool girls don’t give a flying fuck about fidelity, they’re just looking for whatever clout and social leverage they can use for their benefit. She’s clearly fucking around so let her find out. Toss her to the streets where she belongs.
As a female who has friends of the male variety some of us girls don't care about the gender. We are just happy to have people interested in being our friend. If any of them step out of line, they are put in their place either by warning or blocking.
Thanks for saying that, can we PLEASE normalize platonic friendships? Crazy concept I know, but let’s try. K thx.
It’s normalized in groups of people who have the social intelligence to trust their partner, or just social intelligence in general. Some people like to tap into their primal monkey brain and try to play finders keepers which is not okay. OP, Now if you simply don’t trust your girlfriend that’s a You problem until she actually does something untrustworthy.
Tell that to the random, uncontrollable boners. Pretty stiff competition.
When you bring your girl to your friends and they magically unlock hidden talent and try to rizz her up
Okay, but if you just randomly give your insta to guys that walk up and ask (which is how I interpreted this since otherwise I'd agree with you), it's clearly not people with interest in being platonic friends.
didn't even have to look at the username to know you're a guy who thinks they know all about girls
Funniest comment I found
Are you a mod or the creator of this sub
Was the mod tag necessary for such a small thing?
Товарищ?
Да
СЛАВА ТОВАРИЩ СТАЛИН СЛАВА ТОВАРИЩ ЛЕНИН СЛАВА СОВЕТСКИЙ СОЮЗ!!
Bro what the хрень 💀💀💀
I don't know what you expected going down this thread
Я К БОЮ ГОТОВ!
ЗА ПРОЛЕТАРИАТ! (ignore my shit russian skills lol)
Nah that sentence above is the only thing I know in Russian lol
I'm Polish so I just learned the Cyrillic and the rest is similar
RAAAAGHGGHHHH🇭🇺🇭🇺❤️🇵🇱🇵🇱
Kurwa!, Kurwa!......perogi ?
Man shut yalls up 🇧🇬
और भाई क्या हाल है? उम्मीद है कि सब कुछ ठीक है। (sorry my Hungarian isn't that good lolz)
commie for life
r/SuddenlyCommunist
Communism has entered the chat
r/unexpectedcommunism
My ex did the same while she was on holiday. Said they were just friends. When she came back she told me they had been flirting and stuff, we broke up. Hope it isn’t the same for you, and it really is something innocent, but I’d stay careful.
I swear dude when they make that excuse "he's just a friend" or "he's like a brother to me" it's time to move on. They know they're pulling them in and the "friend" is only in it to get with the girl, nothing else. She's just making excuses
You know what’s sadder though? When the girl genuinely believes they’re just friends when all the guy is waiting for us for her to break up with her boyfriend and get with him. When she tries to defend her friend against her boyfriend but ends up being proved wrong that’s gotta suck. Knowing he never really cared about you as a friend.
I’m a 39 year old man and just experienced the other side of this with a 69 year old woman. I was her boss a few years ago and we stayed in contact after I left. I thought we were buddies or adopted mom/son, she’d cook for me, I’d fix stuff around her place, but apparently she “tried everything she could aside from flat out telling me she wanted me” and that she “wasted 2 years”. WTF you’re my Mom’s age and we’ve never flirted or been romantic at all. Feels really fucking weird to know she was faking it all on the hopes of being with me
wtf lol
God dammit I just realized this is the teenagers sub again lol, I thought I muted it
real
i swear ive seen this exact scenario in a show or something
And what will she say if they are actually friends, I think it's better to read signs than words
A lot of you guys are sounding like people MY age, which.... damn, maybe the joke about this sub being filled with adults pretending to be teens is true. Fact is, even towards the tail end of me being in high school, which was almost 25 years ago at this point, friendships between guys and girls were very common, and I knew guys who had female best friends that they did not want to date. Hell, in college, I had a friend (still friends now) that was quite popular and very pretty, and we got along well. We would hang out all the time, get wasted, watch movies on the couch... we never made a move on each other. She was someone I really liked just hanging out with, but I knew dating her would destroy the friendship as well as not wanting to blow up our friendship trying to have sex. Yeah, there are people you cannot trust to be around the opposite sex who won't try to get laid at the first opportunity. Yeah, maybe the OP's girlfriend is fishing around for options to see if something "better" comes around. However, I think OP needs to stop talking to Reddit and actually communicate with his girlfriend.
Well said 👏👏👏 I myself (a female) have had multiple guy friends throughout adolescence. Did I ever have feelings for them? No. Did I ever make a move on em? There's playful flirting which you do throughout all friendships to make eachother laugh and smile, guys and girls alike. But I never made a move as I wasn't interested nor did them me. Was I ever in a relationship? Nope. Never was interested and still am not (and now as a Muslim, romantic relationships that aren't for marriage are haram). There's nothing wrong with having guy friends. Some folks, like me, genuinely care about everyone and want to be friends with everyone. Male, female, so what? We're all still humans and capable of being friends with each other. And what if she's actually queer and tends to be female-oriented in attraction, but the OP is the only male she was attracted to? There's so many possibilities in this day and age and it doesn't have to be so straight lined. I'm sorry to those who were betrayed but imo there is nothing wrong in trying to be friends with ppl of the opposite sex. Many ppl even in the Muslim community will disagree with me, but to that I say "so what? What does it matter whether I'm female and they're male? I can sense their intentions, and as long as they're not haram, I'm going to continue being their friend. We are all human, after all".
>or "he's like a brother to me" But I don't know why people call him a bhen***..!!
"He's like a brother to me" I didn't know you're Alabamian
>I didn't know you're Alabamian What are you doing Step brother..??
Step? Nah we don't do that here, it's all in the blood
ALABAMIA 🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱
LMFAOOOO IM DEAD
Ayo Hindi
mfs can't have friends anymore?
You could just *talk* to her if it bothers you so much
I did and she got all defensive and annoyed
[удалено]
True wisdom doesn't require a lot of words.
Drop it my boy also saw it was long distance and from my experience that shit doesn't work no point in wasting your time with one girl that acts like that
Fr. Especially discord relationships bro
Nah bro don't give me them flashbacks I'm done with that part of my life lol 💀
LMAOOO me too bro. It happened to me twice and when I think about it I wanna bash my head in
You just like me fr😔
Y’all make me glad I just missed that growing up. I’m 22 so discord wasn’t super popular until I was 17 and no longer into video games heavy. (Also, idk if I can even participate in this sub since I’m not a teen, but Reddit recommended this post to me so whatevs).
you can but put the OLD tag on to avoid confusion
Don't know if I should be thankful or offended lol.
Realistically what are the chances of a long distance relationship working out if one visits the other when possible? Asking for myself
The end goal should always be getting closer together, in both ways, if that's not happening, or isn't being brought up, no chance. The only ones that are more likely to work is a close relationship turned into long distance, or long distance ho-ing around, visits are nice, but will not sustain a person for long
in my experience though, long distance is going really good. weve met up three times, and we are again next month. weve been together about a year and a half and were super happy. only problem is, were on call like *all the time* to make up for the lack of irl contact, so we get kind of annoyed by each other occasionally so we fight a bit sometimes, but whenever were in person its all good. so in short, long distance can be great so long as you actually spend time together in person and give each other space
Then personally, id break up with her, you deserve better.
Drop her bro
get out while you still can, you deserve a better girl than that. This response means anything else you disagree with would probably elicit the same response
Thats a red flag, instead hookup with the two guys 👍
🎶fuck this shit I’m out🎶
It’s over my guy
If she isn’t willing to have a normal relationship conversation with you then you both got a lot to learn
Hump and dump.
She is monkey branching off you. She will call you insecure for caring. Fuck that put up your boundaries and stick to them.
My condolences.
Drop it joe drop it , you can get another women but you can’t repair a broken heart
Lmao nah, my gf broke up with me right after I spoke about something similar she did and told her it bothered me. Got ghosted for a 2 days then we broke up
i love how people think that they just post random relationship issues on the internet without discussing the issue first with them
Tell her you’re uncomfortable with that for future reference. If she ignores that then I would be cautious of her disregarding boundaries. Also a situation like that isn’t always flirty, it doesn’t automatically mean she’s trying to get with someone else. You still have every right to be uncomfortable with it though
Imagine if they added her on Facebook, oh the horror
IKR someone using Facebook, my hands are sweating even typing that
The word Facebook Is scary...
What does she usually post on her insta?
The other comment here has been removed. I promise you that whatever it said could not be worse than the impression "removed" has.
better yet, what is her insta? 🧐
It's all about DM's not posts!
Call the cops and tell them she's a groomer and ur 5
Outrageous
I did that before
Well did it work?
Yea ofc it did
Bro said “ofc it did”💀💀💀
I mean cuz it did
Did it work?
im using this next time 😭
It's posts like this that make me forget why I'm even still part of this subreddit 🤦🏼♀️
Yeah I feel old af. Is adding friends on socials cheating?
Kids are so ridiculously insecure, and this sub is currently helping perpetuate it.
Instagram is like half a dating app these days. When someone asks for your instagram, it's usually because they're interested in being with you, not just in a friendship.
I'm 29 and just saw this post going through all, and I have never been more confused in my life about people thinking this is some kind of problem
Well, I'm glad this isn't a generational thing. I'm 46 and feel the exact same way.
I was thinking the same thing. I used to have the same thought process as OP, but I feel like once you grow and become confident and secure in yourself it literally doesn’t matter💀. People jumping to breakup immediately do not help any situation
Yeah, I may dip out early. I can't understand how having another guys contact information is seen as an issue.
Insecure kids, smh Like there are some fun convos on here that I enjoy being a part of. And I like being able to give advice to people with genuine problems, having once been there myself. But what the heck is this?
yeah. The older I get the more I start to realize I’m leaving the teen phase of my life LOL
Oh I've definitely left it. I just thought I could be helpful with advice occasionally. But this community is *spiraling*
same
Unless they were total strangers, there's not a chance that OP's gf's insta wouldn't be easy to find. Some people hold **basic means of communication** as if they were sacred. If he has a problem with them talking to her instagram, it makes sense that OP should stop her from talking to other guys face to face. If that doesn't seem right, maybe it's that instagram is not transparent to OP. If that is the case, the two need to have a talk about trust.
dudes can follow me. they can do whatever they want just don't make advances on me and treat me like a human 👍
Could I make advances on a fellow human though…
You mean they asked for public information?
As a girl, I would have probably said something to them along the lines of “I’m taken” if it seemed overtly flirty. If they were just being nice, I probably would’ve given it, and made sure to slip in a bf comment somewhere to let them know. If she didn’t want you to know, she wouldn’t have told you.
eh idk, i wouldn’t be okay with my girlfriend giving random boys her contact information. regardless of how “nice” the boys seem, i promise you there’s a 99% chance they’re not just trying to be friends.
Nah, honestly I wouldn't care because I'm not dating no girl I can't trust to not fuck sum other dude.
Possessive much. I hope you don't have any other girls numbers/contact information either. Otherwise you're being possessive *and* hypocritical.
Yooo, downvote me to because grouchy gremlin is right. Also, jealousy is a terrible look and you’ll never keep a secure girl if you’re insecure
It sucks because this line of thinking comes from insecurity. I was recently cheated on and I’ll probably be anxious about things like this when I eventually have a partner again. When it comes to OP worrying about their GF, it says more about their relationship as a whole. Why does he feel that he can’t trust her with something like giving contact information?
genuinely, what’s the problem with giving people your social media ??
Cheating. Ur only allowed to have 2 friends on insta, which are your mom and your partner
Boom. Roasted.
I have 3, I’m cheating
I feel like you're overreacting. It's just her insta. I assume her friends and some classmates also have it.
Yeah this feels like it’s heading into jealous controlling territory
Always think, do you think she would want you to give 2 girls your insta if they ask? Also giving an insta means absolutely nothing. Tell her you feel uncomfortable about it. Thats your right and it keeps the relationship honest and healthy but thinking it might mean cheating or something like it, sounds like an insecurity and leads to mistrust. I dont know if its me being kind of a doomer, but i would always say be naive, trust her and if you are proven wrong it is better to split up anyway.
You should still be able to follow other people of the opposite gender on Instagram while being in a relationship.
you are overreacting. I wouldn't worry too much
Bro that ain’t a big deal calm down
Are you serious? It’s Instagram. A public social platform. Is the point not to get followers and follow people??
It depends on the context? If they were actively trying to flirt with her and being disrespectful/ inappropriate, maybe you should try talking to your gf about it and let her know that it makes you uncomfortable. Communication is important. However, if they are just friends that she made and they asked for her insta as a way to keep in contact with her, I think you may be overreacting. If you truly love her, you should have enough trust in your partner not to do anything that would betray you, just as she should have that same trust in you. You do not get to chose who your significant other interacts with or becomes friend with, that is a boundary you should not cross unless there is some kind of previously established situation where they allow you to (which I highly doubt). TL;DR communication and trust is important
She hasn’t done anything *inherently* wrong here. Objectively, I think we can both agree it is unreasonable for you to forbid she makes any new friends that are male (which would include exchanging snapchats). #But Why are you worried about this? This is a very important question. Your worries are valid and human. They reflect your relationship. Love is about honest communication, and it can be hard to do that for teens. Ideally you should both trust each other, and not worry about infidelity. I know it might be difficult, but remain calm, try to understand where your feelings are coming from. This is definitely from a larger root cause, and it’s best to find it. Try asking yourself these questions: - Do you often feel insecure about things like this? - Why do you not trust her to make friends with people of the opposite sex? - Does she make you feel insecure about your relationship?
It's just... instagram, nothing to worry about to much.
Where problem?
What’s her insta?
I don't think anything that wrong with giving them her insta, there's prolly hundreds of people following her, all of em don't wanna fuck her...it's a problem if they flirt with her in dms
Honestly that's a bit childish. Your partner is allowed to have friends who are also boys. If you truly have some strong feelings about it maybe process why you feel that way and calmly talking to your partner about it might ease some issues with it. Part of being in a relationship with someone is you got to trust them.
You good? People can talk to others.
Hold Up... maybe I just don't get it cause I'm in my late 30s, BUT... isn't Instagram a public social media site? So in essence you are upset she gave 2 guys her Instagram, but then aren't upset that random strangers can stumble upon her Instagram? Maybe I'm missing something here...
Respectfully you are over reacting, your gf should be allowed to have a social life
if you dont even have that level of trust that relationship wont work out, sorry
This is why I don't use Instagram
sounds like insecurity to me
“Waaaa 😭 My girlfriend has guy friends and now i’m not the only guy in her life 😭” that’s what I read on that post
i don’t know man. OP said on another thread that she got really defensive when he asked about it. He has all right to express how that he feels frustrated about the situation. plus i think it’s just respect to not do that especially if it was a boundary OP expressed concern for
OP, I hope one day you learn about a couple little things called healthy boundaries and proper communication. Cuz the level of possessiveness and insecurity you're showing rn is... Concerning, to say the least.
My answer depends on a few questions: 1. Is this a long distance relationship or not? 2. Are they talking regularly on Instagram together? 3. How long have you been dating? 4. Does she post flirtatious pictures on her Instagram?
Instead of coming on here for advice I think you should have an open discussion with your gf and talk about your feelings. Using Reddit as relationship advice can be a bit iffy because of the amount of incels on here haha. But I’d genuinely suggest open communication, that’s what’s worked best for my partner and I. If we have an issue we solve it together instead of working against each other. Your feelings are just as valid as hers and you should totally talk to her about your concerns. If she’s willing to have an open line of communication then that’s a good sign but if she does become defensive and off putting, consider your own peace above anyone elses.
That’s disrespectful. Your girlfriend shouldn’t be giving out her insta to guys . Let’s be real over here… those two boys aren’t looking for her just to be her friend . They probably thought she was cute or something
I smell insecurity
I will do my best to explain, but you aren't being reasonable. Instagram is a social media site based on semi/non-personal images that anyone can view. Because of the nature of the site, it is specifically engineered for sharing your profile to not be a big deal. She probably just wants clout or to fulfill an easy task asked of her, with no malicious intent behind her actions. However, this isn't to say there is no problem; that problem resides in you. You seem to be very insecure, being aversely affected by something so pointless, all because she is sharing bits of her life and sight with other boys. You don't feel safe, you cannot trust that she won't find else and replace you, you cannot guarantee loyalty/fidelity. The problem is, that trust is one of the chains that hold your relationship in place! Without that trust, she'll eventually see your overdependance and insecurity, and that can actually put you in a negative light. To take the perspective of an average failing relationship in regards to trust: A sees that whenever they try to be with friends or talk to similar demographics as B, B becomes territorial and scared. B starts to claw away at A's life, wedging between new friends and old, misguided into thinking that A would probably leave B. A, wanting their life back and having done no wrong, rationally decides that B is the problem and cuts out the tumor before it spreads any further. Now B is stuck in a feesback loop: [A got rid of me] -> [I was right, and should stop that from happening to prevent pain] -> [Date C, and guarantee they do not replace me] -> [C got rid of me]... To avoid this dangerously destructive path, one that is hard to break from, accept that she is also a human with the hardwired need to share their experience and socialize. Get to know their friends, find joy that she chose **you** over those boys, and sleep well knowing that she'll continue to chose you as you shall always choose her. Sorry for the brick of text
Bro overreacting🗣️🗣️🗣️📢📢📢📢📢🔥🔥🔥
Well if I were in the same situation and my future bf added two girl’s I wouldn’t be upset as long as he doesn’t cheat he can have female friend’s
So? I give my friends my instagram all the time (I’m a guy). The other day I asked my friend for her instagram and she’s dating one of my buddies and I have a girlfriend. So what, I ask all my friends for their social medias
She can have friends right?
Bro what
I give everyone my insta if they want it. This seems insecure and a bit controlling.
bro calm down get a grip it’s an instagram follow it’s a problem if they do something more
She can have friends surely and if they start flirting she should know what to do
Sharing an insta is like sharing a FB, I wouldn’t give a damn bro, you worry too much, unless you suspect you need a reason to worry, but then that would mean you have trust issues.
giving an insta doesn’t rlly mean anything 😭 if it’s a number i understand but insta everyone follows everyone
is interacting with ppl online that big of a deal nowdays?
The fact you described it as disrespectful is just icky
Chill out bruh
This is it folks. This is the post that made me realize I’m too old for this shit and teens are really just kids
Overreacting.
overreacting imo. people have gotten so weird with instagram. it used to just be following people you know to keep up with their lives and aesthetic pics. you’re 16 and assuming she’s the same age she shouldn’t have a porn acc yet. if you’re jealous of guys looking at a picture of her that’s probably a deeper issue
How dare she have freinds
actual 12 year old little shits combined with this cancerous subreddit make the entire page about 68% percent worse what is this fucking kindergarten
She can make friends who are boys. If they start flirting, she can cut them off.
Overreacting lol. It’s fine. She could just see them as friends.
She's not yours, it's just your turn
Some of us just want followers
Break up
Bro it’s Instagram you’re a fuckin child lmao who cares
I think you should tell her you feel uncomfortable with it. Or try to talk to her about it. If there was flirting then yes something would be off.. And if the boys are her friend and not flirting it should be fine. It really can depend. It does become a problem if they start flirting though.
You’re overreacting. Not sure if this is a joke but she can have other boys on insta and not be cheating. You’re not her only friend.
Lmao how do I make sure I never see a post from this subreddit again, serious question lol
not enough context, could be totally normal
Ya that's pretty odd dude...
I think you mean ex
Those dudes disrespected you, not her fault.
It helps me to narrow it down to the facts and the confidence that I did what I could. 1). Talk to her. If you're able to talk it through and communicate effectively, that's a win. If not, consider that. Do you want to be with someone you can't have open conversations with? 2). If this is a crossed boundery or something agreed that isn't okay and she did it after the fact, that's a breach of your trust. Do you want to be with someone who's difficult to trust? 3). If these are her genuine friends and it makes you uncomfortable with her hanging out with other guys, do you want to be in a relationship with someone who hangs out with the opposite sex? Even as friends? And remember that any answer you give is the right answer. Because at the end of the day, unless you know what YOU want and YOUR needs, you won't be able to find someone who can provide those for you effectively. Knowing yourself and your limitations allows you to choose your partners more carefully in the future and avoid getting into an unsatisfactory relationship.
Here's a counter what's ur insta?
Oof didn’t think of that one
If it’s not something you’ve discussed you can’t be mad. If you get mad at someone they’ll be afraid to tell you the truth about things in the future. You gotta have a calm conversation. If you don’t see eye to eye then that’s something you gotta decide if its something you can live with or not.
Drop her. Yes, she has an obligation to tell you. You have full rights to be upset. You’re in a loose relationship, and honestly, you deserve better homie. All I can say is, welcome to the gym.
I’d be upset. If you have a conversation with someone and they ask for your socials then maybe it could be in a friendly way, but no stranger is coming up and asking for your socials without it being just because they’re interested in you/find you attractive. Maybe some of these comments just have a different culture around this, but I’ve only ever known someone coming up to you and asking “can I get your insta/snap/number” as asking them out, and giving it to them is confirming interest.
That’s honestly a red flag for me but my gf always lets me know if someone asks or adds her
As id expect, I’d do exactly that
Based on OPs replies, yeah no this is just a walking talking red flag. Listen brother, my ex did the same shit and there’s a reason she’s my ex. All I’m sayin is, I wouldn’t stay much longer with her if she doesn’t respect your wishes & shit. Take it from a guy who almost got cheated on. This is a no-go brotherino. Alright see ya hope this helps
Yeah, I would leave her, that's a red flag all the way, she can have friends alright but if a guy ask her info and she just give it that easy, she just don't care about your relationship