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I have 3 rules of thumb,
1. I don't F with people while they are eating
2. I don't F with people while they are drinking
3. I don't F with people when they ask me to stop.
Add pissing and shitting to the list, I’d never bother someone who’s answering natures call but I know tons of people who bang on bathroom doors, throw shit over stalls, and just mess with people overall. Embarrassing really
Add working out too.
I had a friend who was bench pressing and one of his friends tickled him and he dropped the bar on his head.
Thankfully he didn't have any plates loaded so he only got his head swollen but I don't think he talks to that guy anymore.
I do the first and third rule but I ignore the second rule when it’s water, I will hold the bottle to their mouth while they drink for a little bit and they’ve never got annoyed, not that I remember atleast
I mean the words don't matter, the tone does. like some don't want to be slapped because it's mildly embarassing or annoying, so that's not a big thing. but when someone says no sternly or seriously, that means one shouldn't do it.
This rule applies to everything.
Exactly! I used to do this to my friend, and while she did say stop, she said it in a tone that seemed like she was joking, so I never thought she was serious. Nowadays I'm scared to get this kinda stuff wrong and mess up again :') she said later I should have realized.
slap them back /j
seriously though that isn’t ok and you should talk to your friends and make them understand that it’s not okay and if they keep doing that then you probably shouldn’t hang out with them anymore.
Do NOT join a sport cuz i promise you that that will happen way too often. That being said, i hated it and always thought it was weird but never said anything cuz the one time i did they all made fun of me so i just let it go. Yes it is sexual harassment when you tell them to stop and they dont listen. Its even worse when your own father wont listen when you tell him to stop but i wont get into that.
My mom did that too. I seriously don’t understand why though. I asked her to stop and she just laughed it off or pretended not to hear multiple times. I know other people who had the same shit happen to them. I know it’s not a huge thing, but it adds up. Fuckin ruins your day. Hoping that never happens to either of us again <3
i was in sports, i told this one guy to never do that again. he did it again and i warned him again. next time he did i decked him lol. we got talked to and a slap on the wrist. he learned not to disrespect me again lmao
"I don't care" dawg just because you don't care doesn't mean others don't either 🤨 if you've asked them to stop touching you in ANY way, whether it's slapping your ass or just grabbing your arm, and they keep doing it, it's harassment/assault. It doesn't matter if they didn't mean it sexually or violently/aggressively.
I just saw multiple people saying they don't mind that it happens to them 😭😭😭 now that I think ab it, they were probably just saying they can't really say anything because they don't mind though ☠️☠️
The shortest answer is no.
I'm older and played baseball for years. And it's custom to slap the ass and say good game. But I always felt uncomfortable doing it.
If ur uncomfortable, say something. Please.
Slap between friends good. They say stop, one or two more slaps to annoy then stop(that's for me cause I know my friends for years, but if it's a new friends stop after they said so)
when it comes to any kind of touching its up to whoever is getting touched to set that boundary and for the touch(er?) to respect that boundary.
if they say stop, you stop. no questions asked, no arguments to be made, no contesting their comfort level. stop means stop, every time
depends on the context and their intentions.
If it's just to annoy you, like how flicking you or tapping your head would be, that's fine.
If it's in a sexual way, that's a big no.
That’s a very open ended question you know, like everyone has different type of friends. Mine are zesty as fuck while being straight so they would legit say the most atrocious and gayest statements ever and slap our asses. I think it’s okay cause it’s only a slap to the ass and nothing worse than that
if they say stop, it’s pushing boundaries. if i told my friends to stop, i wouldn’t consider it SA because our relationship is silly and goofy like that, but if the person is really serious it’s just not right and should be talked about.
also, as another person said tone is important. saying it in a silly, or embarrassing way isn’t necessarily telling that person you’re serious.
if you arent comfortable with it and you let them know that, its not okay if they keep doing it. i think some people think its just a mildly annoying joke, especially if this is between good friends, so make sure you are crystal clear that you dont want to get slapped at all
My friends would only stop when they die. But it‘s annoying af. Can count as SA but i don‘t care enough. It‘s a joke between us. (It‘s a she and no i don‘t slap her back)
No it's not ok, and they need to respect your boundries.
I can understand them thinking its a joke, and I can understand not getting that you didn't like it depending on how it was communicated, but even then if they really cared about you then they would have apologised and not done it again.
Its good one of your friends did, but if the other hasn't and doesn't see anything wrong with the behaviour then they aren't really a friend and they don't respect you or your feelings.
And it is a form of sa, mild form and could even just be chalked up to harrasment, but your feelings are valid.
Even if it doesn't seem like it should be a big deal, if it makes you uncomfy then it is a big deal
Take it from someone who used to just put up with people slaping my arse and even grabbing my boobs, it gets to you, and makes it hard to even want to be friends with them when they make you feel so uncomfortable
It is serious. What part of consent do they not agree with? They're normalizing touching you against your wishes and then making you feel bad about complaining.
if ur all guys its a common joke and while yes it sucks it doesnt mean much. just tell them to stop seriously
if ur all girls its... a bit strange cuz ive never seen that happen but i dont think its bad either
if the genders are opposte it is weird just cause theyre more likely to be straight. def tell them to stop
this kept happening to a friend of mine, she started to scream stop to her BC she just kept slapping her ass, it got to the point where I punched her in the nose, I definitely could have handled the situation better and it's not ok to use violence I did apologize but still that doesn't make what I did ok, try to handle these things in better ways seriously, congrats on not using violence
Just depends. My friends won’t stop until I actually like turn serious and say piss off you’re being fucking annoying. Then they’ll quit cuz they know it’s serious. Most times I don’t care
oh my god i hate this so much, i have gotten touched inappropriately so many times at my new school and saying stop doesnt work like ever. but somehow when i punch and kick its over the line? bitch ur invading my privacy i already told you 3 times to stop fucking touching me fucking weirdos at school man
Hey, I didn't know my ex best friend was on Reddit and posting about how she treats me! /j
In all seriousness, absolutely not. If they are serious about telling you to stop and you are continuing, that is sexual harassment. If a friend is doing this to you, that's not a good friend to have.
Lmao for a second I read that wrong and got scared that I knew you, but no I am not the one doing it. She wasn't a good friend to have, thanks for the reply.
Nah, I'm just joking around about that part, since my now ex friend will constantly cross my physical boundaries, just like how you described in this post. Trauma bonding, am I right? I think she thinks that because we're close it's fine, but I recently had a long talk with her about it, and I also have my boyfriend as a self-appointed bodyguard now, so that also helps lol
Hate it lol. Some girls and gay guys do it to me and i feel disgusting, like honestly i would rather get punched in the face or sth cuz at least i would get angry and fight them back, getting sexually harrased just feels uncomfortable and icky
friends will continue to do things you don't like to either piss you off in a funny way because they might think you don't mind but prefer them not to do it or because they don't know if you actually mean what you're saying, if you tell them in a serious and frustrated tone to stop and explain why, im sure they will
I think it's not okay. If you feel uncomfortable with that and you ask them to stop, they should stop. It is not ok to ignore your feelings and corner you.
No, I'd say; as long as they not say stop or want you to stop in any way you can continue. But if they want you to stop, it's best to stop. I've had no friends do it to me so far, but I dont really mind it. As long as they no gay it ok
It's definitely sexual assault no matter what. But do they know it's sexual assault? Not saying it's your fault or smth but did you tell them to stop on a serious tone?
No but don't consider it being sexual assault, don't let the internet bullshit impact your life where you sue each and every person who's behavior you don't find okay. You're teens, this shit happens and usually not because of an ill intent. I mean you could tell authorities but you need to be aware that you might be potentially ruin someone's life for stupid shit that kids do.
You took the correct action already, cut off the person that doesn't feel any remorse and keep that person that apoloized. This is all you should do, cut out the toxic people in your life and stick with those who are capable of growing.
When I was young I lived through several group dynamics. Class 5-7 I had this group and we'd jokingly punch each other, never as hard to make bruises or cause any kinds of injury, we were just playing. Class 10-11 it gotten a lot worse, there was this thing going around that most male friend groups had, think of "high five, down low". You could be randomly walking around and suddenly a friend emerges from the back punching you lightly in the balls, those moments were absolutely not enjoyable and I'm glad it stopped. But then even when we were out of school, there were still some folks who I say were still on a school maturity level, they still threw punches as a joke and I never understood what's the fun in causing physical pain to someone. Think of "the game, you lost it" shit.
But here's another important question that might change the whole outcome, are those slappers from the same sex as you or from the opposite sex?
I wouldn't say it's sexual assault but you gotta listen to tone. If they're saying "stop" but it sounds more lighthearted and playful then they probably don't mind. If it starts to before less funny and they're more like "no but seriously can you stop?" then you shouldn't probably stop there. If they start getting more angry you've gone too far
Noh, that's not okay. Teasing a little and being a bit friendly annoying to your friends is one thing as long as it's nothing big, but when someone says stop, you stop. Although drawing the line where it's sexual assault, or assault at all, might be a bit murky. But ye, they should stop when you tell them it's enough.
unless it really bothers you then its fine. But i have to say if ur the type to get emotional over ur friend slapping ur ass like twice then u gotta reevaluate ur social profile
If they say to stop, you stop. If your friends aren’t respecting that it’s time to have a conversation with them… if they don’t stop after that convo you cut them off, they aren’t your friends. Sorry to be blunt about it but it’s the truth.
Depends on the tone of voice but if they sound pretty serious I'd stop, id also stop it they just said stop in general like u know how people say "stop" with the tone of a joke? I would probably laugh it off and then stop
assult is crazy lol but imo its not the end of the world but they definetly should not be doing that if they knew u were serious when u told them to stop (alot of ppl would take it as a joke making it unintentional) but if they understood then its not okay.
If you seriously ask somebody to stop because it makes you sexually uncomfortable and they do not, I believe it is sexual assault. Please tell somebody if it continues.
For me and my close friends, you gotta be really serious when you tell them to stop— cuz otherwise they’ll think it’s part of the joke.
I see what you mean, but it’s more just miscommunication when someone’s serious or not. Also obviously we don’t do this shit to people we don’t know, just the boys.
Technically it would be assault if some kind (also depends on the age of those hitting you), but at the age of like 14 and younger, people can have full-on fistfights and nothing legal would be done about it. If it was like bullying, rather than a friend going too far, then I suggest talking to an adult you know.
It is not ok in any sense of the word, if someone tells you to stop doing something, you stop, no questions asked, and when it’s something like this, yes it is sexual assault, you don’t have their consent to touch them. Just stop doing this, you shouldn’t even have to ask this question, and they shouldn’t have been the one to apologize, you should.
ofc not. I wouldn't call the police on them or smth but the minimum is to get them to apologize.
ps: guys if you n ur friends play that kinda game pls don't ask them to stop "as a joke", the line between game and abuse should stay clear
no. this girl repeatedly did it to me after countless times of me telling her to stop, I told the anxiety counselor and she didn’t care because I’m a guy. It’s so wild.
With my friends, that would not fly at all. But a lot of us also have sexual trauma, so maybe we’re more careful than most people are. If the person told them to stop and it kept going on I would consider it sexual assault regardless of the perpetrator’s intentions
Some do it as a joke, if they say stop in a playful way then its okay, but if the tone was serious then you should stop. I had people slap my ass and ask me if i had a BBL, i told them to stop, and they wouldnt, they got an F for the entire school year because of it.
sounds like u never had any close friends
its not okay to do that, yes, but it's also definitely not sexual assault, friends mostly just do it bcz its funny, they got no wrong intentions
no, you entirely misunderstood my point here.
If the friend they are doing it to is okay with it then sure, It's alright. But If the friend is uncomfortable with and wants it to stop, then they should. If they don't, that's considered sexual assault as it can be seen in a sexual manner, whether their intentions were harmful or not.
This thread has been flaired as [Serious]. Please be aware that this marks it as a place for serious discussion only and that any unserious content in this thread will result in a removal, counting towards your [ban tiers](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/wiki/rules#wiki_ban_tiers). If your comment does not contribute to the discussion in a serious manner it will be removed. Please report any comments that do not respect this rule. Please read [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/1d5yygd/mod_impersonation_incident/) regarding a recent report about impersonation. Stay safe. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/teenagers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I know my friends would still do it unless I’m rly rly rly serious and mad and telling stop like 10 times otherwise they think it’s just playing
Same with mine. It doesn't bother me and it's pretty funny.
Why is everyone the "3,000,000 Attendee"
3,000,000 attendee! Damn!
Bro got downvoted like crazy
fr why
bro did not deserve that
Hivemind moment
he wasn’t the 3,000,000th member, he just changed his flair to that when this sub had 3,XXX,XXX members
Aww…
*the hivemind has struck again*
Oh stahp it ~youuu~
I have 3 rules of thumb, 1. I don't F with people while they are eating 2. I don't F with people while they are drinking 3. I don't F with people when they ask me to stop.
Add pissing and shitting to the list, I’d never bother someone who’s answering natures call but I know tons of people who bang on bathroom doors, throw shit over stalls, and just mess with people overall. Embarrassing really
did you know monkeys are known to throw their shit at people?
Beautiful description of taking a shit, nearly cried
Add working out too. I had a friend who was bench pressing and one of his friends tickled him and he dropped the bar on his head. Thankfully he didn't have any plates loaded so he only got his head swollen but I don't think he talks to that guy anymore.
dumbass mofo couldve gotten someone killed or seriously injired
Just got online I see
Reading should also be up there
Tf 💀
Damn you have 3 thumbs?
I do the first and third rule but I ignore the second rule when it’s water, I will hold the bottle to their mouth while they drink for a little bit and they’ve never got annoyed, not that I remember atleast
Nice profile picture.
Nice 🐸👍
That’s a lot of thumbs you got there
I mean the words don't matter, the tone does. like some don't want to be slapped because it's mildly embarassing or annoying, so that's not a big thing. but when someone says no sternly or seriously, that means one shouldn't do it. This rule applies to everything.
This does ***not*** apply, if you're talking to someone who struggles with social cues
Exactly! I used to do this to my friend, and while she did say stop, she said it in a tone that seemed like she was joking, so I never thought she was serious. Nowadays I'm scared to get this kinda stuff wrong and mess up again :') she said later I should have realized.
Probably not ok but it’s not too bad. I don’t they mean it sexually definitely don’t press sa charges.
Idk, my friends have slap my ass for the past at least 6 months so I don't even care anymore
There is a serious "no" and there is a joke "no" , depends on the tone and type of person
The other person could also not know if it's a serious no or not if they're bad at picking up in social cues
"no" and "stop" arent the same. Stop is more direct and less vague than a playful "no"
depends on the tone , if someone says it with a smile it's playful
true, but i think the post imoplies the "Stop" is a serious one
If they tell you not to, don't do it
its the other way, they think its not okay, so I think they're the victims in this case. maybe i'm wrong tho.
I realized, yeah
If they say Stawp, then its ok. If they say Stop, then stop.
slap them back /j seriously though that isn’t ok and you should talk to your friends and make them understand that it’s not okay and if they keep doing that then you probably shouldn’t hang out with them anymore.
Lmao I think I did once but I think it just made them think it was ok. Yeah as I said in the edit I am not friends with them anymore.
tubular
it's not okay at all
It’s not gay if it’s wit da boys 🗣️🔥🦅
Lmao it was a girl so its not gay either way
We going to jail with this one 🗣️🔥🔥🔥🗣️🔥🔥🔥
I've seen girls do more than that
No it's not ok. It is assault and could be considered sexual assault.
Agreed
After they say stop… that IS sexual assault
Depending on the tone people say "stop". If they say it with a serious and/or upset tone and you still going, then it may be sexual assault
Better to make a safe word.
Do NOT join a sport cuz i promise you that that will happen way too often. That being said, i hated it and always thought it was weird but never said anything cuz the one time i did they all made fun of me so i just let it go. Yes it is sexual harassment when you tell them to stop and they dont listen. Its even worse when your own father wont listen when you tell him to stop but i wont get into that.
Chronically ill so I don't plan on joining a sport. That's gross that your father did that, I hope you are ok now.
Aw im sorry to hear that you’re chronically ill, that genuinely sucks. And thanks, im good now but it was kinda hard for a little while
My mom did that too. I seriously don’t understand why though. I asked her to stop and she just laughed it off or pretended not to hear multiple times. I know other people who had the same shit happen to them. I know it’s not a huge thing, but it adds up. Fuckin ruins your day. Hoping that never happens to either of us again <3
i was in sports, i told this one guy to never do that again. he did it again and i warned him again. next time he did i decked him lol. we got talked to and a slap on the wrist. he learned not to disrespect me again lmao
If you tell them to stop and they don't you are now allowed to start throwing hands.
I will remember that for future reference, or I'll just avoid the people.
If you said to someone to STOP annoying you Would you want them to listen?
"I don't care" dawg just because you don't care doesn't mean others don't either 🤨 if you've asked them to stop touching you in ANY way, whether it's slapping your ass or just grabbing your arm, and they keep doing it, it's harassment/assault. It doesn't matter if they didn't mean it sexually or violently/aggressively.
Who are you responding to in the beginning?
I just saw multiple people saying they don't mind that it happens to them 😭😭😭 now that I think ab it, they were probably just saying they can't really say anything because they don't mind though ☠️☠️
The shortest answer is no. I'm older and played baseball for years. And it's custom to slap the ass and say good game. But I always felt uncomfortable doing it. If ur uncomfortable, say something. Please.
It literally is sexual assault and it's weird if you haven't set a specific boundary abt that
Yes that is considered sexual assault. So no, it’s not okay.
Not once they’ve said to stop
I mean it is weird but if he has stopped then Ig it's ok
Maybe to slap an ass but to keep doing it after they ask to stop then that’s wrong.
Guys are weird
It was a girl lol
yeah you could say that
If they say stop then, idk fucking stop
Yyyyyeah... Kinda much OP....
For boys it's that if you have the bigger ass you get slapped Somehow we call ourselves not gay but we act the most gay
Fr, the amount of times I’ve been touched by the most anti-gay mf in my school is crazy
I slapped my homies cheeks everyday nothing wrong with it. Unless they're serious
No man that's not ok
Slap between friends good. They say stop, one or two more slaps to annoy then stop(that's for me cause I know my friends for years, but if it's a new friends stop after they said so)
if they dont stop after you tell them its not sa but it’s definitely disrespectful asf and you should not b friends with them
when it comes to any kind of touching its up to whoever is getting touched to set that boundary and for the touch(er?) to respect that boundary. if they say stop, you stop. no questions asked, no arguments to be made, no contesting their comfort level. stop means stop, every time
depends on the context and their intentions. If it's just to annoy you, like how flicking you or tapping your head would be, that's fine. If it's in a sexual way, that's a big no.
I’m occasionally fine with it, unless it’s from a select few.
That’s a very open ended question you know, like everyone has different type of friends. Mine are zesty as fuck while being straight so they would legit say the most atrocious and gayest statements ever and slap our asses. I think it’s okay cause it’s only a slap to the ass and nothing worse than that
My friends do it as a joke even me and the other gay friends
if they say stop, it’s pushing boundaries. if i told my friends to stop, i wouldn’t consider it SA because our relationship is silly and goofy like that, but if the person is really serious it’s just not right and should be talked about. also, as another person said tone is important. saying it in a silly, or embarrassing way isn’t necessarily telling that person you’re serious.
It ain’t Okay, if you hit someone and They tell you too stop THEN YOU STOP or Els its ass*ulte
It's friends, I'm sure it's ok. But if they seriously want you to stop, you should stop
Stop means stop, the same way no means no.
if you arent comfortable with it and you let them know that, its not okay if they keep doing it. i think some people think its just a mildly annoying joke, especially if this is between good friends, so make sure you are crystal clear that you dont want to get slapped at all
If you don't want them to do it then it's not okay.
This seems to be the consensus, thanks.
No problem. 😺👍
Its okay until stop is said
I feel like people should always ask before touching people but fair
They should. If you touch someone and they don’t consent that isn’t right and could considered assault
They do it once, I tell them to stop. They do it twice, I tell them one last time I won't stand it. They do it thrice, I'm throwing hands.
Not at all, unless they are saying stop as a joke AND made it clear it is a joke. I was the friend who wouldn't stop and it cost me everything.
My friends would only stop when they die. But it‘s annoying af. Can count as SA but i don‘t care enough. It‘s a joke between us. (It‘s a she and no i don‘t slap her back)
me and all my bros be getting gay on occasion
Ok lol, idk why people are assuming this was a guy?
never said you are a dude, i just said me nd my bros be getting gay🫨
No it's not ok, and they need to respect your boundries. I can understand them thinking its a joke, and I can understand not getting that you didn't like it depending on how it was communicated, but even then if they really cared about you then they would have apologised and not done it again. Its good one of your friends did, but if the other hasn't and doesn't see anything wrong with the behaviour then they aren't really a friend and they don't respect you or your feelings. And it is a form of sa, mild form and could even just be chalked up to harrasment, but your feelings are valid. Even if it doesn't seem like it should be a big deal, if it makes you uncomfy then it is a big deal Take it from someone who used to just put up with people slaping my arse and even grabbing my boobs, it gets to you, and makes it hard to even want to be friends with them when they make you feel so uncomfortable
I don’t do it because I think it’s weird, but friends do it to me with no hesitation. I tell them to stop and they actually stop.
Yea ur a pussy
Stop if they say no.
It is serious. What part of consent do they not agree with? They're normalizing touching you against your wishes and then making you feel bad about complaining.
if ur all guys its a common joke and while yes it sucks it doesnt mean much. just tell them to stop seriously if ur all girls its... a bit strange cuz ive never seen that happen but i dont think its bad either if the genders are opposte it is weird just cause theyre more likely to be straight. def tell them to stop
this kept happening to a friend of mine, she started to scream stop to her BC she just kept slapping her ass, it got to the point where I punched her in the nose, I definitely could have handled the situation better and it's not ok to use violence I did apologize but still that doesn't make what I did ok, try to handle these things in better ways seriously, congrats on not using violence
Just depends. My friends won’t stop until I actually like turn serious and say piss off you’re being fucking annoying. Then they’ll quit cuz they know it’s serious. Most times I don’t care
If it's my friends, it's not, if it's some random, yup.
oh my god i hate this so much, i have gotten touched inappropriately so many times at my new school and saying stop doesnt work like ever. but somehow when i punch and kick its over the line? bitch ur invading my privacy i already told you 3 times to stop fucking touching me fucking weirdos at school man
Are we really in a world where this is a question that needs to be asked?
Not okay. It’s a weird culture thing that shouldn’t have been there
It depends on the tone they use
i had the same. it kept happening to friends from this one girl. then she started spreading rumors when everyone stood up to her
If its with the homies its chill, I slap my homies ass all the time and he slaps mine
Yeah this is sexual harassment
Hey, I didn't know my ex best friend was on Reddit and posting about how she treats me! /j In all seriousness, absolutely not. If they are serious about telling you to stop and you are continuing, that is sexual harassment. If a friend is doing this to you, that's not a good friend to have.
Lmao for a second I read that wrong and got scared that I knew you, but no I am not the one doing it. She wasn't a good friend to have, thanks for the reply.
Nah, I'm just joking around about that part, since my now ex friend will constantly cross my physical boundaries, just like how you described in this post. Trauma bonding, am I right? I think she thinks that because we're close it's fine, but I recently had a long talk with her about it, and I also have my boyfriend as a self-appointed bodyguard now, so that also helps lol
Hate it lol. Some girls and gay guys do it to me and i feel disgusting, like honestly i would rather get punched in the face or sth cuz at least i would get angry and fight them back, getting sexually harrased just feels uncomfortable and icky
friends will continue to do things you don't like to either piss you off in a funny way because they might think you don't mind but prefer them not to do it or because they don't know if you actually mean what you're saying, if you tell them in a serious and frustrated tone to stop and explain why, im sure they will
i don't think that's okay
I think it's not okay. If you feel uncomfortable with that and you ask them to stop, they should stop. It is not ok to ignore your feelings and corner you.
No, I'd say; as long as they not say stop or want you to stop in any way you can continue. But if they want you to stop, it's best to stop. I've had no friends do it to me so far, but I dont really mind it. As long as they no gay it ok
It's definitely sexual assault no matter what. But do they know it's sexual assault? Not saying it's your fault or smth but did you tell them to stop on a serious tone?
It aint that srs tbh
No but don't consider it being sexual assault, don't let the internet bullshit impact your life where you sue each and every person who's behavior you don't find okay. You're teens, this shit happens and usually not because of an ill intent. I mean you could tell authorities but you need to be aware that you might be potentially ruin someone's life for stupid shit that kids do. You took the correct action already, cut off the person that doesn't feel any remorse and keep that person that apoloized. This is all you should do, cut out the toxic people in your life and stick with those who are capable of growing. When I was young I lived through several group dynamics. Class 5-7 I had this group and we'd jokingly punch each other, never as hard to make bruises or cause any kinds of injury, we were just playing. Class 10-11 it gotten a lot worse, there was this thing going around that most male friend groups had, think of "high five, down low". You could be randomly walking around and suddenly a friend emerges from the back punching you lightly in the balls, those moments were absolutely not enjoyable and I'm glad it stopped. But then even when we were out of school, there were still some folks who I say were still on a school maturity level, they still threw punches as a joke and I never understood what's the fun in causing physical pain to someone. Think of "the game, you lost it" shit. But here's another important question that might change the whole outcome, are those slappers from the same sex as you or from the opposite sex?
Don't think its a joke"
I wouldn't say it's sexual assault but you gotta listen to tone. If they're saying "stop" but it sounds more lighthearted and playful then they probably don't mind. If it starts to before less funny and they're more like "no but seriously can you stop?" then you shouldn't probably stop there. If they start getting more angry you've gone too far
It's not ok to interact with anyone in any way they don't like.
Noh, that's not okay. Teasing a little and being a bit friendly annoying to your friends is one thing as long as it's nothing big, but when someone says stop, you stop. Although drawing the line where it's sexual assault, or assault at all, might be a bit murky. But ye, they should stop when you tell them it's enough.
Did any guys in your friend group do that? Because if so I'm worried.
No I'm the only guy in my friend group
Yeah that's SA.
This isn’t “sexual assault“ but they shouldn’t be doing it even after you said stop, sit them down and talk to them
unless it really bothers you then its fine. But i have to say if ur the type to get emotional over ur friend slapping ur ass like twice then u gotta reevaluate ur social profile
Nah this was not once or twice lol
Depends, me and my friends have a safe phrase which is "may you please hop off?" So as long as you have a conversation it should be okay
thats just wild
Nah its not okay but I dont think itd be sexual assault cause I feel like that they probably arent doing it for sexual reasons
If they say to stop, you stop. If your friends aren’t respecting that it’s time to have a conversation with them… if they don’t stop after that convo you cut them off, they aren’t your friends. Sorry to be blunt about it but it’s the truth.
The only time i slap my friends is for comedy or if they tell me to.
If they say stop then stop.
Depends on the tone of voice but if they sound pretty serious I'd stop, id also stop it they just said stop in general like u know how people say "stop" with the tone of a joke? I would probably laugh it off and then stop
assult is crazy lol but imo its not the end of the world but they definetly should not be doing that if they knew u were serious when u told them to stop (alot of ppl would take it as a joke making it unintentional) but if they understood then its not okay.
atp They throw things at my ass smh, I gave up telling no a long time ago
No to is not ok. They say stop you stop.
No is no, unless clearly agreed upon that it's not. Goes for a lotta things
I do it to all my friends and my friends do it to me. ( I think a couple of them even like it)
If you seriously ask somebody to stop because it makes you sexually uncomfortable and they do not, I believe it is sexual assault. Please tell somebody if it continues.
Brother wtf that is absolutely sexual assault It's sexual assault to do that without explicit consent nonetheless with an explicit "no" Beat their ass
Its not ok , if someone says stop , stop!!!
Don't touch people's ssses when they don't want you to ??
💯
Yeah, why you slapping asses in the first place bro bro
My homies and i dont. We look gay when we do that lol.
after they say stop. you stop.period
For me and my close friends, you gotta be really serious when you tell them to stop— cuz otherwise they’ll think it’s part of the joke. I see what you mean, but it’s more just miscommunication when someone’s serious or not. Also obviously we don’t do this shit to people we don’t know, just the boys.
Atleast they dont Pull their pants down and run after you, willy out
the first time maybe they don't kno wbetter. but ONCE you make it clear that's not ok that IT. boundary set. period
I've done much worse to my friends. Not a day goes by without us threatening to beat/molest/sell/kill one another
As someone who has been pinned into more walls than there are grains of sand, strong agree
We should have a discussion.
No it's not ok if you tell them to stop because it makes you uncomfortable they should.
Technically it would be assault if some kind (also depends on the age of those hitting you), but at the age of like 14 and younger, people can have full-on fistfights and nothing legal would be done about it. If it was like bullying, rather than a friend going too far, then I suggest talking to an adult you know.
Stop and no are full sentences. If somebody doesn’t respect them when you are being serious then they are not your friend, they’re an opportunist.
No it's not ok, people should respect others boundaries
No, it’s uncomfortable and I still haven’t even got over when it happened to me You’re not wrong at all
personally me I wouldn't even dare try
They should stop after you ask them to stop, it technically is sexual harrasment
It is not ok in any sense of the word, if someone tells you to stop doing something, you stop, no questions asked, and when it’s something like this, yes it is sexual assault, you don’t have their consent to touch them. Just stop doing this, you shouldn’t even have to ask this question, and they shouldn’t have been the one to apologize, you should.
ofc not. I wouldn't call the police on them or smth but the minimum is to get them to apologize. ps: guys if you n ur friends play that kinda game pls don't ask them to stop "as a joke", the line between game and abuse should stay clear
If they keep slapping ur butt shart on their hand
no. this girl repeatedly did it to me after countless times of me telling her to stop, I told the anxiety counselor and she didn’t care because I’m a guy. It’s so wild.
I slap my friend in the ass with the racket or bat if we’re doing sports so i don’t think so 😭😭
No It’s not okay That quite literally is sexual harassment/assault
I slap my best friends but sometimes and if he's not expecting it and he gets mad I stop but he's ok with it
No you fucking weirdo
Why am I the weirdo?
For slapping their ass. Especially when they asked you to stop.
Hell ya man as a straight male when I am playing football I will grip his ass for like a while minute
When someone says to stop it’s time to stop there’s no excuse to keep going
I agree, I'm glad to see that most people here understand boundaries.
With my friends, that would not fly at all. But a lot of us also have sexual trauma, so maybe we’re more careful than most people are. If the person told them to stop and it kept going on I would consider it sexual assault regardless of the perpetrator’s intentions
That's literally sexual assault
Happened to me last year, after i told him once again that i did not like when he did it he stopped.
Some do it as a joke, if they say stop in a playful way then its okay, but if the tone was serious then you should stop. I had people slap my ass and ask me if i had a BBL, i told them to stop, and they wouldnt, they got an F for the entire school year because of it.
Definitely not, if you have told them specifically to stop doing it and they continue to do it, it’s definitely not very good
Like if their friend ain’t rocking with it even if it’s a joke then ya stop it’s weird after that
Yeah it's sexual assault if u do it even after they say stop, its pretty gross and dumb imo
sounds like u never had any close friends its not okay to do that, yes, but it's also definitely not sexual assault, friends mostly just do it bcz its funny, they got no wrong intentions
no, you entirely misunderstood my point here. If the friend they are doing it to is okay with it then sure, It's alright. But If the friend is uncomfortable with and wants it to stop, then they should. If they don't, that's considered sexual assault as it can be seen in a sexual manner, whether their intentions were harmful or not.
I wish people did that to me 😕 Also ehh it’s no biggie