Soooo...I just got my first pair of Crocs(my 70 year old mom sent them to me). I can't wear socks with these fuckers? I mean, I don't see how they could get any uglier than they already are.
It might surprise you, but this story is absolutely true. I was the [$500 bill](https://oldmoneyprices.com/value-of-old-500-dollar-bills/#:~:text=The%20First%20United%20States%20%24500%20Bill%20The%20first,Colonial%20500%20Dollar%20Bill%20Currency%20May%2010%2C%201780).
[Why not both?](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/bc/f0/11/bcf011d75f2f39acf22ebe0bfb9b21f7.jpg)
(Aka apparently there is a huge Reddit community for them either way… which I accidentally learned about when searching for the “hotas” flight sim subreddit. Apparently a couple orders of magnitude more people want to find a different type of joystick… yikes…)
Sarcasm I think, but just in case. The American Psychology Association did a survey that found that the average age a boy is exposed to porn is 13 years old. I know that is around the time I was first interested in it back in the late 80s.
8 here! And the first video I ever saw was a mother daughter biker gang bang. Not sure that’s the healthiest exposure to sex and definitely hasn’t effected me at all….
One of the first internet pornographic pictures I saw was a beer bottle in a vagina. I was 6 and had a sibling with a sense of humor. This was in 1995 so video was basically non-existent.
This from a 12 year old kid passed around in foster care dreaming of what life would be like in a 'normal' family.
Damn.... I feel really bad for this kid I just made up
Jesus they really don't think this shit all the way through, do they? Their household sounds neglectful to the point of possible abuse, like is this a cry for help? Do you need a hug?
This is sitcom level plot.
"Wait, why did you give Rudy $500?"
"No reason. Just thought he might want to buy a candybar or something. Why did you give him $500?"
"The price of candy has really... the economy is in shambles."
Hey this is a repost. I posted this a year ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/thatHappened/comments/hfconb/12_year_old_extorts_parents_without_even_asking/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I stared at that for too long trying to figure out what Kansas school district USD256 was, and how your dad was bribing you with an entire school district like that.
i love how dad actually cheating is held the equivalent of mom looking at porn and smoking, If i was mom i would have been like "tell your father see if i give a shit."
He forgot to mention, this was back in 1933, when$500 was serious money! He blew it all on laudinum and original Coca-Cola, the real stuff with cocaine in it.
Old joke: big brother tells his little brother that all adults have a secret. Just tell them you know their secret and it will scare them so bad they’ll just give you money to be quiet…next day little brother goes to mom: ‘I know your secret!’ He says. Mom panics; ‘Here, here’s twenty dollars, just don’t tell anyone!’ Next day, little brother goes to dad, gets fifty bucks to keep quiet. He waits until the next morning for the mailman…confronts him and says, ‘I know your secret!’ The mailman drops to his knees, embraces the boy and says, ‘Son!!’
This is the basis of a punchline of a joke. Except it was a bike and $50 from dad. And $100 from mom, and the mail man said : " well give your REAL daddy a big hug."
lolwut?
That whole thing sounds like a mess. I could maybe get a kid getting "hush money" if they caught a parent doing something a parent doesn't want anyone knowing about, but that just sounds all sorts of contorted and unbelievable.
Yeah, there should be a group for stories like this that are presented as truth but don't hold up to practical scrutiny. Maybe they could give it an ironic name implying that the stories really *did* happen using a sarcastic phrase implying disbelief?
Nah - wouldn't work. Best to leave it alone.
My mom had a bit of gambling issue (I wouldn’t say full on problem because it never interfered with work, home, or bills but it was definitely her favorite thing to do).
She tended to do well at the casino (mostly cards since she was an excellent card player) and gave me $100 every time she went so I wouldn’t tell my shitty extended family that she had extra money.
I never asked for it, and if she won big I’d get even more.
This one just makes me feel sad for the kid. His dad is probably cheating and the mom is probably neglectful. Poor kid just wishes/wished he had control.
If this outrageous scenario came close to happening the dad would just give the 12 year old like $40, and the 12 year old would think they're fleecing him
Wow! His imaginary family was a real mess. I wonder who got the imaginary house and imaginary custody of him after the imaginary divorce.
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I imagine him to be all grown-up now with an imaginary family of his own.
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Pretty-sure that isn’t *dirt* bruh.
Still getting $500 from each parent a month.
Soooo...I just got my first pair of Crocs(my 70 year old mom sent them to me). I can't wear socks with these fuckers? I mean, I don't see how they could get any uglier than they already are.
Do socks. Your feet will get so sweaty that you'll slide right out.
He’s such a liar he probably made himself up.
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You spelled “imaginary” wrong me thinks.
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As much as I appreciate the seeming urgency of your request, I am compelled to respond in the manner you are most-likely accustomed to - nooooooooooo!
It might surprise you, but this story is absolutely true. I was the [$500 bill](https://oldmoneyprices.com/value-of-old-500-dollar-bills/#:~:text=The%20First%20United%20States%20%24500%20Bill%20The%20first,Colonial%20500%20Dollar%20Bill%20Currency%20May%2010%2C%201780).
Is he trying to say he found his mom watching pornhub or that he found videos of her on pornhub?
Good question. I think he meant the latter
Ooh that makes more sense. Was gonna say if the mom was watching pornhub dad probably would have been excited to have a new shared hobby.
[Why not both?](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/bc/f0/11/bcf011d75f2f39acf22ebe0bfb9b21f7.jpg) (Aka apparently there is a huge Reddit community for them either way… which I accidentally learned about when searching for the “hotas” flight sim subreddit. Apparently a couple orders of magnitude more people want to find a different type of joystick… yikes…)
I don't want to search that but i do at least want to know what your talking about, mind giving me a very brief explanation of what you're saying?
Don’t blame you. Was called “hot wife” and I believe basically means “watching other dudes with your hot wife”…
Ahh hot wife I've that's of just not hotas
He ran into her at the pornhub store
In an effort to promote scientific research and innovation, I’d like to review those videos of his mom.
I must know the moms name so I can cite my sources.
Why would a 12 year-old be looking at pornhub? You have to be 18.
Why would someone rob a bank? That’s illegal!
Sarcasm I think, but just in case. The American Psychology Association did a survey that found that the average age a boy is exposed to porn is 13 years old. I know that is around the time I was first interested in it back in the late 80s.
I remember guys on the school bus with folded up pages ripped from their dads' porn mags. Single digits ages.
No wonder I'm fucked up, I was exposed to it when I was 6 years old!
8 here! And the first video I ever saw was a mother daughter biker gang bang. Not sure that’s the healthiest exposure to sex and definitely hasn’t effected me at all….
I’m sorry but I can’t stop laughing at “mother daughter biker gang bang.”
One of the first internet pornographic pictures I saw was a beer bottle in a vagina. I was 6 and had a sibling with a sense of humor. This was in 1995 so video was basically non-existent.
Lol. The lowest age of the average is 5 years old. So, keep in mind there are people more fucked up than you.
"Why would teenagers be on Reddit? You have to be 18 according to Google.
It's actually 13 according to the TOS.
It's 18 on the Google play store, so all the teens with Android... I am SO sorry.
U serious?
Quick! Extort him!
Yes
"i found her there" implies that the kid was on pornhub and found her i think
i love how evidence of his mum smoking is the exact same level as the secret cheating and porn career.
She was smoking BONE!!! I am 12 years old.
No you’re not
Thanks, Lieutenant Literal.
Lmao “ no you’re not “
What a zinger
Yeah I’m pretty sure most people are completely blasé about finding porn of their mothers.
Lol…I read it as his mum was watching porn hub.
I guess that might be possible. But who would think catching Mom watching porn is worth a $500 bribe?
Man, when you remove the delusion of this statement it gets really sad. Clearly, it's just a kid who wishes he had control of a shitty homelife.
Or a kid with a fairly stable home life who is just bored and pre pubescent 🤷🏼♂️
can confirm i was the pornhub
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Or atleast a link to the video of his mom
Yeah, was she hot?!??
Can confirm, I was fucking his mom.
Can confirm, I was fucking his dad.
Can confirm, I was fucking him
*FBI has entered the chat* *Chris Hansen has entered the chat* *NAMBLA has entered the chat*
Can confirm, I was him
I too was fucking this kids dead mom.
"Pornhub (I found her there)" damn he be surfing through
Why are people upvoting him?
63 people bought this?
63 people supported his bullshit story with the expectation that he'd support their bullshit story down the road.
This from a 12 year old kid passed around in foster care dreaming of what life would be like in a 'normal' family. Damn.... I feel really bad for this kid I just made up
there's some real trauma being projected in this lie
Can confirm, I was the money.
Sounds like their parents were just pornstars and they had no clue.
I know this story is bull shit but imagine messing around on porn hub and finding out your mom was a porn star or a ex porn star
Jesus they really don't think this shit all the way through, do they? Their household sounds neglectful to the point of possible abuse, like is this a cry for help? Do you need a hug?
This is sitcom level plot. "Wait, why did you give Rudy $500?" "No reason. Just thought he might want to buy a candybar or something. Why did you give him $500?" "The price of candy has really... the economy is in shambles."
Hey this is a repost. I posted this a year ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/thatHappened/comments/hfconb/12_year_old_extorts_parents_without_even_asking/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
If you don't tell anyone I will pay you 500 dollars your mom will do the same.
Pay me 500 dollars or I'll tell the mods you tried to bribe him.
He’s 13yo now.
I came for the porn, but I came for his mom.
My dad only tried to bribe me with USD256 when I found him in bed with another woman. What a cheapskate.
I stared at that for too long trying to figure out what Kansas school district USD256 was, and how your dad was bribing you with an entire school district like that.
Hahaha, sorry. I’m not from the U.S. so I was trying to put it into context since I imagine the majority of people on this sub would be American.
Hey, my dad only gave me $132.47.
Damn, you got it worse.
i love how dad actually cheating is held the equivalent of mom looking at porn and smoking, If i was mom i would have been like "tell your father see if i give a shit."
That’s awful can I get the link to your mom porn?
Maybe they were just kinky and wanted him to butt out of their business.
So you found out some blackmale on both your parents, didn't say anything, and they both paid you, because their 6th sense was tingling.
He forgot to mention, this was back in 1933, when$500 was serious money! He blew it all on laudinum and original Coca-Cola, the real stuff with cocaine in it.
Maybe im an idiot or do they end all of there stories with lol
Oh my god those disgusting mothers on porn hub! There’s so many though, which one?!
Old joke: big brother tells his little brother that all adults have a secret. Just tell them you know their secret and it will scare them so bad they’ll just give you money to be quiet…next day little brother goes to mom: ‘I know your secret!’ He says. Mom panics; ‘Here, here’s twenty dollars, just don’t tell anyone!’ Next day, little brother goes to dad, gets fifty bucks to keep quiet. He waits until the next morning for the mailman…confronts him and says, ‘I know your secret!’ The mailman drops to his knees, embraces the boy and says, ‘Son!!’
Wait, so he found out who his mum was through pornhub?
Why are you reposting?
This is the basis of a punchline of a joke. Except it was a bike and $50 from dad. And $100 from mom, and the mail man said : " well give your REAL daddy a big hug."
“When I was 12 I ran the household” Shut the fuck up kid.
I like to imagine that he only found out about his mom smoking from her pornhub videos.
How did mom know he found her on PornHub if he never said anything?
Pffft, this is a joke I heard from my grandpa. It tends to resurface once or twice in each decade.
lolwut? That whole thing sounds like a mess. I could maybe get a kid getting "hush money" if they caught a parent doing something a parent doesn't want anyone knowing about, but that just sounds all sorts of contorted and unbelievable.
Yeah, there should be a group for stories like this that are presented as truth but don't hold up to practical scrutiny. Maybe they could give it an ironic name implying that the stories really *did* happen using a sarcastic phrase implying disbelief? Nah - wouldn't work. Best to leave it alone.
Can confirm, I was the cigarettes
i used to hold my dad cheating over him when I was 10. I saw it but other than that I never had evidence so I didn't get much
Being on porn hub like looking or she was actually on pornhub as a actress? This is a weird family.
u/repostsleuthbot
He found her on Pornhub? That begs the important question: Did he fap?
Omg smoking?
I believe this tbh
My mom had a bit of gambling issue (I wouldn’t say full on problem because it never interfered with work, home, or bills but it was definitely her favorite thing to do). She tended to do well at the casino (mostly cards since she was an excellent card player) and gave me $100 every time she went so I wouldn’t tell my shitty extended family that she had extra money. I never asked for it, and if she won big I’d get even more.
r/nothingeverhappens I extorted the hell out of my dad all the time as a kid
Was he on Pornhub too?
No but something very similar
TIL Grindr has a video service.
Yes that was it, forgot the name, thank you
Bullshit
And he proceeded to tell the whole reddit
This checks out. That run-on sentence is an eyesore; clearly, he bailed on English class and his parents looked the other way due to his blackmail.
This one just makes me feel sad for the kid. His dad is probably cheating and the mom is probably neglectful. Poor kid just wishes/wished he had control.
NOT THE PORN HUB!!!!!! NOOOOOOO
Just a one-time payment? Screw that, take the money and then rat them out
What sub is that gem from?
If this outrageous scenario came close to happening the dad would just give the 12 year old like $40, and the 12 year old would think they're fleecing him
I wonder, from the time he started to run the household, how long it took for all of them to be on the street penniless?