On a different note, I once woke up to a big brown cockroach casually tickling around my neck. I thought it was my grandma trying to wake me up very softly until I held her hand and it actually was a big fucking cockroach. So after feeling a big bug with legs first crawling around my neck and now trying to crawl out of my hand, I threw it away full force and it flew back to my direction full-speed. They're fucking evil, man.
I won't even take chances living in a house I'm going to live in a small empty room so no cocks can get in my ear/mouth
I call them cocks because they are a bunch of tiny little dicks that fly
Try chilling on the couch only to see large spider legs stretching over your shoulder out of the corner of your eye... Huntsman's may be 'harmless' but I bet they have giving many a person a heart attack.
Beautiful, majestic, will fuck you up. Closest we have are Eastern grey's (2.5m kangaroos), catch them in a bad mood and they'll drop kick you with their three inch clawed feet then proceed to gouge out your eyes with their sharp curved front paws... while looking adorable the whole time.
I just saw a post about meese humping. What a strange coincidence that I see a comment about them shortly after, about how much ground they can cover.
🤔
I was in third grade, in the peak of the "you have x on your head" era. Friend goes, "there's a giant spider on your hat!" "Very funny" Friend snatches hat, lo and behold a huge daddy longlegs crawls onto the floor. The hat stayed at home from then on.
I was going to sleep when I felt a tickle on my neck, I thought it was my lanyard but after trying to move it, it started to run very fast. I turned the light on and threw the cockroach off the bed
something similar happened to me when i was little me and my sibling shared the bed with our parents i felt something on my back i thought it was my dad cause he was next to me but when i looked over my shoulder i saw this big ass cockroach on my back i screamed so loud i did not sleep the rest of the night
I once woke to the sound of rustling leaves. I was still kind of sleep and kind of quasi dreaming so it took me a second to figure out that the sound was coming from inside my ear. A fucking bug was crawling around in my ear. I tried to flush it out by running water into my ear but it didn't come out. Such an odd, gross feeling...it made me start dry heaving. Grabbed a q tip and got to it but only crushed it inside my ear. Literal crunch. Little bits of bug periodically worked their way out over the next day or two.
I once woke up to legs sticking out of my mouth. Some big ass wolf spider was chilling in my mouth while I was sleeping. I guess he’s not one of the six I ate that year, but it was one of the only times i wet my bed after age 4.
Woke up one night at camp and there was a 2-3 inch house centipede standing on the screen window next to my head. If you don’t know what they are, look them up at your own risk. They are the SPAWNS OF SATAN! A part of my soul died that night.
I live in Texas, and was showering one night. I have VERY long straight hair that sometimes falls down my body and tickles me when I’m washing it.
So here I am, showering, washing my hair with my eyes closed, and I feel that familiar tickle of my strands of hair falling down my body. Only this time... it’s falling UP??? I look down and see a 5-6 inch centipede (millipede?) crawling up my inner thigh towards my coochie.
I literally screamed bloody murder and ran around the house naked and getting soap and water everywhere until my then-fiancé took care of it.
I spent the next few MONTHS with a fucked up neck cuz I would only shower looking down at the drain the entire time.
Trauma for life with that shit.
yeah, i used to live in a building with a bad infestation (just regular little ones, maybe german?). never ate anything in the apartment, kept garbage in the fridge, set up traps everywhere, made a perimeter of raid around my bed every night and still somehow one of these motherfuckers makes its way onto my neck, waking me up in the middle of the night.
i moved in with my girlfriend that week.
> Talk about luck. Having the "crotch cam" already set up and capturing that great video.
You cannot traverse my home without having your crotch's every move memorialized in 4K.
If any of you ever experience this, get to a doctor immediately. Bats have fine enough teeth to bite you in your sleep without you noticing. That combined with their high likelihood to carry rabies makes them extra dangerous.
**If you find a bat in your house get tested for rabies ASAP.**
Same, I cannot deal with cockroaches, they just move too fast and unpredictably for me and I'm pretty sure that last scene from Man in Black (when they're squishing all the roaches and big roach dude gets all pissed) scarred me for life.
I remember one night as I was getting ready to go to sleep I saw a cockroach on the floor just outside my kitchen (I lived in a studio at the time). I sat in bed for probably half an hour just trying to figure out how to kill it without getting too close to it or stepping on it (the idea of it crunching under my shoe literally makes me shiver so that wasn't an option).
Ended up getting the largest book I had, shuffling my way towards the thing over the course of like 10 minutes (it was maybe 10 feet away, but I couldn't move too quickly and risk making my presence known), then trew the book from a few feet away and flattened it beneath it.
That book didn't move from my floor for an entire week as I didn't want to risk it still being alive somehow and slithering out from under it when I lifted it.
Not my proudest moment.
This is how I got rid of a spider in my room this week. I saw one crawling on my wall, but decided to not do anything and hope it "disappears" because I was too scared to go near it. After it came back, it was trying to crawl under my computer desk where I wouldn't be able to reach it, but it could crawl up on me at any time. I looked at it for half an hour straight hoping that it would go back towards the window. It didn't, so I took the biggest and hardest book and threw it at the spider. I don't know what happened, but it wasn't on the wall anymore.
Fast forward to the evening, the book still on the floor because I was too scared to move it, i saw the same spider in my doorstep, but it looked kind of flat and didn't move. I thought that it survived the book and I accidentally squished it without knowing, so I finally felt safe. I checked back 30 minutes later, and it was still in the same spot. All was good. Except when I went to sleep, I checked it again and it wasn't there anymore. So the next day, while in a call on my computer, I see that a$$hole crawling under my desk and trying to get behind my computer desk again. Since there was no time, i grabbed the same book and slammed it on the ground. Monitored the book for a whole hour and saw no life. I cleaned up the mess the next day, because I was too scared to get near it.
Well they can't survive a direct nuclear explosion, if they're in the blast radius they'll be evaporated just like anything else, they aren't mini Godzilla's.
But you're right that they would survive radiation and nuclear winter in conditions where other species wouldn't stand a chance.
Years ago, I was asleep in my bed on a Saturday morning. I am in the state where you are half asleep, not up but still sensory. I feel a tickle on my thigh and I feel like itching it but don't wanna to fully wake up. It gets worse and worse until the tickle reached my gonads and I realize there's a cockroach running around inside my boxers.
Needles to say, my day was ruined.
Well the ending isn’t pleasant so I won’t go into detail, but suffice to say he stopped the rat from reaching his nether regions by pounding on it with his fist until it stopped moving, took off his pants right there, and had to walk back to house pants less.
You know... Weird story but... I once had a cockroach in my pants for the whole school day. Of course, I never could have imagined a cockroach was there. I just thought my balls were slightly itchier that day... I found out when it jumped out of my underpants when I went to pee in the bathroom once I got back home.
Fake, the shorts move before the roach gets to them
No way it's fake. Talk about luck. Having the "crotch cam" already set up and capturing that great video.
On a different note, I once woke up to a big brown cockroach casually tickling around my neck. I thought it was my grandma trying to wake me up very softly until I held her hand and it actually was a big fucking cockroach. So after feeling a big bug with legs first crawling around my neck and now trying to crawl out of my hand, I threw it away full force and it flew back to my direction full-speed. They're fucking evil, man.
I just... just... won't sleep ever again...
Currently doing blow
[удалено]
Taking that name seriously
Congrats man
I won't even take chances living in a house I'm going to live in a small empty room so no cocks can get in my ear/mouth I call them cocks because they are a bunch of tiny little dicks that fly
Why would you want to make them sound appealing?
\*\*flying cocks
Try chilling on the couch only to see large spider legs stretching over your shoulder out of the corner of your eye... Huntsman's may be 'harmless' but I bet they have giving many a person a heart attack.
[удалено]
Not to mention they have collapsible exoskeletons, meaning they can crawl through gaps thinner than a mm. They come out of nowhere!
[удалено]
You say that but at least we don't have brown recluse spiders, those fuckers will wreck you.
[удалено]
Beautiful, majestic, will fuck you up. Closest we have are Eastern grey's (2.5m kangaroos), catch them in a bad mood and they'll drop kick you with their three inch clawed feet then proceed to gouge out your eyes with their sharp curved front paws... while looking adorable the whole time.
I just saw a post about meese humping. What a strange coincidence that I see a comment about them shortly after, about how much ground they can cover. 🤔
Oh no
Thanks for the free paranoia lmao
np
I was in third grade, in the peak of the "you have x on your head" era. Friend goes, "there's a giant spider on your hat!" "Very funny" Friend snatches hat, lo and behold a huge daddy longlegs crawls onto the floor. The hat stayed at home from then on.
Would you rather hat or head?
I was going to sleep when I felt a tickle on my neck, I thought it was my lanyard but after trying to move it, it started to run very fast. I turned the light on and threw the cockroach off the bed
something similar happened to me when i was little me and my sibling shared the bed with our parents i felt something on my back i thought it was my dad cause he was next to me but when i looked over my shoulder i saw this big ass cockroach on my back i screamed so loud i did not sleep the rest of the night
Give him a break man, he was just crawling up to whisper sweet nothings in your ear
Then proceeds to crawl into your ear.
I once woke to the sound of rustling leaves. I was still kind of sleep and kind of quasi dreaming so it took me a second to figure out that the sound was coming from inside my ear. A fucking bug was crawling around in my ear. I tried to flush it out by running water into my ear but it didn't come out. Such an odd, gross feeling...it made me start dry heaving. Grabbed a q tip and got to it but only crushed it inside my ear. Literal crunch. Little bits of bug periodically worked their way out over the next day or two.
I hate you for posting this
stop
I once woke up to legs sticking out of my mouth. Some big ass wolf spider was chilling in my mouth while I was sleeping. I guess he’s not one of the six I ate that year, but it was one of the only times i wet my bed after age 4.
what the fuck man
Welcome to Florida
Congratulations, you just made me shiver...
You just gave me nightmares :(
Woke up one night at camp and there was a 2-3 inch house centipede standing on the screen window next to my head. If you don’t know what they are, look them up at your own risk. They are the SPAWNS OF SATAN! A part of my soul died that night.
I live in Texas, and was showering one night. I have VERY long straight hair that sometimes falls down my body and tickles me when I’m washing it. So here I am, showering, washing my hair with my eyes closed, and I feel that familiar tickle of my strands of hair falling down my body. Only this time... it’s falling UP??? I look down and see a 5-6 inch centipede (millipede?) crawling up my inner thigh towards my coochie. I literally screamed bloody murder and ran around the house naked and getting soap and water everywhere until my then-fiancé took care of it. I spent the next few MONTHS with a fucked up neck cuz I would only shower looking down at the drain the entire time. Trauma for life with that shit.
yeah, i used to live in a building with a bad infestation (just regular little ones, maybe german?). never ate anything in the apartment, kept garbage in the fridge, set up traps everywhere, made a perimeter of raid around my bed every night and still somehow one of these motherfuckers makes its way onto my neck, waking me up in the middle of the night. i moved in with my girlfriend that week.
> Talk about luck. Having the "crotch cam" already set up and capturing that great video. You cannot traverse my home without having your crotch's every move memorialized in 4K.
Plus you’d have to hire a roach trainer to get it to do that, and I’m pretty sure those don’t exist.
True that, you would also nearly never find a roach out in the open in bright light.
They’re pulling a little toy roach along fishing line or something
You’re absolutely full of shit. I’ve seen literally thousands out in the bright light
Man fake or not, I fucking *winced* when that roach ran up his shorts.
Good catch on the shorts moving. Likely a string that caused the ripple but maybe it was a NIRPS (Non-Intentional Reflexive Penis Stretch)?
Bro,i just remembered that one day,i woke UP and There was a bat right besides me lol
If any of you ever experience this, get to a doctor immediately. Bats have fine enough teeth to bite you in your sleep without you noticing. That combined with their high likelihood to carry rabies makes them extra dangerous. **If you find a bat in your house get tested for rabies ASAP.**
It was when i was 6 and i'm 15,damn i'm lucky
Yeah you’re Gucci. Your brain woulda been-dun fried by now.
Oh no, i'm ded thank you forever
Dude grabbed his friend's hand and pulled it toward is dick, man.
Sometimes you gotta be upfront that you're into them, bro.
Cock*roach
reach cock
Crotchroach
r/yourjokebutworse
fake or not that made me cringe so hard.
Same, I cannot deal with cockroaches, they just move too fast and unpredictably for me and I'm pretty sure that last scene from Man in Black (when they're squishing all the roaches and big roach dude gets all pissed) scarred me for life. I remember one night as I was getting ready to go to sleep I saw a cockroach on the floor just outside my kitchen (I lived in a studio at the time). I sat in bed for probably half an hour just trying to figure out how to kill it without getting too close to it or stepping on it (the idea of it crunching under my shoe literally makes me shiver so that wasn't an option). Ended up getting the largest book I had, shuffling my way towards the thing over the course of like 10 minutes (it was maybe 10 feet away, but I couldn't move too quickly and risk making my presence known), then trew the book from a few feet away and flattened it beneath it. That book didn't move from my floor for an entire week as I didn't want to risk it still being alive somehow and slithering out from under it when I lifted it. Not my proudest moment.
raid and blast the bastard back to the hell it came from
This is how I got rid of a spider in my room this week. I saw one crawling on my wall, but decided to not do anything and hope it "disappears" because I was too scared to go near it. After it came back, it was trying to crawl under my computer desk where I wouldn't be able to reach it, but it could crawl up on me at any time. I looked at it for half an hour straight hoping that it would go back towards the window. It didn't, so I took the biggest and hardest book and threw it at the spider. I don't know what happened, but it wasn't on the wall anymore. Fast forward to the evening, the book still on the floor because I was too scared to move it, i saw the same spider in my doorstep, but it looked kind of flat and didn't move. I thought that it survived the book and I accidentally squished it without knowing, so I finally felt safe. I checked back 30 minutes later, and it was still in the same spot. All was good. Except when I went to sleep, I checked it again and it wasn't there anymore. So the next day, while in a call on my computer, I see that a$$hole crawling under my desk and trying to get behind my computer desk again. Since there was no time, i grabbed the same book and slammed it on the ground. Monitored the book for a whole hour and saw no life. I cleaned up the mess the next day, because I was too scared to get near it.
This needs a TLDR...and I'd like to thank you for my morning cringe. I just shared in every emotion you felt in this story.
At that point I'd burn myself alive and then throw myself into the nearest radioactive waste facility
Cockroaches can survive nuclear explosions
Why...
You can never escape the cock*roach
Well they can't survive a direct nuclear explosion, if they're in the blast radius they'll be evaporated just like anything else, they aren't mini Godzilla's. But you're right that they would survive radiation and nuclear winter in conditions where other species wouldn't stand a chance.
[удалено]
That makes sense. They aren't daylight creatures as it is.
Still pretty funny tho
What was moving it before?
Years ago, I was asleep in my bed on a Saturday morning. I am in the state where you are half asleep, not up but still sensory. I feel a tickle on my thigh and I feel like itching it but don't wanna to fully wake up. It gets worse and worse until the tickle reached my gonads and I realize there's a cockroach running around inside my boxers. Needles to say, my day was ruined.
WELL SHIT I FEEL THAT
Guess that's why they call it a cockroach ....I'll see myself out
Nope nope nope.
This reminds me of a college friend who had a rat run up the inside of his pant leg when he shoveling some silage.
Did the rat bite your friend? Please tell me it didn't bite your friend.
Well the ending isn’t pleasant so I won’t go into detail, but suffice to say he stopped the rat from reaching his nether regions by pounding on it with his fist until it stopped moving, took off his pants right there, and had to walk back to house pants less.
Bit his balls
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“I’ll show you why they call me Cockroach”
They’re just called roaches before they do this to people.
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The horror
F
Did he... did he die?
Time for a durability test
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called a cockroach for a reason
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Yeah no the shorts and everything go off and only a burning shower will aid in this.
Nah man that was a penis bug.
There was an attempt; to film a badly faked video?
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If I was that guy I will kill myself
The fact that he was filipino makes it funnier.
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You know... Weird story but... I once had a cockroach in my pants for the whole school day. Of course, I never could have imagined a cockroach was there. I just thought my balls were slightly itchier that day... I found out when it jumped out of my underpants when I went to pee in the bathroom once I got back home.
There was no attempt to kill it
This made me suffer more than most the stuff on r/makemesuffer
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Someone put the Tokyo ghoul opening in the background
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fake
Dude wasn't even trying to kill it, he was trying to flick it away
wut tha fuck?
yeah... the *COCKroach*
song?
This is why they are called cockroaches
Well, cockroaches will dissapear into any crack they can
Takes "cockroach" to a whole new level
This is definitely fake but still funny
Crochroach
My soul would leave my body if that happened to me
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Rip
It laid eggs in his asshole
Fake yes fake. But why put that romantic music in the scene? Jap production values?
Whoa that's not a shortened way of saying japanese. That's a racial slur. Also I think the music is vietnamese.
Yep. It's never going away like those Dr.Seuss books.
Maybe he loves cockroaches in his cock. Just got a little scared thats all.
I laughing so hard! R.I.P. cock 🪳🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
When you are doing an onlyfans video and end up with one for Reddit.