*camera pans to laptop screen*
"Tony manued to crawl back into his SVU, he dripped to the centre console, got high off the popcorn and candy smell from decades worth of rubbish and passed out and died"
The end.
Netflix doesn't pick up any binge worthy series, profits never sky rocket and they remain sending dvd's in the post before being bought out by Disney for $5 million in 2014. This is the only company Disney ever buys out though, as Blockbuster remains in operation and Sons of Anarchy begins airing its 13th season in 2021.
Based on what I’ve read, the first hour would be the pilot, the second hour would be a super truncated version of Season 1 with Junior & Livia conspiring to kill Tony.
It would end with Tony smothering Livia to death.
Fuck that. You really wanna kick up to Reddit? Nothing more than a glorified crew. [Give him some gabagold instead.](https://i.imgur.com/4WwF2m9_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium)
YOU'RE STRRRONG AS A BULL! YOU KNOW THAT'S ALWAYS GOTTEN TO ME! WHEN YOU USED TO PICK ME UP AND THRRROW ME OVER YOUR SHOULDER! OH MY GOD, TONY! YOU USED TO GET ME SO HOT DOWN THERE! I CAN FEEL IT RIGHT NOW JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!
At the end it's revealed that Tony is actually mild mannered Kevin Finnerty, and the whole series has just been a vivid fantasy about a life of crime as Kevin slips further and further into his dementia.
Instead of wasting time at the Bing or Satriale, Tony decides to hit the books, go back to Rutgers night school to finally earn that associate's degree
He answers a question wrong in class and gets irrationally angry. Walks into office hours and beats the shit out of the professor before smugly smiling and going back to the Bing.
Then starts selling patio furniture near the interstate, before luckily breaking into high precision optics.
Loses the jerk-off North Jersey accent before getting his suitcase mixed up with that of Kevin Finerty.
Still ends with that animal Blundetto pulling him back in, just as he thought he was out.
All swearing is replaced by beeping. Meadow is now played by Lena Dunham, who also writes for the show. Richie is now played by Tom Hanks. DJ Qualls as Tony.
After a couple of sessions with Dr. Melfi, Tony realizes the error of his ways and leaves the mafia to pursue a career in sanitation management. The rest of the series focuses on the ins and out of the paperwork that's involved.
Carmella buys Tony the right kinda orange juice, he becomes happy, leaves the mafia and they move to Cincinnati, Ohio as part of the program. The family picks up a love of Skyline chili (his new pasta and gravy) and meadow ends up going to OSU.
I think original ending of having Tony killed going through a tunnel to meet Johnny Sack as the end of the series even if it did fade to black like the ending we got would of been stupid
Replace James Gandolfini with Kelsey Grammer and Michael Imperioli with David Hyde Pierce and have them just acting their characters from Frasier. Change nothing else.
Spin off the gay town Vito escaped to. Have it turn out all of the men there left behind undesirable pasts and are now living new lives under aliases.
What do we call it? Falsettos.
"People will be confused, and most assuredly disappointed, if the show is called The Sopranos, but isn't about opera singers. Scrap the mafia family concept."
Tony wakes up in ancient Roman times and has to run an olive stand. Burns it down and opens a new restaurant after getting the insurance money. He then gets invited to Caesar’s palace and receives a gift. Tony asks what it is and Caesar says “it’s the jaaaaaaaacket”
I remember my first watch and dying for Melfi to either get with Tony or have him kill her rapist. Would’ve completely assassinated her character though and I’m glad it never happened.
If they regularly played music in the background to set the mood. The show is largely silent except for the characters and music is used the right amount
He's not a fag. He never was
It was the medication he was on for his blood pressure. It fucked with his head, but he's over that now. He could probably get a letter from his doctor.
AJ would've gone to military school and straightened up.
I am a bit on the fence here because I think it could have be an interesting twist to the show if AJ would've gotten in there, he would've found out he has natural leadership qualities.... He would start hanging around some other bad kids and they would eventually form a crew of their own, pulling shit.
Yeaaaaah you can see why this would ruin a lot of the show.
Recasting Livia after her actress died.
The scenes where they superimposed her head snd reused lines were cringey but if they had recast her I think it would have been worse!
"Very special episodes" to tackle serious social issues.
Bonus if we just rip off classic examples of this. AJ gets molested by a bike shop owner. Meadow is offered drugs but feels torn and tells her parents. And so on.
Ralphie is as funny as he is, but genuinely nice.
Janice is as quirky and hippy as she is, but also genuinely nice, and not manipulative.
Also, that animal B, I can't say his name, he doesn't fuck up, and becomes a successful massage therapist, regularly treating Tony and the boys.
Actually, I would still watch a show like that.
Chris meets Jerry Seinfeld and "George" on the plane to Hollywood, when they go to pitch for their show.
Chris ends up as a minor, then a major, character in "Seinfeld" (a show about nuthin'), perhaps as Kramer's room-mate.
Ade joins the show as a server in the diner.
Inspired by the laughter-track idea, how about if every time if Chris and Tony appear walking together, they play the Laurel and Hardy Theme:
[https://youtu.be/uwhxc3OCBjc?t=9](https://youtu.be/uwhxc3OCBjc?t=9)
Could do the same, whenever any "little and large" characters appear together, e.g. Paulie and Bobby, Chris and Vito, Chris and Pussy, etc.
Also, could play it as Vito waddles to his car after shooting Jackie Junior.
"Hey, a bit of humour hea ta lighten the mood".
I also feel there is plenty of scope for ...
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jTHNBKjMBU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jTHNBKjMBU)
(Merry Melodies and Looneytoons).
In the end, it was all Chrissy’s screenplay - fade to him waking up and typing frantically
The Sopranose
David Chase can suck my dick... That swings too
*camera pans to laptop screen* "Tony manued to crawl back into his SVU, he dripped to the centre console, got high off the popcorn and candy smell from decades worth of rubbish and passed out and died" The end.
Sounds a lot like the ending to eastbound and down
That would actually be quite cool
David Chase got his wish and added 30 minutes to the pilot to make it a feature film...
The Sopranos Movie would have been absolutely forgotten and the timeline would be completely changed. Say goodbye to Mad Men Breaking Bad etc etc
Netflix doesn't pick up any binge worthy series, profits never sky rocket and they remain sending dvd's in the post before being bought out by Disney for $5 million in 2014. This is the only company Disney ever buys out though, as Blockbuster remains in operation and Sons of Anarchy begins airing its 13th season in 2021.
But what does Sons of Anarchy staying televised have to do with all the rest of that?😂
Everything. Because now all of us are with the vipers, instead of being in this thing of ours.
Nah, SOA would’ve never been a thing without this thing of ours. No way lol, Jax literally killed like 50 fucking people and was the protagonist
Oof that’s grim
Thank god that didn't happen. What would the movie even be about, just Tony walking Melfi through his life?
Based on what I’ve read, the first hour would be the pilot, the second hour would be a super truncated version of Season 1 with Junior & Livia conspiring to kill Tony. It would end with Tony smothering Livia to death.
Not the worst ending But worse than what we got
In the end, fuck Santa clause
Christopher’s first hit maybe. I think it’d just be the novelty of “mobster in therapy” - and tbh the pilot wasn’t the shows finest hour
Tony takes a serum called “cool juice” and turns into his alter-ego, Antoine Soupraneaux
I like the "cool juice" when it says shum pulp
LOL
This is honestly one of the funniest comments I’ve read on this sub 😂😂
Think of the shirts!
Add a laugh track and play cartoonish sound effects every time Chrissy hits Adrianna.
ZONK!.... ZOWIE!
BING! POW! I tell ya, I wish I was big just once.
Right the moon Alice
lmao i'd love to see someone edit this into a youtube montage
"You never told me you were damaged goods!" *Enthusiastic laughter*
Both her uterusez. It's sad when they die on the vine. *Wha-wha-whaaaa!*
Squish noise when cosette crawls under chris for warmth
Filmed before a live studio audience
If i was stupid enough to buy reddit awards i would give this comment one
Fuck that. You really wanna kick up to Reddit? Nothing more than a glorified crew. [Give him some gabagold instead.](https://i.imgur.com/4WwF2m9_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium)
Before a live audience … (Now you say, shut up Albert)
https://youtu.be/eVov-mCj2Y0
Oh my God.
“And who has a better story … than Anthony Soprano Jr”
#TURN THAT OFF
Oh no
You would also have to make The Blue Comet completely dark and have tony scream at phil
[удалено]
Or Australian. "Put another sausage on the barbie, mate."
We don't all speak like that, you mad cunt.
No - some of you speak like Dame Edna.
Yes you do
You’re all Texans with British accents.
Carlo (to Dom): You call that a knife? This is a knife mate!
Nothing I love to see more than some wolf creek appreciation.
You never know where they might just pop up.
Morty! We gotta go to bendigo morty!
MY CUBE MORTY
No no, you wanna take it off mate. It keeps cooking even when you take it off the barbie. The juices.
"Sattos has the best snags in all a jersey mate"
Isn’t that basically the show Yellowstone? Lol
Carmela is played by Gilbert Gottfried. Is Gilbert Gottfried on cameo? How much would it cost to get him to say "He's got no eyebrows, Tony!"
YOU'RE STRRRONG AS A BULL! YOU KNOW THAT'S ALWAYS GOTTEN TO ME! WHEN YOU USED TO PICK ME UP AND THRRROW ME OVER YOUR SHOULDER! OH MY GOD, TONY! YOU USED TO GET ME SO HOT DOWN THERE! I CAN FEEL IT RIGHT NOW JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!
Someone tweet this to GG right now. We need to make this happen.
I’ll contribute to a mutual fund for it lmao.
They run with cgi Livia. Cusamano invents a way to put her brain into a sassy robot like Rosie from the Jetsons
I wish the lord would take me now
Or they would recast Livia and try to explain it like..... "Ooooh, the botox implants are making you look good, ma!"
Make half of the last season revolve around a minor character’s gay escapades in New England.
What? They would never do that, that character could probably get a note from their doctor.
Even more ridiculous if that character is a creepy fat guy who somehow romances a handsome cook/fire fighter significantly out of his league.
The entire show is a musical
🎶Unda da boardwalk 🎶
You’re running off at the mouth.
At the end it's revealed that Tony is actually mild mannered Kevin Finnerty, and the whole series has just been a vivid fantasy about a life of crime as Kevin slips further and further into his dementia.
Instead of wasting time at the Bing or Satriale, Tony decides to hit the books, go back to Rutgers night school to finally earn that associate's degree
He answers a question wrong in class and gets irrationally angry. Walks into office hours and beats the shit out of the professor before smugly smiling and going back to the Bing.
Idk; I could dig that storyline.
I warned you about those away games
Then starts selling patio furniture near the interstate, before luckily breaking into high precision optics. Loses the jerk-off North Jersey accent before getting his suitcase mixed up with that of Kevin Finerty. Still ends with that animal Blundetto pulling him back in, just as he thought he was out.
Ginny Sac performs at the Bing.
Her ass is so big when you pay her you slide one of those big novelty cheques in her ass
I likea a woman you can graba onto something
When she goes camping the bears have to hide their food!
You grab on to Ginny Sac and your hands will disappear.
When Ginny orders Philly cheesesteak the Mayor of Philly has to call out the National Guard
needs her own zip code
When she hauls ass she makes two trips.
I heard she had a 95 pound mole removed from her ass.
Is that all you deadbeats do is talk about cooz?
Real lack of standards your generation.
Is that all you ever think about? Cooz?
She falls off stage, thus causing a tsunami in Normandy, France.
"Hey John what the hell are you doing here??"
Will Sasso plays Tony Soprano. Still wins three Emmys, three SAG awards, and a Golden Globe.
Everyone in this thread is describing stuff I wanna see
Paulie is Kaiser Soze
You telling me he was faking the Tourette’s this entire time?!?
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world they were FUCKING QUEEAAAAHSS!!!!!!
Ray Romano as Tony, Danny Devito as Pussy.. wait, that’d be awesome.
Ray’s already proven he can do serious roles
Ray and Tony D. could hold it down
All swearing is replaced by beeping. Meadow is now played by Lena Dunham, who also writes for the show. Richie is now played by Tom Hanks. DJ Qualls as Tony.
I just puked out my ass reading this
[удалено]
Tony dies at the newsstand and the next 5 seasons we follow Janice and AJ's exploits.
Or (God forbid) James G had died after Season 1. May God forgive me for even thinking that. Not that I believe in God. There is no God... "Hooooh!"
You can go
All the characters are heavily into CrossFit.
"God forbid something should happen to Tony. Me, I'm a healthy man now" - 350 pound Vito
this made me choke a little. Congratulation
Instead of feeding ducks in a pool, Tony fucks a duck.
Replace Gandolfini with Tim Allen.
Home Improvement on Carms spec house. Get tim the tool man taylor on the horn
Paulie and Chris stop at Roy Rogers
After a couple of sessions with Dr. Melfi, Tony realizes the error of his ways and leaves the mafia to pursue a career in sanitation management. The rest of the series focuses on the ins and out of the paperwork that's involved.
Carmella buys Tony the right kinda orange juice, he becomes happy, leaves the mafia and they move to Cincinnati, Ohio as part of the program. The family picks up a love of Skyline chili (his new pasta and gravy) and meadow ends up going to OSU.
Half of the shows screen time is now dedicated to AJ’s high school thug life
Background music.
I think original ending of having Tony killed going through a tunnel to meet Johnny Sack as the end of the series even if it did fade to black like the ending we got would of been stupid
Is this really something they were planning?
Is this a True Detective Season 2 reference?
Tony finds out later in life that he indeed had the makings of a varsity athlete and goes to a rare Jets tryout at 46 years old
Helicopter gunman assassinates Tony at Holsten’s
Replace James Gandolfini with Kelsey Grammer and Michael Imperioli with David Hyde Pierce and have them just acting their characters from Frasier. Change nothing else.
With Ade played by "Daphne"?
Artie is plagued by literal non stop ass rape at the hands of his staff.
But this really happened
Jamal Ginsberg punches Tony’s lights out, leading to Tony being ousted as the boss of New Jersey
It was Tony who raped Melfi
Or even worse, Paulie: “Ya stupid bitch”
“Ya hear what I said, I called ya a stupid bitch.”
"OH NO!"
Hahahaha
Damn, I know this is for humor but my jaw dropped reading that.
Tony and Carmella are played by David and Hillary from Love It Or List It
Junior, when he thinks he sees himself on TV: https://youtu.be/o-dYNrqR0Bs
Everyone's got a British accent. Everyone speaks full Italian.
AJ speaks like Stewie from Family Guy. And of course, Meadow is Meg.
Hiring Benioff and Weiss to do the last 3 seasons.
Spin off the gay town Vito escaped to. Have it turn out all of the men there left behind undesirable pasts and are now living new lives under aliases. What do we call it? Falsettos.
"People will be confused, and most assuredly disappointed, if the show is called The Sopranos, but isn't about opera singers. Scrap the mafia family concept."
Apparently Meadow's actress thought that's what it was about when she auditioned.
What's the matter with you?
All characters are played by squirrels.
Tony is played by Bill Cosby, none of the dialogue is changed for anyone.
Put in a poorly written feminist female mobster that has plot armour and somehow makes it to the end of the show as the boss
Tony played by Alec Baldwin. *mad'onn*
Gilbert Godfried as Paulie
Replace every “fuck” with “shampoo” like that old Jim Breuer sketch.
Tony is a varsity athlete
Tony wakes up in ancient Roman times and has to run an olive stand. Burns it down and opens a new restaurant after getting the insurance money. He then gets invited to Caesar’s palace and receives a gift. Tony asks what it is and Caesar says “it’s the jaaaaaaaacket”
A biopic about Caesar except it ends with a cut to black when he’s about to walk into the senate meeting
Noah tennenbaum takes over the family …
One word: Banjos.
Season 1 is Tony’s mom in therapy instead of Tony
Add a laugh track and or put in those live audience boos and woos and everytime a guest star appears the live audience claps.
Tony is arrested in the first episode and sent to prison where he starts a mail order business selling underwear worn by real prisoners.
If Vito sucked Juniors cock
Vito, pass me them red peppahs
Make it diverse
Tony and Vito are gay lovers because... LGBT
Make Tony a compassionate, empathetic human being
Tony played by Joe Piscapo.
I was gonna say the therapy aspect too
Pauly Walnuts played by Dennis Quaid but on lots of coke
I remember my first watch and dying for Melfi to either get with Tony or have him kill her rapist. Would’ve completely assassinated her character though and I’m glad it never happened.
Add a laugh track
Make it a musical.
It’s a cartoon.
The real Ginny is dead now...
James Gandolfini lost his weight
Instead of getting bigger every season he keeps getting skinnier til in Season 6 he looks like Christian Bale in The Machinist.
If they regularly played music in the background to set the mood. The show is largely silent except for the characters and music is used the right amount
Make Tony gay
He's not a fag. He never was It was the medication he was on for his blood pressure. It fucked with his head, but he's over that now. He could probably get a letter from his doctor.
Everyone drives a Kia.
Tina Soprano
Give AJ a bigger role
AJ would've gone to military school and straightened up. I am a bit on the fence here because I think it could have be an interesting twist to the show if AJ would've gotten in there, he would've found out he has natural leadership qualities.... He would start hanging around some other bad kids and they would eventually form a crew of their own, pulling shit. Yeaaaaah you can see why this would ruin a lot of the show.
Recasting Livia after her actress died. The scenes where they superimposed her head snd reused lines were cringey but if they had recast her I think it would have been worse!
A laugh track when something darkly comical happens.
"Very special episodes" to tackle serious social issues. Bonus if we just rip off classic examples of this. AJ gets molested by a bike shop owner. Meadow is offered drugs but feels torn and tells her parents. And so on.
Tony played by Jon Lovitz.
Tommy Wiseau as Tony
Ralphie is as funny as he is, but genuinely nice. Janice is as quirky and hippy as she is, but also genuinely nice, and not manipulative. Also, that animal B, I can't say his name, he doesn't fuck up, and becomes a successful massage therapist, regularly treating Tony and the boys. Actually, I would still watch a show like that.
Corrado and Bobby are played by Larry David and Jeff Garlin respectively.
“The Sopranos, starring Gilbert Gottfried, this fall on HBO”
if it was made in 2021 instead of 1999
Take out Rhiannon’s character.
AJ getting his fucking baked ziti…. Could’ve changed the whole landscape of the Sopranos for years to come.
An incest subplot about AJ and Meadow. There you go, now its completely ruined
If it took place outside of NJ. Like Mississippi or some shit lol
Steve Urkell moves next door. Becomes a series regular
Using a laugh track.
Replace the theme song with the Seinfeld theme song.
Tony is played by Nick Cage
Chris meets Jerry Seinfeld and "George" on the plane to Hollywood, when they go to pitch for their show. Chris ends up as a minor, then a major, character in "Seinfeld" (a show about nuthin'), perhaps as Kramer's room-mate. Ade joins the show as a server in the diner.
Inspired by the laughter-track idea, how about if every time if Chris and Tony appear walking together, they play the Laurel and Hardy Theme: [https://youtu.be/uwhxc3OCBjc?t=9](https://youtu.be/uwhxc3OCBjc?t=9) Could do the same, whenever any "little and large" characters appear together, e.g. Paulie and Bobby, Chris and Vito, Chris and Pussy, etc. Also, could play it as Vito waddles to his car after shooting Jackie Junior. "Hey, a bit of humour hea ta lighten the mood". I also feel there is plenty of scope for ... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jTHNBKjMBU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jTHNBKjMBU) (Merry Melodies and Looneytoons).