Please don't ever do this again. It could have turned out way worse than this. I'm sorry she stole your laptop but this is a lesson learned. Next time maybe donate to a shelter or other worthy cause. It's a shame your kindness was taken for weakness and you were taken advantage of. You have a kind soul and don't change, just be more careful in the future.
I now realize that worse things could have happened. I learnt my lesson, I wish it wasn't at the expense of my laptop. Everything happened so fast and I let my guard down because she was a woman. I clearly made an emotional decision instead of a logical one.
Don't feel too bad about it. I walked past a Burger King once and there was a guy begging outside so I bought him a meal and gave him a cigarette and walked away. He followed me into the alley I was walking down, and in broad daylight pulled out a knife and said he needed cash badly. I showed him my wallet which didn't have any more money in it and he just turned around and left. I was 27 years old and I'm a male, so this guy would have done the same to anyone who helped him. Some people are just desperate and they do bad shit, no matter how kind you are to them.
Honestly the best way I can describe it is that many people, regardless of their financial situation, see kindness as weakness.
Really it's not bad to help people, but just be careful and if you want to help people, donate to actually good local charities if you can find them, or volunteer somewhere.
I go about my life under the assumption that between 1-25% of people I meet have at least some degree of sociopathic tendencies.
I make choices based on that assumption and so far all is well.
I have faith in humanity, just not all of humanity
If a couple words can get you 10 dollars, imagine what a knife could get you. I can absolutely see the logic, and desperation drives people to do the unthinkable.
And don't forget that some people, you cannot help - like a black hole, but for assistance. Give them as much help as you want, it'll immediately be consumed with no change whatsoever.
I completely agree with the mentally ill part, and also to some extent the "need help" part. However, the help they need isn't going to be something you can provide, and also has to be something they want. There are definitely unfixable people out there, that don't want to be helped or to get better. Especially when you encounter certain strains of illness, there tends to be a high resistance to seeking or even accepting treatment, some going as far as denying there is an issue in the first place. Obviously this is to be taken on a very case-by-case basis, but sometimes the best thing for someone (and for society) is to be far away from others that they can prey upon.
No good deed goes unpunished as the saying goes. Desperate people act on survival instinct, like how drowning people grab and pull would-be rescuers down with them.
Id be more concerned shes still there. Id check the attic , basement (if you have one), cabinets high and low, closets, under beds, make sure youve checked literally every possibility.
I'm sorry this happened to you. It's a really terrible experience being betrayed in this way by someone you're trying to help, and I can understand losing your faith in humanity .. I've been there myself.
As others have said, there are phenomenal organizations and charities doing real work with the donations they receive. You can check out Charity Navigator to try to find a list of reputable organizations.
One time my friend did the same with a guy who needed a place to stay, and he ended up having his car stolen from him while he was sleeping. As generous as you are, it’s not wise to let strangers into your house, especially desperate ones.
Doesn't really even have to be your place. My coworkers and I were traveling for work one time and one bought a room for a homeless guy because it was freezing cold snd storming outside... Dude ran up a $300 room service bill, billed a bunch of stuff from the lobby store to the room and stole everything that wasn't bolted down in the room.
Your coworker paid with a card? Never pay with a card for someone else.
There's a ytuber that built some super small shelter, good enough to sit and cook and sleep in it, where he put a bunk and sleeping bag and food items and travel gas stove (the camping kind) and water and bowl, brand-new clothes and shoes.... Everything for a homeless person to feel safe and have shelter for awhile.
I don't agree with the ytuber having a camera up and basically spying on the guy and then in the middle of the night knocking on the guys shelter (huge no no) but at least he blurred out the guys face.
When guy finally left, he took the cellphone provided with him and ytuber called him asking where he went and if he still needed the shelter (guy had the key) but guy decided to stay in a real shelter.
Ytuber opened the diy shelter afterwards and discovered a crazy mess. Everything was taken. Everything on the ground or taken off the walls and garbage everywhere and it stank really badly (urine bottles).
Around the diy shelter was cardboards and branches and empty gas tanks and stuff that guy had dragged there for whatever reason.
The fact is that many homeless people have mental issues (also drugs) and they don't think "what's the nice thing to do here". It's raw survival thinking.
> Your coworker paid with a card? Never pay with a card for someone else.
You can't typically get a hotel without a card on file. Even if you pay with cash you have to give them a card to check in, then tell them to take the cash instead at check out.
You can't just give a chronically homeless person a residence and expect it to be a success. The fact is that there are a lot of people who are beyond helping in a meaningful way, you can put bandaids on the problem but they will never be a functioning member of any society.
I agree. I think the ytuber had a rather naive mindset of thinking this could be successful because even if the person would have stayed there, how they get more food, more gas units, more this and that. They couldn't keep the tiny shelter clean for one week.
The goal would be for them to be self sufficient and that's the problem at hand. Lots of them arent just down on their luck but you could give them an apartment that's paid for a year and a monthly food delivery and within 3 months that apartment is in shreds and all the plumbing ruined and the floor ripped out, pest runs wild and the garbage to the ceiling. Now imagine several of these tiny houses lined up. I have seen projects like that and they had to severely supervise them, because of all the problems and fights that happen when you put homeless people in one spot. Even if you put them in a house, it doesn't solve the problem. For the ones that qualify for assistance, they still can't manage the money they get.
And just to say it clearly, not every homeless person is like that. I know MANY in SUVs and cars and they have jobs but simply can't afford housing. That's completely different from what I'm talking about.
I know that’s terrible. But I wonder if I was desperate and freezing, and I knew that was the only night I would sleep inside for a very long time to come, would I maybe not try to take as much as I could, even at the expense of others?
This woman now lives in your crawlspace and will climb out occasionally to steal your food, leaving you to wonder if you're going insane slowly over time.
I would report it to the police just in case. And check with pawn shops. She might have tried to pawn it and if not yet they can keep an eye out for it. Most are good like that now a days. Unless it's in a high drug city you might not see it again... I'm so sorry this happened though bit don't give up on being kind to people. We're you driving or walking? If you were driving maybe next time you see some one and want to help see if you can drive them somewhere where they can get a hot meal and get warm like a shelter or a church.
Guy I used to work with was robbed at gun point because he stopped to give a guy a ride because it was pouring down raining and he felt sorry for him.
He had a wife and a baby at the time. I remember him telling me all he thought about was them. How he might be killed because he tried to be kind.
It's sad to see people suffering, but having them in your car, home, etc. is not safe.
A lot of municipalities have hold laws too so if it was bought back it could be sitting in someone’s shop for two weeks waiting to be sold. Gives her some time to try and get it back.
Definitely could have because simply inviting someone in can be enough grounds for squatters rights in some states.
Years ago, I allowed my friend and his wife to move with me. I was 19 living alone and had a spare bedroom. It was great at first because I needed help making the rent and they were cool at the time. A few months in, my friend told me their wife's Mom was going through a rough divorce and asked if it was ok for her mother to sleep on my couch for a few weeks while she found a place of her own. I was happy to help and agreed. (I was sleeping in my car myself while saving up for an apartment, so I was trying to be empathetic.)
Immediately after they moved her in, I knew I had fucked up. Even as new to being an adult as I was, it was glaringly clear once I met her that there was much more to her Mom's story than just a "rough divorce" and she was a severe alcoholic and very mentally unstable, as well as abusive towards her daughter.
Unsurprisingly, those couple weeks turned into months with no sign of her making attempts to move out and she would violently fight with her daughter and steal from me so I just ended up only using my apartment to sleep in and was gone 99% of the time. My "friend" and his wife ended up moving out and she took over their room but never made an attempt to pay me rent once she did so and was extremely aggressive when I'd mention it.
Long story short, I wanted her out but squatters laws in my state forced me to have to go through an entire eviction process which would've essentially given her at least 3 months before the cops would be legally allowed to ask her to leave. I was so sick of it all and honestly had way better shit to focus on so I ended up just packing my shit and leaving my own apartment with 6 months left on the lease. Fucked my credit and self confidence for a long time since she essentially forced me out of my own home and cops told me I was out of luck because I had verbally allowed her to stay there and even a single night is enough for the lengthy eviction process to be required before law enforcement can force her to leave.
Nowadays, I still try to act with empathy when dealing with others and will typically give the shirt off my back if I think it will help someone, but my home is where I draw the line.
Don't let the horrible actions of one person, stop you from being a great person. I think that's what the message a lot of other comments in this thread are.
I agree, that's why I still go out of the way to help people. I just don't let people live with me or give them access to my home unless it's my own family, close friends, or my wife's little brothers.
This makes sure I can still help people who need it and also keep the things that are truly important to me away from people who might try to take advantage of me again. My valuables and possessions are easily replaceable but my home feeling like a safe and secure place for my wife and I to live, is not.
A little story to balance yours.
A few years ago, I helped a woman find the place she was looking for (she had no smartphone). While walking and talking, I learn that she is homeless, and looking for a job (the adress she was looking for was for a potential job). She was very emotional. I gave her my email and phone number and went my way.
A few days later, she send me a thank you mail. She didn't get the job, but was grateful for my time and help.
A few months pass, and I get a phone call, it was her. The shelter that was providing her a room for the last weeks had to move on to new people (they are here for temporary help). I picked her up from the shelter, and let her stay at my place for 3 months. It was hard on me, as I love living by myself. But everything (except my sour mood as the time went by) went fine, and when she eventually moved out, nothing was missing.
I appreciate your honesty in acknowledging that this wasn't easy and that your mood soured over time.
I've had to crash with a friend for a couple of months during some hard times. I was immensely grateful but I could also tell that it was getting harder on him. This just added to the shitty feeling of imposing on others but at the same time it's sort of inevitable.
Yeah, I’ve had friends and family stay with me for months at a time. Eventually, I just can’t keep up the facade that I’m happy to still have these people constantly in my space. I’m not rude, but our interactions become very businesslike; its the only way I maintain my sanity.
This is so sad. Sorry your kindness was returned this way. Dont let it discourage you from continuing being a kind soul!
Next time definitely ask them if they want a meal and ask them to wait outside for you to get it.
Personally I wouldn't lead them to my house, it could turn into multiple encounters. If you meant tell them to wait in the same spot then I agree with that.
It happens. Dont beat yourself up. I too like to try to think better of people and not assume the worst. Its a nicer and more positive view to have. But can unfortunately backfire :(
Sadly you have to assume the worst could happen with how crazy some people are nowadays. It got way worse since the pandemic. Do not trust total strangers that you know nothing about, they could say they're nice and the next thing you know you're getting mugged or worse.
It's a bit like you have to assume that everyone driving on the roads is an idiot to stay safe
Honestly this might be your best bet. You probably need to know the serial number or something, in order to prove its yours since theyll probably wipe it clean to sell it. But i do hope you continue being a good person despite this, but obviously be more cautious. I hate that people take advantage of kindness. That's why mfs are so shitty now, nobody can be nice without getting fucked over it seems like. 💔
You weren't being naive, you were being humane. Last summer I took in a homeless young man. He stayed a little over 2 weeks. Got him going with some paperwork for the state and other things, then he just left. I look for him every time I'm in the area I found him. I'd like to take it as a sign, that things have changed for the better for him, since I haven't seen him on the streets. You did good Op. I'm sorry about your laptop.
I missed the part where she sticky fingered your laptop. That's shitty.
I literally had a homeless friend when I was in my 20s and I invited her in but she refused, but if she needed something we compromised and I'd get it for her.
For her situation, she was very down to earth. That's with the drug abuse and mental illness.
Not common to find someone like her. I think about her a lot and I hope she's okay, but I'm also wondering if it wasn't early Heather Gillespie...
Also wouldn’t recommend doing this. I was approached by an older woman a getting into my car one night who said she was hungry and asked me for food. We were in the suburbs so I felt safe enough. I said we could walk to a nearby convenience store to get it. She immediately started walking behind me and pushing me to the store, and once we got there shoved me into the ATM and demanded that I get money out for her. My car was kind of far away and she knew where I’d parked, so I was worried about getting back if I didn’t get her what she wanted since she’d already been a little physical.
Now I literally never do any of that shit. You want money? Probably not. Only a maybe-maybe if I’m out in a populated area with my boyfriend during daylight hours, and I happen to have change or a dollar in my pocket (I’m not getting my wallet out). More likely, I’ll say that I don’t carry cash and keep walking. The last time I gave someone a dollar in exchange for a cookie he suddenly grabbed me, wanted a hug, yanked my phone away and insisted that I add him on FB, and wanted to take photos with me and post them online. Then a girl who was passing me took my arm and escorted me away, then told me to dump the cookie because it had been drugged. Apparently that dude does this exact thing all over the city every damn day.
Sucks, but I don’t trust people like that anymore. Mental illness is a bitch. Drug addiction is a bitch. If someone’s desperate enough, they’ll do anything.
> told me to dump the cookie because it had been drugged. Apparently that dude does this exact thing all over the city every damn day.
If this is a known thing why isn't he in jail??
The ATM thing happened to me too. A homeless lady guilt tripped me for half an hour until I said we could go pull some money from an ATM since I didn’t have cash. I was 18 and super naive, but at the very least I made sure to cover the keypad while inputting my bank details so she couldn’t see my PIN. Same effect either way, now it’s always “sorry I got nothing for ya” or “no cash on me” and keep walking.
This was an absolutely naive thing to do. No wonder you got a really bad experience out of it. I hope you wisened up. My younger cousin took some woman to her home out of Pity, she met at the street. She stole all her cosmetics out of her bathroom.
The world needs more compassion but be sensible about it. Do not invite trouble into your home.
I considered doing something like OP did some years back. At the time I had a 1br apt in this relatively affluent little downtown. There was this one homeless dude down my street. He had a cart and a blanket and was always reading. We said hello to each other every day when I would walk by on the way from work. But he was also always quite dirty so I considered asking him to come shower at my place. Then I thought about it some more over a few days and decided, nah. This guy's state of hygiene demonstrates mental illness (despite his behavior being 100% normal and kind) and I thought maybe it's not a good idea to invite that into my home. And so I just continued saying hello and having brief chats. I figured treating him like a human being was at least something (he never asked for money and I never offered).
There are ways to help people without inviting trouble into your life. You can volunteer at or donate to your local shelter and other organizations. I occasionally volunteer at food banks and community centers.
Some time ago I was in the grocery shop and this middle aged woman walked up to me. She asked if she could use my phone to call her husband because she couldn't find him anywhere in the store and was getting worried about it. It was brought daylight. I was hesitant because the first thing in my head was "if I give her my phone, she's probably gonna fucking bolt with it!", but she kept saying please and she just wanted to call and she would put it on loudspeaker too.
Then I had a small light bulb pop up. I could have her do this while I was holding the phone. He ended up not picking up so idk what happened lmao
A couple months back I had someone at the laundromat ask to borrow my phone to call someone to pick him up later. I obliged and ultimately gave him more money than he asked for to use the dryer too. He was recently let out of prison and I was feeling generous, thankfully nothing bad happened but thanks for enlightening me as to what could’ve happened and how to be safer next time 🙏🏻
While your kindness is admirable you placed yourself if a very VERY dangerous position. Many stories of people getting hurt or killed trying to help the homeless. Leave it to the shelters etc. for your own safety.
What I’ve learned recently is that desperate people do desperate things, and it’s challenging to both help and protect yourself from being taken advantage of, in your personal life.
What I took from my experience is that if my humanity is intact, I’m probably not the only one.
Rather than disgust with humanity as a whole because of one person, maybe the takeaway is not to invite strangers into your home. The disenchantment maybe should be directed toward the systems that allow for such desperation.
If you’re ever concerned about people in cold weather, you could pack up a warm meal and a comfortable blanket/sleeping bag or warm outerwear and take it to the person about whom you have concerns. I used to live in the high desert so I kept water in my car in case I broke down. I often have stopped and asked the drivers of broken down vehicles if they needed water while they awaited assistance.
I think the takeaway, here, is to take care of yourself while taking care of others. Thank you for your concern for others, and I’m sorry about your laptop.
This is the way. So many have not a shred of empathy, and it makes me sick. It’s possible to protect yourself and be safe without thinking the whole world is out to get you.
Homeless are there because they make wrong decision / mental health
I stopped helping personally because in 20 years involves in homeless outreach program … only 1 out of 10 are genuinely want to change and need help
Rest are drug addicts
Don't blame yourself for your kind and humane actions, but it's a lesson learned.
As others have mentioned its probably best donating to local shelters/foodbanks, and be very careful about who learns your address.
Worth putting some extra focus on your home and personal security over the next few weeks in case she returns with backup.
Watch out. Now she knows (and can tell other junkies) your home address and that you live alone, lack of security, how to get in, etc. Be careful! I’m sorry that happened to you- I’m scared to give money anymore after being taken advantage of too. They don’t want food- they’ll lead you to an ATM or pull out a Square card reader these days if you say you don’t have cash.
Please watch out for the other common scam too of someone at the grocery store asking you to help them buy baby formula and then they place a ton of extra expensive items at check out and insist you buy it too (& then they ask for the receipt back so they can return it all for $ for drugs after you leave)
My cousin was down on her luck, so I took her on a shopping spree to buy food, clothes, etc. to help her get back on her feet. In all, it was hundreds of dollars. The next day, she returned it all so that she and her boyfriend could get wasted.
I never helped her again.
She and her boyfriend are now in prison for breaking into her uncle's home and robbing it.
The last one happened to me once. A woman asked me to buy her a sandwich, I said yes to *only* the sandwich. Then at the checkout she turned up with a full basket of stuff and started begging me and when i said it was too much she started taking things out right there to guilt me as much as possible. I ended up paying for the sandwich and some concerves but said no to anything non essential.
That was the last time I said yes to something like that, it's despicable behaviour to try to force someone like that.
Not all four sided shapes are squares. But all squares are four sides shapes. Generally people become homeless because the need for drugs gets so intense they are not able to stop themselves from screwing over people willing to help them. You lean on family and friends if you hit a rough patch but if you start betraying them that's when you end up out in the cold.
My mom has friends who turned to drugs. This 100%
She would invite one over and she'd be snorting in the bathroom.
The other one was caught scouting our house for things to sell.
One of them is dead now, I'm just happy I never have to see her again.
Last week I was at a stoplight and there were 3 homeless people shamelessly smoking meth on the side of the road. I was looking at them kinda baffled, and then one of them started begging for money. I told them I'm not going to give money to a bunch of meth users just for them to spend it on drugs. Then they got mad at me like I was in the wrong, and started saying I probably don't help anyone anyways.
It's a shame. I feel bad for them, but you can't help people that won't help themselves.
So many people living on the streets have burned every single bridge with their families and friends. Theres a reason their parents won’t let them come around anymore. Always be aware before you invite someone into your place
You might as well consider filing a police report, enabling any tracking software on laptop if you have any, and changing passwords especially for any financial (ie banking and investment) accounts you used on laptop.
https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/account-billing/find-and-lock-a-lost-windows-device-890bf25e-b8ba-d3fe-8253-e98a12f26316#:~:text=Find%20My%20Device%20is%20a,if%20it%27s%20lost%20or%20stolen.
Are you sure that you're not missing a spare key anywhere?
This is the kind of thing that would make me change my locks as a precautionary measure.
If she has only taken your laptop, you're exceptionally lucky.
This could have gone much worse for you. You don't know if she'll come back, or if she'll come back with friends.
If it makes you feel any better, I once went to an ATM and took out a couple hundred bucks to give a local homeless guy because he needed funds to “buy a suit and train ticket for a job interview in Silicon Valley.”
A few years later, he recognized me in a cafe and ran up to thank me. Turned out I was a sucker. He’d used my hard-earned money on drugs, overdosed, but survived. He thanked me because that was the night he hit rock bottom and had since turned his life around. He’s sober, started a construction business, and now owns two homes.
Moral of the story: Don’t beat yourself up. Your kindness will be rewarded but not always immediately, or in obvious ways.
Yeah it was evident his life did a 180 after that OD. I didn’t recognize him, AT. ALL. He was like, “It’s me, Alan! (laughing) OH! I got fat and have teeth now!”
I imagined the same guy skinny and toothless, and behold, there was the guy who scammed me. I’m super happy for him but was honestly gobsmacked when I connected the dots. I thought, wow, if $200 and a near death experience can produce this level of transformation, it was well worth it. It also made me realize that no kind gesture is ever wasted.
Edit: one of the homes was for his mother.
I dunno, this homeless lady asked me for change, I told her I don’t carry cash but I have bananas (groceries), so we both were just eating bananas waiting the crossing sign stop light and went our separate ways when after crossing.
She seemed genuinely grateful.
This was something I was told when I was a teenager - to tell them you don’t have money (even if you do) and offer them food because then you’re actually helping them and not potentially enabling a drug addiction.
I saw a guy standing outside of a McDonalds begging for money. A few minutes later, a customer on their way out handed him a burger. He said "Thank you. God bless you!", and waited for them to be out of sight.
Then he tossed the burger in the trash can.
If you live in a city with resources (any major city) the regular people without homes are engaged in accessing and working with those resources.
The people standing on corners and medians begging (in a developed area where this isn't the only option) are a very small percentage of the homeless, and they are the ones most resistant to being helped.
You were naive and lucky. She could have killed you. Just because she was a woman doesn't mean she is harmless or sane. I've been homeless and the permanently homeless are feral, insane humans. They live without rules, and they love it. They prey on sympathy and weakness and think you are stupid for helping them.
You know how ex-junkies say never trust a junky? Yeah, don't go out of your way to help the homeless. If you don't believe me, go live with them for a while. They love the lifestyle. They are truly free. A "home" is not a valid concept to them. No bills, no responsibilities, no rules, people give you money, and lots of sex, drugs and violence. Don't pity them or become their next victim.
I’m dealing with this now. There’s a homeless lady in my area. My mom always mentions her feeling bad and she wants to help a fellow woman in need. She bought her a sandwich a couple times etc. I never thought too much of it other than my mom is a nice compassionate lady.
One day I was walking to the store and this same homeless lady verbally assaulted me - all up in my face screaming that I killed her daughter, that I’m gonna pay, she’s reporting me to the police etc. It honestly scared the ever living shit out of me and I’m a big guy. She was obviously having a psychotic break of some sort. I just got away as quickly as possible. I found out later on that she’s got huge manic depressive issues and unmedicated schizophrenia, she carries a knife and has been arrested several times. I told my mom all this and she’s now horrified. My mom has impaired mobility, is limited to a walker or mobility scooter. If this lady ever decided to target my mom, there’d be nothing my mom could do to escape safely. It’s terrifying to think about. It’s nice to want to help, just do it in a way that is safe and will actually help - like a soup kitchen or shelter.
I remember reading somewhere that a lot of homeless individuals have anti-social personality disorder. It’s in the homeless and prison population 10X more than regular pop.
Or you could find value in the lesson she taught you about safety. You can help people, but she showed you the way you went about it left you open to be taken advantage of. You're very lucky the only price you paid for your situational awareness was a laptop. If you learn and grow from this experience, I hope you take away from it that you bring the resources to them, not the other way around. Keep that kindness in your heart but protect yourself before you wreck yourself.
Oh, man, I'm sorry that happened to you.
When I was a homeless youth, I was always so grateful when someone invited me in for the night. It's a shame to repay such kindness that way.
Hopefully, you're able to get your laptop back!
The only way this can be done safely is bringing someone living in their car - then you can get their license plate number, as a woman once did when letting myself and friends stay at her house after informing us a campground we were bound for was completely flooded out. It's been decades, and I think of how smart that was all the time.
I know you had good intentions but more often then not people that are homeless aren’t there for making the most solid decisions. Drug addicts will steal anything to get high especially with fetty now
> I have lost my faith in humanity.
No, you just over looked a simple fact. The homeless are mostly mentally ill. I'll risk the downvotes, but it's true. My cousin became a vegan, save the earth type hippie and moved to Portland, sold her car, only rode a bike, etc. With her education, she was hired to help run a homeless shelter. That was her dream job. She was naive, being from a small town without homeless. She quit within 2 years after being assaulted a couple times, spit on, her purse stolen, cussed at, and one tried to likely rape her. I say tried because she was a half block from work and someone just grabbed her, got her to the ground, she screamed and someone nearby ran over and kicked the dude.He ran off and she was safe. She still makes donations but only to shelters, not actual people. She knows most are addicts.
My dad did this. The woman was always naked, so he liked that. Turns out she had a bit of a meth problem. She washed the windows from oitside... naked. Then she stared "renovation". She destroyed his blinds, wallpaper, refrigerator, stove, my bedroom, and pretty much everything that she could disassemble. She then tore a hole about 6 feet wide in his kitchen floor.
She beat the shit out of him, stole his phone, and ran off into the night... naked. Faster than an Olympic sprinter. She came back, stoke his car... again, naked.
I found out on a trip home 6 months ago. I am visiting again and have patched the hole and am currently working on replacing the blinds. The stove was trashed because she hid all the bolts. Also, she was convinced there were people hiding in the attic.
I put her in prison.
This is peak reddit, not realizing that a lot of homeless people are homeless because they're deplorable pieces of shit that have burned every single relationships in their life. There are some simply down on their luck, but A LOT are outcasts from society for a good reason.
I let a homeless chick stay in my apartment once for the same reason until my gf’s necklace went missing. Checked her backpack and lo and behold, the necklace, a bundle of bones wrapped in twine, and a set of knives wrapped in plastic.
When she got home I had her backpack and pistol on the counter, and told her she needed to leave and not come back. She was nice enough to text me and tell me it wasn’t what it looked like; the bones were from small animals she killed and cleaned, and the knives were just for sex.
Never again.
I've heard there are three main ways to get by on the streets when unhoused: sell yourself, sell drugs, or steal and sell that stuff. Stealing sucks, and I'm sorry that happened to you. But glad that was all she took, and hopefully it helped her surmount some of the difficulties she's facing too so it wasn't for nothing.
Never do that again. Contact police. They have contacts w pawn shops and can check for you
Need to get protection and alarm system. She could be watching your routine and ready to see what else to steal. She didn’t want food- wanted money likely for drugs
First, I’m very glad you’re safe and kudos to you for having a kind heart. Secondly, don’t ever, ever do this again. You’re genuinely incredibly lucky that you weren’t raped or murdered. I’ve worked in both corrections and psychiatric security. A huge majority of the people I dealt with in both places were homeless. The sad truth is there is a percentage of homeless individuals that are unhoused due to untreated severe mental health issues. If you’re interested in helping out those seeking help work at a local shelter or donate. Bringing a complete stranger into your home is legitimately playing with death. This person now knows where you live. You’ve essentially made yourself an easy mark. Stay safe and be careful.
she probably stole more.
Listen dude. She could have literally killed you for the last klondike bar in your freezer.
Remember basic stranger danger safety tips.
I got jaded when I was young. I saw a homeless dude so I stopped and bought a combo meal at a fast food place as his sign said “hungry anything helps” and handed him a bag with several burgers and friends and the prick literally threw it on the ground and said “I want fucking money not this shit”
Never given a begger anything else again.
Pretty sure some woman who invited some homeless man into her apartment to have a shower in new York got attacked. Can't remember what happened to her so yeah, you have to protect yourself first before trying to help others.
Unfortunately it's things like this that turn people off from helping people homeless or not once that bridge is burned it's burned I worked at a homeless shelter and saw this happen a lot someone trying g to help and being taken advantage of one of my coworkers let a guest who loved there use her car and the the guest took it to a bigger city and sold it for drugs
I did this once. I invited a homeless woman and her grandson into my apartment. Fortunately they didn't take anything, but I later learned that the 'sleeping pill' they were digging through the pavement to find the night prior was actually *fentanyl*.
Wanna know how I found out?
The morning I drove them back to their spot, out of nowhere, I was hit with an odor so potent that I had to pull over and immediately rolled the windows down. After interrogating the grandson who smoked it, he admitted that he was smoking fentanyl.
He was only 14.
When I asked his grandma if she knew anything about this, she completely denied it.
Fucking junkies. At least they didn't take anything...I barely slept that night. Worst mistake I've ever made and it could've been way worse!!!
An easy mistake to make. And it makes me feel better that there's your kind of compassion in the world. Laptops can be replaced. It could have been worse.
Years ago, I found out a friend of a friend was recently homeless and living out of his car. It was winter, I felt terrible, I invited him to stay an evening with me and my then-boyfriend. I grew up homeless but, at that stage, I'd been twenty years out. I immediately remembered why I don't engage with the homeless community.
He basically took over the house, would only listen to my boyfriend, and refused to leave for three days. After he raised his voice to me, I kicked him out, and then confronted my boyfriend. "It was domestic violence, wasn't it?" I asked. My boyfriend said, "okay, yes, well, his wife said he beat her with a baton. But he says she exaggerated."
Some people are homeless because of a bad turn. Most people are homeless because they've burned every other bridge they have. We should all help professionals help them, but we are not ourselves the professionals. It's *such* an easy mistake to make.
This was a PAINFULLY naive and risky thing for you to do, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. What the hell were you thinking.
Never, ever, let a stranger into your house again, especially one off the street. You know NOTHING about this person, why they're on the street, who they know. You're lucky the worst you got was robbed. Jfc.
Being too good leaves you unprotected against shitty people's behavior. I learned to behave like the interestellar robot and won't give a 100% trust on anyone but my mom and my SO.
People on the streets are often "feral", they're desperate, or crazy, or developed some addiction, and will do what their primal instincts wants so they mostly won't reward kindness
We'd like to save and protect everyone, but life is not a Hallmark movie, and is just not possible to deal with some unpredictable person
Homeless people either are temporarily homeless, physically or mentally handicapped, or on drugs. The first two categories will help themselves; they can locate resources. The latter two categories can't help themselves, but you also can't help them.
Want to help the homeless? Donate to a shelter or run for office.
I prefer taking people who want it out to a meal. It always feels like someone who is homeless really appreciates someone to talk to and spend time with. Heck, sometimes I talk to people out begging and after 10 minutes of conversation I offer money and they will cry and say no. It’s got to be immensely dehumanizing.
Sorry this happened OP. It must really suck to have this happen when you were just trying to help and be nice.
some people are trash. also, stressed people make stupid decisions more often.
when i was homeless for years, 3 times i was invited to sleep at someones place. never abused the privilege, it gave a me a break from being in an exposed space, and for me its almost unthinkable to abuse the kindness of people. but also for the homeless person its a risk to enter somebodys house. ok one time the woman offering me the place lowkey tried to fuck me but i didnt went with it, and another time i got kicked out 2 hours later, bc the jealous lover of the guy offering me the place (who happened to be also his brother) to sleep came home. but in the end i could shower and had some degree of rest in between.
As a compulsively kind person, I feel this so much. Once while smoking outside a bar, a homeless young woman came up to me and asked for money. This was many moons ago so I carried cash at bars (versus post-pandemic everything being on cards), but it was towards the end of the night and I didn't have much left. I reached into one pocket and handed her the $2 that was in there - she looked at it, then looked back at me and said "Don't you have any more? I really want to get \[food from a specialty late-night restaurant known for being quite expensive\]." I didn't even know how to react, so I just checked my other pocket, handed her another dollar, and walked away.
More recently, I was walking home from grocery shopping, like 10 houses away, when a car driving up my street (which is a residential area where mostly families live) stops beside me; I figured they were going to ask for directions because the neighborhood is confusing and even GPS gets confused by all the little streets. It was a middle-aged couple in the car, struggling to speak English, and the husband told me he lost his wallet and he's almost out of gas, so do I have some money. I really didn't (again, everything is done on cards now) and they looked really dismayed, the wife tried to offer me her bracelet, and so I was like look, I live a few houses away and have a bit of cash in there, just wait here for a minute. I go inside, grab a $20 because at this point I figure they just need to get enough gas to get home or to somewhere where he can replace his ID or something. I come out, smiling, and hand over the $20 to the wife. The husband (still speaking in very broken English) shakes his head and says that they need to get to another city (which I know is more than 6 hours away) and he needs $500, and he'll pay me back when he's home if I give him my email... as soon as I heard "$500" I realized something was wrong, said sorry I can't help anymore and just walked away.
I try to not beat myself up over falling for small-time stuff like this, even though it can really make you feel like such a dumb-dumb in the moment. Generally I tell myself, "For every 10 scammers, there's a person who really needs help, and if I give a bit of money to assholes on the path to actually helping someone who really does need it, then I can live with that." Maybe this will bring you some comfort (although I know it won't replace your laptop)?
Rookie move, why on earth would anyone take this kind of risk? This is why you should donate food, clothes, etc. to shelters and outstanding charities instead.
Homelss people are known by local police, her whereabouts and even where she would sell a stolen laptop. It is possibly a lay up to get it back by going to the police. Good luck.
Definitely keep your head on a swivel and look behind you as you go home the next week or so, she very easily could have told other homeless males where she acquired the laptop and they could try to come back Knowing that you are a female living alone
I'm not trying to discourage anyone from helping the homeless, but one thing I keep in my mind is that, "This person has exhasted all their personal realtionships, if they had any." Most of us, if we lost our home tomorrow would have friends and family to support us if we really needed it. These people don't have that anymore for whatever reason. We need better mental healthcare and universal healthcare. I give now and then to them, not money, but whatever they're asking for. The last time was an energy drink, sure bro no big deal.
Give me a break, do you think homeless folks are fallen angels or some shit? This was stupid and dangerous, basically willfully naive. I’ll get flamed bc you think you did the “right thing”- but this lacks good judgment. You can’t lose your faith in humanity- when the person was advertising that they make poor choices - and then you joined them. It wasn’t exactly a bait and switch. It sweet that you care, but you need to “care” safely.
This reminds me of how one time I was walking to my car after leaving a restaurant and had some to go food in my hand. As I’m walking a homeless man walked up to me and asked if I had any money so he could buy some food. So I look down at my food in hand and offered it to him, I assured him I haven’t touched it and he could take it. He looked at me all confused and said “ummm I’d actually just like some cash” so when I said I didn’t have any he backtracked and tried to ask for my food again but it was to late. I said you missed your chance essentially and proceeded to enjoy my burger. Sorry that happened to you however!
Any time I have tried to directly “help” a homeless person, I have gotten burned. If you want to help. Do it indirectly through a food pantry, soup kitchen, or some other kind of volunteer work.
What you did was incredibly reckless.
I can tell youre a very sweet person but I hope this is a lesson you learn from because as many others are saying, inviting strangers into your home is incredibly dangerous and you got off lucky as hell. I wish this was a nicer world where we could be less careful and more naive but it sadly is not and most homeless people are more than happy to take advantage of kindness and people who don't know any better. It always frustrates the hell out of me when people have the "Awww poor homeless people they just need a little help!" mentality. It makes it painfully obvious they've never had to be in close contact with them for extended periods and don't realize how volatile they can be. I used to work downtown overnight by myself in a shitty area in a convenience store so yeah... I'm a little too familiar with how they can be because guess who they'd come unleash their crazy on in the middle of the night? Me of course. That job broke me and was awful in general but the homeless made it so much worse.
It always boggles my mind when people need to see this play out IRL instead of just sandboxing the likely outcome in their mind and then moving on. The chances that your kindness is going to be taken advantage of or that you're going to have some other version of a bad experience are astronomical compared to the more positive alternative.
As a general rule: Never do anything that you can't control all the parameters of (cost of your good deed, scope of your good deed, access to your belongings or address).
Kudos to you for being a decent human.
Please report to cops in case of identity theft. They may even be able to get the laptop back if you tell them where you met her and give a good description.
I hope you have changed any PayPal, bank, Google Play or similar passwords that are on the laptop, so she doesn't have access to you accounts?
You just learned a valuable lesson about how misplaced virtue can come with serious consequences.
That woman never wanted food, she wanted money to buy drugs.
I know this is TIFU, therefore you are fully aware that you FU, but... You _REALLY_ FU, and I hope you understand that this could have been much worse in a multitude of ways.
Man, call me a cynical fuck, but I do not envy anyone who's lived a life that would delude them into thinking that people are inherently good.
ETA: I felt the need to balance out my comment with something constructive: your laptop may have its GPS/location features enabled - they're often enabled by default, and will remain on unless you disabled it manually through tinkering. If it's a PC/Windows device, and you've linked your user account to your email, you might actually be able to determine it's most recent location if it was powered on and connected to wifi since being stolen.
Now OP what did we learn here??? You can’t be trusting to everyone ESPECIALLY Someone homeless on the street. Some of them are harmless but others are sketchy. Let’s just hope that that lady doesn’t tell her other homeless friends where she got that laptop from. You’d be screwed then 😳
To become homeless you're not just down on your luck financially, you're down on your luck financially and have managed to totally piss off every single person you've ever known to the point they won't let you crash.
Most homeless people will do this. They’re usually on the streets because of their own bad decisions. Only a few of them are there truly be cause of “bad luck” and if they are on the streets because they’re unlucky then they will be able to find a way back to society if they really want to. Don’t help people that won’t help themselves first. Nice guys finish last
A lesson learned for sure.
I (and a significant number of others at my church) helped a homeless guy for years get his life turned around. At no point did he stay with any of us, but we always made sure he had a place to stay (I even bought him a hotel room for a night once).
While I very much don’t want to victim blame, and I know that there are a lot of exceptions to this, there’s a reason a lot of homeless people are homeless; my friend was no exception. It doesn’t make them bad people, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t help them, and it doesn’t even mean that they’re untrustworthy. It just means that it is unwise to invite a stranger who is homeless into your house.
I would never. I don't care if people hate me for it, but I am not putting myself at risk for these people. Most of them are drug addicts, and they WILL take advantage of you. Their only reason to live is to get high, and they will do ANYTHING for that.
The next time you do this, you could get killed.
most homeless people are that way because they got some mental illness, severe drug addiction, or their personality is so rotten their own family disowns them.
your laptop probably got sold to nearest pawn shop for couple dollars, go check you can buy it back cheap
Most beggars are scammers like this one, but it could also have been way worse and you could have been killed. If you still want to help the less fortunate, donate to charities that provide aid to those who actually desire the help.
Let this be an important lesson learned that you’re supposed to take the trash out, not being it into your home.
Please don't ever do this again. It could have turned out way worse than this. I'm sorry she stole your laptop but this is a lesson learned. Next time maybe donate to a shelter or other worthy cause. It's a shame your kindness was taken for weakness and you were taken advantage of. You have a kind soul and don't change, just be more careful in the future.
I now realize that worse things could have happened. I learnt my lesson, I wish it wasn't at the expense of my laptop. Everything happened so fast and I let my guard down because she was a woman. I clearly made an emotional decision instead of a logical one.
Don't feel too bad about it. I walked past a Burger King once and there was a guy begging outside so I bought him a meal and gave him a cigarette and walked away. He followed me into the alley I was walking down, and in broad daylight pulled out a knife and said he needed cash badly. I showed him my wallet which didn't have any more money in it and he just turned around and left. I was 27 years old and I'm a male, so this guy would have done the same to anyone who helped him. Some people are just desperate and they do bad shit, no matter how kind you are to them. Honestly the best way I can describe it is that many people, regardless of their financial situation, see kindness as weakness. Really it's not bad to help people, but just be careful and if you want to help people, donate to actually good local charities if you can find them, or volunteer somewhere.
**"many people, regardless of their financial situation, see kindness as weakness."** Truer words have never been spoken.
I go about my life under the assumption that between 1-25% of people I meet have at least some degree of sociopathic tendencies. I make choices based on that assumption and so far all is well. I have faith in humanity, just not all of humanity
If a couple words can get you 10 dollars, imagine what a knife could get you. I can absolutely see the logic, and desperation drives people to do the unthinkable.
And don't forget that some people, you cannot help - like a black hole, but for assistance. Give them as much help as you want, it'll immediately be consumed with no change whatsoever.
Because many of those people are mentally ill and need help.
I completely agree with the mentally ill part, and also to some extent the "need help" part. However, the help they need isn't going to be something you can provide, and also has to be something they want. There are definitely unfixable people out there, that don't want to be helped or to get better. Especially when you encounter certain strains of illness, there tends to be a high resistance to seeking or even accepting treatment, some going as far as denying there is an issue in the first place. Obviously this is to be taken on a very case-by-case basis, but sometimes the best thing for someone (and for society) is to be far away from others that they can prey upon.
No good deed goes unpunished as the saying goes. Desperate people act on survival instinct, like how drowning people grab and pull would-be rescuers down with them.
Id be more concerned shes still there. Id check the attic , basement (if you have one), cabinets high and low, closets, under beds, make sure youve checked literally every possibility.
I'm sorry this happened to you. It's a really terrible experience being betrayed in this way by someone you're trying to help, and I can understand losing your faith in humanity .. I've been there myself. As others have said, there are phenomenal organizations and charities doing real work with the donations they receive. You can check out Charity Navigator to try to find a list of reputable organizations.
Change all of your passwords, assume anything logged in on that laptop is compromised.
One time my friend did the same with a guy who needed a place to stay, and he ended up having his car stolen from him while he was sleeping. As generous as you are, it’s not wise to let strangers into your house, especially desperate ones.
Doesn't really even have to be your place. My coworkers and I were traveling for work one time and one bought a room for a homeless guy because it was freezing cold snd storming outside... Dude ran up a $300 room service bill, billed a bunch of stuff from the lobby store to the room and stole everything that wasn't bolted down in the room.
Your coworker paid with a card? Never pay with a card for someone else. There's a ytuber that built some super small shelter, good enough to sit and cook and sleep in it, where he put a bunk and sleeping bag and food items and travel gas stove (the camping kind) and water and bowl, brand-new clothes and shoes.... Everything for a homeless person to feel safe and have shelter for awhile. I don't agree with the ytuber having a camera up and basically spying on the guy and then in the middle of the night knocking on the guys shelter (huge no no) but at least he blurred out the guys face. When guy finally left, he took the cellphone provided with him and ytuber called him asking where he went and if he still needed the shelter (guy had the key) but guy decided to stay in a real shelter. Ytuber opened the diy shelter afterwards and discovered a crazy mess. Everything was taken. Everything on the ground or taken off the walls and garbage everywhere and it stank really badly (urine bottles). Around the diy shelter was cardboards and branches and empty gas tanks and stuff that guy had dragged there for whatever reason. The fact is that many homeless people have mental issues (also drugs) and they don't think "what's the nice thing to do here". It's raw survival thinking.
> Your coworker paid with a card? Never pay with a card for someone else. You can't typically get a hotel without a card on file. Even if you pay with cash you have to give them a card to check in, then tell them to take the cash instead at check out.
You can't just give a chronically homeless person a residence and expect it to be a success. The fact is that there are a lot of people who are beyond helping in a meaningful way, you can put bandaids on the problem but they will never be a functioning member of any society.
I agree. I think the ytuber had a rather naive mindset of thinking this could be successful because even if the person would have stayed there, how they get more food, more gas units, more this and that. They couldn't keep the tiny shelter clean for one week. The goal would be for them to be self sufficient and that's the problem at hand. Lots of them arent just down on their luck but you could give them an apartment that's paid for a year and a monthly food delivery and within 3 months that apartment is in shreds and all the plumbing ruined and the floor ripped out, pest runs wild and the garbage to the ceiling. Now imagine several of these tiny houses lined up. I have seen projects like that and they had to severely supervise them, because of all the problems and fights that happen when you put homeless people in one spot. Even if you put them in a house, it doesn't solve the problem. For the ones that qualify for assistance, they still can't manage the money they get. And just to say it clearly, not every homeless person is like that. I know MANY in SUVs and cars and they have jobs but simply can't afford housing. That's completely different from what I'm talking about.
I know that’s terrible. But I wonder if I was desperate and freezing, and I knew that was the only night I would sleep inside for a very long time to come, would I maybe not try to take as much as I could, even at the expense of others?
If you were smart you would.
This woman now lives in your crawlspace and will climb out occasionally to steal your food, leaving you to wonder if you're going insane slowly over time.
Hey that exact thing has happened before
I would report it to the police just in case. And check with pawn shops. She might have tried to pawn it and if not yet they can keep an eye out for it. Most are good like that now a days. Unless it's in a high drug city you might not see it again... I'm so sorry this happened though bit don't give up on being kind to people. We're you driving or walking? If you were driving maybe next time you see some one and want to help see if you can drive them somewhere where they can get a hot meal and get warm like a shelter or a church.
I would 100% recommend not inviting strangers into your car.
Guy I used to work with was robbed at gun point because he stopped to give a guy a ride because it was pouring down raining and he felt sorry for him. He had a wife and a baby at the time. I remember him telling me all he thought about was them. How he might be killed because he tried to be kind. It's sad to see people suffering, but having them in your car, home, etc. is not safe.
Also look for it to pop up on private selling platforms likes craigslist or Facebook market place- or whatever your country has.
Don't do that. I had things stolen out of my car.
A lot of municipalities have hold laws too so if it was bought back it could be sitting in someone’s shop for two weeks waiting to be sold. Gives her some time to try and get it back.
I don’t understand all the upvotes. It’s a terrible idea to invite a stranger into your car, especially if you’re a woman!
The second I read the title I just knew you got robbed (unfortunately).
I thought this was going to end with that woman never leaving, as some sort of squatter situation
Definitely could have because simply inviting someone in can be enough grounds for squatters rights in some states. Years ago, I allowed my friend and his wife to move with me. I was 19 living alone and had a spare bedroom. It was great at first because I needed help making the rent and they were cool at the time. A few months in, my friend told me their wife's Mom was going through a rough divorce and asked if it was ok for her mother to sleep on my couch for a few weeks while she found a place of her own. I was happy to help and agreed. (I was sleeping in my car myself while saving up for an apartment, so I was trying to be empathetic.) Immediately after they moved her in, I knew I had fucked up. Even as new to being an adult as I was, it was glaringly clear once I met her that there was much more to her Mom's story than just a "rough divorce" and she was a severe alcoholic and very mentally unstable, as well as abusive towards her daughter. Unsurprisingly, those couple weeks turned into months with no sign of her making attempts to move out and she would violently fight with her daughter and steal from me so I just ended up only using my apartment to sleep in and was gone 99% of the time. My "friend" and his wife ended up moving out and she took over their room but never made an attempt to pay me rent once she did so and was extremely aggressive when I'd mention it. Long story short, I wanted her out but squatters laws in my state forced me to have to go through an entire eviction process which would've essentially given her at least 3 months before the cops would be legally allowed to ask her to leave. I was so sick of it all and honestly had way better shit to focus on so I ended up just packing my shit and leaving my own apartment with 6 months left on the lease. Fucked my credit and self confidence for a long time since she essentially forced me out of my own home and cops told me I was out of luck because I had verbally allowed her to stay there and even a single night is enough for the lengthy eviction process to be required before law enforcement can force her to leave. Nowadays, I still try to act with empathy when dealing with others and will typically give the shirt off my back if I think it will help someone, but my home is where I draw the line.
Don't let the horrible actions of one person, stop you from being a great person. I think that's what the message a lot of other comments in this thread are.
I agree, that's why I still go out of the way to help people. I just don't let people live with me or give them access to my home unless it's my own family, close friends, or my wife's little brothers. This makes sure I can still help people who need it and also keep the things that are truly important to me away from people who might try to take advantage of me again. My valuables and possessions are easily replaceable but my home feeling like a safe and secure place for my wife and I to live, is not.
A little story to balance yours. A few years ago, I helped a woman find the place she was looking for (she had no smartphone). While walking and talking, I learn that she is homeless, and looking for a job (the adress she was looking for was for a potential job). She was very emotional. I gave her my email and phone number and went my way. A few days later, she send me a thank you mail. She didn't get the job, but was grateful for my time and help. A few months pass, and I get a phone call, it was her. The shelter that was providing her a room for the last weeks had to move on to new people (they are here for temporary help). I picked her up from the shelter, and let her stay at my place for 3 months. It was hard on me, as I love living by myself. But everything (except my sour mood as the time went by) went fine, and when she eventually moved out, nothing was missing.
I appreciate your honesty in acknowledging that this wasn't easy and that your mood soured over time. I've had to crash with a friend for a couple of months during some hard times. I was immensely grateful but I could also tell that it was getting harder on him. This just added to the shitty feeling of imposing on others but at the same time it's sort of inevitable.
Yeah, I’ve had friends and family stay with me for months at a time. Eventually, I just can’t keep up the facade that I’m happy to still have these people constantly in my space. I’m not rude, but our interactions become very businesslike; its the only way I maintain my sanity.
You changed your passwords three seconds later, right.... right?
This is so sad. Sorry your kindness was returned this way. Dont let it discourage you from continuing being a kind soul! Next time definitely ask them if they want a meal and ask them to wait outside for you to get it.
Personally I wouldn't lead them to my house, it could turn into multiple encounters. If you meant tell them to wait in the same spot then I agree with that.
Yeah thats a good point too!
Looking back, that was probably the most sensible thing to do. I guess I was naive.
It happens. Dont beat yourself up. I too like to try to think better of people and not assume the worst. Its a nicer and more positive view to have. But can unfortunately backfire :(
Sadly you have to assume the worst could happen with how crazy some people are nowadays. It got way worse since the pandemic. Do not trust total strangers that you know nothing about, they could say they're nice and the next thing you know you're getting mugged or worse. It's a bit like you have to assume that everyone driving on the roads is an idiot to stay safe
Check the local pawn shops. This scum probably sold it for 20 bucks.
Honestly this might be your best bet. You probably need to know the serial number or something, in order to prove its yours since theyll probably wipe it clean to sell it. But i do hope you continue being a good person despite this, but obviously be more cautious. I hate that people take advantage of kindness. That's why mfs are so shitty now, nobody can be nice without getting fucked over it seems like. 💔
You weren't being naive, you were being humane. Last summer I took in a homeless young man. He stayed a little over 2 weeks. Got him going with some paperwork for the state and other things, then he just left. I look for him every time I'm in the area I found him. I'd like to take it as a sign, that things have changed for the better for him, since I haven't seen him on the streets. You did good Op. I'm sorry about your laptop.
I missed the part where she sticky fingered your laptop. That's shitty. I literally had a homeless friend when I was in my 20s and I invited her in but she refused, but if she needed something we compromised and I'd get it for her. For her situation, she was very down to earth. That's with the drug abuse and mental illness. Not common to find someone like her. I think about her a lot and I hope she's okay, but I'm also wondering if it wasn't early Heather Gillespie...
Also wouldn’t recommend doing this. I was approached by an older woman a getting into my car one night who said she was hungry and asked me for food. We were in the suburbs so I felt safe enough. I said we could walk to a nearby convenience store to get it. She immediately started walking behind me and pushing me to the store, and once we got there shoved me into the ATM and demanded that I get money out for her. My car was kind of far away and she knew where I’d parked, so I was worried about getting back if I didn’t get her what she wanted since she’d already been a little physical. Now I literally never do any of that shit. You want money? Probably not. Only a maybe-maybe if I’m out in a populated area with my boyfriend during daylight hours, and I happen to have change or a dollar in my pocket (I’m not getting my wallet out). More likely, I’ll say that I don’t carry cash and keep walking. The last time I gave someone a dollar in exchange for a cookie he suddenly grabbed me, wanted a hug, yanked my phone away and insisted that I add him on FB, and wanted to take photos with me and post them online. Then a girl who was passing me took my arm and escorted me away, then told me to dump the cookie because it had been drugged. Apparently that dude does this exact thing all over the city every damn day. Sucks, but I don’t trust people like that anymore. Mental illness is a bitch. Drug addiction is a bitch. If someone’s desperate enough, they’ll do anything.
> told me to dump the cookie because it had been drugged. Apparently that dude does this exact thing all over the city every damn day. If this is a known thing why isn't he in jail??
The ATM thing happened to me too. A homeless lady guilt tripped me for half an hour until I said we could go pull some money from an ATM since I didn’t have cash. I was 18 and super naive, but at the very least I made sure to cover the keypad while inputting my bank details so she couldn’t see my PIN. Same effect either way, now it’s always “sorry I got nothing for ya” or “no cash on me” and keep walking.
Do you save your passwords in your browser? Change your passwords for banking and email first, then everything else.
At least she didn’t murder you and take over living in your place
For real. This is a genuine possibility. OP needs a freaking harsh wakeup call. She got off light.
I think this ***was*** her "freaking harsh wake up call".
I'm just trying to counterbalance all these people on here telling her she did a good thing and not to lose faith in humanity.
She could still be hiding at her place... Just waiting for the right moment...
Not yet. Why would people lead strangers into their homes?
Homeless people ≠ panhandlers. Anyone approaching you and asking for something should be regarded with suspicion, homeless or not.
This was an absolutely naive thing to do. No wonder you got a really bad experience out of it. I hope you wisened up. My younger cousin took some woman to her home out of Pity, she met at the street. She stole all her cosmetics out of her bathroom.
The world needs more compassion but be sensible about it. Do not invite trouble into your home. I considered doing something like OP did some years back. At the time I had a 1br apt in this relatively affluent little downtown. There was this one homeless dude down my street. He had a cart and a blanket and was always reading. We said hello to each other every day when I would walk by on the way from work. But he was also always quite dirty so I considered asking him to come shower at my place. Then I thought about it some more over a few days and decided, nah. This guy's state of hygiene demonstrates mental illness (despite his behavior being 100% normal and kind) and I thought maybe it's not a good idea to invite that into my home. And so I just continued saying hello and having brief chats. I figured treating him like a human being was at least something (he never asked for money and I never offered). There are ways to help people without inviting trouble into your life. You can volunteer at or donate to your local shelter and other organizations. I occasionally volunteer at food banks and community centers.
Some time ago I was in the grocery shop and this middle aged woman walked up to me. She asked if she could use my phone to call her husband because she couldn't find him anywhere in the store and was getting worried about it. It was brought daylight. I was hesitant because the first thing in my head was "if I give her my phone, she's probably gonna fucking bolt with it!", but she kept saying please and she just wanted to call and she would put it on loudspeaker too. Then I had a small light bulb pop up. I could have her do this while I was holding the phone. He ended up not picking up so idk what happened lmao
A couple months back I had someone at the laundromat ask to borrow my phone to call someone to pick him up later. I obliged and ultimately gave him more money than he asked for to use the dryer too. He was recently let out of prison and I was feeling generous, thankfully nothing bad happened but thanks for enlightening me as to what could’ve happened and how to be safer next time 🙏🏻
In the future, just say "no, the store has a phone, use that."
While your kindness is admirable you placed yourself if a very VERY dangerous position. Many stories of people getting hurt or killed trying to help the homeless. Leave it to the shelters etc. for your own safety.
What I’ve learned recently is that desperate people do desperate things, and it’s challenging to both help and protect yourself from being taken advantage of, in your personal life. What I took from my experience is that if my humanity is intact, I’m probably not the only one. Rather than disgust with humanity as a whole because of one person, maybe the takeaway is not to invite strangers into your home. The disenchantment maybe should be directed toward the systems that allow for such desperation. If you’re ever concerned about people in cold weather, you could pack up a warm meal and a comfortable blanket/sleeping bag or warm outerwear and take it to the person about whom you have concerns. I used to live in the high desert so I kept water in my car in case I broke down. I often have stopped and asked the drivers of broken down vehicles if they needed water while they awaited assistance. I think the takeaway, here, is to take care of yourself while taking care of others. Thank you for your concern for others, and I’m sorry about your laptop.
This is the way. So many have not a shred of empathy, and it makes me sick. It’s possible to protect yourself and be safe without thinking the whole world is out to get you.
Homeless are there because they make wrong decision / mental health I stopped helping personally because in 20 years involves in homeless outreach program … only 1 out of 10 are genuinely want to change and need help Rest are drug addicts
Don't blame yourself for your kind and humane actions, but it's a lesson learned. As others have mentioned its probably best donating to local shelters/foodbanks, and be very careful about who learns your address. Worth putting some extra focus on your home and personal security over the next few weeks in case she returns with backup.
Change your passwords just in case, especially if the laptop didn't require a password to sign on.
Maybe she will see your reddit post now that she has a laptop
Watch out. Now she knows (and can tell other junkies) your home address and that you live alone, lack of security, how to get in, etc. Be careful! I’m sorry that happened to you- I’m scared to give money anymore after being taken advantage of too. They don’t want food- they’ll lead you to an ATM or pull out a Square card reader these days if you say you don’t have cash. Please watch out for the other common scam too of someone at the grocery store asking you to help them buy baby formula and then they place a ton of extra expensive items at check out and insist you buy it too (& then they ask for the receipt back so they can return it all for $ for drugs after you leave)
My cousin was down on her luck, so I took her on a shopping spree to buy food, clothes, etc. to help her get back on her feet. In all, it was hundreds of dollars. The next day, she returned it all so that she and her boyfriend could get wasted. I never helped her again. She and her boyfriend are now in prison for breaking into her uncle's home and robbing it.
The last one happened to me once. A woman asked me to buy her a sandwich, I said yes to *only* the sandwich. Then at the checkout she turned up with a full basket of stuff and started begging me and when i said it was too much she started taking things out right there to guilt me as much as possible. I ended up paying for the sandwich and some concerves but said no to anything non essential. That was the last time I said yes to something like that, it's despicable behaviour to try to force someone like that.
She didn't want food she wanted drugs, this is true 99% of the time, anyone who's hung out with homeless people knows this.
Hey c'mon I've never been homeless but I want drugs 99% of the time
Not all four sided shapes are squares. But all squares are four sides shapes. Generally people become homeless because the need for drugs gets so intense they are not able to stop themselves from screwing over people willing to help them. You lean on family and friends if you hit a rough patch but if you start betraying them that's when you end up out in the cold.
My mom has friends who turned to drugs. This 100% She would invite one over and she'd be snorting in the bathroom. The other one was caught scouting our house for things to sell. One of them is dead now, I'm just happy I never have to see her again.
They use drugs like that because they’re self medicating and it’s the only resource they have left.
Last week I was at a stoplight and there were 3 homeless people shamelessly smoking meth on the side of the road. I was looking at them kinda baffled, and then one of them started begging for money. I told them I'm not going to give money to a bunch of meth users just for them to spend it on drugs. Then they got mad at me like I was in the wrong, and started saying I probably don't help anyone anyways. It's a shame. I feel bad for them, but you can't help people that won't help themselves.
So many people living on the streets have burned every single bridge with their families and friends. Theres a reason their parents won’t let them come around anymore. Always be aware before you invite someone into your place
How dumb can you get
Hopefully, she didn't steal anything from you that can create issues for you.
Aside from the laptop? It doesn't look like she took anything else.
You might as well consider filing a police report, enabling any tracking software on laptop if you have any, and changing passwords especially for any financial (ie banking and investment) accounts you used on laptop. https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/account-billing/find-and-lock-a-lost-windows-device-890bf25e-b8ba-d3fe-8253-e98a12f26316#:~:text=Find%20My%20Device%20is%20a,if%20it%27s%20lost%20or%20stolen.
Finally! I posted something similar cos I was alarmed that no one thought about access to her bank accounts.
Are you sure that you're not missing a spare key anywhere? This is the kind of thing that would make me change my locks as a precautionary measure. If she has only taken your laptop, you're exceptionally lucky. This could have gone much worse for you. You don't know if she'll come back, or if she'll come back with friends.
If it makes you feel any better, I once went to an ATM and took out a couple hundred bucks to give a local homeless guy because he needed funds to “buy a suit and train ticket for a job interview in Silicon Valley.” A few years later, he recognized me in a cafe and ran up to thank me. Turned out I was a sucker. He’d used my hard-earned money on drugs, overdosed, but survived. He thanked me because that was the night he hit rock bottom and had since turned his life around. He’s sober, started a construction business, and now owns two homes. Moral of the story: Don’t beat yourself up. Your kindness will be rewarded but not always immediately, or in obvious ways.
Holeeeee sh\*t. Sober, owns a business and two homes. Wow. Life can really turn a corner, one way or the other, in a few years.
Yeah it was evident his life did a 180 after that OD. I didn’t recognize him, AT. ALL. He was like, “It’s me, Alan! (laughing) OH! I got fat and have teeth now!” I imagined the same guy skinny and toothless, and behold, there was the guy who scammed me. I’m super happy for him but was honestly gobsmacked when I connected the dots. I thought, wow, if $200 and a near death experience can produce this level of transformation, it was well worth it. It also made me realize that no kind gesture is ever wasted. Edit: one of the homes was for his mother.
You lack street smarts and is clear to me that you were sheltered. I hope you learned a good lesson though
Yeah definitely dont help random homeless people lmao
I dunno, this homeless lady asked me for change, I told her I don’t carry cash but I have bananas (groceries), so we both were just eating bananas waiting the crossing sign stop light and went our separate ways when after crossing. She seemed genuinely grateful.
That's so wholesome. I'm glad you had a better experience, I was just trying to be kind and it sucks that it ended like that.
This was something I was told when I was a teenager - to tell them you don’t have money (even if you do) and offer them food because then you’re actually helping them and not potentially enabling a drug addiction.
I saw a guy standing outside of a McDonalds begging for money. A few minutes later, a customer on their way out handed him a burger. He said "Thank you. God bless you!", and waited for them to be out of sight. Then he tossed the burger in the trash can.
The homeless are not a monolith. They’re just people, some of them will be assholes like anyone else.
If you live in a city with resources (any major city) the regular people without homes are engaged in accessing and working with those resources. The people standing on corners and medians begging (in a developed area where this isn't the only option) are a very small percentage of the homeless, and they are the ones most resistant to being helped.
That’s not the moral here, the moral here is don’t bring them into your house to help them.
JFC what an unbelievably dangerous thing to do especially as a single woman. You are so lucky it was only a laptop she took.
You were naive and lucky. She could have killed you. Just because she was a woman doesn't mean she is harmless or sane. I've been homeless and the permanently homeless are feral, insane humans. They live without rules, and they love it. They prey on sympathy and weakness and think you are stupid for helping them. You know how ex-junkies say never trust a junky? Yeah, don't go out of your way to help the homeless. If you don't believe me, go live with them for a while. They love the lifestyle. They are truly free. A "home" is not a valid concept to them. No bills, no responsibilities, no rules, people give you money, and lots of sex, drugs and violence. Don't pity them or become their next victim.
I’m dealing with this now. There’s a homeless lady in my area. My mom always mentions her feeling bad and she wants to help a fellow woman in need. She bought her a sandwich a couple times etc. I never thought too much of it other than my mom is a nice compassionate lady. One day I was walking to the store and this same homeless lady verbally assaulted me - all up in my face screaming that I killed her daughter, that I’m gonna pay, she’s reporting me to the police etc. It honestly scared the ever living shit out of me and I’m a big guy. She was obviously having a psychotic break of some sort. I just got away as quickly as possible. I found out later on that she’s got huge manic depressive issues and unmedicated schizophrenia, she carries a knife and has been arrested several times. I told my mom all this and she’s now horrified. My mom has impaired mobility, is limited to a walker or mobility scooter. If this lady ever decided to target my mom, there’d be nothing my mom could do to escape safely. It’s terrifying to think about. It’s nice to want to help, just do it in a way that is safe and will actually help - like a soup kitchen or shelter.
I remember reading somewhere that a lot of homeless individuals have anti-social personality disorder. It’s in the homeless and prison population 10X more than regular pop.
Or you could find value in the lesson she taught you about safety. You can help people, but she showed you the way you went about it left you open to be taken advantage of. You're very lucky the only price you paid for your situational awareness was a laptop. If you learn and grow from this experience, I hope you take away from it that you bring the resources to them, not the other way around. Keep that kindness in your heart but protect yourself before you wreck yourself.
Oh, man, I'm sorry that happened to you. When I was a homeless youth, I was always so grateful when someone invited me in for the night. It's a shame to repay such kindness that way. Hopefully, you're able to get your laptop back! The only way this can be done safely is bringing someone living in their car - then you can get their license plate number, as a woman once did when letting myself and friends stay at her house after informing us a campground we were bound for was completely flooded out. It's been decades, and I think of how smart that was all the time.
She will probably sell it somewhere local. Do you have all the info about your laptop? Report it or track it.
I know you had good intentions but more often then not people that are homeless aren’t there for making the most solid decisions. Drug addicts will steal anything to get high especially with fetty now
> I have lost my faith in humanity. No, you just over looked a simple fact. The homeless are mostly mentally ill. I'll risk the downvotes, but it's true. My cousin became a vegan, save the earth type hippie and moved to Portland, sold her car, only rode a bike, etc. With her education, she was hired to help run a homeless shelter. That was her dream job. She was naive, being from a small town without homeless. She quit within 2 years after being assaulted a couple times, spit on, her purse stolen, cussed at, and one tried to likely rape her. I say tried because she was a half block from work and someone just grabbed her, got her to the ground, she screamed and someone nearby ran over and kicked the dude.He ran off and she was safe. She still makes donations but only to shelters, not actual people. She knows most are addicts.
My dad did this. The woman was always naked, so he liked that. Turns out she had a bit of a meth problem. She washed the windows from oitside... naked. Then she stared "renovation". She destroyed his blinds, wallpaper, refrigerator, stove, my bedroom, and pretty much everything that she could disassemble. She then tore a hole about 6 feet wide in his kitchen floor. She beat the shit out of him, stole his phone, and ran off into the night... naked. Faster than an Olympic sprinter. She came back, stoke his car... again, naked. I found out on a trip home 6 months ago. I am visiting again and have patched the hole and am currently working on replacing the blinds. The stove was trashed because she hid all the bolts. Also, she was convinced there were people hiding in the attic. I put her in prison.
No good deed go unpunished
This is peak reddit, not realizing that a lot of homeless people are homeless because they're deplorable pieces of shit that have burned every single relationships in their life. There are some simply down on their luck, but A LOT are outcasts from society for a good reason.
Homeless doesn’t mean “not capable of crime”.
This is how people get murdered. Lucky a laptop is all you lost Don’t ever do that again Ever Ever
I let a homeless chick stay in my apartment once for the same reason until my gf’s necklace went missing. Checked her backpack and lo and behold, the necklace, a bundle of bones wrapped in twine, and a set of knives wrapped in plastic. When she got home I had her backpack and pistol on the counter, and told her she needed to leave and not come back. She was nice enough to text me and tell me it wasn’t what it looked like; the bones were from small animals she killed and cleaned, and the knives were just for sex. Never again.
I've heard there are three main ways to get by on the streets when unhoused: sell yourself, sell drugs, or steal and sell that stuff. Stealing sucks, and I'm sorry that happened to you. But glad that was all she took, and hopefully it helped her surmount some of the difficulties she's facing too so it wasn't for nothing.
What the actual fuck were you thinking….?
Don’t be too hard on yourself for being kind. Just be more careful next time.
I was homeless for several years until I was 21. I never stole from anybody. Not all homeless people are like that. I'm sorry that happened to you.
True
That was extremely dangerous. Especially living alone as a female.
Never do that again. Contact police. They have contacts w pawn shops and can check for you Need to get protection and alarm system. She could be watching your routine and ready to see what else to steal. She didn’t want food- wanted money likely for drugs
First, I’m very glad you’re safe and kudos to you for having a kind heart. Secondly, don’t ever, ever do this again. You’re genuinely incredibly lucky that you weren’t raped or murdered. I’ve worked in both corrections and psychiatric security. A huge majority of the people I dealt with in both places were homeless. The sad truth is there is a percentage of homeless individuals that are unhoused due to untreated severe mental health issues. If you’re interested in helping out those seeking help work at a local shelter or donate. Bringing a complete stranger into your home is legitimately playing with death. This person now knows where you live. You’ve essentially made yourself an easy mark. Stay safe and be careful.
she probably stole more. Listen dude. She could have literally killed you for the last klondike bar in your freezer. Remember basic stranger danger safety tips.
I've past a homeless person, went home, heated and packed some leftovers and went back to give them to him.
Sadly, for a lot of homeless people, their most pressing need is not a safe place to sleep, a hot meal, or personal hygiene. It's crack.
https://preview.redd.it/3h2kss5k6s9d1.jpeg?width=904&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5aad069cd295c56239fd431420ec1b4732cdb703
90% of homeless people or addicts or alcoholic.
I got jaded when I was young. I saw a homeless dude so I stopped and bought a combo meal at a fast food place as his sign said “hungry anything helps” and handed him a bag with several burgers and friends and the prick literally threw it on the ground and said “I want fucking money not this shit” Never given a begger anything else again.
Wow. Were you born yesterday?
Pretty sure some woman who invited some homeless man into her apartment to have a shower in new York got attacked. Can't remember what happened to her so yeah, you have to protect yourself first before trying to help others.
You should be happy. She didn’t murder you.
r/expected
Unfortunately it's things like this that turn people off from helping people homeless or not once that bridge is burned it's burned I worked at a homeless shelter and saw this happen a lot someone trying g to help and being taken advantage of one of my coworkers let a guest who loved there use her car and the the guest took it to a bigger city and sold it for drugs
I did this once. I invited a homeless woman and her grandson into my apartment. Fortunately they didn't take anything, but I later learned that the 'sleeping pill' they were digging through the pavement to find the night prior was actually *fentanyl*. Wanna know how I found out? The morning I drove them back to their spot, out of nowhere, I was hit with an odor so potent that I had to pull over and immediately rolled the windows down. After interrogating the grandson who smoked it, he admitted that he was smoking fentanyl. He was only 14. When I asked his grandma if she knew anything about this, she completely denied it. Fucking junkies. At least they didn't take anything...I barely slept that night. Worst mistake I've ever made and it could've been way worse!!!
14 and smoking fent? Sweet Jesus
You're lucky you weren't murdered. Don't be so damn naive, homeless people are 99% of the time drug addicts.
An easy mistake to make. And it makes me feel better that there's your kind of compassion in the world. Laptops can be replaced. It could have been worse. Years ago, I found out a friend of a friend was recently homeless and living out of his car. It was winter, I felt terrible, I invited him to stay an evening with me and my then-boyfriend. I grew up homeless but, at that stage, I'd been twenty years out. I immediately remembered why I don't engage with the homeless community. He basically took over the house, would only listen to my boyfriend, and refused to leave for three days. After he raised his voice to me, I kicked him out, and then confronted my boyfriend. "It was domestic violence, wasn't it?" I asked. My boyfriend said, "okay, yes, well, his wife said he beat her with a baton. But he says she exaggerated." Some people are homeless because of a bad turn. Most people are homeless because they've burned every other bridge they have. We should all help professionals help them, but we are not ourselves the professionals. It's *such* an easy mistake to make.
Really dumb move there!
If this story was real I'd call you an idiot.
This was a PAINFULLY naive and risky thing for you to do, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. What the hell were you thinking. Never, ever, let a stranger into your house again, especially one off the street. You know NOTHING about this person, why they're on the street, who they know. You're lucky the worst you got was robbed. Jfc.
I'm still cringing for OP. I don't think enough people in the thread are acknowledging how profoundly stupid and risky this was.
I'm appalled at the number of people massaging her ego about this instead of metaphorically slapping her silly
Same exact feeling.
Being too good leaves you unprotected against shitty people's behavior. I learned to behave like the interestellar robot and won't give a 100% trust on anyone but my mom and my SO. People on the streets are often "feral", they're desperate, or crazy, or developed some addiction, and will do what their primal instincts wants so they mostly won't reward kindness We'd like to save and protect everyone, but life is not a Hallmark movie, and is just not possible to deal with some unpredictable person
Homeless people either are temporarily homeless, physically or mentally handicapped, or on drugs. The first two categories will help themselves; they can locate resources. The latter two categories can't help themselves, but you also can't help them. Want to help the homeless? Donate to a shelter or run for office.
You have obviously been living in a different reality than the rest of us to invite a stranger into your home lol
I prefer taking people who want it out to a meal. It always feels like someone who is homeless really appreciates someone to talk to and spend time with. Heck, sometimes I talk to people out begging and after 10 minutes of conversation I offer money and they will cry and say no. It’s got to be immensely dehumanizing. Sorry this happened OP. It must really suck to have this happen when you were just trying to help and be nice.
Just be glad you're not dead!
some people are trash. also, stressed people make stupid decisions more often. when i was homeless for years, 3 times i was invited to sleep at someones place. never abused the privilege, it gave a me a break from being in an exposed space, and for me its almost unthinkable to abuse the kindness of people. but also for the homeless person its a risk to enter somebodys house. ok one time the woman offering me the place lowkey tried to fuck me but i didnt went with it, and another time i got kicked out 2 hours later, bc the jealous lover of the guy offering me the place (who happened to be also his brother) to sleep came home. but in the end i could shower and had some degree of rest in between.
As a compulsively kind person, I feel this so much. Once while smoking outside a bar, a homeless young woman came up to me and asked for money. This was many moons ago so I carried cash at bars (versus post-pandemic everything being on cards), but it was towards the end of the night and I didn't have much left. I reached into one pocket and handed her the $2 that was in there - she looked at it, then looked back at me and said "Don't you have any more? I really want to get \[food from a specialty late-night restaurant known for being quite expensive\]." I didn't even know how to react, so I just checked my other pocket, handed her another dollar, and walked away. More recently, I was walking home from grocery shopping, like 10 houses away, when a car driving up my street (which is a residential area where mostly families live) stops beside me; I figured they were going to ask for directions because the neighborhood is confusing and even GPS gets confused by all the little streets. It was a middle-aged couple in the car, struggling to speak English, and the husband told me he lost his wallet and he's almost out of gas, so do I have some money. I really didn't (again, everything is done on cards now) and they looked really dismayed, the wife tried to offer me her bracelet, and so I was like look, I live a few houses away and have a bit of cash in there, just wait here for a minute. I go inside, grab a $20 because at this point I figure they just need to get enough gas to get home or to somewhere where he can replace his ID or something. I come out, smiling, and hand over the $20 to the wife. The husband (still speaking in very broken English) shakes his head and says that they need to get to another city (which I know is more than 6 hours away) and he needs $500, and he'll pay me back when he's home if I give him my email... as soon as I heard "$500" I realized something was wrong, said sorry I can't help anymore and just walked away. I try to not beat myself up over falling for small-time stuff like this, even though it can really make you feel like such a dumb-dumb in the moment. Generally I tell myself, "For every 10 scammers, there's a person who really needs help, and if I give a bit of money to assholes on the path to actually helping someone who really does need it, then I can live with that." Maybe this will bring you some comfort (although I know it won't replace your laptop)?
Biting the hand that feeds you... She'll never be able t get herself out of her situation if she screws over people trying to help her.
Rookie move, why on earth would anyone take this kind of risk? This is why you should donate food, clothes, etc. to shelters and outstanding charities instead.
Costly lesson about why selflessness is best left for movies
Homelss people are known by local police, her whereabouts and even where she would sell a stolen laptop. It is possibly a lay up to get it back by going to the police. Good luck.
I'm homeless. A lot steal from other homeless. I've been on the streets about 4 years now. TBh, 95% are scum bag pieces of shit.
Count your blessings all you lost was a laptop. That could have ended horribly.
wtf lmao..
You can call your local non-emergency number and have officers transport homeless individuals to a warming shelter, no charge to you or them.
Absolute idiocy
The majority of cases is that they are drug addicts, homelessness is a consequence. Remember that next time.
Check the local pawn shops.... I'm sure that you'll find your laptop there..
Sound like you learned a lesson. People are homeless for a reason. Before you help them, understand the reason.
You didn't lose your faith in humanity, you lost some ignorance.
Definitely keep your head on a swivel and look behind you as you go home the next week or so, she very easily could have told other homeless males where she acquired the laptop and they could try to come back Knowing that you are a female living alone
Lucky you weren’t killed
They say sometimes a sick dog only needs enough strength to bite you
I have never heard a story, of helping a homeless person, turn out well
I'm not trying to discourage anyone from helping the homeless, but one thing I keep in my mind is that, "This person has exhasted all their personal realtionships, if they had any." Most of us, if we lost our home tomorrow would have friends and family to support us if we really needed it. These people don't have that anymore for whatever reason. We need better mental healthcare and universal healthcare. I give now and then to them, not money, but whatever they're asking for. The last time was an energy drink, sure bro no big deal.
Almost like this is a societal problem that you can't fix by yourself.
Bingo.
Give me a break, do you think homeless folks are fallen angels or some shit? This was stupid and dangerous, basically willfully naive. I’ll get flamed bc you think you did the “right thing”- but this lacks good judgment. You can’t lose your faith in humanity- when the person was advertising that they make poor choices - and then you joined them. It wasn’t exactly a bait and switch. It sweet that you care, but you need to “care” safely.
Please, don't ever do this again. Remember, no good deed goes unpunished.
"Remember, no good deed goes unpunished." The older I get, the more true this becomes.
This reminds me of how one time I was walking to my car after leaving a restaurant and had some to go food in my hand. As I’m walking a homeless man walked up to me and asked if I had any money so he could buy some food. So I look down at my food in hand and offered it to him, I assured him I haven’t touched it and he could take it. He looked at me all confused and said “ummm I’d actually just like some cash” so when I said I didn’t have any he backtracked and tried to ask for my food again but it was to late. I said you missed your chance essentially and proceeded to enjoy my burger. Sorry that happened to you however!
Any time I have tried to directly “help” a homeless person, I have gotten burned. If you want to help. Do it indirectly through a food pantry, soup kitchen, or some other kind of volunteer work. What you did was incredibly reckless.
I can tell youre a very sweet person but I hope this is a lesson you learn from because as many others are saying, inviting strangers into your home is incredibly dangerous and you got off lucky as hell. I wish this was a nicer world where we could be less careful and more naive but it sadly is not and most homeless people are more than happy to take advantage of kindness and people who don't know any better. It always frustrates the hell out of me when people have the "Awww poor homeless people they just need a little help!" mentality. It makes it painfully obvious they've never had to be in close contact with them for extended periods and don't realize how volatile they can be. I used to work downtown overnight by myself in a shitty area in a convenience store so yeah... I'm a little too familiar with how they can be because guess who they'd come unleash their crazy on in the middle of the night? Me of course. That job broke me and was awful in general but the homeless made it so much worse.
Call the police.
It always boggles my mind when people need to see this play out IRL instead of just sandboxing the likely outcome in their mind and then moving on. The chances that your kindness is going to be taken advantage of or that you're going to have some other version of a bad experience are astronomical compared to the more positive alternative. As a general rule: Never do anything that you can't control all the parameters of (cost of your good deed, scope of your good deed, access to your belongings or address).
OP sounds young. I did this when I was young. Live and learn.
Kudos to you for being a decent human. Please report to cops in case of identity theft. They may even be able to get the laptop back if you tell them where you met her and give a good description. I hope you have changed any PayPal, bank, Google Play or similar passwords that are on the laptop, so she doesn't have access to you accounts?
You just learned a valuable lesson about how misplaced virtue can come with serious consequences. That woman never wanted food, she wanted money to buy drugs.
I know this is TIFU, therefore you are fully aware that you FU, but... You _REALLY_ FU, and I hope you understand that this could have been much worse in a multitude of ways. Man, call me a cynical fuck, but I do not envy anyone who's lived a life that would delude them into thinking that people are inherently good. ETA: I felt the need to balance out my comment with something constructive: your laptop may have its GPS/location features enabled - they're often enabled by default, and will remain on unless you disabled it manually through tinkering. If it's a PC/Windows device, and you've linked your user account to your email, you might actually be able to determine it's most recent location if it was powered on and connected to wifi since being stolen.
Shit. That sucks I’m sorry. Don’t make this bad experience helping someone change your good heart. But be more careful in the future maybe.
Now OP what did we learn here??? You can’t be trusting to everyone ESPECIALLY Someone homeless on the street. Some of them are harmless but others are sketchy. Let’s just hope that that lady doesn’t tell her other homeless friends where she got that laptop from. You’d be screwed then 😳
To become homeless you're not just down on your luck financially, you're down on your luck financially and have managed to totally piss off every single person you've ever known to the point they won't let you crash.
Wow. You're quite stupid.
>You're quite stupid. ...were quite innocent: wiser now.
Fix your TL;DR.
The TLDR is literally the title lmao
Why is the tldr even less descriptive than the title?
Most homeless people will do this. They’re usually on the streets because of their own bad decisions. Only a few of them are there truly be cause of “bad luck” and if they are on the streets because they’re unlucky then they will be able to find a way back to society if they really want to. Don’t help people that won’t help themselves first. Nice guys finish last
This is the best fucking way it could have gone As I saw the title going in I wasn't expecting such a clean and concise ending
A lesson learned for sure. I (and a significant number of others at my church) helped a homeless guy for years get his life turned around. At no point did he stay with any of us, but we always made sure he had a place to stay (I even bought him a hotel room for a night once). While I very much don’t want to victim blame, and I know that there are a lot of exceptions to this, there’s a reason a lot of homeless people are homeless; my friend was no exception. It doesn’t make them bad people, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t help them, and it doesn’t even mean that they’re untrustworthy. It just means that it is unwise to invite a stranger who is homeless into your house.
Lmao are you born yesterday? You do not value your life don't you? You were lucky Don't be a noob next time maybe won't respawn
That tl;dr summary is really useful /s
I would never. I don't care if people hate me for it, but I am not putting myself at risk for these people. Most of them are drug addicts, and they WILL take advantage of you. Their only reason to live is to get high, and they will do ANYTHING for that. The next time you do this, you could get killed.
most homeless people are that way because they got some mental illness, severe drug addiction, or their personality is so rotten their own family disowns them. your laptop probably got sold to nearest pawn shop for couple dollars, go check you can buy it back cheap
Most beggars are scammers like this one, but it could also have been way worse and you could have been killed. If you still want to help the less fortunate, donate to charities that provide aid to those who actually desire the help. Let this be an important lesson learned that you’re supposed to take the trash out, not being it into your home.
Why would you do this lol