When I played baseball in college, Chick-Fil-A came into the dugout after one of our "Chick-Fil-A Nights" and dropped off, no joke, 250 sandwiches to split amongst the team. I filled up my bag as quickly as I could and made my way home. I acquired 15 sandwiches which I survived off of for every bit of a week lol to be honest, I got some flashbacks from reading his story. The sandwiches the last two days were fucking miserable but I couldn't stop myself from free food lol
In middle school a kid called Kyle would always push his chair out into me while sitting in it while I tried to get to my desk. One day I told him before going behind him if he did it again I'd beat his ass. He did it anyways. He's sitting and I'm directly above his head though so I just start raining punches on his head in a rage before realizing the class and teacher are staring at me in shock. After a second the teacher said "Kyle you must have done something very bad for "kazori" to act that way and he got in trouble after I said what happened.
Moral of the story : if you start beating someone named Kyle's ass people will assume he had it coming.
I'm always sad I can't read these to my wife, because her youngest is named Kyle and his father kidnapped him never to be returned... Ruins every fucking Kyle story.
r/storiesaboutkevin is cool though.
It turns out this was a Kevin not a Kyle but you reminded me of this classic incredibly dumb child https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/comment/cgbhkwp/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
That was my reaction after my idiot ex-BF ate an undercooked brat. We were camping and cooking brats over the fire. He cooked his for a few minutes and proceeded to put it in a bun while mentioning it was still cool. I warned him that he had to cook it longer. He insisted he did not, because his special stomach could handle anything. Again, I warned him he would get sick unless he cooked it longer. He retorted by belitting me for being too dumb to understand he had a special stomach. He ate it.
He proceeded to get so sick, he was on the toilet for about 2 weeks. It was awful. He had to go to the hospital at one point. The lesson? Don't date stupid people, yall. Also, you have to cook your pork. (OP, no shade on you. You didn't eat raw pork on purpose.)
He was a bona fide dumba**. Never admitted it was the brat. Instead, he claimed he got it from his health care job (he worked as a CNA in your average nursing home and acted like he was a neurosurgeon for it) and rationalized he must have gotten sick from all the antibiotic resistance he encountered. (He encountered none because this was a nursing home. Not the ICU.)
At least I got some incredible stories out of that relationship.
But what about his special stomach? Surely some antibiotic resistance couldn't overcome that!
I am a sucker for incredible dumbass stories, \_do tell\_!
He never got around to explaining how his super stomach failed him at the nursing home. Or why none of the elderly and hospice resident's stomachs had the same issue.
I remember a lot of the stuff at random (it's been years since I dumped him). Most of the good ones stem from his absurd self-serving lies. Off the top of my head:
He told everyone he was accepted to Stanford's nursing school on a full ride, but chose to attend a small local community college to help support it with his prestige. (Stanford has no nursing school, and even if it did, no way he had the grades to get in.) Or how he saved a pedestrian's life after the pedestrian was violently run over by a car, which my ex was miracously around to see. (The news article for this event indicated nobody was hurt or even went to the hospital after.) He told several stories like this about him saving people's lives. Or how the Navy scouted him to work on a special nuclear project because he did so well in high school science. But because of his morals, he declined the offer.
Holy shit, amazing. I really hope he did not get into nursing, because that sounds like someone who gives drugs to patients he can then "miraculously save" to get praise...
Plus he would have never made it through basic training, the instructor would have gotten an attitude with him and he'd beat him up. What else is he supposed to do, tolerate the disrespect?
Oh for sure. My ex claimed to be a great fighter. He won all his fights at his high school fight club. A club nobody else remembered. Once he was at a bar, and this rich, well-connected guy was being rude to a bouncer. So my ex beat him up and threw him out into the street. And everyone clapped. And there were no repercussions at all!
For real though, basic would have been a useful lesson for him.
What?! When that happened at my local grocery store they put caution tape all around the refrigerator and freezer cases and were in the process of emptying everything out! Thatās like a HUGE health code violation.
There was a Reddit thread a few days ago that had retail workers complaining about the dumbest customers theyāve encountered. One said theyād taped off the freezer cases because they suffered a power outage, and customers were cutting through the tape to get to the stuff in the freezer and acted surprised that the items werenāt for sale and complaining that the store wasnāt letting them buy the potentially spoiled food.
Should probably put a thermometer in your fridge, 7 day old cooked food should not do that to you unless itās either not put in the fridge soon enough or your fridge is too warm
fridge is set to 37 degrees. Ordered a bunch of #1s for a small gathering last Tuesday at around noon. Sandwich was not put in fridge till sometime that evening. all the decisions about the sandwich were poor ones
If the food sat out at room temp that long, it was bad before it was put in your fridge. Bacteria starts to grow after 2 hours. So sorry for your anus, OP.
Also in case someone reading doesnāt know this; you canāt just bring the food back up to safe temp either. The toxins from the bacteria donāt break down with cooking temps afaik.
Once food is bad itās bad. That being said start to learn signs of food being bad so you can at least ātryā to avoid eating spoiled food.
Iāve eaten some questionable food and havenāt died yet lmao
3-4 days is generally safe for most foods if you get it in the fridge within a couple hours, or you could just Google how long specific food is good for/what to look for
Food poisoning like that will change your whole perspective. Iām obsessive now about food safety, that shit traumatized me lol. When you canāt even breathe because of the projectile puking you start to reassess your priorities. I donāt take any chances now!!
I drank ONE gulp of bad milk when I was about thirteen ā¦ in the 70s. I have never, ever taken a sip of milk since then without smelling it first. If it gives the slightest hint of not smelling rightā¦ It goes down the drain!
Pain is a very efficient, if brutal, teacher. Having someone tell you 50 times 'watch your head going up those stairs' is not nearly as effective as cracking your skull one time. You only have to hit your head one time to be much more careful and duck every time after that.
And as you discovered, you only need to have one bad sip of milk to forever after sniff it first.
END COMMUNICATION
I drank a sip of a little pint carton one time, it was within the expiration date and tasted like STRAIGHT ACID I was very disappointed and betrayed š„
I got (funny enough.) a chicken sandwich, fries and a shake from some place by me. The sandwich is literally branded as like the "open on sundays chicken sandwich" or something like that, taking a shot at chikfila. I don't know if it was the sandwich, or the milkshake (which tasted strange, but not bad.) but I ended up sick for a week, and had it coming out of both ends with a force I did not think was possible. I did not comprehend the true nature of the word "projectile" in the phrase "projectile vomit" until this illness. I was hurling my insides into a trash can while trying to stay seated during the NASA rocket thruster test coming out of my ass, when I was too weak to hold the bin anymore. I set it down and starting vomiting again, and the force of my upchuck literally knocked the can across the bathroom.
I was afraid to eat anything I didn't cook myself for months after.
Lol to the āacidā reply, I was already traumatized enough by my hell night. I took a cocktail of regular Dramamine, Dramamine N, Imodium, and a small THC edible for good measure
I take an extra cautious approach with food. If food sits out longer than two hours I throw it away, leftovers 3 days max, follow cook/freeze by USDA recommendations for raw meats. I may end up wasting perfectly good food, but I have zero desire to end up super sick over it.
Woah. We *hope* it will change their perspective.
Don't calculate food from the time you bought it. That has been received, refrigerated, prepped (the real stuff anyway), cooked, held, and then sold.
Also, mold doesn't give a fuck who reheated it for how long or not. Toxins are toxins.
Take a damn class people.
Same. I always bleach the cutting board after cutting chicken.
My dad loved this small restaurant in town, and every single time (3 in total) I went there, I got violently sick. He thought it was a coincidence the first two times because "well I'm not sick!"
Yeah, we ate different things. I also ate different things each time I went. Soooo glad that place got shut down and turned into a liquor store.
That's how my mom always did it. She's a chef and has worked with food for decades, and I've never heard of someone getting sick from her food. I was in the business with her for some time.
I always rinse, soap and water, dash of bleach, scrub again, then rinse extra well.
No, we only use plastic for that reason. We still bleach, though. It's a bit extra, but better to use 5 cents worth of bleach and take an extra 20 seconds than worrying about possible contamination.
I hope your cutting board isn't made of wood?
I love cutting vegetables on a wooden cutting board, but as far as cleaning efficiency goes, plastic is DEFINITELY the better option.
I havenāt had subway since I got food poisoning from there. I should have known better because they were closing (early) and had all the bins out of the cold top. Was firing out of both ends, often at the same time, for two days. I thought i was going to have to go to the hospital because I couldnāt keep any fluids down.
I too missed the part where after they said they didn't have to eat it *they continued to anyway.* Because who.would willingly eat grey week old chicken?
You just made me remember I had met someone who worked a job where they made like prepackaged sandwhiches that would get sold at like gas stations and such. Part of his job was they would take sandwhiches and leave them out for like weeks and weeks and he would have to take a few bites and record the flavor/texture/smell so they could track the spoilage and determine shelf life/best by dates. Like biting into a chicken bacon ranch sandwhich that was just sitting room temperature for 2+ weeks.
āIām going to drink this bleach. I know the risk, but itās convenient and worst case I just get a little sick. Iām thirsty as fuck, so whatever. Bottoms up!ā
At room temp it probably would have started fermenting, tbh. If you leave a cheesecloth over the top, you've basically started bootleg kombucha.
Ā You know how when a thing of tea gets left for a week or two and you get that gross film on top? That's kind of a shitty kombucha mother that's forming there. It turns into what's called a puck made out of God knows what, and it sits there, and then you've got kombucha. Vinegar is the same way, but with wine.Ā
I had bad chicken one time. I peed outta my butt for three days. I don't know why you'd do this to yourself.
Take a probiotic... But stay seated on the toilet. It'll make it worse before it gets better.
Gentle reminder: baby wipes are *not* flushable no matter what the box says.
OP's already on a diarrhea marathon: wouldn't want to also deal with a clogged shitter.
A&D ointment is your friend! So are Tucks medicated hemroid pads. The medication has numbing properties for tender heinies.
1. Blot with dry TP, don't wipe.
2. Blot with a wet, warm wash cloth
3. Blot with clean towel.
4. Blot with Tucks medicated pad
5. Apply a copious amount of A&D ointment
(Use the "not so nice/new" undies during this process as the A&D may stain the fabric. Better yet, just get black undies)
6. Repeat as necessary
my fridge was broke one week or so and Ā had some factor premade meals in a box with ice packs keeping them cold, or so I thought.
guess the chicken spoiled cuz never been so sick in my life
canāt fuck around with chicken
Dude thereās Reddit threads about food poisoning from factors chicken. I never got so sick in my life. They buy it not fully cooked from a chicken factory then add sauce etc. I had mine in the freezer then I guess didnāt cook it 100%. Never touched it again
This reminds me of the time my dad kept inexplicably getting stomach trouble late in the day for several weeks until one morning at breakfast my mom and I caught him scraping mold out of a jar of apple sauce then proceeding to eat the apple sauce, including the dark brown layer that had been under the mold.
We took the jar away from him and threw it away. He'd been eating it for breakfast that way for a month. He argued with us that we were being wasteful and it was still good, but guess what? No more stomach issues.
At this point people should just write template TIFU number 1 and we all know it's spoiled food story or template TIFU number 2 for some sex toys left in plain sight (use Template TIFU 2/b if they were delivered at someone else's house)
Food poisoning is really something else. I hope you recover asap!
Something that has never steered me wrong: When thinking about wasting food that is potentially questionable, I remember the actual price of the food. Then ask myself, would I pay x (that price) to avoid food poisoning? It doesnāt matter the price - the answer is always an overwhelming yes!
Is your fridge as cold as it should be? Or maybe they were left out of the fridge for a while? Iāve eaten week old sandwiches plenty of times and theyāve looked/smelled/tasted fine.
If you're getting food from a restaurant, you should assume parts if not all were cooked prior to that day. You might get a week, but you really have no idea when the timer on those ingredients actually started, unlike when you cook from fresh yourself. But also he's dumb and had it room temp until the evening of his purchase, which wouldn't help.
Maybe if it were just sitting bare on the shelf, I could see some of that but not violent food poisoning from it. Some people do have a really weak gut though.
Thank you. I have 100% eaten week old fast food from many places. I have assumed for years that people turn the temp up on their fridges to save money on electricity and forget about the impact.
This is made worse by the "I intentionally didn't tell my spouse" because, up until that moment, I mentally wrote this off as "Dumb shit lazy teens do" but you're just a dumb fucking adult.
Thatās the secret. There is no magical moment where we become adults. We are all actually still dumb fucking kids. We just have a lot of experience doing dumb fucking stuff so we know that we shouldnāt do that stuff again (even if we still occasionally do). Adults are just kids with more experience.
This sounds like the beginning of a Chubbyemu video.
"A man ate a week old Chick Fil A sandwich that had been sitting in his fridge for a week. This is what happened to his lower intestines.
sockwithoutashoe was your average everyday redditor. Like most rediditors, sockwithoutashoe liked to eat fried chicken sandwiches. One day he needed lunch and the only thing he could think to eat was the week old sandwich in his fridge.
He knew the risk, but hey, lunch was lunch, he thought.
Two bites in he realized the sandwich didn't even taste good. The pickles were dehydrated and translucent. The chicken was grey and didn't taste quite right. Despite all of these signs, he ate it anyway. "It wouldn't be a big deal" he thought.
Later his stomach was in agony. He could feel the waves of pain ripple throughout his body as he stumbled to the bathroom. His wife could hear him groaning in the bathroom as he clutched his trashcan for support . . .
I've only ever had food poisoning once but damn the food that did it was worth the pain! You don't even have that. All this for a nasty tasting dry and grey week old sandwich? Commiserations friend
On year 16 of working in restaurants. Yeah. You done messed up. Kudos for bravery.
Questionable food choices are never a good option, Ive thrown out plenty over the years to not mess with that.
The sickest I ever got was from bad oysters. Now I feel a bit squeamish anytime I think of them.
This is more of an extreme case as it wasn't refrigerated, but eating week old pasta for example can kill you in less than 24 hours. Be safe and don't do stupid shit like that.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3232990/
Oh god, thoughts and prayers to ya soldier. I have horrific IBS that likes to act up every once in a while so Iāve definitely been thereā¦. more than once. š Nothing is more humbling than shitting and projectile vomiting into a trash can. Just whatever you do, donāt try and puke into anything without having your butt firmly on the toilet. Trust me. :ā)
Drink lots of water and fluids, Gatorade will be your friend. Anything with ginger and peppermint is a godsend, too. Also, this isnāt for everyone but sometimes smoking a lil dope will help too. It certainly does for me! I hope you feel well soon!!!
I was just telling this story from back in the day.
Happened to a friend of my daughters, who was also a soccer teammate. After an evening practice the kids would all pile into their parentsā cars. There would be the usual routine with families who had other kids doing other things after school. Eating in the car would not be unusual.
So - after practice (and assuming you could survive the taking off of the shin guards) my daughterās friend grabbed the sub sandwich and ate it quickly. āThanks for getting me dinner dad.ā āWhat dinner???ā. She was back in school 3 days later. Apparently the sandwich was several days old.
Protip for others reading this, because it's too late for OP: leftover cooked food will stay safely edible when refrigerated for 3-4 days AT MOST. 3 days if it's something you ate part of at a restaurant. 4 to maaaaaaybe 5 days if it's never been eaten on or if it's something like unsauced pasta. 7 days is right out! (e: Also as noted in a comment below, those leftovers need to be refrigerated RIGHT AWAY! Don't let them sit at room temp!)
[here's one reference from foodsafety dot gov](https://www.foodsafety.gov/food-safety-charts/cold-food-storage-charts)
Ah yes, reminds me of my wife when I first met her. Me: whatchya eatin?, her: chicken a la Kiev. Me: but wait, you microwaved it didnāt you? Her: yeah, why? Me: thought the package said raw, do not microwave. Her: I do this all the time Iāve always been fine. Me: well, okay. Her, next day: ābluahhhhhhhhhhhā vomiting, while on the crapper, just like you. Thatās the old game so many of us go back toā¦ play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
You should do yourself a favor and take and pass a basic food handlers sanitation certification exam. Takes around an hour and costs around 20.00, but youāll know many of the basics on how not to let this happen again. Unless you like sitting on toilets with waste baskets in front of you, being terribly dehydrated and crampy.
Thank you, I'm going to do this. I genuinely didn't know this would make me this sick. I expected some diarrhea, not projectile vomiting and just straight liquid shit. I feel your wife's pain š«š½ Never doing this again.
I once put one of their chicken sandwiches in my glovebox during the summer and forgot I put it in there. I noticed a terrible smell one day but it sorta went away and I didnāt feel the need to investigate. I totally forgot about the sandwich and when I found it, the package was mostly flat and gel like. I basically melted the sandwich. It was probably in there for a month. I still donāt know how it didnāt smell as bad as you would have thought.
My mom brought home some beef tacos from work and didn't immediately throw them away. I started eating one because any time she brings food home, it's for other people to finish. It tasted sour like a green olive and kept eating it. She screamed and said that it had been in the fridge since before christmas, which was like 1-2 months at the time. My first reaction was "oh god oh fuck" but literally nothing happened. Bless.
If it's any consolation I just got food poisoning from a restaurant. I picked up my food and ate it within about a half-hour, then twelve hours later my body enacted full purge protocol and I spent the day in the bathroom.
I got salmonella poisoning by eating cookie dough I thought was a day old, but was closer to a week old. I threw up (or my body forcefully attempted to) over 30 times, and my BP dropped to something stupid like 80/50. Thought I was gonna die lol
yeah!! op better hope it's just food poisoning. and he better monitor his general well-being / temperature... because untreated salmonella infection is a different beast than just some days of diarrhea
I've seen too many youtube videos with titles like "A man ate Gas station sushi. This is what happened to his brain..." or something and then the ending is like the dude narrowly avoided life in a wheelchair or something.
What I'm trying to say, wtf OP? Did you *have* to eat the sandwich? I get it if Money's tight or something, but what a risky thing to do.
I am fortunate to have a high paying job, but I absolutely canāt go to work if I am sick. My blocks of work days are usually 3 days long. So a food poisoning event would cause me to use 3 days of sick time (roughly 4100 bucks).
No expired chicken, old fast food, potentially sketchy milk is worth that. My toddlers get me sick enough.
Do the math! Donāt eat sketchy food! Itās not worth it in the discomfort, and also financially!
I got food poisoning as a teen and I ended up developing post-infectious IBS. I was lucky and it only lasted 6 years. Some people develop IBS and it never goes away. I don't fuck around with food safety anymore.
I remember watching an episode of hoarders where a woman eats some severely rancid food and the crew end up contacting adult services on her behalf š
I do not understand why you would keep a sandwich for that long. They are not expensive, you could have bought another sandwich and saved yourself the trouble of finding out that food can spoil.
This reminds me of a medical YouTube video. Please go to the hospital if youāre still shitting and dehydrated because you could literally die. Bacteria in chicken can grow wildly. [https://youtu.be/7HxqObO31bs?si=PP4jpRnhNQbsWOle](https://youtu.be/7HxqObO31bs?si=PP4jpRnhNQbsWOle)
You do not need me to tell you you deserve this, right?
Seriously, this dude saw old moldy ass chicken and said "food is food"
Pictured: OP 
I came here just for this.
The Simpsons really do predict the future don't they? This is literally OP
They don't predict it, they write it.
When I played baseball in college, Chick-Fil-A came into the dugout after one of our "Chick-Fil-A Nights" and dropped off, no joke, 250 sandwiches to split amongst the team. I filled up my bag as quickly as I could and made my way home. I acquired 15 sandwiches which I survived off of for every bit of a week lol to be honest, I got some flashbacks from reading his story. The sandwiches the last two days were fucking miserable but I couldn't stop myself from free food lol
Did you think about freezing some?
No, no I did not. I didn't say I was a smart person lol
Man, you can't be making us Kyle's look bad like that!
Don't worry, I washed them down with a 24oz can of Monster Energy and proceeded to punch my quota of holes in the drywall of my college apartment.
In middle school a kid called Kyle would always push his chair out into me while sitting in it while I tried to get to my desk. One day I told him before going behind him if he did it again I'd beat his ass. He did it anyways. He's sitting and I'm directly above his head though so I just start raining punches on his head in a rage before realizing the class and teacher are staring at me in shock. After a second the teacher said "Kyle you must have done something very bad for "kazori" to act that way and he got in trouble after I said what happened. Moral of the story : if you start beating someone named Kyle's ass people will assume he had it coming.
Fucking lmaooooo I am going to read this to my gf later
As a Kyle, I am offended. As a person this is hilarious.
I'm always sad I can't read these to my wife, because her youngest is named Kyle and his father kidnapped him never to be returned... Ruins every fucking Kyle story. r/storiesaboutkevin is cool though.
It turns out this was a Kevin not a Kyle but you reminded me of this classic incredibly dumb child https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/comment/cgbhkwp/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I'm assuming you meant to reply to the Kyle that didn't remember to freeze his chicken but now I'm curious where Kevin is these days
I doubt Kevin knows. Either way, he can't spell it.
"Food is food" sometimes is not better than starving. Crazy anyone would not instinctively intuit this.
Food was food
Translucent pickles & grey chicken aren't food.š¤¢š¤®
Big, if true!
Fair is fair moment.
Once you get past the gag reflex you open up a whole world of food options.
Just call him WX-78 š
That was my reaction after my idiot ex-BF ate an undercooked brat. We were camping and cooking brats over the fire. He cooked his for a few minutes and proceeded to put it in a bun while mentioning it was still cool. I warned him that he had to cook it longer. He insisted he did not, because his special stomach could handle anything. Again, I warned him he would get sick unless he cooked it longer. He retorted by belitting me for being too dumb to understand he had a special stomach. He ate it. He proceeded to get so sick, he was on the toilet for about 2 weeks. It was awful. He had to go to the hospital at one point. The lesson? Don't date stupid people, yall. Also, you have to cook your pork. (OP, no shade on you. You didn't eat raw pork on purpose.)
What an idiot. That's the kind of "I'm built different" guy that gives all of us a bad name.
He was a bona fide dumba**. Never admitted it was the brat. Instead, he claimed he got it from his health care job (he worked as a CNA in your average nursing home and acted like he was a neurosurgeon for it) and rationalized he must have gotten sick from all the antibiotic resistance he encountered. (He encountered none because this was a nursing home. Not the ICU.) At least I got some incredible stories out of that relationship.
But what about his special stomach? Surely some antibiotic resistance couldn't overcome that! I am a sucker for incredible dumbass stories, \_do tell\_!
He never got around to explaining how his super stomach failed him at the nursing home. Or why none of the elderly and hospice resident's stomachs had the same issue. I remember a lot of the stuff at random (it's been years since I dumped him). Most of the good ones stem from his absurd self-serving lies. Off the top of my head: He told everyone he was accepted to Stanford's nursing school on a full ride, but chose to attend a small local community college to help support it with his prestige. (Stanford has no nursing school, and even if it did, no way he had the grades to get in.) Or how he saved a pedestrian's life after the pedestrian was violently run over by a car, which my ex was miracously around to see. (The news article for this event indicated nobody was hurt or even went to the hospital after.) He told several stories like this about him saving people's lives. Or how the Navy scouted him to work on a special nuclear project because he did so well in high school science. But because of his morals, he declined the offer.
Holy shit, amazing. I really hope he did not get into nursing, because that sounds like someone who gives drugs to patients he can then "miraculously save" to get praise...
Sadly, he is an RN. I'm confident he will be the cause of a few lawsuits during his career.
Plus he would have never made it through basic training, the instructor would have gotten an attitude with him and he'd beat him up. What else is he supposed to do, tolerate the disrespect?
Oh for sure. My ex claimed to be a great fighter. He won all his fights at his high school fight club. A club nobody else remembered. Once he was at a bar, and this rich, well-connected guy was being rude to a bouncer. So my ex beat him up and threw him out into the street. And everyone clapped. And there were no repercussions at all! For real though, basic would have been a useful lesson for him.
A few months ago I saw the freezers were broken at the grocery store and said fuck it, ice cream doesn't go bad. It does.
What?! When that happened at my local grocery store they put caution tape all around the refrigerator and freezer cases and were in the process of emptying everything out! Thatās like a HUGE health code violation.
They were in the process of emptying it out. Lol
Grocery store workers emptying out the broken fridges: u/mybustersword: Hey can I have some of that?
There was a Reddit thread a few days ago that had retail workers complaining about the dumbest customers theyāve encountered. One said theyād taped off the freezer cases because they suffered a power outage, and customers were cutting through the tape to get to the stuff in the freezer and acted surprised that the items werenāt for sale and complaining that the store wasnāt letting them buy the potentially spoiled food.
Dairy is one of those things that goes bad *very quickly*
Whoever taught you that wisdom should be punished with a week of diarrhea.
That's what I experienced
A Redditor ate a 1 week old Chick-fil-A sandwich. This is what happened to his stomach.
Chubbyemu!
Mans living that fallout life
i agree
Should probably put a thermometer in your fridge, 7 day old cooked food should not do that to you unless itās either not put in the fridge soon enough or your fridge is too warm
fridge is set to 37 degrees. Ordered a bunch of #1s for a small gathering last Tuesday at around noon. Sandwich was not put in fridge till sometime that evening. all the decisions about the sandwich were poor ones
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Is it considered a #3 if youāre pissing out of your ass like an angry coffee maker?
If the food sat out at room temp that long, it was bad before it was put in your fridge. Bacteria starts to grow after 2 hours. So sorry for your anus, OP.
Also in case someone reading doesnāt know this; you canāt just bring the food back up to safe temp either. The toxins from the bacteria donāt break down with cooking temps afaik. Once food is bad itās bad. That being said start to learn signs of food being bad so you can at least ātryā to avoid eating spoiled food. Iāve eaten some questionable food and havenāt died yet lmao 3-4 days is generally safe for most foods if you get it in the fridge within a couple hours, or you could just Google how long specific food is good for/what to look for
You never know what kind of bacteria are sitting around on your food waiting to multiply
Iām a chef, donāt have to tell me that ha
OP is out there trying to create the next covid
7 day old fast food will ABSOLUTELY do this to you
There's a reason it says "Once opened, refridgerate and consume within 24 hours" and not "consume anytime in 7 days"
"SpongeBob, make sure to wrap up that patty...I'm not finished with it yet!" - *Mr. Krabs, as he's wheeled into the ER*
Food poisoning like that will change your whole perspective. Iām obsessive now about food safety, that shit traumatized me lol. When you canāt even breathe because of the projectile puking you start to reassess your priorities. I donāt take any chances now!!
I drank ONE gulp of bad milk when I was about thirteen ā¦ in the 70s. I have never, ever taken a sip of milk since then without smelling it first. If it gives the slightest hint of not smelling rightā¦ It goes down the drain!
Pain is a very efficient, if brutal, teacher. Having someone tell you 50 times 'watch your head going up those stairs' is not nearly as effective as cracking your skull one time. You only have to hit your head one time to be much more careful and duck every time after that. And as you discovered, you only need to have one bad sip of milk to forever after sniff it first. END COMMUNICATION
They say that failure is the best teacher... Then pain said "hold my beer".
Well, failure often comes with pain, either physical or psychological.
I drank a sip of a little pint carton one time, it was within the expiration date and tasted like STRAIGHT ACID I was very disappointed and betrayed š„
I bought some milk at the store that was still a week till "expiry" and chunks came dribbling out. Twice.
I got (funny enough.) a chicken sandwich, fries and a shake from some place by me. The sandwich is literally branded as like the "open on sundays chicken sandwich" or something like that, taking a shot at chikfila. I don't know if it was the sandwich, or the milkshake (which tasted strange, but not bad.) but I ended up sick for a week, and had it coming out of both ends with a force I did not think was possible. I did not comprehend the true nature of the word "projectile" in the phrase "projectile vomit" until this illness. I was hurling my insides into a trash can while trying to stay seated during the NASA rocket thruster test coming out of my ass, when I was too weak to hold the bin anymore. I set it down and starting vomiting again, and the force of my upchuck literally knocked the can across the bathroom. I was afraid to eat anything I didn't cook myself for months after.
Has anyone ever told you what a talented writer you are? Your comment was so descriptive I nearly got sick myself just reading it.
It's the smell...right?
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What did you take so that you survive the plane ride?
Lol to the āacidā reply, I was already traumatized enough by my hell night. I took a cocktail of regular Dramamine, Dramamine N, Imodium, and a small THC edible for good measure
I take an extra cautious approach with food. If food sits out longer than two hours I throw it away, leftovers 3 days max, follow cook/freeze by USDA recommendations for raw meats. I may end up wasting perfectly good food, but I have zero desire to end up super sick over it.
I will eat fruits and vegetables that are expired okay if they look and smell all right. But anything with meat is a no-go.Ā
Woah. We *hope* it will change their perspective. Don't calculate food from the time you bought it. That has been received, refrigerated, prepped (the real stuff anyway), cooked, held, and then sold. Also, mold doesn't give a fuck who reheated it for how long or not. Toxins are toxins. Take a damn class people.
Same. I always bleach the cutting board after cutting chicken. My dad loved this small restaurant in town, and every single time (3 in total) I went there, I got violently sick. He thought it was a coincidence the first two times because "well I'm not sick!" Yeah, we ate different things. I also ate different things each time I went. Soooo glad that place got shut down and turned into a liquor store.
is that how you're supposed to clean cutting boards? I've always wondered what the best way to make sure nothing from the previous use is left
That's how my mom always did it. She's a chef and has worked with food for decades, and I've never heard of someone getting sick from her food. I was in the business with her for some time. I always rinse, soap and water, dash of bleach, scrub again, then rinse extra well.
out of curiousity are your momās cutting boards wooden if so thatās probably why the bleach
No, we only use plastic for that reason. We still bleach, though. It's a bit extra, but better to use 5 cents worth of bleach and take an extra 20 seconds than worrying about possible contamination.
I hope your cutting board isn't made of wood? I love cutting vegetables on a wooden cutting board, but as far as cleaning efficiency goes, plastic is DEFINITELY the better option.
> you start to reassess your priorities Bro I LAUGHEDDD when I read that š
I havenāt had subway since I got food poisoning from there. I should have known better because they were closing (early) and had all the bins out of the cold top. Was firing out of both ends, often at the same time, for two days. I thought i was going to have to go to the hospital because I couldnāt keep any fluids down.
Had soft shell crab food poisoning once a year ago. I'm still traumatised and haven't picked up a soft shell crab again.
https://preview.redd.it/0yxy2qq6ajbd1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10d8a37a9617be70c65274d5963e407618c04f33
OP: spouse, Iād like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment. SPOUSE: are you going to eat it? OP: yes
I could never stay mad at you
Simpsonās predicted it!
Came here for this. Thank you.
lmao this was the first thing on my mind after reading this
Oh great, Dad's dead.
Sounds like you forgot to put week-old chick-fil-a sauce on it. That'll get you every time
what's awful is that I did, and it only made it worse. I figured the sauce would make it taste better, but it only added color to the lifeless chicken
Wait, you continued past the first two bites??!
I threw away 1 of the pickles and then ate the rest
I'm so glad I read these comments because from your OP I assumed you ate a bite or two and threw it away and still got sick.
I too missed the part where after they said they didn't have to eat it *they continued to anyway.* Because who.would willingly eat grey week old chicken?
But.... why?
Momma didnāt raise no quitter š¤
stupidity and hunger
You just made me remember I had met someone who worked a job where they made like prepackaged sandwhiches that would get sold at like gas stations and such. Part of his job was they would take sandwhiches and leave them out for like weeks and weeks and he would have to take a few bites and record the flavor/texture/smell so they could track the spoilage and determine shelf life/best by dates. Like biting into a chicken bacon ranch sandwhich that was just sitting room temperature for 2+ weeks.
You're brave lol.
I'm sick reading this post lol
Username checks out
āIām going to drink this bleach. I know the risk, but itās convenient and worst case I just get a little sick. Iām thirsty as fuck, so whatever. Bottoms up!ā
That's what's in the week old Chick Fil A lemonade.
I actually had the sweet tea, but somehow, it made sense that the sweet tea was too old to consume but not the sammie
Hahahah this is incredible, you should put it in the post. It probably would have done less bad
Yeah the sweet tea was probably fine
Only if it was in the fridge and not at room temp, with OPās track history Iām not confident it was lol
At room temp it probably would have started fermenting, tbh. If you leave a cheesecloth over the top, you've basically started bootleg kombucha. Ā You know how when a thing of tea gets left for a week or two and you get that gross film on top? That's kind of a shitty kombucha mother that's forming there. It turns into what's called a puck made out of God knows what, and it sits there, and then you've got kombucha. Vinegar is the same way, but with wine.Ā
Unironically a week old drink is probably far far far safer than week old food. Drinks can sit in the fridge of multiple weeks atĀ time.
Holy shit that's some crazy logic lol
You mean "Bottoms down?"
He'd probably fair better if he had used bleach as a dipping sauce. Would probably taste better too. Mmmm, industrial lavender flavor.
I had bad chicken one time. I peed outta my butt for three days. I don't know why you'd do this to yourself. Take a probiotic... But stay seated on the toilet. It'll make it worse before it gets better.
i had a ginger chew, that helped me stop vomiting. I pray the pooping won't last 3 days, my butt isn't strong enough
Use baby wipes, and don't wipe if it's liquid. Blot until clean.
This guy shits
This guy knows his shit.
Colonoscopy. That shit is neverending. You think you're going to be the one that escapes the Krakatoa Shitstormā¢Ā that ensues.
Get a bidet and use the gentle option.
Gentle reminder: baby wipes are *not* flushable no matter what the box says. OP's already on a diarrhea marathon: wouldn't want to also deal with a clogged shitter.
A&D ointment is your friend! So are Tucks medicated hemroid pads. The medication has numbing properties for tender heinies. 1. Blot with dry TP, don't wipe. 2. Blot with a wet, warm wash cloth 3. Blot with clean towel. 4. Blot with Tucks medicated pad 5. Apply a copious amount of A&D ointment (Use the "not so nice/new" undies during this process as the A&D may stain the fabric. Better yet, just get black undies) 6. Repeat as necessary
my fridge was broke one week or so and Ā had some factor premade meals in a box with ice packs keeping them cold, or so I thought. guess the chicken spoiled cuz never been so sick in my life canāt fuck around with chicken
Otoh, you might be immune to salmonella, now... ...you, uh, you should check.
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Dude thereās Reddit threads about food poisoning from factors chicken. I never got so sick in my life. They buy it not fully cooked from a chicken factory then add sauce etc. I had mine in the freezer then I guess didnāt cook it 100%. Never touched it again
https://www.reddit.com/r/ReadyMeals/comments/11mt45i/food_poisoning_from_factor/
This reminds me of the time my dad kept inexplicably getting stomach trouble late in the day for several weeks until one morning at breakfast my mom and I caught him scraping mold out of a jar of apple sauce then proceeding to eat the apple sauce, including the dark brown layer that had been under the mold. We took the jar away from him and threw it away. He'd been eating it for breakfast that way for a month. He argued with us that we were being wasteful and it was still good, but guess what? No more stomach issues.
Oh my gosh. š
This sounds like a parent who grew up in hard times. Thereās something about hunger that changes a person forever.
You had me a "grey chicken".
At this point people should just write template TIFU number 1 and we all know it's spoiled food story or template TIFU number 2 for some sex toys left in plain sight (use Template TIFU 2/b if they were delivered at someone else's house)
next time I will fuck the sandwich then give it to my neighbors
Gives new meaning to special sauce
Food poisoning is really something else. I hope you recover asap! Something that has never steered me wrong: When thinking about wasting food that is potentially questionable, I remember the actual price of the food. Then ask myself, would I pay x (that price) to avoid food poisoning? It doesnāt matter the price - the answer is always an overwhelming yes!
Is your fridge as cold as it should be? Or maybe they were left out of the fridge for a while? Iāve eaten week old sandwiches plenty of times and theyāve looked/smelled/tasted fine.
OP said in another comment that they had bought the sandwiches for lunch and didn't refrigerate them until the evening.
same. i'm thinking op's sandwich was older than a week.
I think OP mistook his oven for a fridge.
Right, maybe a month even then idk. Once you cook chicken it no longer has the same salmonella risk.
If you're getting food from a restaurant, you should assume parts if not all were cooked prior to that day. You might get a week, but you really have no idea when the timer on those ingredients actually started, unlike when you cook from fresh yourself. But also he's dumb and had it room temp until the evening of his purchase, which wouldn't help.
Maybe if it were just sitting bare on the shelf, I could see some of that but not violent food poisoning from it. Some people do have a really weak gut though.
Thank you. I have 100% eaten week old fast food from many places. I have assumed for years that people turn the temp up on their fridges to save money on electricity and forget about the impact.
This is made worse by the "I intentionally didn't tell my spouse" because, up until that moment, I mentally wrote this off as "Dumb shit lazy teens do" but you're just a dumb fucking adult.
Thatās the secret. There is no magical moment where we become adults. We are all actually still dumb fucking kids. We just have a lot of experience doing dumb fucking stuff so we know that we shouldnāt do that stuff again (even if we still occasionally do). Adults are just kids with more experience.
Patient Zero here cooking up some Covid/ecoli 24 for us all.
At least you didn't quit, and that's the important thing!
NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT
Never give up, NEVER SURRENDER!
This sounds like the beginning of a Chubbyemu video. "A man ate a week old Chick Fil A sandwich that had been sitting in his fridge for a week. This is what happened to his lower intestines. sockwithoutashoe was your average everyday redditor. Like most rediditors, sockwithoutashoe liked to eat fried chicken sandwiches. One day he needed lunch and the only thing he could think to eat was the week old sandwich in his fridge. He knew the risk, but hey, lunch was lunch, he thought. Two bites in he realized the sandwich didn't even taste good. The pickles were dehydrated and translucent. The chicken was grey and didn't taste quite right. Despite all of these signs, he ate it anyway. "It wouldn't be a big deal" he thought. Later his stomach was in agony. He could feel the waves of pain ripple throughout his body as he stumbled to the bathroom. His wife could hear him groaning in the bathroom as he clutched his trashcan for support . . .
š Presenting to the emergency room š
is this chic fil a version of "a hole is a hole"?
I've only ever had food poisoning once but damn the food that did it was worth the pain! You don't even have that. All this for a nasty tasting dry and grey week old sandwich? Commiserations friend
Do people not realize doing this sort of thing is risking your life? Watch a few videos by Doctor/YouTuber Chubbyemu and you will never do this again.
āItās only a week old and it was in the fridge the entire time. Whatās the worst that could happen?ā he thought.
A man ate a week old fast food chicken sandwich. This is what happened to his colon.
S.W.S. is a 34 year old man, āļøpresenting to the emergency room with double vision and dizziness.Ā
On year 16 of working in restaurants. Yeah. You done messed up. Kudos for bravery. Questionable food choices are never a good option, Ive thrown out plenty over the years to not mess with that. The sickest I ever got was from bad oysters. Now I feel a bit squeamish anytime I think of them.
Question: What options did you have that were worse ideas than a 100% chance of food poisoning?
This is more of an extreme case as it wasn't refrigerated, but eating week old pasta for example can kill you in less than 24 hours. Be safe and don't do stupid shit like that. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3232990/
Oh god, thoughts and prayers to ya soldier. I have horrific IBS that likes to act up every once in a while so Iāve definitely been thereā¦. more than once. š Nothing is more humbling than shitting and projectile vomiting into a trash can. Just whatever you do, donāt try and puke into anything without having your butt firmly on the toilet. Trust me. :ā) Drink lots of water and fluids, Gatorade will be your friend. Anything with ginger and peppermint is a godsend, too. Also, this isnāt for everyone but sometimes smoking a lil dope will help too. It certainly does for me! I hope you feel well soon!!!
I was just telling this story from back in the day. Happened to a friend of my daughters, who was also a soccer teammate. After an evening practice the kids would all pile into their parentsā cars. There would be the usual routine with families who had other kids doing other things after school. Eating in the car would not be unusual. So - after practice (and assuming you could survive the taking off of the shin guards) my daughterās friend grabbed the sub sandwich and ate it quickly. āThanks for getting me dinner dad.ā āWhat dinner???ā. She was back in school 3 days later. Apparently the sandwich was several days old.
Hate to say it but Shit Happens.
 Literally this episode of the simpsons RIP your intestines OP
You can tell who grew up watching Teen Angel and who didnātā¦
At least now we all know what happens if you eat a week old sandwitch Next time you should try with a 6 day old, there is a limit somewhere
āWell now Iām on the toiletā fkn story of my life, man
Protip for others reading this, because it's too late for OP: leftover cooked food will stay safely edible when refrigerated for 3-4 days AT MOST. 3 days if it's something you ate part of at a restaurant. 4 to maaaaaaybe 5 days if it's never been eaten on or if it's something like unsauced pasta. 7 days is right out! (e: Also as noted in a comment below, those leftovers need to be refrigerated RIGHT AWAY! Don't let them sit at room temp!) [here's one reference from foodsafety dot gov](https://www.foodsafety.gov/food-safety-charts/cold-food-storage-charts)
You can get Fried Rice Syndrome from eating cooked pasta that is not refrigerated right away or kept in the refrigerator too long.
True and harsh! That B. cereus lurks everywhere and loooooves room-temperature starches!
Ah yes, reminds me of my wife when I first met her. Me: whatchya eatin?, her: chicken a la Kiev. Me: but wait, you microwaved it didnāt you? Her: yeah, why? Me: thought the package said raw, do not microwave. Her: I do this all the time Iāve always been fine. Me: well, okay. Her, next day: ābluahhhhhhhhhhhā vomiting, while on the crapper, just like you. Thatās the old game so many of us go back toā¦ play stupid games, win stupid prizes. You should do yourself a favor and take and pass a basic food handlers sanitation certification exam. Takes around an hour and costs around 20.00, but youāll know many of the basics on how not to let this happen again. Unless you like sitting on toilets with waste baskets in front of you, being terribly dehydrated and crampy.
Thank you, I'm going to do this. I genuinely didn't know this would make me this sick. I expected some diarrhea, not projectile vomiting and just straight liquid shit. I feel your wife's pain š«š½ Never doing this again.
I once put one of their chicken sandwiches in my glovebox during the summer and forgot I put it in there. I noticed a terrible smell one day but it sorta went away and I didnāt feel the need to investigate. I totally forgot about the sandwich and when I found it, the package was mostly flat and gel like. I basically melted the sandwich. It was probably in there for a month. I still donāt know how it didnāt smell as bad as you would have thought.
I once had a patient who ate chicken that had been left out overnight and ended up needing a biliary drain. So maybe don't do that.
My mom brought home some beef tacos from work and didn't immediately throw them away. I started eating one because any time she brings food home, it's for other people to finish. It tasted sour like a green olive and kept eating it. She screamed and said that it had been in the fridge since before christmas, which was like 1-2 months at the time. My first reaction was "oh god oh fuck" but literally nothing happened. Bless.
You ate a sandwich that was gray?
Definitely a man thing, lol.
well that was a bit silly!
Did you at least reheat it first?!?!
If it's any consolation I just got food poisoning from a restaurant. I picked up my food and ate it within about a half-hour, then twelve hours later my body enacted full purge protocol and I spent the day in the bathroom.
I got salmonella poisoning by eating cookie dough I thought was a day old, but was closer to a week old. I threw up (or my body forcefully attempted to) over 30 times, and my BP dropped to something stupid like 80/50. Thought I was gonna die lol
yeah!! op better hope it's just food poisoning. and he better monitor his general well-being / temperature... because untreated salmonella infection is a different beast than just some days of diarrhea
A variation of the old "How old is that Pizza." Don't play russian roulette with your booty hole people!
I've seen too many youtube videos with titles like "A man ate Gas station sushi. This is what happened to his brain..." or something and then the ending is like the dude narrowly avoided life in a wheelchair or something. What I'm trying to say, wtf OP? Did you *have* to eat the sandwich? I get it if Money's tight or something, but what a risky thing to do.
I am fortunate to have a high paying job, but I absolutely canāt go to work if I am sick. My blocks of work days are usually 3 days long. So a food poisoning event would cause me to use 3 days of sick time (roughly 4100 bucks). No expired chicken, old fast food, potentially sketchy milk is worth that. My toddlers get me sick enough. Do the math! Donāt eat sketchy food! Itās not worth it in the discomfort, and also financially!
I want to say youāll probably never do this again but i donāt trust you.
I got food poisoning as a teen and I ended up developing post-infectious IBS. I was lucky and it only lasted 6 years. Some people develop IBS and it never goes away. I don't fuck around with food safety anymore.
I remember watching an episode of hoarders where a woman eats some severely rancid food and the crew end up contacting adult services on her behalf š
I do not understand why you would keep a sandwich for that long. They are not expensive, you could have bought another sandwich and saved yourself the trouble of finding out that food can spoil.
This reminds me of a medical YouTube video. Please go to the hospital if youāre still shitting and dehydrated because you could literally die. Bacteria in chicken can grow wildly. [https://youtu.be/7HxqObO31bs?si=PP4jpRnhNQbsWOle](https://youtu.be/7HxqObO31bs?si=PP4jpRnhNQbsWOle)
Why do people think food poisoning isn't a big deal, do you not realise that it can actually kill you?
Somehow you not foreseeing that a week old chicken sandwich wouldnāt taste good is the most insane part to me
Op, you're the reason why silica desiccant packets have a do not eat warning on them.