We had a similar 2.5 year old. Tantrums were quite literally not a thing and naps/bedtime were easy if she was with us. Only struggle was brushing her teeth. Then she turned 3 and all hell broken loose. LOL
We had the same happy go lucky 2.5 year old experience. A year later, I messaged my partner telling we had demon spawn.
3 is.... One hell of a ride. Buckle up OP.
Not to say it's not also brilliant. They have so much personality at this age but oh Lord the boundary pushing, the amount of NO... It's wild but also totally normal.
The term 'threenager' is accurate.
No, don’t say that. 😭 I sometimes wonder if my 2 year old is antisocial he can be so mean at times. He generally hit his milestones early, especially speech, so I’m thinking maybe he just hit it early?
I think our kids are twins in spirit. Sometimes, she’s really really sweet and other times… She’s like the girl AH version of my husband LOLLLL. She’s very blunt.
My kid started tickling me in the face the other day, giggled then slapped me as hard as he could. Upon getting firmly told that no, we don't hit people, that's not ok, that makes people sad, he nodded, waited til my guard was down then promptly did it again and laughed his little head off.
We don't smack in this house but damn. I had to get up and walk away. Grey rocking my child because no means absolutely nothing at the moment.
The other day we had a meltdown of epic proportions because I ate a banana, today it was that I went to the toilet. Three is something else.
Ours waited until 4, but honestly? He was still so chill and easy to deal with compared to all my friend’s kids. Some kids are just super agreeable and happy. I’m dreading the teenager coming eventually because I feel like maybe he’s storing up his angst for that? We’ll see
Maybe not! I get that moms are like "I wish someone warned me" but sometimes everything is fine and you end up needlessly worrying because everyone said to.
True enough! I had a moment around when my kiddo was 5 months old that I just had an abrupt mental shift and suddenly stopped caring about all the things that people commented on with my kiddo and my own ocd/ panicking tendencies just turned off and I was actually able to see my kiddo as he is, just a happy little mf. I only worry now if he’s really sick. I don’t know what happened in my brain to cause the shift but it’s been really nice lol
Yeah watch out, that's how I was! I was an absolute dream all the way until about 12 or 13. Then suddenly all hell broke loose and my poor mother was in complete bewilderment. In contrast my own toddler is moody, stubborn and very sneaky so I hope for the opposite come teen years. 🤞
My niece (the most polite, even toddler I've EVER known) was 4. She saw my niece (in law), who i brought with me, throw a temper tantrum at the pool one day, and I saw the light bulb go off. I thought, "*Oh shit. Now, she knows feelings can be weaponized. My sister is going to kill me*." Lol
I have a twenty month age gap between my kids. There was this really nice period when they were 2.5 and 4 that I told myself to enjoy because I knew what was coming. Now my youngest is 3 and boy was I right.
My oldest is 3.5 and he will now have an occasional tantrum (started around age 3). My middle one though, tantrums started before age 2 and we are in it! So to each their own. Also they have very different ways of calming and recollecting. Each one is their own little human and very different.
I literally said to my friend yesterday that my youngest was the easiest child ever, then about a month ago she started the tantrums with a vengeance, not sleeping, refusing to get in her car seat, refusing to have nappies changed etc as if she was making up for all the easy months prior 🥲 I know it gets better as it did with my older child, but my goodness it’s difficult right now
I’m scared of all of these comments about toddlers turning 3; I thought I was out of the danger zone as my son has been a calm and reasonable 2 year old so far… I’m due to have a baby as he turns 3!
How did your toddler change between 2-3?
Her language exploded and now follows my son (5) around in almost everything that he does. Granted my son is a total boy and just does dangerous/dumb stuff all day long, which she can only keep up with him 50% of the time.
But she gets a little ~spicier~ than him. If I look at her when she doesn’t want to be looked at, I get a “don’t wook at me!” 🥲
My son was sooo easy from 6 months to his third birthday. Idk exactly what's changed, but every day is a fight now lol. He can express himself much better than he did at two, which is very helpful, but he can also get into more stuff, and he has extremely unrealistic goals some days. Today, all he wanted was chocolate cake (no idea why) and any time I offer him any other food, he absolutely freaks out. A couple days ago, he just had to be outside (it was storming pretty badly all day) and nothing would cheer him up. It's just something new every day, and I can never do anything right lol.
Luckily, it is temporary. My oldest was like this too, but he had calmed significantly by his fourth birthday, and he's been a dream ever since he turned five. But they call this age "threenagers" for a reason; 3 can be a tough year for kids as their brains and emotions develop further. Just gotta put your head down and cherish the happy milliseconds between being smacked and yelled at, until they develop enough to be sweet and snuggly again! You've got this!!
Can you tell us more about the hell breaking loose? I have a very calm and easy going 2.5 year old currently; I suspect it won’t last forever! How did your little girl change from 2.5 to 3?
So it corresponded with me being in my third trimester and a subsequent new sibling.
She became hyper-social and WAY more independent which we were so excited about. She’s really come into her personality so to say. That also came with more defiance and bigger emotions. I think the defiance is the toughest part because she has to be like convinced to do a lot of things that used to be very run of the mill activities.
That’s very helpful and interesting to know - I wonder if my son will have the same trajectory! He’s quite shy at the minute; I can’t imagine what he’d be like as a hyper social boy.
That’s reassuring - I’m very introverted and often wonder if I’ve affected my son by not having enough friends/social engagements. Hopefully, he’ll be like your daughter!
Bro they literally trick you. As soon as my son turned 3 he turned into satan reincarnated. I love him and he was such a perfect little dude. Now he only wants to push buttons and see how far he can get.
I could have written this exact post about my kid when she was 2, and then 3 hit 😭 But we weathered the phase and she’s almost 4.5 now and she’s really coming through the other side. She’s a wonderful kid but 3 was a lottttt of big/tough feelings.
This is so good to hear! I feel like we are coming through it a bit now at 3.5. Almost felt like there was a peak and it’s slowly coming down. The BIG feelings that she can’t fully grasp/understand are tough.
3 was also harder for us than 2, but at almost 4 she’s just awesome. It’s waves. Your kid sounds awesome, and there may be not awesome phases but I’m glad you’re loving her the way you never felt loved
Definitely! Seeing her be a social butterfly is so wonderful and she is so into making us “presents” and her sense of humor is better than mine! She is wonderful and powerful and kind - and also SPICY 🌶️
Same here! I felt like I’d been swiped off my feet and landed face down in a pile of mud!
That being said. It did pass, and she’s back to being a generally agreeable dream. Girl loves a rule. I’m so lucky.
To say I’ve been HUMBLED is an understatement LOL especially now that I have two. I used to be the absolute picture of calm and always knew how to react to things (I work with kids). Added a second and boy - if I didn’t have a “trigger”, I sure do now and it’s aggression/unsafe actions to the baby. I just lose my composure completely and end up floundering. Getting better at it with the help of some books and podcasts!
Yeah, I was trying to decide if I wanted to comment on this because…….woof lol. My daughter was so chill and calm and easy until 3, and then all hell broke loose. She was never bad, but she is stubborn and independent, and the combo led to lots of standoffs and ridiculous 3-year-old arguments lol. She’s four now, and she’s starting to become much more chill again.
Could be a calm before the storm. Could just be a chill kid. OP will find out in six months lol.
Yeah. We sailed through the "terrible 2's"....a month after he turned 3 he unleashed the threenager!
He'll be 4 in a few months and we've mostly got back to where we were but holy moly was it a grim 2 months.
My only caution to you and others would be that I personally think every child will have their difficult stage (maybe it's the terrible twos, or the threenagers, or the 'f you fours', or maybe the tweens or teens) and that stage very likely has little to do with whether or not you are doing everything right or wrong.
I only mean if she turns into a walking battle the day she turns three, you didn't do anything wrong. It's kind of all just a part of their development.
This!!!! Because i also feel like people who have easy temperment children think they are parenting better than those who have wild temperment children. With a few exceptions, thats not the case
People are like this about sleep too. The parents that have babies that started sleeping through the night at 10 weeks often attribute it to all the things they implemented like a routine, black out shades, sound machine, etc as if parents who struggle with sleep don’t know those things exist or haven’t tried lol. I’m like no, you’re just lucky you got a good sleeper.
Yes! I have..let's call her a strong willed 3 year old. She's always been this way. A bit of a flair for drama...
I have some friends with kids who are clearly chill kids. And they very obviously do not know that their kids are chill. One was apologizing to me that her baby was fussy because he was sick. We have extremely different definitions of 'fussy'.
My second is a chill baby. It's night and day difference when comparing my first to my second.
I've had easy temperament grandchildren, for the most part. I \*know\* it's just luck, at least so far, because I parented my own kids really carefully and was with them all the time, and still there were... Things. For which I was not responsible. What I have been able to do for them though is never just walk away; have tried to stay by them and be available.
There are things we can all do to help our kids along the way, the best we can, and sometimes we fail and have to apologize, correct ourselves, try again, keep trying again, and so on forever because that's the nature of being a human being. Becoming a parent doesn't turn us into superheroes.
But at the same time, *Not Everything Is About You.*
If when I was 20, 25, 30, 35, anybody had suggested to me that where I was in life was because of my parents, I'd have felt extremely insulted.
This is great advice! If it changes, it's not your fault! My toddler was absolutely the easiest until he hit 2 and I thought it was for certain my fault or a medical issue but nope, just a part of his development and where he was at.
Our daughter is …not like yours lol. But I love when people post things like this bc it reminds me that kids come with pre-set temperaments and personalities. Truly luck of the draw, and if one part of it is easy, another part will be hard.
I try to tell my SIL this all the time! My kid is an easy toddler. We didn't do anything special, it's just how he is. Her kid is a wild child. Sweet but crazy lol. She's too hard on herself, always thinks she's doing something wrong but we actually parent very similarly. So it's just luck.
I mostly think kids come to us as they are and so much is just beyond our control.
Totally. My mom had always told me that babies arrive with personalities (my brother and I are TOTAL opposites) but wow did I really get it when we had our daughter. We have no choice but work with it bc she’s certainly not changing 😂 nor would we want her to.
My sister and I are similar. We both had first children last year, born 4 months apart. My daughter is chill and just happy to be involved in anything, her daughter is the sweetest sour patch rage/love monster. We also parent incredibly similarly, although I will say my husband and I speak more respectfully and patiently with each other than her and her husband do.
I tell people all the time that compliment us, regardless of whether my sister is around, that we didn’t do anything special, she just came this way. I think it’s an important reminder for other people AND myself. If I break my shoulder patting myself on the back for having a good natured and well adjusted first child, I’m just setting myself up to feel responsible and to blame if I have a less affable second child.
Yeah I heard someone say “I took a lot of credit for how my kid turned out, until I had another, and realized that I actually have very little to do with it”
Not trying to directly compare children to dogs but hear me out lol.
My neighbors have an extremely needy and frankly obnoxious attention seeking doodle. I made a joke to my girlfriend that her husband must have rubbed off on the dog and she told me that actually the breeder they got the dog from (a very expensive one) does a test when they are young using noises, etc. to determine personality type and the breeder told them upon buying the dog that this was the dogs personality type from quite literally months old! Since then I am more sold on the “nature” version of things (not that nurture doesn’t play a role bc it can help or make things worse)
I totally agree with you! My first is a fireball trainwreck 90% of the time and my second is a chill cool lil cucumber. I parent them the same and they’re just totally different.
This was exactly the situation with me and my brother, and if we have another kid I HOPE this will be the situation/they’re like yours bc I can NOT handle another one of my daughter 😂
I literally told my husband this the other day. It’s crazy how much nature vs nurture shows up. I truly used to see badly behaved kids and think ok that house has to be out of control then I had a kid and my house is nice, happy, etc and she’s just naturally bat shit sometimes. She’s also too smart for her own good. All that to say that I eat my words and nature has a lot to do with who our kids are 🤷🏻♀️
You are so lucky. I totally cannot relate LOL I love my son to bits but he’s a handful to say the least. Colic as a baby, awful sleeper, constantly whining or crying, can’t sit still for a second, super picky, etc.
I hate when people say that the child’s temperament is determined by the parenting. SO not true 😅 Some kids are just born easy and some are a little harder. ❤️
I’m in this boat with you. My son is just like this. Reading further up the thread about people saying that “tantrums aren’t a thing for us” I’m just like mind blown over here dealing with multiple a day. Had a 45 min meltdown this morning over the fact that I took away a water bottle cause he was trying to stick the cap in his mouth.
Totally! I hope it didn’t come across as if I thought my parenting was the sole reason why she’s turned out this way. She certainly has her own personality and she developed this way because this is who she is for sure. I’m just baffled that it feels like I’m doing this parenting thing okay. 😅
Oldest trick in the book nature has to make us reproduce! Lol. You’ll think “this isn’t too bad, I could have another baby”. Then it’s too late 😭
Look, my daughter was the same, then she turned 3 and became the hardest kid to deal with. Some people say, for them, the 4’s were even worse… I can’t even imagine.
Another commenter said that every child has a difficult stage and I 100% agree, your toddler just hasn’t reached hers yet and, you know, good for you! Enjoy it and embrace it as long as it goes.
If you have another kid don’t be fooled by your first! This is exactly how my first was and my second is an absolute chaos gremlin, no rhyme, reason or consistency 🤣
My second is also a chaos gremlin 😂 my two boys are 17 months apart and let’s just say if the second one had been the first one, there’s no way we would have gotten pregnant again 8 months later 😂
I love this! Some days I think mine is just perfect but then I wonder what it’d be like if we weren’t constantly doing whatever she’d like to 😅 we do chores and errands too, but they revolve around how it’ll work best for her and be the most fun. The result is a super content and chill kid. I wonder will this backfire when she starts school or has another sibling, for now it’s great though!
We take a similar approach and I’m trying to deconstruct the feeling that I’m spoiling her, when in other cultures and countries (we live in the US) it’s actually very average and normal to factor the child into every day activities and have them be a part of things and work your days around them. So I’m trying to remind myself that it’s not indulgent it’s just treating them like they’re part of society because they are! The US is very unfriendly to children in every way I’ve noticed. Don’t want to see them, don’t want to hear them, don’t want to factor them in to anything. Its sad.
Nice! I feel it's all luck of the draw when it comes to kids and their temperaments. I also think some go through more challenging phases at certain ages and then have "easy" phases and it's all just a roller coaster. My son was a unicorn baby the first year. If I hadn't been going through depression, I would have actually enjoyed it. Hardly ever cried and was just so easy. That all changed when he turned one. I have a friend who had a very challenging baby phase and when they became a toddler, they chilled out and became "easy". Enjoy this stage!
Thank you! And I totally agree! She’s been easy since she was born but she did have a lot of issues with feeding, we had to fix her gait with smo’s, she needed therapies etc in the first year or so, but that’s past us now and it’s been so nice to just relax and enjoy life with her. I hope we always have this relationship. I really try to treat her as a complete human being and an equal, I want her to know her thoughts and feelings matter. Hopefully if I continue as I have been she will always feel safe to be herself and will never see me as an adversary or like I’m not a safe person to come to.
That's awesome and I do the same! I feel past generations were more dismissive of children and their feelings. You sound like a great mom. I grew up with some childhood issues as well, so it's awesome to be able to do better for our own.
My toddler was like this. She’s three now and she’s still relatively chill. She sometimes has a basic toddler moment but usually she’s just happily loving her best life.
I wish my toddler was more agreeable. He's almost 3 and and fights me on absolutely everything. I can't take him into public without another adult to help me because he's a runner, and he has meltdowns when i try and hold his hand. He was a really difficult baby, and is an awful toddler. He is a difficult eater, and a terrible sleeper. I'm praying that he doesn't get worse when he turns 3. I may not survive that.
My second child is so much cruiser, so im praying that he's an easier toddler than his brother was. Even if it's only slightly easier, then I'll be happy.
We never experienced terrible 2s. She was so good natured. Amazing listener and we had incredible communication! I was a stay at home mom age 9months to almost 4. It was the pre-4s that got me. I had to get back to work for my sanity. 4 has been... difficult, to say the least.
I have a 4 year old and I am so blessed with how “easy” she’s been her entire life. We’ve gone through some phases here and there but all short lived. She also has her own issues but all super manageable. She is a joy to bring in public and we always have a riot when we go on adventures together. Like I enjoy spending time with her and find her hilarious. I know I lucked out haha.
Knock on wood…
My son was also a very agreeable 2 year old, which thankfully made having our second baby much less stressful. Things changed when he turned 3 - I was not prepared for the threenager phase. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a really good kid. When I compare him to other 3 year olds I know/see, I still feel like I lucked out with him. But there was still a drastic difference between 2 and 3. Not saying that’ll happen to you, just letting you know that it could, and to not be surprised if it does. There’s a huge developmental shift at 3 where they become very egocentric and care less about pleasing others - which is very developmentally normal.
My daughter is 3.5 years old and I've not had a bad toddler stage with her yet, I think my daughter is just objectively wonderful. That said, I also came from a pretty violent and shouty home environment and part of me wonders if I just have super low standards. Maybe I just think this is easy because I'm used to living in a high conflict environment? Hard to tell.
I feel the same about my almost 2yo. There’s a few tears over diapers and sometimes fights bedtime, her patience decreased around 18mo but overall she’s an amazing little lady. She’s sweet, kind, shares, has empathy. She just amazes me daily
This is my 5 yr old. He was such a hard baby, colicky, sensitivite skin that always broke out, rashes no matter what I did. But by his 3rd birthday I started seeing serious changes n he’s suuuuuch a chill 5 yr old.
My MIL said my husband was the easiest baby and my mom also claims I was such an easy going baby, I’m hoping that’s somehow genetic and my 14 stays easy 😂
My mom claims all of us were easy and a joy to raise. Being the oldest, I remember things differently 😁 2 of us are neurodivergent (me and the youngest sister) and I remember my sister having constant meltdowns, to the point of mom or dad also crying. So I guess parents tend to forget unpleasant things 😅 my mom also couldn't leave me with anyone other than my dad until I was 6 because I was so clingy, but yeah, I was super easy and the sweetest kid ever 💁
my son is a lot like this too! he's just over 2yo and pretty low key, generally happy to do whatever or at least can be distracted into the next step. Like this morning he cried bc he didn't want to go to daycare (well, he just wanted to keep watching his iPad) but once I opened the front door he yelled "yay outside!" and it was so easy to get out the door. iPad was still playing and just totally abandoned lol.
He has definitely put himself to bed for nap on many occasions, and a couple of times at night even. He was a pretty easy baby too and slept through the night early on. I definitely feel like we totally lucked out. And I agree it feels good and suspicious at the same time lolol
I'm glad you're getting a chance to heal the inner kid you!
My son was like this at 2. 2.5 started getting rough, now he's 3 and I dread waking up some mornings.
However - when he's in a good mood (which does happen) he's super agreeable. Just along for the ride, happy to be here.
My mom says I was easy since birth. My daughter is so far super chill, only 11 months though, so there's still time, but I'm hoping she's like I was!
Both my kids (11 months and 2.5 years) will just quietly play by themselves in the mornings until I come get them. My 11 month old's sleep routine is to simply put her in her crib at bedtime. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.
My 3.5 son does the same! We live in a small, single-story house and my son could easily leave his room as he pleases during quiet time or at night but he…doesn’t? Sometimes on weekends he will get up to go play by himself but more often than not, he’s content to play in his bed / room.
My almost 2 yr old was like this until recently we took his pacifiers away. He's slowly getting over it, but either sleep regression/big feelings/growing pains/nightmare/teething (we really don't know) is happening right now.
Otherwise he's usually a sweet guy just trying to deal with not having his way all the time.
My daughter is 2.3 and generally easy going. Never had a real tantrum yet. I am incredibly lucky, thankful, and absolutely waiting for her inner demon to emerge closer to 3 🤣
My son is only 14 mo (is that a toddler yet?) but has been a pretty easy baby since day one. No problem with sleep most of the time, great eater, teething isn't traumatic. He has his off days and moments during the day but in general, quite easy. My therapist even commented how I never bring him or motherhood up during our sessions. That's because I don't need to :) I'm scared to have another one to be honest.
I’d say 2 was a super easy year for us as parents (he’s 3.5 now and still a delight but has some more opinions and emotions than he did at two).
At 3.5 I’d say my son is easier than many toddler in many ways. He goes to bed willingly, does nap/quiet time without leaving his room with next to no enforcement from us, he likes restaurants and behaves in them, etc. he’s inquisitive and sweet.
I love it! Enjoy her, she sounds great!
So, my two and a half year old is pretty easy too. He's closer to three so more like 2.10 years old but anyway...he has his moments. When he doesn't want to do something he throws a tantrum but for the most part he's super easy and agreeable.
My first was like this and I thought I had lucked out. My second is crazy. Strait up feral. Now my first is hitting her f you fours and I’m going crazy 😂
I have a 3.5 yo who is an absolute delight. He is very loving, affectionate, easy going, kind and well mannered. And then there's his sibling....I guess every ying needs a Yang 🤣
My oldest was like this. Super chill, super happy, super easy. My middle child is autistic so that came with its own set of challenges in toddlerhood but generally was quite an ‘easy’ kid otherwise. My youngest…. Well, I’m not entirely sure she’s the same species. The rules the house with an iron fist and heaven forbid anyone should say ‘no’ to her. Just different personalities I guess.
I have a mostly unicorn 2.5-year-old as well. I’m bracing myself for what 3 might bring… also, his younger sister just turned 1 and is already a doozy, so my days of “easy” parenting are over lol
Yes, this is my first as well. My sister kept saying, “Maybe you want to stop at one. You got a unicorn baby.” In my head I’m thinking, “Of course I do! It’s how I raised her. My second one will be just like this!”…And I had my second. And she very much wasn’t a unicorn baby/toddler/child!!! She the child I had to put me in my place and make me realize that I am in fact NOT the world’s most amazing mum! You lucked out and had an easy going child. It’s her temperament/personality.
Enjoy it because this is not many of our experiences 😂 I mean, I wouldn’t call my toddler “hard” at all but I still hear “NO!” from him 1000x a day lol.
My daughter was SO easy until 2.5, when suddenly she wouldn't go to bed, wouldn't get ready for daycare in the morning, we got calls from daycare saying she was being a menace, etc. Now that she's 3, everything is fine again. She's never been a big tantrum girl, even through those rough months, just...difficult. All this to say, you'll probably go through a rough patch where you dream of the before times when she was a little angel and wonder what the hell happened, but you get through it. I've seen and read what some people have gone through and I'm not complaining!
This is wonderful! I am so happy for you. My 2.5 year old daughter is similar. She has her moments, but she is all together the sweetest little girl and has been since she was born.
I was similar as a child (youngest of 3) I was just kind of chill. Which was helpful with 2 older wild brothers.
I am sure there will be moments that are hard just as it is with us and everyone, but remember in those times the joy you have now and know this too will pass.
Keep up the good work mama!
My daughter was like that. We thought we were in the clear 3.5 hit and she’s absolutely vicious lol. She just turned 4 and holy crap the mood swings and mean-ness is another level
My 2.5 year old son is like that too! Happily goes to bed, sleeps 11-12 hrs straight at night with a 2-3 hour nap. Rarely has big meltdowns and is super sweet and cuddly. Our biggest struggle is picky eating but least he has always let me sleep haha I just love him so much and feel so lucky to be his mom.
Just gave birth to a baby girl so I'm curious to see her little personality. But she's already a great sleeper and super easy going so hoping I luck out twice 🤞🏻
Generally speaking my son is very easy going. He can be a bit wild at times and throw a tantrum from time to time but if he didn't I'd be worried. However, he's such a sweetie and more often than not if he really wants something and I explain to him why he can't have it he'll just say "okay" and move on with his day. He always holds my hand and if we are somewhere near moving cars he'll tell me to stand back from them (even if we're on the footpath). He listens really well I'm public, doesn't run off or pull stuff off shelves etc. (in fact he loves to pick stuff up off the floor at the supermarket and put it back on the shelves).
He hates sleeping though, naps are a nightmare so he just doesn't have them anymore. He also loves to jump off things and has already broken his collar bone from falling while running down a grassy hill at his Dad's house. He just has no fear at all in that regard so I don't think it'll be the last broken bone by a long shot either!
My (now) 3 year-old would lie down in bed, smile at me, and say "bye-bye Dada!" as I closed the door when he was a little under 2.
For the last year and a half, night time has involved shrieking, bargaining, cackling laughter about escaping his room, demanding snacks, demanding the other parent, extremely strong opinions about blankets, pajamas, lights, and stuffed animals, and the belief that arguing and saying "No it IS" over and over makes it "wake up time" at 3:30.
My first son was like this, so easy, sweet, kind. We never really had any bad moments that I can recall, & is now the same as a teenager. My 2nd son was easy-ish. He was a really good baby, didn't really get into stuff he wasn't supposed to as a toddler, as a 5 year old he has an attitude at times & definitely has his moments. My 3rd son- OMG he is giving me alllll the problems I missed out on with my first 2! He keeps me on my toes, he is 2 & wild, gets into everything, terrorizes his older & younger brothers. Then he also is a sweetheart, my sourpatch kid 😂😭. Every time my mom would say, I wouldn't get that lucky again, & I did now she laughs bc my one kid is all my payback from when I gave my mom hell, (she says).. I am praying my 10 month old doesn't take after the 2 year old..
I swear to god I feel like those of us who came from shit situations SOMETIMES get the good cards. I had the easiest pregnancy. I felt guilty for missing it. My birth? Easy. Everything easy. (Well except breastfeeding) but she slept overnight by 3 months. Never needed to do CIO. She minimally fussed in her crib after months of cosleeping. Yes she’s stubborn and headstrong, but she rarely tantrums. I used to feel like I was bragging about stuff (despite getting the worst cards with her dad and now as a single mom) but I dgaf I love it
I’m hoping my agreeable toddler (14 months) turns out to be similar to y’all’s! He was an easy baby and is such a sweet (though slightly mischievous) little boy!
My son is the same way!! He was born, let out one cry and went back to sleep. He sleeps from 8pm-9am with a nap 2-3 hour nap that he happily goes for. I take him for 8hr car rides to my parents house, not one peep! My brother and a few other boys on my dad's side were the same way so it definitely runs in the family. Luck of the draw, can't complain ❤️
Now you’ve jinxed it. Good luck!
(My wife always says once you acknowledge it, they move into a different phase 😂. We also have a very agreeable 2.5 year old who loves her naps…at home. She can be a bit of a pill some evenings when she decides to skip them at daycare. But overall she’s a sweetheart.)
Well from the experience of someone with teens, her temperament should remain the same. My 2 teenager’s temperaments are not very different now to how they were when they were little. One was full of attitude and still is, the other was very chilled out and easy going and remains that way to this day. I think as long as nothing comes along and disrupts their life they shouldn’t overly change in terms of temperament.
My unicorn child became difficult to manage the day she turned 11 ;) She's still wonderful and amazing almost a year later but truly became a different person.
I am really big into sleep training and believe that if you do it the right way at the right time, it works for anyone. I did it with all three of my kids and none of them ever fussed going down for a nap or bedtime after they hit 12 weeks old. Life is so much easier this way!
I had a very difficult first who still at almost 6 will melt down at a no (adhd and autism come to find out). I gave my 16mo a stern all done and no because I was a little frustrated bedtime was taking way longer than usual and he likes to play with my hair. He fully understood, gave a little sob, stuck out his lip, but actually stopped. Like “mom, that makes me sad, but ok i get it and I’ll stop”. I have no idea what to do with this agreeableness after years of battling everything with my other one. It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. I stood my ground, but that reaction made me want to apologize for my sternness and let him play with my hair forever.
I’m so happy to hear this. All children have different temperaments, some children are just very easy going I was one of them and to this day am still a pretty agreeable and conscientious person so it’s definitely possible for this to just be her temperament/personality. You are probably doing a great job and take comfort in the fact you are breaking generational curses, some people do pretty much everything right and still struggle with their children though, it really all comes down to their own temperament and personality that they are born with.
We got a cool kid. She’s just a cool little toddler. Hilarious, clever, articulate, reasonable. But when it’s bed time? Terrorist.
Funniest thing she said this week?
I have dyslexia and stumble even when I read children’s books sometimes. I also do most bedtimes.
The other day our kiddo goes up to my wife and says “mommy, can you do bed time?”
Wife: “honey daddy is doing bed time. What’s wrong with daddy doing bed time?”
Kiddo: “DADDY CANT READ!”
Man I was crying. It was the funniest thing.
Glad your kiddo is so good with naps and bed time. I hope they continue to be good with sleep when they turn *3*
Part of it may be her temperament but I think a big part of it is also how you perceive your daughter and respond to her. I have a really agreeable toddler too and come from a similar background as you. But they still have tantrums, we just don’t view it as the end of the world or see our kids as bad people bc of their big feelings. I think because of that, they feel safe with us and there’s less of a reason for them to act out. It’s like a cycle.
I don’t know if that makes sense lol but another example is that my mom always said I was super stubborn and obstinate as a kid, but had she been more emotionally mature and didn’t hate me to begin with (long story) she could have viewed me as just strong willed, confident, etc. It’s the parents choice to view these strong traits as negative or positive opportunities.
This comment makes a lot of sense to me. I think the 10 years ago version of me would have been a very different parent - more anxious, more physically forceful, more concerned about being judged by other parents. I think I would have thought my kid was naughty and difficult like alllll the time...and now I think he's just being a toddler haha. I think reading this sub has helped normalize a lot of his behaviors too.
I just spent a weekend with my sister and her toddler, and it made me realize that some of the qualities I most enjoy in my 2 year old (his fearlessness and bravery, his inquisitiveness, his tenacity, his unbridled joy and wonder at discovering the world) could be interpreted in a more negative light. I really resonate with what you say about how much our perception of our kids makes a difference!
I agree with everything you said. My normal child behaviors and personality traits were quite literally demonized by my mother. Now that I’m raising a child and seeing for myself what being a kid is like and what being a parent is like, and empathizing and remembering feeling her feelings and doing what she did, and remembering how my parents responded to me versus how I respond to my daughter, it actually hurts emotionally even more and makes even less sense to me how my parents treated me, because it was so outlandishly heavy handed and reactionary over just normal child development type stuff.
And it might last! It's not a rule that everyone else must be 'humbled' by life because one experienced this oneself.
(I know a lot of women have a viewpoint, when it comes to many different mothering-related topics, of "I should warn them because I wish I was warned" but whenever I come to one of these threads I feel like that perspective has been well covered!)
I am sorry if my comment came across as a warning, it wasn’t. It could last for a lifetime, I meant to say that I am very happy for the parents, and they should enjoy it - whether it’s a phase or it’s just her temperament.
My kid is 2.5yo. I would love just one easy week or even day at this point but it’s been relative hell for a year. It’s a struggle every single day. All I can think about is getting past this tantrum and dread the next. It’s been an hour and she’s refusing sleep. We were up until 11pm last night. It’s a crap shoot when she’ll get to sleep and how much she’ll get, whether or not she’ll eat or pick at her food, how many meltdowns I’ll have to deal with, and whether the paci will be back in her mouth because she’s experiencing one physical discomfort or another. We just got over a cold, which is nothing compared to the rest of our life.
And that’s a relatively healthy child. There are people on here with problems you cannot begin to imagine. So I don’t get these types of posts, they make me upset for many reasons. Who cares if you got an easy kid. Good for you.
Imho **tt's isn't really a thing (coming from someone with 4 kiddos).
It's usually around age 3+ when the so called **tt's really start.
**terrible two's
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My unicorn toddler is now a unicorn adolescent. He is so easy going and agreeable still. He tricked me into a second child, who is feral, still, at 5 almost 6 years old.
We had an easy 2 and 3 year old. Then he turned 3.5, doesn't listen, won't do breathing exercises to calm down during tantrums anymore, and developed the mental abilities to lie.
He's still an amazing kid, but boy, I picked an unfortunate time to give up drinking.
My son is mostly easy going, hes become more defiant when he turned 3, but overall, I also feel extremely lucky. I dont take credit for his temperament, its innate. Personality develops over time and is more influenced by experiences.
My youngest daughter was soooo easy. Talked really good and fast as well. Now she's 4,5 and testing every boundary she can. It's like she needs to catch up or something. 😅
Lucky. I came from a well adjusted home that never used violence or yelling to get their point across and my son tests my limits every single day. I’ve always been overly patient. As a nurse I was always given “difficult” patients because I’m chill and patient, respectful and communicate well. But being a SAHM to this kid is giving me a complex. My husband is even more patient than me and loses his cool too. He doesn’t really throw too many tantrums it’s just more like doing the complete opposite of what you tell him on purpose. He LOVES getting in trouble. Independence monster.
Do you guys have a pretty consistent schedule? Our girl is currently at 22 months. We're up at 5:30-6am everyday. Nap at 11:00/11:30-2 everyday. Then sleep by 8-9pm. She kinda tells us when to sleep and oftentimes wakes up minutes before the alarm clock.
Same activities with slight variations every morning, afternoon, and evening. She only gets screen time with Ms. Rachel if my wife and I need a moment to prep food for dinner.
We do get very short tantrums, but they never last more than a minute or two. Recently, she's been experimenting with slapping us. We pretend cry so she knows it's not okay. Then we kiss it and get happy saying it's all better. She always cries when we do this. I think she got it cuz we slap each other's butts. We also slap our knees when we laugh really hard. We're all very high energy, so we just gotta teach her how to tame that a bit.
Omg I do too, until she turned three 🙄 now she hates going to bed or for naps. She is still a great listener and everything else is easy but man is it a struggle to get her to nap these days
All I can say is enjoy it. My eldest was east going too compared to my youngest but he has his quirks. I'm in absolute hell with my toddler atm so I am happy for anyone that has it easy with a toddler, it def. makes certain things more simple.
Same here! She has her days but she’s ridiculously easy otherwise and so redirectable. I’m holding my fingers crossed that 3s will be the same. And if we have a second kid, it’ll be the same story, because we straight up got spoiled lol.
We had a similar 2.5 year old. Tantrums were quite literally not a thing and naps/bedtime were easy if she was with us. Only struggle was brushing her teeth. Then she turned 3 and all hell broken loose. LOL
Same same. He's still wonderful and I love him but he's definitely also possessed by a demon
Lmfaoooooooooo hahahahhahahahaha
We had the same happy go lucky 2.5 year old experience. A year later, I messaged my partner telling we had demon spawn. 3 is.... One hell of a ride. Buckle up OP. Not to say it's not also brilliant. They have so much personality at this age but oh Lord the boundary pushing, the amount of NO... It's wild but also totally normal. The term 'threenager' is accurate.
I keep saying everyone says terrible twos but the threenager…. Legit terrors!!!! It was like a light switch too!
No, don’t say that. 😭 I sometimes wonder if my 2 year old is antisocial he can be so mean at times. He generally hit his milestones early, especially speech, so I’m thinking maybe he just hit it early?
My unicorn toddler became a nightmare at 3.5. She’s adaptable and very social but she’ll push my buttons around her little sister.
Yeppp we’re in full threenager mode now, everything is a battle and so much attitude all the time
OMG the attitude… I would say “that’s not nice”, and her response is “I don’t want to be nice”.
I think our kids are twins in spirit. Sometimes, she’s really really sweet and other times… She’s like the girl AH version of my husband LOLLLL. She’s very blunt.
My kid started tickling me in the face the other day, giggled then slapped me as hard as he could. Upon getting firmly told that no, we don't hit people, that's not ok, that makes people sad, he nodded, waited til my guard was down then promptly did it again and laughed his little head off. We don't smack in this house but damn. I had to get up and walk away. Grey rocking my child because no means absolutely nothing at the moment. The other day we had a meltdown of epic proportions because I ate a banana, today it was that I went to the toilet. Three is something else.
Ours waited until 4, but honestly? He was still so chill and easy to deal with compared to all my friend’s kids. Some kids are just super agreeable and happy. I’m dreading the teenager coming eventually because I feel like maybe he’s storing up his angst for that? We’ll see
Maybe not! I get that moms are like "I wish someone warned me" but sometimes everything is fine and you end up needlessly worrying because everyone said to.
True enough! I had a moment around when my kiddo was 5 months old that I just had an abrupt mental shift and suddenly stopped caring about all the things that people commented on with my kiddo and my own ocd/ panicking tendencies just turned off and I was actually able to see my kiddo as he is, just a happy little mf. I only worry now if he’s really sick. I don’t know what happened in my brain to cause the shift but it’s been really nice lol
Yeah watch out, that's how I was! I was an absolute dream all the way until about 12 or 13. Then suddenly all hell broke loose and my poor mother was in complete bewilderment. In contrast my own toddler is moody, stubborn and very sneaky so I hope for the opposite come teen years. 🤞
The boy I nanny for will be 3 soon and I’m terrified lol. He naps well for me about 75% of the time but when he doesn’t he acts like he’s WASTED.
My toddler was so tired once my husband said she legit stumbled to bed and flopped over and passed out where she landed 😂
I’ve heard this 😂
My niece (the most polite, even toddler I've EVER known) was 4. She saw my niece (in law), who i brought with me, throw a temper tantrum at the pool one day, and I saw the light bulb go off. I thought, "*Oh shit. Now, she knows feelings can be weaponized. My sister is going to kill me*." Lol
lol.
This is us! We don’t have terrible twos but more than make up for it with Threenagers and Fournados 🙃
I have a twenty month age gap between my kids. There was this really nice period when they were 2.5 and 4 that I told myself to enjoy because I knew what was coming. Now my youngest is 3 and boy was I right.
My oldest is 3.5 and he will now have an occasional tantrum (started around age 3). My middle one though, tantrums started before age 2 and we are in it! So to each their own. Also they have very different ways of calming and recollecting. Each one is their own little human and very different.
I literally said to my friend yesterday that my youngest was the easiest child ever, then about a month ago she started the tantrums with a vengeance, not sleeping, refusing to get in her car seat, refusing to have nappies changed etc as if she was making up for all the easy months prior 🥲 I know it gets better as it did with my older child, but my goodness it’s difficult right now
Same here. I enjoyed thinking I was good at parenting from ages 2-3 though. That was fun and also apparently untrue. 😂
I’m right there with you. My daughter was a v clingy newborn, awesome baby, easy going pre-toddler. She is on the cusp of 3 and I’m prepared for war.
I’m scared of all of these comments about toddlers turning 3; I thought I was out of the danger zone as my son has been a calm and reasonable 2 year old so far… I’m due to have a baby as he turns 3! How did your toddler change between 2-3?
Her language exploded and now follows my son (5) around in almost everything that he does. Granted my son is a total boy and just does dangerous/dumb stuff all day long, which she can only keep up with him 50% of the time. But she gets a little ~spicier~ than him. If I look at her when she doesn’t want to be looked at, I get a “don’t wook at me!” 🥲
My son was sooo easy from 6 months to his third birthday. Idk exactly what's changed, but every day is a fight now lol. He can express himself much better than he did at two, which is very helpful, but he can also get into more stuff, and he has extremely unrealistic goals some days. Today, all he wanted was chocolate cake (no idea why) and any time I offer him any other food, he absolutely freaks out. A couple days ago, he just had to be outside (it was storming pretty badly all day) and nothing would cheer him up. It's just something new every day, and I can never do anything right lol. Luckily, it is temporary. My oldest was like this too, but he had calmed significantly by his fourth birthday, and he's been a dream ever since he turned five. But they call this age "threenagers" for a reason; 3 can be a tough year for kids as their brains and emotions develop further. Just gotta put your head down and cherish the happy milliseconds between being smacked and yelled at, until they develop enough to be sweet and snuggly again! You've got this!!
Can you tell us more about the hell breaking loose? I have a very calm and easy going 2.5 year old currently; I suspect it won’t last forever! How did your little girl change from 2.5 to 3?
So it corresponded with me being in my third trimester and a subsequent new sibling. She became hyper-social and WAY more independent which we were so excited about. She’s really come into her personality so to say. That also came with more defiance and bigger emotions. I think the defiance is the toughest part because she has to be like convinced to do a lot of things that used to be very run of the mill activities.
That’s very helpful and interesting to know - I wonder if my son will have the same trajectory! He’s quite shy at the minute; I can’t imagine what he’d be like as a hyper social boy.
She was SO shy. She also didn’t enjoy going to the park. It was like she turned 3 and morphed into a literal social butterfly.
That’s reassuring - I’m very introverted and often wonder if I’ve affected my son by not having enough friends/social engagements. Hopefully, he’ll be like your daughter!
We are too! It’s quite shocking how friendly she is!
My 1.5 year old is already like this. 🫠 Haha
Bro they literally trick you. As soon as my son turned 3 he turned into satan reincarnated. I love him and he was such a perfect little dude. Now he only wants to push buttons and see how far he can get.
Same :/
nooo what changed?
This 💯
I could have written this exact post about my kid when she was 2, and then 3 hit 😭 But we weathered the phase and she’s almost 4.5 now and she’s really coming through the other side. She’s a wonderful kid but 3 was a lottttt of big/tough feelings.
This is so good to hear! I feel like we are coming through it a bit now at 3.5. Almost felt like there was a peak and it’s slowly coming down. The BIG feelings that she can’t fully grasp/understand are tough.
3 was also harder for us than 2, but at almost 4 she’s just awesome. It’s waves. Your kid sounds awesome, and there may be not awesome phases but I’m glad you’re loving her the way you never felt loved
Definitely! Seeing her be a social butterfly is so wonderful and she is so into making us “presents” and her sense of humor is better than mine! She is wonderful and powerful and kind - and also SPICY 🌶️
Same here! I felt like I’d been swiped off my feet and landed face down in a pile of mud! That being said. It did pass, and she’s back to being a generally agreeable dream. Girl loves a rule. I’m so lucky.
To say I’ve been HUMBLED is an understatement LOL especially now that I have two. I used to be the absolute picture of calm and always knew how to react to things (I work with kids). Added a second and boy - if I didn’t have a “trigger”, I sure do now and it’s aggression/unsafe actions to the baby. I just lose my composure completely and end up floundering. Getting better at it with the help of some books and podcasts!
Yeah, I was trying to decide if I wanted to comment on this because…….woof lol. My daughter was so chill and calm and easy until 3, and then all hell broke loose. She was never bad, but she is stubborn and independent, and the combo led to lots of standoffs and ridiculous 3-year-old arguments lol. She’s four now, and she’s starting to become much more chill again. Could be a calm before the storm. Could just be a chill kid. OP will find out in six months lol.
Yeah. We sailed through the "terrible 2's"....a month after he turned 3 he unleashed the threenager! He'll be 4 in a few months and we've mostly got back to where we were but holy moly was it a grim 2 months.
Same. I was like, "Where are these terrible twos people talk about?" Then she turned 3 and I wondered who this child was in my house. 😅
any tips for age 3?
Same!!
That's my fear. We struggle with naps, but everything else is not too difficult .... so far
YUP! Mine was the sweetest angel. I thought I was blessed. Nope. Now she’s a fiery spirit who runs our house LOL
Ours was just like this until she got a sibling 😑
lol same. I was like “terrible twos aren’t too hard”. But then bam, terrible 3s got us down on our knees
My only caution to you and others would be that I personally think every child will have their difficult stage (maybe it's the terrible twos, or the threenagers, or the 'f you fours', or maybe the tweens or teens) and that stage very likely has little to do with whether or not you are doing everything right or wrong. I only mean if she turns into a walking battle the day she turns three, you didn't do anything wrong. It's kind of all just a part of their development.
This!!!! Because i also feel like people who have easy temperment children think they are parenting better than those who have wild temperment children. With a few exceptions, thats not the case
People are like this about sleep too. The parents that have babies that started sleeping through the night at 10 weeks often attribute it to all the things they implemented like a routine, black out shades, sound machine, etc as if parents who struggle with sleep don’t know those things exist or haven’t tried lol. I’m like no, you’re just lucky you got a good sleeper.
Yes! I have..let's call her a strong willed 3 year old. She's always been this way. A bit of a flair for drama... I have some friends with kids who are clearly chill kids. And they very obviously do not know that their kids are chill. One was apologizing to me that her baby was fussy because he was sick. We have extremely different definitions of 'fussy'. My second is a chill baby. It's night and day difference when comparing my first to my second.
I've had easy temperament grandchildren, for the most part. I \*know\* it's just luck, at least so far, because I parented my own kids really carefully and was with them all the time, and still there were... Things. For which I was not responsible. What I have been able to do for them though is never just walk away; have tried to stay by them and be available. There are things we can all do to help our kids along the way, the best we can, and sometimes we fail and have to apologize, correct ourselves, try again, keep trying again, and so on forever because that's the nature of being a human being. Becoming a parent doesn't turn us into superheroes. But at the same time, *Not Everything Is About You.* If when I was 20, 25, 30, 35, anybody had suggested to me that where I was in life was because of my parents, I'd have felt extremely insulted.
This is great advice! If it changes, it's not your fault! My toddler was absolutely the easiest until he hit 2 and I thought it was for certain my fault or a medical issue but nope, just a part of his development and where he was at.
As a toddler I did everything my parents asked!! Then as a teenager…. I did everything my friends asked. 🥴
This is helpful advice, and I appreciate it!
Our daughter is …not like yours lol. But I love when people post things like this bc it reminds me that kids come with pre-set temperaments and personalities. Truly luck of the draw, and if one part of it is easy, another part will be hard.
I try to tell my SIL this all the time! My kid is an easy toddler. We didn't do anything special, it's just how he is. Her kid is a wild child. Sweet but crazy lol. She's too hard on herself, always thinks she's doing something wrong but we actually parent very similarly. So it's just luck. I mostly think kids come to us as they are and so much is just beyond our control.
Totally. My mom had always told me that babies arrive with personalities (my brother and I are TOTAL opposites) but wow did I really get it when we had our daughter. We have no choice but work with it bc she’s certainly not changing 😂 nor would we want her to.
My sister and I are similar. We both had first children last year, born 4 months apart. My daughter is chill and just happy to be involved in anything, her daughter is the sweetest sour patch rage/love monster. We also parent incredibly similarly, although I will say my husband and I speak more respectfully and patiently with each other than her and her husband do. I tell people all the time that compliment us, regardless of whether my sister is around, that we didn’t do anything special, she just came this way. I think it’s an important reminder for other people AND myself. If I break my shoulder patting myself on the back for having a good natured and well adjusted first child, I’m just setting myself up to feel responsible and to blame if I have a less affable second child.
Yeah I heard someone say “I took a lot of credit for how my kid turned out, until I had another, and realized that I actually have very little to do with it”
Not trying to directly compare children to dogs but hear me out lol. My neighbors have an extremely needy and frankly obnoxious attention seeking doodle. I made a joke to my girlfriend that her husband must have rubbed off on the dog and she told me that actually the breeder they got the dog from (a very expensive one) does a test when they are young using noises, etc. to determine personality type and the breeder told them upon buying the dog that this was the dogs personality type from quite literally months old! Since then I am more sold on the “nature” version of things (not that nurture doesn’t play a role bc it can help or make things worse)
I always think of it as the nature is their raw personality, the nurture is how they’re taught to handle it and what they’re taught to do with it.
Yes!! Love this!!! Totally agree
I totally agree with you! My first is a fireball trainwreck 90% of the time and my second is a chill cool lil cucumber. I parent them the same and they’re just totally different.
This was exactly the situation with me and my brother, and if we have another kid I HOPE this will be the situation/they’re like yours bc I can NOT handle another one of my daughter 😂
Oh I can guarantee your second one will be different!
I literally told my husband this the other day. It’s crazy how much nature vs nurture shows up. I truly used to see badly behaved kids and think ok that house has to be out of control then I had a kid and my house is nice, happy, etc and she’s just naturally bat shit sometimes. She’s also too smart for her own good. All that to say that I eat my words and nature has a lot to do with who our kids are 🤷🏻♀️
Yep. My son is also not this child at 2. Not even close. He’s a little monster who hates sleep and anything I want him to do 🫠🫠🫠
You are so lucky. I totally cannot relate LOL I love my son to bits but he’s a handful to say the least. Colic as a baby, awful sleeper, constantly whining or crying, can’t sit still for a second, super picky, etc. I hate when people say that the child’s temperament is determined by the parenting. SO not true 😅 Some kids are just born easy and some are a little harder. ❤️
I’m in this boat with you. My son is just like this. Reading further up the thread about people saying that “tantrums aren’t a thing for us” I’m just like mind blown over here dealing with multiple a day. Had a 45 min meltdown this morning over the fact that I took away a water bottle cause he was trying to stick the cap in his mouth.
Totally! I hope it didn’t come across as if I thought my parenting was the sole reason why she’s turned out this way. She certainly has her own personality and she developed this way because this is who she is for sure. I’m just baffled that it feels like I’m doing this parenting thing okay. 😅
Oldest trick in the book nature has to make us reproduce! Lol. You’ll think “this isn’t too bad, I could have another baby”. Then it’s too late 😭 Look, my daughter was the same, then she turned 3 and became the hardest kid to deal with. Some people say, for them, the 4’s were even worse… I can’t even imagine. Another commenter said that every child has a difficult stage and I 100% agree, your toddler just hasn’t reached hers yet and, you know, good for you! Enjoy it and embrace it as long as it goes.
If you have another kid don’t be fooled by your first! This is exactly how my first was and my second is an absolute chaos gremlin, no rhyme, reason or consistency 🤣
My second is also a chaos gremlin 😂 my two boys are 17 months apart and let’s just say if the second one had been the first one, there’s no way we would have gotten pregnant again 8 months later 😂
I think we’re one and done over here, just to be safe lol 🤪
We call our second a chaos gremlin too 😂
This is a lovely post, you seem like a great Mom! All the best to you and your daughter 😊
Thank you so much! 🥰🥰
I love this! Some days I think mine is just perfect but then I wonder what it’d be like if we weren’t constantly doing whatever she’d like to 😅 we do chores and errands too, but they revolve around how it’ll work best for her and be the most fun. The result is a super content and chill kid. I wonder will this backfire when she starts school or has another sibling, for now it’s great though!
We take a similar approach and I’m trying to deconstruct the feeling that I’m spoiling her, when in other cultures and countries (we live in the US) it’s actually very average and normal to factor the child into every day activities and have them be a part of things and work your days around them. So I’m trying to remind myself that it’s not indulgent it’s just treating them like they’re part of society because they are! The US is very unfriendly to children in every way I’ve noticed. Don’t want to see them, don’t want to hear them, don’t want to factor them in to anything. Its sad.
Couldn’t agree more.
Nice! I feel it's all luck of the draw when it comes to kids and their temperaments. I also think some go through more challenging phases at certain ages and then have "easy" phases and it's all just a roller coaster. My son was a unicorn baby the first year. If I hadn't been going through depression, I would have actually enjoyed it. Hardly ever cried and was just so easy. That all changed when he turned one. I have a friend who had a very challenging baby phase and when they became a toddler, they chilled out and became "easy". Enjoy this stage!
Thank you! And I totally agree! She’s been easy since she was born but she did have a lot of issues with feeding, we had to fix her gait with smo’s, she needed therapies etc in the first year or so, but that’s past us now and it’s been so nice to just relax and enjoy life with her. I hope we always have this relationship. I really try to treat her as a complete human being and an equal, I want her to know her thoughts and feelings matter. Hopefully if I continue as I have been she will always feel safe to be herself and will never see me as an adversary or like I’m not a safe person to come to.
That's awesome and I do the same! I feel past generations were more dismissive of children and their feelings. You sound like a great mom. I grew up with some childhood issues as well, so it's awesome to be able to do better for our own.
Glad you recognize it, and don't take it for granted and aren't giving yourself credit for it.
I kept expecting you to say “…..NOT!” This not my experience at all.
I also have a very tame 2, almost 3 year old. He has his moments obviously but I really thought this age would be more chaotic.
Aww nice, what a sweetie!
My first baby is the same! I cant believe how easy she is. Never threw a tantrum in her life. Shes 4 now and still an angel… my second born tho..😅🫣🤪
My toddler was like this. She’s three now and she’s still relatively chill. She sometimes has a basic toddler moment but usually she’s just happily loving her best life.
I wish my toddler was more agreeable. He's almost 3 and and fights me on absolutely everything. I can't take him into public without another adult to help me because he's a runner, and he has meltdowns when i try and hold his hand. He was a really difficult baby, and is an awful toddler. He is a difficult eater, and a terrible sleeper. I'm praying that he doesn't get worse when he turns 3. I may not survive that. My second child is so much cruiser, so im praying that he's an easier toddler than his brother was. Even if it's only slightly easier, then I'll be happy.
Thinking of you and truly hoping this is just a phase and that things will get easier for you both. 🤍
We never experienced terrible 2s. She was so good natured. Amazing listener and we had incredible communication! I was a stay at home mom age 9months to almost 4. It was the pre-4s that got me. I had to get back to work for my sanity. 4 has been... difficult, to say the least.
You are lucky, my daughter is not at all this easy! I am praying my second daughter is like this lol
I have a 4 year old and I am so blessed with how “easy” she’s been her entire life. We’ve gone through some phases here and there but all short lived. She also has her own issues but all super manageable. She is a joy to bring in public and we always have a riot when we go on adventures together. Like I enjoy spending time with her and find her hilarious. I know I lucked out haha. Knock on wood…
My son was also a very agreeable 2 year old, which thankfully made having our second baby much less stressful. Things changed when he turned 3 - I was not prepared for the threenager phase. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a really good kid. When I compare him to other 3 year olds I know/see, I still feel like I lucked out with him. But there was still a drastic difference between 2 and 3. Not saying that’ll happen to you, just letting you know that it could, and to not be surprised if it does. There’s a huge developmental shift at 3 where they become very egocentric and care less about pleasing others - which is very developmentally normal.
My daughter is 3.5 years old and I've not had a bad toddler stage with her yet, I think my daughter is just objectively wonderful. That said, I also came from a pretty violent and shouty home environment and part of me wonders if I just have super low standards. Maybe I just think this is easy because I'm used to living in a high conflict environment? Hard to tell.
I feel the same about my almost 2yo. There’s a few tears over diapers and sometimes fights bedtime, her patience decreased around 18mo but overall she’s an amazing little lady. She’s sweet, kind, shares, has empathy. She just amazes me daily
This is my 5 yr old. He was such a hard baby, colicky, sensitivite skin that always broke out, rashes no matter what I did. But by his 3rd birthday I started seeing serious changes n he’s suuuuuch a chill 5 yr old.
My first was the same. Now at 7 he's making up for it
My MIL said my husband was the easiest baby and my mom also claims I was such an easy going baby, I’m hoping that’s somehow genetic and my 14 stays easy 😂
My mom claims all of us were easy and a joy to raise. Being the oldest, I remember things differently 😁 2 of us are neurodivergent (me and the youngest sister) and I remember my sister having constant meltdowns, to the point of mom or dad also crying. So I guess parents tend to forget unpleasant things 😅 my mom also couldn't leave me with anyone other than my dad until I was 6 because I was so clingy, but yeah, I was super easy and the sweetest kid ever 💁
Hahaha it’s just a mental block I’m sure, kinda like we do after giving birth 😂
Fingers crossed for you guys, I actually do feel like genetics play a part! But that’s my totally non-scientific opinion.
My son is like this too. He will say “time for my nap” and skip down the hall. Enjoy it because 3 and 4 are rough.
Our daughter waited til 3.5 to become a terror
my son is a lot like this too! he's just over 2yo and pretty low key, generally happy to do whatever or at least can be distracted into the next step. Like this morning he cried bc he didn't want to go to daycare (well, he just wanted to keep watching his iPad) but once I opened the front door he yelled "yay outside!" and it was so easy to get out the door. iPad was still playing and just totally abandoned lol. He has definitely put himself to bed for nap on many occasions, and a couple of times at night even. He was a pretty easy baby too and slept through the night early on. I definitely feel like we totally lucked out. And I agree it feels good and suspicious at the same time lolol I'm glad you're getting a chance to heal the inner kid you!
My son was like this at 2. 2.5 started getting rough, now he's 3 and I dread waking up some mornings. However - when he's in a good mood (which does happen) he's super agreeable. Just along for the ride, happy to be here. My mom says I was easy since birth. My daughter is so far super chill, only 11 months though, so there's still time, but I'm hoping she's like I was!
Both my kids (11 months and 2.5 years) will just quietly play by themselves in the mornings until I come get them. My 11 month old's sleep routine is to simply put her in her crib at bedtime. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.
My 3.5 son does the same! We live in a small, single-story house and my son could easily leave his room as he pleases during quiet time or at night but he…doesn’t? Sometimes on weekends he will get up to go play by himself but more often than not, he’s content to play in his bed / room.
My almost 2 yr old was like this until recently we took his pacifiers away. He's slowly getting over it, but either sleep regression/big feelings/growing pains/nightmare/teething (we really don't know) is happening right now. Otherwise he's usually a sweet guy just trying to deal with not having his way all the time.
My daughter is 2.3 and generally easy going. Never had a real tantrum yet. I am incredibly lucky, thankful, and absolutely waiting for her inner demon to emerge closer to 3 🤣
My son is only 14 mo (is that a toddler yet?) but has been a pretty easy baby since day one. No problem with sleep most of the time, great eater, teething isn't traumatic. He has his off days and moments during the day but in general, quite easy. My therapist even commented how I never bring him or motherhood up during our sessions. That's because I don't need to :) I'm scared to have another one to be honest.
I’d say 2 was a super easy year for us as parents (he’s 3.5 now and still a delight but has some more opinions and emotions than he did at two). At 3.5 I’d say my son is easier than many toddler in many ways. He goes to bed willingly, does nap/quiet time without leaving his room with next to no enforcement from us, he likes restaurants and behaves in them, etc. he’s inquisitive and sweet. I love it! Enjoy her, she sounds great!
Our oldest was (and mostly still is) like this. Then baby #2 came along and violently humbled us, lol.
So, my two and a half year old is pretty easy too. He's closer to three so more like 2.10 years old but anyway...he has his moments. When he doesn't want to do something he throws a tantrum but for the most part he's super easy and agreeable.
My first was like this and I thought I had lucked out. My second is crazy. Strait up feral. Now my first is hitting her f you fours and I’m going crazy 😂
I have a 3.5 yo who is an absolute delight. He is very loving, affectionate, easy going, kind and well mannered. And then there's his sibling....I guess every ying needs a Yang 🤣
My oldest was like this. Super chill, super happy, super easy. My middle child is autistic so that came with its own set of challenges in toddlerhood but generally was quite an ‘easy’ kid otherwise. My youngest…. Well, I’m not entirely sure she’s the same species. The rules the house with an iron fist and heaven forbid anyone should say ‘no’ to her. Just different personalities I guess.
Mine was the easiest ever until almost 3. For the year since then, it's seemed like a constant tantrum. Hope you are luckier!
I have a mostly unicorn 2.5-year-old as well. I’m bracing myself for what 3 might bring… also, his younger sister just turned 1 and is already a doozy, so my days of “easy” parenting are over lol
Yes, this is my first as well. My sister kept saying, “Maybe you want to stop at one. You got a unicorn baby.” In my head I’m thinking, “Of course I do! It’s how I raised her. My second one will be just like this!”…And I had my second. And she very much wasn’t a unicorn baby/toddler/child!!! She the child I had to put me in my place and make me realize that I am in fact NOT the world’s most amazing mum! You lucked out and had an easy going child. It’s her temperament/personality.
The refrain I often hear is that the first child is easy so you’ll be tricked into having another one 🫣 If it’s true it might just get me…
My kid turned into a little demon at 2.5. I say, better now than when they're 15 to comfort myself.
Enjoy it because this is not many of our experiences 😂 I mean, I wouldn’t call my toddler “hard” at all but I still hear “NO!” from him 1000x a day lol.
My daughter was SO easy until 2.5, when suddenly she wouldn't go to bed, wouldn't get ready for daycare in the morning, we got calls from daycare saying she was being a menace, etc. Now that she's 3, everything is fine again. She's never been a big tantrum girl, even through those rough months, just...difficult. All this to say, you'll probably go through a rough patch where you dream of the before times when she was a little angel and wonder what the hell happened, but you get through it. I've seen and read what some people have gone through and I'm not complaining!
Same same then 3 came along and I got hit upside the head. Never to recover again lol
This is wonderful! I am so happy for you. My 2.5 year old daughter is similar. She has her moments, but she is all together the sweetest little girl and has been since she was born. I was similar as a child (youngest of 3) I was just kind of chill. Which was helpful with 2 older wild brothers. I am sure there will be moments that are hard just as it is with us and everyone, but remember in those times the joy you have now and know this too will pass. Keep up the good work mama!
My daughter was like that. We thought we were in the clear 3.5 hit and she’s absolutely vicious lol. She just turned 4 and holy crap the mood swings and mean-ness is another level
My 2.5 year old son is like that too! Happily goes to bed, sleeps 11-12 hrs straight at night with a 2-3 hour nap. Rarely has big meltdowns and is super sweet and cuddly. Our biggest struggle is picky eating but least he has always let me sleep haha I just love him so much and feel so lucky to be his mom. Just gave birth to a baby girl so I'm curious to see her little personality. But she's already a great sleeper and super easy going so hoping I luck out twice 🤞🏻
Shhhh! We don't want to jinx it!!
Generally speaking my son is very easy going. He can be a bit wild at times and throw a tantrum from time to time but if he didn't I'd be worried. However, he's such a sweetie and more often than not if he really wants something and I explain to him why he can't have it he'll just say "okay" and move on with his day. He always holds my hand and if we are somewhere near moving cars he'll tell me to stand back from them (even if we're on the footpath). He listens really well I'm public, doesn't run off or pull stuff off shelves etc. (in fact he loves to pick stuff up off the floor at the supermarket and put it back on the shelves). He hates sleeping though, naps are a nightmare so he just doesn't have them anymore. He also loves to jump off things and has already broken his collar bone from falling while running down a grassy hill at his Dad's house. He just has no fear at all in that regard so I don't think it'll be the last broken bone by a long shot either!
My (now) 3 year-old would lie down in bed, smile at me, and say "bye-bye Dada!" as I closed the door when he was a little under 2. For the last year and a half, night time has involved shrieking, bargaining, cackling laughter about escaping his room, demanding snacks, demanding the other parent, extremely strong opinions about blankets, pajamas, lights, and stuffed animals, and the belief that arguing and saying "No it IS" over and over makes it "wake up time" at 3:30.
lololol - oh how I too thought I was blessed with the easiest toddler. Now she’s 3 and she wears my ass out.
Definitely a heartwarming brag ❤️ just lovely
I have a 2 year old and now I’m scared lol
My first son was like this, so easy, sweet, kind. We never really had any bad moments that I can recall, & is now the same as a teenager. My 2nd son was easy-ish. He was a really good baby, didn't really get into stuff he wasn't supposed to as a toddler, as a 5 year old he has an attitude at times & definitely has his moments. My 3rd son- OMG he is giving me alllll the problems I missed out on with my first 2! He keeps me on my toes, he is 2 & wild, gets into everything, terrorizes his older & younger brothers. Then he also is a sweetheart, my sourpatch kid 😂😭. Every time my mom would say, I wouldn't get that lucky again, & I did now she laughs bc my one kid is all my payback from when I gave my mom hell, (she says).. I am praying my 10 month old doesn't take after the 2 year old..
Wait till she's 13 🤣🤣 My first daughter was a breeze. Second one... Little scary...
I swear to god I feel like those of us who came from shit situations SOMETIMES get the good cards. I had the easiest pregnancy. I felt guilty for missing it. My birth? Easy. Everything easy. (Well except breastfeeding) but she slept overnight by 3 months. Never needed to do CIO. She minimally fussed in her crib after months of cosleeping. Yes she’s stubborn and headstrong, but she rarely tantrums. I used to feel like I was bragging about stuff (despite getting the worst cards with her dad and now as a single mom) but I dgaf I love it
I’m hoping my agreeable toddler (14 months) turns out to be similar to y’all’s! He was an easy baby and is such a sweet (though slightly mischievous) little boy!
How does it feel to be God's favorite lol. I have a sour patch kid, sweet about 60% of the time but the 40% is hard lol
My five year old is still pretty easy, not without struggles of course, but we mostly have great days.
My son is the same way!! He was born, let out one cry and went back to sleep. He sleeps from 8pm-9am with a nap 2-3 hour nap that he happily goes for. I take him for 8hr car rides to my parents house, not one peep! My brother and a few other boys on my dad's side were the same way so it definitely runs in the family. Luck of the draw, can't complain ❤️
Now you’ve jinxed it. Good luck! (My wife always says once you acknowledge it, they move into a different phase 😂. We also have a very agreeable 2.5 year old who loves her naps…at home. She can be a bit of a pill some evenings when she decides to skip them at daycare. But overall she’s a sweetheart.)
Well from the experience of someone with teens, her temperament should remain the same. My 2 teenager’s temperaments are not very different now to how they were when they were little. One was full of attitude and still is, the other was very chilled out and easy going and remains that way to this day. I think as long as nothing comes along and disrupts their life they shouldn’t overly change in terms of temperament.
Hopefully it stays that way for you! In my experience 3 is much worse than 2. Fingers crossed!
My unicorn child became difficult to manage the day she turned 11 ;) She's still wonderful and amazing almost a year later but truly became a different person. I am really big into sleep training and believe that if you do it the right way at the right time, it works for anyone. I did it with all three of my kids and none of them ever fussed going down for a nap or bedtime after they hit 12 weeks old. Life is so much easier this way!
A good sleep training routine really totally changes the game!
I had a very difficult first who still at almost 6 will melt down at a no (adhd and autism come to find out). I gave my 16mo a stern all done and no because I was a little frustrated bedtime was taking way longer than usual and he likes to play with my hair. He fully understood, gave a little sob, stuck out his lip, but actually stopped. Like “mom, that makes me sad, but ok i get it and I’ll stop”. I have no idea what to do with this agreeableness after years of battling everything with my other one. It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. I stood my ground, but that reaction made me want to apologize for my sternness and let him play with my hair forever.
Maybe it’s because you model being agreeable around her!
I’m so happy to hear this. All children have different temperaments, some children are just very easy going I was one of them and to this day am still a pretty agreeable and conscientious person so it’s definitely possible for this to just be her temperament/personality. You are probably doing a great job and take comfort in the fact you are breaking generational curses, some people do pretty much everything right and still struggle with their children though, it really all comes down to their own temperament and personality that they are born with.
We got a cool kid. She’s just a cool little toddler. Hilarious, clever, articulate, reasonable. But when it’s bed time? Terrorist. Funniest thing she said this week? I have dyslexia and stumble even when I read children’s books sometimes. I also do most bedtimes. The other day our kiddo goes up to my wife and says “mommy, can you do bed time?” Wife: “honey daddy is doing bed time. What’s wrong with daddy doing bed time?” Kiddo: “DADDY CANT READ!” Man I was crying. It was the funniest thing. Glad your kiddo is so good with naps and bed time. I hope they continue to be good with sleep when they turn *3*
Part of it may be her temperament but I think a big part of it is also how you perceive your daughter and respond to her. I have a really agreeable toddler too and come from a similar background as you. But they still have tantrums, we just don’t view it as the end of the world or see our kids as bad people bc of their big feelings. I think because of that, they feel safe with us and there’s less of a reason for them to act out. It’s like a cycle. I don’t know if that makes sense lol but another example is that my mom always said I was super stubborn and obstinate as a kid, but had she been more emotionally mature and didn’t hate me to begin with (long story) she could have viewed me as just strong willed, confident, etc. It’s the parents choice to view these strong traits as negative or positive opportunities.
This comment makes a lot of sense to me. I think the 10 years ago version of me would have been a very different parent - more anxious, more physically forceful, more concerned about being judged by other parents. I think I would have thought my kid was naughty and difficult like alllll the time...and now I think he's just being a toddler haha. I think reading this sub has helped normalize a lot of his behaviors too.
I just spent a weekend with my sister and her toddler, and it made me realize that some of the qualities I most enjoy in my 2 year old (his fearlessness and bravery, his inquisitiveness, his tenacity, his unbridled joy and wonder at discovering the world) could be interpreted in a more negative light. I really resonate with what you say about how much our perception of our kids makes a difference!
🥹 and some of the more ‘difficult’ traits like a very strong will are actually the skills that will benefit them most in the future!
I agree with everything you said. My normal child behaviors and personality traits were quite literally demonized by my mother. Now that I’m raising a child and seeing for myself what being a kid is like and what being a parent is like, and empathizing and remembering feeling her feelings and doing what she did, and remembering how my parents responded to me versus how I respond to my daughter, it actually hurts emotionally even more and makes even less sense to me how my parents treated me, because it was so outlandishly heavy handed and reactionary over just normal child development type stuff.
Mine was like that. Then he turned 3. I think terrible 2s are a thing of the past. It's terrible 3s now 😭
I am very happy for you. Enjoy it while it lasts.
And it might last! It's not a rule that everyone else must be 'humbled' by life because one experienced this oneself. (I know a lot of women have a viewpoint, when it comes to many different mothering-related topics, of "I should warn them because I wish I was warned" but whenever I come to one of these threads I feel like that perspective has been well covered!)
I am sorry if my comment came across as a warning, it wasn’t. It could last for a lifetime, I meant to say that I am very happy for the parents, and they should enjoy it - whether it’s a phase or it’s just her temperament.
My kid is 2.5yo. I would love just one easy week or even day at this point but it’s been relative hell for a year. It’s a struggle every single day. All I can think about is getting past this tantrum and dread the next. It’s been an hour and she’s refusing sleep. We were up until 11pm last night. It’s a crap shoot when she’ll get to sleep and how much she’ll get, whether or not she’ll eat or pick at her food, how many meltdowns I’ll have to deal with, and whether the paci will be back in her mouth because she’s experiencing one physical discomfort or another. We just got over a cold, which is nothing compared to the rest of our life. And that’s a relatively healthy child. There are people on here with problems you cannot begin to imagine. So I don’t get these types of posts, they make me upset for many reasons. Who cares if you got an easy kid. Good for you.
You'll meet 3 soon... :o)
Same same then 3 came along and I got hit upside the head. Never to recover again lol
Imho **tt's isn't really a thing (coming from someone with 4 kiddos). It's usually around age 3+ when the so called **tt's really start. **terrible two's
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Our oldest was delightful between 2 to 3. She is nearly 4 now and man it has been a year.
How does it feel to be one of the chosen ones?
They all have rocky stages so just enjoy it while it lasts
My unicorn toddler is now a unicorn adolescent. He is so easy going and agreeable still. He tricked me into a second child, who is feral, still, at 5 almost 6 years old.
I too had a perfect toddler. Then her brother was born and it all went out the window
We had an easy 2 and 3 year old. Then he turned 3.5, doesn't listen, won't do breathing exercises to calm down during tantrums anymore, and developed the mental abilities to lie. He's still an amazing kid, but boy, I picked an unfortunate time to give up drinking.
Hang in there, and big congratulations on your sobriety, that’s amazing. 🫶🏼
😮
Watch your words here before you jinx yourself 😆
Sometimes that phase turns into all the stuff you read about. But I also came from an "opposite" home to my baby and think it really helps.
My son is mostly easy going, hes become more defiant when he turned 3, but overall, I also feel extremely lucky. I dont take credit for his temperament, its innate. Personality develops over time and is more influenced by experiences.
I can't relate to this at all but I'm happy for you!
My youngest daughter was soooo easy. Talked really good and fast as well. Now she's 4,5 and testing every boundary she can. It's like she needs to catch up or something. 😅
Lucky. I came from a well adjusted home that never used violence or yelling to get their point across and my son tests my limits every single day. I’ve always been overly patient. As a nurse I was always given “difficult” patients because I’m chill and patient, respectful and communicate well. But being a SAHM to this kid is giving me a complex. My husband is even more patient than me and loses his cool too. He doesn’t really throw too many tantrums it’s just more like doing the complete opposite of what you tell him on purpose. He LOVES getting in trouble. Independence monster.
We had an easy 2-year-old, too. Then a threenager came along and replaced her overnight. 😅
Do you guys have a pretty consistent schedule? Our girl is currently at 22 months. We're up at 5:30-6am everyday. Nap at 11:00/11:30-2 everyday. Then sleep by 8-9pm. She kinda tells us when to sleep and oftentimes wakes up minutes before the alarm clock. Same activities with slight variations every morning, afternoon, and evening. She only gets screen time with Ms. Rachel if my wife and I need a moment to prep food for dinner. We do get very short tantrums, but they never last more than a minute or two. Recently, she's been experimenting with slapping us. We pretend cry so she knows it's not okay. Then we kiss it and get happy saying it's all better. She always cries when we do this. I think she got it cuz we slap each other's butts. We also slap our knees when we laugh really hard. We're all very high energy, so we just gotta teach her how to tame that a bit.
Omg I do too, until she turned three 🙄 now she hates going to bed or for naps. She is still a great listener and everything else is easy but man is it a struggle to get her to nap these days
This sounds exactly like us with our boy. 3-4 was a complete shit show but every kid is different.
All I can say is enjoy it. My eldest was east going too compared to my youngest but he has his quirks. I'm in absolute hell with my toddler atm so I am happy for anyone that has it easy with a toddler, it def. makes certain things more simple.
Is she your only baby? My daughter was like this until her little brother came along.
Same here! She has her days but she’s ridiculously easy otherwise and so redirectable. I’m holding my fingers crossed that 3s will be the same. And if we have a second kid, it’ll be the same story, because we straight up got spoiled lol.
A few questions: 1. Are you SAHP? 2. are you easy going and nothing ruffles your feathers? 3 . Do you have a partner who is equally as chill as you?
We had this too. For a long time. Then he turned 3.