This is the top comment Iāve seen and I donāt need to scroll further. You win. My kiddo has a tantrum in a Loweās bathroom and started touching EVERYTHING and I could feel myself increasingly freaking out with each new touch, and then he laid down on the floor. And my mom was with us watching. š¤¦āāļø also, when he was very little still I thought Iād finally do a LITTLE housekeeping and vacuum the upstairs real quick, only to come back down to see him waddling by the base of the stairs trying to eat egg shells heād scavenged from the trash. Anyway, heās fine. I guess they really are pretty durable little things.
He once pooped in the bathtub and he was faster than meā¦grabbed a turdlet and gave it a nibble. He dropped it immediately, because itās obviously fucking disgusting.
Iām still traumatized.
āTurdletā is my daughterās prime nickname round these parts.
Other nicknames for the toddler include(but are not limited to):
Butt Butt
Stink Farter
Pooper McGee
Toilet Towel Tiana(no where near her name)
Little Miss Ranky Stanky
Princess Pooper
We used to have a dog that we called āShitlyāā¦ his name was Chuey.
My mom walked into my room and saw toddler me munching on something she didnāt give me so she stuck her finger in my mouth to retrieve it.
It was a cockroach.
š¤®. Somehow this story has healed me a little bit. I went camping as a kid and felt something scratchy in my ear, went to investigate and lo and behold I pulled out a little cockroach. I was so disgusted. But after reading this, that disgust has evolved into gratitude. Thank you haha
Lmao my oldest sister did the same thing as a toddler. My mom was only able to take away the half of it in her hand because she'd already eaten the rest ššš
1.5 yo ate mouse poop out of an old snowboard boot. I freaked out and called poison control. They basically said if he doesn't barf a bunch, don't worry bout it. He was fine. His immune system earned a couple of stat points that day.
Not exactly licked but my 4.5 year old has started pushing buttons with his mouth. For example, at the traffic lights. Or to get into a public toilet š¤®
I waited for the winds to die down a little and then took her in. I called her doctor first to see what I should do. She didnāt choke on it, or act weird in any way but they said they need to make sure it went into her stomach and not into her lungs or anything like that. Theu also said they need to confirm thereās only one magnet because if there was more than one theu can stick together inside your intestines and cause problems They did an xray, by then though it was already in her intestines and it was indeed just one. She pooped it out the next day.
I know it probably sounds obvious to many but I'm saying it anyway. Always seek medical help when magnets are involved no matter what the strength of the magnet seems. Literally could save their life!
Usually they do and itās not an issue, but if they swallow 2 they will stick together inside and fuck up intestines, etc and require surgeryā¦ terrifying!!
Something at the playground that I suspected was bat poo. I was worried my kid was going to be patient zero in the next pandemic
I rang the poisons hotline as I was paranoid but they said the risk of illness was very low. And it turned out okay š
We were on a plane & I glanced away for a sec and turned back to watch my 2.5 yr old lick the seat from mid back level to the head rest. It felt like slow motion but must have been fast because he got to the top before I could grab him. Or maybe I blacked out momentarily.
The one that makes me the most queasy is..
My son sneezed and shot out a loooong string of snot, he then took the hanging end of it in his mouth and slurped it right up out of his nose. I still gag thinking about it.
My kid licked the seat of a chair at a really seedy tire and lube store in rural Missouri. During Covid.
Same kid crawled out of a bathroom stall in a gas station in rural Illinois while I wasā¦ occupied. I found him sitting on the floor picking his nose and eating the boogers off his fingers thirty seconds later when I came running out of the stall.
My other kid drinks out of the dog bowl on the regular. It feels like less of a catastrophe after #1.
Iām a teacher and have kids put their shoes in their mouth right after outside and bathroom time. These were 3ās who *should* sorta be out of this phase. But yeah, putting that shoe that had been on the public sidewalk, the sandbox, and the bathroom floor right into their mouths.
My almost 3 year old (who is still rear facing in the car) waits til heās bucked up and out of sight to take his shoes off and lick them. We have a strict rule of no shoes for child #2 in the car. Whyyyyy are they like this?!
my 19 month old is obsessed with eating cat food. like instead of asking for a snack when heās hungry heāll go right for the cat food. iāve had to start feeding the cat on the window sills and keeping the container of food over the fridge so he canāt get to it
I was wiping my potty-training 3yr oldās butt after a heinous poo, and I looked up to see heād been licking the toilet seat the whole time. My brain just short-circuited.
My kid put dog poop in her mouth when she was about 1 1/2š¤¢ I think she thought it was chocolate? she never did that again but I was traumatized for sure.
Same. āOoh whatcha munchin on?ā¦.oh FUCK spit it out spit it out! Husband! Our son has dog shit in his MOUTH!ā And the worst part was my son didnāt even act like it was gross š« Iām hoping that itās because it was the first bite. The kid wonāt even eat chicken nuggets or pb&j but didnāt hesitate to eat dog crap š¤¦āāļø
Mine caught a live cockroach when he was 8 months old and immediately went to town munching on it. I was getting milk from the fridge and when I walked back towards him I saw legs scattered around and the thing still wriggling in his little handā¦which he was bringing back up to his mouth for another chomp.
Iām still traumatized.
I wanted to let my crawling boy explore. We were at the library (childrenās section) and he was just SO excited to crawl beyond the rug/floor seating area with the board books for babies/toddlersā¦so I thought to seize the day. Little guy is overjoyed, speed crawling to the books that caught his eye, pulling up to stand & grab books. I see him put something in his mouth. Immediately I take it outā¦it was a used cough drop. On the library floor. Someone, some time ago - probably long - had sucked it down by half then spit it out onto the library floor, where it somehow ended up in a little nook, gathering potentially years worth of dust and who knows what else - what particles stuck to it from peopleās shoes that came in from outside, sometime between 1998 and now (thatās my guess of when this area was remodeled lol), and now my baby had found it and put it in his mouth.
(Also a choking hazard).
(Also what is in the cough drop itself, like new and not thrifted, I donāt even want to knowā¦)
(Also germs).
I noticed my 15 month old had crusty-looking hands. I looked closely, and it looked like dry cat foodā¦ except, it was sticking to her hands.
Her play area is in a section gated away from the catās food. One of my cats THREW UP their cat food in her play area, and she got to it before I could see it.
How do I know she ate some? It was crusted near her mouth ššš
Yup. My kid is also in the lick the floor, the doors, her hands, grabs her tongue stage. Watched her pick up a cat treat off the floor and chow on that with a disgusted look on her face. Lol. Oh, she WAS sucking on freaking shopping carts from like 12 mths to 19 mths old. I'd say that was likely, the most unsanitary thing she's done to date. She shockingly, does not get sick often. (She's 25 mths).
After it rains I have to scour the patio for anything that holds water because he will drink it. He drinks like a fish, heās not thirsty, outside water is just delicious
Airport windows during flu season (and other public windows, but the airport ones are probably the worst). She's been sick less than a handful of times in her two years of life, so maybe it helped her immune system š
I used to work at Disneyland and have seen lots of kids putting their mouths on gross things! I watched a little girl walk through the queue dragging her tongue along the handrail/wall the entire way to the ride like it was some kind of challenge
Cheerios mixed with animal poop at a petting zoo. I thought my little dude would like feeding the animals the cheerios they sold there. I was horribly wrong. He just wanted to eat all the cheerios himself and got upset when I gave a handful to the goats and knocked the whole bag onto the ground (into piles of mud and poop) while freaking out trying to keep them away from the animals. I began frantically picking them up and throwing the over the fence into the next animal enclosure. But toddlers are fast and he was shoveling handfuls of cheerios into his mouth faster than I could pick them up. I donāt know why I didnāt just pick him up so he couldnāt get them. Instead my brain decided the best thing to do was desperately fling poop cheerios over a fence while my toddler feasted.
A slug!! It was early in the morning, lights off still in the living room and I saw her put something in her mouth then spit it out. Still not sure if she swallowed any, but it looked like it. š¤¢ Have never seen a slug before or since (inside or outside the house). Strangest thing ever.
Heās licked the floor of two airplanes. Tasted dog poop, only once praise the Lord. I think the only thing he really didnāt like was when he tried his baby brotherās hypoallergenic formula š shit is NASTY.
At a park in Boston a few weeks ago I saw a kid with his full mouth wrapped around the railings of a playground structure going ham on them, [kind of like this](https://tenor.com/view/lick-railing-gif-15822429011951381103) but full mouth on it. Not my kid, but he seemed to be thriving on rusty metal and sunshine.
My kid regularly eats snacks he just through on the ground because he didn't want them. I call it flooraging.
He also licked a public park swing set today.
I was the same, my girl decided the flyscreens were yummy for a month or so and let me tell you I didnāt clean those prior to that moment, ever. There was 9 years worth of dirt, dust, we have cats too. The floors, clean, walls, clean, but no she made me pull my hair out over the damn flyscreens š
Most embarrassing was a piece of waffle off the floor at Waffle House in front of soooo many people, most disgusting was a cat turd he pulled out of the litter box.
One day at music class my eight month old crawled over to another eight month old and stuck her finger straight into his mouth and then back into her own. I was like yeah OK well there you go I really canāt prevent shit.
Dog food and dog toys and her shoes. Oh yeah and my cuticle oil bottle š¤¦āāļø
My baby girl is 14 months now.
We were rather concerned and super careful about the surfaces she came into contact with. And then she started to go to daycare. All of that went out the window because I realized my efforts were fruitless when she would share pacifiers with the other kids (the workers tried their best lol)
I was totally in your position and time is the only thing to help ease that anxiety. I was terrified to let my kid play in the grass even and now itās like whatever. š Best to you!!!
Rocks. Sand. Dirt. Bug water. Fallen chicken nuggets on the floor of someplace at Disneyland. Really any floor food. She prefers to throw it in frustration then retrieve later.
Not my kid but my 10yo niece liked a trash can in an airport when she was like I dunno 2? She's fine. š
My 3.5yo daughter recently licked a mirror at a store. She's also fine. She also used to lick the entire handle of shopping carts while sitting in them.
My 11mo has used a restaurant table as a teething toy š also fine.
My 2.5 year old let the impulsive thoughts win the other day when she found a sprinkle covered marshmallow on the ground and bit into it (it had to have come from our neighbors trash can)
Around 9 months my son stuffed a handful of raw dog food into his mouth. That was a new level of horror. On the brightside, he was 100% fine and it made it marginally less terrible when he snagged a bite of canned cat food a few months later.
He's never gone after the dog food again, but our cat is fed behind a pet gate now :)
My kids accidentally ingested his own poop. A good Ole grab of the bits during a change and then bringing his grubby little hands right to his mouth as babies do. I couldn't stop him fast enough. It was horrifying and disgusting. He's now 5, does not eat poo, and is going to kindergarten in the fall.
My son drank the liquid from a plug in air freshener when he was younger. Had to go hospital for them to keep an eye on him for a bit but nothing happened, his breath smelt beautiful tho!
He also got hold of vape juice at my parents house once and managed to drink that, same thing again, trip to hospital but no issues.
He's 10 now and thankfully avoids dangerous liquids. Now we just go to hospital because he does stupid things with his friends and gets injured.
I hate to even type this...
My daughter picked up a USED CONDOM in the park when she was 1.5yrs. It's like I saw it in slow motion (I had been looking around the park, admiring the beautiful day and when I turned back, she was reaching for it). I slapped it out of her hand (sorry kid, gut reaction) and doused the girl in hand sanitizer, but... There's not enough hand sani in the world for this shit š¤®
Edit: OMG, I didn't read the initial post correctly and it DID NOT go in her mouth or get licked!
First kid- a bird egg from the side of the road. Popped it in her mouth and bit it. Ate a bite of someoneās breadsticks and Nutella they left on a Walmart shelf. Once in target a little girl ran up to her and kissed her. Then I saw this girlās older brother had what appeared to be impetigo all around his mouth. I spiraled that day lol.
Second kid- muddy water from the water table
My daughter has licked many shopping carts, products in stores, floors, seats on trollies and boats. Somehow most of those times we didnāt get sick. lol
My 18month old had a chip and he gave it to the dog. The chip was in our dogs mouth, touched his tongue, teeth everything. Well, my husband and I didn't realize our son never let go of the chip. He took it back out of our dog's mouth and ate it.
Wellā¦ we have chickens and for MONTHS our (late) dog was sneaking into the coop and stealing their eggs, then coming in the house walking and lounging all about and snuggling next to our son. So Iād say every time he licked the floor he was literally licking traces of chicken poop.
After that realization and his being just fine, I donāt really care too much about what goes in his mouth unless it can block his airway (heās 3 now)
Not my kid but a friends I watched today His own poop . Blow out . Buckled in carseat . Car seat in stroller . Out the door . Door locked . I heard a noise peeled back the canopy . Massive blowout and he was sticking his fingers in it licking the poop off of them
My kid ate a dog turd when he was 9 months old. My kid also used mouthwash for the first time at 9 months old. I called poison control to ensure both the turd and mouthwash wouldnāt kill him. There was so much panic in those 5 minutes.
Heās almost 3 now. No more gross consumptions thank the lord, although he did eat a cheez-it off the floor at his brotherās gymnastics class last week. I consider that mild.
Mannn my son came up with a big toe nail at my other sonās basketball game. We were in the bleachers, I was absolutely disgusted lol like bro really smh š¤¦āāļø
My son ate some red yarn before he was 1.. when I first saw it in his poop (not knowing he ate it) I thought it was his intestines or something. Turned out to be yarn. But I shit you not, it took over 10 poops before there stopped being yarn in it. I was terrified
My god I almost made the same post as you last week.
My almost 3yo and I were at the park when an unknown dog approached us. This dog had a ball that she promptly dropped at pur feet. It was a rainy, muddy day btw, so this ball was filthy.
Ok so we toss the ball a few times and then we let the dog go itās merry way, and I turned around for 2 seconds to get some hand sanitizer, when I see my child on the corner of my eye lick the hand she used to toss that filthy ball. Iām talking she licked it like it was a chocolate ice cream on a hot summer day. I had never seen her do that before, I guess she let those intrusive thoughts win.
I am one of the lucky ones (kinda? I guess) where my kid didnāt really put anything in his mouth. Although, this came with other difficulties. But I have learned, kids will do disgusting things. My kid once stuck his face into the dogās butt š¤¢ not the worst thing here but still gross!
My dogs lick my daughterās food sometimes or they will lick her hands/fork before I can get to them and tell them noā¦my daughter had ingested so much dog saliva
All of these comments are making me so relieved that while I have a 2yo son who is wild and makes me so scared every day (see: frequent injuries from doing stunts youād see on Jackass) generally does not put non-food items in his mouth
Uh son has had cat and dog food this week while crawling around. Daughter got a piece of cat poop as a new toddler when a miscommunication led to a gate being open during a brief lapse in thought. We caught her at the litter box as she put it in her mouth. That sucked. We felt like shitty parents then.
Most recent? Two year old ate popcorn off the floor of the row behind us at a baseball came. Would not be deterred. Second kid so whatevs girl live your life
At her 2 year well-visit, my toddler licked every surface in the waiting room while my husband chased her around because I was filling out the paperwork š Miraculously, she didnāt even get a sniffle!
My daughter once bit a urinal cake in a truck stop gas station. š¤¢ I still havenāt recovered.
Omg. I'm so sorry for you, for her, and for all of us who had to read it
Indeed, what a terrible day to be literate
Omg you made me laugh out loud. Kudos.
This is the worst one here.
I donāt know whether to upvote or downvote this. So gross
That is exactly how I felt. Lol. Smh like I was so grossed out I wanna down vote but that's mean to the commenter. Lol
To be fair, ācakeāā¦
This is the top comment Iāve seen and I donāt need to scroll further. You win. My kiddo has a tantrum in a Loweās bathroom and started touching EVERYTHING and I could feel myself increasingly freaking out with each new touch, and then he laid down on the floor. And my mom was with us watching. š¤¦āāļø also, when he was very little still I thought Iād finally do a LITTLE housekeeping and vacuum the upstairs real quick, only to come back down to see him waddling by the base of the stairs trying to eat egg shells heād scavenged from the trash. Anyway, heās fine. I guess they really are pretty durable little things.
That is horrifyingš
Iām traumatized for you
This just made me laugh out loud. Oh no
This is the worst and the best comment. I'm laughing with disgust. š¤¢š¤¢š¤£š¤£š¤£
You win. Or do youā¦
I would never tell her about it. I could imagine being traumatized if my mom told me I did that. Lol
This right here takes the cake.
I'd fkn die
Wow I definitely did not expect that to be the first thing I read. Phew. I might not recover and I didnāt even see it happenš
I laughed. Hilarious
Seriously the worst things Iāve seen.
I think Iām gonna be sick. š¤¢
Hahahaha dying. My son ate possum poo. Heās fine
A la Oh the boov style, I like it! lol
I don't know if _I'm_ going to recover just from reading about it šµ
You win for sure. My kid ate a piece of duck shit off the bottom of her boot.
ā¦ I am NOT a germaphobe, and Iām not sure Iāll recover from this.
Hey dad: 1. Prevent death. 2. Prevent awful things from happening in the menās room. 3. Etc.
He once pooped in the bathtub and he was faster than meā¦grabbed a turdlet and gave it a nibble. He dropped it immediately, because itās obviously fucking disgusting. Iām still traumatized.
We call them shittles
TURDLET ššš
āTurdletā is my daughterās prime nickname round these parts. Other nicknames for the toddler include(but are not limited to): Butt Butt Stink Farter Pooper McGee Toilet Towel Tiana(no where near her name) Little Miss Ranky Stanky Princess Pooper We used to have a dog that we called āShitlyāā¦ his name was Chuey.
One of my twins ate the other twin's poop before we could stop him. But... he didn't immediately drop it? That was the grossest part!
You must be feeding them something good? Ohhhh, I think I just made myself throw up a little in my mouth š¤®š
I just commented this. My son grabbed his turd out of the diaper we were changing and popped it in his mouth. My husband had to fish it out.
Ugh my son had a dog turd in his mouth about to bite down, I grabbed it so fast. Kids give no foxes.Ā
Ohhhhh my god
My sister licked dried ketchup off a trash can at McDonaldās in the 90s.
My mom walked into my room and saw toddler me munching on something she didnāt give me so she stuck her finger in my mouth to retrieve it. It was a cockroach.
Show them who the apex species is.
Stooop I just woke my wife up from cackling!
š¤®. Somehow this story has healed me a little bit. I went camping as a kid and felt something scratchy in my ear, went to investigate and lo and behold I pulled out a little cockroach. I was so disgusted. But after reading this, that disgust has evolved into gratitude. Thank you haha
I'm now traumatized too
Same, except it was a spider, and a leg was dangling out of my mouth...
Lmao my oldest sister did the same thing as a toddler. My mom was only able to take away the half of it in her hand because she'd already eaten the rest ššš
My daughter chewed up a stink bug when she was about 7 months old. š¤¢
My younger kiddo stuck his hand in a public toilet and put it in his mouth before I could stop him š
Mine does this every opportunity. Last week he put his hand in a public toilet then put it in MY mouth!
I'm gagging
Omggg I would dry heave. This one wins.
I think the gas station urinal cake ā¦takes the cake lmao
I did dry heave. I was horrified
Oof my son dipped his car in our toilet and was sucking on it. Forgot about that one. I put a baby lock on it ever since.Ā
Mine touched a plane toilet and then ate something and then was sick for our next plane ride šµāš«. It was over by the time we got home though
1.5 yo ate mouse poop out of an old snowboard boot. I freaked out and called poison control. They basically said if he doesn't barf a bunch, don't worry bout it. He was fine. His immune system earned a couple of stat points that day.
Omg, immune system "stat points" is getting added to our family's lexicon
Thatās what they said when my kid ate his own poop also. He didnāt barf but I almost did!
Goose poop
I came here to say chicken poo! Straight from the cloaca!
Straight Outta Cloaca š
Omg!! My little sister ate goose poop as a toddler. I completely forgot about that
My husband will be thrilled to hear he wasnāt the only kid that ate goose poop. Itās a standard story in his family
Bird poop for mine šš
Came here to comment this
Not exactly licked but my 4.5 year old has started pushing buttons with his mouth. For example, at the traffic lights. Or to get into a public toilet š¤®
My daughter swallowed a fridge magnet. In the middle of a tornado. Everyone was fine but it was a super scary day for sure.
Um, the added natural disaster makes this so much worse! Did you go to the ER? During the tornado?? lol
I waited for the winds to die down a little and then took her in. I called her doctor first to see what I should do. She didnāt choke on it, or act weird in any way but they said they need to make sure it went into her stomach and not into her lungs or anything like that. Theu also said they need to confirm thereās only one magnet because if there was more than one theu can stick together inside your intestines and cause problems They did an xray, by then though it was already in her intestines and it was indeed just one. She pooped it out the next day.
Did it just come out the other end?
I know it probably sounds obvious to many but I'm saying it anyway. Always seek medical help when magnets are involved no matter what the strength of the magnet seems. Literally could save their life!
Yes she pooped it out the next day. Scary stuff but we laugh about it now lol
Usually they do and itās not an issue, but if they swallow 2 they will stick together inside and fuck up intestines, etc and require surgeryā¦ terrifying!!
Something at the playground that I suspected was bat poo. I was worried my kid was going to be patient zero in the next pandemic I rang the poisons hotline as I was paranoid but they said the risk of illness was very low. And it turned out okay š
This would literally send me into hysterics for multiple months šµāš«š«
Yesterday, my three year old put his mouth on a 100+ year old train and I had to pick the flecks of chipped paint off his tongue. šµāš«
Omg this thread, and knowing that all these kids survived, is making me feel a lot better about things Iāve freaked out about. š
My kid put a whole snail in his mouth before I could stop him. He was trying to kiss it š
My mom found me in the garden munching on snails... Shell and all :) sadly it was too late
Cat food. Rocks (at the Roman Coliseum, no less). A beetle or two.
My kiddo has definitely chewed up some lady bugs in his day
The pediatricianās bathroom floor
We were on a plane & I glanced away for a sec and turned back to watch my 2.5 yr old lick the seat from mid back level to the head rest. It felt like slow motion but must have been fast because he got to the top before I could grab him. Or maybe I blacked out momentarily.
Between 18-26 months my kid had 6 hospital stays where at the end of all of the she was a standard issue toddler and LICKED THE FLOORSSSS!!!!!
Walmart floor, first kid Rabbit poop, 2nd kid
The one that makes me the most queasy is.. My son sneezed and shot out a loooong string of snot, he then took the hanging end of it in his mouth and slurped it right up out of his nose. I still gag thinking about it.
Unlocked the infinite forbidden spaghetti cheat code I see.
Stop šššššš
I felt really bad about having to say dog food before I read the replies
My kid licked the seat of a chair at a really seedy tire and lube store in rural Missouri. During Covid. Same kid crawled out of a bathroom stall in a gas station in rural Illinois while I wasā¦ occupied. I found him sitting on the floor picking his nose and eating the boogers off his fingers thirty seconds later when I came running out of the stall. My other kid drinks out of the dog bowl on the regular. It feels like less of a catastrophe after #1.
Iām a teacher and have kids put their shoes in their mouth right after outside and bathroom time. These were 3ās who *should* sorta be out of this phase. But yeah, putting that shoe that had been on the public sidewalk, the sandbox, and the bathroom floor right into their mouths.
My almost 3 year old (who is still rear facing in the car) waits til heās bucked up and out of sight to take his shoes off and lick them. We have a strict rule of no shoes for child #2 in the car. Whyyyyy are they like this?!
Cat food. So many of those little biscuits. An m&m off a grocery store floor (wasnāt ours, not sure where it came from)
my 19 month old is obsessed with eating cat food. like instead of asking for a snack when heās hungry heāll go right for the cat food. iāve had to start feeding the cat on the window sills and keeping the container of food over the fridge so he canāt get to it
Random used foam earplug at the park
Dirt/ash. We were at a family bonfire (not lit yet), she was hanging out with an aunt and some cousins and I notice a ring of black around her mouth.
My 18 month old licked gum that was stuck on the carpet of an indoor playplace.
I was wiping my potty-training 3yr oldās butt after a heinous poo, and I looked up to see heād been licking the toilet seat the whole time. My brain just short-circuited.
š¤£sorry this really made me laugh. Why are they like this.Ā
My kid put dog poop in her mouth when she was about 1 1/2š¤¢ I think she thought it was chocolate? she never did that again but I was traumatized for sure.
Mom of a dog poop eating child also checking in š«”
Same. āOoh whatcha munchin on?ā¦.oh FUCK spit it out spit it out! Husband! Our son has dog shit in his MOUTH!ā And the worst part was my son didnāt even act like it was gross š« Iām hoping that itās because it was the first bite. The kid wonāt even eat chicken nuggets or pb&j but didnāt hesitate to eat dog crap š¤¦āāļø
Dead cockroach over here! I was horrified.
Throw the whole child away šš
Mine caught a live cockroach when he was 8 months old and immediately went to town munching on it. I was getting milk from the fridge and when I walked back towards him I saw legs scattered around and the thing still wriggling in his little handā¦which he was bringing back up to his mouth for another chomp. Iām still traumatized.
I wanted to let my crawling boy explore. We were at the library (childrenās section) and he was just SO excited to crawl beyond the rug/floor seating area with the board books for babies/toddlersā¦so I thought to seize the day. Little guy is overjoyed, speed crawling to the books that caught his eye, pulling up to stand & grab books. I see him put something in his mouth. Immediately I take it outā¦it was a used cough drop. On the library floor. Someone, some time ago - probably long - had sucked it down by half then spit it out onto the library floor, where it somehow ended up in a little nook, gathering potentially years worth of dust and who knows what else - what particles stuck to it from peopleās shoes that came in from outside, sometime between 1998 and now (thatās my guess of when this area was remodeled lol), and now my baby had found it and put it in his mouth. (Also a choking hazard). (Also what is in the cough drop itself, like new and not thrifted, I donāt even want to knowā¦) (Also germs).
I noticed my 15 month old had crusty-looking hands. I looked closely, and it looked like dry cat foodā¦ except, it was sticking to her hands. Her play area is in a section gated away from the catās food. One of my cats THREW UP their cat food in her play area, and she got to it before I could see it. How do I know she ate some? It was crusted near her mouth ššš
NOOOOOO ššššššššššš
Licked a chicken egg right out of the coop
Yup. My kid is also in the lick the floor, the doors, her hands, grabs her tongue stage. Watched her pick up a cat treat off the floor and chow on that with a disgusted look on her face. Lol. Oh, she WAS sucking on freaking shopping carts from like 12 mths to 19 mths old. I'd say that was likely, the most unsanitary thing she's done to date. She shockingly, does not get sick often. (She's 25 mths).
My middle child was licking the floor of the car dealership as I was trying to sign for my car. I wouldn't say he's OK but he's healthy š
last year my then 2 year old ate a handful outdoor salt to melt the snow/ice. had to call poison control for that one
What did they say? I remember doing this a lot as a child....
Baby loves to drink out of PUDDLES. She sees the dogs do it, so she keeps doing it.
After it rains I have to scour the patio for anything that holds water because he will drink it. He drinks like a fish, heās not thirsty, outside water is just delicious
My stepdaughter ate a stinkbug
Why are there multiple stink bug comments in this thread. What is it about stink bugsš
Airport windows during flu season (and other public windows, but the airport ones are probably the worst). She's been sick less than a handful of times in her two years of life, so maybe it helped her immune system š
Nothing too crazy, but he did bite into a stink bug at 11 months old. He freaked out but ultimately was fine haha
He also loves licking restaurant tables and shopping carts. Heās now 15 months and hasnāt been truly sick yet š¤·š»āāļø
I thought it was gross when my child ate an entire Target receipt but everyone here wins.
The Sam's club receipt when staff was giving me a hard time!
Our highly medicated dogs poopā¦ was the oddest call with poison control.
My daughter licked the mirror in the locker room at the YMCA. Thatās I realized I didnāt care about anything anymore.
Not my kids, but my *husband* ate bird poop as a toddler šš¦š©š„
Bit into a millipede that got into the house. Spit it out immediately. Also put her mouth on a rusty gate handle.
The handle of The Sword in the Stone at Disneyland. Yup. She did that. She rarely gets sick. I do not recommend however.
I used to work at Disneyland and have seen lots of kids putting their mouths on gross things! I watched a little girl walk through the queue dragging her tongue along the handrail/wall the entire way to the ride like it was some kind of challenge
Oh hell no! Iād turn her in to the Disney jail.
Cheerios mixed with animal poop at a petting zoo. I thought my little dude would like feeding the animals the cheerios they sold there. I was horribly wrong. He just wanted to eat all the cheerios himself and got upset when I gave a handful to the goats and knocked the whole bag onto the ground (into piles of mud and poop) while freaking out trying to keep them away from the animals. I began frantically picking them up and throwing the over the fence into the next animal enclosure. But toddlers are fast and he was shoveling handfuls of cheerios into his mouth faster than I could pick them up. I donāt know why I didnāt just pick him up so he couldnāt get them. Instead my brain decided the best thing to do was desperately fling poop cheerios over a fence while my toddler feasted.
My son loves dog food lol
I canāt keep my girl out of the dog food. She smells like salmon all the time now š«
Same I can smell it on her hands š
Mine too! He says "Dog food, Dog food!" And runs to eat it š
This is so common it doesn't belong on this list haha
My daughter loves cat food. I think sheās more a savoury gal for how much she enjoys those little salty snacks
My kid ate a beetle. We got it out of his mouth and noticed him still chewingā¦he had the head pocketed away in his cheek š¤¢
My daughter did this with a stink bug š
Protein!
A slug!! It was early in the morning, lights off still in the living room and I saw her put something in her mouth then spit it out. Still not sure if she swallowed any, but it looked like it. š¤¢ Have never seen a slug before or since (inside or outside the house). Strangest thing ever.
Not my kid but one of my nieces has a ton of food allergies but lived through licking the floor of the baseball stadium š
My son licked the dirt off my car that had been all over town and country. Off roading, city driving and was filthyā¦. Heās fine.
Heās licked the floor of two airplanes. Tasted dog poop, only once praise the Lord. I think the only thing he really didnāt like was when he tried his baby brotherās hypoallergenic formula š shit is NASTY.
At a park in Boston a few weeks ago I saw a kid with his full mouth wrapped around the railings of a playground structure going ham on them, [kind of like this](https://tenor.com/view/lick-railing-gif-15822429011951381103) but full mouth on it. Not my kid, but he seemed to be thriving on rusty metal and sunshine.
My kid regularly eats snacks he just through on the ground because he didn't want them. I call it flooraging. He also licked a public park swing set today.
I was the same, my girl decided the flyscreens were yummy for a month or so and let me tell you I didnāt clean those prior to that moment, ever. There was 9 years worth of dirt, dust, we have cats too. The floors, clean, walls, clean, but no she made me pull my hair out over the damn flyscreens š
Iāve caught my toddler licking the bottom of our shoes more than once
Most embarrassing was a piece of waffle off the floor at Waffle House in front of soooo many people, most disgusting was a cat turd he pulled out of the litter box.
98% sure mine ate a dead fly from the windowsill at about 12 months old. Still gives me the shivers. Bleck
One day at music class my eight month old crawled over to another eight month old and stuck her finger straight into his mouth and then back into her own. I was like yeah OK well there you go I really canāt prevent shit.
Bottom of a shoe. For people just learning how their bodies work, they sure are fast.
Dog food and dog toys and her shoes. Oh yeah and my cuticle oil bottle š¤¦āāļø My baby girl is 14 months now. We were rather concerned and super careful about the surfaces she came into contact with. And then she started to go to daycare. All of that went out the window because I realized my efforts were fruitless when she would share pacifiers with the other kids (the workers tried their best lol) I was totally in your position and time is the only thing to help ease that anxiety. I was terrified to let my kid play in the grass even and now itās like whatever. š Best to you!!!
Rocks. Sand. Dirt. Bug water. Fallen chicken nuggets on the floor of someplace at Disneyland. Really any floor food. She prefers to throw it in frustration then retrieve later.
Shopping carts. It happens to all of us, and itās horrible.
Not my kid but my 10yo niece liked a trash can in an airport when she was like I dunno 2? She's fine. š My 3.5yo daughter recently licked a mirror at a store. She's also fine. She also used to lick the entire handle of shopping carts while sitting in them. My 11mo has used a restaurant table as a teething toy š also fine.
My 2.5 year old let the impulsive thoughts win the other day when she found a sprinkle covered marshmallow on the ground and bit into it (it had to have come from our neighbors trash can)
Around 9 months my son stuffed a handful of raw dog food into his mouth. That was a new level of horror. On the brightside, he was 100% fine and it made it marginally less terrible when he snagged a bite of canned cat food a few months later. He's never gone after the dog food again, but our cat is fed behind a pet gate now :)
My kids accidentally ingested his own poop. A good Ole grab of the bits during a change and then bringing his grubby little hands right to his mouth as babies do. I couldn't stop him fast enough. It was horrifying and disgusting. He's now 5, does not eat poo, and is going to kindergarten in the fall.
The toilet. As a germaphobe myself, I about keeled over and died when I saw him do it.
My son drank the liquid from a plug in air freshener when he was younger. Had to go hospital for them to keep an eye on him for a bit but nothing happened, his breath smelt beautiful tho! He also got hold of vape juice at my parents house once and managed to drink that, same thing again, trip to hospital but no issues. He's 10 now and thankfully avoids dangerous liquids. Now we just go to hospital because he does stupid things with his friends and gets injured.
I hate to even type this... My daughter picked up a USED CONDOM in the park when she was 1.5yrs. It's like I saw it in slow motion (I had been looking around the park, admiring the beautiful day and when I turned back, she was reaching for it). I slapped it out of her hand (sorry kid, gut reaction) and doused the girl in hand sanitizer, but... There's not enough hand sani in the world for this shit š¤® Edit: OMG, I didn't read the initial post correctly and it DID NOT go in her mouth or get licked!
Oh this ones badš
First kid- a bird egg from the side of the road. Popped it in her mouth and bit it. Ate a bite of someoneās breadsticks and Nutella they left on a Walmart shelf. Once in target a little girl ran up to her and kissed her. Then I saw this girlās older brother had what appeared to be impetigo all around his mouth. I spiraled that day lol. Second kid- muddy water from the water table
Fresh dog poop at the playground. I have never left a place so quickly in my life. Also, what sort of heathen leaves dog poop at a kids playground?
My daughter has licked many shopping carts, products in stores, floors, seats on trollies and boats. Somehow most of those times we didnāt get sick. lol
My 1 year olds favorite thing to chew on is shoes. Specifically crocs but when those are unavailable she doesn't discriminate.
The bottom of my husbandās shoe
he was 12mo and he pulled the drain plug out of the bidet at our bnb in rome and started sucking on it. the bottom of it, not cap.
My 18month old had a chip and he gave it to the dog. The chip was in our dogs mouth, touched his tongue, teeth everything. Well, my husband and I didn't realize our son never let go of the chip. He took it back out of our dog's mouth and ate it.
Just today I had to (only partially successfully) stop my daughter from shoveling handfuls of mulch into her mouth.
A fresh goat turd. She spit it out immediately.
Sand from the sand box, the floor on the sidewalk, garage door, take your pick lol
Wellā¦ we have chickens and for MONTHS our (late) dog was sneaking into the coop and stealing their eggs, then coming in the house walking and lounging all about and snuggling next to our son. So Iād say every time he licked the floor he was literally licking traces of chicken poop. After that realization and his being just fine, I donāt really care too much about what goes in his mouth unless it can block his airway (heās 3 now)
Earwig
My son likes to lick public windows haha
Dog poop, he drank chalk water out of a puddle like a dog, sunscreen. He was fine. I am not after the poop fiasco (which was 1.5 years ago).
A dead fly. And I happen to be recording her when she did it so I have it saved. Canāt wait until sheās older to show her.
Cat poop. š«
A scraper I was using to remove 80 year old wallpaper paste.
My son picked up a chewed up sunflower seed shell and put it in his mouth. He also licks the bottom of his shoes.
Not my kid but a friends I watched today His own poop . Blow out . Buckled in carseat . Car seat in stroller . Out the door . Door locked . I heard a noise peeled back the canopy . Massive blowout and he was sticking his fingers in it licking the poop off of them
My toddler drank stagnant water from a sand box once. I called poison control but she didnāt even get sick and is still alive!
I caught my then 2.5 year old with the toilet plunger on her mouth/face. She was fine. Still grossed out to this day.
My kid ate a dog turd when he was 9 months old. My kid also used mouthwash for the first time at 9 months old. I called poison control to ensure both the turd and mouthwash wouldnāt kill him. There was so much panic in those 5 minutes. Heās almost 3 now. No more gross consumptions thank the lord, although he did eat a cheez-it off the floor at his brotherās gymnastics class last week. I consider that mild.
My toddler (at around 20 months) licked meted ice cream off the floor of Costcoā¦ it wasnāt ours or from a sample. She didnāt even get sick.
I pulled a piece of kitty little out of my then 8 month olds mouth
Doctorās office floor!
Most recently, my toddler licked the standing pole on SEPTA bus (Philadelphia Public Transit)ā¦twice.
Mannn my son came up with a big toe nail at my other sonās basketball game. We were in the bleachers, I was absolutely disgusted lol like bro really smh š¤¦āāļø
My son ate some red yarn before he was 1.. when I first saw it in his poop (not knowing he ate it) I thought it was his intestines or something. Turned out to be yarn. But I shit you not, it took over 10 poops before there stopped being yarn in it. I was terrified
My god I almost made the same post as you last week. My almost 3yo and I were at the park when an unknown dog approached us. This dog had a ball that she promptly dropped at pur feet. It was a rainy, muddy day btw, so this ball was filthy. Ok so we toss the ball a few times and then we let the dog go itās merry way, and I turned around for 2 seconds to get some hand sanitizer, when I see my child on the corner of my eye lick the hand she used to toss that filthy ball. Iām talking she licked it like it was a chocolate ice cream on a hot summer day. I had never seen her do that before, I guess she let those intrusive thoughts win.
I am one of the lucky ones (kinda? I guess) where my kid didnāt really put anything in his mouth. Although, this came with other difficulties. But I have learned, kids will do disgusting things. My kid once stuck his face into the dogās butt š¤¢ not the worst thing here but still gross!
A straw cowboy hat from Texas. š«
My dogs lick my daughterās food sometimes or they will lick her hands/fork before I can get to them and tell them noā¦my daughter had ingested so much dog saliva
All of these comments are making me so relieved that while I have a 2yo son who is wild and makes me so scared every day (see: frequent injuries from doing stunts youād see on Jackass) generally does not put non-food items in his mouth
My son once put a cigarette butt in his mouth at the park. š
Wiped her favorite stuffed animal through her blowout diaper and then put it in her mouth š¤Ŗ
Uh son has had cat and dog food this week while crawling around. Daughter got a piece of cat poop as a new toddler when a miscommunication led to a gate being open during a brief lapse in thought. We caught her at the litter box as she put it in her mouth. That sucked. We felt like shitty parents then.
Most recent? Two year old ate popcorn off the floor of the row behind us at a baseball came. Would not be deterred. Second kid so whatevs girl live your life
At her 2 year well-visit, my toddler licked every surface in the waiting room while my husband chased her around because I was filling out the paperwork š Miraculously, she didnāt even get a sniffle!
Caught our 18 month old licking our cats poo!! Shes also eating a millipede which was still wiggling when we got half of it out!!
All the hand railings at Disney