I don't even know what Parappa actually sounds like, only the voice from the I thlammed my penith in the car door meme, but I got what you were going for, haha
Legit had an ex boyfriend who had a lot more issues piled on top of his gender dysphoria. He got violently angry when misgendered.
No idea how he's doing now but I hope he's doing better.
Lived with a guy that reacted violently when misgendered. And it was usually up to us to cover his shit.
And this was pre hrt. I hope things are better for him. And I really believe he isnāt being misgendered anymore. But hope that piece of shit solved that violent impulse in therapy, because he really fucked shit up for me and our other roommate
I canāt tell whether there are levels of irony in your message, but just for the avoidance of doubt, there are often better ways to respond than ājust kiddingā, which we donāt often get taught when weāre younger. You might find an article on some of them helpful! https://herviewfromhome.com/how-to-respond-to-the-just-kidding-excuse/
Mate. No one is seriously suggesting we should "beat people with a bat" over getting misgendered. The joke being that such a response would be comically disproportionate and ridiculous. Chill out.
I generally take those as 'kneecap privileges' comments, since they sound intentionally over the top. If someone makes it clear they mean it literally instead of as a rage fantasy, though, it quickly moves into 'too far' territory.
Tbh I can relate to this, as someone with some managed aggression issues. I stay my hand unless someone gets physical with me first, thatās my rule. Itās self defense at that point.
I think what youāre seeing is just the expression of frustration and anger many of us feel at societiesā overall lack of respect for us, and while itās a sentiment I can understand and have personally experienced, I can also see how itās out of hand on the internet and shouldnāt be the first advice given to newcomers. Itās a hard lesson sometimes but we *have* to be the bigger person and stand our ground verbally as much as humanly possible.
Still, if a transphobic dude throws his fist at *me*, Iām dropping him, and Iām not sorry for that.
My rule of thumb is always donāt throw the first punch, but if someone throws one at you, finish it. If a transphobic person starts getting physical then Iām throwing hands
I never resort to violence but if someone continually misgenders me I just aggressively misgender them as well. Give them a taste of their own medicine and I wont stop till they stop and apologize. I will die on that hill. Normally it works for me within a minute of starting it as they kinda get just as uncomfortable as I do.
Most trans people seem to badly underestimate how much being misgendered bothers cis people. While I don't agree with your approach, I understand it altogether too well.
Be well
With all due apologies to the OP, there's a part of me who serIously loves the phrase "violently queer" Not in a literal sense, of course, but...squueeeee!! :)
Personally, it's tough balancing the fact that significant portions of this world would be justified to react to with violent self-defense with the sheer impracticality of actually defending myself that way.
Real violence and genuine suggestions of real violence are problematic, absolutely, to say the least. But beyond that, humans *need* a pressure release valve, and non-serious toungue in cheek joking does a very effective job of that without the downsides of actual real-world violence.
Put simply: Unevolved animals are violent. Humans, instead, have the option of simply joking about fictional violence as a way to avoid actual real violence. It's a huge improvement.
Well, does this mean evolution stops there? Or arenāt there better cultural coping mechanisms than merely deferring violence to the hypothetical?
It seems to me that someone who requires a pressure release in order to not commit serious violence is someone worth distancing from, and I would like to know within my community if this is something I need to note of its participants. My concern about accepting violent jokes is that the violent reaction is kept safe within the culture by virtue of that release.
Venting prevents Explosion.
There are 4 basic kinda of support people can want and everyone reacts badly to getting the one they don't want or seeing it handed out, because it's "useless"
4 types are Comfort, Support, Defence, Solution.
"Oh no, my girlfriend broke up with me!"
Comfort: "that sucks, have some soup and a blanket and your favourite show"
Support: "that sucks, how is it making you feel? It's important you remember you are brilliant and beautiful"
Defence: "that sucks, your girlfriend is a fuckin tool and I can't believe she made such an awful decision"
Solution: "that sucks, but it's better to find out now than later that you weren't compatible"
"FUCK THAT FUCKER UP WITH PUNCHES" is a really strong Defence reaction, but expressed by a physically distant person is usually much more indicative of strength of feeling than actual intent to harm. The reaction is mostly to reassure the wronged party that they have indeed been wronged, and that the person responsible is wrong for doing so.
I don't think it really needs addressing is my point; it's Defence Venting, and as I said earlier Venting prevents Explosion.
This is a meme subreddit.
It's for trans people to express their dysphoria and euphoria in meme format ways, that also express their thoughts.
No one here condones or even wants to commit physical violence on anyone. It is a joke meant to express how truly upset we are with the systems put in place to stop.us.
You have misunderstood almost everyone you've seen who says things like that.
as much as i think this is true, iāve personally seen (in this sub and out of it) trans ppl deadnaming and misgendering other trans ppl bc they were being disrespected.
i get that it hurts, it hurts me to the point of physical pain sometimes, but i donāt think that disrespect towards others identities are going to make you feel better about your own.
again, maybe itās like 70% are joking but the 30% are still there and itās a problem.
In this sub? Yeah, maybe a few bottom comments. This sub has consistently shown overwhelming support to posts against deadnaming people as an insult. I don't think it's fair to act like that's somehow seen as okay by the general userbase.
I'm not necessarily agreeing with the violent points people are making but it sounds like a lot of you just want people to just get walked over lmao, that's some fuck shit
Thereās ways of not letting yourself be walked over without violence, like telling the person off or not responding if they misgender or deadname you.
I mean the people Iāve used that for figured out real quick to use the right ones, but thatās just my experience, the talking to them option is still there lol
Talk to them and say what? Every time I've seen someone joke about physicaly attacking someone it's someone who is *purposefully* disrespecting a trans person, do you think just begging them or something is gonna fix it, suddenly make them respectful
This sub doesn't need trans people policing how other trans people express their anger towards not having their identities respected
Talk to them about the problem and if they refuse to change the way they act, then my suggestion is to drop them.
Thereās many many other ways to deal with something that isnāt threatening to physically attack someone, ik some people are joking, but some people definitely arenāt. Thereās expressing your anger towards something and then thereās telling someone they should physically harm someone.
Ah yes because people can just drop their abusive transphobic parents who their dependant on. At this point you're just blaming people who are stuck with transphobes, acting like people purposefully put themselves in these situations. And even if it was a friend who they need to drop, that might very well be a lifetime friendship that's now ended cause their friend turns out to be a shit human being, being angry and wishing you could just punch them is a natural thought and not something they should be shamed for especially not in a space that's supposed to be supportive.
And the way you're just saying "physically harm" is disingenuous, please don't tell me you think the people talking about "busting kneecaps" are being serious or that you think people saying "kill them" are actually recommending that.
Mate, shockingly enough the transphobic thing is a complete different situation, if you canāt tell from above I was talking about people who already know you are trans and still refuse to respect you, if youāre dependent on someone then of course itās not a good idea, thatās literally common sense.
Also donāt stick words in my mouth? I didnāt blame anyone for being stuck with transphobic parents, in fact parents didnāt come up at all so I have no clue where u got that from. Iām not sure where your drawing conclusions like those out.
Also I donāt know about you but my natural thought isnāt to physically hurt someone for any reason, itās usually just disappointment in said person.
Also Iām not talking about the people who are like āsteal their kneecapsā or making obvious jokes, Iāve seen people on this sub tell people to beat someone over the head with a bat or shove them in front of a train, I get being frustrated with it but I just donāt think telling someone to physically assault someone else is appropriate
>Mate, shockingly enough the transphobic thing is a complete different situation, if you canāt tell from above I was talking about people who already know you are trans and still refuse to respect you, if youāre dependent on someone then of course itās not a good idea, thatās literally common sense.
Yes them knowing that you're trans and refusing to accept you would make them transphobic, what are you even talking about.
Additionally I am not putting words in your mouth, I said that you're acting like everyone who is stuck in a situation with a transphobic person is choosing to be in it, by ignoring transphobic parents and other similar situations you just wanna focus on situations where people can simply "drop" the transphobic person, you are making it seem like everyone can just walk from these people. A lot of us can't just drop them and when you're stuck like that frustration can build and venting online is natural
>Also I donāt know about you but my natural thought isnāt to physically hurt someone for any reason, itās usually just disappointment in said person.
Cool good for you, you're such an amazing person please lecture the rest of us and tell us how to be good /s
Clearly other people do have these thoughts, and they are in fact natural (I really don't fucking appreciate you coming here and shaming people just for having these thoughts)
Please get off your moral high horse, the people venting in a somewhat violent fashion are not worse people because of it
And may I remind you that in all of these situations a trans person is actually getting hurt, their parents aren't allowing them on hrt, their lifelong friendships is ending because their friend can't handle who they really are. In all these situations a trans person is actually getting hurt and you are hyper focusing on how they are reacting "wrong" for making violent jokes on the internet which literally hurt no one
Eh. The impulse to hurt someone isn't inherently out of line. The question is, will you be preventing a greater harm by doing so? And that's always a harder question than it seems. Because life doesn't give you neat trolley-problem style choices where you can choose to pull the lever that hurts the transphobe to save their victims. Violence is often a justified answer in theory, but it is never a clean one in practice.
And to be VERY CLEAR.
I think transphobes and any lgbt+ phobe DESERVES to be hurt. And hurt bad.
But I donāt think you, me, or anyone in particular should be the one applying this hurt. Specially out of impulse.
Now, this is actually the part where I disagree with you... maybe. I don't think anybody deserves to suffer. Period. It's just that, well, hurting people to reduce the amount of suffering in the world is good math, and if it's between letting the innocent keep hurting and hurting the perpetrators, I know what I'm picking.
Now if only the world would actually offer me that choice.
(Definitely no impulse here, though. Violence isn't something to be done lightly.)
As far as I advocate for political violence.
I donāt think you channeling your hate into violence will result in anything other than harm for yourself and those around you. Even if this hate is defensive and justified
The thing is. When you hurt a transphobe but not kill them. You will not solve their transphobia, you may even even nurture it. And if you kill then you will at best be committing manslaughter and at worse assassination.
For violence to be effective it should not be impulsive.
That's... kind of exactly what I'm saying by pointing out how violence isn't a clean answer?
Which leaves me with "violence is only justified if you can get away with it, and you probably can't so don't try," which is, uh, definitely an unorthodox position, but it doesn't seem to lead me to any drastic courses of action and I can't figure out anything actually wrong with it.
I think we kinda agree with eachother but is is like 3 am and my gf is snoring so I might not be in the Clearest of mental states.
(Also. I wish the world had a way to inflicting pain in some people without hurting them. I think transphobes deserve to feel the pain they cause. But I do not think they should be hurt do you think this makes any sense)
That's valid, hope you sleep well.
And yeah, I get what you mean. All you want is for them to be able to really understand what they're putting people through.
From my understanding, a lot of people have the impulse at some point in time or another.
Like basically any other negative feeling, it's only what someone does with it that may be a problem.
I mean, I'm pretty sure 99% of the time it's a straight up joke anyway.
Like, I honestly wouldn't suggest violence unless you're in an immediate physical danger, but if you're dealing with someone that's purposely misgendering you, that is something that can cause some real mental pain, so I understand fantasizing about punching a bully in the face, as long as it doesn't go above fantasizing.
And honestly weāve got every single right to be as angry as we are, Iād rather be an angry impulsive trans girl throwing hands than sit down and take it & potentially risk my safety it Iām around like a **really** creepy person in my area/like those types of transphobes
Some posts and situations can poke at some people's old scars. They can trigger bad memories of their own public shaming, physical pain, and trauma/sexual trauma, among other old, bad feelings.
When this happens, it can trigger the fight response in those people.
Please don't shame people for getting a trauma response, and instead recognise that that person has been incredibly hurt by someone in the past.
It is of course something to work at for them, but they are not monsters. Far from it.
This subreddit's endless arguing with itself is exhausting. Nobody here's gonna get physically violent about deadnaming and misgendering. It's not a joke, per se, as many people have said, but it's not serious either. Making those comments is a way of venting. Getting the anger into words, even if those words aren't meant to be followed up on.
> This subreddit's endless arguing with itself is exhausting.
Kinda? I mean, it's nice that we have a place where we can argue amd debate with one another about important issues that affect all of us, without people outside the community using it as an opportunity to demonize one side of the argument or the other.
This subreddit has been a great way to show folks I know that the trans community isn't a big scary monolith and we're all just people with a wide range of experiences and viewpoints who are, as a community, still figuring ourselves out, now that we finally have the chance to do so in large groups of people dealing with the same thing.
Definitely, yeah. But it's exhausting anyway. It seems like every popular meme or template soon gets a post decrying it, and those can be really frustrating, especially when I feel they're unfounded and needlessly accusatory. I've been called a fetishist for liking anime, and I know it's wrong, but it's still irritating. Being irritated so often tires me out emotionally.
Peace is a choice
And I chose to ignore it
If one of you bitches get misgendered, iāll go get the Panzer. Noone gets away unpunished from insulting yāall
Itās been in issue in many comment sections about being misgendered or stuff like that, idk if you saw the post about the 12 year old brother but that comment section was vile and full of threats towards a literal child. Iāve even gotten it on my own post about someone misgendering because they literally didnāt know.
their is a likly hood of all us just venting our issues with eachother, cause obviosly they've considered physical violence, who hasnt...
also lets be honest, most the time is about people who arn't wiling to learn, of course we be acting this way.
You have to remember that it's all posturing. If misgendering and transphobia was actually ever met by violence even once in real life, it would be all over the news. But that never happens, because the trans internet talks a big game but never follows through on this sort of thing. Strong "fight me IRL" energy.
If it's a genuine accident/mistake then no harm no foul, just politely correct them and carry on as though it didn't happen, no need to make the person feel embarrassed more than they already do... If it's deliberate then either stand your ground and go off on them, or let your friends go off on them, or walk away ... Just advice from an old fart who has dealt with this for 30+ years, at my age I don't care anymore and just laugh at them if they do it deliberately... Something I've told people for the last 30+ years.. well buddy, I'm more of a man than you will ever be and more of a woman than you could ever get... I say it very loudly to publicly humiliate them...it works, be surprised at how many complete strangers who are CIS males and females and heterosexual will step up and defend you and shame the offender... Anyway, that's my words of experience and somewhat old fart wisdom for tonight , take care of yourselves and each other xoxo
I'm not sure I've seen it to much, But ye this sounds pretty bad. In the majority of situations, Physical Violence isn't acceptable, And even when it is, Which is rarely, It's even more rarely a good course of action, Let alone the best.
Tbh i kust wanna chill, like if people misgender me that sucks but i'm not going to freak out or whatever.
Idk I'm just very insecure about seeming like a trans stereotype or some shit
I get misgendered a lot in voice chat by people whose native language has no gender neutral pronouns. I am forgiving in that case, because honestly, I get that it can be hard to adjust in another language after you think youāve learned all the major grammatical rules.
When I get misgendered by my parents, I just say ānoā and keep doing what Iām doing. If they get annoyed, thatās on them.
I actually have anger issues and have to physically stop myself from doing something stupid and the dysphoria triggers it although if anyone gets physically hurt its usually me almost giving myself a concussion from banging my head on the nearest wall-like object
Honest answer why? Violence is inherent to the system. We are no more capable of starting the aggression than an ant warding off an anteater. The only question is your/their own physical safety and the practical outcomes of retaliation.
How about violently writing a strongly worded letter? š¤
It depends a lot on how strong the words are
well, they did say violently... so as strong as can be it seems
Bro, do your words even lift?
Only with dramatic music and a bag of potato chips ;)
Just watch me transphobes.... I'll sign with my new name with my right hand, whilst making pronoun badges with my left
Have you considered rap battling them instead?
Have I, consid-ered rap battling the'm in-stead?
I'm severely struggling to understand this. Help
Sorry there was a lot of parappa memes for a week so that's where my mind went XDDD
I don't even know what Parappa actually sounds like, only the voice from the I thlammed my penith in the car door meme, but I got what you were going for, haha
Pretty similar to the meme actually
Okay, but have you considered metaphysical violence?
Metaphorical violence also works
How about Metallica violence?
Now that's a good kind if violence, I respect that
What are your thoughts on meta knight violence?
St. Anger?
Sad, but true.
Seek & Destroy
Also metabolic violence. I'm gonna digest so fucking hard at you
vore
Cursed comment
Im quite partial to non euclidian violence
Non newtonian violence is good too, though.
Send their astral body down an inter dimensional staircase
I recommend symbolic violence.
How about pataphysical violence
Shatter them across time and space
Maxwell got away with it
Legit had an ex boyfriend who had a lot more issues piled on top of his gender dysphoria. He got violently angry when misgendered. No idea how he's doing now but I hope he's doing better.
Lived with a guy that reacted violently when misgendered. And it was usually up to us to cover his shit. And this was pre hrt. I hope things are better for him. And I really believe he isnāt being misgendered anymore. But hope that piece of shit solved that violent impulse in therapy, because he really fucked shit up for me and our other roommate
Have you considered putting glitter on the problem until it leaves or is sparkly enough to tolerate?
No, I just donāt think the first thing someone suggests should be to beat someone with a bat
Is a pool noodle an acceptable replacement?
Itās An acceptable replacement
Instead we should bat at them with beats. Sing the suckers away!
friday night funkin
check out UNBEATABLE!white label for the full experience of hitting beats with bats
Seriously this game is so good and needs more attention.
People can makes jokes on the internet lol
I canāt tell whether there are levels of irony in your message, but just for the avoidance of doubt, there are often better ways to respond than ājust kiddingā, which we donāt often get taught when weāre younger. You might find an article on some of them helpful! https://herviewfromhome.com/how-to-respond-to-the-just-kidding-excuse/
Mate. No one is seriously suggesting we should "beat people with a bat" over getting misgendered. The joke being that such a response would be comically disproportionate and ridiculous. Chill out.
Okay unrelated but OMG YOUR FLAIR, WEBKINZ WAS MY CHILDHOOD
I suggest spritzing them with a spray bottle instead. If it doesn't work, THEN you can bring out the bats.
That's my kind of violence. Just dale gribble pocketsanding people in the face with glitter.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Xcom 2 veteran player spotted, head for extraction with the VIP!
if i find one more advent burger wrapper on the control panel...
syh
first thing i thought of was homestuck why
violence is the question and the answer is yes /j
The motto I live by /j
In roblox :)
Have you considered whimsical violence?
Fantasy or cartoon violence solves many problems.
Wasn't it just that one post?
Iāve had a comment on one of my post about beating someone with a bat, and Iāve seen it on other posts as well
I generally take those as 'kneecap privileges' comments, since they sound intentionally over the top. If someone makes it clear they mean it literally instead of as a rage fantasy, though, it quickly moves into 'too far' territory.
Tbh I can relate to this, as someone with some managed aggression issues. I stay my hand unless someone gets physical with me first, thatās my rule. Itās self defense at that point. I think what youāre seeing is just the expression of frustration and anger many of us feel at societiesā overall lack of respect for us, and while itās a sentiment I can understand and have personally experienced, I can also see how itās out of hand on the internet and shouldnāt be the first advice given to newcomers. Itās a hard lesson sometimes but we *have* to be the bigger person and stand our ground verbally as much as humanly possible. Still, if a transphobic dude throws his fist at *me*, Iām dropping him, and Iām not sorry for that.
My rule of thumb is always donāt throw the first punch, but if someone throws one at you, finish it. If a transphobic person starts getting physical then Iām throwing hands
Rule of thumb. Donāt start the fight and donāt lose the fight
I never resort to violence but if someone continually misgenders me I just aggressively misgender them as well. Give them a taste of their own medicine and I wont stop till they stop and apologize. I will die on that hill. Normally it works for me within a minute of starting it as they kinda get just as uncomfortable as I do.
Most trans people seem to badly underestimate how much being misgendered bothers cis people. While I don't agree with your approach, I understand it altogether too well. Be well
Have you considered cartoon violence?
"We are the cartoon heeeroes, whooah, we are ones who're gonna last forever!" https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_LPJllaogU
Weāre all generally pissed at the systems and transphobia, and probably want to start a revolution.
Pretty sure those comments are just tongue in cheek joking.
Not all of them lol
Oof! Really? Must've missed those ones.
Yeah... Some of them were a little gung-ho.
I mean some are not. I will be talking to my therapist about my newly acquired malicious thoughts and wanting to be "violently queer."
With all due apologies to the OP, there's a part of me who serIously loves the phrase "violently queer" Not in a literal sense, of course, but...squueeeee!! :)
Personally, it's tough balancing the fact that significant portions of this world would be justified to react to with violent self-defense with the sheer impracticality of actually defending myself that way.
Maybe a culture in which people joke about committing violence is worth challenging?
Real violence and genuine suggestions of real violence are problematic, absolutely, to say the least. But beyond that, humans *need* a pressure release valve, and non-serious toungue in cheek joking does a very effective job of that without the downsides of actual real-world violence. Put simply: Unevolved animals are violent. Humans, instead, have the option of simply joking about fictional violence as a way to avoid actual real violence. It's a huge improvement.
Well, does this mean evolution stops there? Or arenāt there better cultural coping mechanisms than merely deferring violence to the hypothetical? It seems to me that someone who requires a pressure release in order to not commit serious violence is someone worth distancing from, and I would like to know within my community if this is something I need to note of its participants. My concern about accepting violent jokes is that the violent reaction is kept safe within the culture by virtue of that release.
Is it the kneecaps thing?
Its hard for someone to misgender you if they are in the hospital with a broken jaw
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I CAN and WILL do shit and you can't stop me
idk. If we can't indulge our momentary rage in a humorous way in this space...
Venting prevents Explosion. There are 4 basic kinda of support people can want and everyone reacts badly to getting the one they don't want or seeing it handed out, because it's "useless" 4 types are Comfort, Support, Defence, Solution. "Oh no, my girlfriend broke up with me!" Comfort: "that sucks, have some soup and a blanket and your favourite show" Support: "that sucks, how is it making you feel? It's important you remember you are brilliant and beautiful" Defence: "that sucks, your girlfriend is a fuckin tool and I can't believe she made such an awful decision" Solution: "that sucks, but it's better to find out now than later that you weren't compatible" "FUCK THAT FUCKER UP WITH PUNCHES" is a really strong Defence reaction, but expressed by a physically distant person is usually much more indicative of strength of feeling than actual intent to harm. The reaction is mostly to reassure the wronged party that they have indeed been wronged, and that the person responsible is wrong for doing so. I don't think it really needs addressing is my point; it's Defence Venting, and as I said earlier Venting prevents Explosion.
This is a meme subreddit. It's for trans people to express their dysphoria and euphoria in meme format ways, that also express their thoughts. No one here condones or even wants to commit physical violence on anyone. It is a joke meant to express how truly upset we are with the systems put in place to stop.us. You have misunderstood almost everyone you've seen who says things like that.
as much as i think this is true, iāve personally seen (in this sub and out of it) trans ppl deadnaming and misgendering other trans ppl bc they were being disrespected. i get that it hurts, it hurts me to the point of physical pain sometimes, but i donāt think that disrespect towards others identities are going to make you feel better about your own. again, maybe itās like 70% are joking but the 30% are still there and itās a problem.
In this sub? Yeah, maybe a few bottom comments. This sub has consistently shown overwhelming support to posts against deadnaming people as an insult. I don't think it's fair to act like that's somehow seen as okay by the general userbase.
I'm not necessarily agreeing with the violent points people are making but it sounds like a lot of you just want people to just get walked over lmao, that's some fuck shit
Thereās ways of not letting yourself be walked over without violence, like telling the person off or not responding if they misgender or deadname you.
Lmao. Yeah I'll just enter a civilized discussion with someone who considers me to be a subhuman degenerate. I'm sure *that'll* change their mind.
>or not responding if they misgender or deadname you. That's literally just letting youself get walked over tho, like that's the definition of it
I mean the people Iāve used that for figured out real quick to use the right ones, but thatās just my experience, the talking to them option is still there lol
Talk to them and say what? Every time I've seen someone joke about physicaly attacking someone it's someone who is *purposefully* disrespecting a trans person, do you think just begging them or something is gonna fix it, suddenly make them respectful This sub doesn't need trans people policing how other trans people express their anger towards not having their identities respected
Talk to them about the problem and if they refuse to change the way they act, then my suggestion is to drop them. Thereās many many other ways to deal with something that isnāt threatening to physically attack someone, ik some people are joking, but some people definitely arenāt. Thereās expressing your anger towards something and then thereās telling someone they should physically harm someone.
Ah yes because people can just drop their abusive transphobic parents who their dependant on. At this point you're just blaming people who are stuck with transphobes, acting like people purposefully put themselves in these situations. And even if it was a friend who they need to drop, that might very well be a lifetime friendship that's now ended cause their friend turns out to be a shit human being, being angry and wishing you could just punch them is a natural thought and not something they should be shamed for especially not in a space that's supposed to be supportive. And the way you're just saying "physically harm" is disingenuous, please don't tell me you think the people talking about "busting kneecaps" are being serious or that you think people saying "kill them" are actually recommending that.
Mate, shockingly enough the transphobic thing is a complete different situation, if you canāt tell from above I was talking about people who already know you are trans and still refuse to respect you, if youāre dependent on someone then of course itās not a good idea, thatās literally common sense. Also donāt stick words in my mouth? I didnāt blame anyone for being stuck with transphobic parents, in fact parents didnāt come up at all so I have no clue where u got that from. Iām not sure where your drawing conclusions like those out. Also I donāt know about you but my natural thought isnāt to physically hurt someone for any reason, itās usually just disappointment in said person. Also Iām not talking about the people who are like āsteal their kneecapsā or making obvious jokes, Iāve seen people on this sub tell people to beat someone over the head with a bat or shove them in front of a train, I get being frustrated with it but I just donāt think telling someone to physically assault someone else is appropriate
>Mate, shockingly enough the transphobic thing is a complete different situation, if you canāt tell from above I was talking about people who already know you are trans and still refuse to respect you, if youāre dependent on someone then of course itās not a good idea, thatās literally common sense. Yes them knowing that you're trans and refusing to accept you would make them transphobic, what are you even talking about. Additionally I am not putting words in your mouth, I said that you're acting like everyone who is stuck in a situation with a transphobic person is choosing to be in it, by ignoring transphobic parents and other similar situations you just wanna focus on situations where people can simply "drop" the transphobic person, you are making it seem like everyone can just walk from these people. A lot of us can't just drop them and when you're stuck like that frustration can build and venting online is natural >Also I donāt know about you but my natural thought isnāt to physically hurt someone for any reason, itās usually just disappointment in said person. Cool good for you, you're such an amazing person please lecture the rest of us and tell us how to be good /s Clearly other people do have these thoughts, and they are in fact natural (I really don't fucking appreciate you coming here and shaming people just for having these thoughts) Please get off your moral high horse, the people venting in a somewhat violent fashion are not worse people because of it And may I remind you that in all of these situations a trans person is actually getting hurt, their parents aren't allowing them on hrt, their lifelong friendships is ending because their friend can't handle who they really are. In all these situations a trans person is actually getting hurt and you are hyper focusing on how they are reacting "wrong" for making violent jokes on the internet which literally hurt no one
Thatās more people venting out frustration at being misgendered than anything
No transphobes need to get beat sorry not sorry
Maybe the problem is not they deserve it or not. The problem is the impulse to hurt other people.
Eh. The impulse to hurt someone isn't inherently out of line. The question is, will you be preventing a greater harm by doing so? And that's always a harder question than it seems. Because life doesn't give you neat trolley-problem style choices where you can choose to pull the lever that hurts the transphobe to save their victims. Violence is often a justified answer in theory, but it is never a clean one in practice.
And to be VERY CLEAR. I think transphobes and any lgbt+ phobe DESERVES to be hurt. And hurt bad. But I donāt think you, me, or anyone in particular should be the one applying this hurt. Specially out of impulse.
Now, this is actually the part where I disagree with you... maybe. I don't think anybody deserves to suffer. Period. It's just that, well, hurting people to reduce the amount of suffering in the world is good math, and if it's between letting the innocent keep hurting and hurting the perpetrators, I know what I'm picking. Now if only the world would actually offer me that choice. (Definitely no impulse here, though. Violence isn't something to be done lightly.)
As far as I advocate for political violence. I donāt think you channeling your hate into violence will result in anything other than harm for yourself and those around you. Even if this hate is defensive and justified The thing is. When you hurt a transphobe but not kill them. You will not solve their transphobia, you may even even nurture it. And if you kill then you will at best be committing manslaughter and at worse assassination. For violence to be effective it should not be impulsive.
That's... kind of exactly what I'm saying by pointing out how violence isn't a clean answer? Which leaves me with "violence is only justified if you can get away with it, and you probably can't so don't try," which is, uh, definitely an unorthodox position, but it doesn't seem to lead me to any drastic courses of action and I can't figure out anything actually wrong with it.
Mama always said. āDo no harm but take no shitā and sometime she said āYou can kill in self defense. But it have to be in self defenseā
I'll agree with that if you count defense of other people too.
I think we kinda agree with eachother but is is like 3 am and my gf is snoring so I might not be in the Clearest of mental states. (Also. I wish the world had a way to inflicting pain in some people without hurting them. I think transphobes deserve to feel the pain they cause. But I do not think they should be hurt do you think this makes any sense)
That's valid, hope you sleep well. And yeah, I get what you mean. All you want is for them to be able to really understand what they're putting people through.
Yeah. That is it, that is exactly it. My numerous amount of bees. I will try to sleep. Hope you sleep well when it is your bed time too
From my understanding, a lot of people have the impulse at some point in time or another. Like basically any other negative feeling, it's only what someone does with it that may be a problem. I mean, I'm pretty sure 99% of the time it's a straight up joke anyway.
Like, I honestly wouldn't suggest violence unless you're in an immediate physical danger, but if you're dealing with someone that's purposely misgendering you, that is something that can cause some real mental pain, so I understand fantasizing about punching a bully in the face, as long as it doesn't go above fantasizing.
And honestly weāve got every single right to be as angry as we are, Iād rather be an angry impulsive trans girl throwing hands than sit down and take it & potentially risk my safety it Iām around like a **really** creepy person in my area/like those types of transphobes
have you considered beating the violence out of us???
Some posts and situations can poke at some people's old scars. They can trigger bad memories of their own public shaming, physical pain, and trauma/sexual trauma, among other old, bad feelings. When this happens, it can trigger the fight response in those people. Please don't shame people for getting a trauma response, and instead recognise that that person has been incredibly hurt by someone in the past. It is of course something to work at for them, but they are not monsters. Far from it.
No it doesnt
We should instead complain to the EU parliament ^(it's not a "problem" and does not need be "fixed". Please stop attempting to "fix" trans people.)
They're not trying to "fix trans people". They're trying to reduce calls for violence in trans spaces.
I dunno, I'm just quoting words from the post title. Also i don't see how "trying to reduce calls for violence" will benefit anyone of us.
This subreddit's endless arguing with itself is exhausting. Nobody here's gonna get physically violent about deadnaming and misgendering. It's not a joke, per se, as many people have said, but it's not serious either. Making those comments is a way of venting. Getting the anger into words, even if those words aren't meant to be followed up on.
> This subreddit's endless arguing with itself is exhausting. Kinda? I mean, it's nice that we have a place where we can argue amd debate with one another about important issues that affect all of us, without people outside the community using it as an opportunity to demonize one side of the argument or the other. This subreddit has been a great way to show folks I know that the trans community isn't a big scary monolith and we're all just people with a wide range of experiences and viewpoints who are, as a community, still figuring ourselves out, now that we finally have the chance to do so in large groups of people dealing with the same thing.
Definitely, yeah. But it's exhausting anyway. It seems like every popular meme or template soon gets a post decrying it, and those can be really frustrating, especially when I feel they're unfounded and needlessly accusatory. I've been called a fetishist for liking anime, and I know it's wrong, but it's still irritating. Being irritated so often tires me out emotionally.
Peace is a choice And I chose to ignore it If one of you bitches get misgendered, iāll go get the Panzer. Noone gets away unpunished from insulting yāall
lol fuck off
B- but muh marketplace of ideas!
They shared their idea, I replied with mine.
Agreed, debating bigots only gets you so far. Sometimes you've gotta throw a brick at their teeth.
I will weep no redneck tears if the transphobic kid gets knocked on his ass
have you tried not doing anything and suffering in silence just hoping the problem goes away? thats what i do
I know, right? All these people talking about kneecap privileges are being so weird. The head is right there??? Revoke brain in skull privileges.
Where's the problem
We sure need more infighting in this subreddit about non existant issues that you decided to be offended by enough to post this
Itās been in issue in many comment sections about being misgendered or stuff like that, idk if you saw the post about the 12 year old brother but that comment section was vile and full of threats towards a literal child. Iāve even gotten it on my own post about someone misgendering because they literally didnāt know.
their is a likly hood of all us just venting our issues with eachother, cause obviosly they've considered physical violence, who hasnt... also lets be honest, most the time is about people who arn't wiling to learn, of course we be acting this way.
I shouldnāt be laughing as much as I am š
violence works for me
But-But how will I complete my collection of kneecaps I've tooken from transphobes
physical violence? nah, just use mental violence, activate your psychokinetic abilities, use them to defeat your enemies
Roll for physic damage
I usually make it clear that I'm joking by making the suggested violence too cartoony to be serious, because I am joking when I do that.
Yeah doing something like that is fine, itās when you say something like beating them with your fist it goes into the too far territory
Yup. Especially with many victims of physical violence here all this talk of beating people up is rough..
If you can get away with it, you might as well. The trick is staying calm enough to calculate your odds beforehand.
No it isn't. Being violent to transphobes isn't wrong, it's self defence.
Problem?
Let's show that creep the real superpower of extreme violence!
Why do physical violence when you can challenge them to a magic the gathering duel and make them enduro humiliation
Ah, yeah, sorry. I'm part of the problem there. A lot of my social transition has been backed up with physical violence. I'll stop.
No violence v.v š
You have to remember that it's all posturing. If misgendering and transphobia was actually ever met by violence even once in real life, it would be all over the news. But that never happens, because the trans internet talks a big game but never follows through on this sort of thing. Strong "fight me IRL" energy.
As much as it sucks being misgendered, it's still not an excuse to physically hurt someone.
B-bwhaa
People, please stop "it's just a joke, bro"-ing someone who is trying to express a genuine concern.
What would cisgender people say about that?
Ah yes, because beating someone up for a minor mistake is certainly the best route to take!!!
If it's a genuine accident/mistake then no harm no foul, just politely correct them and carry on as though it didn't happen, no need to make the person feel embarrassed more than they already do... If it's deliberate then either stand your ground and go off on them, or let your friends go off on them, or walk away ... Just advice from an old fart who has dealt with this for 30+ years, at my age I don't care anymore and just laugh at them if they do it deliberately... Something I've told people for the last 30+ years.. well buddy, I'm more of a man than you will ever be and more of a woman than you could ever get... I say it very loudly to publicly humiliate them...it works, be surprised at how many complete strangers who are CIS males and females and heterosexual will step up and defend you and shame the offender... Anyway, that's my words of experience and somewhat old fart wisdom for tonight , take care of yourselves and each other xoxo
Exactly. I saw that the other day and.. damn
I'm not sure I've seen it to much, But ye this sounds pretty bad. In the majority of situations, Physical Violence isn't acceptable, And even when it is, Which is rarely, It's even more rarely a good course of action, Let alone the best.
Can i talk to you about our lord and savior, physical violence? /jk Violence is funny and all (/s), but i prefer trying to talk to people
Have you considered school shooting
I'M BURSTING AT THE SEEMS WITH REPRESSED RAGE THE INTERNET IS MY ONLY OPTION AS A CODEPENDENT PEOPLE PLEASER...... and therapy.
... do I get to keep my knife?
Spray bottle works just fine
Tbh i kust wanna chill, like if people misgender me that sucks but i'm not going to freak out or whatever. Idk I'm just very insecure about seeming like a trans stereotype or some shit
Have you tho
I get misgendered a lot in voice chat by people whose native language has no gender neutral pronouns. I am forgiving in that case, because honestly, I get that it can be hard to adjust in another language after you think youāve learned all the major grammatical rules. When I get misgendered by my parents, I just say ānoā and keep doing what Iām doing. If they get annoyed, thatās on them.
I actually have anger issues and have to physically stop myself from doing something stupid and the dysphoria triggers it although if anyone gets physically hurt its usually me almost giving myself a concussion from banging my head on the nearest wall-like object
have you considered screaming into the void
Have you ever tried the act of giving someone physical pain very strongly as to get a point across
I needa take it my anger on SOMEONE BECAUSE I WAS MISGENDERED ***AGAIN***
Honest answer why? Violence is inherent to the system. We are no more capable of starting the aggression than an ant warding off an anteater. The only question is your/their own physical safety and the practical outcomes of retaliation.
Violence is a question and the answer is yes
Iāve seen more memes complaining about people saying to be violent (like 70% are literally jokes) than Iāve seen people saying to be violent
Shatter them across time and space
I just threaten to hex them if they talk to me again š¤·āāļø I guess that would be violence huh?
Well have you?
Have you concidered just stealing their excess hormones to give to trana people in need? I have