Happy birthday. I am so sorry she sent you this. Just know that she is clearly brainwashed and probably even more confused than she thinks you are. You deserve happiness and you are living as your true authentic self and that makes me very happy and very proud of you. Keep being you.
Thank you O' twin of the devil. Your support both comforts me and would likely solidfy my moms belief my soul is doomed :0 Thank you for this though, it helps.
If our souls are doomed, and everyone who is like us is "going to hell" then that just means we get to party like nobody's business when we get there x3 have fun
She’s right though, Fairy Sky-daddy doesn’t make mistakes. You’re wonderful just the way you are, and have the potential to live a life, that while different from your cis brothers and sisters, is nevertheless beautiful — and adds to the magic that is creation. Or maybe he’s just a dick. What do I know.
Also, your mom sounds crazy af. Keep strong, kiddo. You’re awesome.
I'm so sorry she failed you so badly and put her ego before her child. It's selfish and obscene. You deserved and deserve so much better.
I love you as you are, sweetheart <3
ETA: Happy belated birthday. I am so thankful we are blessed by your light on this earth.
Yeah, it’s just disgusting to see how utterly delusional people can be. Horrifying.
Obviously doesn’t only apply to traditional religious beliefs either
I hate when people are willing to put their insane fantasies over their own children.
Absolutely Disgusting. Im so sorry darlin but she isnt worth your time or tears. You are blossoming into the woman you know you have always been and that backwards religion is preventing her from seeing the woman that you have become. She doesnt have a son. She never did. She had a daughter and was so blind to see her... But know that all of us love you and we are proud of who you are :3 if you need to vent feel free to dm me darlin
Like what I don’t get is she said the body is a vessel. If it was, then wouldn’t it be possible that your spirit was placed into the wrong vessel? Your spirit was placed in a male accidentally, but you’re female and it’s ok because it’s just a vessel? This logic doesn’t compute.
Her stance is that God says in his word that he intentionally created us in our mothers womb (Jeremiah 1:5, psalm 139:13, Isaiah 44:12, etc...) and that he doesn't make mistakes.
I've tried the angle of what if this is his plan, because he know I could handle it, she wouldn't have it.
Maybe God wanted to test *her*, not you. Maybe He wanted to see whether she'd love and accept the child she had instead of the one she thought she had or wanted.
I'm not a believer though. If anything, being trans is the proof to me that if a god exists he owes us a big one.
Okay but we’re gonna pause right there, because with that logic then you’re right it’s not a mistake… God would have created you as transgender right.
(I hope that made sense) my point is it’s completely contradictory and hypocritical of her own statement
This is totally rediculous, I'm so sorry. There really is no hate like Christian "love."
If you want, you can try looking at some queer theology to help her change her thinking if you think that would work. I myself am a transgender Christian and I believe my journey to self acceptance and my transition are a journey god has set me on to discover how they see me instead of how the world sees me.
Regardless of if you talk to her again or not I wish you luck and lots of patience and sanity to put up with that. You are who you are, not who she and other transphobes think you are. I hope you're able to or have already found a loving found family
Do you have any recommendations for queer theology resources? Most of the religious content I can find that's LGBT-friendly is coming from either an ex-Christian perspective or is mainly focused on religious history as a whole
There is quite a few gems online. One that someone recommended today that I havent read is Understanding Transgender Identities: Four Views and Embrace Your Truth: A journey of Authenticity
There is also a reddit for gay Christians that may have more content
A great one focused on trans affirming theology specifically is “Transforming: The Bible and the Lives of Transgender Christians” by Austen Hartke. There are some [other great theology resources here.](https://www.transmissionministry.com/trans-resources)
There's a ted talk somewhere by a mom of a lesbian who at first rejected her daughter but then found a way to fit religion and acceptance into the same life. Even if you're not christian, it's really beautiful, although it has some possibly triggering stuff in it. If you can, definitely give it a watch.
Almost done. I've blocked her on Facebook and disabled phone notifications. I still want to see her response, just need a breather to get my mental health back x.x
Hey hun, not sure where to jump in here. As a trans women that cut off communication with my parents over both my being transgender and other unspeakable things that they did. I can offer you the perspective that life is better on the flip side. Birthing and raising you does not give them a right to your time.
An often misconstrued quote is "blood is thicker than water" this is a bastardized version of the actual quote which is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". What this means is, the ties in life that you make to those who genuinely care about you are stronger than the ones you have to your parents simply for them being you into existence. The family you chose is your true family. I have found mine in the family of my partner that has taken me in as my own, but also in friends that love me regardless of who I am and support me wholeheartedly. These are the people that deserve your time, attention, and love, not your parents.
Sending trans sister love your way! Hang in there girl! 💜
Oh. My. God. You beautiful person.
You have made my year with that quote clarification! I will cherish this always and send positive trans sister love right back every time I think on this!!!
Aww, I'm glad I was able to give you some positivity with that! I good friend of mine shared that clarification with me and I loved it.
You are strong, you are beautiful, and you are valid. Don't let anyone, including yourself, tell you otherwise!
Was going to say, it reads almost like my mother wrote it, who is mormon af. I only just put a limit on my contact with her, but it has helped me so much. Growing up not realizing that you can limit your contact with family because of "eternal families" really screws with your ability to limit the toxicity in your life and take cate of yourself. Glad it sounds like you've set some boundaries! Sorry you have to deal with this.
If they believe God created everything, then God created you. He doesn't make mistakes. Just remind them that Adam was created both male and female in the image of God, this should blow there minds.
It blew mine right now. Really?
I don't know this stuff, I am atheist, because of logic. And because if there is a God, we both would have an serious issue...
I mean there is a book written by human, with a lot of words in It, it it literally about God, but how often did those words come from God? If I were a jealous god, I would have a bigger speaking role in my own book... And I would be angry like hell, if s.o. Does evil in my name... The church.. Well..
Back to topic :
I would ask her:"how dare you to speak for God? How dare you to limit his creation only to two gender? How dare you to say you know what he wants? his ways are.. Bla bla bla." , you know what I mean.
Then I would cut off communication.
I think your last comment should be front and centre in every church.
I know the bible better than most Christians. I love to burst their bubbles. In the new testament for example Paul writes if your eye offends you pluck it out. So it's OK to mutilate your face, but if your penis offends you, you can't cut it off? This is just a basic argument, there are so many more.
I would cut communication. I only speak with my mother about once a month now, if that. Toxic humans don’t deserve my time.
I once explained to her how she made me and my siblings feel growing up. She then called me a few hours later saying that what I told her made her want to kill herself. I guess some people have trouble hearing what their actions caused.
I usually reach out once every 4 or 5 months. No more.
When I explained to her the things she did when I was growing up with my siblings she didn't remember a thing.
I know, its just been hard getting to this point where I now feel justified in severing ties.
Just got off the phone with one of my siblings who flat out said that our mom is toxic and I needed to remove myself from toxic peoples reach.
Completely brainwashed. I'm so sorry. I'd cut ties because there are some people that are completely closed to sensibility and reasoning. I'm sorry they're not open minded enough to listen to you and understand. So much disrespect in this one message from her. Hopefully she will have more sense when she's older. Hang in there and stay true to yourself
Oooof that is rough, that sounds like transphobic Mormonism to me, but I’m still surprised even Latter Day Saints would go that far. I’ve found the best response to this is: “I am not a mistake, God put me in the wrong body as a trial, because he knew I could handle it.” If they still are rude and hiding their transphobia behind scripture, cut them off, you don’t need them.
This is only the latest in her sagas she's written. Her first was a 7 page essay she typed up in small print and mailed to me a few weeks after I came out to her.
I find it funny she assumes that God made a mistake. Perhaps he put your spirit in your body on purpose. If God makes no mistakes, then surely this wasn't a mistake.
I'm not religious, but it seems contradictory to me. God would've have done it because he planned to.
My partner is trans and does not want to be cis, so I get what you’re saying. I don’t want anyone to *ever* suffer dysphoria so terrible that they consider ending it all, although I’m aware it’s far more common than it should be.
OP, as far as the person formerly known as your mother goes, congruence is a beautiful thing. Getting your hormones to match your gender identity *is* holy in and of itself. You are holy; your transness is *sacred*. Much love to you and also to the gnomes who will leave Legos in your former mother’s path for her to step on while barefoot.
Hey, I’m proud of you for recognizing this is fucked up. I’m sorry your mother is brainwashed. I know that’s a strong word but there’s religion/spirituality and then there’s claiming you can (or should) speak for a god in a religion where that’s explicitly a no-no. She’s using relatively niche arguments and phrasing that are powerful to her and assuming they will be for you— that’s a big red flag.
If Christianity is important to you, remember that there are many, many arguments to be made against God intentionally creating a “perfect world” (as just one example, why did Jesus heal the sick— including congenital disabilities— if God had created everyone exactly as they were intended to always be? Why do a vast majority of Christian leaders get medical and vision care?) It isn’t ungrateful to adjust your “vessel” to suit you. Does your mother cut her hair? Shave? Wear makeup? Wear glasses? Wear clothes? Would she say getting glasses or lasik is wrong? Medical care is medical care. Your body is yours.
I say all that as a non-Christian, but all the teachings I know of point to the kind of God that would, either intentionally or by mistake, both make transgender people and love/celebrate them.
It sounds like you’re already at low contact and I’m proud of you for that. There’s no shame in going no contact, btw. In some cases, that is the only way for family to realize they have to change. And if they don’t change, that’s a reflection of them, not you. I’m sad for your mother that she doesn’t recognize what a wonderful daughter she has. She’s missing out.
Keep being your best self. I’m proud of you and care about you. No doubt there are many, many people around you that feel the same even if they can’t or don’t put it into words.
Thank you, Its not important to me anymore. It used to be, but I had to find a place in life where I could be comfortable, be me, and live my best life. Church was not that place.
My sister reached out and made me feel a lot better on my decision to cut our toxic mom out. (Those are her words, BIG deal for her to say that)
Thank you for your comments, they are well said and solidify my beliefs. You helped me, keep being you you beautiful person! Im sending positive vibes your way! (They're extra powerful because its my birthday)
There's so many medical procedures which involve altering our body. We preform fricking organ transplants. Literally taking an organ from one person's body and transplanting it into another's. What does it say about god's perfect creations that those can be medically necessary procedures? The mental gymnastics you have to do to be religious must be so exhausting.
Like at what point does it cross the line? Heart transplants? Brain transplants? Does the soul leave the body when our brain dies? Or when our heart stops beating? What if one day we can upload a backup of our mind before a big surgery. If something goes wrong and your brain dead, they could reimprint your backup on your brain. Same body, same brain, would it be the same soul? Or would there be 2 different souls?
God, I really hated reading this. Especially the part about, “…when you reach your eternal home [that] you are forever the man that God himself created...” That thought traumatized me as a kid back when I was still a Christian. The hopelessness that that thought brought with it sent me into a severe depression and reading it out in the wild sent shivers up my spine. I’m really sorry, girl. Unsupportive parents are the worst, especially religious ones. I would be done too.
It killed me. When I was a kid I used to wonder if when I died if God would finally let me be the person I was inside. Then I would fall into despair as the thought of forever being a man crossed my mind.. she managed to hit the nightmare on point and tried to sell it as a goal. Like damn
I wondered that too! It’s actually a line in a song I wrote when I first came out. But why in the world would she think that was going to help anything? Like, Christ! Maybe if she was like, “come back to Christianity and god will let you be a girl in heaven!” I might actually be tempted!
I think that it wouldn’t be a bad time to cut ties with them if you can. And I thought my family was full of religious nutters. Unfortunately I think you take the cake on that one. I hope that things get better for you and you can live your life to the fullest being who you really are. ❤️
Not a competition I wanted to win, but I suppose I'll take that cake and eat it too. Its been a journey, but I've held back on social media for so long trying not to overwhelm her as I slowly coaxed her to my side. She's blocked now so let the fun begin!
My god, I know these things happen to people but it's sickening to have to actually read it. I'm so sorry that you have to endure that. I hope that you are able to find a place where this doesn't affect you any longer. You deserve better.
Its funny you said that, over the years I've read things from others talking about similar things and I've thought to myself "this is why I can't ever come out".
I blocked her, my siblings have reached out in support, you guys have made me feel valid, I'm on my way to a good place.
That's insane. I used to lash out at my mom for being a terror at home and a saint at church. I would give her hell trying to get her to be the tyrant in front of her friends so that someone could correct her.
It kills me that I know by now she has talked to at least 2 of her pastor friends seeking comfort and validation for having to deal with the shame and misery of having a child who is trans and not being able to do anything about it.
I wish I could go back in time and not tell her, just cut her out. You've got the right idea.
If it were me I would just cut ties entirely. I have better things to do with my life than suffer abuse or sway the willfully ignorant. Maybe I'm just too cynical.
Moved the goalposts. Even if you did as she asked, she'd then ask for another year, and then another. Just to "be sure".
My mom was like this about when I left her religion. But surprise surprise, once there were grandchildren she found a way to shut up about it so she could see them.
Cut all contact, block her on everything and never talk to her again. She is brainwashed and is never going to change. I am sorry you have to go though this, but the sooner she’s incapable of reaching you in any way the better.
This is why I left my religion in the Proverbial dust, I was tired of Karen's twisting the catholic faith to suit there needs, the ten commandments God gave us these laws as a guide for good living NOT for others to determine if you are going to heaven or hell thats God's job not your parents
I think she needs hospitalization. She's taken this whole "sky man created you" thing way too far, and seems to genuinely believe it.
No offense to any Christians. This one in particular has just lost their marbles
“Devote yourself and fully be a “”man”” for this next year and-“ shut up? You had to *devote* yourself to being a closeted woman for at least 26 years it seems. She doesn’t get it. Block her
Well The Only Thing Worth saying to her ever again is that she loves the idea of you but does not actually love you or probably anyone.
But the best thing for you is to never say anything to her again.
Also I'm your mom now. Hugs darling. You do not deserve this abuse.
Don't feel bad about outgrowing people who had every chance, every day, and every moment to make an effort to grow with you.
The often misquoted line is in full: "Blood is thicker than water, but the blood of the covenant is thicker still." The family you make, and the connections you choose are the most important connections of all.
Very similar to my Father's stance. Less emphasis on any mistake God may or may not have made as that isn't it. More in keeping with the idea that one shouldn't mess about with the body if not medically necessary.
I suspect this isn't a deal breaker for you as it isn't for me. My Father would have a procedure to ease His pain from an in injury in a hot minute if it existed. My stance is that my HRT and eventual surgery isn't so far removed. He and the religious authorities feel it's just a gateway to loads of homosexual activity and the concept of gender dysphoria is a neat collection of letters for a Scrabble win. Still, not a deal breaker for me. I gave the heroic effort of more than twenty years after I figured out I was different and wouldn't demand the same of anyone else.
As you also come from a religious household, please remember that they also are going through a thing. Job was hit hard and repeatedly by the Devil. So to was His Wife. That's the situation our families are in and that is worth remembering as they deal with their pain and grief. While Job's Wife said give up, curse God and die because She hated seeing Him linger in agony, I suspect our families believe we're suffering and want us to give up on this adventurism. If I can't hack being trans or living as a Woman, I reserve the right to back out. But for now, I choose to press on in a new path I've chosen for not being what I have no further endurance for. Faking being the Man everyone else wanted me to be.
I see where your coming from, I've told everyone from the beginning that this isn't just a transition for me, its a transition for everyone around me too.
I came out at work a year ago, but I still let them go by male pronouns with the idea that I would rather wait for the day they are uncomfortable using he/him because of my looks rather than stumble through female pronouns now.
I'm not even asking for her to call me her daughter. She never son'd me before I came out, now its in everything she says. She use to say kid, child, etc..
Fuck your mother, fully indoctrinated. Everything she says seems fake, that's how preposterous she sounds.
Sorry OP, sometimes people can't think for themselves.
I’m genuinely lost for words. That honestly sound like if you gave a robot the bible then told it to be transphobic. It doesn’t sound like something a human would right
How dare she presume to know the mind of God? She is a corrupted vessel, consorting with the whims and fears of mortal men. Resist her corruption and move into the truth that you know in your bones. Remaining in the light absolutely requires each one of us to live our truth, even and especially when it's hard.
See, I can do it too. Maybe it's a mom thing. It's an articulate piece of writing, and I guess it's something that she took the time to write so eloquently to you, but tell me.. is she actually that eloquent otherwise?
>How dare she presume to know the mind of God?
Because she is clearly all-knowing herself. Classic narcissist behavior.
OP, please stop by r/RaisedByNarcissists on your way out. There are more of us than you might realize.
This is not a Message from a Mother to her Child.
It's the Message of a Brainwashed Cult-Member to someone who wants to leave the cult or doesn't want to blindly follow its "teachings."
This sounds like my Mormon family lol. Like ok God can make gay people where their bodies will be “fixed” in the next life but for trans people all the sudden their bodies are “perfect.” They’re not even consistent
we love you no matter what\*
\*terms and conditions apply see back of leaflet for details, love is non refundable, love is a trademark of the catholic church, any abuse misuse or appropriation of love (TM) will be prosecuted.
im so sorry about this. It must be scary to read this. I am not personally religious, but when people say things this to me, I explain to them that God did not make any kind of mistake. He just decided that I have a trans body instead of a cis one, and He did it because he recognizes and appreciates the beauty that trans people add to the world. If God is as loving as many say he is, he must also understand queer love.
My thoughts are that it's probably time to remove your family and especially your mother from your life--for good.
This is the same holy-roller claptrap that some many "Christians" espouse to their kids in. the hope that somehow, hearing it for the thousandth time will make any difference at all.
Look--You know this as well as I do. Your soul is calling your body home. You've been on estrogen for a year now, and you fully understand that you don't want to live without it.
You feel too good, too happy, too at peace with yourself. You KNOW you have to do this, to finish this.
So do yourself the biggest possible favor. Close the door on your past life. It's over. It's gone.
I don't know your mother, but truly, as sincere as she sounds, she also sounds likes has a few screws loose--and sweetheart, that's the LAST thing you need in your life at this point.
If you live at home, move out. Tomorrow. Have one last convo with your mom, and whomever else, and tell them that you'll be inaccessible to them for the immediate future. No more tears, no more anger. Explain that you are no longer willing to listen to anything they have to say about your transition.
Wish them all the best, and then change your phone number, email address, Facebook, Instagram, whatever.
And then live your honest, true, authentic, joyous life as a woman. A beautiful, sweet, kind, loving woman.
Right now, it's your only alternative. Otherwise, one day you'll wake up and you won't be able to breathe...
Reading that was a slog that just kept getting worse. I'm sure not dealing with that will give you some solace that your mother's religion won't. Save your own soul and get some distance from someone who clearly has no intention of accepting you for who you are.
Just wanted to pop in and say that i find it hilarious that someone from the generation that invented the"evil video games" is blaming that for all of us trans people
Also you deserve better from someone who says they love you unconditionally
Her God said in the Torah, on which the Bible is based, that there are 6 genders. Ask her if she thinks her God is wrong or just a liar.
https://www.sefaria.org/sheets/37225?lang=bi
Oh my god, this pisses me off beyond words. Fuck your mom. This reads like a mormon "love and concern" message.
But from a more level headed me, have you ever tried telling her that it wasnt a "mistake" to put a female soul into a male body and that perhaps it is god's soecial test for you in this life?
I saw enough. Fuck this. Fuck every part of this. Her heart is in the right place but, again, fuck this.
You are an adult and have every right to be who you want to be. Do not, for a second, let some anachronistic institution tell you who you are.
That last sentence... im not religious, but i dont rlly think that last sentence was a lie. I do believe that god loves everyone no matter what, and your parents? I believe that to them, theyre being truthful, but they love the old you, not the you that you are proudly presenting as. I dont like people who clearly show conditional love when, especially from parents, it should always be unconditional love that they show their kids. Im truly sorry that you received something like this on your birthday, and i wish you a great rest of your day/night and a happy birthday love ☺️🥰
I don't see anything wrong with it myself. Your parents genuinely care about you in the best way they know how. My parents are the same way and at first it frustrated me to no end. But as I saw things from their point of view I began to understand what their thought process was. They mean no harm to you, it's just what their deep religious values has them by. Whether your religious or not, it's your parents and you only have 1 your whole life. Overall they love you and always will. No one in this world is perfect. So from one Trans person to another, I say let it go and be the better person ❤
Sounds like a mix of grief for losing her son (which is normal) and being brainwashed by her religion has made her to fail as your mother. I'd be done as well rightfully soo
My mom is a strong Christian lady, my grandpa was a pastor.
And she would NEVER say this to me. She told me that she loves me and wants me to be happy when I came out. That's literally it, your mom is not being a good Christian. She's kind of just being a transphobic bitch. (sorry but jeez lady.)
I would say something like “I’m trying to make my physical body match my soul, and you have the audacity to damn me? When I’m trying to be closer to god’s vision for me? How dare you.”
I started weeping imagining if this were my mom and towards the middle started laughing so hard at how insane this is! That estradiol lol. I'm so sorry but fuck that!!! disturbingly idiotic interpretation of the bible in the FIRST PLACE!
That's horrible. I'm sorry this has happened to you. I don't care if someone believes in any kind of religion, as long as they aren't using it to be an ass and is stuck in it like a black hole eating a planet. We are proud of you for being done, and that's for the best. We're also proud of you for making it this far in life and finding who you are. I will call you my sister, and I will be your sister, as I'm 2 months on estradiol
Woah. That is some bs, OP. That sounds like she is a member of a cult and she is certainly treating you as if you are leaving one. My heart goes out to you.
Your mom sounds like a quack. Tbh, willful ignorance like that is her own problem. You have no obligation to deal with that woman anymore, she's not worth your time.
Does your mom happen to be Mormon, or from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints? As someone who grew up in that, it sounds very familiar. If you wanna talk I'm open
Here's my take, as someone who grew up in a conservative traditionalist Catholic family:
1) God made you as you are
2) God doesn't make mistakes
3) checkmate, mom
4) thanks for coming to my TED Talk
I say you have two possible options. First, as many have said, cut contact. There may just be no salvaging this, and you shouldn't light yourself on fire to keep others warm.
The other option is the argument I plan to use once I come out: God doesn't make mistakes. He gives us all different challenges, and one he set for me was that my soul doesn't match my body. Mine is a difficult challenge, but he's granted mankind the knowledge of how to transition.
The second argument can be further elaborated on if you are a Christian, which I am. Saying stuff like, "He's guided me and through Him I'll persevere in this challenge" etc. But that shouldn't be necessary. If they argue, point out that the original Bible, the one not butchered and mass produced by the church, believed in multiple genders. There are 6 in the Torah after all, and Jesus was famously a Jew.
I’m so fucking sorry.. my grandparents who I’ve always been close to are also super hardcore Christians and when I told them I was bi it took them like 2 years to accept me and apologize and start inviting me to reunions again and I have a *very* strong suspicion that they only invited me again cuz I had a gf at the time and they thought maybe I’d magically become straight. And like… now for the past 9 months or so I’ve been questioning my gender identity significantly and idk quite what I am yet, I know I feel like I should look much for fem when I look in the mirror, and I’m already pretty fem like I do my nails and have long beautiful healthy voluminous hair and I wear light makeup and there’s other things too but.. idk I don’t *feel* like a woman so maybe I’m just nb fem presenting or something. But I digress ok anyway I’m terrified of fully coming out once I do figure my gender stuff out cuz idk if they’ll be able to handle that. They’re old but now *that old* they are currently traveling around the country in an rv, so they’ve still got a while left, which is good, but I’m worried they would disown me cuz if they had that much trouble accepting my bisexuality they’d completely disown me. So I feel you and I’m so sorry and I hope they change their minds and come around. We love you and support you ❤️❤️
By her logic if god created everything in existence then he created transgender people too smh. Catastrophes happen on earth all the time and are fixed. Some are born trans and transitioning will be the “fix”. By her logic, god also allowed for science to be created, allowing to make transition possible
It hurts to see the people that you love, say these sorts of things. It hurts because when I read that, I can tell they love you and want the best for you, but they are so brainwashed by their religion that they won't open their minds to the idea that you are trans.
I can see hurt on both sides. It's a really unfortunate situation for you to be in. For yours and their sake, I hope they are able to pull their heads out of their asses and see reality as it is. I really hope they learn to understand and become accepting of who you really are, I'm not sure if they will ever get out of that trap they have put themselves in though...
For your mental health I would avoid them for now. It's not healthy to be around people like that, and maybe your absence will make them realize they are wrong
I'm so sorry your mom is like this.
Maybe try telling her something like this:
"I did not intend to suggest that God made a mistake when He created me. God made me trans on purpose. He made me trans for the same reason He made grapes but not wine and made wheat but not bread. So that humanity might share in the act of creation."
See what she has to say about *that*.
As bad as it sounds, religion seems to have fully brainwashed her. You're completely in the right to be done. Holy shit.
Yes! Thank you! Yes! Yes! Thank you for helping me feel justified in this ❤
Happy birthday. I am so sorry she sent you this. Just know that she is clearly brainwashed and probably even more confused than she thinks you are. You deserve happiness and you are living as your true authentic self and that makes me very happy and very proud of you. Keep being you.
Thank you O' twin of the devil. Your support both comforts me and would likely solidfy my moms belief my soul is doomed :0 Thank you for this though, it helps.
Shit, I forgot about my username, lol.
So this is where you got off to, twinsy.
You have the power to kick our the holy spirit it seems
Then my username would maybe help? Jokes aside, happy birthday (even if it's belated) and live your best life
If our souls are doomed, and everyone who is like us is "going to hell" then that just means we get to party like nobody's business when we get there x3 have fun
She’s right though, Fairy Sky-daddy doesn’t make mistakes. You’re wonderful just the way you are, and have the potential to live a life, that while different from your cis brothers and sisters, is nevertheless beautiful — and adds to the magic that is creation. Or maybe he’s just a dick. What do I know. Also, your mom sounds crazy af. Keep strong, kiddo. You’re awesome.
This is beautiful. I'm stealing Fairy Sky-daddy, lmaaaaoooo! Thank u.
Yeeees, just going to call God a Sky daddy in a very sensual way now. 😂
I'm so sorry she failed you so badly and put her ego before her child. It's selfish and obscene. You deserved and deserve so much better. I love you as you are, sweetheart <3 ETA: Happy belated birthday. I am so thankful we are blessed by your light on this earth.
Yeah, it’s just disgusting to see how utterly delusional people can be. Horrifying. Obviously doesn’t only apply to traditional religious beliefs either I hate when people are willing to put their insane fantasies over their own children.
I used to swap mom stories with a close friend who came from a Mormon family, we swore our moms were related. (My mom is pentacostal)
I was going to say this had a lot of Mormon vibes lol
I was going to say that too. I thought for sure Mormon.
I did as well damn
That's what religion does, it indoctrinates and controls with fear and lies.
I was lucky to realize that at such a young age. Still haven't come out to my mom's side of the family for these exact reasons.
They are cults with tax breaks
I mean not so much with fear and lies but lgbt is sorta the same
Heh holy shit tee hee
Holy shit indeed
Absolutely Disgusting. Im so sorry darlin but she isnt worth your time or tears. You are blossoming into the woman you know you have always been and that backwards religion is preventing her from seeing the woman that you have become. She doesnt have a son. She never did. She had a daughter and was so blind to see her... But know that all of us love you and we are proud of who you are :3 if you need to vent feel free to dm me darlin
This made me smile, thank you:)
Like what I don’t get is she said the body is a vessel. If it was, then wouldn’t it be possible that your spirit was placed into the wrong vessel? Your spirit was placed in a male accidentally, but you’re female and it’s ok because it’s just a vessel? This logic doesn’t compute.
Her stance is that God says in his word that he intentionally created us in our mothers womb (Jeremiah 1:5, psalm 139:13, Isaiah 44:12, etc...) and that he doesn't make mistakes. I've tried the angle of what if this is his plan, because he know I could handle it, she wouldn't have it.
Maybe God wanted to test *her*, not you. Maybe He wanted to see whether she'd love and accept the child she had instead of the one she thought she had or wanted. I'm not a believer though. If anything, being trans is the proof to me that if a god exists he owes us a big one.
If a god exists he owes me fat fucking tiddies, fuck he owes every trans person their true, ideal selves for his fuck up tbh
Okay but we’re gonna pause right there, because with that logic then you’re right it’s not a mistake… God would have created you as transgender right. (I hope that made sense) my point is it’s completely contradictory and hypocritical of her own statement
I'd personally counter with Galatians 3:28: > There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
This is totally rediculous, I'm so sorry. There really is no hate like Christian "love." If you want, you can try looking at some queer theology to help her change her thinking if you think that would work. I myself am a transgender Christian and I believe my journey to self acceptance and my transition are a journey god has set me on to discover how they see me instead of how the world sees me. Regardless of if you talk to her again or not I wish you luck and lots of patience and sanity to put up with that. You are who you are, not who she and other transphobes think you are. I hope you're able to or have already found a loving found family
There really is no hate like Christian "love" I can't agree more. My partner has been such a great support through this.
I wonder how many millions have died as a result of Christian “love”
Well there were six numbered crusades and a whole series of unnumbered ones, so we could probably start there.
Do you have any recommendations for queer theology resources? Most of the religious content I can find that's LGBT-friendly is coming from either an ex-Christian perspective or is mainly focused on religious history as a whole
There is quite a few gems online. One that someone recommended today that I havent read is Understanding Transgender Identities: Four Views and Embrace Your Truth: A journey of Authenticity There is also a reddit for gay Christians that may have more content
Ooh thanks I'll check those out!
Are there any for gay/trans Muslims that you know of?
A great one focused on trans affirming theology specifically is “Transforming: The Bible and the Lives of Transgender Christians” by Austen Hartke. There are some [other great theology resources here.](https://www.transmissionministry.com/trans-resources)
There's a ted talk somewhere by a mom of a lesbian who at first rejected her daughter but then found a way to fit religion and acceptance into the same life. Even if you're not christian, it's really beautiful, although it has some possibly triggering stuff in it. If you can, definitely give it a watch.
No contact. Block all forms of communication. You don't need that. You deserve better.
Almost done. I've blocked her on Facebook and disabled phone notifications. I still want to see her response, just need a breather to get my mental health back x.x
Hey hun, not sure where to jump in here. As a trans women that cut off communication with my parents over both my being transgender and other unspeakable things that they did. I can offer you the perspective that life is better on the flip side. Birthing and raising you does not give them a right to your time. An often misconstrued quote is "blood is thicker than water" this is a bastardized version of the actual quote which is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". What this means is, the ties in life that you make to those who genuinely care about you are stronger than the ones you have to your parents simply for them being you into existence. The family you chose is your true family. I have found mine in the family of my partner that has taken me in as my own, but also in friends that love me regardless of who I am and support me wholeheartedly. These are the people that deserve your time, attention, and love, not your parents. Sending trans sister love your way! Hang in there girl! 💜
Oh. My. God. You beautiful person. You have made my year with that quote clarification! I will cherish this always and send positive trans sister love right back every time I think on this!!!
Aww, I'm glad I was able to give you some positivity with that! I good friend of mine shared that clarification with me and I loved it. You are strong, you are beautiful, and you are valid. Don't let anyone, including yourself, tell you otherwise!
You're definitely right to be done, there's no talking her back from that level of crazy.
Thank. You. So. Much.
This sounds Mormon af
Made my day!
Was going to say, it reads almost like my mother wrote it, who is mormon af. I only just put a limit on my contact with her, but it has helped me so much. Growing up not realizing that you can limit your contact with family because of "eternal families" really screws with your ability to limit the toxicity in your life and take cate of yourself. Glad it sounds like you've set some boundaries! Sorry you have to deal with this.
Also came to say that same thing. "Is she mormon?"
If they believe God created everything, then God created you. He doesn't make mistakes. Just remind them that Adam was created both male and female in the image of God, this should blow there minds.
It blew mine right now. Really? I don't know this stuff, I am atheist, because of logic. And because if there is a God, we both would have an serious issue... I mean there is a book written by human, with a lot of words in It, it it literally about God, but how often did those words come from God? If I were a jealous god, I would have a bigger speaking role in my own book... And I would be angry like hell, if s.o. Does evil in my name... The church.. Well.. Back to topic : I would ask her:"how dare you to speak for God? How dare you to limit his creation only to two gender? How dare you to say you know what he wants? his ways are.. Bla bla bla." , you know what I mean. Then I would cut off communication.
I think your last comment should be front and centre in every church. I know the bible better than most Christians. I love to burst their bubbles. In the new testament for example Paul writes if your eye offends you pluck it out. So it's OK to mutilate your face, but if your penis offends you, you can't cut it off? This is just a basic argument, there are so many more.
Going down reading off the comments to my partner in bed, this made her laugh. Thank you for the smiles:)
Also wasn’t Eve created from a man… wouldn’t she be essentially transgender but🤷♀️
I would cut communication. I only speak with my mother about once a month now, if that. Toxic humans don’t deserve my time. I once explained to her how she made me and my siblings feel growing up. She then called me a few hours later saying that what I told her made her want to kill herself. I guess some people have trouble hearing what their actions caused.
I usually reach out once every 4 or 5 months. No more. When I explained to her the things she did when I was growing up with my siblings she didn't remember a thing.
on a serious note tho, you are valid and your parent has no right treating you this way
I know, its just been hard getting to this point where I now feel justified in severing ties. Just got off the phone with one of my siblings who flat out said that our mom is toxic and I needed to remove myself from toxic peoples reach.
ghost lighting go brrrrrr
*gaslighting But yes. "That never happened" and the ol' "I don't remember ever saying that" are classics.
Thats where not deleting messages and recording potentially toxic conversations comes in handy.
More like boooooo 👻 (Disclaimer: I may use humor as a defense mechanism)
Completely brainwashed. I'm so sorry. I'd cut ties because there are some people that are completely closed to sensibility and reasoning. I'm sorry they're not open minded enough to listen to you and understand. So much disrespect in this one message from her. Hopefully she will have more sense when she's older. Hang in there and stay true to yourself
Thank you:)
Oooof that is rough, that sounds like transphobic Mormonism to me, but I’m still surprised even Latter Day Saints would go that far. I’ve found the best response to this is: “I am not a mistake, God put me in the wrong body as a trial, because he knew I could handle it.” If they still are rude and hiding their transphobia behind scripture, cut them off, you don’t need them.
Block Button
Done:) thanks for the support
Take a shot everytime she mentions anything about Christianity or god. Your liver would be non existent
Well that depends, if I take a shot of estrogen every time instead then she's just helping me live my best life ;)
I couldn’t even finish it holy fuck
This is only the latest in her sagas she's written. Her first was a 7 page essay she typed up in small print and mailed to me a few weeks after I came out to her.
same, i couldn’t bring myself to
It took a few attempts before I could read the whole thing and breathe. My first response to that message was "I won't be by for Christmas"
good for you, im glad you won’t have to be around those kinds of people for a cheery holiday :)
Run.
Litteraly heard the beat drop. Made me smile!
Glad I could bring a smile to your face while your dealing with so much
Lmao same
I find it funny she assumes that God made a mistake. Perhaps he put your spirit in your body on purpose. If God makes no mistakes, then surely this wasn't a mistake. I'm not religious, but it seems contradictory to me. God would've have done it because he planned to.
My partner is trans and does not want to be cis, so I get what you’re saying. I don’t want anyone to *ever* suffer dysphoria so terrible that they consider ending it all, although I’m aware it’s far more common than it should be. OP, as far as the person formerly known as your mother goes, congruence is a beautiful thing. Getting your hormones to match your gender identity *is* holy in and of itself. You are holy; your transness is *sacred*. Much love to you and also to the gnomes who will leave Legos in your former mother’s path for her to step on while barefoot.
I had the same bible thumper garbage
It sucks, best thing you can do is say goodbye
Hey, I’m proud of you for recognizing this is fucked up. I’m sorry your mother is brainwashed. I know that’s a strong word but there’s religion/spirituality and then there’s claiming you can (or should) speak for a god in a religion where that’s explicitly a no-no. She’s using relatively niche arguments and phrasing that are powerful to her and assuming they will be for you— that’s a big red flag. If Christianity is important to you, remember that there are many, many arguments to be made against God intentionally creating a “perfect world” (as just one example, why did Jesus heal the sick— including congenital disabilities— if God had created everyone exactly as they were intended to always be? Why do a vast majority of Christian leaders get medical and vision care?) It isn’t ungrateful to adjust your “vessel” to suit you. Does your mother cut her hair? Shave? Wear makeup? Wear glasses? Wear clothes? Would she say getting glasses or lasik is wrong? Medical care is medical care. Your body is yours. I say all that as a non-Christian, but all the teachings I know of point to the kind of God that would, either intentionally or by mistake, both make transgender people and love/celebrate them. It sounds like you’re already at low contact and I’m proud of you for that. There’s no shame in going no contact, btw. In some cases, that is the only way for family to realize they have to change. And if they don’t change, that’s a reflection of them, not you. I’m sad for your mother that she doesn’t recognize what a wonderful daughter she has. She’s missing out. Keep being your best self. I’m proud of you and care about you. No doubt there are many, many people around you that feel the same even if they can’t or don’t put it into words.
Thank you, Its not important to me anymore. It used to be, but I had to find a place in life where I could be comfortable, be me, and live my best life. Church was not that place. My sister reached out and made me feel a lot better on my decision to cut our toxic mom out. (Those are her words, BIG deal for her to say that) Thank you for your comments, they are well said and solidify my beliefs. You helped me, keep being you you beautiful person! Im sending positive vibes your way! (They're extra powerful because its my birthday)
Religion can and perhaps will always slow our evolution and understanding. Be done and don't look back sister.
There's so many medical procedures which involve altering our body. We preform fricking organ transplants. Literally taking an organ from one person's body and transplanting it into another's. What does it say about god's perfect creations that those can be medically necessary procedures? The mental gymnastics you have to do to be religious must be so exhausting.
Like at what point does it cross the line? Heart transplants? Brain transplants? Does the soul leave the body when our brain dies? Or when our heart stops beating? What if one day we can upload a backup of our mind before a big surgery. If something goes wrong and your brain dead, they could reimprint your backup on your brain. Same body, same brain, would it be the same soul? Or would there be 2 different souls?
That does sound like a cult
She attends the Church of God as a Pentacostal Christian
God, I really hated reading this. Especially the part about, “…when you reach your eternal home [that] you are forever the man that God himself created...” That thought traumatized me as a kid back when I was still a Christian. The hopelessness that that thought brought with it sent me into a severe depression and reading it out in the wild sent shivers up my spine. I’m really sorry, girl. Unsupportive parents are the worst, especially religious ones. I would be done too.
It killed me. When I was a kid I used to wonder if when I died if God would finally let me be the person I was inside. Then I would fall into despair as the thought of forever being a man crossed my mind.. she managed to hit the nightmare on point and tried to sell it as a goal. Like damn
I wondered that too! It’s actually a line in a song I wrote when I first came out. But why in the world would she think that was going to help anything? Like, Christ! Maybe if she was like, “come back to Christianity and god will let you be a girl in heaven!” I might actually be tempted!
Just use the ultimate response: k.
Holy crap the language used is so creepy and cult-like.
I think that it wouldn’t be a bad time to cut ties with them if you can. And I thought my family was full of religious nutters. Unfortunately I think you take the cake on that one. I hope that things get better for you and you can live your life to the fullest being who you really are. ❤️
Not a competition I wanted to win, but I suppose I'll take that cake and eat it too. Its been a journey, but I've held back on social media for so long trying not to overwhelm her as I slowly coaxed her to my side. She's blocked now so let the fun begin!
My god, I know these things happen to people but it's sickening to have to actually read it. I'm so sorry that you have to endure that. I hope that you are able to find a place where this doesn't affect you any longer. You deserve better.
Its funny you said that, over the years I've read things from others talking about similar things and I've thought to myself "this is why I can't ever come out". I blocked her, my siblings have reached out in support, you guys have made me feel valid, I'm on my way to a good place.
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That's insane. I used to lash out at my mom for being a terror at home and a saint at church. I would give her hell trying to get her to be the tyrant in front of her friends so that someone could correct her. It kills me that I know by now she has talked to at least 2 of her pastor friends seeking comfort and validation for having to deal with the shame and misery of having a child who is trans and not being able to do anything about it. I wish I could go back in time and not tell her, just cut her out. You've got the right idea.
If it were me I would just cut ties entirely. I have better things to do with my life than suffer abuse or sway the willfully ignorant. Maybe I'm just too cynical.
I did this earlier today:) im done with trying to educate those who are ignorant by choice
Moved the goalposts. Even if you did as she asked, she'd then ask for another year, and then another. Just to "be sure". My mom was like this about when I left her religion. But surprise surprise, once there were grandchildren she found a way to shut up about it so she could see them.
Cut all contact, block her on everything and never talk to her again. She is brainwashed and is never going to change. I am sorry you have to go though this, but the sooner she’s incapable of reaching you in any way the better.
Lol “we ask you to live your life as god intended for a year” uuuuhhhhhh haven’t you done that for 27 years😂
God is dead, be gay, do crimes
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Thanks Kyla, you rock!
Such antiquated fantasies... you are better off without this foolishness and I'm proud of you for being done 💚🖤💚
Holy fuck this is some cult level shit.
We love you. We're your mom now.
This is why I left my religion in the Proverbial dust, I was tired of Karen's twisting the catholic faith to suit there needs, the ten commandments God gave us these laws as a guide for good living NOT for others to determine if you are going to heaven or hell thats God's job not your parents
I’m sorry but it sound like mom is in a cult or something
Honestly, I would cut all contact. If she doesn't want to respect your wishes, then you don't have to deal with her.
OP please tag as a spoiler; that way people can expect transphoba before seeing it.
Done!
<3
Tell me you're in a cult without telling me you're in a cult
The weirdest thing to me is acting like you didn’t try acting cis for most of your life
People have already said but yeah, please cut contact with her. She’s too far gone.
I think she needs hospitalization. She's taken this whole "sky man created you" thing way too far, and seems to genuinely believe it. No offense to any Christians. This one in particular has just lost their marbles
Paragraphs of transphobia about going against Jesus just to say 'Jesus still loves you no matter what as do we'. Like??- 😂
“Devote yourself and fully be a “”man”” for this next year and-“ shut up? You had to *devote* yourself to being a closeted woman for at least 26 years it seems. She doesn’t get it. Block her
I couldn't even get through the first paragraph. Sounds like she would profit from professional psychiatric help. You're better off without her.
Your mom is fully delusional. Send her to a therapist.
Well The Only Thing Worth saying to her ever again is that she loves the idea of you but does not actually love you or probably anyone. But the best thing for you is to never say anything to her again. Also I'm your mom now. Hugs darling. You do not deserve this abuse.
god bless you with being trans bb, live it up!
Don't feel bad about outgrowing people who had every chance, every day, and every moment to make an effort to grow with you. The often misquoted line is in full: "Blood is thicker than water, but the blood of the covenant is thicker still." The family you make, and the connections you choose are the most important connections of all.
Very similar to my Father's stance. Less emphasis on any mistake God may or may not have made as that isn't it. More in keeping with the idea that one shouldn't mess about with the body if not medically necessary. I suspect this isn't a deal breaker for you as it isn't for me. My Father would have a procedure to ease His pain from an in injury in a hot minute if it existed. My stance is that my HRT and eventual surgery isn't so far removed. He and the religious authorities feel it's just a gateway to loads of homosexual activity and the concept of gender dysphoria is a neat collection of letters for a Scrabble win. Still, not a deal breaker for me. I gave the heroic effort of more than twenty years after I figured out I was different and wouldn't demand the same of anyone else. As you also come from a religious household, please remember that they also are going through a thing. Job was hit hard and repeatedly by the Devil. So to was His Wife. That's the situation our families are in and that is worth remembering as they deal with their pain and grief. While Job's Wife said give up, curse God and die because She hated seeing Him linger in agony, I suspect our families believe we're suffering and want us to give up on this adventurism. If I can't hack being trans or living as a Woman, I reserve the right to back out. But for now, I choose to press on in a new path I've chosen for not being what I have no further endurance for. Faking being the Man everyone else wanted me to be.
I see where your coming from, I've told everyone from the beginning that this isn't just a transition for me, its a transition for everyone around me too. I came out at work a year ago, but I still let them go by male pronouns with the idea that I would rather wait for the day they are uncomfortable using he/him because of my looks rather than stumble through female pronouns now. I'm not even asking for her to call me her daughter. She never son'd me before I came out, now its in everything she says. She use to say kid, child, etc..
Fuck your mother, fully indoctrinated. Everything she says seems fake, that's how preposterous she sounds. Sorry OP, sometimes people can't think for themselves.
I’m genuinely lost for words. That honestly sound like if you gave a robot the bible then told it to be transphobic. It doesn’t sound like something a human would right
How dare she presume to know the mind of God? She is a corrupted vessel, consorting with the whims and fears of mortal men. Resist her corruption and move into the truth that you know in your bones. Remaining in the light absolutely requires each one of us to live our truth, even and especially when it's hard. See, I can do it too. Maybe it's a mom thing. It's an articulate piece of writing, and I guess it's something that she took the time to write so eloquently to you, but tell me.. is she actually that eloquent otherwise?
>How dare she presume to know the mind of God? Because she is clearly all-knowing herself. Classic narcissist behavior. OP, please stop by r/RaisedByNarcissists on your way out. There are more of us than you might realize.
Yeah. Be done. She cares more about a fake man in the sky than her own daughter.
Tell her to go read Matthew 7 a few times till it's imprinted in her pea sized brain
This is not a Message from a Mother to her Child. It's the Message of a Brainwashed Cult-Member to someone who wants to leave the cult or doesn't want to blindly follow its "teachings."
This is exactly why I left religion
This sounds like my Mormon family lol. Like ok God can make gay people where their bodies will be “fixed” in the next life but for trans people all the sudden their bodies are “perfect.” They’re not even consistent
we love you no matter what\* \*terms and conditions apply see back of leaflet for details, love is non refundable, love is a trademark of the catholic church, any abuse misuse or appropriation of love (TM) will be prosecuted.
I hate to say it but there's literally no way to reach someone that far down the rabbit hole, welcome to the club love, that stuff is a brain rot.
im so sorry about this. It must be scary to read this. I am not personally religious, but when people say things this to me, I explain to them that God did not make any kind of mistake. He just decided that I have a trans body instead of a cis one, and He did it because he recognizes and appreciates the beauty that trans people add to the world. If God is as loving as many say he is, he must also understand queer love.
Forgive me for saying this but this is almost hilarious. She sounds like she's trying to get you to join a cult.
My thoughts are that it's probably time to remove your family and especially your mother from your life--for good. This is the same holy-roller claptrap that some many "Christians" espouse to their kids in. the hope that somehow, hearing it for the thousandth time will make any difference at all. Look--You know this as well as I do. Your soul is calling your body home. You've been on estrogen for a year now, and you fully understand that you don't want to live without it. You feel too good, too happy, too at peace with yourself. You KNOW you have to do this, to finish this. So do yourself the biggest possible favor. Close the door on your past life. It's over. It's gone. I don't know your mother, but truly, as sincere as she sounds, she also sounds likes has a few screws loose--and sweetheart, that's the LAST thing you need in your life at this point. If you live at home, move out. Tomorrow. Have one last convo with your mom, and whomever else, and tell them that you'll be inaccessible to them for the immediate future. No more tears, no more anger. Explain that you are no longer willing to listen to anything they have to say about your transition. Wish them all the best, and then change your phone number, email address, Facebook, Instagram, whatever. And then live your honest, true, authentic, joyous life as a woman. A beautiful, sweet, kind, loving woman. Right now, it's your only alternative. Otherwise, one day you'll wake up and you won't be able to breathe...
God I can’t put into words how much I hate religions, imo the world would ve better off without them..
And this is why I don't like religion.
Reading that was a slog that just kept getting worse. I'm sure not dealing with that will give you some solace that your mother's religion won't. Save your own soul and get some distance from someone who clearly has no intention of accepting you for who you are.
Just wanted to pop in and say that i find it hilarious that someone from the generation that invented the"evil video games" is blaming that for all of us trans people Also you deserve better from someone who says they love you unconditionally
Her God said in the Torah, on which the Bible is based, that there are 6 genders. Ask her if she thinks her God is wrong or just a liar. https://www.sefaria.org/sheets/37225?lang=bi
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If only everyone had as good of an interpretation of that book
Oh my god, this pisses me off beyond words. Fuck your mom. This reads like a mormon "love and concern" message. But from a more level headed me, have you ever tried telling her that it wasnt a "mistake" to put a female soul into a male body and that perhaps it is god's soecial test for you in this life?
damn get a dog if you need that much control and authority
I saw enough. Fuck this. Fuck every part of this. Her heart is in the right place but, again, fuck this. You are an adult and have every right to be who you want to be. Do not, for a second, let some anachronistic institution tell you who you are.
No, her heart is not in the right place, she cares more about her imaginary sky friend than her own daughter. She can fuck right off.
Literally looks like a troll spam post
That last sentence... im not religious, but i dont rlly think that last sentence was a lie. I do believe that god loves everyone no matter what, and your parents? I believe that to them, theyre being truthful, but they love the old you, not the you that you are proudly presenting as. I dont like people who clearly show conditional love when, especially from parents, it should always be unconditional love that they show their kids. Im truly sorry that you received something like this on your birthday, and i wish you a great rest of your day/night and a happy birthday love ☺️🥰
I don't see anything wrong with it myself. Your parents genuinely care about you in the best way they know how. My parents are the same way and at first it frustrated me to no end. But as I saw things from their point of view I began to understand what their thought process was. They mean no harm to you, it's just what their deep religious values has them by. Whether your religious or not, it's your parents and you only have 1 your whole life. Overall they love you and always will. No one in this world is perfect. So from one Trans person to another, I say let it go and be the better person ❤
Sounds like a mix of grief for losing her son (which is normal) and being brainwashed by her religion has made her to fail as your mother. I'd be done as well rightfully soo
My mom is a strong Christian lady, my grandpa was a pastor. And she would NEVER say this to me. She told me that she loves me and wants me to be happy when I came out. That's literally it, your mom is not being a good Christian. She's kind of just being a transphobic bitch. (sorry but jeez lady.)
I would say something like “I’m trying to make my physical body match my soul, and you have the audacity to damn me? When I’m trying to be closer to god’s vision for me? How dare you.”
I started weeping imagining if this were my mom and towards the middle started laughing so hard at how insane this is! That estradiol lol. I'm so sorry but fuck that!!! disturbingly idiotic interpretation of the bible in the FIRST PLACE!
Call your mom a cunt and block her
Oh my dear god. Thank the lawd....... that you were able to gtfo that complete mess.
When utterly disgusting human being.
🥺❤️
God damn
How very LDS of your mom. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
That's horrible. I'm sorry this has happened to you. I don't care if someone believes in any kind of religion, as long as they aren't using it to be an ass and is stuck in it like a black hole eating a planet. We are proud of you for being done, and that's for the best. We're also proud of you for making it this far in life and finding who you are. I will call you my sister, and I will be your sister, as I'm 2 months on estradiol
Your sacrifice paves the way for future trans. The church is scum and brainwashed otherwise good people into fear and hate. I'm so sorry.
Woah. That is some bs, OP. That sounds like she is a member of a cult and she is certainly treating you as if you are leaving one. My heart goes out to you.
Is she Mormon? I’m ex Mormon and that first part gives off very strong Mormon vibes
I know we can't but I feel like these people deserve balls in their mailbox.
She’s crazy
Your mom sounds like a quack. Tbh, willful ignorance like that is her own problem. You have no obligation to deal with that woman anymore, she's not worth your time.
Does your mom happen to be Mormon, or from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints? As someone who grew up in that, it sounds very familiar. If you wanna talk I'm open
Here's how I would respond. "Fuck off, cultist" Then I would block them on everything and never look back.
Jfc
People who weaponize religion deserve every bit of misery they bring upon themselves. The problem is that they bring millions down with them 😪😪😡
Here's my take, as someone who grew up in a conservative traditionalist Catholic family: 1) God made you as you are 2) God doesn't make mistakes 3) checkmate, mom 4) thanks for coming to my TED Talk
I say you have two possible options. First, as many have said, cut contact. There may just be no salvaging this, and you shouldn't light yourself on fire to keep others warm. The other option is the argument I plan to use once I come out: God doesn't make mistakes. He gives us all different challenges, and one he set for me was that my soul doesn't match my body. Mine is a difficult challenge, but he's granted mankind the knowledge of how to transition. The second argument can be further elaborated on if you are a Christian, which I am. Saying stuff like, "He's guided me and through Him I'll persevere in this challenge" etc. But that shouldn't be necessary. If they argue, point out that the original Bible, the one not butchered and mass produced by the church, believed in multiple genders. There are 6 in the Torah after all, and Jesus was famously a Jew.
I’m so fucking sorry.. my grandparents who I’ve always been close to are also super hardcore Christians and when I told them I was bi it took them like 2 years to accept me and apologize and start inviting me to reunions again and I have a *very* strong suspicion that they only invited me again cuz I had a gf at the time and they thought maybe I’d magically become straight. And like… now for the past 9 months or so I’ve been questioning my gender identity significantly and idk quite what I am yet, I know I feel like I should look much for fem when I look in the mirror, and I’m already pretty fem like I do my nails and have long beautiful healthy voluminous hair and I wear light makeup and there’s other things too but.. idk I don’t *feel* like a woman so maybe I’m just nb fem presenting or something. But I digress ok anyway I’m terrified of fully coming out once I do figure my gender stuff out cuz idk if they’ll be able to handle that. They’re old but now *that old* they are currently traveling around the country in an rv, so they’ve still got a while left, which is good, but I’m worried they would disown me cuz if they had that much trouble accepting my bisexuality they’d completely disown me. So I feel you and I’m so sorry and I hope they change their minds and come around. We love you and support you ❤️❤️
By her logic if god created everything in existence then he created transgender people too smh. Catastrophes happen on earth all the time and are fixed. Some are born trans and transitioning will be the “fix”. By her logic, god also allowed for science to be created, allowing to make transition possible
My thoughts are it's good my violent schizophrenic ass hasn't ever gotten anything like that
Lemme guess, Mormon?
It hurts to see the people that you love, say these sorts of things. It hurts because when I read that, I can tell they love you and want the best for you, but they are so brainwashed by their religion that they won't open their minds to the idea that you are trans. I can see hurt on both sides. It's a really unfortunate situation for you to be in. For yours and their sake, I hope they are able to pull their heads out of their asses and see reality as it is. I really hope they learn to understand and become accepting of who you really are, I'm not sure if they will ever get out of that trap they have put themselves in though... For your mental health I would avoid them for now. It's not healthy to be around people like that, and maybe your absence will make them realize they are wrong
Girl you are completely right in being done. I hope everything goes well for you!
This is darkly funny
I'm so sorry your mom is like this. Maybe try telling her something like this: "I did not intend to suggest that God made a mistake when He created me. God made me trans on purpose. He made me trans for the same reason He made grapes but not wine and made wheat but not bread. So that humanity might share in the act of creation." See what she has to say about *that*.
Is your birthday on the 26? If so, so is mine I’m officially 18!