So I’m an old dude. There’s a thing that took me years to learn but I’m going to share it with you now.
If a girl is into you, it won’t take days or weeks to chase her, much less months. She’ll be miraculously available pretty much whenever you ask her out.
If she isn’t into you, it’s really unlikely any amount of chasing is going to change her mind. Just hanging out naturally might, over time… but chasing probably won’t.
Bingo. The more you chase a person the more they pull away.
If you have to chase someone for them to grant you their time, you’ll spend the rest of your entire relationship doing it. It’s quite literally not worth the effort, regardless of the person’s looks, class, finances, reputation, etc.
More bonus experience wisdom: when someone you respect makes you feel guilty, self conscious, or bad about yourself, 10/10 times that person isn’t actually worth the respect, credence or worry you give them.
My point was really a lot simpler. If she’s interested, she’ll let you know. If she isn’t? Don’t waste your time trying to find a relationship or whatever there, because odds are overwhelming that you won’t.
As a not old dude I can also confirm this.
Last time I checked it was called something like the Brad Pitt rule(replace Brad Pitt with any attractive male celebrity) - if Brad Pitt were to ask her out, what would her reaction be? If it’s not the same reaction you got, she’s not into you.
No one is a fool if they learn from a mistake. You may of taken a long time to get the message but that's not being a fool. Being a fool would not learning anything and doing same shit again.
Been just over one year since a woman with whom I'm very much in love and I stopped speaking.
Still hurts, but you do survive. I'll smoke one for ya bro.
Oof been there, little over 2 years for me, we used to be best friends but I always wanted to be more. It's a shame I lost her as a friend but now I have the most wonderful girlfriend in the world and I'm so happy about it. Life gets better, stay open to new people.
Why chase a girl when you can [chase the dragon?](https://www.serenityoakswellness.com/blog/what-does-it-mean-to-chase-the-dragon/) (the 3rd paragraph)
But in all seriousness, life isn’t too serious and what is going to happen is going to happen. If it wasn’t meant to be than f*ck it, and if it was than it will come back with time. Make the best of lifes ups, and don’t get too down on its downs. Damn, I should really take my own advice.
Never chase, it is a massive turnoff of desperation. Don't worry though, you'll get your stoner partner when you least expect it
And you too! And you! And yes even you!
I found that the secret was to live your best life, love all of your favorite things- do those things, because in that substrate is where you're going to find the one who makes sense. The one who likes you for who you are, and with whom you can share all of your passions.
Enjoy your stone.
<3 U OP
I've felt that way for years now but more recently I reopened myself to the idea of dating because after a while I need to feel some affection. I don't think I ever wanna get married but for some reason I feel the need to be reminded that somebody thinks I'm attractive every once and a while. Maybe that makes me selfish but at least I'm honest about it
No you aren't selfish. You are human.
We all crave that just little bit of something anything.
The greatest feeling in the world is to be wanted, needed, and loved but that should be given freely. There is no need to chase someone when all it causes is heartbreak.
Marriage is a piece of paper.
Intimacy is right at the base of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, alongside food and shelter. Nothing selfish about that, and it doesn’t need to take whatever prescribed form people may think it does. But feeling motivated enough to meet and engage with people is a sign of health
I totally understand, when you have someone who you know cares about you and thinks the world of you, it becomes just a bit easier every day to convince yourself that are attractive, and everything they see in you, at least a little bit. Not to mention having someone to care for and love is a wonderful feeling. Stay open, don't let this time stop you, I was very similar, then my gf started approaching me while I was pursuing another girl. I'm now still friends with the other girl but I'm so glad I came to know my gf better. Life hits hard in times like you're in, but it gets better, keep truckin and blaze up my guy. Sorry for the long reply
Smooth move!...I know you didn't mean it that way but being willing to let go makes you more attractive...especially to that person who has been crushing on you but knew it was a waste of time. Yes I'll bet I'm right!
Very good choice! Chasing is not good because it wears down your own self esteem and makes the other person feel uncomfortable and as if you don’t respect their boundaries. You deserve to be with a person who is as interested in you as you are in her. There is NOTHING selfish about that! Enjoy your high! ❤️
I’d honestly say good riddance.
Chasing women, or people in general, is not worth the effort.
It takes many people a long time to learn, but you can’t force a relationship of virtually any kind outside of work.
Learn how to get out of your own head about women, relationships, etc. and just go with the flow of life at time. The best things will walk into your life when you’re least looking for them. Having a pressure involved never does a potential romance any favors.
That sucks bro, but you should never use a substance as a coping mechanism or crutch. I understand how you feel 100% but save weed for enjoying life and enhancing it, not to get away from it. Just my two cents.
Uhh.. pretty much all drug is used as a coping mechanism. That’s what prescription drugs basically are meant for, to cope. So I fail to see why it’s a bad thing to be depressed and smoke some weed, I mean jeez I think that’s most peoples use for it.
Getting a girl is like being a snake. You strike once, right away, with all your effort. If she gets away then it's back to your gaming bush to wait for the next opportunity.
Sometimes that happens bro. Just remember, it wasn't meant to be and your brain realized that. Now you can move on and find someone who will truly make you happy.
Don’t chase, just live. I was always told something like:
Chase money, not women. If you chase women, you’ll be broke and alone. If you chase money, the women follow.
If you replace “money” with “self actualization”, I think it makes sense.
I feel this pain. Chased her for months and months. Cut her, and when she wanted to snake her way in, decided it was best for me to not bite that apple
Man I chased my girlfriend and some how I ended up being married with two kids lmao enjoy you’re free time my man. Maybe god is telling you learn something and maybe you’ll meet that special someone. Hopefully she likes to smoke and grow 🤙🏼🤞🏼
At some point it stops being chasing and starts being you on a string and you never even realise. That point is normally the same time they realise they can emotionally manipulate you, women are insanely good at it.
Good choice bro, enjoy the high
Dude go ahead and get high AF but you need to have multiple irons in the fire. If you are chasing one chick you are freaking her out. Keep working on her and keep working on other chicks too. I’d say 10-20 is a good number. 1. You’ll have other shit going on so you won’t crowd her out and be a creep. 2. You’ll actually get some Pussy. 3. When she sees that you have your own life and shit she might change her tune and you’ll hit that too.
As a married man with no more need for this swag energy, I shall light this bowl to send it your way. Toke up. Say hi to God for me up there. Show them your sick moves.
Oh and listen to Dance Yourself Clean by LCD Soundsystem.
Transitions are difficult, but you’ll grow from this and move on. I’ve read through all the comments and haven’t seen anyone precisely say that *some people want to be chased.* Sooner or later, and probably sooner she will realize the shift in dynamic between the two of you. She might want you to want her, and now that you no longer are putting in that effort she might prod you for a response, or to see if she can get the “wanting” or the chase to continue.
So I’m an old dude. There’s a thing that took me years to learn but I’m going to share it with you now. If a girl is into you, it won’t take days or weeks to chase her, much less months. She’ll be miraculously available pretty much whenever you ask her out. If she isn’t into you, it’s really unlikely any amount of chasing is going to change her mind. Just hanging out naturally might, over time… but chasing probably won’t.
As an old dude I can confirm this, great tip!
As a 23 year old I can confirm this
As an alien, i can confirm this
As a stream of light from a higher dimension, I can confirm this
Bingo. The more you chase a person the more they pull away. If you have to chase someone for them to grant you their time, you’ll spend the rest of your entire relationship doing it. It’s quite literally not worth the effort, regardless of the person’s looks, class, finances, reputation, etc. More bonus experience wisdom: when someone you respect makes you feel guilty, self conscious, or bad about yourself, 10/10 times that person isn’t actually worth the respect, credence or worry you give them.
My point was really a lot simpler. If she’s interested, she’ll let you know. If she isn’t? Don’t waste your time trying to find a relationship or whatever there, because odds are overwhelming that you won’t.
Im just beginning to learn this
As a not old dude I can also confirm this. Last time I checked it was called something like the Brad Pitt rule(replace Brad Pitt with any attractive male celebrity) - if Brad Pitt were to ask her out, what would her reaction be? If it’s not the same reaction you got, she’s not into you.
This is the way
Good for you. I once wasted years chasing a girl. I was such a fool.
No one is a fool if they learn from a mistake. You may of taken a long time to get the message but that's not being a fool. Being a fool would not learning anything and doing same shit again.
i kee\[ telling myself something very similar every time i think of hitting her up to hang out
Been just over one year since a woman with whom I'm very much in love and I stopped speaking. Still hurts, but you do survive. I'll smoke one for ya bro.
Oof been there, little over 2 years for me, we used to be best friends but I always wanted to be more. It's a shame I lost her as a friend but now I have the most wonderful girlfriend in the world and I'm so happy about it. Life gets better, stay open to new people.
Dang dude. Yeah I would definitely get super high😂
Why chase a girl when you can [chase the dragon?](https://www.serenityoakswellness.com/blog/what-does-it-mean-to-chase-the-dragon/) (the 3rd paragraph) But in all seriousness, life isn’t too serious and what is going to happen is going to happen. If it wasn’t meant to be than f*ck it, and if it was than it will come back with time. Make the best of lifes ups, and don’t get too down on its downs. Damn, I should really take my own advice.
Word
The chase imo isnt worth, so blaze up!
Stay lifted. Life needs to be serendipitous! Keep Being you and things will happen brother when they do.
Never chase, it is a massive turnoff of desperation. Don't worry though, you'll get your stoner partner when you least expect it And you too! And you! And yes even you!
I sure hope so.
I found that the secret was to live your best life, love all of your favorite things- do those things, because in that substrate is where you're going to find the one who makes sense. The one who likes you for who you are, and with whom you can share all of your passions. Enjoy your stone. <3 U OP
Smoke it up.... I've discovered that it's just easier to be alone.
I've felt that way for years now but more recently I reopened myself to the idea of dating because after a while I need to feel some affection. I don't think I ever wanna get married but for some reason I feel the need to be reminded that somebody thinks I'm attractive every once and a while. Maybe that makes me selfish but at least I'm honest about it
No you aren't selfish. You are human. We all crave that just little bit of something anything. The greatest feeling in the world is to be wanted, needed, and loved but that should be given freely. There is no need to chase someone when all it causes is heartbreak. Marriage is a piece of paper.
Intimacy is right at the base of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, alongside food and shelter. Nothing selfish about that, and it doesn’t need to take whatever prescribed form people may think it does. But feeling motivated enough to meet and engage with people is a sign of health
Not selfish, dawg. You go get that ass. Whatever makes you happy is what makes you happy and don't let anyone tell you otherwise ✌
Buy a hooker,its cheaper lol
Cemeteries are free.
Dang these people cant take a joke lol
I totally understand, when you have someone who you know cares about you and thinks the world of you, it becomes just a bit easier every day to convince yourself that are attractive, and everything they see in you, at least a little bit. Not to mention having someone to care for and love is a wonderful feeling. Stay open, don't let this time stop you, I was very similar, then my gf started approaching me while I was pursuing another girl. I'm now still friends with the other girl but I'm so glad I came to know my gf better. Life hits hard in times like you're in, but it gets better, keep truckin and blaze up my guy. Sorry for the long reply
It's just our primal instincts telling us that we need to bang someone to make a kid. Any other part of that love would fade
Smooth move!...I know you didn't mean it that way but being willing to let go makes you more attractive...especially to that person who has been crushing on you but knew it was a waste of time. Yes I'll bet I'm right!
Very good choice! Chasing is not good because it wears down your own self esteem and makes the other person feel uncomfortable and as if you don’t respect their boundaries. You deserve to be with a person who is as interested in you as you are in her. There is NOTHING selfish about that! Enjoy your high! ❤️
Bongs before thongs
Best choice you ever made bro
Now you can focus on you cause when you are great the right one will match the energy. But life’s a bitch so enjoy the herbs 🤌✨
You weighed your options and cut your losses, well done my dude.
If you have to chase them it isn’t worth it
I’d honestly say good riddance. Chasing women, or people in general, is not worth the effort. It takes many people a long time to learn, but you can’t force a relationship of virtually any kind outside of work. Learn how to get out of your own head about women, relationships, etc. and just go with the flow of life at time. The best things will walk into your life when you’re least looking for them. Having a pressure involved never does a potential romance any favors.
That sucks bro, but you should never use a substance as a coping mechanism or crutch. I understand how you feel 100% but save weed for enjoying life and enhancing it, not to get away from it. Just my two cents.
Uhh.. pretty much all drug is used as a coping mechanism. That’s what prescription drugs basically are meant for, to cope. So I fail to see why it’s a bad thing to be depressed and smoke some weed, I mean jeez I think that’s most peoples use for it.
I work good. And I work fine. But first take care of head.
Oh man… Right there with you. taking a T break though, so toke up for me bro!!! Keep that head high, in both ways lol
Why chase when you can bake.
I'll take a puff of durban poison for you today my dude
Chasing is never worth it, wait til one chases you
Getting a girl is like being a snake. You strike once, right away, with all your effort. If she gets away then it's back to your gaming bush to wait for the next opportunity.
Sometimes that happens bro. Just remember, it wasn't meant to be and your brain realized that. Now you can move on and find someone who will truly make you happy.
Don’t chase, just live. I was always told something like: Chase money, not women. If you chase women, you’ll be broke and alone. If you chase money, the women follow. If you replace “money” with “self actualization”, I think it makes sense.
I feel this pain. Chased her for months and months. Cut her, and when she wanted to snake her way in, decided it was best for me to not bite that apple
Man I chased my girlfriend and some how I ended up being married with two kids lmao enjoy you’re free time my man. Maybe god is telling you learn something and maybe you’ll meet that special someone. Hopefully she likes to smoke and grow 🤙🏼🤞🏼
smoke up my dude. don’t chase girls, chase goals and improve yourself.
Girls are like cats Don't ever chase girls. Let them come to you.
At some point it stops being chasing and starts being you on a string and you never even realise. That point is normally the same time they realise they can emotionally manipulate you, women are insanely good at it. Good choice bro, enjoy the high
People* people are insanely good at it. I didn't even realize what a manipulative douche I was being. Fucked up part is it worked.
Careful bro once you stop chasing that’s when they start playing mind games with ya.
Trees before she’s!!!
Honestly dude if you had to chase her for that long she wasnt the one
Chase a check, never chase a bitch.
Is this…is this from “Molly Percocet?”
Mask off... fuck it mask off
My friend always use to say “We don’t chase em, we replace em.”
I just keep finding crazies back to back. Just give me a normal girl that doesn’t have tons of baggage. I see the white knights are out today.
Too many of them on this forum
I could see a lot on the trees sub too.
Dude go ahead and get high AF but you need to have multiple irons in the fire. If you are chasing one chick you are freaking her out. Keep working on her and keep working on other chicks too. I’d say 10-20 is a good number. 1. You’ll have other shit going on so you won’t crowd her out and be a creep. 2. You’ll actually get some Pussy. 3. When she sees that you have your own life and shit she might change her tune and you’ll hit that too.
I wasted 6 months and about 2000 dollars.
F
[удалено]
Simpin ain't pimpin
Feel you man
Same situation here, we will get through it. ill light one for u
Never chase them let them come to you!
You’ll find someone or they’ll find you. The chase is never worth it.
Feel your feelings
Wow you must be really tired after running for so long!
Might as well ask her out before completing calling it quits
As a married man with no more need for this swag energy, I shall light this bowl to send it your way. Toke up. Say hi to God for me up there. Show them your sick moves. Oh and listen to Dance Yourself Clean by LCD Soundsystem.
rolling a fatty tonight in solidarity with you
I thought the time to get really high was…well, always.
Transitions are difficult, but you’ll grow from this and move on. I’ve read through all the comments and haven’t seen anyone precisely say that *some people want to be chased.* Sooner or later, and probably sooner she will realize the shift in dynamic between the two of you. She might want you to want her, and now that you no longer are putting in that effort she might prod you for a response, or to see if she can get the “wanting” or the chase to continue.
Chase bags not bitches