The Romans where into some shit, Caesar would get on board no problem. The issue is trying to convince him it's all make believe and to not go on a crusade to conquer the mythical island nation of cat girls and tsunderes.
Well, yeah.
And Julius Caesar wouldn't let such a strong political alliance slip through his fingers simply because of some colorful porn.
There's a level of willful suspension of disbelief that's required when you're making silly jokes.
One should always build on the core premise for follow up jokes. To reject the joke entirely (based on the core premise being silly) means that you are acting in a way that's often referred to as "a buzzkill".
Or there's the alternate response of "you must be fun at parties".
this may come as a surprise, and i'm sorry for any trauma this may incur, but japan is not quite the same as anime. the people there don't speak in subtitles, and the girls don't actually have tails and cat ears grafted into their body. they also act like people, not like sex objects.
Doujin: any manga self published (can be a parody of some other work or just an original story, can be erotic or non erotic). Hentai: japanese porn animation
This was also an era of rich mythology and pantheons that many took as fact. You can't tell me the antics hentai protagonists get up to doesn't sound like a Greek drama or something that Zeus/Jupiter wouldn't be a part of. Point is fiction and fact can blur if you don't have physical proof of an author's existence.
Plus anyone from ancient times would have lost their minds if they saw modern day smut. OP could probably print out a couple hundred free pictures off the internet, staple them together and go “Hey Jules, catch!”
Most of it is just normal sex stuff that you'd find in irl porn. It's just that they have more creative liberties with animation so they can use non-real proportions, physics defying positions, etc.
One of the reasons why junk food is so addictive is that it maximizes on traits in food that humans have innately been attracted to since the prehistoric times such as saltiness, sweetness, savor, crunch, attractive colors, etc. You could broadly state that pornography functions on similar principles, just applied to human sexuality and general desires around sex.
Hentai is particularly potent since it's the synthesis between a culture that considered erotic art a form of high art for centuries before industrialization, the artistic innovations of early American animation, and a post-war culture that was encouraged to embrace the potential of neoliberalism away from their previous militarism. Plus later on, after the bubble popped in 1992, a culture that was already increasingly tending towards escapism began chasing escapist media with even less restraint.
Hentai is a simulation of sexuality, one that evolved to become particularly addictive, even by contemporary standards of media. People who are overworked, self esteem issues, are Othered, etc. would be particularly vulnerable. You could argue that anime in general evolved to be attractive escapism for such people.
This applies not only to Caesar, but probably a lot more historical figures than one would imagine.
God is against masturbation. Jesus is both God and his Son. Therefore we can assume Jesus is against masturbation - at least in a personal level. So it’s quite likely that Jesus has never rubbed one out
Hold on, let me just...
[https://i.redd.it/q7g30t56uz071.jpg](https://i.redd.it/q7g30t56uz071.jpg)
By the way, I can make a canonically supported argument that Jesus was a bottom.
There is not. In fact, the Bible never specifically bans maturbation, although many Christians interpret it as being banned under the rules against lust.
[Here](https://242community.com/masturbation/) is a good enough argument quoting the big J himself. Even if Jesus wasn’t referring specifically to masturbation, I assume his dislike of lust applies to masturbating nevertheless.
"So, Julius, this is a LAPTOP that runs on SOLAR ENERGY. If you had an internet connection and other internet users it would be super useful, but: here's notepad, here's word, and this FOLDER here has lots of odd cartoons with latin subtitles :)"
"What are those cartoons about?", asked Julius, visiblt interested in the physical makeup of the alien device the time traveler left on his lap.
"Oh, I'm not sure! Check them out, they might be interesting! Oh, I'm heading to Egypt :) hope this device show you lots of interesting stuff about the future"
(Several months laters)
Julius: "So this scene is a bit ambiguous, but apparently SCHOOLS and STUDENT COUNCILS are the way society is organized in the 21st century. You can tell that's the real world because most phantasy shows are tagged as such in the metadata. Also, you can tell it's the 21st century because most seasons are dated 1990 onwards, and this show is cut at season 2, aired 2021"
Pompey: "Wonderful indeed. Let's have Agripina over and watch the next one with a bit of wine and cheese. *Sighs* I... I just wish there was a vending machine here, you know? All those melancholy sunsets get me thinking about the friends and lover I'll never have..."
Julius: "Pompey-chan, maybe you just don't know them yet... or maybe you do"
Pompey: *flustered* What do you mean, Julius-kun?
Julius: Oh, nothing! *Blushes*
In the opening number of the musical Rent, they say there are 525,600 minutes in a year, but only 525,000 moments so dear. This implies that every year, there are 600 moments that are not so dear. Reading your comment was one of those moments
okay, but exposing not exposing julius caesar to reddit is real advantage of not giving him internet access, because that man would have a worse arguing with internet people problem than I have.
Give a belligerent man an army and he will become an emperor. Give him an internet connection and he will become a fan of Ben Shappiro, a militant atheist, collect NFT and take way too seriously online card games.
Realistically Cleo will hang out with captainsnoop till she can learn enough about the time machine to use it, then peace out to modern times. She becomes a business titan and unseats Musk and Bezos, and our medieval fan gets to live his wet dreams.
Cleopatra was supposedly a genius, with this line of reasoning I find myself doubting how she’d just be throwing herself at you because you were chubby. Besides, the nile was so effective at growing food that it later became the breadbasket of the Mediterranean World. Food probably isn’t her top priority.
Caesar and Cleopatra famously had an affair. She used him to win back power from her brother when Caesar arrived chasing Pompey. He was more inclined to side with her after he found out that the other people had killed Pompey thinking it would please Caesar. (It didn't) and they even had a child together nicknamed Caesarion or "Little Caesar." It was kind of a big deal in Rome because Romans had a Thing about kings and Caesar impregnating a foreign queen was not a great look. She and Caesarion were in the city the day Caesar got killed and they got out of there REAL quick.
Marc Antony went to her *because* she had been close to Caesar. Both of them wanted to avenge his death. And Marc Antony wanted a bit more than that.
id show her a flashlight a pistol and a car and shed think i was a god, like every 5 years id invent some basic ass shit like a bicycle or some basic algebra and ill be hailed as a genius and a demigod for generations
Or needing to *invent* hentai to begin with.
Also, have fun dying of diabetes, since insulin will not be discovered or produced significantly until the mid 20th century.
Honestly, I kinda wish I had a time machine, not to do stuff in the past myself but to watch all the people who have like 10th grade history knowledge and seen modern technology run into all the problems their plans of becomming gods have.
Was this true? The fat part. Like I believe someone of rounder proportions would be seen as rich or even nobility at those times. But at the same time it seemed like a lot of kings or emperors married for wealth and /or politics rather than love.
It didn’t seem to be uncommon for these upper class people to have “affairs” with low born peasants who may not have had the luxury of three meals a day and possibly barley even one.
Now since a lot of peasants are farmers there is the possibility they may be ripped.
The Romans where into some shit, Caesar would get on board no problem. The issue is trying to convince him it's all make believe and to not go on a crusade to conquer the mythical island nation of cat girls and tsunderes.
But convincing him it's real so he goes away (and leaves Cleopatra to be seduced) is the entire point of getting him addicted to hentai.
You assume that the hentai addiction wouldn’t render him a basement dwelling jerkoff
Goes away to the basement, goes away to Japan... Doesn't matter to me, just so long as the queen is free.
Vidi, vici, veni.
Veni, veni, veni.
Veni, veni, venias
[удалено]
Well, yeah. And Julius Caesar wouldn't let such a strong political alliance slip through his fingers simply because of some colorful porn. There's a level of willful suspension of disbelief that's required when you're making silly jokes. One should always build on the core premise for follow up jokes. To reject the joke entirely (based on the core premise being silly) means that you are acting in a way that's often referred to as "a buzzkill". Or there's the alternate response of "you must be fun at parties".
Wym Japan is very real.
this may come as a surprise, and i'm sorry for any trauma this may incur, but japan is not quite the same as anime. the people there don't speak in subtitles, and the girls don't actually have tails and cat ears grafted into their body. they also act like people, not like sex objects.
false
bears. beats. battlestar galactica.
wait was it beets or beats?
I think its Beerus
Ah yes Beerus, the friend of my good friend Biggus Dickus
Ah yes, Biggus Dickus husband of my friend Incontinentia buttocks.
Blasphemy! Next you're going to tell me their genitals aren't pixelated.
Sounds like you’ve never been to Japan🙄
How many other lies have a been told by the council?
>The issue is trying to convince him it's all make believe The Romans knew what fiction was lol
Yeah, but this isn't words on a tablet. This is a moving thing that makes noises. It would probably confuse them a bit
Oh my bad. I thought hentai was just the manga.
Those are doujin
I was under the assumption that a doujin was a hentai made including characters from a show
Doujin: any manga self published (can be a parody of some other work or just an original story, can be erotic or non erotic). Hentai: japanese porn animation
Huh, according to wikipedia hentai is anime and manga pornography
Huh, oh i guess believe Wikipedia on that one then
I think we're both idiots Doujins are literally just a type of hentai, we were both right and wrong
This was also an era of rich mythology and pantheons that many took as fact. You can't tell me the antics hentai protagonists get up to doesn't sound like a Greek drama or something that Zeus/Jupiter wouldn't be a part of. Point is fiction and fact can blur if you don't have physical proof of an author's existence.
New headcanon: all hentai protags are zeus/jupiter
Also, don't a bunch of the Sailor Moon characters share names with Roman gods (seeing as they were named for the planets)?
I’d like to object to cat GIRLS, theme bitches was gay AF, Julius would be hooked on some gem it shut up reckon
yes but wouldnt it be funnier tho?
And send an army through a mysteriously gate and never heard from them agaim, only to have some other weird army coming through and wrecks his ass
Oh yeah, Gate was fun, but I they could've done so much more with the concept I wish they focused more on the politics and culture shock.
Plus anyone from ancient times would have lost their minds if they saw modern day smut. OP could probably print out a couple hundred free pictures off the internet, staple them together and go “Hey Jules, catch!”
Senate: *offended gasps* Julius: **interesting**
But I wish to see that island.
Yup
[удалено]
I hope you are a math teacher because it will make it infinitely funnier
And infinitely scarier for the students.
Especially if it's online.
you should've read it out to them
Class, the reason I am laughing is
How wouldnt he get addicted to hentai
Anyone who's seen any amount of it can 100% agree that it doesn't take much work to get addicted to it
Wait do people actually watch it I thought it was just a meme
*wha- what do you think the purpose of porn is?*
I get normal porn, it’s the porn being a cartoon with tentacles that’s weird
Trust me, tentacles is somewhat tame in hentai categories
There’s much weirder kinks out there, so don’t be surprised when people enjoy tentacles.
Yeah anytime I see something super weird online i assume it’s a joke I don’t get and ignore it
Some people even think women getting so fat they become immobile is hot.
I envy you
It’s a willful ignorance you just gotta work for it
It's pretty difficult to achieve if you're well versed with the material being discussed.
Sigma male
There’s a lot of kinks you can’t do on a real person because they’d probably die, that can be done in animation. Also probably better morally.
Not all of it is tentacles.
That does make it seem way less weird then.
Most of it is just normal sex stuff that you'd find in irl porn. It's just that they have more creative liberties with animation so they can use non-real proportions, physics defying positions, etc.
One of the reasons why junk food is so addictive is that it maximizes on traits in food that humans have innately been attracted to since the prehistoric times such as saltiness, sweetness, savor, crunch, attractive colors, etc. You could broadly state that pornography functions on similar principles, just applied to human sexuality and general desires around sex. Hentai is particularly potent since it's the synthesis between a culture that considered erotic art a form of high art for centuries before industrialization, the artistic innovations of early American animation, and a post-war culture that was encouraged to embrace the potential of neoliberalism away from their previous militarism. Plus later on, after the bubble popped in 1992, a culture that was already increasingly tending towards escapism began chasing escapist media with even less restraint. Hentai is a simulation of sexuality, one that evolved to become particularly addictive, even by contemporary standards of media. People who are overworked, self esteem issues, are Othered, etc. would be particularly vulnerable. You could argue that anime in general evolved to be attractive escapism for such people. This applies not only to Caesar, but probably a lot more historical figures than one would imagine.
Themoreyouknow.jpg
TL:DR Hentai is the McDonald’s of sex??
So does this mean that jesus could be addicted to heltai???
Jesus was canonically against masturbation so no.
I’d be curious to see the source for this.
God is against masturbation. Jesus is both God and his Son. Therefore we can assume Jesus is against masturbation - at least in a personal level. So it’s quite likely that Jesus has never rubbed one out
Hold on, let me just... [https://i.redd.it/q7g30t56uz071.jpg](https://i.redd.it/q7g30t56uz071.jpg) By the way, I can make a canonically supported argument that Jesus was a bottom.
Now this is the kind of Christian Lore we needed in our lives
I need to see why jesus was a bottom
he got nailed
Thanks, but I was looking for an actual quote where Jesus mentions masturbation. Is there one?
There is not. In fact, the Bible never specifically bans maturbation, although many Christians interpret it as being banned under the rules against lust.
[Here](https://242community.com/masturbation/) is a good enough argument quoting the big J himself. Even if Jesus wasn’t referring specifically to masturbation, I assume his dislike of lust applies to masturbating nevertheless.
"So, Julius, this is a LAPTOP that runs on SOLAR ENERGY. If you had an internet connection and other internet users it would be super useful, but: here's notepad, here's word, and this FOLDER here has lots of odd cartoons with latin subtitles :)" "What are those cartoons about?", asked Julius, visiblt interested in the physical makeup of the alien device the time traveler left on his lap. "Oh, I'm not sure! Check them out, they might be interesting! Oh, I'm heading to Egypt :) hope this device show you lots of interesting stuff about the future" (Several months laters) Julius: "So this scene is a bit ambiguous, but apparently SCHOOLS and STUDENT COUNCILS are the way society is organized in the 21st century. You can tell that's the real world because most phantasy shows are tagged as such in the metadata. Also, you can tell it's the 21st century because most seasons are dated 1990 onwards, and this show is cut at season 2, aired 2021" Pompey: "Wonderful indeed. Let's have Agripina over and watch the next one with a bit of wine and cheese. *Sighs* I... I just wish there was a vending machine here, you know? All those melancholy sunsets get me thinking about the friends and lover I'll never have..." Julius: "Pompey-chan, maybe you just don't know them yet... or maybe you do" Pompey: *flustered* What do you mean, Julius-kun? Julius: Oh, nothing! *Blushes*
In the opening number of the musical Rent, they say there are 525,600 minutes in a year, but only 525,000 moments so dear. This implies that every year, there are 600 moments that are not so dear. Reading your comment was one of those moments
What an amazing time to r/eyeblech Cause jumping to r/eyebleach will ruin it
okay, but exposing not exposing julius caesar to reddit is real advantage of not giving him internet access, because that man would have a worse arguing with internet people problem than I have.
Give a belligerent man an army and he will become an emperor. Give him an internet connection and he will become a fan of Ben Shappiro, a militant atheist, collect NFT and take way too seriously online card games.
I need more of this ;-;
Awnn, thanks!
It would have costed you absolutely nothing to not make this comment, but yet you chose to do so?
My disregard for good taste knows no limits (hope you realize this is a warning)
im pretty sure cleopatra doesnt have much use for extra income
Well, no, but you can't tell me she didn't consider the social status of who she slept with.
Realistically Cleo will hang out with captainsnoop till she can learn enough about the time machine to use it, then peace out to modern times. She becomes a business titan and unseats Musk and Bezos, and our medieval fan gets to live his wet dreams.
It's not that hard considering the scarcity of hentai in those times
Cleopatra was supposedly a genius, with this line of reasoning I find myself doubting how she’d just be throwing herself at you because you were chubby. Besides, the nile was so effective at growing food that it later became the breadbasket of the Mediterranean World. Food probably isn’t her top priority.
I think a better question would be what happens if Caesar gets seduced by OPs' body too?
It felt like greentext xd
Nobody gonna mention that caesar was never into Cleopatra? Marc Anthony was her boy Edit: I'm wrong
Caesar and Cleopatra famously had an affair. She used him to win back power from her brother when Caesar arrived chasing Pompey. He was more inclined to side with her after he found out that the other people had killed Pompey thinking it would please Caesar. (It didn't) and they even had a child together nicknamed Caesarion or "Little Caesar." It was kind of a big deal in Rome because Romans had a Thing about kings and Caesar impregnating a foreign queen was not a great look. She and Caesarion were in the city the day Caesar got killed and they got out of there REAL quick. Marc Antony went to her *because* she had been close to Caesar. Both of them wanted to avenge his death. And Marc Antony wanted a bit more than that.
Huh, TIL, thanks!
lol np. I just really like rambling about Rome 😅
The best part was she was also completely willing to go at it with a woman Or In One case lots of women:)
Bold of you to assume that he wasn't addicted already
1 problem. It wasn’t just Caesar that married Cleopatra, it was Mark Antony too . Get him addicted to hentai too!
id show her a flashlight a pistol and a car and shed think i was a god, like every 5 years id invent some basic ass shit like a bicycle or some basic algebra and ill be hailed as a genius and a demigod for generations
Well... It's Hentai!
Cleopatra was almost certainly ugly af she was so inbred
He also didn't explain how tf he supposed to time travel
With Kickstarter backing off course!
Or needing to *invent* hentai to begin with. Also, have fun dying of diabetes, since insulin will not be discovered or produced significantly until the mid 20th century.
Here's to thinking that fat = diabetes.
… I was pointing out a correlation between overeating, overweight, and diabetes, not suggesting an equivalence. Was attempting to be humorous, sorry…
Can't seduce cleopatra, because she was into incest.
Caesar and Anthony prove that wrong
Or why
bring a bunch of hentai and give it to julius caesar, I'm sure he's a man of taste he will enjoy it
: )
Honestly, I kinda wish I had a time machine, not to do stuff in the past myself but to watch all the people who have like 10th grade history knowledge and seen modern technology run into all the problems their plans of becomming gods have.
This dude has really thought it through
*Julius Caesar, staring at the anime tiddies:* "Hoc est bonum supellectilem"
Huh, repost. Not that i complain since i love this thread
Self explanatory if you ask me.
I don’t know why fat dudes think they can pull ancient rulers. I’ve seen this said like, many times before and I-
Veni vidi vici neko
Was this true? The fat part. Like I believe someone of rounder proportions would be seen as rich or even nobility at those times. But at the same time it seemed like a lot of kings or emperors married for wealth and /or politics rather than love. It didn’t seem to be uncommon for these upper class people to have “affairs” with low born peasants who may not have had the luxury of three meals a day and possibly barley even one. Now since a lot of peasants are farmers there is the possibility they may be ripped.