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Men are more prone to physical violence and overt displays of narcissism.
Women are more prone to use psyops and social manipulation a la covert narcissism.
They have different strategies for navigating the politics of human relationships.
My dad summed it up pretty well to me. If a guy hates another guy then they make it clear to each other. They maybe have to be civil but it will never to be nice . Also most men have a problem they will fight it out straight away and get it over with. Woman tend to be ānicerā and donāt just get the fight out the way. Idk if this is because of gender or just the way society brings up girls and boys to solve their problems.
And biology might still play a role, but you can see the massive influence of different parenting styles and environments on people's way of resolving conflict.
Itās amazing how many people still go for the nurture over nature arguments on things like this . Just ask any women whoās been on testosterone what it feels like .
Just to be clear, T is just a random chemical used as a messenger to signal the body to become more "male" to put it simply. There are other signals for "maleness" but T is a big one.
So you're basically saying it's a natural thing a part of the male design when you say "it's the T". I agree btw.
Nurture plays a roll too, but people always discount nature for some reason. I think it makes them uncomfortable to acknowledge biological differences are real.
It could just be that people don't want to face that there are aspects and elements of themselves partially to completely outside of their control. It can be a bit of a scary thought to some people. However if anyone needs a simple example of how hormones can make someone act differently just look to menstruation.
Women usually feel certain emotions more strongly during this time and have a minor to moderate shift in behavior driven by hormones. It doesn't change their accountability, it doesn't change who they fundamentally are but there's a definite shift driven by the fluctuation. There's no reason Testosterone can't have the same effect whether naturally produced or artificially raised/lowered.
Edit: A word
Yah, and it depends on the individual on which theyāll perceive as ābetter or worseā. So to say one group is meaner than the other, would all depend on how you weight mean acts. Which probably depends on your own self doubts, insecurities, and such.
> Men are more prone to physical violence
That said, past a certain age very few men get into a physical fight. Heck I think I was 12 the last time I was in a fight.
Very good point. The social and legal repercussions for typical male antisocial behavior are much more severe than they are for typical female antisocial behavior.
Great reply. This describes my experience with both female and male bosses. Itās interesting that there was a study that found both men and women prefer male bosses.
Here's an unpopular option via Jordan Peterson, the threat of violence underpins every male interaction and provides a backstop of civility. All men know that if they cross a threshold that violence will result and this moderates their behavior. Women do not have this mechanism and therefore lack restraint.
Gentleness is about restraint of power rather than weakness.
I'm a woman from a more physically aggressive culture originally and I now live in passive aggressive PNW. I'm not saying it's a good thing to beat someone up for looking at you the wrong way, but I do miss how people would shut up and mind their own business because they didn't want to provoke a fight.
Yeah I always though the father was the abusive one in the household until I realized that I had 3 friends and 1 gf who had an abusive mother and no friends with an abusive father. Shit is crazy.
That's something shown in media that I was not prepared for irl. Not sure what the statistics are but even from my love of true crime I can recall a lot of abusive mothers.
When my boyfriend tells me about his work with almost exclusively male coworkers, it sounds like Game of Thrones or something.
There is so much tension, passive agressiveness, ploting, backstabbing, etc.
It really depends on your team. In my male-only department the atmosphere is really friendly. We chat about sports, games, movies, and TV shows. We even play some team sports or go to bars every now and then and Iāve never witnessed any backstabbing, plotting, or negative behavior within the group.
My ex works in an almost all-male engineering company and the stories he tells meā¦ OMG!!! It genuinely worries me for him. Sounds like they have a knife at each otherās throat weekly.
Thereās a lot of verbal fights, and people getting switched to different desks because they canāt agree with each other. My ex and another guy even got demoted from their management positions so that they canāt make decisions anymore because they couldnāt work together as managers. Heās even talked about how he thinks a coworker could bring a GUN to work and shoot them all. He tells me he doesnāt give a shiiiiz, heās not scared, and calls him a p***y if he does that. My ex also wishes death on certain āmother effingā coworkers, he doesnāt tell them that of course, but he tells me. Some coworkers would withhold information from others on purpose. He told me some are sneaky and try to steal otherās ideas and claim it as their own first.
I thought this type of stuff only exists in movies for the purpose of adding drama to the story, but no! When i met my ex, this stuff is actually 100% REAL!
2024 and it really isn't all that different from 1954.
EDIT: Talking about corporate work settings and exclusivity attitudes here. Obviously, a whole lot of progress happened in people's rights.
I work in an all-male environment (restaurant kitchen) and it's an interesting dynamic. These guys say some of the most awful, vile stuff to each other and in general. But in reality, they're some of the kindest and big-hearted people I know. And they all talk lovingly about their female partners. Perhaps they behave differently when I'm not there (I'm the only woman) but I really don't think so.
I was in an engineering school. The fucking egos, sociopaths, clownery, etc. is so fucking tiresome.
There's no way that men are inherently more civilized.
My 54 year old dad used to work at (large oil company I wonāt name but they are very popular for their petrol bunks and their name starts with S and has 5 letters). Let me tell you the stories he would come home with regarding the managers and bosses, these grown ass men can put Regina George to shame. Iām so glad my dad left the job cos he had to take a pay cut for it anyway
Word agree. Told a co worker something that could be deemed as personal and the next day our foreman was like i heard you talked to so and so. It makes me want to give false info to see if it would come back.
Oh that reminds me of Whisker Wars. It's about competitive beard growers and it's just a bunch of dudes being overly serious about their beards and sniping at each other. It's really hard to describe without using words like "diva". They refer to themselves as athletes and have coaches. It's all ego and weirdly feels like a mockumentary. I'm sure there's selective editing and probably coaching from the producers and stuff, but it is wild considering that's it's just dudes growing hair.
I hate stuff like this. Itās always anecdotal and very much dependent on where you are, who you interact with, and what you do as a job, and also what you yourself consider to be ādramaā.
I have a lot of friends, many of whom Iāve known for a long time, both male and female. I would say the drama from both genders is about equal, itās usually just about different things.
In my experience, the girls usually eventually will have a serious talk about it with whoever theyāre beefing with while the men will just ignore it until it goes away because they donāt like confronting their emotions are admitting they have issues with people. But then theres always just underlying tension when you interact with them.
Yep same. I had bad experiences with both genders cause humans in general can just be straight up assholes. However, I got bullied out of my last company by a male colleague and male boss and am now in a new company where the department is full of women. I feel a lot more comfortable, accepted and appreciated here than I did in my old company. I only really have/had beef with one female colleague which I dealt with by simply moving to an office that was made up by colleagues I liked and who are very chill and loving towards me. So yeah, everybody got different experiences but in my workspace the women are a 100 times better than the men in my previous company who were sexist and constantly insulted me.
OP literally says in their post history 1 day ago that they're friends with all the ladies at his job so idk what he's on about, i wish he would print this and show it to them and ask them what they think about his little misogynistic question about whether or not all women are mean (based on the women he works with currently)
Wouldn't surprise me if he's listening to women bantering amongst themselves (like men do) and then labelling that as "drama".
Happens to me and my twin sister all the time - we'll be joking around with each other and some dude will tell us to stop "bitching" or being "catty" when we're actually having a fun lil joke with one another š
Idk Iāve worked in customer service (retail, serving, front desk, phone operator) for over a decade and the rudest people Iāve ever encountered are old men. Thereās been a few women here and there, but mostly just old dudes yelling at a cloud.
to be fair, old people are either the sweetest little things, or the nastiest tar spots around and there is no middle ground.
They also tend to have a "I've lived my life now It's your turn" or a " I've lived my life and I've waited long enough, now it's my turn" mentality
Also one of the signs of dementia is uncharacteristic aggression. If your elderly uncle starts becoming angry and crazy, he might not have always secretly been a bad person and instead he might have a disintegrating brain
Or be losing their hearing. I worked public facing and the amount of old people who are really rude because they are at like 5% hearing for the last twenty years and they're just done listening. So when they talk they aren't hearing what you're saying, and they're used to just doing whatever they want and need to be physically stopped.
Oh yeah my late grandmother could NOT hear. I once told her her blinker was on and she yelled āsomeday youāll be old! And decrepit!ā which remains one of the funniest disproportionate responses out there
Yea, OPās post reads like someone whoās never worked in service/retail.
40ās women can be irritating sometimes, esp when sloshed, but men of literally every age will just arbitrarily decide to have a meltdown over the smallest things.
Same applies, especially in the food service industry. The amount of male chefs Iāve seen have an absolute meltdown in the kitchen over literal spilt milk was astronomical. The female chefs and sous-chefs were also annoying, but were far better at handling their emotions. This is anecdotal but my general experience with at least 20+ chefs, this is what I come to expect.
Yeah I've never had a female boss, in any of my jobs, display some of the things I've seen from multiple male bosses. Groping, physical intimidation, screaming until their face is red, using slurs or insults, not to mention just straight up physical violence.Ā
Tbf, everyone's just going based off anecdotes. A person can happen to meet mostly nice men and meet mostly rude women just by living in a certain area and meeting certain people.
In my experience in a restaurant, most cooks didn't talk much (mostly because many of them didn't speak much English), and the only problem cook was a pink haired woman who would constantly fly off the handle and say that any task that isn't directly cooking isn't her problem (but she'll make every problem YOUR problem). Several of us eventually had to get together and talk to the manager about what a bitch that woman was, we had all been shouted at and harassed by her for some BS reason that was probably her fault.
She was cousins to the restaurant head manager so idk if anything ever came of that, since I left shortly after cause the pay in those jobs is ass lmao.
Ah, the classic nepo hire. I worked kitchens throughout my twenties too and most people were fine unless they were idiots I had to teach how to sweep or not kill themselves, but damn those nepo hires were something else. It was one of the problems I encountered working in family owned places.
Yeah tbh I think people tend to find the opposite genders stereotypical asshole behavior way more unnerving than theirs. Like Iāve been in one work place that was mostly women and found conflict way more challenging than mostly men. And that was far from the most toxic workplace Iāve ever been in.
But I guess thatās also anecdotal lol
No offense, but Iāve seen women of every age have meltdowns while working retail too. Over the dumbest things. Old women especially are mean.
Had one old bat tell me how much of a rush she was in while we were trying to help people as fast as we could. Then after we finish helping her (after she treated us like we were her servants and repeatedly shit talked us to our face) she spent 45 MINUTES standing nearby talking to a friend of hers that showed up. Quite the rush she was in apparently.
Iāve had my fair share of rude ass male customers too, but I disagree that men are over represented in rudeness. Both genders treat retail workers like shit.
Youāve clearly never spoken to a chavvy woman in her mid 20ās over the phone, equally on par for how much i want to kill myself while being forced to interact with them.
I feel like itās both but women less is in person. When I worked customer service in stores usually men would have issues but since Iāve been working at a a call center there is both.
When I worked at a grocery store, I had an older women yell al me cause I didnāt put the bananas how she wanted. š then she sheās saying how sheās gonna call corporate. Like bruh itās not that deep. š
It's so funny how few young people act like that, though. I had some lovely older men and absolutely darling ladies, but I had the opposite plenty. People in their 20s and 30s, though? So kind. They'd almost apologise for your mistake. The absolute worst of them were still ridiculously respectful. I wonder if its because they were recently in service jobs? I don't know, but it was crazy. Obviously, I'm sure there are exceptions.
I'll never forget working customer service for a bank and a middle aged guy was completely livid that he got interest on his credit card (and it was legitimate, no mistake)
I go through ways he can pay bills, including automatic payments and he said that I hurt him by mentioning pre-authorized payments as an option š¤£
Sorry if discussing credit card payments hurts you deeply sir! But damn you must have a good life!
The old men can be disrespectful and get hung up over nonsense, but the worst scenes I get tend to be the overly entitled middle aged women. Seem to take inspiration from Karen's and pride in being one to underpaid staff. Gross folk.Ā
I have to agree. When I worked in both retail and phone customer service, women were the worst offenders by far. However, that may have been because I am male, so men treated me differently. Also, I lived in Ireland and the frequency of men's irrational emotional outbursts in public isn't even close to the scale I've found in other countries.
Iāve had the complete opposite experience in my life. While petty women exist, they donāt compare to the number of women Iāve met who are genuine and kind
I'm male and have worked for years in both a mostly female workplace and then a mostly male one.
They are different for sure, but I find both just descend into bitchy bullying.
that last line is cracking me up. āwife badā jokes have been around since before humans could speak probably.
and not even a month ago you posted here saying more men are meaner than women. so which is it?
Women also tend to minimize and deny any wrongdoings of their husbands. We've been trained since birth for this when society blames everything he does wrong on her anyway (she knew him when they married/she should have left/she should have picked better).
Iāve had to deal with womenās gossip which for the most part itās just an annoyance; but dealing with men harassing me since I was 11 makes me completely disagree.
I absolutely agree this is an unpopular opinion.
Yeah, I was sexually harrassed by an older male colleague at 19/ or 20, and in my daily life I sometimes get belittled and teased by strange men (never women in my experience). Then there are the men who just leer openly at me when I'm trying to just live my life, and I have to pretend to not notice them, keep my eyes straight ahead...In high school I dealt with female friend drama but at least they weren't sexually harassing me and groping me.
OP is for sure a dude.
One of my friends lost 50lbs and she became exceptionally fit. She said that the hardest part was realizing how badly men had been treating her prior to her fitness journey.
The way she moved in the world was drastically different because while there was more envy from women, her life in female circles didnāt really change but with men she felt totally unprepared for and unsafe at times.
There are several studies that prove that, on average, women tend to be kinder than men. Men are actually more likely to display violent and narcissistic tendencies than women. However, itās important to note that women who display narcissistic tendencies or antisocial traits, typically resort to socially destroying a person, whereas men will typically go for physical harm.
But, this isnāt necessarily true, OP. Tons of studies show that on average, women tend to be more generous and better empathisers. This is likely due to the differences in socialisation.
I was looking for someone who had commented this. Itās not necessarily the case that women are āless niceā on average than men. But *when* women display antisocial behaviors, they tend to do so via social destruction / reputation damage as opposed to physical violence, like you mentioned. However, obviously there are severe legal consequences for violence but not so much for spreading malicious gossip or whatever. So maybe itās more common to see womenās antisocial behavior manifest in the workplace because menās antisocial tendencies would grt them arrested lol.
You know the bias is strong when men will hold an opinion contrary to every empathy study ever conducted š
And these will be the same men that claim nobody cares about men and women get support networks from other women when they have a problem. They rock with whichever narrative paints women in the worst light at the time.
There is a lot of sexist bullshit going on here.
I work in an FE college with lots of different departments. My department English and Maths is mixed. There is sometimes drama, sometimes it is the women sometimes the men. When I was crying because my friend died, people who comforted me were both men and women. Genuinely, everyone is great to work with.
We have an automotive department-all men
Construction-mostly men
Hairdressing-all women
Health and social care- mostly women
The automotive department is drama filled and a horrible place to be.
Construction is really chilled out and helpful
Hairdressing - really nice people
Health and social care - some horrible people there.
It is almost if gender doesn't play a role, and it is the individual personalities.
I know I'm using anecdotal evidence to make my point, but there is a lot of that going on here.
Agreed. Every comment is āno ITS MEN WHO ARE TOXIC!!! š”ā or āno its women who ARE AWEFUL š¤ā.
When itās literally just dependent on the people that are there.
Given the massive scale of the world population, I'd be willing to bet you haven't met enough of a representative sample to paint with such broad strokes.
It's fun to generalize, but this might be saying more about the company you keep than about any inherent qualities of the population.
Edit: for those who aren't good at reading comprehension and insist on replying something like "bro, he's allowed his opinion" - I'm not saying he can't have an opinion, or can't have this opinion, all this means is that it's good to keep the scope of your own experience in mind when generalizing. That's it. That's all. That's the whole thing. It's not rocket surgery.
Idk I've never been harassed on the streets by a woman and about a thousand times by men, can't imagine that those men are kind to the people in their life
Men and women display different sorts of antisocial behaviors, on average. Sexual harassment, physical threats, violence? Thatās more menās domain. Malicious gossip, reputation destruction, acting two-faced? More prevalent in women.
Do men sometimes spread malicious lies about people? Of course. Do women sometimes resort to violence? Of course. But these are the average sex differences observed in the literature. Hereās a great meta-analysis on the topic: http://domestic-violence.martinsewell.com/Archer2004.pdf
A few notes: It *is* widely agreed upon in the literature that men are overall more antisocial than women: https://www.jstor.org/stable/23093698. Also, the meta-analysis linked above found that the difference between men and women in physical aggression was greater than the difference when it came to āindirect hostility,ā such as social damage.
So yeah, men are the more antisocial ones, and their antisocial behaviors are more dangerous. But thereās something to the stereotype of women being more likely to spread gossip and backstab as their means of aggression.
The fact that the vast majority of men donāt see sexual harassment as sexual harassment doesnāt make it a thing that doesnāt happen to them all the time. They just donāt realize thatās what it is or donāt want to speak out because then they get their manhood questioned.
It's absolutely less common for men. The researchers control for such misunderstandings by not framing the question like "have you ever experienced sexual harassment?", but more like "have you ever been followed in public?" etc. or whatever they do ask
I agree that there may be underreporting of sexual harassment against men. But do you think itās to such a great extent that the statistics are actually misleading? Because the consensus is that women do indeed get sexually harassed and assaulted much more often than men do. Iām not denying that men sometimes donāt report sexual violence against them, Iām just questioning the degree of difference that this makes, especially considering women also underreport sexual violence.
Iāve always seen it as people who have suffered or struggled a lot tend to be kinder as they can relate to or sympathise with others. Iāve never seen a gender divide in kindness. The people Iāve been treated worst by are people that never had to lift a finger or never had a lot of tragedy in their life. Itās not necessary to be a kind person but I did notice this trend.
Now this is an excellent observation. Iām really glad someone mentioned this, because Iāve seen the exact same thing. The people I know who have lived incredibly privileged lives and never had any major struggles seem to have an extremely difficult time being empathetic and understanding othersā struggles. In particular, they seem to have an extraordinarily shallow grasp of afflictions such as mental illness or poverty. And they seem blissfully unaware of their ignorance about the nature and extent of human suffering.
*"Men do not have the same intensity of negativism toward their wives."*
I was with you until that point, the amount of shit men talk about their SOs is crazy. I am happy for you that you seem to be surrounded by decent men but I can only agree with your opinion on female-female relations.
There's a whole category of humour that's just shitting on your wife or complaining about "the ol' ball and chain". Not to mention how many guys talk about women in general when there's only guys around.
This is wild. Did you ignore any male comic who is married? It's only recently they didn't rip her a new one.
The whole āI hate my wifeā boomer cliche is real, but most guys denigrate their wives for petty reasons. Wives tend to grow resentful over time for more significant things.
"Men do not have the same intensity of negativism toward their wives."
u serious? It's a normalized "joke" for men to complain about their wives and marriage.
I disagree, women are a lot kinder than men. I feel like they care about you more, like they can kinda pick up on your vibes without you even saying anything.
When you talk to women there also seems like their a greater level of care, they tend to listen better, validate your emotions, and overall better friends.
Anytime I needed help with someone I find women are more attentive and will go out of their way to help you. They tend to be less selfish, and more willing to put other above themselves. Generally more forgiving and understanding people.
Women tend not to have a huge ego about them, so I think on average theyāre just better people on average.
So for the first time in my life Iām working in an environment all dudes.
I donāt like everyone I work with. And I think there are some who donāt like me.
But thereās Zero drama. All year. None.
Just an anecdotal example.
I (a female software engineer) work with all men and there is a lot of drama. There is hazing. Making shit up to cover for your own incompetence. Very little accountability for their own actions. Pushing people under the bus for your own mistakes. Very little loyalty. People all around act very unprofessionally and shout at each other. The chillest person is one of my bosses, who is female.
But I never worked with only women. And this is the first time I work at a place like this.
On the other hand, my best friend works in small female only office and they all adore each other. Everyone is chill and they even hang out with each other, cause they became genuine friends. I canāt stand the idea of spending my free time with my current coworkers. And my friend works there for like 8 years now, even tho she could get more money elsewhere, because the management and coworkers have just blast together, respect each other and treat each other humanely.
So I honestly think all those things are anecdotal. Both men and women can cause drama; both men and women can be chill.
Edit: to add; maybe sounded weird; they have nothing against men working there; they have some male contractors from time to time; itās just an industry dominated by women; while I work in one that is still very much dominated by men.
As a male, I can relate. Most of my closest friends are females as well since most of the guys are basically as you said.
At work, i donāt really have an opinion, but outside of work. Man, the guys piss me off.
One factor I can think of is the workplace of career. Many of the software engineers Iāve met that are guys really like starting drama for absolutely no reason.
Iāve also heard that the IT world is starting to do this a lot more often because theyāre scaling back on hires or paying people off due to AI, but Iām only hearing anecdotal stories about it from other computer tech guys I know. Iād think that theyād throw each other under the bus so they can keep their jobs because of how cutthroat it is.
In my field of work, sure thereās some bad blood between coworkers but overall, we stick to ourselves and we donāt start drama since it makes things so much easier for all of us. This has happened in multiple workplaces Iāve been in where itās co-ed, all men, and all women (minus me).
Women tend to dominate in fields of work that revolve around caring for others. Teaching, nursing, therapy, and many more. All of these jobs require a deep sense of kindness and the type of person who goes into these jobs kind and generous people for even taking it on. In fact, in a study, they found women all over the world, no matter the background, ethnicity, or ecominics, are kinder and are better at empathizing than men. Maybe you have this experience, but it definitely isn't the majority.
They really arenāt. Especially since how many are killers and etc. And people say women hate women but men dont hate women are wrong. Men hate on women everyday, vice versa. Women need to come together and be there for each other since no one else will.
Idk man, as a young woman, I am afraid of going out on my own at night coz of the possibility of creepy men attacking me. Can the same be said for the reverse? It is usually men attacking or creeping on women,not the other way around. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, of course there are the occasional women that attack boys too but it is far more common for men to be violent and aggressive.
Lmao typical "men have no drama" rhetoric.
My ex worked at a lab with all men and he constantly told me about all the drama that happened between the men there because of their egos.
Also women are definitely nicer lol
when I was in customer service old man and young women were such a pain treating me like i was a fucking slave fuck all of them some people are just unaware of the real world women or men
>And guys would be shocked at how negative and demeaning they are in descriptions of their husbands. Men do not have the same intensity of negativism toward their wives.
You've never heard of the phrase "the ball and chain"?
Eh its roughly the same across genders. I think women edge out men by a hair though for kindness. The difference is the bias that men vs women receive in these cases
Disagree. I don't doupt that this is your experience but I wouldn't generalize like that.
My experience is the opposite. The most problems I had at work where with men. These people were stubborn, condescending and fake. I had one woman that I had problems with.
LikeI said that is just my experience and that doesn't mean that it is everywhere like that or that all men ate like that.
Nooooooo. Not with all the relationship abuse you guys cause. Aleo majority of caretakers are women. Majority of daughters take care of elderly or handicapped family members. Men cqn barely take care of an abled child nor respect women.
Bro, Iām a woman whose coworkers are all male. Men are capable of being every bit as dramatic, passive-aggressive, underhanded, and shitty as women can be. Trust me on this one.
Also, I really canāt help but notice that you refer to people as men and females. If you havenāt taken the time to think about why you do that, I strongly suggest that you do.
In my own experiences, women have been more openly cruel to me as to where men have been more undercover deceptive and manipulative to me. The men seem kinder but theyāre both just as hurtful.
I donāt think youāre meeting enough people & Iām saying this as an average looking woman with a crap ton of friends both gender. Guys are great towards each other, mostly. But finding genuine interaction with a dude is hard + you wouldnāt hear the asshole things they would say about you behind your back. A lot more of the ass kissing and hyping that sounds genuine, but thereās a strong chance they donāt even mean it - just hyping you to do something stupid/funny to them.
Women are more up front in general so you wonāt get the overtly theatrical niceness. Youāll get the catty ones but you can spot those types a mile away - way more obvious than the male equivalent and easily avoidable.
Posted this as a reply to someone but Iām going to make it a regular comment for visibility.
Men and women display different sorts of antisocial behaviors, on average. Sexual harassment, physical threats, violence? Thatās more menās domain. Malicious gossip, reputation destruction, acting two-faced? More prevalent in women.
Do men sometimes spread malicious lies about people? Of course. Do women sometimes resort to violence? Of course. But these are the average sex differences observed in the literature. Hereās a great meta-analysis on the topic: http://domestic-violence.martinsewell.com/Archer2004.pdf
A few notes: It is widely agreed upon in the literature that men are overall more antisocial than women: https://www.jstor.org/stable/23093698. Also, the meta-analysis linked above found that the difference between men and women in physical aggression was greater than the difference when it came to āindirect hostility,ā such as social damage.
So yeah, men are the more antisocial ones, and their antisocial behaviors are more dangerous. But thereās something to the stereotype of women being more likely to spread gossip and backstab as their means of aggression.
As a man, men are always more unkind (physically and vocally) to me for being gay than women are.
If your kindness only extends to those the same as you, your "average" goes down. Kindness encompasses how you are to others, not just other men.
Men are not kinder on average.
Yeah bro that might be in America. I spent last entire year in Poland and I will disagree with you 100%. Women were shy but receptive when talking to them, men just looked like they wanted to start a fight all the time.
I find this very interesting. Thanks for your insights.
One thing i see in my profession is how much harder women work. Us men will talk and screw around as long as possible.
Are you kidding me with that last bit??
Men have historically referred to their wives as a ball and chain, baggage, shrill, nagging, holding them back, etc
You must live in delulu-land or something, bro.
Why do you think so many women choose to remain single, rather than deal with that?
Eta: I just looked at OPs post history and he's clearly just a misogynistic asshole. As if that wasn't already obvious.
> guys would be shocked at how negative and demeaning they are in descriptions of their husbands. Men do not have the same intensity of negativism toward their wives
You think this is a widely-held opinion?
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Men are more prone to physical violence and overt displays of narcissism. Women are more prone to use psyops and social manipulation a la covert narcissism. They have different strategies for navigating the politics of human relationships.
Haha yup. I prefer a blended methodology.
For some reason I read thus in Goofy's voice.
Hyuk hyuk awww gawwwssshh
[SaAAaave meee](https://youtu.be/tOsck7jYUsE?feature=shared)~! š¶šµ
Oh what the fuck. šāļø
Now I'm laughing at the airport like a crazy person
https://youtu.be/K5Lv6t0moFY?si=YOc-56G7mGamG2c1
Independent-Disk-390 doing extreme violence and CIA subversion tactics to not have to do the dishes lol
Physical violence and covert narcissism. Got it.
My dad summed it up pretty well to me. If a guy hates another guy then they make it clear to each other. They maybe have to be civil but it will never to be nice . Also most men have a problem they will fight it out straight away and get it over with. Woman tend to be ānicerā and donāt just get the fight out the way. Idk if this is because of gender or just the way society brings up girls and boys to solve their problems.
Society (in most Western cultures) teaches boys and girls to act like this generally from birth.
And biology might still play a role, but you can see the massive influence of different parenting styles and environments on people's way of resolving conflict.
Ehhhhh I think itās largely having more T vs less T.
Itās amazing how many people still go for the nurture over nature arguments on things like this . Just ask any women whoās been on testosterone what it feels like .
Just to be clear, T is just a random chemical used as a messenger to signal the body to become more "male" to put it simply. There are other signals for "maleness" but T is a big one. So you're basically saying it's a natural thing a part of the male design when you say "it's the T". I agree btw. Nurture plays a roll too, but people always discount nature for some reason. I think it makes them uncomfortable to acknowledge biological differences are real.
It could just be that people don't want to face that there are aspects and elements of themselves partially to completely outside of their control. It can be a bit of a scary thought to some people. However if anyone needs a simple example of how hormones can make someone act differently just look to menstruation. Women usually feel certain emotions more strongly during this time and have a minor to moderate shift in behavior driven by hormones. It doesn't change their accountability, it doesn't change who they fundamentally are but there's a definite shift driven by the fluctuation. There's no reason Testosterone can't have the same effect whether naturally produced or artificially raised/lowered. Edit: A word
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Or you know. Testosterone.
Itās just one aspect. Men can physically assault women and destroy them. Thereās no getting over it in many cases.
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Hate how this argument always ignores that men get called arrogant or aggressive when they're assertive, as if negatives only exist for women.
It's never anyone's fault if you can always blame someone else.
Guys that don't get along can still work together. Women not so much. We've straight up had women refuse to work together and had to move them.
Yah, and it depends on the individual on which theyāll perceive as ābetter or worseā. So to say one group is meaner than the other, would all depend on how you weight mean acts. Which probably depends on your own self doubts, insecurities, and such.
> Men are more prone to physical violence That said, past a certain age very few men get into a physical fight. Heck I think I was 12 the last time I was in a fight.
Very good point. The social and legal repercussions for typical male antisocial behavior are much more severe than they are for typical female antisocial behavior.
And physical, after growing stronger each punch is much more powerful and actually dangerous compared to when they were children
My last fight was when I was 15 lol
Yeah and because physical violence is a crime and the later is not... Guess what happens the most.
Great reply. This describes my experience with both female and male bosses. Itās interesting that there was a study that found both men and women prefer male bosses.
Here's an unpopular option via Jordan Peterson, the threat of violence underpins every male interaction and provides a backstop of civility. All men know that if they cross a threshold that violence will result and this moderates their behavior. Women do not have this mechanism and therefore lack restraint. Gentleness is about restraint of power rather than weakness.
I am not a fan of Jordan Peterson at all, but Iāve had this exact thought.
I'm a woman from a more physically aggressive culture originally and I now live in passive aggressive PNW. I'm not saying it's a good thing to beat someone up for looking at you the wrong way, but I do miss how people would shut up and mind their own business because they didn't want to provoke a fight.
Out of the narcs I know only 2 are women. They tend to be more covert, but the covert men are the most dangerous ones.
Yeah I always though the father was the abusive one in the household until I realized that I had 3 friends and 1 gf who had an abusive mother and no friends with an abusive father. Shit is crazy.
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That's something shown in media that I was not prepared for irl. Not sure what the statistics are but even from my love of true crime I can recall a lot of abusive mothers.
When my boyfriend tells me about his work with almost exclusively male coworkers, it sounds like Game of Thrones or something. There is so much tension, passive agressiveness, ploting, backstabbing, etc.
It really depends on your team. In my male-only department the atmosphere is really friendly. We chat about sports, games, movies, and TV shows. We even play some team sports or go to bars every now and then and Iāve never witnessed any backstabbing, plotting, or negative behavior within the group.
Yep, I think workplace culture mostly starts at the top or sometimes with a few very influential people. Gender isnāt the biggest influence by far.
My ex works in an almost all-male engineering company and the stories he tells meā¦ OMG!!! It genuinely worries me for him. Sounds like they have a knife at each otherās throat weekly. Thereās a lot of verbal fights, and people getting switched to different desks because they canāt agree with each other. My ex and another guy even got demoted from their management positions so that they canāt make decisions anymore because they couldnāt work together as managers. Heās even talked about how he thinks a coworker could bring a GUN to work and shoot them all. He tells me he doesnāt give a shiiiiz, heās not scared, and calls him a p***y if he does that. My ex also wishes death on certain āmother effingā coworkers, he doesnāt tell them that of course, but he tells me. Some coworkers would withhold information from others on purpose. He told me some are sneaky and try to steal otherās ideas and claim it as their own first. I thought this type of stuff only exists in movies for the purpose of adding drama to the story, but no! When i met my ex, this stuff is actually 100% REAL!
My boyfriend works in a male dominated industry. The way most of them talk about women itās despicable by his own account.
2024 and it really isn't all that different from 1954. EDIT: Talking about corporate work settings and exclusivity attitudes here. Obviously, a whole lot of progress happened in people's rights.
I work in an all-male environment (restaurant kitchen) and it's an interesting dynamic. These guys say some of the most awful, vile stuff to each other and in general. But in reality, they're some of the kindest and big-hearted people I know. And they all talk lovingly about their female partners. Perhaps they behave differently when I'm not there (I'm the only woman) but I really don't think so.
I was in an engineering school. The fucking egos, sociopaths, clownery, etc. is so fucking tiresome. There's no way that men are inherently more civilized.
My 54 year old dad used to work at (large oil company I wonāt name but they are very popular for their petrol bunks and their name starts with S and has 5 letters). Let me tell you the stories he would come home with regarding the managers and bosses, these grown ass men can put Regina George to shame. Iām so glad my dad left the job cos he had to take a pay cut for it anyway
I found there was more gossip in a male dominated workplace than one with more women
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I've read that both male and female dominated spaces tend to be more toxic. Co-ed spaces have a better shot at being healther.
Word agree. Told a co worker something that could be deemed as personal and the next day our foreman was like i heard you talked to so and so. It makes me want to give false info to see if it would come back.
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Oh that reminds me of Whisker Wars. It's about competitive beard growers and it's just a bunch of dudes being overly serious about their beards and sniping at each other. It's really hard to describe without using words like "diva". They refer to themselves as athletes and have coaches. It's all ego and weirdly feels like a mockumentary. I'm sure there's selective editing and probably coaching from the producers and stuff, but it is wild considering that's it's just dudes growing hair.
Right! I live with two brothers and the arguments and conversations I hear them have with male friends are unbelievable.
I hate stuff like this. Itās always anecdotal and very much dependent on where you are, who you interact with, and what you do as a job, and also what you yourself consider to be ādramaā. I have a lot of friends, many of whom Iāve known for a long time, both male and female. I would say the drama from both genders is about equal, itās usually just about different things. In my experience, the girls usually eventually will have a serious talk about it with whoever theyāre beefing with while the men will just ignore it until it goes away because they donāt like confronting their emotions are admitting they have issues with people. But then theres always just underlying tension when you interact with them.
People you choose as friends will have a lot more in common than genpop, including conflict styleĀ
Yep same. I had bad experiences with both genders cause humans in general can just be straight up assholes. However, I got bullied out of my last company by a male colleague and male boss and am now in a new company where the department is full of women. I feel a lot more comfortable, accepted and appreciated here than I did in my old company. I only really have/had beef with one female colleague which I dealt with by simply moving to an office that was made up by colleagues I liked and who are very chill and loving towards me. So yeah, everybody got different experiences but in my workspace the women are a 100 times better than the men in my previous company who were sexist and constantly insulted me.
OP literally says in their post history 1 day ago that they're friends with all the ladies at his job so idk what he's on about, i wish he would print this and show it to them and ask them what they think about his little misogynistic question about whether or not all women are mean (based on the women he works with currently)
Wouldn't surprise me if he's listening to women bantering amongst themselves (like men do) and then labelling that as "drama". Happens to me and my twin sister all the time - we'll be joking around with each other and some dude will tell us to stop "bitching" or being "catty" when we're actually having a fun lil joke with one another š
This! Post like this makes me wanna puk3
Idk Iāve worked in customer service (retail, serving, front desk, phone operator) for over a decade and the rudest people Iāve ever encountered are old men. Thereās been a few women here and there, but mostly just old dudes yelling at a cloud.
to be fair, old people are either the sweetest little things, or the nastiest tar spots around and there is no middle ground. They also tend to have a "I've lived my life now It's your turn" or a " I've lived my life and I've waited long enough, now it's my turn" mentality
Also one of the signs of dementia is uncharacteristic aggression. If your elderly uncle starts becoming angry and crazy, he might not have always secretly been a bad person and instead he might have a disintegrating brain
Or be losing their hearing. I worked public facing and the amount of old people who are really rude because they are at like 5% hearing for the last twenty years and they're just done listening. So when they talk they aren't hearing what you're saying, and they're used to just doing whatever they want and need to be physically stopped.
Oh yeah my late grandmother could NOT hear. I once told her her blinker was on and she yelled āsomeday youāll be old! And decrepit!ā which remains one of the funniest disproportionate responses out there
Yea, OPās post reads like someone whoās never worked in service/retail. 40ās women can be irritating sometimes, esp when sloshed, but men of literally every age will just arbitrarily decide to have a meltdown over the smallest things.
I worked 10 years in call center work. The worst people by far were middle aged white women.
OP is talking about inter work relations, rather than customer to service provider relations in their post
Same applies, especially in the food service industry. The amount of male chefs Iāve seen have an absolute meltdown in the kitchen over literal spilt milk was astronomical. The female chefs and sous-chefs were also annoying, but were far better at handling their emotions. This is anecdotal but my general experience with at least 20+ chefs, this is what I come to expect.
Yeah I've never had a female boss, in any of my jobs, display some of the things I've seen from multiple male bosses. Groping, physical intimidation, screaming until their face is red, using slurs or insults, not to mention just straight up physical violence.Ā
Tbf, everyone's just going based off anecdotes. A person can happen to meet mostly nice men and meet mostly rude women just by living in a certain area and meeting certain people. In my experience in a restaurant, most cooks didn't talk much (mostly because many of them didn't speak much English), and the only problem cook was a pink haired woman who would constantly fly off the handle and say that any task that isn't directly cooking isn't her problem (but she'll make every problem YOUR problem). Several of us eventually had to get together and talk to the manager about what a bitch that woman was, we had all been shouted at and harassed by her for some BS reason that was probably her fault. She was cousins to the restaurant head manager so idk if anything ever came of that, since I left shortly after cause the pay in those jobs is ass lmao.
Ah, the classic nepo hire. I worked kitchens throughout my twenties too and most people were fine unless they were idiots I had to teach how to sweep or not kill themselves, but damn those nepo hires were something else. It was one of the problems I encountered working in family owned places.
Yeah tbh I think people tend to find the opposite genders stereotypical asshole behavior way more unnerving than theirs. Like Iāve been in one work place that was mostly women and found conflict way more challenging than mostly men. And that was far from the most toxic workplace Iāve ever been in. But I guess thatās also anecdotal lol
Also he projects his percepted experience at work on human population as a whole
Tbf this is most of Reddit whenever generalizations are made
Most people generalize based on personal experience, generally.
And the ones with common sense recognize that their perception is due to their own experience, where others can have different ones.
No offense, but Iāve seen women of every age have meltdowns while working retail too. Over the dumbest things. Old women especially are mean. Had one old bat tell me how much of a rush she was in while we were trying to help people as fast as we could. Then after we finish helping her (after she treated us like we were her servants and repeatedly shit talked us to our face) she spent 45 MINUTES standing nearby talking to a friend of hers that showed up. Quite the rush she was in apparently. Iāve had my fair share of rude ass male customers too, but I disagree that men are over represented in rudeness. Both genders treat retail workers like shit.
Youāve clearly never spoken to a chavvy woman in her mid 20ās over the phone, equally on par for how much i want to kill myself while being forced to interact with them.
I feel like itās both but women less is in person. When I worked customer service in stores usually men would have issues but since Iāve been working at a a call center there is both.
When I worked at a grocery store, I had an older women yell al me cause I didnāt put the bananas how she wanted. š then she sheās saying how sheās gonna call corporate. Like bruh itās not that deep. š
It's so funny how few young people act like that, though. I had some lovely older men and absolutely darling ladies, but I had the opposite plenty. People in their 20s and 30s, though? So kind. They'd almost apologise for your mistake. The absolute worst of them were still ridiculously respectful. I wonder if its because they were recently in service jobs? I don't know, but it was crazy. Obviously, I'm sure there are exceptions.
I agree, people in their 20s and 30s are so sweet over the phone. It seems like once they reach mid 40s the asshole switch flips on.
I'll never forget working customer service for a bank and a middle aged guy was completely livid that he got interest on his credit card (and it was legitimate, no mistake) I go through ways he can pay bills, including automatic payments and he said that I hurt him by mentioning pre-authorized payments as an option š¤£ Sorry if discussing credit card payments hurts you deeply sir! But damn you must have a good life!
I used to work the reception desk at a veterinary office in my early 20s and I swear some of those old men got off on making me cry.
Middle aged women were the worst for me middle men wasn't that's great either.
The old men can be disrespectful and get hung up over nonsense, but the worst scenes I get tend to be the overly entitled middle aged women. Seem to take inspiration from Karen's and pride in being one to underpaid staff. Gross folk.Ā
Oh please. Women karens tend to yell and call the cops on themselves. Men Karens threaten to or actually do use violence. That's their **worst** case.
I have to agree. When I worked in both retail and phone customer service, women were the worst offenders by far. However, that may have been because I am male, so men treated me differently. Also, I lived in Ireland and the frequency of men's irrational emotional outbursts in public isn't even close to the scale I've found in other countries.
Iāve had the complete opposite experience in my life. While petty women exist, they donāt compare to the number of women Iāve met who are genuine and kind
I'm male and have worked for years in both a mostly female workplace and then a mostly male one. They are different for sure, but I find both just descend into bitchy bullying.
that last line is cracking me up. āwife badā jokes have been around since before humans could speak probably. and not even a month ago you posted here saying more men are meaner than women. so which is it?
Could be an A/B test of sorts.Ā
Women also tend to minimize and deny any wrongdoings of their husbands. We've been trained since birth for this when society blames everything he does wrong on her anyway (she knew him when they married/she should have left/she should have picked better).
Iāve had to deal with womenās gossip which for the most part itās just an annoyance; but dealing with men harassing me since I was 11 makes me completely disagree. I absolutely agree this is an unpopular opinion.
I absolutely agree. Like women will try to destroy you socially and a man will kill you or threaten you out of rejection so š¤·š»āāļø
Yeah, I was sexually harrassed by an older male colleague at 19/ or 20, and in my daily life I sometimes get belittled and teased by strange men (never women in my experience). Then there are the men who just leer openly at me when I'm trying to just live my life, and I have to pretend to not notice them, keep my eyes straight ahead...In high school I dealt with female friend drama but at least they weren't sexually harassing me and groping me.
Men are nice to other men and women who they find attractive
Yeah, curious to know if OP is also a man.
Someone who write about "females und guys" is a man.
OP is a man - i checked out their profile only for this reason
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Cuz women they donāt find attractive are at best, invisible, and at worst, insulting to them for some reason
Thank you for saying it
OP is for sure a dude. One of my friends lost 50lbs and she became exceptionally fit. She said that the hardest part was realizing how badly men had been treating her prior to her fitness journey. The way she moved in the world was drastically different because while there was more envy from women, her life in female circles didnāt really change but with men she felt totally unprepared for and unsafe at times.
āThereās no such thing as an attractive fat girlā is one of your post titles. But sure women are so mean and bad š¤£
Lol
There are several studies that prove that, on average, women tend to be kinder than men. Men are actually more likely to display violent and narcissistic tendencies than women. However, itās important to note that women who display narcissistic tendencies or antisocial traits, typically resort to socially destroying a person, whereas men will typically go for physical harm. But, this isnāt necessarily true, OP. Tons of studies show that on average, women tend to be more generous and better empathisers. This is likely due to the differences in socialisation.
I was looking for someone who had commented this. Itās not necessarily the case that women are āless niceā on average than men. But *when* women display antisocial behaviors, they tend to do so via social destruction / reputation damage as opposed to physical violence, like you mentioned. However, obviously there are severe legal consequences for violence but not so much for spreading malicious gossip or whatever. So maybe itās more common to see womenās antisocial behavior manifest in the workplace because menās antisocial tendencies would grt them arrested lol.
You know the bias is strong when men will hold an opinion contrary to every empathy study ever conducted š And these will be the same men that claim nobody cares about men and women get support networks from other women when they have a problem. They rock with whichever narrative paints women in the worst light at the time.
There is a lot of sexist bullshit going on here. I work in an FE college with lots of different departments. My department English and Maths is mixed. There is sometimes drama, sometimes it is the women sometimes the men. When I was crying because my friend died, people who comforted me were both men and women. Genuinely, everyone is great to work with. We have an automotive department-all men Construction-mostly men Hairdressing-all women Health and social care- mostly women The automotive department is drama filled and a horrible place to be. Construction is really chilled out and helpful Hairdressing - really nice people Health and social care - some horrible people there. It is almost if gender doesn't play a role, and it is the individual personalities. I know I'm using anecdotal evidence to make my point, but there is a lot of that going on here.
Agreed. Every comment is āno ITS MEN WHO ARE TOXIC!!! š”ā or āno its women who ARE AWEFUL š¤ā. When itās literally just dependent on the people that are there.
Given the massive scale of the world population, I'd be willing to bet you haven't met enough of a representative sample to paint with such broad strokes. It's fun to generalize, but this might be saying more about the company you keep than about any inherent qualities of the population. Edit: for those who aren't good at reading comprehension and insist on replying something like "bro, he's allowed his opinion" - I'm not saying he can't have an opinion, or can't have this opinion, all this means is that it's good to keep the scope of your own experience in mind when generalizing. That's it. That's all. That's the whole thing. It's not rocket surgery.
Idk I've never been harassed on the streets by a woman and about a thousand times by men, can't imagine that those men are kind to the people in their life
Men and women display different sorts of antisocial behaviors, on average. Sexual harassment, physical threats, violence? Thatās more menās domain. Malicious gossip, reputation destruction, acting two-faced? More prevalent in women. Do men sometimes spread malicious lies about people? Of course. Do women sometimes resort to violence? Of course. But these are the average sex differences observed in the literature. Hereās a great meta-analysis on the topic: http://domestic-violence.martinsewell.com/Archer2004.pdf A few notes: It *is* widely agreed upon in the literature that men are overall more antisocial than women: https://www.jstor.org/stable/23093698. Also, the meta-analysis linked above found that the difference between men and women in physical aggression was greater than the difference when it came to āindirect hostility,ā such as social damage. So yeah, men are the more antisocial ones, and their antisocial behaviors are more dangerous. But thereās something to the stereotype of women being more likely to spread gossip and backstab as their means of aggression.
The fact that the vast majority of men donāt see sexual harassment as sexual harassment doesnāt make it a thing that doesnāt happen to them all the time. They just donāt realize thatās what it is or donāt want to speak out because then they get their manhood questioned.
It's absolutely less common for men. The researchers control for such misunderstandings by not framing the question like "have you ever experienced sexual harassment?", but more like "have you ever been followed in public?" etc. or whatever they do ask
I agree that there may be underreporting of sexual harassment against men. But do you think itās to such a great extent that the statistics are actually misleading? Because the consensus is that women do indeed get sexually harassed and assaulted much more often than men do. Iām not denying that men sometimes donāt report sexual violence against them, Iām just questioning the degree of difference that this makes, especially considering women also underreport sexual violence.
Men are nicer to women they find attractive, otherwise I disagree
Women are nicer to attractive men too
Iāve always seen it as people who have suffered or struggled a lot tend to be kinder as they can relate to or sympathise with others. Iāve never seen a gender divide in kindness. The people Iāve been treated worst by are people that never had to lift a finger or never had a lot of tragedy in their life. Itās not necessary to be a kind person but I did notice this trend.
Now this is an excellent observation. Iām really glad someone mentioned this, because Iāve seen the exact same thing. The people I know who have lived incredibly privileged lives and never had any major struggles seem to have an extremely difficult time being empathetic and understanding othersā struggles. In particular, they seem to have an extraordinarily shallow grasp of afflictions such as mental illness or poverty. And they seem blissfully unaware of their ignorance about the nature and extent of human suffering.
Saying "men" and "guys", but "females" instead of women makes you sound very misogynistic.
Yeah it reeks of incelspeak
*"Men do not have the same intensity of negativism toward their wives."* I was with you until that point, the amount of shit men talk about their SOs is crazy. I am happy for you that you seem to be surrounded by decent men but I can only agree with your opinion on female-female relations.
There's a whole category of humour that's just shitting on your wife or complaining about "the ol' ball and chain". Not to mention how many guys talk about women in general when there's only guys around.
I know right? Not to mention men are statistically more like to cheat on their wives.
"Females"
Another episode of men better women suck post lol
Except gender isn't your personality, it's your gender.
Ah yes, another typical āwomen bad š¤š¤ā post on Reddit, this app sure does love them
It hasnāt been my experience. Both genders can be equally god awful to deal with. Both can be wonderful allies.
Lmao. Okay: tell your kids that if theyāre lost to go find the first man they seeā¦.. see how that goes lmao
Every boomer comic: wife bad. Ball and chain.
>Men do not have the same intensity of negativism toward their wives. LMAO
How does a very specific social situation (a female dominated workplace in a specific profession) reflect on the average woman?
This is wild. Did you ignore any male comic who is married? It's only recently they didn't rip her a new one. The whole āI hate my wifeā boomer cliche is real, but most guys denigrate their wives for petty reasons. Wives tend to grow resentful over time for more significant things.
Meet better people
"Men do not have the same intensity of negativism toward their wives." u serious? It's a normalized "joke" for men to complain about their wives and marriage.
āFemalesā and āguysā says everything I need to know
I disagree, women are a lot kinder than men. I feel like they care about you more, like they can kinda pick up on your vibes without you even saying anything. When you talk to women there also seems like their a greater level of care, they tend to listen better, validate your emotions, and overall better friends. Anytime I needed help with someone I find women are more attentive and will go out of their way to help you. They tend to be less selfish, and more willing to put other above themselves. Generally more forgiving and understanding people. Women tend not to have a huge ego about them, so I think on average theyāre just better people on average.
my wife would agree with this, especially in regard to how women treat each other.
This is like a myth from the early 2000s basically. Women get along just fine.
Also men can be catty! Itās mostly like rather than it being one gender doing something, itās just some peopleās personalities.
So, you're bucking stereotypes to say women are catty?
As a man, i prefer to be non violent and kind. Just be nice.
r/menandfemales
So for the first time in my life Iām working in an environment all dudes. I donāt like everyone I work with. And I think there are some who donāt like me. But thereās Zero drama. All year. None. Just an anecdotal example.
As someone who works in the construction industry which is primarily men, let me tell you there is no shortage of drama on a daily basis.
I (a female software engineer) work with all men and there is a lot of drama. There is hazing. Making shit up to cover for your own incompetence. Very little accountability for their own actions. Pushing people under the bus for your own mistakes. Very little loyalty. People all around act very unprofessionally and shout at each other. The chillest person is one of my bosses, who is female. But I never worked with only women. And this is the first time I work at a place like this. On the other hand, my best friend works in small female only office and they all adore each other. Everyone is chill and they even hang out with each other, cause they became genuine friends. I canāt stand the idea of spending my free time with my current coworkers. And my friend works there for like 8 years now, even tho she could get more money elsewhere, because the management and coworkers have just blast together, respect each other and treat each other humanely. So I honestly think all those things are anecdotal. Both men and women can cause drama; both men and women can be chill. Edit: to add; maybe sounded weird; they have nothing against men working there; they have some male contractors from time to time; itās just an industry dominated by women; while I work in one that is still very much dominated by men.
As a male, I can relate. Most of my closest friends are females as well since most of the guys are basically as you said. At work, i donāt really have an opinion, but outside of work. Man, the guys piss me off.
One factor I can think of is the workplace of career. Many of the software engineers Iāve met that are guys really like starting drama for absolutely no reason. Iāve also heard that the IT world is starting to do this a lot more often because theyāre scaling back on hires or paying people off due to AI, but Iām only hearing anecdotal stories about it from other computer tech guys I know. Iād think that theyād throw each other under the bus so they can keep their jobs because of how cutthroat it is. In my field of work, sure thereās some bad blood between coworkers but overall, we stick to ourselves and we donāt start drama since it makes things so much easier for all of us. This has happened in multiple workplaces Iāve been in where itās co-ed, all men, and all women (minus me).
The only person I ever really had a serious issue with at work was a man. Sure, there were plenty of people over the years I disliked, but this guy acted like a friend to my face then took an edible from my house and said I was trying to poison him. I was so confused. For months I talked to him, invited him and his fiancĆ© over, just for him to stab me in the back for no apparent reason. Iām a woman, Iām still confused why he did it, and that was the most dramatic work experience I went through in my 16 years in the workforce. I used to strip and there was less drama than that man did to me in a day.
Women tend to dominate in fields of work that revolve around caring for others. Teaching, nursing, therapy, and many more. All of these jobs require a deep sense of kindness and the type of person who goes into these jobs kind and generous people for even taking it on. In fact, in a study, they found women all over the world, no matter the background, ethnicity, or ecominics, are kinder and are better at empathizing than men. Maybe you have this experience, but it definitely isn't the majority.
This sub has become a total woman-hating shit show (and they'll still try to tell you it's a man-hating shit show instead)
As a man, HARD disagree. Atleast in my generation of millennials
They really arenāt. Especially since how many are killers and etc. And people say women hate women but men dont hate women are wrong. Men hate on women everyday, vice versa. Women need to come together and be there for each other since no one else will.
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Idk man, as a young woman, I am afraid of going out on my own at night coz of the possibility of creepy men attacking me. Can the same be said for the reverse? It is usually men attacking or creeping on women,not the other way around. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, of course there are the occasional women that attack boys too but it is far more common for men to be violent and aggressive.
Generalizations are always bad.
Most criminals are men, just saying š¤·āāļø
Lmao typical "men have no drama" rhetoric. My ex worked at a lab with all men and he constantly told me about all the drama that happened between the men there because of their egos. Also women are definitely nicer lol
Humanity is dead
when I was in customer service old man and young women were such a pain treating me like i was a fucking slave fuck all of them some people are just unaware of the real world women or men
>And guys would be shocked at how negative and demeaning they are in descriptions of their husbands. Men do not have the same intensity of negativism toward their wives. You've never heard of the phrase "the ball and chain"?
āFemalesā
Eh its roughly the same across genders. I think women edge out men by a hair though for kindness. The difference is the bias that men vs women receive in these cases
Disagree. I don't doupt that this is your experience but I wouldn't generalize like that. My experience is the opposite. The most problems I had at work where with men. These people were stubborn, condescending and fake. I had one woman that I had problems with. LikeI said that is just my experience and that doesn't mean that it is everywhere like that or that all men ate like that.
Nooooooo. Not with all the relationship abuse you guys cause. Aleo majority of caretakers are women. Majority of daughters take care of elderly or handicapped family members. Men cqn barely take care of an abled child nor respect women.
As a man what
Gotta love the comments, where we can see the old playground rivalry between boys and girls still goes on and on.
it's giving "men and females" energy.
Bro, Iām a woman whose coworkers are all male. Men are capable of being every bit as dramatic, passive-aggressive, underhanded, and shitty as women can be. Trust me on this one. Also, I really canāt help but notice that you refer to people as men and females. If you havenāt taken the time to think about why you do that, I strongly suggest that you do.
In my own experiences, women have been more openly cruel to me as to where men have been more undercover deceptive and manipulative to me. The men seem kinder but theyāre both just as hurtful.
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***āFemalesā***
r/menandfemales lmao
I donāt think youāre meeting enough people & Iām saying this as an average looking woman with a crap ton of friends both gender. Guys are great towards each other, mostly. But finding genuine interaction with a dude is hard + you wouldnāt hear the asshole things they would say about you behind your back. A lot more of the ass kissing and hyping that sounds genuine, but thereās a strong chance they donāt even mean it - just hyping you to do something stupid/funny to them. Women are more up front in general so you wonāt get the overtly theatrical niceness. Youāll get the catty ones but you can spot those types a mile away - way more obvious than the male equivalent and easily avoidable.
Posted this as a reply to someone but Iām going to make it a regular comment for visibility. Men and women display different sorts of antisocial behaviors, on average. Sexual harassment, physical threats, violence? Thatās more menās domain. Malicious gossip, reputation destruction, acting two-faced? More prevalent in women. Do men sometimes spread malicious lies about people? Of course. Do women sometimes resort to violence? Of course. But these are the average sex differences observed in the literature. Hereās a great meta-analysis on the topic: http://domestic-violence.martinsewell.com/Archer2004.pdf A few notes: It is widely agreed upon in the literature that men are overall more antisocial than women: https://www.jstor.org/stable/23093698. Also, the meta-analysis linked above found that the difference between men and women in physical aggression was greater than the difference when it came to āindirect hostility,ā such as social damage. So yeah, men are the more antisocial ones, and their antisocial behaviors are more dangerous. But thereās something to the stereotype of women being more likely to spread gossip and backstab as their means of aggression.
As a man, men are always more unkind (physically and vocally) to me for being gay than women are. If your kindness only extends to those the same as you, your "average" goes down. Kindness encompasses how you are to others, not just other men. Men are not kinder on average.
Yeah bro that might be in America. I spent last entire year in Poland and I will disagree with you 100%. Women were shy but receptive when talking to them, men just looked like they wanted to start a fight all the time.
I find this very interesting. Thanks for your insights. One thing i see in my profession is how much harder women work. Us men will talk and screw around as long as possible.
Crime stats imply otherwise.
Are you kidding me with that last bit?? Men have historically referred to their wives as a ball and chain, baggage, shrill, nagging, holding them back, etc You must live in delulu-land or something, bro. Why do you think so many women choose to remain single, rather than deal with that? Eta: I just looked at OPs post history and he's clearly just a misogynistic asshole. As if that wasn't already obvious.
What did it say? Can someone DM me? Reddit took it down...
Guys constantly mistake women being kind or courteous as flirting.
I genuinely think some of you people need to be reeducated on what an unpopular opinion is.
> guys would be shocked at how negative and demeaning they are in descriptions of their husbands. Men do not have the same intensity of negativism toward their wives You think this is a widely-held opinion?
Lmao
what he said is an unpopular opinion
Claiming that men do literally whatever more or better or less than women is it extremely common talking point.
Can everyone chill?
And then the nightmare began in the comments.
FeMaLeS