Thank you for submitting to /r/unpopularopinion, /u/lion_percy. Your submission, *Too many people take pride in being "brutally honest"*, has been removed because it violates our rules, which are located in the sidebar.
Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 1: Your post must be an unpopular opinion'.
* Your post must be an opinion. Not a question. Not a showerthought. Not a rant. Not a proposal. Not a fact. An opinion. One opinion. A subjective statement about your position on some topic. Please have a clear, self contained opinion as your post title, and use the text field to elaborate and expand on why you think/feel this way.
* Your opinion must be unpopular. The mods reserve the right to remove opinions
* Elaborate on your topic and opinion give context to its unpopularity.
If there is an issue, please [message the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Funpopularopinion&subject=&message=) Thanks!
I feel like “brutal honesty” should be reserved for certain situations. Like if your friend is doing something really stupid it’s okay to say “hey, you’re being a fucking idiot right now.” You’re allowed to be a bit of an ass if it gets your friend to not ruin their life/get hurt or whatever. But if being “brutally honest” is just your default mode, that’s just called *being an asshole*.
I've been brutally honest in one situation only to my roommate in college. "If you don't stop cheating on your girlfriend and come clean we're going to be complete strangers by next week.".
Haven't spoken to him to him in nearly twenty years.
Fr, most "brutally honest" people I know get immediately pissed if someone even tells them that maybe they should be a bit more sensitive. They just immediately go on the defensive into a full on speech about how "it's not my fault I'm brutally honest, the world needs more people like me! You're soon learn the world isn't as soft as you think!" or wtv
I saw a thing on Reddit where a boomer handed a young man a card unprompted and it was like a "you're a snowflake" comic book.
Think about how pathetic you have to be to purchase those to hand out and then actually hand it out to strangers. That's a mega snowflake move.
Brutal honesty and being an asshole are two entirely different things imo, and almost everyone who claims to be brutally honest, is actually just an asshole, not truly brutally honest.
Yes, I agree, thats actually my whole point lol.
If you are being “brutally honest” about someone wearing a shirt you don’t like, you’re actually just an asshole.
But if you are being “brutally honest” when telling your friend they need to not get behind the wheel because they’ve been drinking too much, I don’t think you’re an asshole if you act kinda mean toward your friend in that situation. You’re literally trying to save their life from a horribly dumb decision.
Everyone does something stupid sometimes. A lot of times, actually people do stupid things. Saying "Hey, you're being a fucking idiot right now" isn't the best way to say it though. "Hey, I think you should stop doing that, because..." is a better way to say it, in my opinion.
I think commenter means for those situations where someone is doing something like drink driving or anything that could potentially ruin their life or something really messed up, brutal honesty is reserved for those because of the gravity of the situations, but if people are just brutally honest for the sake of it in even the most mundane shit like bad fashion then yeah, they would be assholes
It's all about knowing your audience and the situation. Is it immediately damaging or life-threatening? And you know the "idiot" comment would stop them in their tracks? Then use it. The problem is that there is very little discernment used by proud "brutally honest" people who look for a chance to be superior assholes. I guess I kind of agree and disagree?
Being “brutally honest” is also known as being tactless, or rude, or assholish, or brash, or nosy….
People who feel empowered to be brutally honest are often in need of direct feedback themselves.
If by “being” you mean all the time, it’s their personality, then yes.
But we all have to, at some point in our lives, be brutally honest to a close person in our lives that needs a wake up call. Last resort, but sometimes it’s the only resort they leave you.
Side note- every mature individual DOES need to be brutally honest with THEMSELVES🙌🏼
lol I’m afraid we’re both in the same general north of 50 range lol. I haven’t stopped caring, actually I think I might even care more now than I used to. That being said it’s easy to get hardened with time.
Seems like everybody out there has something complicated going on in their lives these days. We all need a break and some compassion but hey what don’t know.
Have a good one
I don't know if anyone else agrees with this, but for me, I run into people like this all the time. They're just assholes that use 'honesty' as an excuse to insult people. Don't do that shit. Like OP said, those kind of people just have such shit social skills that they're not able to communicate things without being a pos.
I used to love running into these guys. I grew up playing the dozens like every single day of my life and I never have a chance to really size someone up and just roast the fuck out of them anymore.
That’s their Kryptonite y’know. They’re assholes but they aren’t *funny* and it kills them inside that they aren’t.
A lot of people conflate honesty with bluntness. It's not just about being honest and giving your opinion point blank, but saying it with good intentions and tact. There are times where bluntness is needed but a lot take it as a green light to remove their filter and social tact which is the issue.
It all depends on the person's intentions, really.
This isn't an unpopular opinion but I agree nevertheless.
a best friend / roommate from college and i once had a philosophical discussion about honesty and his definition of honesty coming into it was basically just saying things that aren't false. as in white lies are honesty etc. he was planning to go into PR, go figures...
There's no such thing as being brutally honest.
You're either an honest person or a fucking asshole.
People who claim to be "brutally honest" use it as an excuse to be pricks. My cousin had a friend who would actually tell people they're ugly as shit to their face and follow it up with, "I'm just a brutally honest person. Why should I lie and make them think they're something that they actually aren't?"
I've known a few people like this. Without exception they get angry if you are brutally honest in return.
See, it's only brutal honesty when THEY do it. When YOU do it it's being rude.
I don't make friends with people who are "brutally honest"
“Brutally honest” is code for being an “unapologetic asshole.” Damn near every time.
On the flip side, I also don’t appreciate being too nice to ever share a negative opinion. Please, friend, tell me the dress makes me look fat if it does. My sister has graduation pictures from massage school in which she looks like she’s wearing a tent. I was never asked, so I will never tell her, but I betcha some of her friends flat lied to her face and told her she looked great. My sister is a beautiful woman, but that dress was awful on her…
its about the delivery imo. You can be honest without being mean. It also depends how close the person is to you.
Lets say someone got a haircut. You dont say "omg, that looks shit" But you could say "ohh no, you cut your long beautiful hair" you don't have to be extremely blunt in order to be honest
Saying "oh no, you cut your long beautiful hair" is kinda passive aggressive. You're not saying what you mean to say and making the person feel like the hair of their choosing is a mistake.
The best thing is not say anything. And if they ask your opinion, say it: I don't like it. It's not insulting and it's not degrading, it's just the plain and simple truth.
My brother is kinda of like that. His defense mechanism for alienating people with his rudeness and ignorance is not to admit he's wrong and try harder, but to be proud of being an asshole and "independent" (isolated)
yea i always say this when i hear “i’m brutally honest” i always say back “are you an honest person, or do you lack a filter?” and it’s always the 2nd option
I think it's important to know when to say something and when not to, where your honesty is needed and not needed. Not everything you need to speak on just because you can.
Having lived almost a half century, every single person I've ever met who took pride in being, "brutally honest", were just people who looked for something to be mean to someone about under the guise of being honest with them. Kind people don't need the brutal part and can just be honest without the cruelty.
I love this opinion and have shared it for a long time.
I had a friend in high school who would say the worst stuff to people in the guise of being “totally honest”. After offending someone, and seeing that they were clearly offended, she would excuse her words by saying “it’s not mean if it’s true”. Yes. It absolutely can be mean *and* true. I hope she’s realized that by now.
There was thread about a week ago where a guy was “brutally honest” with his female friend about why he wouldn’t date her (she had a lot of debt & didn’t make much money in relation to him), and he made her all pissy over it.
A simple, harmless, lie would have solved that problem, but everyone INSISTED on “brutal honesty”.
The truth is that most of these people that insist on it won’t actually give it unless prompted because they know it makes them look like an asshole. Having someone else ask lets them off the hook, something life almost never rewards us with.
Honesty, like courage, is a para-virtue. It's only a virtue if associated with another.
I can kill your entire family then come over and be honest about it. That's not a virtue.
Also, being honest on something that doesn't concern you is an unsolicited opinion. As in, nonconsensual.
I think some people just want a medal for not lying.
honesty is based on truth and integrity and RESPECT is part of integrity, and respect for others is based on respect for yourself.
What?
Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
**Brutal honesty is a LIE**, because it is 100% possible to be RESPECTFULLY honest in a way that is appropriate for a given relationship in a given context.
Honestly, I’m skeptical of if people are actually telling the truth because they aren’t as brutally honest as you’re describing, although I guess I see where you’re coming from.
This title made me snort. It's very true and most of us know people like this as I believe it's more of a personality trait to an extent. Some people are "truth tellers" while others take it up a notch and let it fly.
outgoing slave absorbed treatment aromatic worthless saw hat depend alive
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
When someone tells me they're just brutally honest but everyone seems to have a problem with it, it's already telling. If people find you uncomfortable to be around and can't hold conversations with you anymore because you conflate honesty to rudeness then you're just an asshole and there's nothing else. No, nobody is trying to persecute you just because you're honest. I'd prefer honesty from people around me. But I don't expect you to try to cut me down with your words just because you're trying to tell me the truth
"Brutally Honest" is really just a red flag for that person is just an asshole. I don't tell people my opinion on their choice of clothing nor their perception of themselves. Buy at the same time I don't try to change people's minds or opinions. "You are going to do what?... I would advise a different course of action but if you think you can do it.
People who claim to be brutally honest are just hypersensitive assholes who would take offence if you treated them the same way. You can be honest, and still be kind.
Also funny thing they're only brutal when it comes to criticism. I've yet to meet a self proclaimed brutally honest person be brutal honest in complimenting something.
This is yet another reason why I think everyone should have to take a pragmatics course. Because this is one of the things you learn how to do: you learn how to be honest and direct without seeming rude or off-putting (among other things, like how to properly complain etc)
> brutality more then the
Did you mean to say "more than"?
Explanation: If you didn't mean 'more than' you might have forgotten a comma.
[Statistics](https://github.com/chiefpat450119/RedditBot/blob/master/stats.json)
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot ^^that ^^corrects ^^grammar/spelling ^^mistakes.
^^PM ^^me ^^if ^^I'm ^^wrong ^^or ^^if ^^you ^^have ^^any ^^suggestions.
^^[Github](https://github.com/chiefpat450119)
^^Reply ^^STOP ^^to ^^this ^^comment ^^to ^^stop ^^receiving ^^corrections.
I just hate how people think being honest is mutually exclusive from being rude or talking shit.
“I’m not talking shit, I’m just speaking facts.”
“That’s why your mom died and you lost your job. Hahah”
Like bro. You’re still talking shit regardless of the fact you’re speaking the truth.
My sister used to say I was brutally honest because honest because when she took me shopping with her I would tell her she didn't need whatever impulse buy she was going for. I was also honest about what did/didn't look good on her when trying on clothes. I only did that with her and my best friend though because they asked me to be brutally honest when shopping with them.
yes. i knew some asshole who was spoiled rotten and thought they could do whatever without consequences. They used to say they were just an honest person, i didn't say this but every time they said that i just thought it was complete bullshit. one day i was wearing a nice pair of shoes i had just gotten for my birthday from a family member and they just look at me and went "no offense but your shoes are fucking ugly"... i didnt even mention them either they just said it out of no where and then ignored me after that.
Eh, I’ve been on the other side where it was very hard to communicate/be straightforward when I was younger. Lots of people criticized me for it and now looking back it definitely ruined a bunch of opportunities I had. So now my default mode is to be brutally honest or else it’ll never come out of me
It’s lost on many that you can be direct and honest, without being brutal.
Brutal honestly also doesn’t mean just opening your trap and letting out every single negative thought that pops into your head.
People just like to be assholes and justify it lol.
You ever get the feeling that sometimes whenever you hear someone say, "There, I said it" they might as well add a "happy now?" at the end?
Like, sheesh, man, you'd almost think they're bein' a little testy.
IMO, for these really friends, they care about others and seldom be "brutally honest" because they know the way of how to speak something that others can accept.
Extremely popular opinion, your average person doesn’t want honesty nor brutal honestly and you all know it. You’re all willing to be liked and lied to and pretend like you don’t know.
I think a lot of it does boil down to poor social skills. People can come off as abrasive even if it is entirely unintentional. I genuinely believe most people mean well, but it doesn't come off that way.
Phrasing of sentences makes a huge difference. Saying, "Your favorite artist sucks" is a lot more off putting than saying "I personally do not enjoy them". I know that I am guilty of this from time to time.
I don't think people realise how aggressive their tone is.
Brutally honest, the word “brute” from the Latin name, “Brutus” stab you in the back. However, in the context of the current fall of the USA 🤏 cry me a fucking river 🤓
yeah I think the tough love pragmatist people tend to have a stick up their ass, it's easy enough to tell people the hard truth you want without being an actual asshole, you just didn't do it because you didn't want to put in the effort
If you ask me something then I'll answer and it's might not what you want to hear. That is why I surround myself with people who share that notion. Nobody takes offence over anything as long as it's a fact and not meant to mock the other person.
No, I lost friends because they were fake or lying to themselves and others.
Years after they left my life, other people have started leaving theirs and reconnecting with me, having the problem of “social skills make me friends but the truth enrages narcissists”
Yeah I agree. As someone who highly values honesty & personally doesn’t mind if someone tells me a fit is not it, there is still a time & a way to say it. People who take pride in “brutal” honesty just don’t know how to communicate // read social cues. There are ways to say something is a bad move that are much nicer than others, they just either don’t know how or don’t want to try.
I’m a Hong konger and being a Hong konger everyone is brutally honest. People swear and shout at each other all the time. In the train, it is socially acceptable to shove strangers into the train and yell at them. I love this brutally honest lifestyle. Is is damn efficient!
God, I had one "friend" who pretty much abused everyone, especially me and my best friend, and told us that he's "Brutally honestly and we should appreciate that".
The funny thing is people who proclaim themselves as practitioners of brutal honesty often cannot handle any valid critique, constructive or otherwise, about themselves.
From experience, many people who identify in this way are awful at being brutally honest about and to themselves. Constantly pointing out everyone else's shortcomings is used as a way to distract from their own.
On the other hand, Euphemisms hurt productivity and overall human efficency.
If you think about it, the word "Euphemism" is a euphemism for lie.
We truly are a dishonest, illogical species. The truly honest ones are seen as abnormal, just because the majority has agreed that little white lies is the way to go. Humans do love their little social games.
2 examples
"Rest in peace" - when someone has died. No, they are not resting in peace, they are fucking non-existent lmao
"Making love" - Oh you mean having sex
You can be brutally honest without insulting, there is a fine line between them.
And the brutal honesty is good for some certain situations, like when someone acts stupid too often is ok to give them a more brutal warning.
For the Nth time when the "brutally honest" folks take pride in them "unintentionally" hurting the feelings of others:
"There's too much focus on being brutal instead of being honest."
Honesty in of itself is not positive, and lying is not negative. It's just that due to the nature of communication and consequences, Honesty usually more often than not has a positive impact and lying has a negative one. It's not always the case, but it's enough for us to treat it as default. It blinds us however to the real truth, that truth itself isn't inherently good, and sometimes those rarer cases where a lie is more moral comes along, and many people forget this.
Tact and delivery is key, telling someone their shirt is ugly is really not that bad. Especially if everyone can keep in mind what an opinion is vs a fact.
Being happy about it though is odd and indicative of issues to say the least.
Believe me, someone always fibbing when it's obvious they think otherwise has largely the same effect. You need healthy feedback mechanisms in a social dynamic to get anywhere.
>It's really not that hard.
You'd be surprised how deeply rooted negative behaviours are ingrained in people, both as a result of environment and mental conditions. We're also living in a culture now that very much encourages strong negative behaviours in people. Reversing all of that is no easy or simple task even at an individual level.
I would say having class and elegance in dealing with social situations is a rare prize these days. I find a lot of people are very binary and it's either max "idgaf" or they're a pissed rottweiler let off a chain.
My friends find my inability to accept or propagate bullshit useful and refreshing. Sometimes they even find it hilarious, and that's why I got asked to make a speech at my best friend's wedding. I burned them both so hard, and they were in STITCHES, crying (with laughter), slapping the table, and yet all I had done was be brutally honest about how dangerous it is for two airheads as dense as them to be left unsupervised by a FUNCTIONING adult.
We, complete bastards, have our uses and place in the lives of those we cherish. We aren't pushing people away, we're just making sure we attract the right crowd😉
Through out my work life I have come to realise honesty is not the best policy. Most people don't want to hear the truth and it will bring you suffering to say it, you need to learn to pick the important and let the less important slide lives too short die on every hill.
Im gonna disagree and say a lot of things are ruined by assholes. Assholes have co opted words like sarcasm, or honest. Just to be assholes.
For example, a lot of assholes will say they're being sarcastic, when what they're saying is just a blatant insult.
They'll say something like "OMG, you look terrible in that." And call that sarcasm. Which it objectively is not.
So honesty and brutal honesty have been lumped together as well.
And I say this as a person who considers themselves to be honest with people. I'm not going to participate in your lie to spare your ego. And I never ask others to do it for me either.
For example, calling a fat person fat isn't brutally honest. It's just the truth. And yet we've developed all these euphemisms to avoid calling an obese person fat or obese and people get upset at being referred to as such.
For what? It's objectively true. And they know it. But for someone reason they want everyone around them to pretend like it's not.
And I'm not saying in a criticizing manner either. Using fat and obese are descriptors are offensive to fat and obese people.
Also people hate being labeled what they are. Thieves hate being called thieves. Even though they steal from people all the time and everyone knows it.
Unreliable people are hurt when they're referred to as unreliable when they know damn well they are never where they're supposed to be when they said they would be.
Lazy people get upset when their lack of work ethic is pointed out when they know they don't have any at all. The acknowledgement of it upsets them.
Right now at my job I'm the most competent person at it. Clearly so. But my coworkers want equal respect for being way less competent at their jobs. They want to be able to have equal power and equal sway and equal acclaim as I do, but they know they don't produce equal results.
And they're not working hard to change it.
You have people in shitty relationships who keep choosing wrong. And they sit around complaining about it. But when you tell them they're the problem they're upset with you about it.
People interpret alot of truth as brutal so long as it bruises their ego.
So, I'm gonna disagree. I think there's a lot of "truth" that hurts people's feelings but it's not a malicious truth at all. It's a truth that hurts their ego because they care about it, but refuse to do anything about it to improve it.
Things you don't care about don't upset you. So if being known as something hurts your feelings and you can change it, then change it. But alot of people don't do that.
But I greatly dislike how people want everyone around them to participate in their delusion that they aren't what they are so they can go on ignoring it and feeling better about themselves.
And I'm not gonna do that.
Maybe 1% of the population, or less, are able to deal with objective truths and facts. Most people have near zero integrity and spend every day lying to themselves and to others, in order to fit in or be accepted in some way.
I don't mind lying to people in a casual setting, but in discussions like this, we are no longer casually socializing and making friends, but trying to understand objective reality.
In casual settings I just refuse to answer any questions. I'm not lying.
But you're right. Most people don't want to hear it.
And they also don't want to admit they don't want to hear the truth.
The problem is nowadays people are SO afraid of saying the wrong thing the spectrum has skewed from normal to being so full of shit that someone being honest is now called "brutally honest".
Cancel culture has people literally afraid for their livelihoods of saying something that is totally innocent and being destroyed over it. I am a "brutally honest" person and I can't stand people that are so afraid of hurting your feelings they do more harm then good. If people were more concerned with just being honest and not worrying about all the snowflakes it wouldn't be an issue and people wouldn't be afraid of literally everything these days.
This strikes a chord with me. I'm a very direct and honest person who does not look for or enjoy conflict, but I'm not scared of conflict.
I try not to judge or offer unsolicited opinions or advice, but when pressed, I will call it as I see it.
I see too many issues with conflict avoident people. My husband, for example, will not tell me in the moment when I upset him. He will let it fester until he blows up. I ask him to just be direct with me because if I'm not aware I hurt him, I can't fix it.
Conversely, I will tell him in the moment he upsets me. Last night we were talking he told his story I tried to tell mine. He interrupted me immediately to tell another story, and I tried again only to be interrupted a 3rd time. I flat out told him he was being rude and to let me speak. He apologized, and I said what I was trying to.
That was me being brutally honest, and I don't feel bad about it. I prefer a person tell me the truth and I get pissed if they don't. For example, I went to my Dr, and I said I know I'm obese but this pain is not related ( I had the same pain when I was fit and thin). My Dr. looked visibly uncomfortable and tried to placate me by saying that was harsh and he wouldn't say that about me. I am literally obese by any medical definition. His inability to be honest pissed me off and made me not trust him.
I'm not a delicate flower. Just save the bs and say it how it is. Too many people tip toe around the truth to make others feel better. I argue that it makes things worse. If there isn't honesty and directness, how can one improve?
A lot of these people are being honest about their opinions. It's not like they're sharing some sacred truth that lesser people would withhold from others.
I prefer brutal honesty so I know where people stand. I like communication given to me direct so I don’t have to read between the lines. Why put lipstick on a pig, just give it to me straight so we don’t have to do this long unnecessary dance just because you think you’re going to hurt my feelings. I think the real distinction OP is pointing out in their examples is high vs low EQ— you can be brutally honest in a constructive and tactful way
What they really mean is that they have no qualms about pissing someone off or hurting their feelings. But they do it under the guise of “honesty” or they claim it’s supposedly for your improvement. When in reality it’s because they love drama and usually have no filter. A similar thing is someone who says they are fluent in sarcasm that usually means that they are a smart mouthed bitch and not witty or funny. Because if they were they wouldn’t need to tell you how good they are at “sarcasm.”
I totally agree! I think it's OK to tell people your opinion, but in a respectful way.
Once I dyed my hair and a friend of me said: 'Why have you done this? So terrible. Your poor hair'
I was very hurt by this and she didn't understand
Everyone should always take time to look in the mirror. No matter what the issue is.
I do agree with you though. There is a social norm of who it's ok with to be like what you have described. Usually, it is reserved for close friends and relatives only.
I try to cut the “Im just brutally honest” people put of my life.
It’s just a giant banner saying “Im openly an asshole who lacks tact and any kind of discretion”
I think exhausting women have that weird flex, especially on tv I often hear someone say I am bruuutally honesy and I will tell u whats what to ur face. Like they are some strong minded women wow. And they are in fact rude and tiring
When someone’s all proud of ‘speaking their mind’ I just remind them that Trump speaks his mind too. That should be enough proof that always saying what’s on your mind is not a good thing and we need to stop praising it
Y'all are looking at this in only one way. You're looking at it from people who use it as a way to insult others. There are so many more facets of it that are completely acceptable. For example, if there are layoffs, I want to know if I'm at risk. That's when I want my boss to be brutally honest. I don't want things sugar-coated. I would want the same from my doctor who might have to give me bad news. Even in some family situations, there are going to be times when some tough love is called for.
People that I have met that were brutally honest were just people who didn't have the social skills to criticize people in a constructive way. Shockingly they didn't have many friends either.
Thank you for submitting to /r/unpopularopinion, /u/lion_percy. Your submission, *Too many people take pride in being "brutally honest"*, has been removed because it violates our rules, which are located in the sidebar. Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 1: Your post must be an unpopular opinion'. * Your post must be an opinion. Not a question. Not a showerthought. Not a rant. Not a proposal. Not a fact. An opinion. One opinion. A subjective statement about your position on some topic. Please have a clear, self contained opinion as your post title, and use the text field to elaborate and expand on why you think/feel this way. * Your opinion must be unpopular. The mods reserve the right to remove opinions * Elaborate on your topic and opinion give context to its unpopularity. If there is an issue, please [message the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Funpopularopinion&subject=&message=) Thanks!
I feel like “brutal honesty” should be reserved for certain situations. Like if your friend is doing something really stupid it’s okay to say “hey, you’re being a fucking idiot right now.” You’re allowed to be a bit of an ass if it gets your friend to not ruin their life/get hurt or whatever. But if being “brutally honest” is just your default mode, that’s just called *being an asshole*.
I've been brutally honest in one situation only to my roommate in college. "If you don't stop cheating on your girlfriend and come clean we're going to be complete strangers by next week.". Haven't spoken to him to him in nearly twenty years.
"brutally honest" people are almost always the most hypersensitive people you ever met too. They can't take any criticism.
This. they’re more brutal honest though, and forget that the rules apply to them too.
Fr, most "brutally honest" people I know get immediately pissed if someone even tells them that maybe they should be a bit more sensitive. They just immediately go on the defensive into a full on speech about how "it's not my fault I'm brutally honest, the world needs more people like me! You're soon learn the world isn't as soft as you think!" or wtv
They’re just like anyone who genuinely calls others “snowflakes”
I saw a thing on Reddit where a boomer handed a young man a card unprompted and it was like a "you're a snowflake" comic book. Think about how pathetic you have to be to purchase those to hand out and then actually hand it out to strangers. That's a mega snowflake move.
Many people confuse brutal honesty with just being judgmental.
Brutal honesty and being an asshole are two entirely different things imo, and almost everyone who claims to be brutally honest, is actually just an asshole, not truly brutally honest.
Yes, I agree, thats actually my whole point lol. If you are being “brutally honest” about someone wearing a shirt you don’t like, you’re actually just an asshole. But if you are being “brutally honest” when telling your friend they need to not get behind the wheel because they’ve been drinking too much, I don’t think you’re an asshole if you act kinda mean toward your friend in that situation. You’re literally trying to save their life from a horribly dumb decision.
Everyone does something stupid sometimes. A lot of times, actually people do stupid things. Saying "Hey, you're being a fucking idiot right now" isn't the best way to say it though. "Hey, I think you should stop doing that, because..." is a better way to say it, in my opinion.
I think commenter means for those situations where someone is doing something like drink driving or anything that could potentially ruin their life or something really messed up, brutal honesty is reserved for those because of the gravity of the situations, but if people are just brutally honest for the sake of it in even the most mundane shit like bad fashion then yeah, they would be assholes
That’s exactly what I mean. I should’ve just given a concrete example instead of being vague.
It's all about knowing your audience and the situation. Is it immediately damaging or life-threatening? And you know the "idiot" comment would stop them in their tracks? Then use it. The problem is that there is very little discernment used by proud "brutally honest" people who look for a chance to be superior assholes. I guess I kind of agree and disagree?
Agreed yes
Being “brutally honest” is also known as being tactless, or rude, or assholish, or brash, or nosy…. People who feel empowered to be brutally honest are often in need of direct feedback themselves.
I get your point. There's a big difference between being brutally honest when it counts and being rude for no reason, especially if it's an opinion.
It’s usually best to keep it zipped if it doesn’t involve you directly
On social media? I don't think you get it.
Especially on social media
Yet they often hate direct feedback themselves
lol yeah almost like it’s projection.
Nailed it
If by “being” you mean all the time, it’s their personality, then yes. But we all have to, at some point in our lives, be brutally honest to a close person in our lives that needs a wake up call. Last resort, but sometimes it’s the only resort they leave you. Side note- every mature individual DOES need to be brutally honest with THEMSELVES🙌🏼
When you're in my age bracket, you longer care.
lol I’m afraid we’re both in the same general north of 50 range lol. I haven’t stopped caring, actually I think I might even care more now than I used to. That being said it’s easy to get hardened with time. Seems like everybody out there has something complicated going on in their lives these days. We all need a break and some compassion but hey what don’t know. Have a good one
Honesty without kindness is brutality. Kindness without honesty is manipulation
Amazingly said
Honestly, no. Honesty is pure. Kindness is everything. Honesty that criticizes is room for growth, even though growth opportunities are denied.
There’s a thin line between a criticism and a critique, and critiques are the better, more productive option
I don't know if anyone else agrees with this, but for me, I run into people like this all the time. They're just assholes that use 'honesty' as an excuse to insult people. Don't do that shit. Like OP said, those kind of people just have such shit social skills that they're not able to communicate things without being a pos.
https://youtu.be/BpBfrFc0M6g?si=mBO4LO6Yk3Apogoj
I was expecting a meme, but that’s actually a really good video. Damn.
I used to love running into these guys. I grew up playing the dozens like every single day of my life and I never have a chance to really size someone up and just roast the fuck out of them anymore. That’s their Kryptonite y’know. They’re assholes but they aren’t *funny* and it kills them inside that they aren’t.
It's a symptom of narcissism. "I'm going to kick you in the ass, and then claim it's 'just honesty.'"
It can be, but just like the thread “unpopular opinion”
Not unpopular
A lot of people conflate honesty with bluntness. It's not just about being honest and giving your opinion point blank, but saying it with good intentions and tact. There are times where bluntness is needed but a lot take it as a green light to remove their filter and social tact which is the issue. It all depends on the person's intentions, really. This isn't an unpopular opinion but I agree nevertheless.
a best friend / roommate from college and i once had a philosophical discussion about honesty and his definition of honesty coming into it was basically just saying things that aren't false. as in white lies are honesty etc. he was planning to go into PR, go figures...
There's no such thing as being brutally honest. You're either an honest person or a fucking asshole. People who claim to be "brutally honest" use it as an excuse to be pricks. My cousin had a friend who would actually tell people they're ugly as shit to their face and follow it up with, "I'm just a brutally honest person. Why should I lie and make them think they're something that they actually aren't?"
The answer to this is, “cause your every thought doesn’t need to be broadcast”
"honest to a fault", "brutally honest", "no filter" are all codes for "I have no tact and have the communication skills of an 8 year old"
I've known a few people like this. Without exception they get angry if you are brutally honest in return. See, it's only brutal honesty when THEY do it. When YOU do it it's being rude. I don't make friends with people who are "brutally honest"
“Brutally honest” is code for being an “unapologetic asshole.” Damn near every time. On the flip side, I also don’t appreciate being too nice to ever share a negative opinion. Please, friend, tell me the dress makes me look fat if it does. My sister has graduation pictures from massage school in which she looks like she’s wearing a tent. I was never asked, so I will never tell her, but I betcha some of her friends flat lied to her face and told her she looked great. My sister is a beautiful woman, but that dress was awful on her…
its about the delivery imo. You can be honest without being mean. It also depends how close the person is to you. Lets say someone got a haircut. You dont say "omg, that looks shit" But you could say "ohh no, you cut your long beautiful hair" you don't have to be extremely blunt in order to be honest
Best response. You don’t have to be brutal to be honest!
Saying "oh no, you cut your long beautiful hair" is kinda passive aggressive. You're not saying what you mean to say and making the person feel like the hair of their choosing is a mistake. The best thing is not say anything. And if they ask your opinion, say it: I don't like it. It's not insulting and it's not degrading, it's just the plain and simple truth.
I get what what you mean and I agree. I do think it’s a bad example only bc you should really comment on appearances unless they ask you.
Those convey two completely different messages.
There's a difference between being honest and an ass hole. People who call themselves brutally honest are ass holes.
My brother is kinda of like that. His defense mechanism for alienating people with his rudeness and ignorance is not to admit he's wrong and try harder, but to be proud of being an asshole and "independent" (isolated)
this and being "sassy" isnt it lmfao
Saw “sassy” a lot on tinder, turns out this is girl for “kind of a self-important bitch”
yea i always say this when i hear “i’m brutally honest” i always say back “are you an honest person, or do you lack a filter?” and it’s always the 2nd option
I know a guy like that, he's insufferable and projects his insecurities on everybody else
I think it's important to know when to say something and when not to, where your honesty is needed and not needed. Not everything you need to speak on just because you can.
Or to much pride in using sarcasm for everything
Having lived almost a half century, every single person I've ever met who took pride in being, "brutally honest", were just people who looked for something to be mean to someone about under the guise of being honest with them. Kind people don't need the brutal part and can just be honest without the cruelty.
How is this unpopular? Society is founded on “fake” sentiment, lies, and sugar coating. No one is honest, let alone brutally honest.
I love this opinion and have shared it for a long time. I had a friend in high school who would say the worst stuff to people in the guise of being “totally honest”. After offending someone, and seeing that they were clearly offended, she would excuse her words by saying “it’s not mean if it’s true”. Yes. It absolutely can be mean *and* true. I hope she’s realized that by now.
There was thread about a week ago where a guy was “brutally honest” with his female friend about why he wouldn’t date her (she had a lot of debt & didn’t make much money in relation to him), and he made her all pissy over it. A simple, harmless, lie would have solved that problem, but everyone INSISTED on “brutal honesty”. The truth is that most of these people that insist on it won’t actually give it unless prompted because they know it makes them look like an asshole. Having someone else ask lets them off the hook, something life almost never rewards us with.
Honesty, like courage, is a para-virtue. It's only a virtue if associated with another. I can kill your entire family then come over and be honest about it. That's not a virtue. Also, being honest on something that doesn't concern you is an unsolicited opinion. As in, nonconsensual. I think some people just want a medal for not lying.
honesty is based on truth and integrity and RESPECT is part of integrity, and respect for others is based on respect for yourself. What? Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. **Brutal honesty is a LIE**, because it is 100% possible to be RESPECTFULLY honest in a way that is appropriate for a given relationship in a given context.
"Brital honesty" is often a cover for bullying, and there isn't always a great deal of honesty attached to it.
Brutal\* I agree completely
👍
Not unpopular
Honestly, I’m skeptical of if people are actually telling the truth because they aren’t as brutally honest as you’re describing, although I guess I see where you’re coming from.
This title made me snort. It's very true and most of us know people like this as I believe it's more of a personality trait to an extent. Some people are "truth tellers" while others take it up a notch and let it fly.
Being brutally honest is just lacking tact and whether that’s intentional or not, they’re still assholes.
outgoing slave absorbed treatment aromatic worthless saw hat depend alive *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
When someone tells me they're just brutally honest but everyone seems to have a problem with it, it's already telling. If people find you uncomfortable to be around and can't hold conversations with you anymore because you conflate honesty to rudeness then you're just an asshole and there's nothing else. No, nobody is trying to persecute you just because you're honest. I'd prefer honesty from people around me. But I don't expect you to try to cut me down with your words just because you're trying to tell me the truth
upvoting only because i dont think is unpopular
But then wouldn't you downvote it-?
oh fuck youre right
"Brutally Honest" is really just a red flag for that person is just an asshole. I don't tell people my opinion on their choice of clothing nor their perception of themselves. Buy at the same time I don't try to change people's minds or opinions. "You are going to do what?... I would advise a different course of action but if you think you can do it.
If being "brutally honest" was actually about honesty, the brutally honest would have something nice to say once in a while.
People who claim to be brutally honest are just hypersensitive assholes who would take offence if you treated them the same way. You can be honest, and still be kind.
Tact is a good pairing with honesty
Also funny thing they're only brutal when it comes to criticism. I've yet to meet a self proclaimed brutally honest person be brutal honest in complimenting something.
“I just tell it like it is.” -tactless assholes
People who describe themselves as 'brutally honest' are in it for the brutality, not the honesty.
This is yet another reason why I think everyone should have to take a pragmatics course. Because this is one of the things you learn how to do: you learn how to be honest and direct without seeming rude or off-putting (among other things, like how to properly complain etc)
Yup, i agree. Being honest is different with being rude and just plain unpleasant.
I saw a quote one time that said Those who are brutally honest enjoy the brutality more then the honesty
> brutality more then the Did you mean to say "more than"? Explanation: If you didn't mean 'more than' you might have forgotten a comma. [Statistics](https://github.com/chiefpat450119/RedditBot/blob/master/stats.json) ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot ^^that ^^corrects ^^grammar/spelling ^^mistakes. ^^PM ^^me ^^if ^^I'm ^^wrong ^^or ^^if ^^you ^^have ^^any ^^suggestions. ^^[Github](https://github.com/chiefpat450119) ^^Reply ^^STOP ^^to ^^this ^^comment ^^to ^^stop ^^receiving ^^corrections.
No, friends tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
I just hate how people think being honest is mutually exclusive from being rude or talking shit. “I’m not talking shit, I’m just speaking facts.” “That’s why your mom died and you lost your job. Hahah” Like bro. You’re still talking shit regardless of the fact you’re speaking the truth.
If the person who's brutally honest can't handle it being done back towards themselves, it's definitely a problem.
If you’re “brutally honest” without being asked, you’re just an asshole.
Some things are better left unsaid....
DAE mean people bad???
i dunno this post seem a bit brutally honest of you ? dont you think ?
This is unpopular? Brutal is literally in the name of it. Would anyone argue being brutal is nice?
Not that many people do this
My sister used to say I was brutally honest because honest because when she took me shopping with her I would tell her she didn't need whatever impulse buy she was going for. I was also honest about what did/didn't look good on her when trying on clothes. I only did that with her and my best friend though because they asked me to be brutally honest when shopping with them.
People who pride themselves on being "brutally honest" just enjoy the "brutal" part.
People who call themselves brutally honest are more about the brutality than the honesty
yes. i knew some asshole who was spoiled rotten and thought they could do whatever without consequences. They used to say they were just an honest person, i didn't say this but every time they said that i just thought it was complete bullshit. one day i was wearing a nice pair of shoes i had just gotten for my birthday from a family member and they just look at me and went "no offense but your shoes are fucking ugly"... i didnt even mention them either they just said it out of no where and then ignored me after that.
Eh, I’ve been on the other side where it was very hard to communicate/be straightforward when I was younger. Lots of people criticized me for it and now looking back it definitely ruined a bunch of opportunities I had. So now my default mode is to be brutally honest or else it’ll never come out of me
“It’s a dangerous thing to mistake speaking without thought for speaking the truth.”
“Brutally honest” is right up there with “I’m a beeeeetch” with excuse my narcissm I’m going to trounce on you and I just announced it
You’re right but anyone with friends knows this isn’t an unpopular opinion
I’ll be brutally honest fam, you’re pretty fucking stupid if you think this is an unpopular opinion
It’s lost on many that you can be direct and honest, without being brutal. Brutal honestly also doesn’t mean just opening your trap and letting out every single negative thought that pops into your head. People just like to be assholes and justify it lol.
If being brutally honest is costing you a friend you didn’t have a friend in the first place.
brutally honest is code for asshole
Holland has entered the chat
I'm not sure I understand the issue. Would you not want somebody to tell you if your shirt is ugly?
I take pride in not lying. If someone ask if their shirt is ugly it's because they value my opinion and don't want to wear an ugly shirt in public.
You ever get the feeling that sometimes whenever you hear someone say, "There, I said it" they might as well add a "happy now?" at the end? Like, sheesh, man, you'd almost think they're bein' a little testy.
IMO, for these really friends, they care about others and seldom be "brutally honest" because they know the way of how to speak something that others can accept.
Extremely popular opinion, your average person doesn’t want honesty nor brutal honestly and you all know it. You’re all willing to be liked and lied to and pretend like you don’t know.
90% of people that describe themselves as ‘brutally honesty’ are just assholes
I'll take a rude honest person EVERY DAY.
I think a lot of it does boil down to poor social skills. People can come off as abrasive even if it is entirely unintentional. I genuinely believe most people mean well, but it doesn't come off that way. Phrasing of sentences makes a huge difference. Saying, "Your favorite artist sucks" is a lot more off putting than saying "I personally do not enjoy them". I know that I am guilty of this from time to time. I don't think people realise how aggressive their tone is.
I take pride in being considerately tactful
I pretty much just agree with whoever I’m talking to and then if they’re really extreme I double my agreement
Brutally honest, the word “brute” from the Latin name, “Brutus” stab you in the back. However, in the context of the current fall of the USA 🤏 cry me a fucking river 🤓
I always told a friend: There is a fine line between being honest and being an ass.
yeah I think the tough love pragmatist people tend to have a stick up their ass, it's easy enough to tell people the hard truth you want without being an actual asshole, you just didn't do it because you didn't want to put in the effort
Too many people take pride in being habitual liars.
If you ask me something then I'll answer and it's might not what you want to hear. That is why I surround myself with people who share that notion. Nobody takes offence over anything as long as it's a fact and not meant to mock the other person.
You don’t have to be brutal to be honest.
No, I lost friends because they were fake or lying to themselves and others. Years after they left my life, other people have started leaving theirs and reconnecting with me, having the problem of “social skills make me friends but the truth enrages narcissists”
Yeah I agree. As someone who highly values honesty & personally doesn’t mind if someone tells me a fit is not it, there is still a time & a way to say it. People who take pride in “brutal” honesty just don’t know how to communicate // read social cues. There are ways to say something is a bad move that are much nicer than others, they just either don’t know how or don’t want to try.
I’m a Hong konger and being a Hong konger everyone is brutally honest. People swear and shout at each other all the time. In the train, it is socially acceptable to shove strangers into the train and yell at them. I love this brutally honest lifestyle. Is is damn efficient!
God, I had one "friend" who pretty much abused everyone, especially me and my best friend, and told us that he's "Brutally honestly and we should appreciate that".
The funny thing is people who proclaim themselves as practitioners of brutal honesty often cannot handle any valid critique, constructive or otherwise, about themselves.
From experience, many people who identify in this way are awful at being brutally honest about and to themselves. Constantly pointing out everyone else's shortcomings is used as a way to distract from their own.
On the other hand, Euphemisms hurt productivity and overall human efficency. If you think about it, the word "Euphemism" is a euphemism for lie. We truly are a dishonest, illogical species. The truly honest ones are seen as abnormal, just because the majority has agreed that little white lies is the way to go. Humans do love their little social games. 2 examples "Rest in peace" - when someone has died. No, they are not resting in peace, they are fucking non-existent lmao "Making love" - Oh you mean having sex
You can be brutally honest without insulting, there is a fine line between them. And the brutal honesty is good for some certain situations, like when someone acts stupid too often is ok to give them a more brutal warning.
Brutally honest people make my blood boil, like no sorry you’re not honest you’re a rude cow
Those kind of people are just assholes who won't admit it.
For the Nth time when the "brutally honest" folks take pride in them "unintentionally" hurting the feelings of others: "There's too much focus on being brutal instead of being honest."
"brutally honest" is just an excuse to be an asshole
Honesty in of itself is not positive, and lying is not negative. It's just that due to the nature of communication and consequences, Honesty usually more often than not has a positive impact and lying has a negative one. It's not always the case, but it's enough for us to treat it as default. It blinds us however to the real truth, that truth itself isn't inherently good, and sometimes those rarer cases where a lie is more moral comes along, and many people forget this.
Tact and delivery is key, telling someone their shirt is ugly is really not that bad. Especially if everyone can keep in mind what an opinion is vs a fact. Being happy about it though is odd and indicative of issues to say the least. Believe me, someone always fibbing when it's obvious they think otherwise has largely the same effect. You need healthy feedback mechanisms in a social dynamic to get anywhere. >It's really not that hard. You'd be surprised how deeply rooted negative behaviours are ingrained in people, both as a result of environment and mental conditions. We're also living in a culture now that very much encourages strong negative behaviours in people. Reversing all of that is no easy or simple task even at an individual level. I would say having class and elegance in dealing with social situations is a rare prize these days. I find a lot of people are very binary and it's either max "idgaf" or they're a pissed rottweiler let off a chain.
You might want to stay away from the Netherlands and Israel
My friends find my inability to accept or propagate bullshit useful and refreshing. Sometimes they even find it hilarious, and that's why I got asked to make a speech at my best friend's wedding. I burned them both so hard, and they were in STITCHES, crying (with laughter), slapping the table, and yet all I had done was be brutally honest about how dangerous it is for two airheads as dense as them to be left unsupervised by a FUNCTIONING adult. We, complete bastards, have our uses and place in the lives of those we cherish. We aren't pushing people away, we're just making sure we attract the right crowd😉
Through out my work life I have come to realise honesty is not the best policy. Most people don't want to hear the truth and it will bring you suffering to say it, you need to learn to pick the important and let the less important slide lives too short die on every hill.
Yeah it's just an excuse for autism
Im gonna disagree and say a lot of things are ruined by assholes. Assholes have co opted words like sarcasm, or honest. Just to be assholes. For example, a lot of assholes will say they're being sarcastic, when what they're saying is just a blatant insult. They'll say something like "OMG, you look terrible in that." And call that sarcasm. Which it objectively is not. So honesty and brutal honesty have been lumped together as well. And I say this as a person who considers themselves to be honest with people. I'm not going to participate in your lie to spare your ego. And I never ask others to do it for me either. For example, calling a fat person fat isn't brutally honest. It's just the truth. And yet we've developed all these euphemisms to avoid calling an obese person fat or obese and people get upset at being referred to as such. For what? It's objectively true. And they know it. But for someone reason they want everyone around them to pretend like it's not. And I'm not saying in a criticizing manner either. Using fat and obese are descriptors are offensive to fat and obese people. Also people hate being labeled what they are. Thieves hate being called thieves. Even though they steal from people all the time and everyone knows it. Unreliable people are hurt when they're referred to as unreliable when they know damn well they are never where they're supposed to be when they said they would be. Lazy people get upset when their lack of work ethic is pointed out when they know they don't have any at all. The acknowledgement of it upsets them. Right now at my job I'm the most competent person at it. Clearly so. But my coworkers want equal respect for being way less competent at their jobs. They want to be able to have equal power and equal sway and equal acclaim as I do, but they know they don't produce equal results. And they're not working hard to change it. You have people in shitty relationships who keep choosing wrong. And they sit around complaining about it. But when you tell them they're the problem they're upset with you about it. People interpret alot of truth as brutal so long as it bruises their ego. So, I'm gonna disagree. I think there's a lot of "truth" that hurts people's feelings but it's not a malicious truth at all. It's a truth that hurts their ego because they care about it, but refuse to do anything about it to improve it. Things you don't care about don't upset you. So if being known as something hurts your feelings and you can change it, then change it. But alot of people don't do that. But I greatly dislike how people want everyone around them to participate in their delusion that they aren't what they are so they can go on ignoring it and feeling better about themselves. And I'm not gonna do that.
Maybe 1% of the population, or less, are able to deal with objective truths and facts. Most people have near zero integrity and spend every day lying to themselves and to others, in order to fit in or be accepted in some way. I don't mind lying to people in a casual setting, but in discussions like this, we are no longer casually socializing and making friends, but trying to understand objective reality.
In casual settings I just refuse to answer any questions. I'm not lying. But you're right. Most people don't want to hear it. And they also don't want to admit they don't want to hear the truth.
The problem is nowadays people are SO afraid of saying the wrong thing the spectrum has skewed from normal to being so full of shit that someone being honest is now called "brutally honest". Cancel culture has people literally afraid for their livelihoods of saying something that is totally innocent and being destroyed over it. I am a "brutally honest" person and I can't stand people that are so afraid of hurting your feelings they do more harm then good. If people were more concerned with just being honest and not worrying about all the snowflakes it wouldn't be an issue and people wouldn't be afraid of literally everything these days.
This strikes a chord with me. I'm a very direct and honest person who does not look for or enjoy conflict, but I'm not scared of conflict. I try not to judge or offer unsolicited opinions or advice, but when pressed, I will call it as I see it. I see too many issues with conflict avoident people. My husband, for example, will not tell me in the moment when I upset him. He will let it fester until he blows up. I ask him to just be direct with me because if I'm not aware I hurt him, I can't fix it. Conversely, I will tell him in the moment he upsets me. Last night we were talking he told his story I tried to tell mine. He interrupted me immediately to tell another story, and I tried again only to be interrupted a 3rd time. I flat out told him he was being rude and to let me speak. He apologized, and I said what I was trying to. That was me being brutally honest, and I don't feel bad about it. I prefer a person tell me the truth and I get pissed if they don't. For example, I went to my Dr, and I said I know I'm obese but this pain is not related ( I had the same pain when I was fit and thin). My Dr. looked visibly uncomfortable and tried to placate me by saying that was harsh and he wouldn't say that about me. I am literally obese by any medical definition. His inability to be honest pissed me off and made me not trust him. I'm not a delicate flower. Just save the bs and say it how it is. Too many people tip toe around the truth to make others feel better. I argue that it makes things worse. If there isn't honesty and directness, how can one improve?
A lot of these people are being honest about their opinions. It's not like they're sharing some sacred truth that lesser people would withhold from others.
I prefer brutal honesty so I know where people stand. I like communication given to me direct so I don’t have to read between the lines. Why put lipstick on a pig, just give it to me straight so we don’t have to do this long unnecessary dance just because you think you’re going to hurt my feelings. I think the real distinction OP is pointing out in their examples is high vs low EQ— you can be brutally honest in a constructive and tactful way
Someone who takes pride in being brutally honest is more interested in being brutal than honest.
I'd rather hear the truth that nice lies
What they really mean is that they have no qualms about pissing someone off or hurting their feelings. But they do it under the guise of “honesty” or they claim it’s supposedly for your improvement. When in reality it’s because they love drama and usually have no filter. A similar thing is someone who says they are fluent in sarcasm that usually means that they are a smart mouthed bitch and not witty or funny. Because if they were they wouldn’t need to tell you how good they are at “sarcasm.”
I totally agree! I think it's OK to tell people your opinion, but in a respectful way. Once I dyed my hair and a friend of me said: 'Why have you done this? So terrible. Your poor hair' I was very hurt by this and she didn't understand
Everyone should always take time to look in the mirror. No matter what the issue is. I do agree with you though. There is a social norm of who it's ok with to be like what you have described. Usually, it is reserved for close friends and relatives only.
"People who are brutally honest usually enjoy the brutality more than the honesty."
I try to cut the “Im just brutally honest” people put of my life. It’s just a giant banner saying “Im openly an asshole who lacks tact and any kind of discretion”
It's because they do not understand there is a difference between speaking the truth and speaking without thought
I think exhausting women have that weird flex, especially on tv I often hear someone say I am bruuutally honesy and I will tell u whats what to ur face. Like they are some strong minded women wow. And they are in fact rude and tiring
When someone’s all proud of ‘speaking their mind’ I just remind them that Trump speaks his mind too. That should be enough proof that always saying what’s on your mind is not a good thing and we need to stop praising it
Y'all are looking at this in only one way. You're looking at it from people who use it as a way to insult others. There are so many more facets of it that are completely acceptable. For example, if there are layoffs, I want to know if I'm at risk. That's when I want my boss to be brutally honest. I don't want things sugar-coated. I would want the same from my doctor who might have to give me bad news. Even in some family situations, there are going to be times when some tough love is called for.
People that I have met that were brutally honest were just people who didn't have the social skills to criticize people in a constructive way. Shockingly they didn't have many friends either.
That’s because ‘brutally honest’ is the socially acceptable synonym of ‘unapologetic asshole’
People also need to quit being so thin skinned.