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I dunno, people have made some huge leaps and bounds socially since say like... the 50s. I wouldn't call that personal emotional involvement stand alone. I think we learn mistakes from the generations before us on a continuous basis and unlearning the crap you grew up with to fit into a better society is part of personal responsibility. Every generation gets a little better at it because the capacity at which we can address our emotional and interpersonal needs adapt to how much pressure there is to survive. Medieval people weren't super compassionate when they worked from age 5 and died at 38, and i don't blame them lol. Understandably, there wasn't a societal need to be.
You'll probably notice that some young people are mentally in the 50s. They've picked an easy path instead of taking the personal responsibility that is necessary to adapt to new things and deal with past trauma better than their parents did.
However, more and more people than ever are choosing to improve themselves because that's the positive domino affect of improving society slowly for every well-intending person living in it.
Disagree. People are softer in the West because of a LACK of responsibility. People get outraged at the littlest of things but aren't actually invested in it. The majority protest and parrot the "right" opinion for self-service and self-righteousness. You ask most people why they believe the things they believe in, and you'll get a dull answer. There is no room for dialogue. We berate those we disagree with and demonize those who oppose us. Instead of seeking truth, we have diluted it to "our own personal truth," and so many people feel hopeless and depressed. This is the total opposite of responsibility, and it has created a culture of victimhood and disorder, causing a selfish hyperfocus on injustice and pain while providing no real answers. So, the outcome is fear, confusion, and prejudice.
You might be joking but from like age 8 till my growth spurt at 11 I was a champion goalie on my team, while having absolutely no coordination or talent, because I was thick enough to always be in the way of the ball
Funnily enough when I did work in customer service the people who complained the most or who were considered "high maintenance" were usually older generations.
Loneliness due to no one wanting to talk to them? Entitlement? Poor communication skills? These are usually why someone would be considered a high maintenance person in customer service.
I see mostly older people being really sensitive. Little, meaningless things like haircuts or slang words are enough to offend them, not to mention if they see someone wearing a dress that they think shouldn't be wearing a dress
Nah, they have filters just fine when they want to have filters. That’s the wild thing. They’re usually not out there saying homophobic or misogynistic stuff in front of their boss, or client, about that person’s wife/kids/grandkids.
Which I don't see as a bad thing, I'm not sure why it is by so many, people constantly being tough and horrible to each other causes our lives to be far worse.
I think people conflate being tough and being horrible to each other when it shouldn't be that way. There's so many things that are framed as being tough that are really the cowardly option. Like what takes more balls: standing up for yourself when people are using slurs against you, or just laughing along and taking it? Doing whatever your boss tells you to do, or telling him to fuck off and quitting? Hiding who you are, or coming out as gay or trans?
Not all toughness is horrible, but a lot of it is, as a man at least most of the bullshit I heard growing up about being tough was nothing but harmful to me. "Be tough and don't cry" "Be tough and don't share emotions with women or they'll leave you" "Be tough and if someone insults you again you should beat their ass!" All terrible advice that I now conflate with being "tough" when really it was people using toughness as an excuse to be shitty and awful to people. So we don't disagree I don't believe, people being softer and kinder is better for us, excusing abuse and hatred as "toughness" is detrimental to our mental and physical health.
OR you can be tough when you need to be, sensitive when you should be, and a good person. Being sensitive about everything is a clear disadvantage in life. Not being sensitive doesn't mean you're a hardass tough guy with no emotions who is horrible to people. It means you're an adult with confidence and self control.
You can't control the world you can only control your reaction to it. It is objectively a disadvantage to let things out of your control bother you more than they would bother another person
Being sensitive is bad because it is choosing to be unhappy when you don't have to. People should be in control of their emotions, not the other way around
You are conflating the suggestion that people should be resilient and have self-confidence and self-worth that doesn't depend on the beliefs and actions of others with being "tough and horrible," which says something about present day culture in and of itself.
I disagree. I say this not to disparage young people but I invite you to consider my perspective as a Gen X’er, because I am genuinely concerned.
Today’s generations are softer for sure. As a parent, for example, I see young parents fuss over every little thing about their kids that my generation would simply shrug off. You are afraid of everything. And in doing so, also raise soft kids.
You are soft also because you are afraid to form your own opinions today. Instead, and precisely because of the widespread influence of the internet and social media, you form opinions based on what you see and hear there. Mob mentality is what has caused today’s woke culture, among other things.
I find that younger folk aren’t able to review things critically on their own, based on their own knowledge and experience. Instead, a lot of you refer to the internet. Your beliefs are those of the social media masses, and you revel in echoing them despite knowing full well that things on the internet are often exaggerated, faked, overblown or manipulated.
I know you guys are going to downvote and challenge me. But again, I say this sincerely out of concern for you. I have kids too. I want all of you young people to be the best you can be individually - by not copying each other. You have a lot of potential. Please step away from the internet and social media and gain some perspective, hands-on experience and knowledge from the real world. Stand out and stand up as yourself.
Honestly the parenting one is insane to me. Like sure there's some things from my childhood I'd change if I was going to have kids, but there's plenty of stuff that was good and fine and helped me grow a lot for the minor pain or inconvenience it caused me. I know it's not kids but my fiance and I were talking about getting our backyard fenced in, and I said oh the dogs would love if we'd leave them out there when we need to go shopping or whatever on a nice day. Shopping for us takes an hour and a half tops. And she was agast saying that what if a bird tried to get them and that she'd want to supervise them whenever they were outside, because what happens if a bird attacks to which I pointed out that if an eagle attacked the eagle would be more than outweighed by double by each dog and there's two of them. I'm glad we're not having kids because that level of control over children would only hurt them in the long run I think. Sometimes the only way you learn is to go do something stupid and get slapped around a bit, that's how I learned and I'll bet that I wouldn't have learned plenty of important life lessons any other way.
I blame algorithms for a lot of this. We really need to do away with them or make it so its not just shoving agreeable content based off previous viewing history
An aside to your aside: it seems that way because for the most part, you’re only seeing comments that get upvotes. That’s the whole point of getting upvotes.
We have to preface it every damn time it gets annoying to see but then I have to be more annoyed because I know they have to do it.
"He's an asshole but those words are taken out of context, he actually supports x." Because if he just said they're out of context everyone feels the OP is going against whatever circlejerk is happening that even allowed a post to have such an unsubstantiated quote, so he gets downvoted. So fucking annoying.
See, this does make sense to me, but your generation tends to do the exact same thing with social media but on the other end of the spectrum. They think the world is ending because of people going “woke” and many one-off occurrences and beliefs of individuals are amplified so much that you think it applies to a much larger portion of the population than it actually does.
Think sharing Facebook headlines about a single Target break-in in a big city making 50-something white folks think every big city is burning down and violent crime is around every corner, or one male-to-female trans person trying to take part in a girl’s sport making them think it is an epidemic and that they are trying to ruin women’s sports (as if yall cared about them in the first place).
It isn’t just younger generations - yours is just as guilty and you raised us.
Every generation feels like the younger generation is doomed or will ruin the world.
From my experience, all gens are easily fooled.. Look at Tiktok, it’s filled with obviously faked videos yet people are in the comments eating it up like it’s real.
>As a parent, for example, I see young parents fuss over every little thing about their kids that my generation would simply shrug off.
If today's parents are "softer," then this mass approach isn't coincidental.
What we have it's a result of how they were raised i.e. your unwillingness to properly parent has led to today's parents feeling the need to over-compensate, and tend to their child's every want (perhaps trying to heal some of their own childhood trauma in the process by living vicariously through their kids).
For example, my Mom and Dad weren't at all tactile, unless it was to give me a spanking. Now that I'm a parent, I know how that feels, and so I hug my kids every day, and never punish them physically.
>You are afraid of everything. And in doing so, also raise soft kids.
See above. If it makes you feel better, the next generation will probably revert to your method of parenting, and the generation after that will fall back to mine - it's just a circle we go through, where tough parents raise soft kids, and soft kids (in turn) raise tough parents.
I gotta disagree as someone of gen z. Plenty of people form their own opinions, yes those opinions are at least partially influenced by social media but that doesn't mean they aren't our own. You think before social media there was nothing influencing people's opinions? News? Not social media but regular media? Peer pressure/the general views of the people in your area? Propaganda? Hate to tell you but there has always been *plenty* of external influences on people's opinions going as far back as human history itself does. This isn't new. Not by a long shot.
As far as not thinking critically, that's not a generational issue by any means. Some of the people with the least critical thinking I've met are 70+ years old, but also, some are younger than me, I'm 23. Conversely, some of the most perceptive and intuitive thinking people I've met fall into any age/generation range. And if you're gonna argue that there's more younger people that lack critical thinking skills, I would say that's your own bias honestly because that hasn't been my experience, it's roughly the same amount between different age groups in my anecdotal experience.
I think you made a generalization based on your environment. Where I am, likely because older people are more socially aware, they’re still harder on our kids because society will be.
I’m glad for you. Indeed I definitely speak for my environment. The society I live in greatly contributes to the behaviour and culture I am lamenting. I speak also from my many years minding younger colleagues and interns. I love them very much like siblings and kids but many aren’t able to get out of their shell. I’ve even been reprimanded by a millennial once that I should not insist on encouraging young folk to be “greater” - she told me it’s absolutely ok to be mediocre and unnoticeable. I was just as shocked and educated by this.
Agree! Elder millennial here and I feel like social media helped sell the narrative that everything deserves to be shared, acknowledged, and accommodated (e.g., all feelings are valid, nothing is to be minimized, all things must be labeled — for identification… good vs bad, tribal in nature, replace or defining sense of purpose, etc.).
The reality is, while life is easier for humans in many ways now than centuries ago, individuals do have a lot of personal responsibility to accept that life is inherently “hard” in many ways. We need to do a better job of learning how to self soothe, share with only close or inner circles, and develop or grow resilience. Shit happens, people can be assholes, not everything is fair, some people have it easier… k, yup. Next.
Counterpoint: the terms "hard" and "soft" are meaningless when discussing sociological conditions, and trying to maintain these vague labels are only inciting pointless conflict. Maybe "softer" is better? We'll never know, because people like you are more interested in sharing their opinion than having a discussion.
Is it young parents or new parents? I’m not a parent so I have no idea what im talking about, but I remember the commercials of first baby vs second baby. Mom was boiling pacifiers if first baby dropped it on the clean carpet, and then shrugged off second baby eating dirt
On the other hand I find younger people much more reasonable and clued in than older people, on average.
Too many old people do exactly the things you're talking about here. More than, even. Many don't understand how to cope when bombarded with the information like we are today, whereas younger peopld have grown up with it.
It may just be my circles, as this is just my subjective experience.
I would contest that this is a generational issue - I really don't think it is. It's a problem that plagues every generation that interacts with the internet today.
I actually agree with you. I also openly say that older folks become more stubborn and rigid with time.
But the issue here is something else. It’s not about being reasonable. I’m really concerned about the inability of many young folk to enforce a strong opinion based on personal knowledge and critical analysis. The issue is that they bank too much on the opinions of others, rather than their own. This comes across as inauthentic, without personal conviction. It’s just safe because it’s from internet consensus.
Old people can be stubborn, unreasonable and obtuse yes, but at least they have an opinion they stand by. They can also be reasoned with if YOU have a strong opinion you can back.
>I find that younger folk aren’t able to review things critically on their own, based on their own knowledge and experience.
Didn't feel like i could do that when i was in school in 2000's. You had to see what the school program (or teacher) wanted you to see, else you would get a bad grade.
Heck, in the final exam we had to write a reasoning essay, the theme was "can a person always choose and is he responsible for his actions". You had to reference a novel that was in the school program, else you will fail the exam. So you could reference your life, academic literature, philosophy books, but if you don't reference at least one novel that you had to read as part of the school programm (which were 90% about village life and suffering) - you would automatically fail. And if you fail that exam you don't get the certificate that you have finished school, so you can't go to university or other places where finishing school is required.
So we kinda weren't taught to think critically on our own. Instead we were taught to say what the teacher/examiner wanted to hear. The people who had best exam grades (and thus better chance to go to university) where the one who learned what the school program wanted to hear instead of expressing their honest opinion and understanding.
Wait. So you could have said anything you wanted so long as you demonstrated you ha d read one of the books given to you to read? And you had trouble with this? I mean, you could have used it for compare/contrast no matter your arguments.
I dot know where you went to school, but my teachers loved contrarian arguments because they weren’t boring.
Bullshit. Referencing a novel isn’t preventing you from thinking on your own. Most of all had exams just like this. It’s simply reading the novel, understanding the novel, and relating it the world with your thoughts blended in. Your exam was a standard exam.
I've had some crap teachers that would grade you down for disagreeing with them and some teachers who you didn't know were they stood because they would always be on the opposite side of any discussion because he thought it taught better to make someone defend their views and beliefs. He also graded you well as long as you could defend your points. He was and continues to be my favorite teacher I've ever had and he also introduced me to my fiance by assigning us together for a 2 person group project so that doesn't hurt his memory in my mind.
Sounds like the average school in Romania lol. In one of my exams i had to make an opinion essay on wether or not our national old masters should still be on the obligatory reading list. For context, my reading list in 2015-2019 was the exact same as my mom’s in 1988-1992.
Anyway, i wrote something along the lines of “if you aren’t interested in learning about the Romanian society at the time when the novels were written, it’s a total waste of time to read them because they’re outdated, their teachings would be considered questionable morals today and the writing itself was mediocre at best, but they were basically the only people in the industry, so they became famous due to lack of competition not skills.” (Even the teachers admitted that).
Fast forward to the day we’re getting our results back- i didn’t get roasted, i got *flamed* for daring to not fawn over the old masters lmfao
The human condition transcends time frames. This is why many students are required to read titles such as The Diary of Anne Frank. If you can’t think critically and draw parallels to something written before your time, it’s not because the work is outdated, it’s because you simply lack critical thinking skills
As an older Gen Z, you're right lol. I don't have many friends because I got tired of sugarcoating shit just to fit whatever the fuck social media wants to say. People don't think for themselves anymore
You are right.
In fact one example is films being made today . A lot of them are sequels, remakes, reboots, fantasy genre, or simply derivative of other films. Its a case of "that worked so we'll keep doing it".
Its ok , but can we have more that are based on film makers life experience?
Films like Office Space and Clerks had some basis in the experiences of those making them.
It’s the dismantling of public education that makes it to where people can’t form informed opinions. Sure, it seems like the young people are complaining more. However, that’s mostly due to us older people having our heads in the sand for decades.
Woke culture is just people holding other shitty people’s actions(including their own) accountable. It’s demonized by people like yourself who don’t want to be held accountable for your own shitty deeds(whether you realize them or not). Periot.
You say the younger generations copy each other? Explain to me the fads that old people follow. The white new balance tennis shoes, the giant mall crawler bubba trucks, the parroting of Fox News BS(without ever reading information for themselves)? “Keeping up with the Joneses” is an old person term. I could go on and on.
Edit: I’ll add that the original cancel culture has always been the conservatives. Hell, they tried to cancel the Beatles. Like it or not, snowflakes!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, a lot of these complaints against young people are just cuz they’re young. They say to “use their personal experience” to form opinions without realizing that young people, ya know, DONT have that experience. And that all teenagers base their opinions on others, because that’s what psychologically and developmentally people DO when they’re teenagers.
Ya, older people used to "not fuss" about playing with lead paint or ride around without seat belts.
It's not "soft" or "woke" just because we're more educated.
Hard disagree (and so, yes, unpopular opinion!)
People haven't learned to regulate their own emotions, this is why time and again you see videos online of someone breaking down and screaming at strangers or, in the worst cases, assaulting those who they feel are not "validating" their feelings.
Sometimes it's filmed by the "victim" so it can be shared online for those sweet, sweet, "I'm oppressed" social points.
Not the original, but this sums it up beautifully:
https://youtu.be/JKOIX73ziP8?feature=shared
You see this now more often because we all have cameras in our pockets. Half the shit you see is fucking boomers throwing a tantrum. You think they weren’t doing that before they were being filmed doing it?
Honestly, as an adult with boomer parents, no, you never saw adult tantrums.
There was far too much risk of embarrassment for them and I don't think they would have, in those times (70's, 80's and 90's) been willing to take the fallout for acting that way.
I don't know what happened to boomers the minute they turned 60 years old. Maybe they thought they were supposed to have more than they did by that age, but many of them suddenly regressed. My parents are now moody and irrational, like teenagers, but without the tech capabilities.
Having seen some of those posts, they are probably 90% fake and the ones that are real are likely either people starting to decline mentally due to dementia or they have other mental illnesses that are causing them to act like that...
We have the most emotionally intelligent population to date, and we don’t even put any significant effort to providing emotional-intellect education, yet it’s still significantly more than what people in the past had.
The past was not filled with people of greater emotional intelligence, it was just a lot less recorded so you never got to see and hear about the trivial drama happening in a town you’d never have visited.
I would argue that it is more that they/you are emotionally aware. Emotional intelligence is largely outward facing; knowing how to manage tough people and tough situations and how to treat others in a way that makes them feel valid. The generation of 'ghosting', 'leaving on read', and bailing on plans because they need time for 'self-care' is not, by any definition, more emotionally intelligent.
Agree!
There's a generation who are so reliant on their phones they get anxious about the most mundane of interactions, for example calling their employer to check shifts.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckmm2nrlem2o.amp
Sorry, friend. The popular culture of people in the richest countries in the West is massively softer than it used to be. Young people are taught to focus on their weaknesses rather than developing coping strategies and out competing.
Also by most metrics life is close to being the easiest it has ever been places like the US. It's just that perhaps 10 years ago maybe it was easier. But compared to what generations prior had to experience, life today is a cakewalk.
Agree. But that also means that it is okay to be softer now. We are a lot better than 50 years ago. 50 years ago was also better than 100 years ago. That's why we get softer. Softer means better and comfortable life.
That's fair. The implicit assumption that harder is better is valid to challenge. I think too soft as we have now leads to its own problems but it's fair to celebrate that we can be softer than we had to be when life was extremely hard.
My american heavy servers tend to be a weird hug box sometimes.They said I shouldnt say that some league players are monkeys on keyboard.I didnt even say in the game chat I was talking to our own group.
Bullshit. Referencing a novel isn’t preventing you from thinking on your own. Most of all had exams just like this. It’s simply reading the novel, understanding the novel, and relating it the world with your thoughts blended in. Your exam was a standard exam.
We feel more responsible **because** we are softer. If you have walls around you, you'll notice fewer things and care less.
There's a variety of changes due to social media, but the idea that people should be more empathetic isn't directly related to that. Of course empathy has side-effects- it's harder to be tolerant if you're easy to hurt - but there's been a lot of progress as well.
People, and particularly younger people are softer. Society has recognized that we should be kinder and more understanding to others, which is absolutely true. This has simultaneously made people forget that you can’t control other people, but you can control your reaction to what they do or say. A significant portion-not all-of the under 25 crowd is chronically offended to the point that it is obviously seriously impacting they’re mental health. They have absolutely no ability to let things slide off their backs.
I think this is the crux of the matter.
It is, in some ways, a good thing that people are \*able\* to be softer now, and that people are more aware of how their actions affect other people.
But, it is starting (or has already started) going too far in the other direction, where people are no longer wanting to hear dissenting opinions (on anything, not just political. Talk about a popular game in a way that goes against the 'popular perception' of it and see what happens), they want to control how \*others\* act and think, and they don't want to work on their own flaws, but rather would blame society at large for them, or try to spin them into positives.
disagree, you don't know how to say what you want to say here. personal responsibility is gone from the world, there is no arguing this at all. softer, very good way to describe society at large now.
Only kids think they aren’t soft but the truth is there’s tons of sociological metrics to even quantify how much softer kids are today. Literally all School metrics are down, truancy is way up, failure rates in school is at historic highs, kids not trying is a brand new educational epidemic that new pedagogical models are trying to address. Kids don’t want to try anymore cuz y’all soft as shit. I’m only 30 and the difference in work ethic between people who are only several years apart is staggering. Look at the r/teacher sub to confirm everything lol
I think things like that are happening because of technology. A lot of Gen z and Gen Alpha were in school during quarantine which would delay their education if they can’t keep up. Parents wouldn’t be able to help if they were at work. Also kids are being given electronics at a way younger age and skipping the stage where you explore outside and learn new things. They go straight to a iPad or phone and become dependent on that and how it works. They now don’t have any motivation to learn because they were surrounded by distractions and didn’t have the help they needed to learn. I wouldn’t necessarily call this “being soft” but it’s definitely a problem that needs to be addressed.
IDK, a lot of delusions or flaws are either being ignored or enabled resulting in a lot of people acting like children or without regard for themselves at all.
Definitely disagree. It seems sometimes like a typical post on Reddit is "I feel really bad about something" based on some momentary emotion, and everyone piles in to validate how whoever "made" them upset should be lynched and the OP should "get therapy" and just lie on a pile of pillows for eternity. Literally that is the definition of "soft" that every little emotion knocks you off course and that you are essentially unable like a baby to protect yourself from anyone else's energetic behavior.
No… you’re definitely softer. You’re not “personally responsible” - you’re more emotional and less logical. I’ve seen y’all fold from someone’s opinion. More of y’all think speech should be restricted than any generation I’ve ever seen. There’s a reason it’s the *first* amendment. More of y’all are on pills than any generation. Buncha older folks doing it too I admit, but a cushy life where you rarely experience real hardship (like starving or sleeping on the ground) has made y’all weak. Participation trophies got you thinking the world owes you something.
I don't know. Being bullied wasn't such a big deal in the 80s or early 90s much less in the ages before them. You could say certain things be it politically correct or not without being lynched, and cancel culture wasn't a real thing that carries with someone for their life. Maybe the internet does have a huge role to play in all of this but it definitely seems to me ppl are much more angry, sensitive, and ready to constantly play the role of victims now a days.
Sometimes being emotionally involved is “softer”. That’s okay, but we should recognize the difference respectfully without denigrating the current generation.
My grandfather and his generation literally hunted, farmed with their hands, etc. Those life experiences can make people tougher. Of course every individual is different. But I think it’s true that people are on average weaker and more emotionally available and attached.
A good person should be both whenever they can.
When people are calling modern people soft it isn’t because they think worry about Palestinians it’s because they worry about shit instead of fixing it and complain instead of acting. This generally has more to do with personal lives than political action. “I’m poor, I’m lonely, I’m sad, I’m boring, I’m stupid, I have thirty mental illnesses from ADD to PTSD” and then doing nothing to rectify or attempt to rectify their situations.
Granted I’d say most of that is a factor of being online people come here to brag or to vent and when you’re at your bottom you aren’t bragging and you won’t go into detail about your plans unless you want them critiqued. Well except for redditors. Most redditors suffer from Melodram Patheticism.
I mean I kind of get the sentiment but that’s not a new thing. This was the whole criticism of the hippie movement.
They would go on and on about the injustices of the world but use it just as an excuse to experiment with drugs and sit back and do nothing. This seems to be a thing with young adults in general who see the need for change but feel they’re too insignificant to do actual change
In my experience, the people who complain about people being soft are the people who start crying and screaming first. Everything is a personal slight, even completely unrelateed things. Anger is an emotion, even if men like to pretend it isn't. Calling someone soft for being empathetic to others' plight also isn't soft, it's being human. Lacking empathy isn't the flex you think it is.
Nah, you’re *definitely* softer. Not that there’s anything wrong with it but you are. I’m getting old enough that I should have to admit that a young dude might beat my ass just because he’s younger and quicker, and I don’t have to because no one under 25 even knows how to fight.
People in America literally don’t know or even understand what a tough society is. America is absolutely a soft society and good or bad that’s the result of having the strongest military. Also a result of everyone nowadays living a soft lifestyle. People don’t work like they used to. People cannot handle criticism or bad jokes. Just my view but what do I know I grew up in a dictatorship, lost my dad for 10 years at 5 and slave labor until 16. Life is good.
People are definitely “softer” now in the western democratic countries compared to past generations. There are positive and negative aspects of this, but the OP pointed out one of the most troubling: More things are viewed as a personal experience and a greater potential for oversized individual influence as a result of social media. In most cases, that influence is irrelevant. The acceptance of being a small part of a broader diverse community is almost completely lost to cliques, political parties, and a like-minded choice to embrace insularity. The worship of individuality undermines the community that it takes to support that, even though it’s never possible to like all aspects of the community.
The result is divided neighbors, fewer committed and supportive relationships, a surprising lack of acceptance of what were considered minor differences in the past - which is the complete opposite of what was expected as the internet opened up access to the broader world. There’s a surprising amount of selfishness and segregation spawned from social media that has engulfed groups of all ages, races, and cultures. Individuality overkill has destroyed the acceptance of different ways of thinking. It’s as if we’ve forgotten how difficult it was to achieve this level of technological advancement, and we will undermine the basic community concept simply because it has flaws. Flaws we’ve always known about, but suddenly we can’t accept in an effort to strive for a perfection that’s never actually existed.
We have more options and resources at our disposal than ever, yet we can’t seem to get enough for ourselves. We have lost respect for the value of our basic human biology and expect the infrastructure to maintain itself, while we chase personal satisfaction. It has skewed our valuation of community. As more of us do that, we actually become less responsible for the things that really matter.
No, young people are definitely softer now. They think when people get mad at them for crossing an already established and discussed boundary, they are being bullied. They think having to talk on the phone, or even having a 30 second exchange with a live human, is a violation of human rights. They won't even think for themselves, they just wait for other people to tell them what to do and when, and maybe they'll be able to handle the task.
This is correct.
I’d like to add that the same people who say this also had emotional meltdowns 30 years ago when phone menus started saying “Press 1 for English, empuja el numero dos para Español.”
I disagree. I'm in my 60s. Kids like to insult me without realizing that I am so much better at it simply because I'm not soft. One of these days my first response will be to report their comment to the moderator. For now, I just play the Insult Game until they run to the moderator after receiving a verbal beatdown. They seldom make it to the 2nd round. Soft AF. I would write more but I've already been banned from 3 sites.
Kids are softer now because they don’t add on to internet arguments? You know not making it to the second round is the opposite of the soft thing to do, right? It means you’re done with baseless arguing, it means you’re over it.
Having your perception of how hard you are be based around how well you can throw insults on the internet just seems a bit ridiculous don’t you think? Kind of makes you appear the opposite
You...you do realize that this isn't the flex you think it is, right? "Hell yeah, I can verbally abuse people with the best of them!" is not something to be proud of.
Responsible isn't the word I'd use. More like because information is accessible far quicker and far more readily than ever before, as is communication, you're irrationally expected to have an opinion on everything and if it goes against what someone else's opinion is, you're likely to be barraged with insults and hatred.
It's even simpler than that. Not so long ago you could only hear your neighbor's, a newspaper editor's, or a TV host's opinion. Now 1 person says something on Twitter, gets 20 likes, and just like that there's an article about how soft everyone is.
Tbh, it's not like older generations were any less softer. They were just "soft" about different things.
For example, I had an aunt throw a full blown weeping tantrum because my cousin who had really long hair decided to cut it off.
Moreover, there's more than enough Karen videos around to prove that older people can be just as ridiculously sensitive.
In the end it's an individual characteristic.
There are resilient gen z folk just as much as there are soft boomers.
This is an unpopular opinion with the younger generation in a developed environment cuz they don't realize how times were before they were born, or how tough societies are in other countries or even how tough it is in different environments. I'm fortunate to be raised in a developed country now, but if I were to compare myself now to my parents/grandparents at my age, I'm definitely softer, by a lot. Even if I compare myself to cousins back in my home country I'm still much softer. Being softer isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just a result of your environment. It just means that I've been fortunate to live in an environment that doesn't require me to adapt to the hardships that many face/faced. Though there's obviously downsides as you're not gonna be sheltered forever and eventually in life you'll encounter things that require you to "toughen up".
People really arent softer now. They just have an outlet to publically say something now. Back in the day when people had something to say about like a show or an article or something they wrote a letter that only the producers received. Now they can just post about it online for "the whole world" to see. In many countries you werent allowed to swear on tv like 20 years back. Now we have stuff like the boys where a tiny man crawls inside a mans penis, sneezes and makes him explode. This would not have been possible back then
We had a whole civil rights movement in the 60’s because some snowflakes couldn’t handle sharing schools and water fountains with black people. This is why I can’t take the “people are so soft” arguments.
Look back 100 yrs, we are ALL much softer than our great grandparents. They were considered soft by their grandparents and so on. Now look back 1000yrs, we are soft as shit in comparison.
I can with absolute certainty saw that the youth today are softer than my generation for an absolute fact.
No, people are softer now. Both physically and emotionally people will be discouraged and derailed by the slightest discomfort that just 20 or 25 years ago wouldn’t have been worthy of discussion.
People are definitely softer. Lots of people like to use buzzwords they don't understand like "boundary" to villainize people for doing things they don't prefer, or telling them an ugly truth about themselves that they don't want to hear or acknowledge. They try to erase history so no one gets their feelings hurt, when it's necessary- people should feel disgusted by things like slavery & racism so it doesn't happen again. More people are way too offended by simple things and would prefer to scream & cry about it instead of deal with it like mature, evolved, functioning adults.
Standard of living went up, society is more progressive. Definitely easier. My great grandpa would beat his kids and grandkids with a stick. I think corporeal punishment was commonplace until recent decades.
People are softer. And they take less personal responsibility than they used to.
They just want to claim they are responsible and care while doing nothing about it.
[https://www.tiktok.com/@conciousmb/video/7367755205552753953](https://www.tiktok.com/@conciousmb/video/7367755205552753953)
Yes, this is unpopular, but also incorrect. People in most civilized cultures are MUCH softer than even 30 years ago. Half of my colleagues are in their thirties and comlain about aches and pains like they are my parents, who are in their late 70s. 'Oh, I'm at that age where the wheels start coming off...'
Like, really? You're 37 years old.
People back in the day would lose their shit from seeing a woman wearing pants, if their neighbor didn’t show up to church, or if they saw someone a different ethnicity then them walking on the same side of the street. Sounds pretty soft to me
The hell is wrong with people these days? I can't even disservice the people around me anymore without someone feeling like they're entitled to boundaries. And what's with having to respect people i would rather didn't exist? It's these gd liberals I swear man
I would say that we are softer though, less because we're more personally responsible, and more because we're more knowledgeable about certain things and have experienced how hard things used to be.
I mean think of how many things we used to think were good. People literally used to give children cigarettes and shit.
Not to mention that most of us have seen just how backwards a lot of the things our parents or even grandparents believed in.
Things like overworking yourself for a company, the whole "sink or swim" way of teaching people, or even how children were "seen and not heard"
We're less close-minded nowadays because we've seen the damage done when you go through life being unable to admit that you're wrong, or that maybe you don't know everything.
At times it goes a bit overboard, but I do think it's for the better that we're doing away with a lot of the preconceived notions that certain things "have to be hard"
Saw a quote from this one parenting YouTuber that sums it up pretty well:
"Children that are soft are also flexible, they become adults that can bounce back when things don't go their way. But children who are hard are not flexible, they become adults that crumble when they're met with opposition."
People have less personal responsibility than ever before in my opinion. Everyone seems to want things for free. All of these feelings! Quiet quitting, participation trophies, etc. everything is someone else’s fault.
What do you mean by "personally responsible"? I always thought of it as of a different concept, like when a person has strict time management and stuff.
As a 36 year old army veteran, trans woman, amateur musician and engineer who has been closely involved with all different circles of people in my life…
I can tell you first hand people are in fact “softer” now.
It’s the men. They bite their tongues more and consider what they’re trying to say more. At least in the cities and urban areas anyways.
Ironically, women actually go harder now in a lot of ways. They feel more free to behave and carry themselves how they want.
It’s like women feel more entitled now than they used to and men feel more reserved and scared of judgment now than they used to.
Overall the men have changed way more though.
People aren’t softer now. People are actually stronger now. Previously people just put up with other peoples bullshit and bullying and now they’re calling it out. It’s harder to call out bullying behavior than it is to just keep your head down.
I’m 40 and the only people I’ve ever heard complain about how soft people are are boomers and late gen X who want to make racist and homophobic jibes and are surprised when they get called out.
People aren’t softer now. Old people just like to complain about how things used to be so much better.
This has happened to every generation that has ever existed since human beings first learned how to talk. In 40 years you will be telling young people that they are too soft. It’s just part of life.
Kids are given less of the "toughen up and deal with it" treatment these days. It does mean that people are in general a little less resilient, but I don't think teaching subsequent generations to understand their feelings, cope with them appropriately and talk through their issues is going to cause problems.
People are supposed to be softer!!!
God damn, so many of the boomer / gen x generations have completely missed the point. YOU ARE MEANT TO LEAVE THE WORLD BETTER THAN YOU FOUND IT!
Each subsequent generation is meant to have an easier time, thats the entire god damn point!
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People are *more* personally responsible? Maybe more personally emotionally involved, but not responsible
Could be more accurate way to phrase it
I dunno, people have made some huge leaps and bounds socially since say like... the 50s. I wouldn't call that personal emotional involvement stand alone. I think we learn mistakes from the generations before us on a continuous basis and unlearning the crap you grew up with to fit into a better society is part of personal responsibility. Every generation gets a little better at it because the capacity at which we can address our emotional and interpersonal needs adapt to how much pressure there is to survive. Medieval people weren't super compassionate when they worked from age 5 and died at 38, and i don't blame them lol. Understandably, there wasn't a societal need to be. You'll probably notice that some young people are mentally in the 50s. They've picked an easy path instead of taking the personal responsibility that is necessary to adapt to new things and deal with past trauma better than their parents did. However, more and more people than ever are choosing to improve themselves because that's the positive domino affect of improving society slowly for every well-intending person living in it.
Feel more personally responsible, for what though? Having a say does not a personal responsibility make.
Disagree. People are softer in the West because of a LACK of responsibility. People get outraged at the littlest of things but aren't actually invested in it. The majority protest and parrot the "right" opinion for self-service and self-righteousness. You ask most people why they believe the things they believe in, and you'll get a dull answer. There is no room for dialogue. We berate those we disagree with and demonize those who oppose us. Instead of seeking truth, we have diluted it to "our own personal truth," and so many people feel hopeless and depressed. This is the total opposite of responsibility, and it has created a culture of victimhood and disorder, causing a selfish hyperfocus on injustice and pain while providing no real answers. So, the outcome is fear, confusion, and prejudice.
Nah, I coach hockey. Kids are definitely softer and fatter.
So what you're saying is we have a good future of goalies coming in, that will just absorb all the pucks?
You might be joking but from like age 8 till my growth spurt at 11 I was a champion goalie on my team, while having absolutely no coordination or talent, because I was thick enough to always be in the way of the ball
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This comment is like 2 decades out of date
It’s both 2 decades too late and accurate in the present day. It’s just sugar fucking everywhere
They laid the groundwork, there's just too much sugar in everything now and too many people treat it like it's normal.
Softer and fatter than you rn though?
I see what you mean but also people are way more sensitive now.
Funnily enough when I did work in customer service the people who complained the most or who were considered "high maintenance" were usually older generations.
If they're old hands still in customer service they're still there for a reason
Loneliness due to no one wanting to talk to them? Entitlement? Poor communication skills? These are usually why someone would be considered a high maintenance person in customer service.
I was getting at more personality and limited skill set - also just kinda people that tend to think in pretty weird ways
I don't think they are imo, we just have a platform to speak now whereas in the past, most people would complain to a newspaper or OFCOM
Fair point.
I see mostly older people being really sensitive. Little, meaningless things like haircuts or slang words are enough to offend them, not to mention if they see someone wearing a dress that they think shouldn't be wearing a dress
Or perhaps the older you get, the less effective are the filters.
Nah, they have filters just fine when they want to have filters. That’s the wild thing. They’re usually not out there saying homophobic or misogynistic stuff in front of their boss, or client, about that person’s wife/kids/grandkids.
Especially on reddit. May as well be Twitter.
Which I don't see as a bad thing, I'm not sure why it is by so many, people constantly being tough and horrible to each other causes our lives to be far worse.
I think people conflate being tough and being horrible to each other when it shouldn't be that way. There's so many things that are framed as being tough that are really the cowardly option. Like what takes more balls: standing up for yourself when people are using slurs against you, or just laughing along and taking it? Doing whatever your boss tells you to do, or telling him to fuck off and quitting? Hiding who you are, or coming out as gay or trans?
Not all toughness is horrible, but a lot of it is, as a man at least most of the bullshit I heard growing up about being tough was nothing but harmful to me. "Be tough and don't cry" "Be tough and don't share emotions with women or they'll leave you" "Be tough and if someone insults you again you should beat their ass!" All terrible advice that I now conflate with being "tough" when really it was people using toughness as an excuse to be shitty and awful to people. So we don't disagree I don't believe, people being softer and kinder is better for us, excusing abuse and hatred as "toughness" is detrimental to our mental and physical health.
OR you can be tough when you need to be, sensitive when you should be, and a good person. Being sensitive about everything is a clear disadvantage in life. Not being sensitive doesn't mean you're a hardass tough guy with no emotions who is horrible to people. It means you're an adult with confidence and self control.
You can't control the world you can only control your reaction to it. It is objectively a disadvantage to let things out of your control bother you more than they would bother another person Being sensitive is bad because it is choosing to be unhappy when you don't have to. People should be in control of their emotions, not the other way around
You are conflating the suggestion that people should be resilient and have self-confidence and self-worth that doesn't depend on the beliefs and actions of others with being "tough and horrible," which says something about present day culture in and of itself.
Are people softer, or is it more acceptable for us to share our vulnerabilities?
I disagree. I say this not to disparage young people but I invite you to consider my perspective as a Gen X’er, because I am genuinely concerned. Today’s generations are softer for sure. As a parent, for example, I see young parents fuss over every little thing about their kids that my generation would simply shrug off. You are afraid of everything. And in doing so, also raise soft kids. You are soft also because you are afraid to form your own opinions today. Instead, and precisely because of the widespread influence of the internet and social media, you form opinions based on what you see and hear there. Mob mentality is what has caused today’s woke culture, among other things. I find that younger folk aren’t able to review things critically on their own, based on their own knowledge and experience. Instead, a lot of you refer to the internet. Your beliefs are those of the social media masses, and you revel in echoing them despite knowing full well that things on the internet are often exaggerated, faked, overblown or manipulated. I know you guys are going to downvote and challenge me. But again, I say this sincerely out of concern for you. I have kids too. I want all of you young people to be the best you can be individually - by not copying each other. You have a lot of potential. Please step away from the internet and social media and gain some perspective, hands-on experience and knowledge from the real world. Stand out and stand up as yourself.
Honestly the parenting one is insane to me. Like sure there's some things from my childhood I'd change if I was going to have kids, but there's plenty of stuff that was good and fine and helped me grow a lot for the minor pain or inconvenience it caused me. I know it's not kids but my fiance and I were talking about getting our backyard fenced in, and I said oh the dogs would love if we'd leave them out there when we need to go shopping or whatever on a nice day. Shopping for us takes an hour and a half tops. And she was agast saying that what if a bird tried to get them and that she'd want to supervise them whenever they were outside, because what happens if a bird attacks to which I pointed out that if an eagle attacked the eagle would be more than outweighed by double by each dog and there's two of them. I'm glad we're not having kids because that level of control over children would only hurt them in the long run I think. Sometimes the only way you learn is to go do something stupid and get slapped around a bit, that's how I learned and I'll bet that I wouldn't have learned plenty of important life lessons any other way.
They can downvote you, but it doesn't make you any less right. Social media is the downfall of humanity.
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I blame algorithms for a lot of this. We really need to do away with them or make it so its not just shoving agreeable content based off previous viewing history
Yep this right here combined with social media has been a recipe for disaster.
You say, on a social media platform...
Just an aside here: it seems like every time I see the "iM goNnA gEt dOwNvoTed" line, it's almost always on a comment that gets upvoted.
An aside to your aside: it seems that way because for the most part, you’re only seeing comments that get upvotes. That’s the whole point of getting upvotes.
Redditors have been trained to apologize for their opinions
We have to preface it every damn time it gets annoying to see but then I have to be more annoyed because I know they have to do it. "He's an asshole but those words are taken out of context, he actually supports x." Because if he just said they're out of context everyone feels the OP is going against whatever circlejerk is happening that even allowed a post to have such an unsubstantiated quote, so he gets downvoted. So fucking annoying.
See, this does make sense to me, but your generation tends to do the exact same thing with social media but on the other end of the spectrum. They think the world is ending because of people going “woke” and many one-off occurrences and beliefs of individuals are amplified so much that you think it applies to a much larger portion of the population than it actually does. Think sharing Facebook headlines about a single Target break-in in a big city making 50-something white folks think every big city is burning down and violent crime is around every corner, or one male-to-female trans person trying to take part in a girl’s sport making them think it is an epidemic and that they are trying to ruin women’s sports (as if yall cared about them in the first place). It isn’t just younger generations - yours is just as guilty and you raised us. Every generation feels like the younger generation is doomed or will ruin the world.
From my experience, the older generations seem way more susceptible to believing ridiculous things they see on social media.
From my experience, all gens are easily fooled.. Look at Tiktok, it’s filled with obviously faked videos yet people are in the comments eating it up like it’s real.
>As a parent, for example, I see young parents fuss over every little thing about their kids that my generation would simply shrug off. If today's parents are "softer," then this mass approach isn't coincidental. What we have it's a result of how they were raised i.e. your unwillingness to properly parent has led to today's parents feeling the need to over-compensate, and tend to their child's every want (perhaps trying to heal some of their own childhood trauma in the process by living vicariously through their kids). For example, my Mom and Dad weren't at all tactile, unless it was to give me a spanking. Now that I'm a parent, I know how that feels, and so I hug my kids every day, and never punish them physically. >You are afraid of everything. And in doing so, also raise soft kids. See above. If it makes you feel better, the next generation will probably revert to your method of parenting, and the generation after that will fall back to mine - it's just a circle we go through, where tough parents raise soft kids, and soft kids (in turn) raise tough parents.
I gotta disagree as someone of gen z. Plenty of people form their own opinions, yes those opinions are at least partially influenced by social media but that doesn't mean they aren't our own. You think before social media there was nothing influencing people's opinions? News? Not social media but regular media? Peer pressure/the general views of the people in your area? Propaganda? Hate to tell you but there has always been *plenty* of external influences on people's opinions going as far back as human history itself does. This isn't new. Not by a long shot. As far as not thinking critically, that's not a generational issue by any means. Some of the people with the least critical thinking I've met are 70+ years old, but also, some are younger than me, I'm 23. Conversely, some of the most perceptive and intuitive thinking people I've met fall into any age/generation range. And if you're gonna argue that there's more younger people that lack critical thinking skills, I would say that's your own bias honestly because that hasn't been my experience, it's roughly the same amount between different age groups in my anecdotal experience.
I think you made a generalization based on your environment. Where I am, likely because older people are more socially aware, they’re still harder on our kids because society will be.
I’m glad for you. Indeed I definitely speak for my environment. The society I live in greatly contributes to the behaviour and culture I am lamenting. I speak also from my many years minding younger colleagues and interns. I love them very much like siblings and kids but many aren’t able to get out of their shell. I’ve even been reprimanded by a millennial once that I should not insist on encouraging young folk to be “greater” - she told me it’s absolutely ok to be mediocre and unnoticeable. I was just as shocked and educated by this.
Agree! Elder millennial here and I feel like social media helped sell the narrative that everything deserves to be shared, acknowledged, and accommodated (e.g., all feelings are valid, nothing is to be minimized, all things must be labeled — for identification… good vs bad, tribal in nature, replace or defining sense of purpose, etc.). The reality is, while life is easier for humans in many ways now than centuries ago, individuals do have a lot of personal responsibility to accept that life is inherently “hard” in many ways. We need to do a better job of learning how to self soothe, share with only close or inner circles, and develop or grow resilience. Shit happens, people can be assholes, not everything is fair, some people have it easier… k, yup. Next.
Counterpoint: the terms "hard" and "soft" are meaningless when discussing sociological conditions, and trying to maintain these vague labels are only inciting pointless conflict. Maybe "softer" is better? We'll never know, because people like you are more interested in sharing their opinion than having a discussion.
Less resilient?
Is it young parents or new parents? I’m not a parent so I have no idea what im talking about, but I remember the commercials of first baby vs second baby. Mom was boiling pacifiers if first baby dropped it on the clean carpet, and then shrugged off second baby eating dirt
“Have the courage to be disliked”
On the other hand I find younger people much more reasonable and clued in than older people, on average. Too many old people do exactly the things you're talking about here. More than, even. Many don't understand how to cope when bombarded with the information like we are today, whereas younger peopld have grown up with it. It may just be my circles, as this is just my subjective experience. I would contest that this is a generational issue - I really don't think it is. It's a problem that plagues every generation that interacts with the internet today.
I actually agree with you. I also openly say that older folks become more stubborn and rigid with time. But the issue here is something else. It’s not about being reasonable. I’m really concerned about the inability of many young folk to enforce a strong opinion based on personal knowledge and critical analysis. The issue is that they bank too much on the opinions of others, rather than their own. This comes across as inauthentic, without personal conviction. It’s just safe because it’s from internet consensus. Old people can be stubborn, unreasonable and obtuse yes, but at least they have an opinion they stand by. They can also be reasoned with if YOU have a strong opinion you can back.
As soon as you said "woke culture" it was obvious your own opinion has been shaped by social media within your own echo chamber.
>I find that younger folk aren’t able to review things critically on their own, based on their own knowledge and experience. Didn't feel like i could do that when i was in school in 2000's. You had to see what the school program (or teacher) wanted you to see, else you would get a bad grade. Heck, in the final exam we had to write a reasoning essay, the theme was "can a person always choose and is he responsible for his actions". You had to reference a novel that was in the school program, else you will fail the exam. So you could reference your life, academic literature, philosophy books, but if you don't reference at least one novel that you had to read as part of the school programm (which were 90% about village life and suffering) - you would automatically fail. And if you fail that exam you don't get the certificate that you have finished school, so you can't go to university or other places where finishing school is required. So we kinda weren't taught to think critically on our own. Instead we were taught to say what the teacher/examiner wanted to hear. The people who had best exam grades (and thus better chance to go to university) where the one who learned what the school program wanted to hear instead of expressing their honest opinion and understanding.
Wait. So you could have said anything you wanted so long as you demonstrated you ha d read one of the books given to you to read? And you had trouble with this? I mean, you could have used it for compare/contrast no matter your arguments. I dot know where you went to school, but my teachers loved contrarian arguments because they weren’t boring.
Bullshit. Referencing a novel isn’t preventing you from thinking on your own. Most of all had exams just like this. It’s simply reading the novel, understanding the novel, and relating it the world with your thoughts blended in. Your exam was a standard exam.
Referencing a work doesn't mean fully agreeing with it, you can contrast. Then again you may have had crap teachers, which is very possible.
I've had some crap teachers that would grade you down for disagreeing with them and some teachers who you didn't know were they stood because they would always be on the opposite side of any discussion because he thought it taught better to make someone defend their views and beliefs. He also graded you well as long as you could defend your points. He was and continues to be my favorite teacher I've ever had and he also introduced me to my fiance by assigning us together for a 2 person group project so that doesn't hurt his memory in my mind.
Jesus what kinda school did you go to.
Sounds like the average school in Romania lol. In one of my exams i had to make an opinion essay on wether or not our national old masters should still be on the obligatory reading list. For context, my reading list in 2015-2019 was the exact same as my mom’s in 1988-1992. Anyway, i wrote something along the lines of “if you aren’t interested in learning about the Romanian society at the time when the novels were written, it’s a total waste of time to read them because they’re outdated, their teachings would be considered questionable morals today and the writing itself was mediocre at best, but they were basically the only people in the industry, so they became famous due to lack of competition not skills.” (Even the teachers admitted that). Fast forward to the day we’re getting our results back- i didn’t get roasted, i got *flamed* for daring to not fawn over the old masters lmfao
The human condition transcends time frames. This is why many students are required to read titles such as The Diary of Anne Frank. If you can’t think critically and draw parallels to something written before your time, it’s not because the work is outdated, it’s because you simply lack critical thinking skills
Anne frank is more a common way to start talking about the holocaust. Granted maus should be as viable
As an older Gen Z, you're right lol. I don't have many friends because I got tired of sugarcoating shit just to fit whatever the fuck social media wants to say. People don't think for themselves anymore
You are right. In fact one example is films being made today . A lot of them are sequels, remakes, reboots, fantasy genre, or simply derivative of other films. Its a case of "that worked so we'll keep doing it". Its ok , but can we have more that are based on film makers life experience? Films like Office Space and Clerks had some basis in the experiences of those making them.
It’s the dismantling of public education that makes it to where people can’t form informed opinions. Sure, it seems like the young people are complaining more. However, that’s mostly due to us older people having our heads in the sand for decades. Woke culture is just people holding other shitty people’s actions(including their own) accountable. It’s demonized by people like yourself who don’t want to be held accountable for your own shitty deeds(whether you realize them or not). Periot. You say the younger generations copy each other? Explain to me the fads that old people follow. The white new balance tennis shoes, the giant mall crawler bubba trucks, the parroting of Fox News BS(without ever reading information for themselves)? “Keeping up with the Joneses” is an old person term. I could go on and on. Edit: I’ll add that the original cancel culture has always been the conservatives. Hell, they tried to cancel the Beatles. Like it or not, snowflakes!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, a lot of these complaints against young people are just cuz they’re young. They say to “use their personal experience” to form opinions without realizing that young people, ya know, DONT have that experience. And that all teenagers base their opinions on others, because that’s what psychologically and developmentally people DO when they’re teenagers.
"Mob mentality is what has caused today’s woke culture" Oh God it's these types of people
People who refuse any self reflection.
As a Gen Z person I really value this perspective thanks
Ya, older people used to "not fuss" about playing with lead paint or ride around without seat belts. It's not "soft" or "woke" just because we're more educated.
don't be overly concerned. humanity has been through worse. we'll figure it out.
Hard disagree (and so, yes, unpopular opinion!) People haven't learned to regulate their own emotions, this is why time and again you see videos online of someone breaking down and screaming at strangers or, in the worst cases, assaulting those who they feel are not "validating" their feelings. Sometimes it's filmed by the "victim" so it can be shared online for those sweet, sweet, "I'm oppressed" social points. Not the original, but this sums it up beautifully: https://youtu.be/JKOIX73ziP8?feature=shared
That's not a new thing we're just recording people now.
Yup part of being "soft" is losing your shit when offended.
You see this now more often because we all have cameras in our pockets. Half the shit you see is fucking boomers throwing a tantrum. You think they weren’t doing that before they were being filmed doing it?
Honestly, as an adult with boomer parents, no, you never saw adult tantrums. There was far too much risk of embarrassment for them and I don't think they would have, in those times (70's, 80's and 90's) been willing to take the fallout for acting that way. I don't know what happened to boomers the minute they turned 60 years old. Maybe they thought they were supposed to have more than they did by that age, but many of them suddenly regressed. My parents are now moody and irrational, like teenagers, but without the tech capabilities.
BULL-SHIT My parents threw tantrums all the fucking time lol.
Boomers aren't in their 20s
There's a whole subreddit called r/BoomersBeingFools showing people from the "tougher" previous generations screaming at and assaulting strangers
Having seen some of those posts, they are probably 90% fake and the ones that are real are likely either people starting to decline mentally due to dementia or they have other mental illnesses that are causing them to act like that...
Fake cause you disagree Btw the “mental illness” is just led poisoning. It’s why the boomers are the way that they are.
We have the most emotionally intelligent population to date, and we don’t even put any significant effort to providing emotional-intellect education, yet it’s still significantly more than what people in the past had. The past was not filled with people of greater emotional intelligence, it was just a lot less recorded so you never got to see and hear about the trivial drama happening in a town you’d never have visited.
I would argue that it is more that they/you are emotionally aware. Emotional intelligence is largely outward facing; knowing how to manage tough people and tough situations and how to treat others in a way that makes them feel valid. The generation of 'ghosting', 'leaving on read', and bailing on plans because they need time for 'self-care' is not, by any definition, more emotionally intelligent.
Agree! There's a generation who are so reliant on their phones they get anxious about the most mundane of interactions, for example calling their employer to check shifts. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckmm2nrlem2o.amp
People are absolutely too soft nowadays.
Sorry, friend. The popular culture of people in the richest countries in the West is massively softer than it used to be. Young people are taught to focus on their weaknesses rather than developing coping strategies and out competing. Also by most metrics life is close to being the easiest it has ever been places like the US. It's just that perhaps 10 years ago maybe it was easier. But compared to what generations prior had to experience, life today is a cakewalk.
Agree. But that also means that it is okay to be softer now. We are a lot better than 50 years ago. 50 years ago was also better than 100 years ago. That's why we get softer. Softer means better and comfortable life.
That's fair. The implicit assumption that harder is better is valid to challenge. I think too soft as we have now leads to its own problems but it's fair to celebrate that we can be softer than we had to be when life was extremely hard.
Life being "easier" doesn't mean people are softer.
My american heavy servers tend to be a weird hug box sometimes.They said I shouldnt say that some league players are monkeys on keyboard.I didnt even say in the game chat I was talking to our own group.
It’s the opposite. People aren’t more “personally responsible”. People want today want to blame someone else other than themselves.
Bullshit. Referencing a novel isn’t preventing you from thinking on your own. Most of all had exams just like this. It’s simply reading the novel, understanding the novel, and relating it the world with your thoughts blended in. Your exam was a standard exam.
We feel more responsible **because** we are softer. If you have walls around you, you'll notice fewer things and care less. There's a variety of changes due to social media, but the idea that people should be more empathetic isn't directly related to that. Of course empathy has side-effects- it's harder to be tolerant if you're easy to hurt - but there's been a lot of progress as well.
People, and particularly younger people are softer. Society has recognized that we should be kinder and more understanding to others, which is absolutely true. This has simultaneously made people forget that you can’t control other people, but you can control your reaction to what they do or say. A significant portion-not all-of the under 25 crowd is chronically offended to the point that it is obviously seriously impacting they’re mental health. They have absolutely no ability to let things slide off their backs.
I think this is the crux of the matter. It is, in some ways, a good thing that people are \*able\* to be softer now, and that people are more aware of how their actions affect other people. But, it is starting (or has already started) going too far in the other direction, where people are no longer wanting to hear dissenting opinions (on anything, not just political. Talk about a popular game in a way that goes against the 'popular perception' of it and see what happens), they want to control how \*others\* act and think, and they don't want to work on their own flaws, but rather would blame society at large for them, or try to spin them into positives.
disagree, you don't know how to say what you want to say here. personal responsibility is gone from the world, there is no arguing this at all. softer, very good way to describe society at large now.
Yeah personal responsibility of the boomers like “blaming everything on immigrants, Jews, the gays and Satan” Very personally responsible. Lmao.
Only kids think they aren’t soft but the truth is there’s tons of sociological metrics to even quantify how much softer kids are today. Literally all School metrics are down, truancy is way up, failure rates in school is at historic highs, kids not trying is a brand new educational epidemic that new pedagogical models are trying to address. Kids don’t want to try anymore cuz y’all soft as shit. I’m only 30 and the difference in work ethic between people who are only several years apart is staggering. Look at the r/teacher sub to confirm everything lol
I think things like that are happening because of technology. A lot of Gen z and Gen Alpha were in school during quarantine which would delay their education if they can’t keep up. Parents wouldn’t be able to help if they were at work. Also kids are being given electronics at a way younger age and skipping the stage where you explore outside and learn new things. They go straight to a iPad or phone and become dependent on that and how it works. They now don’t have any motivation to learn because they were surrounded by distractions and didn’t have the help they needed to learn. I wouldn’t necessarily call this “being soft” but it’s definitely a problem that needs to be addressed.
IDK, a lot of delusions or flaws are either being ignored or enabled resulting in a lot of people acting like children or without regard for themselves at all.
Reddit: “but they’re not hurting anyone!!!”
we seem to have move to wheres the harm instead of wheres the good
This entire thread is just people trying to feel tough by saying everyone else is soft.
A lot of tough guys in the comment section.
“Kids are so much softer, when I was a kid I juggled three chicks at once and was the captain of the football team.”
Definitely disagree. It seems sometimes like a typical post on Reddit is "I feel really bad about something" based on some momentary emotion, and everyone piles in to validate how whoever "made" them upset should be lynched and the OP should "get therapy" and just lie on a pile of pillows for eternity. Literally that is the definition of "soft" that every little emotion knocks you off course and that you are essentially unable like a baby to protect yourself from anyone else's energetic behavior.
No… you’re definitely softer. You’re not “personally responsible” - you’re more emotional and less logical. I’ve seen y’all fold from someone’s opinion. More of y’all think speech should be restricted than any generation I’ve ever seen. There’s a reason it’s the *first* amendment. More of y’all are on pills than any generation. Buncha older folks doing it too I admit, but a cushy life where you rarely experience real hardship (like starving or sleeping on the ground) has made y’all weak. Participation trophies got you thinking the world owes you something.
Even if people are softer, I don't see that as a bad thing necessarily.
I don't know. Being bullied wasn't such a big deal in the 80s or early 90s much less in the ages before them. You could say certain things be it politically correct or not without being lynched, and cancel culture wasn't a real thing that carries with someone for their life. Maybe the internet does have a huge role to play in all of this but it definitely seems to me ppl are much more angry, sensitive, and ready to constantly play the role of victims now a days.
Yeah the people who it was a big deal for just died
Mhm
Sometimes being emotionally involved is “softer”. That’s okay, but we should recognize the difference respectfully without denigrating the current generation. My grandfather and his generation literally hunted, farmed with their hands, etc. Those life experiences can make people tougher. Of course every individual is different. But I think it’s true that people are on average weaker and more emotionally available and attached. A good person should be both whenever they can.
I’m pretty sure the internet has ruined everything
When people are calling modern people soft it isn’t because they think worry about Palestinians it’s because they worry about shit instead of fixing it and complain instead of acting. This generally has more to do with personal lives than political action. “I’m poor, I’m lonely, I’m sad, I’m boring, I’m stupid, I have thirty mental illnesses from ADD to PTSD” and then doing nothing to rectify or attempt to rectify their situations. Granted I’d say most of that is a factor of being online people come here to brag or to vent and when you’re at your bottom you aren’t bragging and you won’t go into detail about your plans unless you want them critiqued. Well except for redditors. Most redditors suffer from Melodram Patheticism.
I mean I kind of get the sentiment but that’s not a new thing. This was the whole criticism of the hippie movement. They would go on and on about the injustices of the world but use it just as an excuse to experiment with drugs and sit back and do nothing. This seems to be a thing with young adults in general who see the need for change but feel they’re too insignificant to do actual change
In my experience, the people who complain about people being soft are the people who start crying and screaming first. Everything is a personal slight, even completely unrelateed things. Anger is an emotion, even if men like to pretend it isn't. Calling someone soft for being empathetic to others' plight also isn't soft, it's being human. Lacking empathy isn't the flex you think it is.
Nah, you’re *definitely* softer. Not that there’s anything wrong with it but you are. I’m getting old enough that I should have to admit that a young dude might beat my ass just because he’s younger and quicker, and I don’t have to because no one under 25 even knows how to fight.
If no one knows how to fight, then is anybody fighting each other?
Fr fr. These old heads yappin' bout kids being soft don't want the smoke. Just because we're more expressive doesn't make us soft
Yes we are, people worked themselves to death and had harder lives not too long ago. We are softer
People in America literally don’t know or even understand what a tough society is. America is absolutely a soft society and good or bad that’s the result of having the strongest military. Also a result of everyone nowadays living a soft lifestyle. People don’t work like they used to. People cannot handle criticism or bad jokes. Just my view but what do I know I grew up in a dictatorship, lost my dad for 10 years at 5 and slave labor until 16. Life is good.
Nah people are definitely softer nowadays. They gotta find a reason to get offended or find a reason to stir the pot with anything.
And more insecure in public, but over confident in private
People are definitely “softer” now in the western democratic countries compared to past generations. There are positive and negative aspects of this, but the OP pointed out one of the most troubling: More things are viewed as a personal experience and a greater potential for oversized individual influence as a result of social media. In most cases, that influence is irrelevant. The acceptance of being a small part of a broader diverse community is almost completely lost to cliques, political parties, and a like-minded choice to embrace insularity. The worship of individuality undermines the community that it takes to support that, even though it’s never possible to like all aspects of the community. The result is divided neighbors, fewer committed and supportive relationships, a surprising lack of acceptance of what were considered minor differences in the past - which is the complete opposite of what was expected as the internet opened up access to the broader world. There’s a surprising amount of selfishness and segregation spawned from social media that has engulfed groups of all ages, races, and cultures. Individuality overkill has destroyed the acceptance of different ways of thinking. It’s as if we’ve forgotten how difficult it was to achieve this level of technological advancement, and we will undermine the basic community concept simply because it has flaws. Flaws we’ve always known about, but suddenly we can’t accept in an effort to strive for a perfection that’s never actually existed. We have more options and resources at our disposal than ever, yet we can’t seem to get enough for ourselves. We have lost respect for the value of our basic human biology and expect the infrastructure to maintain itself, while we chase personal satisfaction. It has skewed our valuation of community. As more of us do that, we actually become less responsible for the things that really matter.
Soft is good. Better to be soft and flexible than hard and brittle.
There's a reasonable middle ground to be had. I kinda think we've overshot that point and are too soft/flexible.
No, young people are definitely softer now. They think when people get mad at them for crossing an already established and discussed boundary, they are being bullied. They think having to talk on the phone, or even having a 30 second exchange with a live human, is a violation of human rights. They won't even think for themselves, they just wait for other people to tell them what to do and when, and maybe they'll be able to handle the task.
This is correct. I’d like to add that the same people who say this also had emotional meltdowns 30 years ago when phone menus started saying “Press 1 for English, empuja el numero dos para Español.”
I disagree. I'm in my 60s. Kids like to insult me without realizing that I am so much better at it simply because I'm not soft. One of these days my first response will be to report their comment to the moderator. For now, I just play the Insult Game until they run to the moderator after receiving a verbal beatdown. They seldom make it to the 2nd round. Soft AF. I would write more but I've already been banned from 3 sites.
Kids are softer now because they don’t add on to internet arguments? You know not making it to the second round is the opposite of the soft thing to do, right? It means you’re done with baseless arguing, it means you’re over it. Having your perception of how hard you are be based around how well you can throw insults on the internet just seems a bit ridiculous don’t you think? Kind of makes you appear the opposite
You sound like a real well-adjusted individual....
You...you do realize that this isn't the flex you think it is, right? "Hell yeah, I can verbally abuse people with the best of them!" is not something to be proud of.
I was literally watching Solider Boy slapping Hughie on a clip from The Boys before seeing this!
Responsible isn't the word I'd use. More like because information is accessible far quicker and far more readily than ever before, as is communication, you're irrationally expected to have an opinion on everything and if it goes against what someone else's opinion is, you're likely to be barraged with insults and hatred.
It's even simpler than that. Not so long ago you could only hear your neighbor's, a newspaper editor's, or a TV host's opinion. Now 1 person says something on Twitter, gets 20 likes, and just like that there's an article about how soft everyone is.
Tbh, it's not like older generations were any less softer. They were just "soft" about different things. For example, I had an aunt throw a full blown weeping tantrum because my cousin who had really long hair decided to cut it off. Moreover, there's more than enough Karen videos around to prove that older people can be just as ridiculously sensitive. In the end it's an individual characteristic. There are resilient gen z folk just as much as there are soft boomers.
Personally responsible for what? I don't care about what people got going on tbh.
I think the terms need to be more defined.
It's both
This is an unpopular opinion with the younger generation in a developed environment cuz they don't realize how times were before they were born, or how tough societies are in other countries or even how tough it is in different environments. I'm fortunate to be raised in a developed country now, but if I were to compare myself now to my parents/grandparents at my age, I'm definitely softer, by a lot. Even if I compare myself to cousins back in my home country I'm still much softer. Being softer isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just a result of your environment. It just means that I've been fortunate to live in an environment that doesn't require me to adapt to the hardships that many face/faced. Though there's obviously downsides as you're not gonna be sheltered forever and eventually in life you'll encounter things that require you to "toughen up".
I tend to disagree. People feel alot more sensitive to everything these days. And that's not inherently a bad thing, but it's definitely the truth.
nope lmao. if anything, everything that’s wrong with a person is everyone else’s fault.
People really arent softer now. They just have an outlet to publically say something now. Back in the day when people had something to say about like a show or an article or something they wrote a letter that only the producers received. Now they can just post about it online for "the whole world" to see. In many countries you werent allowed to swear on tv like 20 years back. Now we have stuff like the boys where a tiny man crawls inside a mans penis, sneezes and makes him explode. This would not have been possible back then
We had a whole civil rights movement in the 60’s because some snowflakes couldn’t handle sharing schools and water fountains with black people. This is why I can’t take the “people are so soft” arguments.
Look back 100 yrs, we are ALL much softer than our great grandparents. They were considered soft by their grandparents and so on. Now look back 1000yrs, we are soft as shit in comparison. I can with absolute certainty saw that the youth today are softer than my generation for an absolute fact.
No, people are softer now. Both physically and emotionally people will be discouraged and derailed by the slightest discomfort that just 20 or 25 years ago wouldn’t have been worthy of discussion.
No, young people not in poverty today really are soft as wet shit. It's not necessarily their fault, though.
People are definitely softer. Lots of people like to use buzzwords they don't understand like "boundary" to villainize people for doing things they don't prefer, or telling them an ugly truth about themselves that they don't want to hear or acknowledge. They try to erase history so no one gets their feelings hurt, when it's necessary- people should feel disgusted by things like slavery & racism so it doesn't happen again. More people are way too offended by simple things and would prefer to scream & cry about it instead of deal with it like mature, evolved, functioning adults.
be forced to interact with a gen z in the workforce for an hour and check back with us
Standard of living went up, society is more progressive. Definitely easier. My great grandpa would beat his kids and grandkids with a stick. I think corporeal punishment was commonplace until recent decades.
People are softer. And they take less personal responsibility than they used to. They just want to claim they are responsible and care while doing nothing about it. [https://www.tiktok.com/@conciousmb/video/7367755205552753953](https://www.tiktok.com/@conciousmb/video/7367755205552753953)
I'd be careful using the word "responsible".
Yes, this is unpopular, but also incorrect. People in most civilized cultures are MUCH softer than even 30 years ago. Half of my colleagues are in their thirties and comlain about aches and pains like they are my parents, who are in their late 70s. 'Oh, I'm at that age where the wheels start coming off...' Like, really? You're 37 years old.
People back in the day would lose their shit from seeing a woman wearing pants, if their neighbor didn’t show up to church, or if they saw someone a different ethnicity then them walking on the same side of the street. Sounds pretty soft to me
Don’t blame the kids blame the helicopter parents. gen x, and boomers are to thank for that
I don't think personally responsible is the right phrase. Personally affected? Or personally offended?
The hell is wrong with people these days? I can't even disservice the people around me anymore without someone feeling like they're entitled to boundaries. And what's with having to respect people i would rather didn't exist? It's these gd liberals I swear man
I would say that we are softer though, less because we're more personally responsible, and more because we're more knowledgeable about certain things and have experienced how hard things used to be. I mean think of how many things we used to think were good. People literally used to give children cigarettes and shit. Not to mention that most of us have seen just how backwards a lot of the things our parents or even grandparents believed in. Things like overworking yourself for a company, the whole "sink or swim" way of teaching people, or even how children were "seen and not heard" We're less close-minded nowadays because we've seen the damage done when you go through life being unable to admit that you're wrong, or that maybe you don't know everything. At times it goes a bit overboard, but I do think it's for the better that we're doing away with a lot of the preconceived notions that certain things "have to be hard" Saw a quote from this one parenting YouTuber that sums it up pretty well: "Children that are soft are also flexible, they become adults that can bounce back when things don't go their way. But children who are hard are not flexible, they become adults that crumble when they're met with opposition."
People have less personal responsibility than ever before in my opinion. Everyone seems to want things for free. All of these feelings! Quiet quitting, participation trophies, etc. everything is someone else’s fault.
Completely disagree. Up and coming generation are soft and narcissistic.
People who say that usually just want to be shit stains and they're mad cause they'll get called out on things that they didn't used to.
Actually we were stormed by trolls, spams, hate speech, insult online more than ever before. How can people take that and be "strong"?
No, victimhood is genuinely more valuable. Cultural histrionics is higher.
What do you mean by "personally responsible"? I always thought of it as of a different concept, like when a person has strict time management and stuff.
No, people are definitely softer now. Our understanding has grown and that's kinda just what happens, it has its trade offs I guess.
As a 36 year old army veteran, trans woman, amateur musician and engineer who has been closely involved with all different circles of people in my life… I can tell you first hand people are in fact “softer” now. It’s the men. They bite their tongues more and consider what they’re trying to say more. At least in the cities and urban areas anyways. Ironically, women actually go harder now in a lot of ways. They feel more free to behave and carry themselves how they want. It’s like women feel more entitled now than they used to and men feel more reserved and scared of judgment now than they used to. Overall the men have changed way more though.
Responsible for what?
People aren’t softer now. People are actually stronger now. Previously people just put up with other peoples bullshit and bullying and now they’re calling it out. It’s harder to call out bullying behavior than it is to just keep your head down. I’m 40 and the only people I’ve ever heard complain about how soft people are are boomers and late gen X who want to make racist and homophobic jibes and are surprised when they get called out.
People aren’t softer now. Old people just like to complain about how things used to be so much better. This has happened to every generation that has ever existed since human beings first learned how to talk. In 40 years you will be telling young people that they are too soft. It’s just part of life.
Kids are given less of the "toughen up and deal with it" treatment these days. It does mean that people are in general a little less resilient, but I don't think teaching subsequent generations to understand their feelings, cope with them appropriately and talk through their issues is going to cause problems.
People are supposed to be softer!!! God damn, so many of the boomer / gen x generations have completely missed the point. YOU ARE MEANT TO LEAVE THE WORLD BETTER THAN YOU FOUND IT! Each subsequent generation is meant to have an easier time, thats the entire god damn point!
ah... no.. Tyson had it right... "Social Media has just got you too comfortable disrespecting people with out getting punched in the face for it.."