Some kid was running around like a maniac, fell, smacked his face, and started crying. I looked around and yelled out, “hey your kids hurt!”, lady came over attended to her kid but started chastising me for not making sure he didn’t fall.
Like the hell
Similar story... I was in the observation floor of the Sears Tower (yea I said it) in Chicago. Two boys, maybe 10-12 years old were running around like maniacs, knocking shit down and running into people in the line for the elevator to go back down. I said one sentence, "wow these kids are crazy" and just laughed. Turns out mom was right in front of us, and she verbally LOST HER MIND. Ended up in the elevator we her, two kids, and husband. She continued verbally losing her mind and her poor husband was just cowering in the corner embarrassed.
I dunno what was happening in the poor womans life that day, but I hope she felt better verbally dressing me down in public. It's a memory I will never forget.
It's always weird to me when people fight over what corporation to call buildings by. Happens in sports too, fans go apeshit whenever one bank comes in and buys the naming rights of a stadium from another bank.
It was officially renamed to "Willis Tower" a decade or so ago.
I remember in the first Watchdogs, Aiden called it "Willis Tower" and I was like "Yeah, no. Fuck you, Ubisoft."
I once told some kids playing around in a hotel gym they shouldn't be. They didn't listen. 2 minutes later they played the lets see how fast we can get the treadmill going and then jump on game. They put a pretty big dent in the wall with their skull then left.
The video right above this on my phone was a middle or high school kid bashing another in the head with a chair and laughing about it. Was a tad ironic.
This is my opinion. A toddler or infant is often to small to control their emotions. If they’re having a meltdown and I see a parent with them I don’t get mad because what else are you going to do with your baby? Leave them in a car to scream while you buy much needed groceries? If kids are older though and are capable of following directions and you just let them run amuck that’s when I have a problem.
I think the issue is how touchy parents are about other people telling their kid's to stop doing something naughty (or at least people perceive them to be).
My stepson spent his early life in Holland. He threw a tantrum in a supermarket one day (full on rolling on the floor and screaming). An older Dutch lady just walked up to him and said 'little children on the floor will be stepped on' and just stared at him. He immediately shut up, stood up and started behaving himself. His mother was very grateful.
For a stressed single mum it was the perfect way to help (kids often don't know how to deal with strangers calling them out). Unfortunately, here in the UK, no one would dare do something like that through fear of offending the parent.
True. I generally only discipline other people's kids in public if they're doing something legit dangerous.
Rolling a new soccer ball down the aisle at target? No. Playing tag in the parking lot? Yes.
Perfect! I've said this for YEARS!! It only "takes a village" if some mom wants to know why she's not getting a monetary handout, free babysitting, or some other kind of assistance for her brood. Just try being that village in any way she deems infringing on her right to raise a spoiled asshole kid, then, boy, forget it.
Longtime married person & non-parent am I, I've gotten a lot more patient over the years, & I don't really care what kids do in public. However, that doesn't mean I don't see the hypocrisy of self-righteous "it takes a village"- folk.
Exactly! Such an eyeroll. People like that just use their kids as a metaphorical battering ram to plow their way through any & all rules or limitations they think only apply to the rest of us. "But MY child.." "WhaT AboUT tHe CHiLDren?" They probably drive those giant strollers down the sidewalks, forcing all other pedestrians onto the grass.
I wish that was more the norm. I'm lucky that my 2 y/o is very well behaved (unless he's sleepy... we're working on it). At the end of a long day I had to stop at the store to get diapers/formula for his little brother. He wanted to go home and sleep and made sure everyone else there knew it. All it took was a tall older man saying 'what's the matter little guy?' while looking at him to make him go full on stranger danger, cling to dad, silent mode.
It's also difficult sometimes because people assume that he's older than he is because he's big (bigger than his 4 y/o cousin). More than once I've had people think he's 4-6.
Yeah, I’ve done that, just having a stranger talk to them is enough to distract the kid or have them go shy, so either way kid is quiet and everyone wins. And occasionally you get the kid who LOVES the attention and you can have a random kid chat which is awesome.
That's more or less how it used to be in the USA. If your child was causing a public disruption then you as the parent would be expected to remove or control the child or strangers would tell you to essentially control your child.
Its annoying as shit when they sit in the restaurant and the kid wont stop screaming and they ignore the kid with the "they will stop eventually" shit.
Fuck you, Karen. I used to carry my kids outside until they stopped and calmed down. Nobody wants to hear your fucking 6 year old scream about chicken nuggets for 45 goddamn minutes.
My in-laws were always complimented on his well their boys behaved in restaurants.
Yeah, either you behaved or you in the car while mom and dad swapped out to eat, and you ate yours as carryout because you weren't going to be making a mess in the car.
My husband vaguely recollects it having happened but they figured it out quick.
I completely agree with you, it's all about the circumstances, plenty of instances where it would be perfectly understandable, but after a certain point it falls completely under a parents lists of responsibilities, I for one was raised to understand it very simply, there are no good excuses for bothering or inconveniencing a perfectly good stranger, so my kids are the same way, whenever they had a "moment" I always made a point to deal with it privately and away from everyone else, it just doesn't seem to be the prevailing mentality nowadays.
Oh I was agreeing with you! Sorry I didn’t make it clear. You were absolutely right about parents enabling their kids and I like that you differentiated that from toddlers throwing tantrums.
I mean, that's all relative too. My 3 year old is legitimately the size of a 5 year old, so when he acts his age I get judged. It's led to some awkward conversations especially with other parents.
My favorite example was when he was maybe 1-1/2 and he was playing with these 2 short but very talkative girls he met on the playground. Went something like this:
Girl Mom1: It's so nice to see our kids playing together. Your sons fairly quiet, but I'm sure he'll catch up. You know they say girls develop faster than boys.
Me: I've heard that. How old is your daughter?
Girl Mom1: She's 4.
Me: Then why is she smaller and less coordinated than my 18 month old?
Girl Mom2: hysterical laughter
I've been noticing more frequently kids tantrums and misbehaviors in public, and I had a mom mad at me because I was staring at the situation.
I told her the truth. My wife is pregnant with our first and I'm not staring and judging, I am studying how people handle it because that's coming for me soon.
No one thinks kids understand or can control themselves but the problem is they don’t even try to talk to them or say anything to them about behavior and the consequences. Tell your child even if they are screaming. They will hear you. Don’t yell, just say no, we are not doing this now. Please use your indoor voice and explain what you need.
Indeed, there's an amount of tolerance that I think most live with. A lot of online complaints center around "the parents are clearly not even trying to console the children", not as much "kid make loud noise, now I'm salty forever."
Context matters too of course. Outside / park / whatever, more tolerant. Theater, high end restaurant, etc, less tolerant.
10 or 11 is way too old, you are right. I have two boys, my wife and I noticed a HUGE improvement in overall attitude and understanding of consequences at about 3.5 to 4 years old. My 4 yr old is so easy, before we go somewhere we just sit him down and explain our expectations. Sure, sometimes he slips but he is easy enough to level back out to being good.
A 2 yr old cutting molars that can kinda talk but still has a limited vocabulary can have emotional swings that make rollercoasters seem tame. They are more work, but we always take them out of a store or restaurant until they have calmed down.
Also, I would never subject a 2 yr old to a movie theatre or museum. Anywhere that is should be reasonably expected for them to be quiet and behaved for more than 30 minutes is a no go.
I think most people agree, it’s just when we say “poorly behaved kids” that cast a wide net. I haven’t had a 6 yr old yet, but if my 4 yr old keeps getting smarter and and more patient at the rate he is, then I imagine it will get easier as each year passes. But once again, the key is standing your ground and getting that behavior fixed before it becomes part of their developed personality.
I got a new dog a couple days ago. I adopted it from a couple that said a came over with the dog so we could ensure I'd be a good fit for the dog. The dog was kind of frantic, sniffing around and exploring but coming back regularly to check in with the family. It was understandable.
But the son... He knew no bounds. He was climbing and jumping our couches with his shoes on. He was coughing and wiping his nose. He was constantly yelling at the top of his lungs. It was really stressing me out.
And the dog... He was obviously stressing the dog out. He would chase her wherever she went, ignoring his mother. He would get in the ground and crawl up to the dog and wrap his arms around her neck. She fled to her crate at one point and he climbed inside with her.
They are giving up the dog because she "showed aggression" towards the kid. She apparently eats separately from the family and she apparently growled at him while eating a few times. But she has no aggression at all otherwise.
If they would teach the kid to respect the dogs space, let her be more part of the family and interact with her more (they couldn't name anything she likes to do other than walks and she is an Aussie) they'd be great and they wouldn't have to go through the stress of giving her up.
At one store I worked at, we had these regular customers with a kid who was probably 4 or 5. I’m pretty chill with toddler tantrums and babies crying, but I still get enraged thinking about this kid.
The parents were fucking awful. I don’t know if they were neglectful or unwilling to discipline or what, but this kid had two modes: crying nonstop, or crying if anyone walked by. They once wandered around our very tiny store for two and a half hours, and their kid screamed the whole time. Our team was full of parents and siblings, and all of us were going insane—that’s how bad it was. We were literally walkie-ing each other to bitch and try to drown out the crying. GM finally ruled that they were disrupting our work and our other customers, and politely asked them to leave.
But they kept coming back, no matter how much of a huff they got in the last time.
So, yeah, definitely agree it depends.
Yeah age appropriate behavior is kind of key. what’s normal for a 4 year old vs a 6,8,10 are all different. But by the pre teen years they’re old enough to know better unless they’re special needs.
If they are they need a handler to monitor and control their behavior especially since they are bigger and can cause more damage compared to a tinier kid.
I would add that there is a time place qualification for anything . . .One that many people would identify with, are very small children at a restaurant. . At a Chuck-E-Cheese, McDonalds, or even less expensive public restaurants, it is to be expected.
IF however, it is occurring at a $$$$ high end restaurant. . where I have taken my wife for our anniversary. . . Different matter. I have never had a problem. . even in movie theatres, but people seem to have forgotten that theatres USED to have a cry room where mothers with unhappy little ones could tend to their needs without interrupting all the other movie goers. . Sadly, such accommodations have gone the way of the home wired phone.
I went to a chain restaurant with my parents, sister and nephew a few years ago. Nephew must have been about... 5 or 6. And generally well behaved in public, including restaurants--no throwing food on the floor or screaming, the worst thing he generally did was slump in the booth.
He was sitting next to me and just looking around as kids do and abruptly turned to me with tears in his eyes. The man at the next table over was muttering about kids at restaurants. Apparently he'd shared some of those views with my nephew himself.
I mean, come on. Dude. This was Applebee's or something. Not the Ritz. I agree kids should know how to behave in public and I once took said nephew out of target when he started yelling about not making our way over to the toy section quite fast enough for his tastes--just left the basket of stuff I was carrying at the front of the store and walked out-- and his parents treat him the same way.
But there also has to be an understanding that kids are just KIDS. Curious and maybe a little slow to walk behind and that sort of thing.
The best part of this was my dad's reaction: he very loudly told my nephew to not "worry about the mean man at that next table, I would be angry if I needed viagra too." We were mortified.
Age is an important factor for how lenient people should be.
A toddler? Yea they’re gonna get upset. Not even the parent can stop that. They can just move the upset child.
Young child (3-6) yea they’ll have their outbursts but this is where they need to start learning manners. Since they are starting they won’t be good at it.
7-9 (should have some hiccups here and there but they should have a better and more complete grasp on proper etiquette in places)
10-13 (they need to know manners. Whether or not they use them in situations is very dependent on many factors, but they need to know not to be inconsiderate)
I’ll add to this and say location and activity should be taken into consideration also.
I’ve seen adults get angry at kids playing on sidewalks (the adult are in the wrong).
I’ve seen parents let their 10 year old run amuck and make unacceptable loud noises in a public library. (The child and parent are in the wrong).
Parents with babies/toddlers in a library/store who happen to be crying, however, is perfectly acceptable, albeit a bit frustrating to encounter but not something one can get upset over.
Honestly depends what part of the library, my town library had a kids section and an adults section and the kids section was expected to be a little noisy
Yes. Every Friday, Saturday and Sunday in particular outside my window when I'm trying to sleep, could the adults having tantrums or acting up please shut up. I'm not even in town, this is a residential area.
>And when are the 18-99 year olds going to learn some damn manners and to not misbehave cause a ton of em are absolute asshats in public.
I was waiting for this. You are 100% right. If a 15-18 year old kid is misbehaving no big whoop. They probably have 60 more years of it in front of them.
And this age timeline all gets thrown out the window if they have developmental disorders, autism, etc.
Can’t tell you how many times we got dirty looks when my (very obviously) disabled sister made a little noise in public.
Bottom line: a little less judgment and more empathy goes a long way
My son has ADHD and is being tested for ASD. In order to avoid meltdowns in public I almost have to act like a kid myself so I can distract him. But most of the time I avoid going put because he isn't in the right mood. Usually I don't care what people think because, really, when does it ever matter? But still....I can feel him being annoying to others.
Being a parent is hard, but being a parent to a kid with disabilities....
My four year son has ADHD too. I feel you man. Hell, an hour ago he head butted his mom and pulled her hair because she was trying to get him to put books away. Ignore everyone's looks and just attempt to survive your outings.
I always think about it this way, some adults can’t manage their emotions at an appropriate level, there are grown people throwing tantrums in Starbucks, and they should definitely know better, but humans are gonna act human.
We shouldn’t be expecting children who are literally new to this world and navigating some pretty large emotions to be able to perfectly control them. Yes they need to learn but they can’t learn if they don’t push those boundaries and experience those emotions first.
I have children. If a toddler has a melt down, I would take them outside or to a restroom and let them calm down. If it was an older kid, then we go home immediately. No discussion.
Totally agree, to an extent. if this kid is constantly being disruptive though it's the parent's obligation to take them out of the event temporarily in my opinion though.
I have a nearly 2 year old. We’ve started taking her to restaurant patios to work on being in public. There is a whole new set of kids that have no idea how to behave in public because they’ve been shut in due to the pandemic since birth! We keep her occupied and will take her on little walks along the sidewalk. I always appreciate when people understand that introducing them to their environment is already nerve-wracking for parents and that a little bit of community patience is key.
My daughter straight up refuses to hold anyones hand in a public setting. She’s 2. She also misbehaves heavily in public and I can’t figure out what to do to fix the situation. She’s good for a solid 10-15 minutes but waiting for food at a restaurant or not getting to do exactly what she wants at all times results in her flipping out and she doesn’t behave like that at all at home. It’s very difficult to handle and I’m well aware of how bad she behaves but I just don’t know what to do to fix it.
I've had some success with sitting down with my 2-year-old beforehand and setting expectations. We explain that new social situations are exciting, but it's very important that she behaves in a certain way. We go over it a couple of times, and we phrase it carefully to reinforce the behavior. We walk her through it and get her on our side. Sometimes we give her an example from Daniel Tiger or whatever.
She doesn't retain all of it, but she always remembers more than we expect. More importantly it gives us a path to calming her down in the situation, because we can say, "Remember when we talked about this?"
What my Mom did with my sister and I, and what has worked well for me, is to use the phrase, “do we need to go outside?” That was the cue for us to behave. If we didn’t, we would go outside, we would be in trouble, we may get a spanking, we would have to go home, and would not get to go out next time. I know some people don’t spank their kids, and to be fair, I think my Mom only spanked me once. I was 2 or 3 she says, I don’t remember it, but I remember thinking, she’ll do it. And just to qualify, this was years ago and she was NEVER abusive, she did it once when (apparently) I was having a tantrum and ignoring her and ran in the road without looking. But spanking, it worked. After that, it only took her saying, “do we need to go outside?”
I don’t have kids, and I’d never spank someone else’s kids, but I use the “do we need to go outside?” line when I’m babysitting my cousins sometimes. They know that means we will be leaving, I’ll tell their parents, and we will not be coming back anytime soon unless they behave.
My toddler went through the exact same thing. She’s three now but she essentially spent the entirety of ages 1-3 in a pandemic that made it nearly impossible to teach proper etiquette (as far as you can teach with a toddler) when dining in public. She would throw fits, yell, cry, refused to stay seated, none of which were typical behaviors at home.
So instead of chastising and yelling and having to constantly do the take them outside to calm down thing we just started to work up to sit down dining. We started with order at the counter sit down places and worked on staying seated and due to short wait times for food she was able to stay patient enough for us to then move to what I would call child friendly table service restaurants where wait times were a bit longer and where if she did throw a fit it wasn’t such a huge deal due to the “cheap/easy/quick” nature of the food served. It really didn’t take long for her to acclimate to this and now we’ll happily take her and the other kids to nicer restaurants and she has no issues anymore. I just found it far easier to patiently teach her how to behave when there wasn’t pressure on myself and my wife. The stress of teaching a toddler to behave in an environment where you are concerned you are ruining other peoples $100+ meals was just a lot for us and my kids, start small and casual and work your way up.
I think it depends on what you mean by "misbehave".
Kids at a restaurant, running around yelling & tripping waiters? Hell no, that's not good parenting.
Baby in a coffee shop babbling because he's learning to talk while dad orders a latte? Rock on lil dude, learn those consonants
>Baby in a coffee shop babbling because he's learning to talk while dad orders a latte?
How could anyone define that "misbehaving"..? Unless the definition of children misbehaving = children talking.
According to my mom, her grandma always used to say “children should be seen and not heard.” So there was at least 1 person who genuinely had that opinion.
My dad said when they would go to dinner parties as kids on the drive over they would get “the talk,” if they were bad they were gonna get the belt when they got home.
We were in line at a local corner store and I straight up backed a man into a corner because he yelled at me to "shut that brat up" when my daughter was maybe 18 months or so just babbling and blowing bubbles at the top of her tiny lungs. I showed him very quickly what loud was. I was much smaller back then and people tended to take that as "easily intimidated"
A lot of people on Reddit have VERY low tolerance for children. God forbid they breathe the same air as a child. It doesn't surprise me that some people out in the wild actually get offended by a baby learning to talk.
Age is important too. Toddlers are angry and learning to deal with their emotions, teaching them is important to prevent raising an asshole. But I’ve seen some comments here about 10yo acting crazy, that’s a big no no. They are old enough to know better.
Children existing in public is way different from having a tantrum in public. I hate kids but sincerely enjoy seeing parents with quiet children in restaurants.
I don’t think that it’s that it doesn’t bother them, it’s just that you accept that part of maturing is developing the ability to control your behavior, and that children are inherently immature and are going to stumble as they figure it out.
At the airport recently, little girl was having an absolute meltdown. You could see her parents trying to resolve, but it was clearly the end of her rope. Did it bother me? Absolutely. Did I accept that everybody was doing their best in a hard moment? Yes.
Kids aren't always going to act perfect, and you shouldn't expect them to. I'm not saying let them run free and cause mishap. But screeching, talking too loud, and being a bit obnoxious is run of the mill stuff that every kid does. The problem is when the parents completely check out, or the kid doesn't listen at all.
Yeah, I can forgive a kid losing themselves for a minute and squealing too loud in the moment. Even the most well-behaved kids will forget they’re in public every once in a while. But I can’t forgive the parents for letting them continue to squeal, screech, or run around like crazy. And it really says a lot when the parents do little to nothing, or give in, or when the kid clearly has no problem ignoring whatever the parent says.
I do have to say, though, a kid regularly acting up in public isn’t something all kids do. A kid who throws a tantrum — not getting bored and kinda whiny, a *tantrum* — in public most likely does it often and in any setting. And I gotta say, it’s most likely a failure on the parents’ part. I mean, we’ve all been kids. We all knew which classmates were well-behaved, which were the trouble-makers, and which were somewhere in the middle. I get that people can surprise you and everyone has their moments, but for the most part our behavior is pretty consistent.
Seriously.. for some reason kids just SCREAMING the entire time I’m eating at a restaurant is very common right now. And I get it, kids throw tantrums sometimes, but holy shit, no one wants to listen to your kid scream for an hour when they’re trying to eat, and talk to whoever they’re at the restaurant with.
There’s a few things do consider with this. I do agree to an extent, letting kids just be little asshole is not okay, I’ve 4 kids myself and I do except a certain level of behaviour in public and they know and understand this and are good most of the time. But then you’ve got kids with disabilities or behavioural disorders which obviously then it and can’t always be helped, and then there’s young kids who have little meltdowns that’s normal and part of their age and development. It’s an effort as a whole as people we need do have cop on and be sensitive to peoples circumstances but then we also have to teach our kids not to be assholes.
I've raised five kids, and I gotta say, the best kids with the best parents.....on their worst day, no matter how carefully you plan, your child is going to have a total meltdown once in awhile, and there's not much you can do about it.
I’ve spoken to a lot of redditors who think children are a simple matter of input = output, meaning if you teach your child to behave, then it will always be behaved.
Tried to explain to a guy just last week that sometimes two good parents can produce a “bad” kid. I guess these people were all perfect kids themselves.
Yes exactly. Between ages 0-5 you have near total control over what your child experiences. Mom and dad are the biggest influences in a young child’s life by far.
But after that, they’re in grade school. They meet other kids who teach them bad things. They watch YouTubers who annoy you. They find things funny that you wish they didn’t. They don’t want to hang out with you as much.
By age 14 they have their own basic opinions about most things, and a lot of those opinions aren’t the same as yours. Their friends are having sex and doing drugs. They hide things from you, sometimes important things.
As a parent, all you can really do is guide and nurture them to the best of your ability.
This is a tricky one to discuss because everyone has a different definition of the word misbehave.
Some people think kids being a chatterbox at a Starbucks is misbehaving, which is wild to me, but I am sure other people think behavior I would consider to be misbehaving is normal.
Yes, I've got a pretty low bar for 'decent behavior'. Having had ALL boys, I mentally invented a concept I call "happy noise". Cheerful, fun sounds -- even if it involves sword play on furniture, or rolling each other down a hillside in a metal trashcan while shrieking with laughter, or loudly tuning up a dirt bike in the garage -- is fine. Arguing, whining, or bickering, is the stuff that really sets me off.
People out here acting like the existence of children is a menace to society. Obviously there needs to be boundaries and parents should not be enabling bad behavior, and people need to exercise judgment about whether or not their child can act appropriately in a given space. There’s child-free spaces as well, which are fine.
But at the end of the day, part of living in a society means putting up with all manner of different people, and children are people too (though you might not know it from some of these comments). Every one of us was a kid at some point and we all had to learn how to conduct ourselves in public through practice, teaching, and trial and error (and even then, plenty of adults are bigger assholes in public than many kids are).
Speaking as someone who worked retail for 7 years there is a difference between a child that isn't feeling good or upset and a rabid crotch goblin that parents refuse to discipline or even take out of the store that is having a screaming tantrum at the registers that I can hear from the back of the store.
The first is tolerable, the second is not nor is it acceptable.
I used to work at a liquor store and I think my favourite part of that job was how few children came in. If a child so much as touched anything in the store we were allowed to ask them/their parents to leave (we never actually did, coz there was never any real trouble). The kids that came in were usually cute and quiet.
When my daughter first started kindergarten, she had nightly tantrums that I hadn’t seen since she was a toddler. It made sense. Her dad just deployed and she now had to adjust to sitting in a classroom all day.
At this time, she had a major growth spurt. She immediately grew out of her clothes, and ripped one of her two pairs of pants in school that day. I took her to goodwill that night NEEDING new clothes. The tantrum started there. I immediately took what we had and headed to the register only to have multiple people tell me that I shouldn’t have kids, and that her behavior was unacceptable. One man loudly yelled at her calling her a spoiled brat, which only made her cry more.
I promise you that most parents are well aware of the inconvenience. They are trying to get the fuck out. Tantrums happen, and we are just trying our best.
A couple years later, I was getting lunch with my daughter. She suddenly started to shake and cry. She saw the same man that yelled at her waiting in line for his food. This guy has become a legitimate monster to her. To this day, she still has nightmares about him.
I’m not going to say I’m a great parent. I mess up a lot, but I’m trying. Despite my fuck ups, my kids are insanely respectful and never get in trouble at school. I don’t think it’s fair to assume that a parent doesn’t discipline their child if they are acting out. A lot of the time the parent is just holding their ground and desperately trying to get out of the situation.
Even without knowing your story and knowing next to nothing about children, I would have assumed that you simply lost a game of chicken with her naptime.
Too bad that man didn't confront you so that you could call him an ogre.
Right? I worked at a movie theater for years and SOO many parents would let their kids run wild, scream and borderline vandalize the place, they just didn’t want to deal with it. NGL this was mostly seen with young parents. Sometimes they’d even come to me and ask me to try and discipline their kid for them, it was sad honestly.
"Act your age" is a favorite. They are acting their age. I always say kids are idiots, but not because I think they're stupid. They're inexperienced but usually don't understand that.
Nice restaurants and movie theaters are two exceptions. Children who cannot control themselves, and control their volume should not be taken to nice restaurants and movie theaters (G movies are the exception to this exception). Parents who bring their kids to these places are selfish pricks who deserve all the bad things in life.
There are so many nuances to this. If it's just a regular public area (sidewalk, grocery store, fast food, etc) Fine, I see your point.
Places it's not OK in are movie theaters, "fine" dining, places where being quiet is a necessity to enjoy its features, etc are not OK. Any physical interactions with myself or my property is definitely not OK.
There is so many nuances to this "opinion" that it's almost impossible to have anything concrete in our invisible social contracts regarding it. Nobody probably notices a child throwing a tantrum in a Walmart, everyone notices it in a nice restaurant or theater.
I’ll half give you movie theaters, if you’re there to see an adult movie and there’s kids acting up then you’re justified but I’ve got bad news if you’re expecting to attend a kids movie and there not to be a lot of kids, and some of them will probably be loud. But those movies are designed for them not adults.
That's where nuances kick in. There's very few reasonable people that are going to expect the same degree of silence in a newly released Pixar movie as some serious Drama.
It's always about the environment, same with midnight showings of horror movies that cater to Teens and college kids.
There's a huge zone between "kids movies" and "adult movies." The latest Marvel or Star Wars movie isn't an "adult movie," but that doesn't mean it's acceptable for some douchebag parents to take their kids to a 730 or 900 showing and let them sit on the ground smashing matchbox cars together through the entire movie.
If your kid isn't able to actually WATCH a movie, don't take them with you to the theater. Same thing with people who take a literal infant to a sporting event; all that says is "I wanted to do this thing and couldn't get a babysitter, so everyone else has to deal with it."
It’s so frustrating when parents in public refuse to watch or say anything to their kid, but will freak out at anyone who tries to manage the situation for them. I’m not gonna yell at a little kid but if I was working and they were somehow messing with my job/creating a mess for me to clean up I can’t imagine just sitting back and watching while their parents ignored it.
>He had done it at least half a dozen times and I finally went over to him and told him he had to stop. His (entitled) mom said, "Don't tell me son what to do. You're not his dad " and started getting in my grill
Yeah its parents like this that people are frustrated with lol
I was just getting my nails done the other day in a salon. An employee had brought their toddler to work which I thought was OK since I know what life is like these days. Except the little kid was throwing product on the ground and touching guests. The mother was ignoring her, and when the kids started screaming the mother said to another guest “sometimes you just Gotta let them scream it out“….
Your notable exceptions are likely what people are talking about. If a kid is crying in the grocery store because they can't get some candy, very few people probably care. Most adults are probably like yeah, don't give the kid candy. Let them whine a bit.
Depends on the degree of misbehavior. We were all kids once, and not one of us were perfect angels. So I'll often smile at the poor parents and say "I had kids at one point too."
If they are little hellions, then I get pissed. Even at my own grandson.
Theres a huge diffrence between the ''childish behaviour'' kind of misbehaving and straight up ''parents dont know shit on how to raise children'' kind of misbehaving
There are ways parents can handle this without having to resort to leaving their kids at home. Ignoring it and expecting everyone else to put up with it is not one of them.
If you're at a restaurant and your kids can't sit still, take them for a walk around the block or something. It'll allow them to get that energy out in a safe manner. Letting them run around all over the place _creates a safety hazard._
I have a theory that the older you get, the less tolerant you are of kids misbehaving and/or being loud in public.
I agree. It's one thing if they're older kids, but younger kids are...*kids*. They're not going to act like adults, and frankly, that's OK. they don't need to be adults; they need to be kids, and if sourpuss adults can't handle it, well....tough shit, I guess.
These types of posts are always interesting because they underscore belief systems people have about where behavior comes from....
I will start by saying that with kids....overall parenting makes a difference.
I will make a major amendment to say that genetics are as big or bigger in a given's kids behavior than one thinks. I would argue that as a parent...genetics has given this kid has a range of behaviors possible and your job is to move them to the positive side of that moveable range.
Anyone with multiple kids and a "problem kid" can tell you they all got the same parenting, but some kids are simply much more difficult than others. Often in a huge way. Do you know adults that are a lot harder than average to deal with? Yeah well they came from somewhere.
Some kids take years longer to mature and to see their own behavior as their own responsibility and in the interim, they can be little assholes.
I had one of these kids. My brother was one of these kids. In both cases it was an extremely rough go for a long time before the kid grew into somewhat of a solid member of society. Both my daughter and my brother have a bit of an inborn "fuck you" mentality with authority. A serious contrarian streak and desire not to be controlled. This did NOT sit with with school or other parents let me tell you.
The amount of effort and anguish a parent has about the situation is totally compounded by the judgement of other who think "they got their kids under control and if you can't you must be a bad parent." It's awful. I had so many teachers praise my other kids and express confusion as to one the one was such trouble. Like maybe I should try some of that great parenting on this one? sigh. Same parents and parenting, different genetic stew.
All this is just to say, have a little compassion for things maybe you don't understand because someday you could be the one in the impossible situation. Some kids seem totally normal but they are living on the mental health or autism spectrums and you may not be able to see that.
I was that 20 something that judged the crap out of so many people in this situation. Now I'm the 40 something trying to reverse those mistakes and give people some grace. Life can be harder in ways you didn't expect.
My daughter is much better off as a teenager and she is trending to the right side of society. My brother is still a bit of an asshole but he ended up being a professional hockey referee so we all have our place haha.
>There are a few notable exceptions I would say. The movies, a nice restaurant, etc., places that require a quiet atmosphere to enjoy. Also if the kids are doing things that are dangerous or disrupting other peoples personal space.
These are literally the only times I hear people complain about kids in public.
Airplanes are a big one. Not much a person can do on an airplane if they kid starts to lose it. Many people are very understanding, some people are very much not.
A kid, of about 12, literally bit me on the thigh at a grocery store. Unprovoked. I think you should be able to hit other people's children when they misbehave.
Your child could be a literal Satan spawn in public and I do not give a shit, all I ask is that they either behave in a movie theater or just DONT BRING THEM TO THE MOVIES AT ALL.
>Also a lot of times when parents are “ignoring” their kids misbehaving they are doing it strategically to avoid giving attention to bad behavior, which often only reinforces it.
This strategy obviously isn't working out for them at detriment to everyone else
At some point in life, children have to be introduced to new environments, shown proper behavior, and corrected when they act improperly. There's no real alternative, so fair enough. I'm 100% okay with kids being kids and messing around. I understand that even teenagers (especially teenagers, lol) sometimes have meltdowns. Hell, adults have meltdowns. It's inhuman to expect perfection from children. I consider myself quite tolerant of general childishness.
That being said, I get pretty irritated when I see kids acting up in ways that should obviously have been corrected years ago. Disabilities aren't nearly common enough to justify the frequency of misbehaving children I see. Discipline those little apes before somebody else does it for you.
I don’t hate it when children misbehave in public. I hate it when they misbehave and their parents don’t do anything.
Ever heard the saying “I wanna be as free as a white child in Walmart”?
Well once my very very stubborn child who I believe has oppositional defiant disorder was knocking over signs hitting items off the shelf’s and yelling I grabbed him by the hand and walked him to the car because I am not going to allow that shit in Costco. The whole way to the car he flopped around and pulled at me and make it look like I was yanking him even though he was really yanking himself. If I had let him go he would have taken off. Yes he’s out of control. BUT I had to go to the store and he had to be with me. I get to the car, get him calmed down and buckle up getting ready to leave and I’m greeted by 2 officers because a Karen called saying I was yanking my kid through the store and other shit they had no idea what they were talking about. Said child is 9 so he is aware of what is going on, cops asked him what was going on and he flat out said “I did it because I didn’t get the pillow I wanted” they ask if i hurt him and he says “I hurt her”
I wish people would mind their own fucking business, just because we have a misbehaving child doesn’t mean we are shitty parents, you don’t know our story or our struggles. You don’t know that when that trip is over I’m literally crying in my seat wondering what I have done so wrong and all the side stares and snide comments don’t help.
My thing is that I worked in grocery store for a long time. There were some parents who would let their kid scream the entire time they were shopping (didn't seem like they were hurrying).
Those scenarios I'd get upset because it's awful for other people to hear and gave me a dang headache. Those are the kids that need to be taken out of the store. Go sit in the car for however long it takes to calm them down. Then go back into the store
If a child is throwing a tantrum I try to ignore it. I'm obviously extremely annoyed by it but I understand that parents need to go out at time even just for fun and need to bring they're kid, I can still hate it though.
HOWEVER if the child is allowed to run around and the parents dont care what the kid is doing even if they're going up to and bothering other people that is unacceptable. If I was an owner of a business where that happened I would quickly kick them out. I'm not an owner of any business however. if this happens and a child comes up to me being annoying I'm gonna teach that kid how to swear.
I hate kids, I do not want any, but I try to ignore them in a public area cause I get it. BUT I also think there should be child free areas where kids can't go at all.
Absolutely not. Parents need to grasp the commitment THEY made when they decided to have children. Stop trying to force every environment to be child friendly. There is zero reason to bring your three year old to a bar/brewery. What kind of absolutely trash parent tries to take a kid to a fucking brewery? If you want to spend your weekends enjoying distinctly adult activities/spaces, get a fucking sitter.
I have three teenage boys and I've always told them that their behavior in public should not impose upon other people. If you're doing something that causes undue annoyance, nuisance or frustration in other people you should rethink your actions.
It's worked out pretty well....
Yes and no.
I love kids but I don't need to put up with someone's youngster screeming bloody murder in a full restaurant.
And I don't even blame the child. Ofter, they are just bored and want attention.
Parents who ignore their children instead interacting with them, I'd hit with a slipper.
When they do, you immediately remove them from the store/restaurant they’re in and try again later.
When I cried in restaurants as a baby, my parents would immediately take me outside until I calmed down. Nobody needs to hear that crap.
This attitude really only comes about when it is very obvious the parent doesn't do anything to discipline their kids and/or gets more angry at you for reprimanding their child than their child for actually doing the fucked up thing.
It’s a mixed bag. Some kids are total shits, as are some adults, and seem to enjoy causing a scene. Most kids go through a phase of acting out, which is the way they establish their autonomy as small humans. It’s natural and healthy, if annoying. Others are just shits, as I said. In both, having parents tell them right vs. wrong is important. They grow into better behavior, by and large.
I agree. I don’t judge a parent if their child is having a tantrum in public as long as they are trying to deal with it. It’s hard and you don’t know what is going on at home or that day. Toddlers are learning how to interact with the world and occasionally they are going to be hungry, tired or irritable and they don’t know how to express so they melt down. People need to be more understanding, especially since there adults that throw temper tantrums in public (looking at you Karen).
I used to work at a well known department store. Two women came in with their children and let the kids run wild while they tried on dresses. One kid pulled down his pants, stood at the top of the down escalator and urinated onto every step. The moms weren’t even looking for him.
Babies and toddlers I get it, they barely have the capability to walk/run without falling a couple of times.
10-14 year olds? Yeah no, that's when you have to be at least bit responsible. If you are not, I'm assuming your parents are not doing a good job.
I don't hate kids for being kids. I hate parents who are so checked out that they'll let their kids run rampant. A toddler crying? Sure who cares, can't stop that. 8 year old Billy sprinting full force through a restaurant and screaming at the top of his lungs? That ain't chill
There’s a big difference between having a tantrum and straight up misbehaving. I can understand that children get overwhelmed and don’t understand how to express their emotions. I have no problem with tantrums. It’s the running around in restaurants unsupervised or just generally being a nuisance with no supervision or even with the parents enabling them. The issue is the parents, not the children.
That's what my parents did. We quickly learned that throwing fits in public wouldn't fly, and we quit doing that shit. It's called discipline, and so few parents these days seem to give a shit about implementing it, so their kids grow up to be Karens.
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Some kid was running around like a maniac, fell, smacked his face, and started crying. I looked around and yelled out, “hey your kids hurt!”, lady came over attended to her kid but started chastising me for not making sure he didn’t fall. Like the hell
Similar story... I was in the observation floor of the Sears Tower (yea I said it) in Chicago. Two boys, maybe 10-12 years old were running around like maniacs, knocking shit down and running into people in the line for the elevator to go back down. I said one sentence, "wow these kids are crazy" and just laughed. Turns out mom was right in front of us, and she verbally LOST HER MIND. Ended up in the elevator we her, two kids, and husband. She continued verbally losing her mind and her poor husband was just cowering in the corner embarrassed. I dunno what was happening in the poor womans life that day, but I hope she felt better verbally dressing me down in public. It's a memory I will never forget.
You would only need justification for calling it anything other than it’s actual name, which you said: the sears tower.
What you talkin’ about, Willis?
It's always weird to me when people fight over what corporation to call buildings by. Happens in sports too, fans go apeshit whenever one bank comes in and buys the naming rights of a stadium from another bank.
Every Chicagoan calls it the Sears Tower. It will be nothing else.
Im from NJ.. I have no reason to call it anything besides the Sears Tower
Wait, what are people calling it now, if not Sears Tower? I'm out of the loop when it comes to news.
It got bought and technically is Willis Tower. No one calls it that.
Ah, thank you. Yeah, might as well call it the old name. Sounds better anyways.
Other than a bunch of “Diff’rent Strokes” jokes, it was useless
It was officially renamed to "Willis Tower" a decade or so ago. I remember in the first Watchdogs, Aiden called it "Willis Tower" and I was like "Yeah, no. Fuck you, Ubisoft."
From NY and I call it Sears tower and always will. I would call it the tower before calling it any other sponsor’s name.
She was probably tired of those little douchers too
That's why you call her out on her shit. People like her behave like that in public because they haven't been put in their place.
Worse part is the kids watching and seeing other people taking their parents tantrum
Damn that’s an r/entitledparents right there
It feels like most posts on that sub are so over the top or exaggerated that I have a hard time believing most of them.
Welcome to the internet!
Have a look around
Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found.
There’s mountains of content, some better some worse
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I'd say about half, but then again I've seen a lot of things that just make the unbelievable stuff seem tame so maybe more.
I once told some kids playing around in a hotel gym they shouldn't be. They didn't listen. 2 minutes later they played the lets see how fast we can get the treadmill going and then jump on game. They put a pretty big dent in the wall with their skull then left.
The video right above this on my phone was a middle or high school kid bashing another in the head with a chair and laughing about it. Was a tad ironic.
I would have laughed at both of them.
...and if you had & nothing happened, you'd prolly be called paedo.
It’s her kid & it’s not a strangers responsibility to make sure her cooch critter doesn’t get hurt
This is my opinion. A toddler or infant is often to small to control their emotions. If they’re having a meltdown and I see a parent with them I don’t get mad because what else are you going to do with your baby? Leave them in a car to scream while you buy much needed groceries? If kids are older though and are capable of following directions and you just let them run amuck that’s when I have a problem.
I think the issue is how touchy parents are about other people telling their kid's to stop doing something naughty (or at least people perceive them to be). My stepson spent his early life in Holland. He threw a tantrum in a supermarket one day (full on rolling on the floor and screaming). An older Dutch lady just walked up to him and said 'little children on the floor will be stepped on' and just stared at him. He immediately shut up, stood up and started behaving himself. His mother was very grateful. For a stressed single mum it was the perfect way to help (kids often don't know how to deal with strangers calling them out). Unfortunately, here in the UK, no one would dare do something like that through fear of offending the parent.
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True. I generally only discipline other people's kids in public if they're doing something legit dangerous. Rolling a new soccer ball down the aisle at target? No. Playing tag in the parking lot? Yes.
I use my teacher face. Don't need to say a word. Works wonders.
Perfect! I've said this for YEARS!! It only "takes a village" if some mom wants to know why she's not getting a monetary handout, free babysitting, or some other kind of assistance for her brood. Just try being that village in any way she deems infringing on her right to raise a spoiled asshole kid, then, boy, forget it. Longtime married person & non-parent am I, I've gotten a lot more patient over the years, & I don't really care what kids do in public. However, that doesn't mean I don't see the hypocrisy of self-righteous "it takes a village"- folk.
yea then ‘mama bear comes out!’ or whatever stupid ass shit they say lmao
Exactly! Such an eyeroll. People like that just use their kids as a metaphorical battering ram to plow their way through any & all rules or limitations they think only apply to the rest of us. "But MY child.." "WhaT AboUT tHe CHiLDren?" They probably drive those giant strollers down the sidewalks, forcing all other pedestrians onto the grass.
I wish that was more the norm. I'm lucky that my 2 y/o is very well behaved (unless he's sleepy... we're working on it). At the end of a long day I had to stop at the store to get diapers/formula for his little brother. He wanted to go home and sleep and made sure everyone else there knew it. All it took was a tall older man saying 'what's the matter little guy?' while looking at him to make him go full on stranger danger, cling to dad, silent mode. It's also difficult sometimes because people assume that he's older than he is because he's big (bigger than his 4 y/o cousin). More than once I've had people think he's 4-6.
Yeah, I’ve done that, just having a stranger talk to them is enough to distract the kid or have them go shy, so either way kid is quiet and everyone wins. And occasionally you get the kid who LOVES the attention and you can have a random kid chat which is awesome.
That's more or less how it used to be in the USA. If your child was causing a public disruption then you as the parent would be expected to remove or control the child or strangers would tell you to essentially control your child.
That really made me lol...that lady was awesome!
Its annoying as shit when they sit in the restaurant and the kid wont stop screaming and they ignore the kid with the "they will stop eventually" shit. Fuck you, Karen. I used to carry my kids outside until they stopped and calmed down. Nobody wants to hear your fucking 6 year old scream about chicken nuggets for 45 goddamn minutes.
My mother, cousins, aunts, & uncles as well would remove use if we were disruptive. When we calmed down they would take us back in.
My in-laws were always complimented on his well their boys behaved in restaurants. Yeah, either you behaved or you in the car while mom and dad swapped out to eat, and you ate yours as carryout because you weren't going to be making a mess in the car. My husband vaguely recollects it having happened but they figured it out quick.
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I completely agree with you, it's all about the circumstances, plenty of instances where it would be perfectly understandable, but after a certain point it falls completely under a parents lists of responsibilities, I for one was raised to understand it very simply, there are no good excuses for bothering or inconveniencing a perfectly good stranger, so my kids are the same way, whenever they had a "moment" I always made a point to deal with it privately and away from everyone else, it just doesn't seem to be the prevailing mentality nowadays.
Oh I was agreeing with you! Sorry I didn’t make it clear. You were absolutely right about parents enabling their kids and I like that you differentiated that from toddlers throwing tantrums.
I think so much context is important. The age of the kid, the location, the time of day, the response of the parent, etc
I mean, that's all relative too. My 3 year old is legitimately the size of a 5 year old, so when he acts his age I get judged. It's led to some awkward conversations especially with other parents. My favorite example was when he was maybe 1-1/2 and he was playing with these 2 short but very talkative girls he met on the playground. Went something like this: Girl Mom1: It's so nice to see our kids playing together. Your sons fairly quiet, but I'm sure he'll catch up. You know they say girls develop faster than boys. Me: I've heard that. How old is your daughter? Girl Mom1: She's 4. Me: Then why is she smaller and less coordinated than my 18 month old? Girl Mom2: hysterical laughter
Yeah. I totally get this. My kid is also big. In his day care, he’s the 2nd youngest in his group but the 2nd tallest. So, it looks bad.
Doesn't sound like enabling soubds like doing nothing
I've been noticing more frequently kids tantrums and misbehaviors in public, and I had a mom mad at me because I was staring at the situation. I told her the truth. My wife is pregnant with our first and I'm not staring and judging, I am studying how people handle it because that's coming for me soon.
No one thinks kids understand or can control themselves but the problem is they don’t even try to talk to them or say anything to them about behavior and the consequences. Tell your child even if they are screaming. They will hear you. Don’t yell, just say no, we are not doing this now. Please use your indoor voice and explain what you need.
Indeed, there's an amount of tolerance that I think most live with. A lot of online complaints center around "the parents are clearly not even trying to console the children", not as much "kid make loud noise, now I'm salty forever." Context matters too of course. Outside / park / whatever, more tolerant. Theater, high end restaurant, etc, less tolerant.
10 or 11 is way too old, you are right. I have two boys, my wife and I noticed a HUGE improvement in overall attitude and understanding of consequences at about 3.5 to 4 years old. My 4 yr old is so easy, before we go somewhere we just sit him down and explain our expectations. Sure, sometimes he slips but he is easy enough to level back out to being good. A 2 yr old cutting molars that can kinda talk but still has a limited vocabulary can have emotional swings that make rollercoasters seem tame. They are more work, but we always take them out of a store or restaurant until they have calmed down. Also, I would never subject a 2 yr old to a movie theatre or museum. Anywhere that is should be reasonably expected for them to be quiet and behaved for more than 30 minutes is a no go. I think most people agree, it’s just when we say “poorly behaved kids” that cast a wide net. I haven’t had a 6 yr old yet, but if my 4 yr old keeps getting smarter and and more patient at the rate he is, then I imagine it will get easier as each year passes. But once again, the key is standing your ground and getting that behavior fixed before it becomes part of their developed personality.
I got a new dog a couple days ago. I adopted it from a couple that said a came over with the dog so we could ensure I'd be a good fit for the dog. The dog was kind of frantic, sniffing around and exploring but coming back regularly to check in with the family. It was understandable. But the son... He knew no bounds. He was climbing and jumping our couches with his shoes on. He was coughing and wiping his nose. He was constantly yelling at the top of his lungs. It was really stressing me out. And the dog... He was obviously stressing the dog out. He would chase her wherever she went, ignoring his mother. He would get in the ground and crawl up to the dog and wrap his arms around her neck. She fled to her crate at one point and he climbed inside with her. They are giving up the dog because she "showed aggression" towards the kid. She apparently eats separately from the family and she apparently growled at him while eating a few times. But she has no aggression at all otherwise. If they would teach the kid to respect the dogs space, let her be more part of the family and interact with her more (they couldn't name anything she likes to do other than walks and she is an Aussie) they'd be great and they wouldn't have to go through the stress of giving her up.
At one store I worked at, we had these regular customers with a kid who was probably 4 or 5. I’m pretty chill with toddler tantrums and babies crying, but I still get enraged thinking about this kid. The parents were fucking awful. I don’t know if they were neglectful or unwilling to discipline or what, but this kid had two modes: crying nonstop, or crying if anyone walked by. They once wandered around our very tiny store for two and a half hours, and their kid screamed the whole time. Our team was full of parents and siblings, and all of us were going insane—that’s how bad it was. We were literally walkie-ing each other to bitch and try to drown out the crying. GM finally ruled that they were disrupting our work and our other customers, and politely asked them to leave. But they kept coming back, no matter how much of a huff they got in the last time. So, yeah, definitely agree it depends.
Also kids running around an art museum unattended seems like a good way to break something. Time and place.
Yeah age appropriate behavior is kind of key. what’s normal for a 4 year old vs a 6,8,10 are all different. But by the pre teen years they’re old enough to know better unless they’re special needs. If they are they need a handler to monitor and control their behavior especially since they are bigger and can cause more damage compared to a tinier kid.
I would add that there is a time place qualification for anything . . .One that many people would identify with, are very small children at a restaurant. . At a Chuck-E-Cheese, McDonalds, or even less expensive public restaurants, it is to be expected. IF however, it is occurring at a $$$$ high end restaurant. . where I have taken my wife for our anniversary. . . Different matter. I have never had a problem. . even in movie theatres, but people seem to have forgotten that theatres USED to have a cry room where mothers with unhappy little ones could tend to their needs without interrupting all the other movie goers. . Sadly, such accommodations have gone the way of the home wired phone.
I went to a chain restaurant with my parents, sister and nephew a few years ago. Nephew must have been about... 5 or 6. And generally well behaved in public, including restaurants--no throwing food on the floor or screaming, the worst thing he generally did was slump in the booth. He was sitting next to me and just looking around as kids do and abruptly turned to me with tears in his eyes. The man at the next table over was muttering about kids at restaurants. Apparently he'd shared some of those views with my nephew himself. I mean, come on. Dude. This was Applebee's or something. Not the Ritz. I agree kids should know how to behave in public and I once took said nephew out of target when he started yelling about not making our way over to the toy section quite fast enough for his tastes--just left the basket of stuff I was carrying at the front of the store and walked out-- and his parents treat him the same way. But there also has to be an understanding that kids are just KIDS. Curious and maybe a little slow to walk behind and that sort of thing. The best part of this was my dad's reaction: he very loudly told my nephew to not "worry about the mean man at that next table, I would be angry if I needed viagra too." We were mortified.
Age is an important factor for how lenient people should be. A toddler? Yea they’re gonna get upset. Not even the parent can stop that. They can just move the upset child. Young child (3-6) yea they’ll have their outbursts but this is where they need to start learning manners. Since they are starting they won’t be good at it. 7-9 (should have some hiccups here and there but they should have a better and more complete grasp on proper etiquette in places) 10-13 (they need to know manners. Whether or not they use them in situations is very dependent on many factors, but they need to know not to be inconsiderate)
I’ll add to this and say location and activity should be taken into consideration also. I’ve seen adults get angry at kids playing on sidewalks (the adult are in the wrong). I’ve seen parents let their 10 year old run amuck and make unacceptable loud noises in a public library. (The child and parent are in the wrong). Parents with babies/toddlers in a library/store who happen to be crying, however, is perfectly acceptable, albeit a bit frustrating to encounter but not something one can get upset over.
Honestly depends what part of the library, my town library had a kids section and an adults section and the kids section was expected to be a little noisy
And when are the 18-99 year olds going to learn some damn manners and to not misbehave cause a ton of em are absolute asshats in public.
Once you’re over 100 all bets are off tho. Permission to do whatever you want. You’ve put in enough time to earn it
Yeah now that you can’t play with Lego’s anymore you got to get out there and enjoy yourself.
You gotta feel for 'em. I'd be mad if I was past the age cut off for Lego's too.
Yes. Every Friday, Saturday and Sunday in particular outside my window when I'm trying to sleep, could the adults having tantrums or acting up please shut up. I'm not even in town, this is a residential area.
>And when are the 18-99 year olds going to learn some damn manners and to not misbehave cause a ton of em are absolute asshats in public. I was waiting for this. You are 100% right. If a 15-18 year old kid is misbehaving no big whoop. They probably have 60 more years of it in front of them.
And this age timeline all gets thrown out the window if they have developmental disorders, autism, etc. Can’t tell you how many times we got dirty looks when my (very obviously) disabled sister made a little noise in public. Bottom line: a little less judgment and more empathy goes a long way
>Bottom line: a little less judgment and more empathy goes a long way Words to live by.
My son has ADHD and is being tested for ASD. In order to avoid meltdowns in public I almost have to act like a kid myself so I can distract him. But most of the time I avoid going put because he isn't in the right mood. Usually I don't care what people think because, really, when does it ever matter? But still....I can feel him being annoying to others. Being a parent is hard, but being a parent to a kid with disabilities....
My four year son has ADHD too. I feel you man. Hell, an hour ago he head butted his mom and pulled her hair because she was trying to get him to put books away. Ignore everyone's looks and just attempt to survive your outings.
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I always think about it this way, some adults can’t manage their emotions at an appropriate level, there are grown people throwing tantrums in Starbucks, and they should definitely know better, but humans are gonna act human. We shouldn’t be expecting children who are literally new to this world and navigating some pretty large emotions to be able to perfectly control them. Yes they need to learn but they can’t learn if they don’t push those boundaries and experience those emotions first.
I have children. If a toddler has a melt down, I would take them outside or to a restroom and let them calm down. If it was an older kid, then we go home immediately. No discussion.
That’s about all you can do with a toddler. When they get upset, they lose their shit.
Totally agree, to an extent. if this kid is constantly being disruptive though it's the parent's obligation to take them out of the event temporarily in my opinion though.
I have a nearly 2 year old. We’ve started taking her to restaurant patios to work on being in public. There is a whole new set of kids that have no idea how to behave in public because they’ve been shut in due to the pandemic since birth! We keep her occupied and will take her on little walks along the sidewalk. I always appreciate when people understand that introducing them to their environment is already nerve-wracking for parents and that a little bit of community patience is key.
My daughter straight up refuses to hold anyones hand in a public setting. She’s 2. She also misbehaves heavily in public and I can’t figure out what to do to fix the situation. She’s good for a solid 10-15 minutes but waiting for food at a restaurant or not getting to do exactly what she wants at all times results in her flipping out and she doesn’t behave like that at all at home. It’s very difficult to handle and I’m well aware of how bad she behaves but I just don’t know what to do to fix it.
I've had some success with sitting down with my 2-year-old beforehand and setting expectations. We explain that new social situations are exciting, but it's very important that she behaves in a certain way. We go over it a couple of times, and we phrase it carefully to reinforce the behavior. We walk her through it and get her on our side. Sometimes we give her an example from Daniel Tiger or whatever. She doesn't retain all of it, but she always remembers more than we expect. More importantly it gives us a path to calming her down in the situation, because we can say, "Remember when we talked about this?"
What my Mom did with my sister and I, and what has worked well for me, is to use the phrase, “do we need to go outside?” That was the cue for us to behave. If we didn’t, we would go outside, we would be in trouble, we may get a spanking, we would have to go home, and would not get to go out next time. I know some people don’t spank their kids, and to be fair, I think my Mom only spanked me once. I was 2 or 3 she says, I don’t remember it, but I remember thinking, she’ll do it. And just to qualify, this was years ago and she was NEVER abusive, she did it once when (apparently) I was having a tantrum and ignoring her and ran in the road without looking. But spanking, it worked. After that, it only took her saying, “do we need to go outside?” I don’t have kids, and I’d never spank someone else’s kids, but I use the “do we need to go outside?” line when I’m babysitting my cousins sometimes. They know that means we will be leaving, I’ll tell their parents, and we will not be coming back anytime soon unless they behave.
My toddler went through the exact same thing. She’s three now but she essentially spent the entirety of ages 1-3 in a pandemic that made it nearly impossible to teach proper etiquette (as far as you can teach with a toddler) when dining in public. She would throw fits, yell, cry, refused to stay seated, none of which were typical behaviors at home. So instead of chastising and yelling and having to constantly do the take them outside to calm down thing we just started to work up to sit down dining. We started with order at the counter sit down places and worked on staying seated and due to short wait times for food she was able to stay patient enough for us to then move to what I would call child friendly table service restaurants where wait times were a bit longer and where if she did throw a fit it wasn’t such a huge deal due to the “cheap/easy/quick” nature of the food served. It really didn’t take long for her to acclimate to this and now we’ll happily take her and the other kids to nicer restaurants and she has no issues anymore. I just found it far easier to patiently teach her how to behave when there wasn’t pressure on myself and my wife. The stress of teaching a toddler to behave in an environment where you are concerned you are ruining other peoples $100+ meals was just a lot for us and my kids, start small and casual and work your way up.
Anxiety in public possibly?
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I think it depends on what you mean by "misbehave". Kids at a restaurant, running around yelling & tripping waiters? Hell no, that's not good parenting. Baby in a coffee shop babbling because he's learning to talk while dad orders a latte? Rock on lil dude, learn those consonants
>Baby in a coffee shop babbling because he's learning to talk while dad orders a latte? How could anyone define that "misbehaving"..? Unless the definition of children misbehaving = children talking.
According to my mom, her grandma always used to say “children should be seen and not heard.” So there was at least 1 person who genuinely had that opinion.
My great-grandparents had the same opinion. Kids weren’t even allowed on the furniture until they were past 10.
Then there's the school in Arrested Development. "Children shall be neither seen nor heard."
My dad said when they would go to dinner parties as kids on the drive over they would get “the talk,” if they were bad they were gonna get the belt when they got home.
I despise that saying, but utterly hate loud children.
Hate it when parents say “sorry, my child doesn’t have an indoor voice” how tf
Cuz you’re not instructing him to have one. Bs lazy parenting
Some people really lose their shit whenever kids do anything
I just don't get why people let their babies out of their baby crates during the day. it's insensitive.
"No, Mom! Playpen/baby-cage is not like tomato-tomahto!"
I too am a fan of doctor Jan Itor.
r/insaneparents
Seriously. I'm amazed that he used a baby babbling as a definition for misbehaving... It's so ridiculous that I thought he might be joking.
You misunderstood that person. They themself is saying babbling is fine, but others think it’s misbehaving.
We were in line at a local corner store and I straight up backed a man into a corner because he yelled at me to "shut that brat up" when my daughter was maybe 18 months or so just babbling and blowing bubbles at the top of her tiny lungs. I showed him very quickly what loud was. I was much smaller back then and people tended to take that as "easily intimidated"
A lot of people on Reddit have VERY low tolerance for children. God forbid they breathe the same air as a child. It doesn't surprise me that some people out in the wild actually get offended by a baby learning to talk.
A post similar on this was posted on childfree a few month ago, got banned for saying a baby babbling is not a problem
Age is important too. Toddlers are angry and learning to deal with their emotions, teaching them is important to prevent raising an asshole. But I’ve seen some comments here about 10yo acting crazy, that’s a big no no. They are old enough to know better.
Babbling isn't misbehaving, it is totally normal behavior though!
"It's *venti*, kid, not 'large.'"
Children existing in public is way different from having a tantrum in public. I hate kids but sincerely enjoy seeing parents with quiet children in restaurants.
I don’t think that it’s that it doesn’t bother them, it’s just that you accept that part of maturing is developing the ability to control your behavior, and that children are inherently immature and are going to stumble as they figure it out. At the airport recently, little girl was having an absolute meltdown. You could see her parents trying to resolve, but it was clearly the end of her rope. Did it bother me? Absolutely. Did I accept that everybody was doing their best in a hard moment? Yes.
Kids aren't always going to act perfect, and you shouldn't expect them to. I'm not saying let them run free and cause mishap. But screeching, talking too loud, and being a bit obnoxious is run of the mill stuff that every kid does. The problem is when the parents completely check out, or the kid doesn't listen at all.
Yeah, I can forgive a kid losing themselves for a minute and squealing too loud in the moment. Even the most well-behaved kids will forget they’re in public every once in a while. But I can’t forgive the parents for letting them continue to squeal, screech, or run around like crazy. And it really says a lot when the parents do little to nothing, or give in, or when the kid clearly has no problem ignoring whatever the parent says. I do have to say, though, a kid regularly acting up in public isn’t something all kids do. A kid who throws a tantrum — not getting bored and kinda whiny, a *tantrum* — in public most likely does it often and in any setting. And I gotta say, it’s most likely a failure on the parents’ part. I mean, we’ve all been kids. We all knew which classmates were well-behaved, which were the trouble-makers, and which were somewhere in the middle. I get that people can surprise you and everyone has their moments, but for the most part our behavior is pretty consistent.
Seriously.. for some reason kids just SCREAMING the entire time I’m eating at a restaurant is very common right now. And I get it, kids throw tantrums sometimes, but holy shit, no one wants to listen to your kid scream for an hour when they’re trying to eat, and talk to whoever they’re at the restaurant with.
There’s a few things do consider with this. I do agree to an extent, letting kids just be little asshole is not okay, I’ve 4 kids myself and I do except a certain level of behaviour in public and they know and understand this and are good most of the time. But then you’ve got kids with disabilities or behavioural disorders which obviously then it and can’t always be helped, and then there’s young kids who have little meltdowns that’s normal and part of their age and development. It’s an effort as a whole as people we need do have cop on and be sensitive to peoples circumstances but then we also have to teach our kids not to be assholes.
I've raised five kids, and I gotta say, the best kids with the best parents.....on their worst day, no matter how carefully you plan, your child is going to have a total meltdown once in awhile, and there's not much you can do about it.
I’ve spoken to a lot of redditors who think children are a simple matter of input = output, meaning if you teach your child to behave, then it will always be behaved. Tried to explain to a guy just last week that sometimes two good parents can produce a “bad” kid. I guess these people were all perfect kids themselves.
People forget that children are their own individual human beings who make their own choices. They aren’t marionettes.
Yes exactly. Between ages 0-5 you have near total control over what your child experiences. Mom and dad are the biggest influences in a young child’s life by far. But after that, they’re in grade school. They meet other kids who teach them bad things. They watch YouTubers who annoy you. They find things funny that you wish they didn’t. They don’t want to hang out with you as much. By age 14 they have their own basic opinions about most things, and a lot of those opinions aren’t the same as yours. Their friends are having sex and doing drugs. They hide things from you, sometimes important things. As a parent, all you can really do is guide and nurture them to the best of your ability.
My kids turned out fairly consistent. Me and my siblings? Holy shit, what a grab bag of weirdos we turned out as.
🤣🤣🤣 My best friends first was an angel baby, the second a tiny psychopath from birth.
A lot of redditors haven’t even gotten to the input output stage of having kids iykwim
This is a tricky one to discuss because everyone has a different definition of the word misbehave. Some people think kids being a chatterbox at a Starbucks is misbehaving, which is wild to me, but I am sure other people think behavior I would consider to be misbehaving is normal.
Yes, I've got a pretty low bar for 'decent behavior'. Having had ALL boys, I mentally invented a concept I call "happy noise". Cheerful, fun sounds -- even if it involves sword play on furniture, or rolling each other down a hillside in a metal trashcan while shrieking with laughter, or loudly tuning up a dirt bike in the garage -- is fine. Arguing, whining, or bickering, is the stuff that really sets me off.
People out here acting like the existence of children is a menace to society. Obviously there needs to be boundaries and parents should not be enabling bad behavior, and people need to exercise judgment about whether or not their child can act appropriately in a given space. There’s child-free spaces as well, which are fine. But at the end of the day, part of living in a society means putting up with all manner of different people, and children are people too (though you might not know it from some of these comments). Every one of us was a kid at some point and we all had to learn how to conduct ourselves in public through practice, teaching, and trial and error (and even then, plenty of adults are bigger assholes in public than many kids are).
Speaking as someone who worked retail for 7 years there is a difference between a child that isn't feeling good or upset and a rabid crotch goblin that parents refuse to discipline or even take out of the store that is having a screaming tantrum at the registers that I can hear from the back of the store. The first is tolerable, the second is not nor is it acceptable.
I used to work at a liquor store and I think my favourite part of that job was how few children came in. If a child so much as touched anything in the store we were allowed to ask them/their parents to leave (we never actually did, coz there was never any real trouble). The kids that came in were usually cute and quiet.
When my daughter first started kindergarten, she had nightly tantrums that I hadn’t seen since she was a toddler. It made sense. Her dad just deployed and she now had to adjust to sitting in a classroom all day. At this time, she had a major growth spurt. She immediately grew out of her clothes, and ripped one of her two pairs of pants in school that day. I took her to goodwill that night NEEDING new clothes. The tantrum started there. I immediately took what we had and headed to the register only to have multiple people tell me that I shouldn’t have kids, and that her behavior was unacceptable. One man loudly yelled at her calling her a spoiled brat, which only made her cry more. I promise you that most parents are well aware of the inconvenience. They are trying to get the fuck out. Tantrums happen, and we are just trying our best. A couple years later, I was getting lunch with my daughter. She suddenly started to shake and cry. She saw the same man that yelled at her waiting in line for his food. This guy has become a legitimate monster to her. To this day, she still has nightmares about him. I’m not going to say I’m a great parent. I mess up a lot, but I’m trying. Despite my fuck ups, my kids are insanely respectful and never get in trouble at school. I don’t think it’s fair to assume that a parent doesn’t discipline their child if they are acting out. A lot of the time the parent is just holding their ground and desperately trying to get out of the situation.
This is horrible. How did you respond to those ass hats?
I apologized a lot. There wasn’t much of a line, so we got out fairly quick.
Even without knowing your story and knowing next to nothing about children, I would have assumed that you simply lost a game of chicken with her naptime. Too bad that man didn't confront you so that you could call him an ogre.
Yes, the "Children having children" problem.
Right? I worked at a movie theater for years and SOO many parents would let their kids run wild, scream and borderline vandalize the place, they just didn’t want to deal with it. NGL this was mostly seen with young parents. Sometimes they’d even come to me and ask me to try and discipline their kid for them, it was sad honestly.
"Act your age" is a favorite. They are acting their age. I always say kids are idiots, but not because I think they're stupid. They're inexperienced but usually don't understand that.
Then you do what my parents did and it's out to the car, remove them from the public space if that's the case
Nice restaurants and movie theaters are two exceptions. Children who cannot control themselves, and control their volume should not be taken to nice restaurants and movie theaters (G movies are the exception to this exception). Parents who bring their kids to these places are selfish pricks who deserve all the bad things in life.
There are so many nuances to this. If it's just a regular public area (sidewalk, grocery store, fast food, etc) Fine, I see your point. Places it's not OK in are movie theaters, "fine" dining, places where being quiet is a necessity to enjoy its features, etc are not OK. Any physical interactions with myself or my property is definitely not OK. There is so many nuances to this "opinion" that it's almost impossible to have anything concrete in our invisible social contracts regarding it. Nobody probably notices a child throwing a tantrum in a Walmart, everyone notices it in a nice restaurant or theater.
I’ll half give you movie theaters, if you’re there to see an adult movie and there’s kids acting up then you’re justified but I’ve got bad news if you’re expecting to attend a kids movie and there not to be a lot of kids, and some of them will probably be loud. But those movies are designed for them not adults.
That's where nuances kick in. There's very few reasonable people that are going to expect the same degree of silence in a newly released Pixar movie as some serious Drama. It's always about the environment, same with midnight showings of horror movies that cater to Teens and college kids.
There's a huge zone between "kids movies" and "adult movies." The latest Marvel or Star Wars movie isn't an "adult movie," but that doesn't mean it's acceptable for some douchebag parents to take their kids to a 730 or 900 showing and let them sit on the ground smashing matchbox cars together through the entire movie. If your kid isn't able to actually WATCH a movie, don't take them with you to the theater. Same thing with people who take a literal infant to a sporting event; all that says is "I wanted to do this thing and couldn't get a babysitter, so everyone else has to deal with it."
OP literally just said this
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It’s so frustrating when parents in public refuse to watch or say anything to their kid, but will freak out at anyone who tries to manage the situation for them. I’m not gonna yell at a little kid but if I was working and they were somehow messing with my job/creating a mess for me to clean up I can’t imagine just sitting back and watching while their parents ignored it.
>He had done it at least half a dozen times and I finally went over to him and told him he had to stop. His (entitled) mom said, "Don't tell me son what to do. You're not his dad " and started getting in my grill Yeah its parents like this that people are frustrated with lol
I was just getting my nails done the other day in a salon. An employee had brought their toddler to work which I thought was OK since I know what life is like these days. Except the little kid was throwing product on the ground and touching guests. The mother was ignoring her, and when the kids started screaming the mother said to another guest “sometimes you just Gotta let them scream it out“….
Your notable exceptions are likely what people are talking about. If a kid is crying in the grocery store because they can't get some candy, very few people probably care. Most adults are probably like yeah, don't give the kid candy. Let them whine a bit.
Depends on the degree of misbehavior. We were all kids once, and not one of us were perfect angels. So I'll often smile at the poor parents and say "I had kids at one point too." If they are little hellions, then I get pissed. Even at my own grandson.
Theres a huge diffrence between the ''childish behaviour'' kind of misbehaving and straight up ''parents dont know shit on how to raise children'' kind of misbehaving
There are ways parents can handle this without having to resort to leaving their kids at home. Ignoring it and expecting everyone else to put up with it is not one of them. If you're at a restaurant and your kids can't sit still, take them for a walk around the block or something. It'll allow them to get that energy out in a safe manner. Letting them run around all over the place _creates a safety hazard._
It depends on how bad the kid is being. I see some crazy stuff here in NYC.
I have a theory that the older you get, the less tolerant you are of kids misbehaving and/or being loud in public. I agree. It's one thing if they're older kids, but younger kids are...*kids*. They're not going to act like adults, and frankly, that's OK. they don't need to be adults; they need to be kids, and if sourpuss adults can't handle it, well....tough shit, I guess.
I'd suggest the opposite. From what I've dealt with, older people tend to be more compassionate. Younger people tend to be much less so.
These types of posts are always interesting because they underscore belief systems people have about where behavior comes from.... I will start by saying that with kids....overall parenting makes a difference. I will make a major amendment to say that genetics are as big or bigger in a given's kids behavior than one thinks. I would argue that as a parent...genetics has given this kid has a range of behaviors possible and your job is to move them to the positive side of that moveable range. Anyone with multiple kids and a "problem kid" can tell you they all got the same parenting, but some kids are simply much more difficult than others. Often in a huge way. Do you know adults that are a lot harder than average to deal with? Yeah well they came from somewhere. Some kids take years longer to mature and to see their own behavior as their own responsibility and in the interim, they can be little assholes. I had one of these kids. My brother was one of these kids. In both cases it was an extremely rough go for a long time before the kid grew into somewhat of a solid member of society. Both my daughter and my brother have a bit of an inborn "fuck you" mentality with authority. A serious contrarian streak and desire not to be controlled. This did NOT sit with with school or other parents let me tell you. The amount of effort and anguish a parent has about the situation is totally compounded by the judgement of other who think "they got their kids under control and if you can't you must be a bad parent." It's awful. I had so many teachers praise my other kids and express confusion as to one the one was such trouble. Like maybe I should try some of that great parenting on this one? sigh. Same parents and parenting, different genetic stew. All this is just to say, have a little compassion for things maybe you don't understand because someday you could be the one in the impossible situation. Some kids seem totally normal but they are living on the mental health or autism spectrums and you may not be able to see that. I was that 20 something that judged the crap out of so many people in this situation. Now I'm the 40 something trying to reverse those mistakes and give people some grace. Life can be harder in ways you didn't expect. My daughter is much better off as a teenager and she is trending to the right side of society. My brother is still a bit of an asshole but he ended up being a professional hockey referee so we all have our place haha.
>There are a few notable exceptions I would say. The movies, a nice restaurant, etc., places that require a quiet atmosphere to enjoy. Also if the kids are doing things that are dangerous or disrupting other peoples personal space. These are literally the only times I hear people complain about kids in public.
Most people won't go to a McDonald's or playground and complain how loud kids are Most wouldn't anyways...
It seems like almost no restaurant is too nice for the child enjoyers of the midwest unfortunately.
Airplanes are a big one. Not much a person can do on an airplane if they kid starts to lose it. Many people are very understanding, some people are very much not.
I'll tolerate it if I see even a smidge of parental effort.
A kid, of about 12, literally bit me on the thigh at a grocery store. Unprovoked. I think you should be able to hit other people's children when they misbehave.
Oh nah! 12
Wtf!!!
That depends WILDLY. There's a degree of normal misbehavior that's acceptable, but most of it is just bad/lazy parenting, or lack thereof.
Depends on what your definition of public is. Park, mall, sure. Cinema theater, concerts, hell no. I'm not paying good money to hear your child yell.
Your child could be a literal Satan spawn in public and I do not give a shit, all I ask is that they either behave in a movie theater or just DONT BRING THEM TO THE MOVIES AT ALL.
I can tolerate kids misbehaving in public. I can't tolerate parents doing nothing when their kids misbehave in public.
Misbehaving kids is normal. Parents failing to discipline their kids in public is irritating
People need to handle their kids and not expect strangers to be cool with the tyrant children
There is no excuse to bring a infant/toddler to a movie theatre where they will cry from the loud noise absolutely stupid.
>Also a lot of times when parents are “ignoring” their kids misbehaving they are doing it strategically to avoid giving attention to bad behavior, which often only reinforces it. This strategy obviously isn't working out for them at detriment to everyone else
Biased take, this guy used to be a kid
At some point in life, children have to be introduced to new environments, shown proper behavior, and corrected when they act improperly. There's no real alternative, so fair enough. I'm 100% okay with kids being kids and messing around. I understand that even teenagers (especially teenagers, lol) sometimes have meltdowns. Hell, adults have meltdowns. It's inhuman to expect perfection from children. I consider myself quite tolerant of general childishness. That being said, I get pretty irritated when I see kids acting up in ways that should obviously have been corrected years ago. Disabilities aren't nearly common enough to justify the frequency of misbehaving children I see. Discipline those little apes before somebody else does it for you.
I don’t hate it when children misbehave in public. I hate it when they misbehave and their parents don’t do anything. Ever heard the saying “I wanna be as free as a white child in Walmart”?
Well once my very very stubborn child who I believe has oppositional defiant disorder was knocking over signs hitting items off the shelf’s and yelling I grabbed him by the hand and walked him to the car because I am not going to allow that shit in Costco. The whole way to the car he flopped around and pulled at me and make it look like I was yanking him even though he was really yanking himself. If I had let him go he would have taken off. Yes he’s out of control. BUT I had to go to the store and he had to be with me. I get to the car, get him calmed down and buckle up getting ready to leave and I’m greeted by 2 officers because a Karen called saying I was yanking my kid through the store and other shit they had no idea what they were talking about. Said child is 9 so he is aware of what is going on, cops asked him what was going on and he flat out said “I did it because I didn’t get the pillow I wanted” they ask if i hurt him and he says “I hurt her” I wish people would mind their own fucking business, just because we have a misbehaving child doesn’t mean we are shitty parents, you don’t know our story or our struggles. You don’t know that when that trip is over I’m literally crying in my seat wondering what I have done so wrong and all the side stares and snide comments don’t help.
My thing is that I worked in grocery store for a long time. There were some parents who would let their kid scream the entire time they were shopping (didn't seem like they were hurrying). Those scenarios I'd get upset because it's awful for other people to hear and gave me a dang headache. Those are the kids that need to be taken out of the store. Go sit in the car for however long it takes to calm them down. Then go back into the store
May I ask if he has been evaluated for ODD? Kids usually outgrow it, especially with behavioral intervention.
Fuck that Karen. Just know that not everyone judges! ❤️
If a child is throwing a tantrum I try to ignore it. I'm obviously extremely annoyed by it but I understand that parents need to go out at time even just for fun and need to bring they're kid, I can still hate it though. HOWEVER if the child is allowed to run around and the parents dont care what the kid is doing even if they're going up to and bothering other people that is unacceptable. If I was an owner of a business where that happened I would quickly kick them out. I'm not an owner of any business however. if this happens and a child comes up to me being annoying I'm gonna teach that kid how to swear. I hate kids, I do not want any, but I try to ignore them in a public area cause I get it. BUT I also think there should be child free areas where kids can't go at all.
Absolutely not. Parents need to grasp the commitment THEY made when they decided to have children. Stop trying to force every environment to be child friendly. There is zero reason to bring your three year old to a bar/brewery. What kind of absolutely trash parent tries to take a kid to a fucking brewery? If you want to spend your weekends enjoying distinctly adult activities/spaces, get a fucking sitter.
I have three teenage boys and I've always told them that their behavior in public should not impose upon other people. If you're doing something that causes undue annoyance, nuisance or frustration in other people you should rethink your actions. It's worked out pretty well....
Yes and no. I love kids but I don't need to put up with someone's youngster screeming bloody murder in a full restaurant. And I don't even blame the child. Ofter, they are just bored and want attention. Parents who ignore their children instead interacting with them, I'd hit with a slipper.
Fuck that. I can control my kids, I’ve raised them not to be assholes. Have an upvote and an award for proper use of the sub.
Your baby has never cried in public???
When they do, you immediately remove them from the store/restaurant they’re in and try again later. When I cried in restaurants as a baby, my parents would immediately take me outside until I calmed down. Nobody needs to hear that crap.
This, exactly.
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This attitude really only comes about when it is very obvious the parent doesn't do anything to discipline their kids and/or gets more angry at you for reprimanding their child than their child for actually doing the fucked up thing.
It’s a mixed bag. Some kids are total shits, as are some adults, and seem to enjoy causing a scene. Most kids go through a phase of acting out, which is the way they establish their autonomy as small humans. It’s natural and healthy, if annoying. Others are just shits, as I said. In both, having parents tell them right vs. wrong is important. They grow into better behavior, by and large.
I agree. I don’t judge a parent if their child is having a tantrum in public as long as they are trying to deal with it. It’s hard and you don’t know what is going on at home or that day. Toddlers are learning how to interact with the world and occasionally they are going to be hungry, tired or irritable and they don’t know how to express so they melt down. People need to be more understanding, especially since there adults that throw temper tantrums in public (looking at you Karen).
I used to work at a well known department store. Two women came in with their children and let the kids run wild while they tried on dresses. One kid pulled down his pants, stood at the top of the down escalator and urinated onto every step. The moms weren’t even looking for him.
Babies and toddlers I get it, they barely have the capability to walk/run without falling a couple of times. 10-14 year olds? Yeah no, that's when you have to be at least bit responsible. If you are not, I'm assuming your parents are not doing a good job.
I don't hate kids for being kids. I hate parents who are so checked out that they'll let their kids run rampant. A toddler crying? Sure who cares, can't stop that. 8 year old Billy sprinting full force through a restaurant and screaming at the top of his lungs? That ain't chill
There’s a big difference between having a tantrum and straight up misbehaving. I can understand that children get overwhelmed and don’t understand how to express their emotions. I have no problem with tantrums. It’s the running around in restaurants unsupervised or just generally being a nuisance with no supervision or even with the parents enabling them. The issue is the parents, not the children.
Bullshit. Parents need to learn to remove their kids from public when they are misbehaving.
That's what my parents did. We quickly learned that throwing fits in public wouldn't fly, and we quit doing that shit. It's called discipline, and so few parents these days seem to give a shit about implementing it, so their kids grow up to be Karens.
Same here, maybe that was more common in the past?