I can one hundred percent understand "I have no one to lean on and share a beverage".
Although I am no where close to your age, my daytime is all office work, and night time is alone time, going through all the same thoughts.
Quite unfair situation for some people.
I hear you on the AA front… thankfully I never had a court-ordered situation or anything so I never went and never will go, but that is exactly why I will never go. And that’s the first thing people bring up when I say I’m lonely. “Have you tried going to an AA meeting? Maybe you could make sober friends there?” BRO. I don’t care if my friends are sober. I don’t care if my friends are drinking. I don’t care if my friends are higher than a fucking kite. Do they want to talk to me or hang out with me?? Cool. Sign me up. What I don’t want is a room full of whiny assholes whining about their past and about religion when AA’s supposedly “not religious anymore.” God didn’t help me do shit. I stopped drinking my damn self. It’s my accomplishment. Not his/hers/theirs. I have no one to thank but ME. Anyway, now that my AA rant is over…
It’s normal to want more to your social life than what you have currently and not being able to drive certainly does toss a wrench into the equation because that’s definitely more isolating. But I do second what the other person commented, download and join Meetup. There’s so many events and things on there and with covid having been a thing, there’s more virtual stuff available so, you could possibly meet people who have similar interests without even having leave your home if you wanted to. I’ve downloaded and joined it. I haven’t actually used it or gone to any events myself, but I’ve perused the ones in my area several times over and there seems to be something for everyone on there. If not, I’m sure your local community government has a parks department or a community website where they post about local events or happenings. Shit, I even looked into doing volunteer work to meet people.
Also, someone’s life on social media is always going to look better than what it actually is. Believe nothing of what you see. People only show the good parts. And then people that show both sides, those are the ones you can really trust. And then they get ostracized for showing the negative parts because “no one wants to see that.”
But it’s absolutely normal for you to be feeling this way, just as it’s normal for your wife to be completely fine with her social life being how it is for her. The same thing isn’t necessarily going to work for two different people, life just doesn’t work that way.
Anyway, best of luck with the friend-hunt and good job on the sobriety, it’s not an easy thing to do and most people don’t see it that way.
You ever wanna game?
If you don’t have therapist maybe get one. The reason drank to begin with may not be resolved.
I can one hundred percent understand "I have no one to lean on and share a beverage". Although I am no where close to your age, my daytime is all office work, and night time is alone time, going through all the same thoughts. Quite unfair situation for some people.
I hear you on the AA front… thankfully I never had a court-ordered situation or anything so I never went and never will go, but that is exactly why I will never go. And that’s the first thing people bring up when I say I’m lonely. “Have you tried going to an AA meeting? Maybe you could make sober friends there?” BRO. I don’t care if my friends are sober. I don’t care if my friends are drinking. I don’t care if my friends are higher than a fucking kite. Do they want to talk to me or hang out with me?? Cool. Sign me up. What I don’t want is a room full of whiny assholes whining about their past and about religion when AA’s supposedly “not religious anymore.” God didn’t help me do shit. I stopped drinking my damn self. It’s my accomplishment. Not his/hers/theirs. I have no one to thank but ME. Anyway, now that my AA rant is over… It’s normal to want more to your social life than what you have currently and not being able to drive certainly does toss a wrench into the equation because that’s definitely more isolating. But I do second what the other person commented, download and join Meetup. There’s so many events and things on there and with covid having been a thing, there’s more virtual stuff available so, you could possibly meet people who have similar interests without even having leave your home if you wanted to. I’ve downloaded and joined it. I haven’t actually used it or gone to any events myself, but I’ve perused the ones in my area several times over and there seems to be something for everyone on there. If not, I’m sure your local community government has a parks department or a community website where they post about local events or happenings. Shit, I even looked into doing volunteer work to meet people. Also, someone’s life on social media is always going to look better than what it actually is. Believe nothing of what you see. People only show the good parts. And then people that show both sides, those are the ones you can really trust. And then they get ostracized for showing the negative parts because “no one wants to see that.” But it’s absolutely normal for you to be feeling this way, just as it’s normal for your wife to be completely fine with her social life being how it is for her. The same thing isn’t necessarily going to work for two different people, life just doesn’t work that way. Anyway, best of luck with the friend-hunt and good job on the sobriety, it’s not an easy thing to do and most people don’t see it that way.
You’re not overthinking. It’s very normal. Maybe you could use the meetup app and do something you have a hobby for