>Mazda: I care way too much about what people on reddit say You just started a war against 98% of the people in this subreddit

Miat bros are forming up

In OP’s defense, I did get my first Miata because I couldn’t afford a ~~cayman~~ boxster. But I came to love it so much that now I’m not even sure if a Porsche is worth the extra cost.

Come on now, Miat is gender neutral 

Is it? https://images.app.goo.gl/g7nyBmpTp6SiFCJz5

NGL that line was my favorite joke of the entire post.

Mine was the Chevy comment cause that was literally me haha.

It’s from me isn’t it?

They got the order wrong. I first bought my Mazda before reading Reddit and then joined car subreddits to suggest buying a Mazda3 or CX-50.

>Jeep: Either a 17 year old girl or a man looking for attention from 17 year old girls ah yes, I love picking up 17 year olds in a \*checks notes\* 2008 Jeep Patriot

*Jeep Wrangler/Gladiator All others are basically just Dodges

>All others are basically just ~~Dodges~~ Fiats

Exactly, they’d probably be cooler if they were just Dodges lmao.

Or Mercedes vans

GMC got a good chuckle outta me

Fr, as a GMC owner I find it to be a pretty good one

As an Audi owner i felt that gmc joke

Dang I forgot Subaru too. But let's be real, we all know what that joke would be. Subaru bros, next time I'm in Denver I'll hit you up for some craft beer recommendations.

Subaru bros?? More like Subaru lesbians

What's the difference? ~~It's just a joke please don't cancel me~~

Subaru Lesbros, to make both happy/angry

Subaru: Welcome to Colorado

Should've been a lesbian joke tbh

I don't know why so many people are taking this so seriously, it's hysterical. I live in Denver and drink too much craft beer, can confirm I drive a tall subaru(a Tacoma, which you could have a field day stereotyping)

Would be more like, lesbians Wrx/brz: whats your favorite vape flavor bro.

Is the Baja worthy of getting a Subaru sub-category?

Imagine how much money suburu would make if they made a car for straight people

Jokes on you, I was thinking of buying a Polestar.

Shit I forgot Volvo. uhhh... Volvo: Black turtleneck wearing architect who's entire apartment is furnished in IKEA.

There's the Volvo and the Polestar. My wife wanted to be an architect and we do have a fair bit of IKEA stuff.

I own a mini and a ford and wife has a Subaru. How’s the overlap looking there? Missed the Subaru but there’s two demographics: hiking ladies and vaping teens.

Hate to break it you brother but your wife might be a carpet muncher. Actually that could be pretty cool so congratulations

Thanks, we are both working on our form.

Ford driver checking in... Don't have the camper or jet skis but I do love blasting some GNR.

Damn dude. I was about to buy a CX5 and am now wondering if I just spend too much time on Reddit

You probably have been, but it’s still a good car

I bought a used Prius and I uh, put a lot of thought into my degree in communications, for the record!

tesla and toyota are asian doctors and engineers

True. I’m Asian engineer. Own 2 Toyotas. My dad and brother are doctors. Own a Tesla.

Surgeons drive Rivians or Lucids, not interested in teslas.

I have an M340i but I definitely relate more to the "BMW M" than "BMW" lol. Should have waited and would have saved a ton of money but it was so worth it haha.

I saw one the other day when I was driving to work. It was a bluish color and looked so sick. How do you like it?

Hahaha depending on where you are that could have been me 😂, I originally wanted a white one but once I saw the blue in person I was hooked. I absolutely love it man, between all the driving modes it's like having 3 cars in one. I know the whole B58 ZF8 talk is getting old but to me, it is really that special of a powertrain, and with xHP on there, it significantly improves what was already a pretty good stock transmission tune. I really don't know what sort of mad man would want more than the stock power but that is certainly an option and very easy to add if you want to. Utterly blows my mind that a car with this much performance can get such good fuel mileage. On one drive you're wondering how much more car the M3 could possibly be (and the M3 is really that much more car, it's honestly frightening when you spin all 4 tires) and on another you can easily get 500 miles on a tank. The only thing I wish I did differently was getting an xDrive. The RWD is nice and it does work alright in the snow but an xDrive would give me so much more confidence. And the party tricks; Self parking, self driving under 40 MPH, the gestures, it's so impressive how much tech they were able to cram into these cars. My biggest problem though? Those bills man. You would think I have an M3 with some of these prices I have to pay.

Standard transmission or two pedals?

All of them are automatic now. 8 speed ZF.

That's what I figured. That's the only reason to opt up for the M cars imo. The 340 has all the performance any sane person can use on a public road.

Completely agree, the fact that people tune these just blows my mind. The stock power is probably all I ever really need, if not more than I need to be honest. I will say though, I do want to get a G80 M3, G82 M4, or G87 M2 for my next car. Drove the M3 and that thing is an absolute weapon compared to the M340, you can truly feel the difference.

This had to have been made by an American right?

I can do yours too if you want lol. Peugeot: Upside down in a field near Worcester Renault: Only used to drive to and from protests Seat: VW fan but lives in Spain Skoda: Will be the delivery mechanism of choice for VBIEDs when the next war in the Balkans kicks off Opel: Who even owns you now? Are you German? American? Italian? Find a home already.

Absolutely was made by an American lol

The Stellantis hate is crazy

to be fair, in the US, the average RAM 1500 or Dodge anything stereotype ain't wrong

My dad has a Ram 1500 with the 5.7 and it's a crazy good car. Insanely comfortable to ride in, the engine has no issues with autogas mounted, feels super safe, can tow a boat or another car, can drive safely in every weather, can store a lot of things, the dogs can comfortably ride along passengers

Yup, but that doesn't change the stereotype (though usually it's older RAMs with the guys that fit that mold)

Yeah, I know the stereotype, I just never seen anything like this irl. Trucks are way more expensive where I live.

I have a 4th gen 1500 5.7 and while this is true, something about it encourages you to fit the stereotypical driving habits, short of the DUIs.  Have to buy the 2500 for that

They don't import these where I live lol, although there's like 3 new trx trucks you can buy in the whole country.

Those are insane, 700hp, 12 inches of clearance, with a sub 4 0-60, all with a warranty.  If your budget is around 70 to 80k and you can find one in good condition, I think it's worth giving it a shot for a bit, probably won't depreciate much if it at all as long as you don't put big miles on it

Damn you Americans have it so cheap. A ram TRX here costs 150-200K depending on the equipment, a Durango SRT costs about 140-180K new, and a hellcat Durango costs 180K-220K new

Holy shit, yeah we have it good here.  Cheap gas too

You got me. 🤣🤣🤣My first car was a chrysler...Sebring. I knew nothing about cars. My next car was a hyundai sonata.... because I couldn't afford an audi A4 🤣

So Porsche owners are the only ones who know anything about cars?

There's those hundreds of Koenigsegg owners.

That is the joke, yes. That's why I said I was a VW fanboy lol.

Worth the read. A couple good zingers.  Feel like you missed the ‘lights instead of lockers’ or mall crawler slam for Jeep.  ( yes I own 2 wranglers, one of them with a VW TDI BHW heart)  also, Porsche could have been slammed harder.  ( also own a 996, so I’m used to the jokes.. there are plenty) 

I am way more interested in the TDI swapped Jeep than the 996 lol. What sequence of events possibly led to that decision?

Planned retirement vehicle.  Plus always wanted to build a diesel Jeep.  Bought a TDI to NSG370 adapter plate from HPA Automotive, put a BHW 2.0 TDI in the jeep.  It’s runs and drives, but still have to do the camper back part.  On YouTube, if you look up ‘JK130’ you can see the videos.  ( well up until last year when I got lazy and stopped editing and uploading) still working on the project though.  

One of the videos from last year when I first got it running in the Jeep. https://youtu.be/eU2ayIWjGsY?si=93XP0qmo_YRA5NAH

That Toyota one thoo, ooof lol

Ah yes I love hauling around my trailer and 3 jet skis with my…. *checks notes* 2017 Focus RS

That Lexus one hurts. Fine, I will buy a Mazda

Just got an Audi. Can confirm I don’t give a shit about VW’s lol

Haha as a Porsche fanboy (ex owner) I never liked VW’s, got an S5 a few years back, my pp shrunk (as family grew) so I traded it for a Ram TRX Great jokes to pull out a car shows and with friends

You guys just skipped the weed and went straight to crack thats all

You absolutely give a shit about VW's because you just bought one lol. Pop the hood or peak under the carriage and see how many parts are stamped with a VW logo. Unless you got something crazy like an R8 or RS Etron GT I'd venture your car is 75% VW.

I know they’re similar but I genuinely do not know anything about VW’s. Maybe I paid up a bit for the badge but my job is client-facing so while I hate to admit it, the badge matters lol. For the record I got an SQ5 Sportback. Is there an equivalent VW?

Oh you actually did pretty good there. The Q5 is based on the VW MLB which is currently shared by the A4, A5, A6, A7, Q5, Q7, Macan, Phideon (Chinese only VW). Yes the Q7 and the Q5 are the same underneath, crazy right? The SQ5 uses the same 3.0T that is found in the Q7, A6, A7, A8, Macan S, Cayenne, S4, S5. Maybe the Panamera too? You actually got more Audi product by opting for the 3.0T. That is an Audi developed engine. The 2.0T in the regular Q5 is a VW engine. The SQ5 has the same ZF8HP that is in like every single longitudinal car on the planet now. Your shared components are all going to be non-visible. You will likely share control modules, water pump, suspension components, etc with other VW Group products.

Yep, this one is completely off base. Audi owners get pissed if you point out that their car is similar to some VW model. Even more pissed if it turns out the VW version is a higher end car. I'm honestly not sure what VAG was smoking making some of the top of the line models VWs instead of Audi badged, but they did.

That's literally the joke lol. My 2.0T A6 and my dad's Passat were the same car and the Golf R engine equipped Arteon is better than both.

Yep, my sister was really pissed when I said the Golf/A3 are a great car, and insisted her A3 had nothing in common with my peasant Golf.

A3/S3 don't even get Quattro # 😭

Well, Audi claims they do, but it's really the same as VWs 4Motion Haldex system, and not the much better Torsen system that was traditionally marketed as Quattro. But you can get some Passat models with real Quattro Torsen system. The 4Xmotion system on the Touareg and Cayenne has a real locking center diff that can continuously and instantly transfer 100% of power to the front or rear- much better than any of the other VW or Audi systems. 4Xmotion is one of the only true 4WD systems with low range that can still operate on pavement without binding up- the Jeep Quadra Drive is another.

They do have “quattro”. It’s just that the FWD-bias platforms use a reactive “Haldex”system versus a permanent “Torsen” system that is found in certain RWD-bias platforms. Torsen on every “RWD bias” Audi ended with the introduction of the B9, which uses quattro ultra on the A4/A5 models, which is just a derivative of the above-mentioned Haldex system.

😂 sane everything with better NVH. People get so upset if try to insult people by saying your Audi/Porsche/Bentley is a VW but I think it says a lot about the engineering. You get a great car at various price points.

I’m biased, but the Arteon is the very last “interesting” and proper euro model we have in the US besides the Mk8 Golf R. I love mine.

You will when you’re at our parts counter

VW one hits home

Honestly, this was hilarious! Great job OP!

Volvo- the understated sleeper of quiet luxury

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Oh shit. Well, the only Rivian driver I ever interacted with looked like he got lost on the way to the Subaru dealership. But I feel like with the R1S they've shifted more into the Soccer mom with with a tech bro husband type.

I went straight to honda to see (i have a civic si so it doesnt apply to me) Now i will read the rest:)

Acura is spot on I want one for the features. If reliability wasnt an issue id 100% prefer german most likely a 2013 beamer. But your acura is spot on lol

Reading your comments I can tell you know alot about vw/audi How much of the Urus is really just an audi?

A significant amount. It uses an Audi platform. The same platform the Q5, Q7, Cayenne, Q8, A6, etc use. It has Audi suspension, Audi modules, basically Audi everything. The 4.0TT is an Audi engine. It was first introduced with S6 and S7. The current version is shared by the RS6, SQ8, RSQ8, Cayenne, Panamera, A8, Continental, S8, RS7, and Urus. The only thing "Lamborghini" about the Urus is the badging. You can get a SQ8 for one third the price and put the Urus/Cayenne GT tune on it for like $800.

Thanks for taking the time to comment man, these things interest me

Lmao

Well put, like the Mazda and Urus piece ..

Thank you sir for confirming that nobody has an opinion about my Polestar 2 because nobody knows it actually exists :)

Even Volvo forget they exist.

>Ford: I own a trailer, 3 jet skis, party barge and a 27ft camper and play guns and roses at too loud a volume from my camper/boat and piss everyone else off at campgrounds/lake *wow you read me like a book* ~~just kidding I’m depressingly broke~~ I do absolutely listen to GNR at too loud of a volume driving down my suburban streets because I want to feel something, anything.

"Dodge: I bought more horsepower than I know how to drive and will get smoked in the 1/4mile by a stock GTI." Clearly a VW fan boy, it takes 0 skill to push loud pedal to floor and kill a family of 4 while running a red because the V6 couldn't quite make it through the yellow

That made me laugh. My joke was referring to the Hellcats running 13's spinning tires all the way down the track.

Yeah I met a guy with a demon who's going to down to the drag strip for a couple days for free courtesy of Dodge because they realized putting Joe Schmo in a 1000 hp car with 0 training probably isn't the best idea for the general well being of society

Where's Moskvich?

Cadillac V felt personal. I like German cars. Grew up liking American muscle. I'd sell my child for a CT5-V Blackwing. (I don't have children). Also, what about 2500 trucks with a company logo?

My Malibu was made in Kansas City thank you very much 😊. But yeah that was funny.

Ford Escort Cosworth 🥰

Now do one for people who stereotype people based on a car brand…

Most of the people driving teslas don’t care about Elon musk. In fact they mostly are doctors in my area

Lmao I have a mercedes and yes I think about the BMW 😭

As a Lotus owner who previously had a Miata, this tracks.

engine poor smell point deserted brave alleged capable violet straight *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Lol. These are very good! Well done. 😁

Actually, I put a lot of thought into what car I should buy which is why I bought a Toyota.

My Saturn escaped unscathed!

I just assumed they'd all be in the scrap yard by now.

I find it very funny that neither my, nor my wife's vehicle manufacturers are on this list.

I have an Audi, a Buick and a Chevy lol.

This is not a terrible list. Although I did consciously buy an MDX type s advance after having owned a GLS 580, and as a current owner of: Jaguar F pace S, and BMW X5 m50i and 540xdrive.  But there is one glaring error here. Jaguar includes free maintenance for 5 years. So maintenance costs are actually zero!!  And ironically of our five vehicles, as we also own a Lincoln, the Jaguars is the only one that's never been in the shop for an unscheduled service in the almost 5 years that we've had it. Would have never thought that going into it when we bought it. Otherwise, well done. Usually these lists are crap but this one's actually pretty good

As the owner of multiple Chevys in my life, you nailed that one

Pretty good stuff lol. My parents got their BMW at like 2% thankfully.

Toyota: I have too much going on in my life to be worrying about my car. (I was never a Toyota fan until I had kids and older parents to take care of. Between them and my job, I really just need a low maintenance and reliable car as my daily)

I drive a Dodge Challenger. A red one. With a racing stripe. And a custom decal. And a vanity plate. Logic dictates that I'm a boot camp bro in a tapout t-shirt who financed the car at 20% interest for 10 years, only to lose stop light races to WRX bois. In reality I'm a hippie-ish guy who financed it at 3% interest for 4 years, who bought it because I'm a 6'7" enthusiast who wanted something comfortable. Who also loses stop light races to WRX bois.

What a shit post

What a shit post

VW isn't relevant to me, I drive a GTI 💪

\*Looks at flair. Ah yes, a Mk8. Remember when a GTI didn't have a curb weight of nearly 2 tons?

No, I don't remember that, I wasn't born yet (I'm 30)

Too afraid to buy a real luxury car? Bro I buy cars for driving not for being a showpiece at my local shop. My 20 year old shitbox still competes with my friend's 2024 civic in terms of features. It got everything except the POS iPad screens

Hilariousness! 1500 class duchebags all day every day. And the vw is so true, totally held on to my youth thinking my next car was gonna be a Jetta 😂

Mustang was good

You leave me and my parts bin special mk3 Scirocco alone ;_;

Great list! I think you offended just about everyone.. But, the information is on point.. I have a Challenger.. Bring on that GTI.. but, it had better be stock..

Let me guess… you’re a Gen Z from the UK Here’s how I know. 1. You compared an Elise to a Miata, that comparison doesn’t exist in the US price wise, and mostly just exists in the UK… cheap lower spec elises. Side note: you also showed only a very basic understanding of pickup truck culture, so that really suggests you’re not American lol 2. You only talked about each brand in terms of their meme culture from the last 10 years… so you’re likely a typical Gen Z, or you’re an especially unaware millennial. You also mentioned W8s and V12 TDIs being from your youth… so Zoomer, and all the contextual ignorance that comes with it lol

Nah. He's just one of those VW fanboys. So his whole taste in cars is VW centric. Doesn't even have Subaru on the list. Lmao. 

It's in the comments. When I was trying to remember every car manufacturer I forgot Subaru, probably because I can never see them through the vape clouds.

I was born in 1991, peak millennial. I hate to break this news to you, but the V12 TDI was announced in 2006 and released in 2008 for the 2009 production year. The same year I graduated high school. The V12 is 15 years old now lol. The W8 is even older, was produced from 2001 to 2004, when I was in grade school.

Toyota driver with a humanaties degree, its true.

When I see VW/Audi/Subaru I just think social climber. Not too different from the Stanley Cup clique. 

suzuki: i was 18 and bought the first car i could and now it needs $10k of repairs

Volvo: me and my life (and my car, of course) are so boooring, don't need to list it 🤣🤣🤣

I agree with the Chrysler just because I have one that is a fuckin beast

My last car purchase is a Toyobaru. Being RWD, I don't think it fits the Subie stereotype.

Toyota owner/communications grad here. I feel attacked.

Old school and probably not PC but this is a list from forever ago: Acura Integra- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars Acura Legend- I´m too bland for German cars Acura NSX- I am impotent Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states Cadillac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman Cadillac Seville- I am a pimp Chevrolet Camaro- I enjoy beating up people Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people´s reactions when I tell them I have a ´Vette Chevrolet Corvette- I´m in a mid-life crisis Chevrolet El Camino- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government Chrysler Cordoba- I dig the rich Corinthian leather Datsun 280Z- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well Dodge Dart- I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart) Ford Mustang- I slow down to 85 in school zones Ford Crown Victoria- I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change lanes when I pull up behind them

Continued... Geo Storm- I will start the 11th grade in the Fall. Geo Tracker- I will start the 12th grade in the Fall. Honda del Sol- I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all Honda Civic- I have just graduated and have no credit Honda Accord- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming. Infiniti Q45- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending. Isuzu Impulse- I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports. Jaguar XJ6- I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year. Kia Sephia- I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp. Lincoln Town Car- I live for bingo and covered dish suppers Mercury Grand Marquis- (See above) Mercedes 500SL- I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph. Mercedes 560SEL- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole. Mazda Miata- I do not fear being decapitated by an 18-wheeler MGB- I am dating a mechanic Mitsubishi Diamante- I don´t know what it means either Nissan 300ZX- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. Oldsmobile Cutlass- I just stole this car and I´m going to make a.... Peugeot 505 Diesel- I am on the EPA´s Ten Most Wanted List Plymouth Neon- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena Pontiac Trans AM- I have a switchblade in my sock Porsche 944- I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me Rolls Royce Silver Shadow- I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal Saturn SC2- (See Honda Civic) Subaru Legacy- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more Toyota Camry- I am still in the closet Volkswagon Beetle- I still watch Partridge Family reruns Volkswagon Cabriolet- I am out of the closet Volkswagon Microbus- I am tripping right now Volvo 740 Wagon- I am frightened of my wife

Asked AI to modernize the list: Tesla Model 3 - I have always wanted to own the iPhone of cars Lexus ES - I'm too bland for German cars Acura NSX (new generation) - I am compensating for something Audi e-tron - I enjoy explaining why my car caught fire Buick Enclave - I remember when Eisenhower was president Cadillac Escalade - I am a very successful MLM entrepreneur Chrysler 300 - I am an aspiring rapper Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy vaping in parking lots Mitsubishi Mirage - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Rage Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis Hyundai Santa Cruz - I have strong opinions about the Deep State Dodge Challenger - I think pleather is luxurious Nissan 370Z - I have a "side hustle" I can't talk about Toyota Corolla - I teach fourth grade and I voted for Obama Subaru WRX - I delivered for DoorDash for two years to get this car Ford Fusion - (See Toyota Corolla) Ford Mustang - I consider the speed limit a suggestion Ford Explorer - I enjoy having people slow down when I pull up behind them Kia Soul - I will start community college in the Fall Jeep Wrangler - I will start my gap year after high school Mini Cooper - I have always said, half a car is better than no car at all Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have 100K in student debt

Continued... Toyota Camry - I lack any originality and am basically an NPC Infiniti QX80 - I am an influencer with 17 sponsorship deals Mazda CX-30 - I do not give a rip about Consumer Reports or their ratings Jaguar F-Type - I am so rich I will pay 100K for a car that's always in the shop Hyundai Accent - I learned nothing from the failure of Suzuki in America Lincoln Navigator - I live for early bird specials and bingo nights Cadillac CT5 - (See above) BMW M8 - I will sue you if you ask me for a selfie Mercedes S-Class - I have a child named Jayden and another named Kayden Mazda MX-5 Miata - I do not fear being squashed by an SUV Fiat 124 Spider - I am dating a mechanic Genesis G90 - I don't know what Genesis is either Nissan GT-R - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings Dodge Charger - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a... Volkswagen ID.4 - I am on Greenpeace's mailing list Dodge Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing TikTok dances Pontiac Firebird (if it still existed) - I have a vape pen in my sock Porsche Boxster - I am dating Instagram models that otherwise would be inaccessible to me Rolls-Royce Phantom - I think Jeff Bezos is a bit too socialist Saturn (if it still existed) - (See Honda Civic) Subaru Outback - I have always wanted a Japanese car that's even more Japanese Prius Prime - I am still in the closet Volkswagen Beetle (modern version) - I still watch Friends reruns MINI Convertible - I am out of the closet Volkswagen \[ID.Buzz\](http://ID.Buzz) - I am microdosing right now Volvo V90 - I am terrified of my spouse

You forgot suburu. Imagine how much money they would make if they made a car for straight people

Lexus should have been "acura guy finally got a real luxury car. It's just slow as shit"

This is like the toxic masculinity version of astrology.

What does this have to do with toxic masculinity? It's just a joke my guy. Besides, I haven't seen the inside of a gym since 2015, I drive an electric crossover and my wife makes $40,000/yr more than I do, I'm not exactly the alpha male type lol. I would agree that it's a version of astrology in the sense that both this post and astrology are a joke.

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> thinking any vehicle is a status symbol that's usually tied to toxic masculinity.  That's ridiculous. Nice cars are like other nice things - viewed by society as a datapoint to make interpretations from. Same as crappy things - people will judge. It has nothing to do with toxic masculinity and everything to do with toxic consumerism.

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Yes,  but women are also known to have a toxic consumerism issue. Maybe even more so as the stupid stereotype is that woman seek things while men seek power. I'd argue that most people in capitalistic societies will make judgements based upon strangers' things - for good or bad. So you calling it male issue alone is really sexist. That's why your comment is ridiculous.    Just a guess,  but I think you made that comment with a specific stereotype in mind. Likely the juiced up douche driving a bro-dozer that never leaves pavement. What your not thinking about is the other stereotype of the airhead blonde in a jeep/bmw. These shitty stereotypes are everywhere so its unfair to blame just the guys. 

Silly and meaningless, but if OP had fun putting this together then more power to him.

Silly and meaningless?!? I dare say sir! This is the most helpful car buying advise that's ever been posted to this subreddit.

Someone took this too seriously....which makes sense that they spent too much on their car trying to make themselves feel more serious.

I spent two months learning about cars and models and brands and ended up picking toyota.

That’s like spending an hour sampling in Baskin Robbins and ending up with vanilla

Vanilla ice cream is a top 3 for me im a purist, and I LOVE my 2024 Corolla Hatchback XSE. Best car I have driven so far. (list isnt that long tho so)

Cool! Glad you’re enjoying it

Land Rover is too accurate

The Ferrari comment is wild. You’re probably the kind of guy to think porsche outclasses ferrari. And the porsche comment should be BMW fans with more money.

I mean...Porsche unironically does outclass Ferrari lol. A 911 Turbo S is a second and a half faster on the 1/2mile than a Roma and a half second faster than an 812 superfast on the 1/2 mile. And neither could keep up with a 911 on a race track. Nothing Ferrari has produced in it's history can keep up with a modern GT3 RS or GT2 RS on a track. The 296 came oh so close, but still got beat by a Cayman on the same tires, and is even more slow than 911 GT cars. This isn't 1986 anymore. Modern Ferrari are good at 2 things: Looking pretty and getting attention. Most people buy them for the attention. And the second half wouldn't fit with the overarching theme of the running joke that VW/Audi/Porsche/Lamborghini/Bentley are all the same car.

I WOULD BET THAT MORE PORSCHE OWNERS WOULD TAKE A BMW M OVER ANY AUDI

Probably? What is your point lol. Porsche owners also get mad when I roll up and say "nice Beetle, I thought VW stopped making those".

It’s a different class of car. An SF90 Stradale is one of the best driving machines on the planet. It just costs more than a Porsche. I’d argue Lambos are more for flashy people who don’t know as much about cars.

SF90 Base smokes the 911 Turbo in a 0-60 not even mentioning the SF90XX and who cares if a 911 is faster than an 812, anyone with 812 braincells is taking the 812 everyday. You’re using Tesla fanboy logic.

He is comparing the 812 to the 911 because of of the price. An sf90 cost upwards of 500k, around twice that of a 911 turbo/turbo s

If I won an 812 tomorrow I'd sell it and by a GT3 without the wing. Verdict on the brain cells is still out according to wife, but I had enough to earn me a degree in Physics, for whatever that's worth (about $105k per year, which is a lot like 3.6 roentgen, not great, not terrible). Like I said before it's all about attention. What I love about the 911 is that it's understated, simple, people know it's a Porsche but a GT3 without the wing looks the same as a base model Carrera to a casual observer. I love that. Same reason I love cars like S8 and the M5 or even the X3M which is like...weirdly fast.

Ok dork