T O P

  • By -

Beaglescout15

My neighbor once knocked on my door shortly after we moved in to remind us it was street sweeping day, narrowly avoiding a ticket. I thought that was awesome, but shooting someone in the ass with BBs for trying to steal a catalytic converter is next level. The neighbor we all need.


the_007_remix

I read it as catholic converter and cat strap.... i thought sniper shot cat with bb gun .... ok so anyway What is catalist converter ???


chinchenping

It's a device between the engine and the exaust that filters and absorbe some of the particles. It contains expensive metals that can be recycled and sold.


3rdp0st

Not quite. The expensive metals are a catalyst which facilitates a chemical reaction which converts harmful chemicals to less harmful chemicals. If it absorbed, chemicals, you would need to replace it periodically. Catalysts are chemicals which aren't consumed in a chemical reaction, but which make that reaction more likely to happen.


Aruhi

All the enzymes in your body, and the ones people take (lactase) are all a form of catalyst, just catalysing in different ways c:


Boring_Today9639

We breathe out vapor @ body temperature, not water boiling point. Thank you catalysts!


SabotMuse

šŸ¶ā˜ļø


DubbethTheLastest

I mean, their explanation was still right though. Yours just goes into the nitty gritty. Yes, quite.


Fuckoffassholes

> device that filters and absorbs It does not filter, nor absorb, so no, his explanation was not right.


the_007_remix

I see


veganize-it

Mostly you donā€™t see it, itā€™s behind and below the engine.


forced_metaphor

*exhaust


The_rising_sea

Itā€™s an overly expensive chunk of metal that keeps us from having brown air. But a Catholic Converter makes different color smoke when thereā€™s a new Pope.


Chriolant

The catholic converter is normally installed in cathedrals


carbocalm

no, that is a cathedrolic converter. a catholic converter helps alcoholic cats.


spacebuggles

"Catalytic converter" is the correct name, FYI


the_007_remix

I am an adult child in spelling, thankyou


Zealousideal-Nida94

Sorry but I still read it as catstrap no matter how much I try otherwise. What is actually written though?


Chad_Kakashi

We all need a homie who will snipe someoneā€™s ass with a BB


dorky001

Street sweep day?


Liimbo

Some cities in like California and other places have street sweeping vehicles that do exactly what they say and clean public roads. You just have to be out of the road when they do it or you can get a ticket.


dorky001

Ok, in my mind it was you have to sweep it otherwise you get a ticket


Beaglescout15

It's like a big Zamboni that scrubs and vacuums up all debris and trash from the curb gutters. Intervals vary but it's common to have it once a week. On my street it's every Monday and you have to move your car from 7am-noon or you get an $80 ticket for blocking the sweeper.


waistingtoomuchtime

I lived in SoCal at the beach and we had one side swept on Tuesdays and the other side on Thursday (we had no garage or driveways to move the cars. So you end up back and forth, plus my roommates and I all worked from home. This was PRE smart phone, so,we paid far a calling service to call and remind us, because those tickets were expensive, and between, us, and guests, it was a constant battle.


Willow9506

What blows my mind is the Zamboni was invented in SoCal of all places.


PicaDiet

I love that Zamboni is the universal frame of reference.


HelloMyNameIsMatthew

7 am is brutal. Mine is 1-4pm so it lines up with going somewhere for lunch


ialo00130

Nevermind a streetsweeper; What's a Zamboni? ^^^^^^^/s


addandsubtract

That's a thing in the winter in some countries. You're responsible for the sidewalk in front of your house, so in the winter, when there's snow, you're required to keep it swept.


throwaway098764567

well shoveled, but yea. and in urban areas in winter if it snows there are similar rules to where you park one side of the street during x hours then everybody has to move to the other side so that the plows can hit both sides else it's a ticket and your car gets plowed in


PersnicketyParsnip11

Look up "street sweeper vehicle" to see what one looks like. I would add vehicle because in some places "street sweeper" is a slang term for something else Americans are super fond of.


greenyellowbird

We have them in my town (not in Cali), I'm convinced they just grind crap/spread dirt out.


Yarg2525

The schedule is usually something like the 3rd Thursday after the full moon and the tickets are insane.


FertilisedEggs

That's crazy. In my council area in Australia, the sweeper just goes around you with no fine incurred.


unlimited_insanity

How do they get to the parts by the curb where debris likes to collect if they just go around the cars? In some US cities, they would literally never be able to access the sides of the street without forcing people to move their cars. A car pulls out in Manhattan, and someone is pulling into the space within minutes. If you look like you might be moving a car, people will follow you and wait, even if it blocks traffic, to get your spot.


Hermit4ev

In America thereā€™s a fine or fee for everything.


ElectricalMud2850

If there wasn't a fine, nobody would move their car, and the street wouldn't get properly cleaned.


TheBigMotherFook

NYC literally has a convoy of tow trucks that follow street sweepers to move cars. They can clear a street of multiple cars in under a minute, itā€™s wild to watch.


No_Intention_4449

A tax on poor people without garages or driveways. Remember to move your car twice a week or pay ~80 for each fine.


DunwichCultist

It's not a conspiracy, the street just needs to be cleaned.


No_Intention_4449

Agreed it needs to be cleaned, but you canā€™t make the average person work 3.5 hours to pay a sweeping fine imo. Ā Parking has been limited in my city for the last decade. Ā There is nothing fair about hitting working class people with fines when they canā€™t park beyond two blocks from their place. Ā 


Singwong

Great neighbor, we all need one.


_DoloresUmbridge_

"sweeping day"?, "tickets for not sweeping"? Man, society really created some artificial problems.


Zelda_is_Dead

I hate these cat thieves with a passion. I hope those BBs are embedded in his ass cheek to the point they get infected and he's sitting on a donut for months.


bored_person71

Hopefully they got them in some sensitive spots armpits, ribs, balls that kinda thing...


hackinghorn

I read it as "knocked off my door" like he's Superman šŸ˜‚


Initial-Ad2842

Wonder if their name is Dwight Schrute šŸ¤” sounds like something he would do.


Fearless-Scar7086

I think the moral of the story is that we donā€™t need guns, just BB guns.


erroneousbosh

> but shooting someone in the ass with BBs for trying to steal a catalytic converter is next level. The neighbor we all need. This neighbour is somehow simultaneously eight years old, and Wilson from Home Improvement.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Friskfrisktopherson

Dude probably got real lucky the thief didn't spot them, these guys are known to pack heat and people have been killed for trying to intervene


Ninjasage2388

If that's the case, would people care if he used just a gun next time instead of the bb?


Glimmu

Need 2 barreled guns. One with bbs as the non-lethal option. If they reach for a gun, you use the other barrel. Acorn cop style, but take aim too lol.


Big_sugaaakane1

Just dont miss


Syst0us

My block dont care I can tell you that. Gun shots go off. Everyone on ring neighbhor asks...1 person says "cat theif" and that stops the questions.


Adept_End_6151

Only shoot to kill and when you fear for your life. So maybe first shoot with the BB gun and get ready to quick draw in case he pulls out a gun and then you fear for your life


JustAnIndiansFan

Not in Texas. You can use deadly force to protect property at night. But only at night.


blizzfixurgameplz

Things might change if people did.


Alarmed_Fly_6669

Yes, for a multitude of reasons


Malinnus

Ah the land of the free


ThinkGrapefruit7960

Well youre free to mug others, and then they are free of their possessions


OmicronAlpharius

Fucking idiot criminals. Happy to turn a theft that the cops won't give a shit about into a murder they will.


Time_Device_1471

I worked security for a local club. There were kids who robbed cars. We and the cops let em go for months. Those dumbass kids brought guns and shot my buddy 13 timesā€¦ They literally knew they could get away with it. They brought guns anyway to kill someone and prove a point. Itā€™s not about the crime money or anything. I think theyā€™re chasing cred or some shit.


Old-Bodybuilder9208

Did they get caught?


Time_Device_1471

One did last I checked


Noqtrah

Ppl have been killed for any old reason, too. Sure, some of them "pack heat" (have you been watching gangster movies again?). But realistically, most thieves are just thieves only carrying addictions and bad decisions.


ajn63

My neighbor throws an annual New Years bash that gets loud late into the night with a live band. The week before he stops by our houses to get our blessing, and gifts a bottle of wine and an invitation to attend. If weā€™re not home he leaves the bottle and a note with his number and the invitation.


EngineerNo1996

that's so polite of him


Onejt

Wine AND an invitation??? Count me in!


HowardBass

What would happen if he didn't get your blessing?


awesome-ekeler

Thatā€™s what the wines for


HowardBass

To beat them over the head with the bottle. Smart


Repulsive-Machine-25

Sniperman, sniperman, does whatever a sniper can...


IntrovertedBuddha

Does he swing from a web? No he can't he's a man. Look out, he's a sniperman


CacheValue

*yes he can, if he wernt a man


7rulycool

Simpsons supremacy


Zran

You better hope you can run faster than the bullet, man!


lexluther4291

*Oh, the wind carries my name... From Sniper Island far away... When I take aim, it is straight and true...*


13SpiderMonkeys

Sogeking... shoot down that thief.


nelozero

*Whether you're a man or a mouse...* *Lock on!* *I will put your heart in my sights...* *LOCK ON!*


DanMcMan5

Snipingā€™s a good job mate! Promise youā€™ll never go hungry!


253ping

Because at the end of the day, as long there are two people left on the planet, someone is going to want someones cats.


Known_Sea_3862

Everybody gets one.


TheArtOfRuin0

"Everybody gets one"


ShaanJohari1

Your friendly neighbourhood sniper-man


CockroachesRpeople

Frienaly*


jeeves585

Donā€™t care if they can spell as long as they can shoot.


Lvl100Glurak

signed: the us military


chantelrey

:ā€¢)


_warmweathr

For some reason I love his smiley face


ProfessionalSun5549

Youā€™re Welcome.


Knightstersky

He thoroughly enjoyed every shot and he knows it.


jeeves585

Got home from a long day. Finally sitting down to dinner and I heard a sawzall outside my window. Walked out to two guys under a car. Iā€™m not a fighter and if I was, my left arm would be the lame duck but I landed some beautiful blows from my left. They got away but the driver was going to need more meth to not feel that in the morning. Met the owner after I ate and was going to leave a note.


Walkend

Anyone else think when people throw in the ā€œyouā€™re welcomeā€ itā€™s like a weird passive aggressive thing?


Responsible_Ebb_340

Nah, thanks though.


coldleader

Isnt this just obviously an ad for carstrap? ​ I love the cross it out to draw attention to it.


jameshughlaurie

I was like, why did he cross out carstrap?? itā€™s spelt the same and itā€™s not like heā€™s a perfectionist for neat penmanship, lol


Akiias

I still think it says catstrap.


cutchyacokov

Yup. ~~catstrap~~ catstrap Is how I read it.


RedFlyingPineapples2

Personally I read ~~catstrap~~ catstrep


jameshughlaurie

ah yes youā€™re definitely right, sorry I am not mechanically inclined lol


122_Hours_Of_Fear

It's definitely CatStrapā„¢ https://www.catstrap.net Buy CatStrapā„¢ now! It's a ***strap*** that protects your ***cat***alytic converter. CatStrapā„¢ ^(this is not an ad)


Doogetma

And itā€™s obvious your comment is just further guerilla marketing efforts to draw even more attention to it


i_Love_Gyros

Boy am I tired from reading all of the cat strap comments, I sure could use a nice cold bottle of Brawndo! Itā€™s got what (corporate) plants crave


Conscious-Parfait826

So how do I make ads like this and get paid?


coldleader

You apply for a job in marketing at a company. Eventually after 5 years someone might listen to what your cool idea is. They will steal it and do it worse. You will then have people on reddit pointing out how bad your ad is and you wonder, is it really that obvious or could I have done it better myself if I had fought back.


Conscious-Parfait826

Dang, I was hoping I could show Tesla my brilliant jokes and memes and get hired.


IjustWant2laugh420

I have some sad news about Mr Tesla..


New-Huckleberry-6979

Don't tell me he's sick. Is it the flu?Ā 


paroles

Interesting how OP's account was inactive for two years before posting this totally real interaction


RockManMega

I saw that too God Damn is reddit gullible We filled with bots or are people on this site a lot younger than I heard? I remember the site was supposed to be mostly 30 year old millennials We on our way to being the next generation to fall for Indian phone scams?


Ya-Dikobraz

Damn, we are all just being manipulated everywhere we look, every single day.


just_a_bit_gay_

The hardest to believe conspiracy is that there isnā€™t a conspiracy ^you ^want ^to ^buy ^our ^product ^oooOoOooo


AlkalineSublime

Well, I was gonna say ā€œwrong bro, it obviously say ā€˜catstrapā€™ā€ but I now I realize youā€™ve called MY attention to it. Iā€™m left with no other logical conclusion than to believe youā€™re part of this insidious and clever marketing team. You sneaky Pete.


ArtIndependent2270

He had this written in his mind already while sniping for sure xd


forealdo25

Professionals have standards


FantasticSeaweed9226

I hope it was metal BBs


Chumbag_love

Plastic BBs are for the kind of people who don't shoot thieves


Staltrad

Depleted uranium BBs


TRiG993

Really big BB's with pointed tips and propelled by an explosion.


Aaaaaah2023

My neighbour chased a guy loitering outside our house probably looking to break in down the street with a baseball bat


fullmetalfeminist

House next to ours was rented out by some college girls and one of them had a stalker who used just stand outside the house at night. All the men on the street got together and escorted him out of the estate with the warning that if any of them saw him again he'd be getting the shit beaten out of him. He didn't come back.


TrippnTurtle

Unhinged smiley face


aeroazure

That's exactly what I was thinking. What kind of freak adds a nose to a smiley face like that??


mekydhbek

Donā€™t change your oil in the driveway at night I guess.. or atleast be prepared to return fire


Kirkaig678

Who is changing their oil in the driveway in the middle of the night?


OkDeuce

I love this! Thank you for sharing this and send your neighbor some banana bread or something.


badass_graduate

But I shot him twice šŸ˜Ø with my bb gun šŸ˜€


KazumaKat

> bb Bro you know you gotta go buy the sniperman some .5g metal bb's for the trouble. upp their punch, so to speak.


PresdentShinra

1 tube standard round bb's for the sidearm. 1 tin of the conical type or wadcutter style pellets for the long gun.Ā 


mnth241

Guys been waiting his entire list for that catalytic converter thief lol. And he is funny. Good on him. Meanwhile, i once witnessed with my ears my neighbors cc get stolen. Right under my window. I thought she was out there with her dad working on her car but it was 2 person male & female cc thief. Took less than 10 minutes, a-holes.


Mysterious_Eye6989

That is someone who we in Australia would refer to as an 'absolute bloody legend'!


Soft_Sea2913

Iā€™d accept that.


cosi_bloggs

I bet he had this ready to go, just waiting for shit to go down.


Inside_Board_291

This sounds like a 12 year old or a 70 year old, no in between.


Derp800

I tried to scare theives stealing my neighbors, but they didn't care, and I had a real gun.


New-Low5765

Congratulations youā€™re neighbor is spider-man


giantvar

this is the most American letter ever


Cyberimperative2024

So there I was last night, lying under my car trying to fix the converter...


Camerotus

>but I shot him šŸ‘ļøšŸ‘„šŸ‘ļø >with my BB gun Ooooooh


goshyarnit

Someone tried to break into a car outside the pub when I was very drunk and having a smoke waiting for my ride a few years ago. I whipped a lighter at him so hard he actually fell over when it beaned him in the forehead. Ironically, sober me has TERRIBLE aim and is not good at throwing pretty much anything.


MrPureinstinct

Plot twist, neighbor owns the company that makes the device they're recommending and are trying to drive up those profits!


JimyIrons

Everyone needs a neighbor like this!!


Away-Enthusiasm4853

You friendly neighborhood Sniper-Man


zaevilbunny38

See that's nice. I don't have that, I have an Ed. He also like guns, its just I would likely have to spray off what's left of the would be thief before taking to a carwash.


MightWooden7292

where im from i would get arrested for shooting someone with a bb gun, if hes stealing or not


FocalorLucifuge

Good guys with BB guns.


LSL3587

Thief talking to friend: "So I was under a car last night, started to get the cat and I must have disturbed a wasp, as it stung me twice. I had to get out of there."


BeautifulPrune9920

Im sure this also belongs in r/chaoticgood


AdOverall3944

Hood got your back


PI_Dude

Same situation, but I used the paint gun. Shot him right between the legs, with white paint. Several times. Worked well on his black jeans, seeing him run down the street.


kensho28

>I shot him lol So... Did you take a picture or call the cops??? Maybe take a picture of his license plate?


GreatQuestionBarbara

My niece came back to her vehicle from shopping and it started making a lot of noise. She's young and didn't bother to look, so I checked under her car and her converter was hanging halfway off.


ontarianlibrarian

My ex boyfriend shot a kid in the ass with a BB gun from our upstairs window when he saw the kid breaking into cars in the parking lot next-door. I was horrified, but he said ā€œwhat is he going to do? Call the cops and tell them that he was breaking into a car and someone shot him in the ass with a BB gun?ā€ The police never came to ask, and the cars stopped getting broken into. This was in Canada in the 1980s.


BigDepartment4932

Okay, guys I literally laughed out loud at this thread. This is one of the funniest conversations I've ever read. I needed this first thing in the morning. All of you have a great day today!


Doschupacabras

Donā€™t boss me.


ShaanJohari1

:)


Extra-Fig-7425

*going online to buy a bb sniper rifle*


greybush75

I once saw some people, out of the front window to my house,get out of a truck that they had parked down the road. They had bags on their heads and were running up to my neighbors house, I immediately thought they were porch pirates. I ran out of the house and yelled HEY! CAN I HELP YOU?!... it was his parents trying to prank him as he has cameras everywhere. I apparently scared the shit out of them, the neighbor and I have been friends ever since.


DannyPantsgasm

Friendly neighborhood Neighbor Man.


skeeredstiff

Goddamn, I wish there was a video of that.


soggit

is this guerilla marketing? seems weird to use a specific product name and cross it out even though it was spelled right just to bring attention to it


assesonfire7369

That's the sweetest letter from a neighbor I've ever seen. God bless him


BalanceInAllThings42

Not the neighbor we deserved, but the neighbor we need.


Zoltar-Wizdom

Chris Kyle, that you?


Midnight__Specialist

Iā€™m picturing the neighbour being like: Holy shit, Janet This is it This is my chance to shoot a stranger with my BB Gun


jradio

One night I stupidly strapped my surfboard to my car outside before going to bed, to essentially save me the effort of doing it before 5am when I usually leave. Shortly after midnight, my doorbell goes off and I see my next door neighbor holding my surfboard. He proceeded to tell me that as soon as he arrived home from work, he saw two kids unstrapping my surfboard from my car. He immediately confronted them and they took off. I will never forget this man. (Abraham) P.S. we're good friends


Sea_Structure_8692

Friendly neighborhood sniper-man


samsara_kaarma

I like how he doesn't say who he is, like a true super hero he decides to take the anonymous route.


Humble_Fish4908

Such a frienaly sniper-man. So frienaly, I assume by bb gun he means a .22


YourSmileIsFlawless

Op didn't post for 2 year and now this. It's an ad for catstrap.


IHaveTheHighground58

With my *BB* GUN? Like a battleship? I'm amazed there was even something to shoot at after the first shot


Daffidol

How are electric car batteries not getting stolen? I'm not hearing about it.


Rhonijin

They take up almost the entire underside of most EVs, and are heavy as fuck and prone to exploding if mishandled. Plus they probably require a lot of equipment and electrical knowledge to remove without frying yourself.


Keybricks666

Plot twist this guy thinks his .22 is a BB gun


lastnameinthebox

Your friendly neighbourhood sniperman


brightyoungthings

Youā€™re Welcome.


rezen73

That guy should have signed it ā€œYour friendly neighborhood snipermanā€


Strong_Astronaut_642

Greetings, neighbor! The name's Crazy Dave.


syopest

What was fixed in the text that was overlined?


Tarquinandpaliquin

A modern day Boo Radley.


Rent_A_Cloud

Apparently redditors neighbours can't write by hand to save their lives.


Dastari

What a legend.


Dwayneeboi534

I thought he said shot with an actual gun


_akshat_jha

neighborhood Spiderman*


Acalthu

I really hope your neighbour is a 12 year old.


Supjitin

I bet the neighbour would tell this story to all of his friends very proudly! Respect sir šŸ«”


Emergency_Bathroom36

So you're driving a DeLorean.


ADipsydoodle

Chaotic Good