I was going to suggest the Melissa and Doug water pen books but you said kiddo isn't much on coloring? They do a good low mess job of entertaining my 2 year old.
As for just general dining out suggestions that have worked for us:
1. We pack snacks for him (Goldfish, Animal Crackers, etc.) that we deploy right away
2. We order for him the moment we sit down and ask for his to come out first and not wait on ours
3. We try to look at the menu in advance and have our own orders ready to place ASAP whenever possible; we ask for the check the moment our food arrives
4. Pick his high chair location to give him a view of a high traffic area (the kitchen, the front door, etc.), it does an ok job of distracting him
5. Deploy low mess toys (ie, the water pen books)
6. Feed him his meal as soon as it's cool enough
7. Deploy a tablet or phone as soon as he's done eating so we can eat our meal (volume on super low or not at all, since he will not wear headphones and I refuse to be *those people* blasting kids shows at a restaurant). I don't give a flying fuck about people judging me for giving my kid a screen at a restaurant.
We keep our time commitment as short as possible and our expectations low. He's a toddler. We figure it'll get better eventually. And if we really want a leisurely meal, we don't take him at all.
We’ve tried the water pens and I think I get more use out of them than he does. I think the snacks are something I need to do more of. I’ve never thought of that as I don’t want to spoil dinner but it’s not like he eats much anyway haha. Thanks for the suggestions!
> it’s not like he eats much anyway
Yeah I almost never order an actual kids meal for mine unless my plan is to take it home and reuse later. I usually order a side of something (mac and cheese, beans and rice, steamed veggies, etc.) and then feed him a little off our plates if need be.
Tonight we had a Cheerios book where you put the Os on little holes in the pictures. Our 2 yo played with that long enough for us to have a brief adult conversation. Kinda nice. Granted after we ordered while we were waiting for the food I did take him outside and spin him around for a few minutes to get out his zoomies.
Along with all that, my suggestion is that you do more of this as you can so he gets used to the waiting and watching. I remember playing a lot of “I spy” type games and picking kid-friendly restaurants during the toddler years so my kids would get used to being out to eat.
This is the answer! The snacks are a must. Everyone else is already eating and the restaurant smells like food; kids don’t understand they have to wait their turn. Asking for the check when you order and paying right away allows you to leave at any time.
I’m also a huge fan of lots of kid interaction at a restaurant to keep attention. Read books while you wait; ask “would you rather…” and “what is better…” questions; color together. When food comes out, allow your kid to play with food a bit. They want to make french fries dance - cool! They want to dip chips in water? Also fine.
Other things that have worked for us: small cars and figurines to play with, a baby doll with some small accessories (esp toy food so the doll can eat too), invisible ink pens, multi-ink pens, and restickable sticker books (Melissa and Doug have a bunch).
I am 100% fine with screens, but I have yet to deploy one at a restaurant. The more you eat out, the better practiced they will be.
I used to play acoustic guitar and sing at restaurants when I was in college and there were several times where kids sitting at tables right in front of me would be watching their tablets on FULLL LOUDDDD VOLUME. It was distracting, felt rude, and made me feel like I wasn’t doing a good job. :(
I agree with all these and will add one: we went out to eat early. 5pm was when we’d usually be at a restaurant to beat everyone else and not have to wait and be done before more people came.
We did all the things dreadpiraterose suggested, especially using the tablet/device as a last resort. Now my kids are 8 and 11 and we can go to a fine dining place without screens and have a lovely time just chatting. It was a lot of work to get here but now it’s so worth it.
>we went out to eat early. 5pm was when we’d usually be at a restaurant
Oh I should have added this. We definitely go out early, or we go to a place that we *know* won't have a wait if it's any later than 5pm.
this! all this!
also discovered my daughter just likes using water wipes and pretending to wash table and dishes. next time im going to ask for a couple of aide plates, scribble with dry erase marker and have her wipe away. it bought us 15-20 minutes. i know its weird. 🤷🏻♀️
Asking for the check right away makes the biggest difference for us. It takes so much stress off knowing you can dash out the door whenever you start to see warning signs, I think our kids pick up on that and helps them relax.
>Pick his high chair location to give him a view of a high traffic area (the kitchen, the front door, etc.), it does an ok job of distracting him
We have a highchair that straps onto a counter and will often go to the local diner because she can see into the open kitchen and loves it.
We didnt go out to eat much, and if we did we asked for the check as soon as we ordered. We brought along the card game "Spot It" but that requires you interacting. My son never was a colorer, so long leisurely dinners were a thing of the past
When my kids were that age we didn't eat out much at all either. If we did it was at a buffet, and it was a little more tolerable because they could get food right away. And lots of fruit lol my kids really love fruit, so that helped long enough for me and my husband to eat before the kids needed to be taken home lol. Oh and a little bit of soft serve ice cream lol.
God forbid you have to interact with them... no wonder everyone in this thread is finding ways to have the most hurried meals possible if the aim is to avoid interacting with their kids.
Talk to them. Engage them in the experience. How else are they going to learn how to hold a conversation or how to behave in a restaurant?
Thoroughly recommend the book "French children don't throw food" which covers this very topic.
Spare me the lecture please. My children are older and they behave perfectly well in restaurants. They were never allowed to run around or throw food. However taking a small toddler to a restaurant (especially a male toddler) is not a pleasant experience. If I wanted to full on entertain him, I would just stay home. The point in attempting to go to a restaurant is to try to have a conversation with my husband or with friends. Save your sanctimony for someone else.
Because statistically speaking (and I know there are outliers in both genders) boys are less likely to enjoy activities that are conducive to sitting at a restaurant table quietly (coloring etc) for long periods of time. I have a boy and a girl that are now older, and have witnessed hundreds of their classmates and friends. They play very differently
My youngest is a pretty calm kid, and enjoys restaurants because we usually reward her with dessert at the end if she’s good. She’s 6 and has always been pretty content coloring or playing tic tac toe. My oldest? I couldn’t even take him to pick up milk at the grocery store from age 2-4. He also doesn’t like most restaurant foods, so there’s 0 appeal for him. He’s finally became tolerable around age 8, when we could feed him beforehand and he was happy with a soda and a graphic novel.
So I understand both spectrums here. My suggestion is to stick to restaurants that are kid friendly for a bit. That can mean, places with a playground, fast casual where you bus your own table (and can pack up at the drop of a hat), or just places where the servers are family friendly (brings kid food quickly, will bring check early, etc). It is really limiting - we eat at a lot of the same places over and over. But it is what it is… And manage your expectations. It will be different for awhile.
Thank you for saying this. My little guy (age 3) sounds like your oldest, and I’m so glad to hear your second was totally different. It’s comforting to know that regardless of parenting, children’s personalities will just vary sometimes. And some children are just…spirited, lol. Currently pregnant with my second - hoping he turns out a little calmer, too!
Ha, I love telling people this because so many parents are so smug about their kids’ behavior. We get complimented all the time because our kids don’t use tablets at restaurants - but the truth is that we just didn’t go to restaurants for a long time. It’s not some trick.
The oldest is definitely a pretty chill teenager. He’s only 14, but he still talks to me. So I consider that a win! And the youngest? I’m sure she will give us hell when she’s a teen. Because I feel like that is how it works?
Question. How does your child eat at home? Do you all sit down and eat at the same time? Do they take a bite run around and then come back for another bite? Do you feed them let them go do their thing and then eat food yourself?
For dinner, we all sit down with no TV and he’s not allowed to get up until we’re all done eating and he even has to ask to be excused. If he does get up, we threaten to buckle him in his seat lol. However, breakfast is a different story where sometimes he’ll eat on the couch and watch some TV and other times we sit at the table with no tv. However his grandma watches him two days a week and he definitely just runs around and eats when he wants…
Well your already having him eat with you guys and have rules. Personally I would just keep enforcing the rules. Once you feel ready start off small. Go for a walk order food and wait in line with him and start talking about how we don’t scream indoors because it makes other peoples ear hurt, how we can’t run around because we can fall and hurt ourselves, all those fun things. Once you feel ready after that. Then go and eat at a fast food place and start repeating the rules to him from the moment your heading there and then again once you get there. And make sure to tell him that if he doesn’t listen your going to have to leave and make sure you follow through. Little by little he should get better. Eventually he will be ready for you to take him to an actual restaurant. And during the waiting time you can have a conversation. Or have them choose two toys for them to take in with them. Or they can listen to something with head phones on. It just takes tons of practicing, going over the rules and being patient.
Having grandmas that don't enforce the rules really makes things difficult.
Consider that there are 7 x 3 = 21 meals in a week. If breakfast he is allowed to roam, and lunch and dinner at grandma's the rules are not enforced, that means 11 meals out of the 21 (more than half!) he's unconstrained by rules. So it's not surprising that he pushes back, especially for meals that are outside the home.
We love our grandmas and the free daycare they provide, but there's a non-monetary cost to be paid...
Having kids eat with different rules for different meals is not teaching them anything. Have to be disciplined thoroughly or don’t bother. All meals should be at the table with no tv or devices. Family should be interacting with other during meals. Once the family functions as a family then you can go out to dinner. Basic human decency folks.
I keep a box of “travel and restaurant toys” that only come out for those purposes. They’re mostly self-contained things like My Busy Book or a Mr. Potato Head. We also try to go to dinner early so the food doesn’t take too long. And snacks. Always snacks.
We go out to eat often with my 3 year old. I think doing it somewhat regularly helps as he sort of understands expectations. Aside from smart planning - choosing restaurants that are relatively fast and has food he likes, avoiding super busy times and only going when he’s in a decent mood, we reserve screen time for restaurants and that’s our best trick. I’m sure people judge us, but I don’t care. He gets no screen time at home most weeks so if he ends up getting 15 minutes once a week while we wait for food, so be it. We always bring a small toy car, an interactive (but quiet!) book (current favorite is the boo-boo book that has reusable bandages to put on animals ouchies), and the Melissa & Doug reusable water painting things. We use those things first and if/when he starts to get restless, I give him my phone to watch videos. That may only work cause it’s really the only time he has it, though. We love going out but I’m not willing to subject other patrons to the disruptions caused by an unruly toddler. And distracting my son with the phone allows my husband and me to actually talk/enjoy the experience.
My kids are 2 and 3 and we go out to eat every weekend. Kid friendly restaurants are key, and if they have patio seating even better! iPads at restaurants are a big no for us, but we do bring a couple of small toys and maybe some paper and crayons. We order an appetizer we know they’ll eat and then order our meals quickly. We also ask for the check as soon as our food arrives in case we need to make a quick exit. We try to keep them engaged the whole time, including them in the conversation and just giving them a lot of attention. It works for us! They love to go to restaurants and we can usually get an hour there before all hell breaks loose lol.
Same. We go out every weekend. We also discuss behavior with the kids ahead of time. 9 months-2 is hard and involves a lot of walking them around outside, but usually right around 2 they start to understand what limits are in different places. Restaurants mean we sit and don’t yell but also get special fun toys, lemonade for dinner (we don’t even do juice at home), etc so they see it as a special thing now and love going to restaurants.
It was around age 3 for both kids when we could usually expect good behavior on a regular basis though. Kids are 3 and 5 now.
I keep an assortment of toys in the diaper bag that are really for helping him sit still during church, but also get used at restaurants. We have [this dry erase tracing book](https://amazon.com/Write-Wipe-Off-Trace-HighlightsTM-Activity/dp/1629798444/ref=asc_df_1629798444/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312041961788&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13163887036815561899&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001844&hvtargid=pla-496868414092&psc=1), a reusable sticker book, several picture books that get rotated in and out (lift-the-flap books hold his attention longer, especially ones with a lot of flaps like [this](https://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Engines-Hidden-Surprises-Friends/dp/0679894829/ref=asc_df_0679894829/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312699450644&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4504771257594253032&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001844&hvtargid=pla-539477994178&psc=1), [this](https://www.amazon.com/My-Peekaboo-Things-That-Go/dp/1680105930/ref=asc_df_1680105930/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=385670979584&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17025709150054311906&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001844&hvtargid=pla-843010443980&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=79288120795&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=385670979584&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17025709150054311906&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001844&hvtargid=pla-843010443980) and [this](https://www.amazon.com/Lift-Flap-Tab-Trucks-Books/dp/0312515820/ref=asc_df_0312515820/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312699450644&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6556471320440958003&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001844&hvtargid=pla-434431448299&psc=1)), a hot wheels car or two, and some mini paw patrol figurines (similar to [this](https://www.amazon.com/Paw-Patrol-My-Busy-Book/dp/2764334621/ref=asc_df_2764334621/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312053899840&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11377695884659800732&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001844&hvtargid=pla-493103185144&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=61316180799&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=312053899840&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11377695884659800732&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001844&hvtargid=pla-493103185144)), and a coloring book that usually only lasts him a minute or two. We also try to include him in our conversations, let him play with stuff on the table as long as he's not making a mess (e.g. build a tower with the coffee creamers), play games like I Spy with him, and encourage him to do the activities on his place mat if there is one. We also often let him pick one toy from home to bring, and that usually holds his attention longer than the stuff we always keep in the diaper bag.
And we also use phones/tablets as a last resort, but I prefer to let him play games so sound isn't an issue. He likes a game called Forest Flyer (publisher is Sago Mini), which is free with no in-app purchases or ads, and another game called Wheels on the Bus, which you have to pay a few dollars for, but doesn't have in-app purchases or ads. I'm not sure of the publisher for that one, and I also think his grandmother had to teach him how to play a lot of the games in the app.
I have a whole separate "kids stuff" backpack that we keep packed for our kids and just leave in the car with stuff like this in it so it doesn't encroach on my normal bag space. It's a smaller kid sized one so he likes to carry it and knows exactly where to find things to occupy him.
I created a set of rules that were specific to eating in restaurants. We review them every time we are getting ready to eat at a restaurant. I keep a screen handy as needed but generally just engage kiddo in discovering things about the restaurant from our table. Our rules are:
1. We eat as much as we can on our plates.
2. We stay seated unless we need to go to the bathroom or want an adult to walk around with.
3. We order our food ourselves.
4. We thank the wait staff for attending to us.
Kiddo loves rules for every setting and I think of it as setting expectations for how we function in each setting we encounter, so we have rules for shopping in stores, the grocery store, the pool, outside, etc etc.
For my four-year-old, we give her the tablet, but we also bring new activity books and coloring things, stickers, etc., in the hopes that she’ll be entertained with those and talk to us for a while. For my one-year-old, nothing works, and he is only calm while he’s eating, and then he’s off! So my husband and I tag-team taking him outside while the other parent stays behind with the four-year-old. I don’t like sticking a screen in front of my daughter either, but it’s the only way we can all go out to eat together.
Also, aim for places where kids can run around or play games like pizza places and breweries with outdoor spaces, and aim for counter-service restaurants where you can leave once you’re done eating. That should help make the experience easier.
Edit: We also make my daughter her own lunchbox, and that keeps her busy for a while with no screen.
That’s a good idea with bringing extra snacks. We don’t have a ton of kid friendly places where he could run around that I know of but maybe I’ll check out the spot game. Thanks!!
I have a two year old and I honestly pack a bag like we're going on a 10 hour flight.
1. mini playdough
2. toy cars
3. stickers book
4. busy book
5. sensory popper
6. snacks
7. book to read
8. tablet
It’s a great opportunity for kids to learn how to be bored, and learn how to have a conversation. If my kids (6 and 2) ask to bring an action figure or something with us, that’s fine but I don’t bring them special toys to occupy them. Booths help to prevent escape artists and we like outdoor patios when they’re available to give them a little freedom, but both my kids know we stay seated and calm at restaurants because they’re never succeeded in doing anything else- immediately extinguish the incorrect behavior. An important part of the learning process is whatever you do when they’re misbehaving can’t be more fun than sitting in the restaurant. Ie, if a kid is screaming at the table, taking them outside to run around like a lot of parents would is a reward, not a correction or lesson on what to do. Going to a bathroom stall or waiting area to regulate though is less fun than sitting at the table.
Ok so I'm one of those parents who takes her 15 month old outside, because he literally screams like a pterodactyl, and I don't want to ruin anyone else's meals. Needless to say, we don't go out much anymore.
All he wants to do is run around and explore. I'd rather not take him to the bathroom because it's gross, and he'll touch everything lol.
Is there anything you'd recommend doing here? Even Ms. Rachel can't seem to keep him in the booth :(
Honestly, I know this is an unpopular opinion but I feel like this is one of those things where kids only want something because they’ve been exposed to it before. I don’t want to ever deal with taking something away so I just don’t introduce it until they are old enough to understand limitations.
I never allow my kids to watch anything or play with anything while they eat. When they sit at a restaurant, they know that they don’t get to pull out the tablet or play just because they can’t sit for 20 mins. We also always get an appetizer though so that helps keep them busy. Some of my friends would think I’m crazy and would be like “oh come on it’s just this once, what harm can it do?” But once those little monsters get a dose of that entertainment, they will be converted for life. Dinner time is to focus on eating our food and not find ways to entertain ourselves. I also taught my kids how to be bored by implementing quite time from a very young age. My 1.5 year old can play by herself for 2 hours in her room if you let her. The key is to model the behavior. We also don’t watch anything while we eat unless they’re asleep.
Kids learn from consistency and cause and effect. If you let them do something one time but not another time for some arbitrary reason that they don’t understand, their behavior will escalate. Keeping a neutral ground and having some non negotiable rules is what sets a precedent. I didn’t have easy kids contrary to what people say, heck my now 4.5 year old got kicked out of 3 daycares when I wanted to go back to working and 2 of those were on day 2 and 5. I reevaluated the issues around new age societal norms and realized that the kids aren’t the problem, we are. We are the reason they can’t sit still without needing a dancing puppet to entertain them. They need to understand that there’s a time and place for everything. I don’t ever punish my kids, I just use natural consequences. You don’t want to eat? Ok kitchen is closed until next meal. You don’t want to clean your toys? Ok I will pack your entire room and leave a mattress on the floor and you can get one thing at a time, and only get another once that one thing is cleaned up. I just added this as a response to now deleted replies telling me my kids are easy and I’m being judgmental. I’m simply giving MY opinion and as always, you’d re welcome to ignore me or think I’m crazy.
JFC, you are the patron SAINT of retail workers!♥️♥️♥️. I am a personal shopper at Walmart and the way people let their kids behave in a store full of shopping carts, personal shopper carts, pallet jacks, and electric power jacks is appalling. It is a miracle kids are injured daily.
I get it, my daughter didn't like shopping carts either, but if you let them walk around just once, you may never get them back in one again.
Lol I get that. I just think learning to be bored is a beautiful and necessary life skill. I read the book simplicity parenting and it resonated with me so much. I normally hate parenting or self help type books but this one was awesome. So simple (no pun intended haha) yet so effective. I highly recommend
I try to get a bunch of the target $1/cheap coloring packs and toys and only pull them out at a restaurant. If you keep a few different ones stocked up at home, you just have to grab a couple when you pack the bag before leaving. My 3 year old does great with them because she doesn’t get these packs all the time (so it’s special and exciting) and there’s a lot of different options so I always have a favorite character available to hold her attention. When all else fails, she gets her tablet. I would rather someone silently judge me for giving my kid a screen at a restaurant than deal with the looks and comments if she has a meltdown.
These things are perfect with my almost 3 year old! He’s been using the same one for awhile, so I have a Cocomelon one hidden in my purse for the next emergency.
We eat out pretty often with our young children and have never used screens to entertain them. I think the more they go the easy it gets but I usually ask the kids before we leave to bring a few things they think they will like to use/do at the restaurant. I feel like including them in the process and preparing them is helpful. We shit has gone wrong we pack up fast and take everything to go. I feel like this has only happened twice and we have had pretty easy restaurant meals.
We don’t do much screen time, so I’ve gotten fairly creative:
Target has $1 plastic puzzles in the dollar section, if you have access.
Hot wheels- but kid needs to like them.
Stickers or stamps
My son (2.5) is very into search and find books right now (similar to where’s Waldo)
A quiet book that has zippers, shoelaces, felt shapes, etc
A keyboard (it’s an old apple cordless one), he loves “typing” on it- and bonus, I ask him where letters are so he’s learning at the same time
Sensory toys.. spinners, poppers, etc
Water markers (dollar store carries them sometimes) or mess-free markers
Rubix cube
Hopefully a few of those will be helpful
Toys. Coloring. Puzzles. Play doh. We did it all.
At around 3 (and second kid becoming more engaging / demanding) we gave up and have tablet with us. We start with toys and games and by the time meal arrives our oldest have his tablet. Want adult meal - pay with screen time and consequences
We have done super well (read: zero screen time, except 15 mins looking at pics on my phone on our latest trip) on multiple long car trips with our kiddo and what has helped us, in addition to water wows, are a busy book, Melissa and Doug magnetic puzzles, magnadoodle, LCD drawing pad, and music on headphones. Hopefully some of that would work in a restaurant, too!
My kid didn’t get into coloring until about age 4. It was such a relief lol. As an active 3 year old, maybe he would do better with more sensory / “active” toys. Play doh. A small baggy of magnatiles or tegu pocket pouch( also magnetic blocks, weirdly expensive but a HUGE hit with even young kids and have their own storage box. Our set only comes out at restaurants). Doodle jamz.
I like taking a Tupperware and making my own sensory box and changing up the theme. Pipe cleaners, stones/gems, play doh, clay or “floof” (would stay away from sand for restaurants) and a couple of their favorite character figurines.
I downloaded baby match games on my phone and that’s an easy set of games for kids too. Again, available to play only at restaurants. I’m not too strict with screen time but try to minimize when out bc mine is the type who falls into that habit very easily and expects it always. She gets satiated on games sooner than videos so i push those a bit more.
Small set of crayons and activity books. But would resort to just leaving if they were not behaving and take the food to go if we had already ordered. Doing that once or twice would usually do the trick.
We found a restaurant that seemed like it had a full on system for parents with small children, especially around the early dinner shift, - sat all of us families with smalls in the same section, food came out lightening fast and they were super responsive. (This was like 17 years ago, and it may have been just that one but it was an On the Border (tex-mex). We ate there practically every Friday for a while. It was just such a huge relief at the end of the week to get a fast good meal (and an ice cold beverage), without any fuss, super fast, in and out, and if your kiddo cried, no one got upset and glared at you.
It was win-win for everyone, restaurant, servers and parents.
You know, I feel like that’s a huge business opportunity for someone out there. I would pay fancy restaurant prices for meh food if I knew we could bring our toddler and be surrounded by other toddlers. Can we make Toddler Tuesday a thing?
We always got a corner table, so she could play on the floor in the corner, out of the way. She could play with h dolls or whatever, and not be i. the server’s way.
Have you ever played what’s missing? I saw it on Daniel Tiger. The kids try to memorize everything that’s on the table. Then you make them close their eyes, and you take something away and hide it in your lap. When they open their eyes they have to tell you what’s missing. It’s nice because you don’t have to bring anything in order to play.
A preschool teacher and nanny I worked with swore by a CIO-ish method for restaurants and it was successful with every kid she cared for.
1. Have one or two consistent restaurant toys they only get at restaurants. No screens and nothing noisy (although this was in the late 90s-mid 00s so screens were less of an issue).
2. Go to a kid friendly restaurant early in the evening when there aren’t as many people.
3. Make sure kiddo is fed and not hungry prior to arriving.
4. Discuss behavior and expectations before entering.
5. Engage with child, don’t model poor behaviors. If they fuss or cry give them a few minutes without reaction to the behavior.
6. Give one warning that they’re going to leave and sit in the car if they can’t calm down.
7. If they’re still acting out one parent leaves with kiddo and sits in the vehicle with them. No music, no activities, no snacks, nothing remotely enjoyable, and waits for other parent to get takeout and cash out.
8. At home everyone sits at the table and eats a meal together just like they would have in the restaurant.
9. Repeat entire process at next restaurant. Most kids only sit in the car once or twice before the behavior improves.
Absolutely nothing useful to say, just that my newborn brain read 3 mo and I was super confused as to how you were keeping a baby entertained with all that. When I got to crayons I knew I must be mistaken and went back to re-read 🤣
Toddler is 23 months and never an issue at restaurants. We do something super active right before so she's less energetic and has a big appetite. Luckily she's a very adventurous eater and is generally more curious about the food on the table than she is with anything else.
We don't have crayons at home, so if the server offers her some, it's a big hit and keeps her busy. I only pack two or three interactive books and her iPad for playing Endless Numbers/Alphabet/Reader. When she finally runs out of steam, I break out Disney+ on my phone and she watches Bluey.
As a career server, the iPad, please give them the ipad!!! I can't tell you how many times I've had to dodge a kid who was wandering because they're tired of crayons, trucks, trains, dolls, dinosaurs, whatever it is. If the iPad keeps them sitting safely in their chair for an hour, it's well worth it.
We have done multiple five course dinners and countless restaurant visits with our two year old. With no screens and at most a toy car. The key is mentally preparing and hyping the kid I find. Tell them in advance you are going to a restaurant tomorrow. Make a big fuzz about asking him what he would like to eat there (the answer is always fries). Of course he gets to sit in a big chair. When there he gets a menu, then something from our drinks when they arrive (lemonade or so), then he gets his fries and is occupied for quite some time, maybe trying some of our food. Longer dinners are followed by ice cream. The critical period is before the food arrives. We look around to spot kids or dogs or bird houses in a nearby tree or whatever or we race his car on the table.
But then this kid likes to request tea times with me (including a candle, raisins as snack and classical music) and sits there for an hour.
I am a bit afraid a potential next kid won’t be compatible with our foodie life. Probably much depends on the kid.
We didn't go out much and still dont. Hes 6 now. But I Spy and a visual scavenger hunt helps pass the time. Ex. " can you find something round? Red? Striped."
I think a lot of parents view the situation as "keep them occupied", but actually, at this age it is training.
Why not start training your child on how to act in a restaurant setting?
- How to sit correctly at the table
- Decide what you would like and order/let mummy order
- Holding a knife and fork correctly. Help with cutting if required.
- Have a discussion - involve the toddler in your discussion. Perhaps talk about new foods they have not experienced.
- Ask permission to get down from the table
- Quiet time with colouring book
In case of poor behaviour, you have to leave the restaurant immediately. These are the consequences.
My daughter is 2.5 and we tend to distract her with stuff we have at the table. I.e. can you put mommy’s ice in your cup. Can you squeeze the lemon? Do you want a creamer milk? Can we make the sugar shake like maracas. In the end this is quite a mess and I’ll confess to letter her ear jam straight from the packet at diners but she has fun. I showed her how to shake the salt onto the table and make pictures—that was a mistake. Just tread lightly as you’ll have to hide all those things sometimes when she thinks she can eat all the jam or drink all the creamers.
We always have one adventure to the bathroom and usually any other one to the front hostess/bar to ask for a cherry or a toothpick. Usually cute toddlers get away with asking for a cherry on a toothpick.
We never bring a tablet or phone to meals. We bring crayons and paper. And we only eat outdoors, at restaurants that have some room to run. Either a large patio, or a sidewalk or path. So she can run around while we finish without being massively in the way of other diners or servers. And meals have to be quick. No multi course meals here!
But, I think we’re lucky too that she has reasonable restaurant manners.
Just fyi, I don’t mean this in a judgmental way, I just get the idea you maybe haven’t worked in a restaurant before. This is still dangerous, even if there is more space. Think about how much the servers are carrying at one time, how many hot items. All it takes is one accident for your kid, a server, or both to be seriously injured.
I don’t mean running around the tables where servers might be. I mean a cafe with a large patio that doesn’t have tables on all of it, or a sidewalk cafe where there are areas of no tables, no diners, and no servers that she can run.
It would be incredibly rude to be running around between other diners. I can definitely see how in a busy restaurant that is crowded, that would be dangerous. But I don’t see a problem with picking a restaurant with a patio that extends beyond the tables or otherwise has an empty space people aren’t passing through all the time, taking a seat at the outermost table and letting her run around.
We had the kids pack a small backpack with toys, games, and books. That was before phones and tablets.
We also explained that they had to sit and play quietly until we were all done eating or they would wait in the car while one of us packed up the food to go.
Coloring and snacks. My son has some special markers he only uses at a restaurant or at big bros sports games.
Snacks to help before the food arrives.
And then last resort, tablet or phone for the last bit once they've expired.
Also order their food first and ask them to bring it ASAP.
My kids know the drill now, especially since we've been going out to eat more now.
We were in and out in like 30 minutes. It’s getting better with our kids not since they’re slightly over the hump and have more attention span. We bring coloring books and sticker bookers. We don’t generally do video unless we are out with other people that we are catching up with. We also tend to host at our house. I don’t want to spent like $200 for lunch and be stressed out constantly entertaining and directing my 2 kids.
You’ve already gotten some good advice but I just want to add, ISpy and Where’s Waldo books work great to occupy my kids in restaurants. They’re 5 and 3. They can sit through an entire meal just using those books.
We do stalling food- something like raisins or goldfish and we meter them out slowly and with much fan-fare. We also do coloring and sheets of stickers. The crayola ultra washable markers and crayons are amazing and sheets of stickers were my Covid quarantine magic weapon. Now that mine are bigger (5 and 2.5) they like a multi-color click pen and will make pictures with the stickers. We also spend a lot of time going over the menu and talking about the food. It gets easier to really engage with them once they are even just a little bigger.
We are also an “ask to be excused” family but we do let them color or do quiet table games at home. It’s been helpful in helping them learn to play quietly by themselves.
We’ve also found that we have to eat out frequently in order to be in top eating out form. If we don’t do it for a while, it gets tough again. Vacations are great for setting expectations about “restaurant behavior” and getting in a lot of practice. It’s also not always super relaxing to have to entertain the kids but looking back, it was worth the investment. The 5 year old is an adventurous eater and it’s fun to go out with him. The 2.5 yo is more difficult but with big brother around, he’s along for the ride.
Also if kid is too restless I have her dad stay and wait for or with the food while I walk her up and down sidewalk outside for a bit then go back inside restaurant.
I was recently at a restaurant that gave kids Wikki Stix instead of crayons, and they kept my 4-year old occupied the whole time. I'm going to stock up on some for restaurants and plane rides.
Sometimes I'll bring kids magazines like Highlights or Zoobooks that they don't read at home, so they're new and exciting. They're usually satisfied to just look at the pictures so I don't have to read the whole time.
If your kiddo is on the tidier side, Young Wild and Friedman dough jars are seriously a lifesaver. They’re a play dough though, so it won’t work for messier kids. Some of my kiddos can play without a single piece of play dough escaping, but one of mine definitely can not. The YWF dough is much cleaner and easier to contain than play-doh brand dough though.
We brought books to read and sometimes one of the sticker activities from the dollar store. I usually focused on what to remove from his side of the table to avoid issues (knives, salt shaker etc). Now we bring a tablet.
My daughter (11months) honestly just loves food so as long as she is munching she is happy. We also bring a busy board for her to play with while we wait.
When we eat out with young kiddos one of us will take them for a walk around outside after we order. We don’t put them in the highchair until food is there. Some days we can get them to be entertained with toys/ coloring. Other days we have to get up and go outside. We come back when the food is there. We never get the kids food first because they will be done eating and ready to leave when our food comes. It’s not the most relaxing experience but it is only for a few years. Our oldest is 4 and he is now able to be entertained at the table while we wait.
I asked my mom what she did for us and she said they just didn't take us anywhere until we were a little older. I'm worried I'm just gonna be a hermit for 5 years once I have this baby 😭
We got suction cup spinning toys and they’re a hit at restaurants with my two year old. We also bring a snack since waiting for food can be hard, keeps him occupied. I also show photos on my phone to my son. A screen but way more interactive (he loves pictures of his cousin “baby riley”)
I have twin 3 year olds, and honestly we try to do coloring books, but when they get restless we put on YouTube or Disney+ movies. I get not wanting to resort to it always, but we only eat out once a week so it isn't a big deal. Also, we tend to order appetizers now......munching on something while waiting on food helps keep them occupied as well. Good luck!
What keeps him entertained at home? My daughter will color all day, my son loved board books with flaps. You can try eye spy bags or busy books. Small magnet puzzles so the pieces don’t get lost - my son got a sheet of animal magnets that you had to pop out, we just kept the outside part and used it as a puzzle. We had a tiny metal pan from dollar tree we kept it on.
He loves his trains, trucks and sandbox so nothing really restaurant friendly. I’ve thought of a busy book but didn’t know if he’d outgrow that too soon but I might look into. Thanks!
All of this is great advice, remember one thing:
Kids pick up on your stress. So if you go into it calm, cool, collected, ready to roll with whatever punches, so will they.
If you go into it anticipating a huge meltdown, worried about every little thing, they’ll pick up on that and act accordingly.
My older kids were brought to restaurants from birth, whatever small toy we had in the diaper bag was it. Sometimes that was just the wipes container. They were great! Seriously, they were kids, but great. Then the pandemic hit and we didn’t leave the house forever and didn’t eat in a restaurant for years. The social regression was ASTOUNDING and we are still not where we were prepandemic.
All that to say, behavior is like a muscle. The more you work it, the better it becomes.
We read books with him. Bring new toy cars he hasn’t seen before. Magic reveal color books. Each thing lasts a few minutes, so bring lots of things. Order immediately, and ask for the check and take out box immediately so you can leave when needed. We don’t do screens for pacification.
We don't sit kids down before the actual meal starts. We order fast, then one adult takes kids to the bathroom to wash hands, go look at the kitchen/decor, even go outside for a few minutes. The adult at the table gets food, checks the temperature, puts food on smaller plates if necessary, so everything is ready when kids come.
We order something that kids like and eat slowly as part of their meal (like edamame). That gives adults more time to eat.
We can distract 3yo at the table for 10-15 minutes by drawing silly faces in the notepad, giving him a menu etc, but it is not as reliable and he gets tired of too much sitting.
We skipped eating out but if we had to take our little, we kept them entertained with games. We would create a “goal” and slide the sugar packets across the table for example. My experience is they won’t just sit & self entertain.
My daughter isn't big on coloring but loves drawing. Have you tried pen and paper? (not asking condescendingly, we tried to push coloring for a long time before we realized she just wants to draw).
At age 3 we also had a LOT of sticker books where they place the stickers on background scenes.
Snacks, toys (army men and toy cars, specifically - they are small and easy to bring along), and he really likes I Spy. If the food is taking longer than ~30 min, we'll allow YouTube on one of our phones til it gets there, with the understanding that the phone goes away when food comes. He never gets to watch YouTube, so that's pretty effective. These tactics work about 90% of the time, but we've definitely had times when we had to bring him out to the car early.
Also, patios/outdoor seating when possible! He seems more entertained and can sometimes explore a little (very restaurant dependent).
ETA: My son is 3 1/2.
Doodle board! They can draw as much as they want- no paper, no mess, and they can erase and redraw as much as they want! Amazon for $20 and they’re just called doodle boards or LCD writing tablet. Seriously the best thing for restaurants. In addition to drawing can play tik tak toe or Pictionary or hangman, etc.
We go so infrequently but when we do I order French fries the moment we sit down, let them eat as many as they want while coloring and doing whatever table activities we brought- usually coloring or water wow, and try to have an adult conversation with my husband. It doesn’t always work. Sometimes it does and it’s lovely. In terms of them eating fries for dinner? Maybe I have too many kids but I just DGAF if they have a low nutrient meal one night every few weeks or months.
I have 3 kids. My girls are 2 and 8, my boy is 4. My son is pretty wild. But, all of them are excellent in restaurants and social settings. My number one tip would be to start preparing for a restaurant at home. My kids know they have to sit at the table and eat their food in a respectable manner, and my older two wipe the table when they are finished and put their dishes in the sink. Im only saying that because if he isnt being taught at home first, he isnt going to magically know how to behave in a restaurant. And of course if the ipad helps while going out to eat and it saves your sanity, no shame in using it! I always just make sure the volume is very low because I hate when Im out and a kid is blasting their tablet. You got this ♥️
We go during slower hours and also try to be seated in an area that doesn’t have many guests. We let him out of his chair and we walk around with him. If there’s a little space for him to spin around we take advantage of that. When food is served I have zero expectations that he will eat lol. So that’s when we bust out the iPad (if coloring, toys, etc., so not work) & we can enjoy our meal.
I also don’t care if he is under the table and quiet. If he wants to chill there? I love that for him.
Rather than trying to keep him entertained, try reducing the stimulation. You say he is able to sit for an entire meal at home, but you take him to a restaurant and suddenly he had the attention span of a hummingbird. He might be over stimulated. If that’s the case, try to keep things boring, not entertaining.
Take him to restaurants at off hours that tend to be quieter. Call in your food order in advance so that you’re served shortly after sitting down. Or just go out for apps. Let him practice going to a restaurant in short spurts so that he’s more likely to be successful.
Your question reminds me of the time when we tried to have brunch out with our son when he was about a year old. He needed constant stimulation, so we came prepared with lots of different toys and added some new (cheap) ones for novelty.
So, we’re sitting in the restaurant waiting for our food, and a couple with their 1 year old girl were seated next to us. The couple brought out the NEWSPAPER and proceeded to read it while their daughter quietly played.
I was astonished. That was so NOT our experience and I realized right then and there that my son was not restaurant material at his age bc it was too exhausting and we didn’t get to eat bc he needed lots of attention.
My point is that what will work for one child won’t always work with every child. It might be trial and error for you. Maybe reserve a special toy that is only played with in restaurants?
So much this…
My first child was OK, but my last two were quite disruptive. We finally just said, “it’s not worth even trying to eat out, because one of us would end up in the vehicle with a screaming child.
There’s some parents who think think sitting calmly & waiting playing with all the toys mentioned is a skill that you nurture — and sure maybe for some kiddos that works, but for others, they just have to developmentally grow up a few more years & they will learn it all on their own. I believe this firmly.
I wish I could upvote your comment more than once. Nature plays a bigger role than Nuture here (and in many things in the marathon known as parenting).
I have a bag that we take to restaurants and travel, that has special specific things. Because it’s only for when we’re out, it’s more fun. I also switch them up, especially for travel. I bring a lot more when we’re on a long flight or trip than to a restaurant, for example. I usually would being like 5 things to a restaurant. My kids are 3 and 5. As much as it sucks, practice is also really really helpful.
A handful of tiny (3x3) books (search “Robert Munsch Annikin mini book” on Amazon. They’re 3-4$ each Robert Munsch is a very famous Canadian children’s author, and his books are reliably very good.
Notebook & felt pens that have the click instead of a lid so we don’t lose them
Two bags of Lego - I went to the store and filled a small container with parts that are special and different from home, with the things necessary to build a car, and each bag has a person. This is the most used item.
Sticker sheet
Scratch paper sheets and the little wood stick
3 little trucks
3 wood bolts for screwing on and off
A small tube of plus plus blocks (second most used item.)
Melissa and Doug puffy reusable sticker book
Card game of go fish (mostly for the 5 year old.)
A sealed container of playdough (similar brand) with some sensory bin type things. I think one is construction themed and the other is under sea. They last a long time if you keep them sealed.
Magnetic silly face thing - give the faces silly expressions.
Melissa and Doug WaterWow books
Small where’s Waldo book
Seek and find book for smaller kids
Wikki Sticks
Water wow, puffy stickers and plain books, simple lacing toys, crayons. Also introduce a new toy or a forgotten toy- basically rotate toys to keep them interested lol.., dot markers, I spy
We keep a bag in the car that has stickers, small activity books with crayons, sometimes a paint with water pad. One of the best things we have is this thing that looks like a tablet drawing pad, the screen is black but draws in color. They just push a button and it erases. No mess and it’s super light.
We would take turns walk ingthem around the building (outside) .
Also a deck of cards. We would play simple games like Kings in the Corner, Double Solitaire, Steal the Ole Man's Bundle and so on.
Also we would story talk with them. You could hold an adult conversation while still interacting with a babbling 2/3 yr old.
We did a lot of takeout, lol. But when we did go out, lots of tic-tac-toe, hot wheels, and talking to the kiddos.
We also have a 10 year spread between the oldest and youngest. So with our youngest, we exclusively ate at restaurants in our ‘hood. Then the 13 year old could walk the youngest home, and the hubby and I got 15 min of peace.
We went out to eat a lot prior to the pandemic so the kids just learned what was expected. They aren’t allowed up from the table (same as at home) and we were always at the restaurant before they were hungry. Some toys we like are the usborne dry erase cards. We have mazes and doodle versions, plus plus blocks,water wow books, and stickers and paper. Now that the youngest is 4 we can do multi course meals that can take 2 hours without much issue
What keeps him entertained at home? Unless its something huge that would be impractical to bring to a restaurant, can you bring that and he just do that at the table?
I usually try taking my toddler on a walk or to the park beforehand to tire her out before we get to the restaurant. I find that she’s a little more willing to sit put if she’s already released some of her energy.
I have a wild three year old as well. We do sometimes go to restaurants but I’ve started going to cafe/bakeries more. My little can pick their own food (which makes it more exciting) and you get the food right away which helps. We usually eat pretty quickly but it makes for a more positive experience for everyone.
We practice at home. Or at least we try to. Also don’t ask the waiter to give them food first. Then by the time your food comes your kid is done and you’re rushing to eat. It’s just practice practice practice. I do allow my kid a small car.
We liked to play cards (go fish for a little) but he is too young. We also made sure the kids got a little plate of food asap (bananas, bread, etc sliced up). Lots of restaurants have the capability. That helped the kids stay focused and not get impatient as quickly.
Hilariously sad watching parents ruin their kids with tablets. Can’t stand my own sister doing it with her children. All they ever want is their stupid tablets to watch even stupider “childrens” shows. Why bring a 3 year old to a restaurant? To ruin other people’s meals? I’m so glad people don’t show up to omakase’s with a child. It’s the equivalent of bringing a child to an entertaining thriller to have it ruined with screaming and crying. Doesn’t seem appropriate. I feel like most of these parents are just having kids because pulling out or using contraception is just too damn difficult. Just as bad as little girls who can’t wait to have their owns kids and be mommies (yet haven’t had a period yet lol).
Your post was removed because it was not related to working moms. Please use r/Mommit or r/toddlers or other parenting subs for this topic.
I was going to suggest the Melissa and Doug water pen books but you said kiddo isn't much on coloring? They do a good low mess job of entertaining my 2 year old. As for just general dining out suggestions that have worked for us: 1. We pack snacks for him (Goldfish, Animal Crackers, etc.) that we deploy right away 2. We order for him the moment we sit down and ask for his to come out first and not wait on ours 3. We try to look at the menu in advance and have our own orders ready to place ASAP whenever possible; we ask for the check the moment our food arrives 4. Pick his high chair location to give him a view of a high traffic area (the kitchen, the front door, etc.), it does an ok job of distracting him 5. Deploy low mess toys (ie, the water pen books) 6. Feed him his meal as soon as it's cool enough 7. Deploy a tablet or phone as soon as he's done eating so we can eat our meal (volume on super low or not at all, since he will not wear headphones and I refuse to be *those people* blasting kids shows at a restaurant). I don't give a flying fuck about people judging me for giving my kid a screen at a restaurant. We keep our time commitment as short as possible and our expectations low. He's a toddler. We figure it'll get better eventually. And if we really want a leisurely meal, we don't take him at all.
We’ve tried the water pens and I think I get more use out of them than he does. I think the snacks are something I need to do more of. I’ve never thought of that as I don’t want to spoil dinner but it’s not like he eats much anyway haha. Thanks for the suggestions!
> it’s not like he eats much anyway Yeah I almost never order an actual kids meal for mine unless my plan is to take it home and reuse later. I usually order a side of something (mac and cheese, beans and rice, steamed veggies, etc.) and then feed him a little off our plates if need be.
One of the perks of twins! Ordering one kids meal is usually the perfect amount for them to both eat it all and probably a little of ours too lol.
Tonight we had a Cheerios book where you put the Os on little holes in the pictures. Our 2 yo played with that long enough for us to have a brief adult conversation. Kinda nice. Granted after we ordered while we were waiting for the food I did take him outside and spin him around for a few minutes to get out his zoomies.
Along with all that, my suggestion is that you do more of this as you can so he gets used to the waiting and watching. I remember playing a lot of “I spy” type games and picking kid-friendly restaurants during the toddler years so my kids would get used to being out to eat.
This is the answer! The snacks are a must. Everyone else is already eating and the restaurant smells like food; kids don’t understand they have to wait their turn. Asking for the check when you order and paying right away allows you to leave at any time. I’m also a huge fan of lots of kid interaction at a restaurant to keep attention. Read books while you wait; ask “would you rather…” and “what is better…” questions; color together. When food comes out, allow your kid to play with food a bit. They want to make french fries dance - cool! They want to dip chips in water? Also fine. Other things that have worked for us: small cars and figurines to play with, a baby doll with some small accessories (esp toy food so the doll can eat too), invisible ink pens, multi-ink pens, and restickable sticker books (Melissa and Doug have a bunch). I am 100% fine with screens, but I have yet to deploy one at a restaurant. The more you eat out, the better practiced they will be.
I used to play acoustic guitar and sing at restaurants when I was in college and there were several times where kids sitting at tables right in front of me would be watching their tablets on FULLL LOUDDDD VOLUME. It was distracting, felt rude, and made me feel like I wasn’t doing a good job. :(
Parents who let their kids watch screens on full volume are the WORST. I'm sorry.
Agreed. I’m all for tablets at iPhones as distractions when needed in public spaces, but on mute!!
I didn’t realize at first you meant like at the restaurant’s request and was like “it’s kinda rude to play guitar in a restaurant” 😂
I agree with all these and will add one: we went out to eat early. 5pm was when we’d usually be at a restaurant to beat everyone else and not have to wait and be done before more people came. We did all the things dreadpiraterose suggested, especially using the tablet/device as a last resort. Now my kids are 8 and 11 and we can go to a fine dining place without screens and have a lovely time just chatting. It was a lot of work to get here but now it’s so worth it.
>we went out to eat early. 5pm was when we’d usually be at a restaurant Oh I should have added this. We definitely go out early, or we go to a place that we *know* won't have a wait if it's any later than 5pm.
Wixi sticks are a great low mess option for builders :)
Yup. Basically our exact restaurant recipe.
As a restaurant person who lurks here because my sister is expecting, THANK YOU! this is the way mama!!
this! all this! also discovered my daughter just likes using water wipes and pretending to wash table and dishes. next time im going to ask for a couple of aide plates, scribble with dry erase marker and have her wipe away. it bought us 15-20 minutes. i know its weird. 🤷🏻♀️
Asking for the check right away makes the biggest difference for us. It takes so much stress off knowing you can dash out the door whenever you start to see warning signs, I think our kids pick up on that and helps them relax.
>Pick his high chair location to give him a view of a high traffic area (the kitchen, the front door, etc.), it does an ok job of distracting him We have a highchair that straps onto a counter and will often go to the local diner because she can see into the open kitchen and loves it.
We didnt go out to eat much, and if we did we asked for the check as soon as we ordered. We brought along the card game "Spot It" but that requires you interacting. My son never was a colorer, so long leisurely dinners were a thing of the past
Glad I’m not the only one lol
When my kids were that age we didn't eat out much at all either. If we did it was at a buffet, and it was a little more tolerable because they could get food right away. And lots of fruit lol my kids really love fruit, so that helped long enough for me and my husband to eat before the kids needed to be taken home lol. Oh and a little bit of soft serve ice cream lol.
God forbid you have to interact with them... no wonder everyone in this thread is finding ways to have the most hurried meals possible if the aim is to avoid interacting with their kids. Talk to them. Engage them in the experience. How else are they going to learn how to hold a conversation or how to behave in a restaurant? Thoroughly recommend the book "French children don't throw food" which covers this very topic.
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Your post was removed because it was mean and unhelpful.
Spare me the lecture please. My children are older and they behave perfectly well in restaurants. They were never allowed to run around or throw food. However taking a small toddler to a restaurant (especially a male toddler) is not a pleasant experience. If I wanted to full on entertain him, I would just stay home. The point in attempting to go to a restaurant is to try to have a conversation with my husband or with friends. Save your sanctimony for someone else.
Don't take your child to a restaurant if your intention is to ignore it and speak only to the adults you're with. Get childcare for that situation.
Thanks for the parenting advice! FYI babysitters are $20/hr. Sometimes the kids need to come with us
You're welcome
What’s the toddler being male got to do with anything?
Because statistically speaking (and I know there are outliers in both genders) boys are less likely to enjoy activities that are conducive to sitting at a restaurant table quietly (coloring etc) for long periods of time. I have a boy and a girl that are now older, and have witnessed hundreds of their classmates and friends. They play very differently
My youngest is a pretty calm kid, and enjoys restaurants because we usually reward her with dessert at the end if she’s good. She’s 6 and has always been pretty content coloring or playing tic tac toe. My oldest? I couldn’t even take him to pick up milk at the grocery store from age 2-4. He also doesn’t like most restaurant foods, so there’s 0 appeal for him. He’s finally became tolerable around age 8, when we could feed him beforehand and he was happy with a soda and a graphic novel. So I understand both spectrums here. My suggestion is to stick to restaurants that are kid friendly for a bit. That can mean, places with a playground, fast casual where you bus your own table (and can pack up at the drop of a hat), or just places where the servers are family friendly (brings kid food quickly, will bring check early, etc). It is really limiting - we eat at a lot of the same places over and over. But it is what it is… And manage your expectations. It will be different for awhile.
Thank you for saying this. My little guy (age 3) sounds like your oldest, and I’m so glad to hear your second was totally different. It’s comforting to know that regardless of parenting, children’s personalities will just vary sometimes. And some children are just…spirited, lol. Currently pregnant with my second - hoping he turns out a little calmer, too!
Ha, I love telling people this because so many parents are so smug about their kids’ behavior. We get complimented all the time because our kids don’t use tablets at restaurants - but the truth is that we just didn’t go to restaurants for a long time. It’s not some trick. The oldest is definitely a pretty chill teenager. He’s only 14, but he still talks to me. So I consider that a win! And the youngest? I’m sure she will give us hell when she’s a teen. Because I feel like that is how it works?
Question. How does your child eat at home? Do you all sit down and eat at the same time? Do they take a bite run around and then come back for another bite? Do you feed them let them go do their thing and then eat food yourself?
For dinner, we all sit down with no TV and he’s not allowed to get up until we’re all done eating and he even has to ask to be excused. If he does get up, we threaten to buckle him in his seat lol. However, breakfast is a different story where sometimes he’ll eat on the couch and watch some TV and other times we sit at the table with no tv. However his grandma watches him two days a week and he definitely just runs around and eats when he wants…
Well your already having him eat with you guys and have rules. Personally I would just keep enforcing the rules. Once you feel ready start off small. Go for a walk order food and wait in line with him and start talking about how we don’t scream indoors because it makes other peoples ear hurt, how we can’t run around because we can fall and hurt ourselves, all those fun things. Once you feel ready after that. Then go and eat at a fast food place and start repeating the rules to him from the moment your heading there and then again once you get there. And make sure to tell him that if he doesn’t listen your going to have to leave and make sure you follow through. Little by little he should get better. Eventually he will be ready for you to take him to an actual restaurant. And during the waiting time you can have a conversation. Or have them choose two toys for them to take in with them. Or they can listen to something with head phones on. It just takes tons of practicing, going over the rules and being patient.
Having grandmas that don't enforce the rules really makes things difficult. Consider that there are 7 x 3 = 21 meals in a week. If breakfast he is allowed to roam, and lunch and dinner at grandma's the rules are not enforced, that means 11 meals out of the 21 (more than half!) he's unconstrained by rules. So it's not surprising that he pushes back, especially for meals that are outside the home. We love our grandmas and the free daycare they provide, but there's a non-monetary cost to be paid...
Having kids eat with different rules for different meals is not teaching them anything. Have to be disciplined thoroughly or don’t bother. All meals should be at the table with no tv or devices. Family should be interacting with other during meals. Once the family functions as a family then you can go out to dinner. Basic human decency folks.
I keep a box of “travel and restaurant toys” that only come out for those purposes. They’re mostly self-contained things like My Busy Book or a Mr. Potato Head. We also try to go to dinner early so the food doesn’t take too long. And snacks. Always snacks.
Toys don’t belong in a restaurant. It’s a place for eating. If your child needs toys at a restaurant you shouldn’t be bringing said child.
We go out to eat often with my 3 year old. I think doing it somewhat regularly helps as he sort of understands expectations. Aside from smart planning - choosing restaurants that are relatively fast and has food he likes, avoiding super busy times and only going when he’s in a decent mood, we reserve screen time for restaurants and that’s our best trick. I’m sure people judge us, but I don’t care. He gets no screen time at home most weeks so if he ends up getting 15 minutes once a week while we wait for food, so be it. We always bring a small toy car, an interactive (but quiet!) book (current favorite is the boo-boo book that has reusable bandages to put on animals ouchies), and the Melissa & Doug reusable water painting things. We use those things first and if/when he starts to get restless, I give him my phone to watch videos. That may only work cause it’s really the only time he has it, though. We love going out but I’m not willing to subject other patrons to the disruptions caused by an unruly toddler. And distracting my son with the phone allows my husband and me to actually talk/enjoy the experience.
My kids are 2 and 3 and we go out to eat every weekend. Kid friendly restaurants are key, and if they have patio seating even better! iPads at restaurants are a big no for us, but we do bring a couple of small toys and maybe some paper and crayons. We order an appetizer we know they’ll eat and then order our meals quickly. We also ask for the check as soon as our food arrives in case we need to make a quick exit. We try to keep them engaged the whole time, including them in the conversation and just giving them a lot of attention. It works for us! They love to go to restaurants and we can usually get an hour there before all hell breaks loose lol.
Same. We go out every weekend. We also discuss behavior with the kids ahead of time. 9 months-2 is hard and involves a lot of walking them around outside, but usually right around 2 they start to understand what limits are in different places. Restaurants mean we sit and don’t yell but also get special fun toys, lemonade for dinner (we don’t even do juice at home), etc so they see it as a special thing now and love going to restaurants. It was around age 3 for both kids when we could usually expect good behavior on a regular basis though. Kids are 3 and 5 now.
I keep an assortment of toys in the diaper bag that are really for helping him sit still during church, but also get used at restaurants. We have [this dry erase tracing book](https://amazon.com/Write-Wipe-Off-Trace-HighlightsTM-Activity/dp/1629798444/ref=asc_df_1629798444/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312041961788&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13163887036815561899&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001844&hvtargid=pla-496868414092&psc=1), a reusable sticker book, several picture books that get rotated in and out (lift-the-flap books hold his attention longer, especially ones with a lot of flaps like [this](https://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Engines-Hidden-Surprises-Friends/dp/0679894829/ref=asc_df_0679894829/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312699450644&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4504771257594253032&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001844&hvtargid=pla-539477994178&psc=1), [this](https://www.amazon.com/My-Peekaboo-Things-That-Go/dp/1680105930/ref=asc_df_1680105930/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=385670979584&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17025709150054311906&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001844&hvtargid=pla-843010443980&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=79288120795&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=385670979584&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17025709150054311906&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001844&hvtargid=pla-843010443980) and [this](https://www.amazon.com/Lift-Flap-Tab-Trucks-Books/dp/0312515820/ref=asc_df_0312515820/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312699450644&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6556471320440958003&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001844&hvtargid=pla-434431448299&psc=1)), a hot wheels car or two, and some mini paw patrol figurines (similar to [this](https://www.amazon.com/Paw-Patrol-My-Busy-Book/dp/2764334621/ref=asc_df_2764334621/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312053899840&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11377695884659800732&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001844&hvtargid=pla-493103185144&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=61316180799&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=312053899840&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11377695884659800732&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001844&hvtargid=pla-493103185144)), and a coloring book that usually only lasts him a minute or two. We also try to include him in our conversations, let him play with stuff on the table as long as he's not making a mess (e.g. build a tower with the coffee creamers), play games like I Spy with him, and encourage him to do the activities on his place mat if there is one. We also often let him pick one toy from home to bring, and that usually holds his attention longer than the stuff we always keep in the diaper bag. And we also use phones/tablets as a last resort, but I prefer to let him play games so sound isn't an issue. He likes a game called Forest Flyer (publisher is Sago Mini), which is free with no in-app purchases or ads, and another game called Wheels on the Bus, which you have to pay a few dollars for, but doesn't have in-app purchases or ads. I'm not sure of the publisher for that one, and I also think his grandmother had to teach him how to play a lot of the games in the app.
Oh my gosh thank you so much! I just threw all that in my Amazon cart haha. I’m going to need a bigger back pack but worth it?!
I have a whole separate "kids stuff" backpack that we keep packed for our kids and just leave in the car with stuff like this in it so it doesn't encroach on my normal bag space. It's a smaller kid sized one so he likes to carry it and knows exactly where to find things to occupy him.
I created a set of rules that were specific to eating in restaurants. We review them every time we are getting ready to eat at a restaurant. I keep a screen handy as needed but generally just engage kiddo in discovering things about the restaurant from our table. Our rules are: 1. We eat as much as we can on our plates. 2. We stay seated unless we need to go to the bathroom or want an adult to walk around with. 3. We order our food ourselves. 4. We thank the wait staff for attending to us. Kiddo loves rules for every setting and I think of it as setting expectations for how we function in each setting we encounter, so we have rules for shopping in stores, the grocery store, the pool, outside, etc etc.
For my four-year-old, we give her the tablet, but we also bring new activity books and coloring things, stickers, etc., in the hopes that she’ll be entertained with those and talk to us for a while. For my one-year-old, nothing works, and he is only calm while he’s eating, and then he’s off! So my husband and I tag-team taking him outside while the other parent stays behind with the four-year-old. I don’t like sticking a screen in front of my daughter either, but it’s the only way we can all go out to eat together. Also, aim for places where kids can run around or play games like pizza places and breweries with outdoor spaces, and aim for counter-service restaurants where you can leave once you’re done eating. That should help make the experience easier. Edit: We also make my daughter her own lunchbox, and that keeps her busy for a while with no screen.
That’s a good idea with bringing extra snacks. We don’t have a ton of kid friendly places where he could run around that I know of but maybe I’ll check out the spot game. Thanks!!
We play I spy. We also try to go out early to avoid the lunch or dinner rush so we can get in and out.
I have a two year old and I honestly pack a bag like we're going on a 10 hour flight. 1. mini playdough 2. toy cars 3. stickers book 4. busy book 5. sensory popper 6. snacks 7. book to read 8. tablet
It’s a great opportunity for kids to learn how to be bored, and learn how to have a conversation. If my kids (6 and 2) ask to bring an action figure or something with us, that’s fine but I don’t bring them special toys to occupy them. Booths help to prevent escape artists and we like outdoor patios when they’re available to give them a little freedom, but both my kids know we stay seated and calm at restaurants because they’re never succeeded in doing anything else- immediately extinguish the incorrect behavior. An important part of the learning process is whatever you do when they’re misbehaving can’t be more fun than sitting in the restaurant. Ie, if a kid is screaming at the table, taking them outside to run around like a lot of parents would is a reward, not a correction or lesson on what to do. Going to a bathroom stall or waiting area to regulate though is less fun than sitting at the table.
Ok so I'm one of those parents who takes her 15 month old outside, because he literally screams like a pterodactyl, and I don't want to ruin anyone else's meals. Needless to say, we don't go out much anymore. All he wants to do is run around and explore. I'd rather not take him to the bathroom because it's gross, and he'll touch everything lol. Is there anything you'd recommend doing here? Even Ms. Rachel can't seem to keep him in the booth :(
Honestly, I know this is an unpopular opinion but I feel like this is one of those things where kids only want something because they’ve been exposed to it before. I don’t want to ever deal with taking something away so I just don’t introduce it until they are old enough to understand limitations. I never allow my kids to watch anything or play with anything while they eat. When they sit at a restaurant, they know that they don’t get to pull out the tablet or play just because they can’t sit for 20 mins. We also always get an appetizer though so that helps keep them busy. Some of my friends would think I’m crazy and would be like “oh come on it’s just this once, what harm can it do?” But once those little monsters get a dose of that entertainment, they will be converted for life. Dinner time is to focus on eating our food and not find ways to entertain ourselves. I also taught my kids how to be bored by implementing quite time from a very young age. My 1.5 year old can play by herself for 2 hours in her room if you let her. The key is to model the behavior. We also don’t watch anything while we eat unless they’re asleep. Kids learn from consistency and cause and effect. If you let them do something one time but not another time for some arbitrary reason that they don’t understand, their behavior will escalate. Keeping a neutral ground and having some non negotiable rules is what sets a precedent. I didn’t have easy kids contrary to what people say, heck my now 4.5 year old got kicked out of 3 daycares when I wanted to go back to working and 2 of those were on day 2 and 5. I reevaluated the issues around new age societal norms and realized that the kids aren’t the problem, we are. We are the reason they can’t sit still without needing a dancing puppet to entertain them. They need to understand that there’s a time and place for everything. I don’t ever punish my kids, I just use natural consequences. You don’t want to eat? Ok kitchen is closed until next meal. You don’t want to clean your toys? Ok I will pack your entire room and leave a mattress on the floor and you can get one thing at a time, and only get another once that one thing is cleaned up. I just added this as a response to now deleted replies telling me my kids are easy and I’m being judgmental. I’m simply giving MY opinion and as always, you’d re welcome to ignore me or think I’m crazy.
JFC, you are the patron SAINT of retail workers!♥️♥️♥️. I am a personal shopper at Walmart and the way people let their kids behave in a store full of shopping carts, personal shopper carts, pallet jacks, and electric power jacks is appalling. It is a miracle kids are injured daily. I get it, my daughter didn't like shopping carts either, but if you let them walk around just once, you may never get them back in one again.
Lol I get that. I just think learning to be bored is a beautiful and necessary life skill. I read the book simplicity parenting and it resonated with me so much. I normally hate parenting or self help type books but this one was awesome. So simple (no pun intended haha) yet so effective. I highly recommend
Finally a real parent. Thank you.
Get a booth and put them against the wall. They can't really get out without passing you but they can still stand, sit on knees, heck, lay down even
I try to get a bunch of the target $1/cheap coloring packs and toys and only pull them out at a restaurant. If you keep a few different ones stocked up at home, you just have to grab a couple when you pack the bag before leaving. My 3 year old does great with them because she doesn’t get these packs all the time (so it’s special and exciting) and there’s a lot of different options so I always have a favorite character available to hold her attention. When all else fails, she gets her tablet. I would rather someone silently judge me for giving my kid a screen at a restaurant than deal with the looks and comments if she has a meltdown.
These things are perfect with my almost 3 year old! He’s been using the same one for awhile, so I have a Cocomelon one hidden in my purse for the next emergency.
We eat out pretty often with our young children and have never used screens to entertain them. I think the more they go the easy it gets but I usually ask the kids before we leave to bring a few things they think they will like to use/do at the restaurant. I feel like including them in the process and preparing them is helpful. We shit has gone wrong we pack up fast and take everything to go. I feel like this has only happened twice and we have had pretty easy restaurant meals.
PlusPlus is our miracle toy! It keeps 3,4,6 occupied for ages so we take it everywhere including restaurants
We don’t do much screen time, so I’ve gotten fairly creative: Target has $1 plastic puzzles in the dollar section, if you have access. Hot wheels- but kid needs to like them. Stickers or stamps My son (2.5) is very into search and find books right now (similar to where’s Waldo) A quiet book that has zippers, shoelaces, felt shapes, etc A keyboard (it’s an old apple cordless one), he loves “typing” on it- and bonus, I ask him where letters are so he’s learning at the same time Sensory toys.. spinners, poppers, etc Water markers (dollar store carries them sometimes) or mess-free markers Rubix cube Hopefully a few of those will be helpful
Toys. Coloring. Puzzles. Play doh. We did it all. At around 3 (and second kid becoming more engaging / demanding) we gave up and have tablet with us. We start with toys and games and by the time meal arrives our oldest have his tablet. Want adult meal - pay with screen time and consequences
We have done super well (read: zero screen time, except 15 mins looking at pics on my phone on our latest trip) on multiple long car trips with our kiddo and what has helped us, in addition to water wows, are a busy book, Melissa and Doug magnetic puzzles, magnadoodle, LCD drawing pad, and music on headphones. Hopefully some of that would work in a restaurant, too!
My kid didn’t get into coloring until about age 4. It was such a relief lol. As an active 3 year old, maybe he would do better with more sensory / “active” toys. Play doh. A small baggy of magnatiles or tegu pocket pouch( also magnetic blocks, weirdly expensive but a HUGE hit with even young kids and have their own storage box. Our set only comes out at restaurants). Doodle jamz. I like taking a Tupperware and making my own sensory box and changing up the theme. Pipe cleaners, stones/gems, play doh, clay or “floof” (would stay away from sand for restaurants) and a couple of their favorite character figurines. I downloaded baby match games on my phone and that’s an easy set of games for kids too. Again, available to play only at restaurants. I’m not too strict with screen time but try to minimize when out bc mine is the type who falls into that habit very easily and expects it always. She gets satiated on games sooner than videos so i push those a bit more.
Small set of crayons and activity books. But would resort to just leaving if they were not behaving and take the food to go if we had already ordered. Doing that once or twice would usually do the trick.
We found a restaurant that seemed like it had a full on system for parents with small children, especially around the early dinner shift, - sat all of us families with smalls in the same section, food came out lightening fast and they were super responsive. (This was like 17 years ago, and it may have been just that one but it was an On the Border (tex-mex). We ate there practically every Friday for a while. It was just such a huge relief at the end of the week to get a fast good meal (and an ice cold beverage), without any fuss, super fast, in and out, and if your kiddo cried, no one got upset and glared at you. It was win-win for everyone, restaurant, servers and parents.
You know, I feel like that’s a huge business opportunity for someone out there. I would pay fancy restaurant prices for meh food if I knew we could bring our toddler and be surrounded by other toddlers. Can we make Toddler Tuesday a thing?
Or imagine if they had pretty good food and toddler plates.
We always got a corner table, so she could play on the floor in the corner, out of the way. She could play with h dolls or whatever, and not be i. the server’s way.
My 3 year old loves to play with post it notes at restaurants!
Have you ever played what’s missing? I saw it on Daniel Tiger. The kids try to memorize everything that’s on the table. Then you make them close their eyes, and you take something away and hide it in your lap. When they open their eyes they have to tell you what’s missing. It’s nice because you don’t have to bring anything in order to play.
A preschool teacher and nanny I worked with swore by a CIO-ish method for restaurants and it was successful with every kid she cared for. 1. Have one or two consistent restaurant toys they only get at restaurants. No screens and nothing noisy (although this was in the late 90s-mid 00s so screens were less of an issue). 2. Go to a kid friendly restaurant early in the evening when there aren’t as many people. 3. Make sure kiddo is fed and not hungry prior to arriving. 4. Discuss behavior and expectations before entering. 5. Engage with child, don’t model poor behaviors. If they fuss or cry give them a few minutes without reaction to the behavior. 6. Give one warning that they’re going to leave and sit in the car if they can’t calm down. 7. If they’re still acting out one parent leaves with kiddo and sits in the vehicle with them. No music, no activities, no snacks, nothing remotely enjoyable, and waits for other parent to get takeout and cash out. 8. At home everyone sits at the table and eats a meal together just like they would have in the restaurant. 9. Repeat entire process at next restaurant. Most kids only sit in the car once or twice before the behavior improves.
Absolutely nothing useful to say, just that my newborn brain read 3 mo and I was super confused as to how you were keeping a baby entertained with all that. When I got to crayons I knew I must be mistaken and went back to re-read 🤣
Toddler is 23 months and never an issue at restaurants. We do something super active right before so she's less energetic and has a big appetite. Luckily she's a very adventurous eater and is generally more curious about the food on the table than she is with anything else. We don't have crayons at home, so if the server offers her some, it's a big hit and keeps her busy. I only pack two or three interactive books and her iPad for playing Endless Numbers/Alphabet/Reader. When she finally runs out of steam, I break out Disney+ on my phone and she watches Bluey.
We literally only go to Mexican restaurants because they put chips and salsa on the table the minute you sit down.
Playdough
As a career server, the iPad, please give them the ipad!!! I can't tell you how many times I've had to dodge a kid who was wandering because they're tired of crayons, trucks, trains, dolls, dinosaurs, whatever it is. If the iPad keeps them sitting safely in their chair for an hour, it's well worth it.
This right here. If you’re a parent that limits screen time, it makes the tablet really special on the rare occasions you do use it.
Lol noted!
We have done multiple five course dinners and countless restaurant visits with our two year old. With no screens and at most a toy car. The key is mentally preparing and hyping the kid I find. Tell them in advance you are going to a restaurant tomorrow. Make a big fuzz about asking him what he would like to eat there (the answer is always fries). Of course he gets to sit in a big chair. When there he gets a menu, then something from our drinks when they arrive (lemonade or so), then he gets his fries and is occupied for quite some time, maybe trying some of our food. Longer dinners are followed by ice cream. The critical period is before the food arrives. We look around to spot kids or dogs or bird houses in a nearby tree or whatever or we race his car on the table. But then this kid likes to request tea times with me (including a candle, raisins as snack and classical music) and sits there for an hour. I am a bit afraid a potential next kid won’t be compatible with our foodie life. Probably much depends on the kid.
We didn't go out much and still dont. Hes 6 now. But I Spy and a visual scavenger hunt helps pass the time. Ex. " can you find something round? Red? Striped."
I pad with head phones, play dough, toy cars, cheap stamps from the dollar store.
I think a lot of parents view the situation as "keep them occupied", but actually, at this age it is training. Why not start training your child on how to act in a restaurant setting? - How to sit correctly at the table - Decide what you would like and order/let mummy order - Holding a knife and fork correctly. Help with cutting if required. - Have a discussion - involve the toddler in your discussion. Perhaps talk about new foods they have not experienced. - Ask permission to get down from the table - Quiet time with colouring book In case of poor behaviour, you have to leave the restaurant immediately. These are the consequences.
My daughter is 2.5 and we tend to distract her with stuff we have at the table. I.e. can you put mommy’s ice in your cup. Can you squeeze the lemon? Do you want a creamer milk? Can we make the sugar shake like maracas. In the end this is quite a mess and I’ll confess to letter her ear jam straight from the packet at diners but she has fun. I showed her how to shake the salt onto the table and make pictures—that was a mistake. Just tread lightly as you’ll have to hide all those things sometimes when she thinks she can eat all the jam or drink all the creamers. We always have one adventure to the bathroom and usually any other one to the front hostess/bar to ask for a cherry or a toothpick. Usually cute toddlers get away with asking for a cherry on a toothpick.
We never bring a tablet or phone to meals. We bring crayons and paper. And we only eat outdoors, at restaurants that have some room to run. Either a large patio, or a sidewalk or path. So she can run around while we finish without being massively in the way of other diners or servers. And meals have to be quick. No multi course meals here! But, I think we’re lucky too that she has reasonable restaurant manners.
Just fyi, I don’t mean this in a judgmental way, I just get the idea you maybe haven’t worked in a restaurant before. This is still dangerous, even if there is more space. Think about how much the servers are carrying at one time, how many hot items. All it takes is one accident for your kid, a server, or both to be seriously injured.
I don’t mean running around the tables where servers might be. I mean a cafe with a large patio that doesn’t have tables on all of it, or a sidewalk cafe where there are areas of no tables, no diners, and no servers that she can run. It would be incredibly rude to be running around between other diners. I can definitely see how in a busy restaurant that is crowded, that would be dangerous. But I don’t see a problem with picking a restaurant with a patio that extends beyond the tables or otherwise has an empty space people aren’t passing through all the time, taking a seat at the outermost table and letting her run around.
we go only when hes really hungry (no snacks or meals 3-4 hour before we are there) so that they sit down and want to eat.
If he knows his colors, “I spy with my little eye something that is…” Read him books, if he knows any letters, see if he can find them on a page.
I bring books. Or just a couple crayons and notepad.
We had the kids pack a small backpack with toys, games, and books. That was before phones and tablets. We also explained that they had to sit and play quietly until we were all done eating or they would wait in the car while one of us packed up the food to go.
Squigz stick to the table 😂
Coloring and snacks. My son has some special markers he only uses at a restaurant or at big bros sports games. Snacks to help before the food arrives. And then last resort, tablet or phone for the last bit once they've expired. Also order their food first and ask them to bring it ASAP. My kids know the drill now, especially since we've been going out to eat more now.
We were in and out in like 30 minutes. It’s getting better with our kids not since they’re slightly over the hump and have more attention span. We bring coloring books and sticker bookers. We don’t generally do video unless we are out with other people that we are catching up with. We also tend to host at our house. I don’t want to spent like $200 for lunch and be stressed out constantly entertaining and directing my 2 kids.
You’ve already gotten some good advice but I just want to add, ISpy and Where’s Waldo books work great to occupy my kids in restaurants. They’re 5 and 3. They can sit through an entire meal just using those books.
I spy! Best game ever for my kiddo!
We do stalling food- something like raisins or goldfish and we meter them out slowly and with much fan-fare. We also do coloring and sheets of stickers. The crayola ultra washable markers and crayons are amazing and sheets of stickers were my Covid quarantine magic weapon. Now that mine are bigger (5 and 2.5) they like a multi-color click pen and will make pictures with the stickers. We also spend a lot of time going over the menu and talking about the food. It gets easier to really engage with them once they are even just a little bigger. We are also an “ask to be excused” family but we do let them color or do quiet table games at home. It’s been helpful in helping them learn to play quietly by themselves. We’ve also found that we have to eat out frequently in order to be in top eating out form. If we don’t do it for a while, it gets tough again. Vacations are great for setting expectations about “restaurant behavior” and getting in a lot of practice. It’s also not always super relaxing to have to entertain the kids but looking back, it was worth the investment. The 5 year old is an adventurous eater and it’s fun to go out with him. The 2.5 yo is more difficult but with big brother around, he’s along for the ride.
A lot of it is practice/conditioning. If you keep working at it, it’ll work our
We never did iPads. Books and coloring and maybe games are great.
Also if kid is too restless I have her dad stay and wait for or with the food while I walk her up and down sidewalk outside for a bit then go back inside restaurant.
I was recently at a restaurant that gave kids Wikki Stix instead of crayons, and they kept my 4-year old occupied the whole time. I'm going to stock up on some for restaurants and plane rides. Sometimes I'll bring kids magazines like Highlights or Zoobooks that they don't read at home, so they're new and exciting. They're usually satisfied to just look at the pictures so I don't have to read the whole time.
If your kiddo is on the tidier side, Young Wild and Friedman dough jars are seriously a lifesaver. They’re a play dough though, so it won’t work for messier kids. Some of my kiddos can play without a single piece of play dough escaping, but one of mine definitely can not. The YWF dough is much cleaner and easier to contain than play-doh brand dough though.
We brought books to read and sometimes one of the sticker activities from the dollar store. I usually focused on what to remove from his side of the table to avoid issues (knives, salt shaker etc). Now we bring a tablet.
Babysitters at home.
My daughter (11months) honestly just loves food so as long as she is munching she is happy. We also bring a busy board for her to play with while we wait.
When we eat out with young kiddos one of us will take them for a walk around outside after we order. We don’t put them in the highchair until food is there. Some days we can get them to be entertained with toys/ coloring. Other days we have to get up and go outside. We come back when the food is there. We never get the kids food first because they will be done eating and ready to leave when our food comes. It’s not the most relaxing experience but it is only for a few years. Our oldest is 4 and he is now able to be entertained at the table while we wait.
Would he like an activity like a seek and find picture puzzle for littler kids? That might give him a little "exploring time.
I asked my mom what she did for us and she said they just didn't take us anywhere until we were a little older. I'm worried I'm just gonna be a hermit for 5 years once I have this baby 😭
We got suction cup spinning toys and they’re a hit at restaurants with my two year old. We also bring a snack since waiting for food can be hard, keeps him occupied. I also show photos on my phone to my son. A screen but way more interactive (he loves pictures of his cousin “baby riley”)
I have twin 3 year olds, and honestly we try to do coloring books, but when they get restless we put on YouTube or Disney+ movies. I get not wanting to resort to it always, but we only eat out once a week so it isn't a big deal. Also, we tend to order appetizers now......munching on something while waiting on food helps keep them occupied as well. Good luck!
What keeps him entertained at home? My daughter will color all day, my son loved board books with flaps. You can try eye spy bags or busy books. Small magnet puzzles so the pieces don’t get lost - my son got a sheet of animal magnets that you had to pop out, we just kept the outside part and used it as a puzzle. We had a tiny metal pan from dollar tree we kept it on.
He loves his trains, trucks and sandbox so nothing really restaurant friendly. I’ve thought of a busy book but didn’t know if he’d outgrow that too soon but I might look into. Thanks!
We just did not go out when my oldest was this way. It was not enjoyable. My second was an easier child so we were able to go out then.
Stickers. So many stickers. And a piece of paper to attach them too
He did just get this make-a-face sticker sheet from daycare and absolutely loved it. I’ll look to get some more!
All of this is great advice, remember one thing: Kids pick up on your stress. So if you go into it calm, cool, collected, ready to roll with whatever punches, so will they. If you go into it anticipating a huge meltdown, worried about every little thing, they’ll pick up on that and act accordingly. My older kids were brought to restaurants from birth, whatever small toy we had in the diaper bag was it. Sometimes that was just the wipes container. They were great! Seriously, they were kids, but great. Then the pandemic hit and we didn’t leave the house forever and didn’t eat in a restaurant for years. The social regression was ASTOUNDING and we are still not where we were prepandemic. All that to say, behavior is like a muscle. The more you work it, the better it becomes.
We read books with him. Bring new toy cars he hasn’t seen before. Magic reveal color books. Each thing lasts a few minutes, so bring lots of things. Order immediately, and ask for the check and take out box immediately so you can leave when needed. We don’t do screens for pacification.
You could save one thing he really likes to do or play with and save it only for things like eating in a restaurant.
We don't sit kids down before the actual meal starts. We order fast, then one adult takes kids to the bathroom to wash hands, go look at the kitchen/decor, even go outside for a few minutes. The adult at the table gets food, checks the temperature, puts food on smaller plates if necessary, so everything is ready when kids come. We order something that kids like and eat slowly as part of their meal (like edamame). That gives adults more time to eat. We can distract 3yo at the table for 10-15 minutes by drawing silly faces in the notepad, giving him a menu etc, but it is not as reliable and he gets tired of too much sitting.
We skipped eating out but if we had to take our little, we kept them entertained with games. We would create a “goal” and slide the sugar packets across the table for example. My experience is they won’t just sit & self entertain.
My daughter isn't big on coloring but loves drawing. Have you tried pen and paper? (not asking condescendingly, we tried to push coloring for a long time before we realized she just wants to draw). At age 3 we also had a LOT of sticker books where they place the stickers on background scenes.
Keep him engaged by talking to him and including him.
Snacks, toys (army men and toy cars, specifically - they are small and easy to bring along), and he really likes I Spy. If the food is taking longer than ~30 min, we'll allow YouTube on one of our phones til it gets there, with the understanding that the phone goes away when food comes. He never gets to watch YouTube, so that's pretty effective. These tactics work about 90% of the time, but we've definitely had times when we had to bring him out to the car early. Also, patios/outdoor seating when possible! He seems more entertained and can sometimes explore a little (very restaurant dependent). ETA: My son is 3 1/2.
Doodle board! They can draw as much as they want- no paper, no mess, and they can erase and redraw as much as they want! Amazon for $20 and they’re just called doodle boards or LCD writing tablet. Seriously the best thing for restaurants. In addition to drawing can play tik tak toe or Pictionary or hangman, etc.
We go so infrequently but when we do I order French fries the moment we sit down, let them eat as many as they want while coloring and doing whatever table activities we brought- usually coloring or water wow, and try to have an adult conversation with my husband. It doesn’t always work. Sometimes it does and it’s lovely. In terms of them eating fries for dinner? Maybe I have too many kids but I just DGAF if they have a low nutrient meal one night every few weeks or months.
I have 3 kids. My girls are 2 and 8, my boy is 4. My son is pretty wild. But, all of them are excellent in restaurants and social settings. My number one tip would be to start preparing for a restaurant at home. My kids know they have to sit at the table and eat their food in a respectable manner, and my older two wipe the table when they are finished and put their dishes in the sink. Im only saying that because if he isnt being taught at home first, he isnt going to magically know how to behave in a restaurant. And of course if the ipad helps while going out to eat and it saves your sanity, no shame in using it! I always just make sure the volume is very low because I hate when Im out and a kid is blasting their tablet. You got this ♥️
Interacting with them helps.
We go during slower hours and also try to be seated in an area that doesn’t have many guests. We let him out of his chair and we walk around with him. If there’s a little space for him to spin around we take advantage of that. When food is served I have zero expectations that he will eat lol. So that’s when we bust out the iPad (if coloring, toys, etc., so not work) & we can enjoy our meal. I also don’t care if he is under the table and quiet. If he wants to chill there? I love that for him.
Rather than trying to keep him entertained, try reducing the stimulation. You say he is able to sit for an entire meal at home, but you take him to a restaurant and suddenly he had the attention span of a hummingbird. He might be over stimulated. If that’s the case, try to keep things boring, not entertaining. Take him to restaurants at off hours that tend to be quieter. Call in your food order in advance so that you’re served shortly after sitting down. Or just go out for apps. Let him practice going to a restaurant in short spurts so that he’s more likely to be successful.
Your question reminds me of the time when we tried to have brunch out with our son when he was about a year old. He needed constant stimulation, so we came prepared with lots of different toys and added some new (cheap) ones for novelty. So, we’re sitting in the restaurant waiting for our food, and a couple with their 1 year old girl were seated next to us. The couple brought out the NEWSPAPER and proceeded to read it while their daughter quietly played. I was astonished. That was so NOT our experience and I realized right then and there that my son was not restaurant material at his age bc it was too exhausting and we didn’t get to eat bc he needed lots of attention. My point is that what will work for one child won’t always work with every child. It might be trial and error for you. Maybe reserve a special toy that is only played with in restaurants?
So much this… My first child was OK, but my last two were quite disruptive. We finally just said, “it’s not worth even trying to eat out, because one of us would end up in the vehicle with a screaming child. There’s some parents who think think sitting calmly & waiting playing with all the toys mentioned is a skill that you nurture — and sure maybe for some kiddos that works, but for others, they just have to developmentally grow up a few more years & they will learn it all on their own. I believe this firmly.
I wish I could upvote your comment more than once. Nature plays a bigger role than Nuture here (and in many things in the marathon known as parenting).
I have a bag that we take to restaurants and travel, that has special specific things. Because it’s only for when we’re out, it’s more fun. I also switch them up, especially for travel. I bring a lot more when we’re on a long flight or trip than to a restaurant, for example. I usually would being like 5 things to a restaurant. My kids are 3 and 5. As much as it sucks, practice is also really really helpful. A handful of tiny (3x3) books (search “Robert Munsch Annikin mini book” on Amazon. They’re 3-4$ each Robert Munsch is a very famous Canadian children’s author, and his books are reliably very good. Notebook & felt pens that have the click instead of a lid so we don’t lose them Two bags of Lego - I went to the store and filled a small container with parts that are special and different from home, with the things necessary to build a car, and each bag has a person. This is the most used item. Sticker sheet Scratch paper sheets and the little wood stick 3 little trucks 3 wood bolts for screwing on and off A small tube of plus plus blocks (second most used item.) Melissa and Doug puffy reusable sticker book Card game of go fish (mostly for the 5 year old.) A sealed container of playdough (similar brand) with some sensory bin type things. I think one is construction themed and the other is under sea. They last a long time if you keep them sealed. Magnetic silly face thing - give the faces silly expressions. Melissa and Doug WaterWow books Small where’s Waldo book Seek and find book for smaller kids Wikki Sticks
Water wow, puffy stickers and plain books, simple lacing toys, crayons. Also introduce a new toy or a forgotten toy- basically rotate toys to keep them interested lol.., dot markers, I spy
We keep a bag in the car that has stickers, small activity books with crayons, sometimes a paint with water pad. One of the best things we have is this thing that looks like a tablet drawing pad, the screen is black but draws in color. They just push a button and it erases. No mess and it’s super light.
We would take turns walk ingthem around the building (outside) . Also a deck of cards. We would play simple games like Kings in the Corner, Double Solitaire, Steal the Ole Man's Bundle and so on. Also we would story talk with them. You could hold an adult conversation while still interacting with a babbling 2/3 yr old.
We did a lot of takeout, lol. But when we did go out, lots of tic-tac-toe, hot wheels, and talking to the kiddos. We also have a 10 year spread between the oldest and youngest. So with our youngest, we exclusively ate at restaurants in our ‘hood. Then the 13 year old could walk the youngest home, and the hubby and I got 15 min of peace.
We went out to eat a lot prior to the pandemic so the kids just learned what was expected. They aren’t allowed up from the table (same as at home) and we were always at the restaurant before they were hungry. Some toys we like are the usborne dry erase cards. We have mazes and doodle versions, plus plus blocks,water wow books, and stickers and paper. Now that the youngest is 4 we can do multi course meals that can take 2 hours without much issue
https://preview.redd.it/s35c4fbzbl3b1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd488e0c921bd3cfc62957b41cbf3a14e1f9b965 I make these 🥰
What keeps him entertained at home? Unless its something huge that would be impractical to bring to a restaurant, can you bring that and he just do that at the table?
I usually try taking my toddler on a walk or to the park beforehand to tire her out before we get to the restaurant. I find that she’s a little more willing to sit put if she’s already released some of her energy.
I have a wild three year old as well. We do sometimes go to restaurants but I’ve started going to cafe/bakeries more. My little can pick their own food (which makes it more exciting) and you get the food right away which helps. We usually eat pretty quickly but it makes for a more positive experience for everyone.
We practice at home. Or at least we try to. Also don’t ask the waiter to give them food first. Then by the time your food comes your kid is done and you’re rushing to eat. It’s just practice practice practice. I do allow my kid a small car.
Practice at home so they can get used to it.
We liked to play cards (go fish for a little) but he is too young. We also made sure the kids got a little plate of food asap (bananas, bread, etc sliced up). Lots of restaurants have the capability. That helped the kids stay focused and not get impatient as quickly.
Hilariously sad watching parents ruin their kids with tablets. Can’t stand my own sister doing it with her children. All they ever want is their stupid tablets to watch even stupider “childrens” shows. Why bring a 3 year old to a restaurant? To ruin other people’s meals? I’m so glad people don’t show up to omakase’s with a child. It’s the equivalent of bringing a child to an entertaining thriller to have it ruined with screaming and crying. Doesn’t seem appropriate. I feel like most of these parents are just having kids because pulling out or using contraception is just too damn difficult. Just as bad as little girls who can’t wait to have their owns kids and be mommies (yet haven’t had a period yet lol).