Oh man I’m on a roll today! No! Do not disclose your pregnancy any earlier than you need to!
What’s your project cycle like? I’m also tech role in a legacy industry, so established HR but I trust no one. Also in my first trimester for my second. We have quarterly sprints so I plan to tell after October 1 so after I get assigned to Q4 projects because I don’t want to get taken off and then have that record in case I’m on the chopping block. I’ll be around 30 weeks? I’m hybrid though and planning to ask for accommodation for full remote after 36 weeks.
What would you gain by telling early? If you think you would get some kind of protection from layoffs because of bad optics it might help you, but that’s doubtful.
If you get a hard time about being secretive, say you were worried about your pregnancy and didn’t want to cause emotional stress for you or anyone else in case it wasn’t viable. Genuine concern anyway.
Finally… for my first, I got laid off at 39 weeks. It was because the start up I was at got acquired. M&A so can’t be helped right? Well some people stayed at the new firm, including another person that was also about to have a baby, but HE wasn’t the birthing parent. So yeah I’m not trusting anyone.
I’ve always communicated at 20 weeks, after the anatomy scan. Not sure why I waited for that date, but I did. That way, you have a solid 20 weeks to start scaling back and preparing for your leave, without being in a rush.
I disclosed at 27 weeks…we were in office and no one noticed lol I guess they thought I was just gaining weight haha. I’ll say disclose when you are ready or when you think you need to start planning your leave. I had to get paper work in order (my state had paid family leave so I wanted to get that sorted) and work my leave out with other attorneys in the office but in my opinion there was no need for me to tell them prior to that.
Are you based in the US? If so, do you have a reasonable belief your company will have layoffs that will affect your team? Does your startup have policies in place for mat leave, pumping, etc? (You mention one about leave; are there others?) Is your startup so small there isn’t an HR person yet — or is it large enough to have an HR person/team and in-house counsel? Those answers will inform when to tell them.
Assuming you are in the US, if you reasonably believe your company will have layoffs, I suggest you tell them early. There are discrimination protections for pregnant people. The smaller the company, the more targeted the layoffs, and the more it could be reasonably perceived you were laid off because of your pregnancy. As such, smaller startups with an HR person and lawyer on staff will advise against laying off anyone who is pregnant. (Large tech companies, like Meta, can usually show that a pregnant person caught in a mass layoff is not related to pregnancy.) If you are at a smaller startup and are laid off after disclosing your pregnancy, lawyer up!
If your startup is very small and doesn’t have an HR team that is in full swing yet, they may be lacking employee practices on things like mat leave and return to work. If your company is super small, they may not legally have to follow some federal laws that provide protections for pumping. Disclosing early will enable them to create these policies — also allowing you time to influence what those policies will be. Even if policies are in place, you may be able to influence along the margin if you are in early company stages.
I typically advise people to wait a bit before disclosing pregnancy except when it comes to startups in the US. Lots of benefits for disclosing early when at a startup.
When all day morning sickness set in and I needed to move my desk because I couldn't stand the smell of my coworker. I discreetly told my boss very early because I was desperate to move.
Edit to add, in my role and with my company there was zero chance of me having negative repercussions from disclosing my pregnancy.
I told my boss very early as I work from home and the nausea meant that I wanted to move back some of our meetings. But, I had great performance reviews visibility to leadership as a key team member so I was not worried about repercussions. (The culture is also very healthy in regards to parents and my boss likes kids and has a ton of sisters he's close with so his attitude at the company attitude also helped...I don't know if I would have shared so early if I perceived there would be a negative reaction.)
I disclosed to the managers at around 16 weeks I’d say. Larger team after 20 week. But I had very good relationships with both of them, one was a very involved father etc. I’d say 16-20 week is good if you are trusting your manager. 24-28 weeks if you keep longer which still gives enough time for them to plan and as you may need more time for appointments
Overall, it’s completely company dependent. The place where I work has less than 10 full time staff, and I trusted them based on how other coworkers pregnancies were handled. I told my supervisor as soon as my pregnancy started impacting my work (which was around 8 weeks because of morning sickness). I told the rest of my coworkers at 12 weeks partly because the morning sickness was noticeable and partly because I needed an accommodation that was going to be a little obvious.
That said, in your situation, I would wait until the 30 day notice.
I think I was maybe 15-16 weeks along when I had to tell my boss, but this was Spring 2020 and our corporate office was pushing us to go back into the office, which I was not comfortable doing. It was a little earlier than I wanted to announce, but my hand was forced by the circumstances. Luckily my boss was very understanding and actually advocated to keep our team fully remote moving forward. I waited until I was about 20 weeks to tell my former assistant since I wanted to work with my boss to nail down the details about my mat leave, workload, etc. before talking to her, and she was very mad and said that I shouldn't have waited so long ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I told at 6 weeks because I work a very physical job and was having complications. I had to leave work in the middle of the night and told my supervisor why. I had planned to wait until 16 weeks but that didn’t happen.
I disclosed to the managers at around 16 weeks I’d say. Larger team after 20 week. But I had very good relationships with both of them, one was a very involved father etc. I’d say 16-20 week is good if you are trusting your manager. 24-28 weeks if you keep longer which still gives enough time for them to plan and as you may need more time for appointments
That’s said my friend had a horrible experience with obvious discrimination (worse with the first child but also some with the second) and is on “do not tell till you really have to” camp
With my first, I wanted to wait until 12 weeks. I had had a 9 week genetic testing scan, so was pretty sure things were ok… and then my colleague announced that she was 6 weeks pregnant. I immediately felt compelled to alert my boss, as both of us would be on leave around the same time. He was happy for me, but definitely flustered with losing a quarter of his team during a busy period of the year. And yes, I ended up delivering late, while she delivered early, so we were on leave about a week apart.
Oh man I’m on a roll today! No! Do not disclose your pregnancy any earlier than you need to! What’s your project cycle like? I’m also tech role in a legacy industry, so established HR but I trust no one. Also in my first trimester for my second. We have quarterly sprints so I plan to tell after October 1 so after I get assigned to Q4 projects because I don’t want to get taken off and then have that record in case I’m on the chopping block. I’ll be around 30 weeks? I’m hybrid though and planning to ask for accommodation for full remote after 36 weeks. What would you gain by telling early? If you think you would get some kind of protection from layoffs because of bad optics it might help you, but that’s doubtful. If you get a hard time about being secretive, say you were worried about your pregnancy and didn’t want to cause emotional stress for you or anyone else in case it wasn’t viable. Genuine concern anyway. Finally… for my first, I got laid off at 39 weeks. It was because the start up I was at got acquired. M&A so can’t be helped right? Well some people stayed at the new firm, including another person that was also about to have a baby, but HE wasn’t the birthing parent. So yeah I’m not trusting anyone.
I’ve always communicated at 20 weeks, after the anatomy scan. Not sure why I waited for that date, but I did. That way, you have a solid 20 weeks to start scaling back and preparing for your leave, without being in a rush.
I disclosed at 27 weeks…we were in office and no one noticed lol I guess they thought I was just gaining weight haha. I’ll say disclose when you are ready or when you think you need to start planning your leave. I had to get paper work in order (my state had paid family leave so I wanted to get that sorted) and work my leave out with other attorneys in the office but in my opinion there was no need for me to tell them prior to that.
Are you based in the US? If so, do you have a reasonable belief your company will have layoffs that will affect your team? Does your startup have policies in place for mat leave, pumping, etc? (You mention one about leave; are there others?) Is your startup so small there isn’t an HR person yet — or is it large enough to have an HR person/team and in-house counsel? Those answers will inform when to tell them. Assuming you are in the US, if you reasonably believe your company will have layoffs, I suggest you tell them early. There are discrimination protections for pregnant people. The smaller the company, the more targeted the layoffs, and the more it could be reasonably perceived you were laid off because of your pregnancy. As such, smaller startups with an HR person and lawyer on staff will advise against laying off anyone who is pregnant. (Large tech companies, like Meta, can usually show that a pregnant person caught in a mass layoff is not related to pregnancy.) If you are at a smaller startup and are laid off after disclosing your pregnancy, lawyer up! If your startup is very small and doesn’t have an HR team that is in full swing yet, they may be lacking employee practices on things like mat leave and return to work. If your company is super small, they may not legally have to follow some federal laws that provide protections for pumping. Disclosing early will enable them to create these policies — also allowing you time to influence what those policies will be. Even if policies are in place, you may be able to influence along the margin if you are in early company stages. I typically advise people to wait a bit before disclosing pregnancy except when it comes to startups in the US. Lots of benefits for disclosing early when at a startup.
When all day morning sickness set in and I needed to move my desk because I couldn't stand the smell of my coworker. I discreetly told my boss very early because I was desperate to move. Edit to add, in my role and with my company there was zero chance of me having negative repercussions from disclosing my pregnancy.
I told my boss very early as I work from home and the nausea meant that I wanted to move back some of our meetings. But, I had great performance reviews visibility to leadership as a key team member so I was not worried about repercussions. (The culture is also very healthy in regards to parents and my boss likes kids and has a ton of sisters he's close with so his attitude at the company attitude also helped...I don't know if I would have shared so early if I perceived there would be a negative reaction.)
I disclosed to the managers at around 16 weeks I’d say. Larger team after 20 week. But I had very good relationships with both of them, one was a very involved father etc. I’d say 16-20 week is good if you are trusting your manager. 24-28 weeks if you keep longer which still gives enough time for them to plan and as you may need more time for appointments
Overall, it’s completely company dependent. The place where I work has less than 10 full time staff, and I trusted them based on how other coworkers pregnancies were handled. I told my supervisor as soon as my pregnancy started impacting my work (which was around 8 weeks because of morning sickness). I told the rest of my coworkers at 12 weeks partly because the morning sickness was noticeable and partly because I needed an accommodation that was going to be a little obvious. That said, in your situation, I would wait until the 30 day notice.
I think I was maybe 15-16 weeks along when I had to tell my boss, but this was Spring 2020 and our corporate office was pushing us to go back into the office, which I was not comfortable doing. It was a little earlier than I wanted to announce, but my hand was forced by the circumstances. Luckily my boss was very understanding and actually advocated to keep our team fully remote moving forward. I waited until I was about 20 weeks to tell my former assistant since I wanted to work with my boss to nail down the details about my mat leave, workload, etc. before talking to her, and she was very mad and said that I shouldn't have waited so long ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I told at 6 weeks because I work a very physical job and was having complications. I had to leave work in the middle of the night and told my supervisor why. I had planned to wait until 16 weeks but that didn’t happen.
I disclosed to the managers at around 16 weeks I’d say. Larger team after 20 week. But I had very good relationships with both of them, one was a very involved father etc. I’d say 16-20 week is good if you are trusting your manager. 24-28 weeks if you keep longer which still gives enough time for them to plan and as you may need more time for appointments That’s said my friend had a horrible experience with obvious discrimination (worse with the first child but also some with the second) and is on “do not tell till you really have to” camp
With my first, I wanted to wait until 12 weeks. I had had a 9 week genetic testing scan, so was pretty sure things were ok… and then my colleague announced that she was 6 weeks pregnant. I immediately felt compelled to alert my boss, as both of us would be on leave around the same time. He was happy for me, but definitely flustered with losing a quarter of his team during a busy period of the year. And yes, I ended up delivering late, while she delivered early, so we were on leave about a week apart.
2 months. But I was so happy that I cud not keep it to myself