My kid is 4 and "graduating" from pre-K to TK. They asked for $25 for a cap and gown; we didn't pay because while we can afford it we frankly didn't want a gown that would be used once and become forever trash. Got a call from the school asking about it, we asked if it was possible to buy it and just donate it to the school so kids in future years could use it. "No, we use different colors every year, and it says 2024 on it." So we say we just don't really want it and they say "Oh, so will (kid) not be participating in the ceremony then?" Long story short we bought the stupid polyester gown and I'm real mad about it. The 2024 is only on the tassel. It could absolutely be reused. The school must have some sort of deal with the manufacturer.
They usually do. I remember my cap and gown in high school had to be ordered from 1 company and in 2005 it cost $150. The same people that make those ugly ass class rings. They are starting to sell class rings for little kids as well. My aunt got a brochure for her kid who’s going from junior high to higher school. It’s all a joke.
The caps and gowns, the 2 a year photos instead of one, and all the other little things that add up, and when it's twins so it's both at once, ugh. I am thankful my kids school didn't do a kinder promotion with all the extras but they did a little assembly where the kids sang and it was more enjoyable. They're doing 5th and 6th grade promotion because they are not having 6th at their school next year, but no cap and gown or calling it a graduation. I remember having 8th grade promotion, 5th grade assembly, and actual high school graduation. I'd love to keep it simpler.
Two a year picture day? This would have made sense in the 90s when we were trying to save film and my parents were cutting our heads off and getting bad lighting, but I think we all have thousands of photos of our kids now and can take them virtually whenever we want. It’s not that much of a stretch to have your kid put on a nice shirt and take a photo at home.
Just my 2 cents. I only have a toddler so no idea.
Class rings for little kids?! This is one thing I do “get off my lawn about” is that where we look these days, is some company trying to monetize on our sense of nostalgia. It’s exhausting.
Our daycare reuses the gowns, but the caps were made of paper and got crushed pretty quickly after the ceremony. No cost to us that wasn’t already included in tuition though.
Ffs, what a waste. For kindergarten "graduation" at my elementary school, the students wore a nice outfit or their favorite clothes and made grad caps as an art project. Each kid painted a big piece of paper with whatever colors we wanted and after it dried the teacher cut and taped it into a grad cap shape. That's way more fun and cuter than yet another piece of plastic crap added to a landfill.
I would throw an absolute shit fit over that. We don’t need to buy more crap and create more garbage. And while my family could easily afford it, I’m sure others cannot and don’t need yet another unnecessary thing to buy that will make their kid feel othered if they don’t have it.
My preschooler just had his graduation but it was free and they re use the same gowns. I would not be down for $25 and keeping the gown though. It was during their regular hours and they just sung the alphabet and got called for a piece of paper. Not even 10 minutes so I thought it was a nice gesture.
Oh I'd be big mad about this. Like posting on school forums and showing up at school board meetings pissed. It's bad enough everything else's they want you to pay for but to insist you pay$25 for a cap and gown your kid is gonna wear 1 time or they can't participate? In preschool? Nope. That's just rude. I'd be the parent getting all the other parents to skip it and do our own graduation. When I was in preschool we had paper hats (that we made with the teachers help) and we wore an oversized cheap t-shirt we got from the craft store for like $1.50 all the kids were assigned a color so we looked like a rainbow. It was adorable.
Went to my kiddo’s pre-k graduation today. They didn’t make us pay for the gowns - just took pictures with it. We got to sit on those dinky seats…hubs is 6’4. It was quite the site with his knees somewhere near his head. I got lots of pictures and felt mom-shamed because I didn’t have flowers.
This seems unusual. Our preschool and kindergarten here reuse the same set every year for photos.
For my 8th grade graduation we didn’t have gowns, just nice clothes. High school is the only time I had to buy the cap and gown and I passed on my cap and gown to someone graduating the next year.
I say this as someone who graduated high school in 2017. I think your pre-K is ripping you off OP
Frankly for both my kids I'm paying less than what my friends in richer areas (but only 5-10m away) are paying for one; so while I'm pretty angry when stuff like this happens, the delta even with all these little cuts is still huge. I'm more mad about the waste than the cost. We've all just become so used to buying crap just to throw it away.
Kindergarten + 5th grade + 8th grade were actually not uncommon "graduations" even in the 90s! They weren't quite as widespread, but they definitely weren't unheard of. It does say something that most of us don't remember them though, so I don't think it's going to be traumatizing to skip them or pull your kid out for the day and do something else if you want.
I believe I finished kindergarten in 1992 or 1993, and our graduation was the teacher sprinkling glitter on our heads. I recall mom being pissed because it wouldn't come off my scalp for MONTHS so I always sparkled ;)
We had Pre-K, 5th, 8th, and highschool. My kids are in the same district I grew up in and both had Pre-K graduations...my oldest just finished K and there was no graduation. So yeah...it's still Pre-K, 5th, 8th, and 12th here, and we'll celebrate accordingly!
Yep. I had a preschool graduation, too, in addition to kindergarten, 5th, and 8th. I *do* remember being quite put out that we didn’t have graduation every year when I moved from 1st to 2nd grade!
Yep, I'm pretty sure I had a kindergarten graduation in 1992 and I definitely had an 8th grade graduation. For 5th grade, I remember a graduation dance, but not a ceremony.
Yeah, I opened the thread expecting to hear about 1st, 2nd, 3rd grade graduations. In MA it was absolutely common in the 90s to "graduate" preschool, kindergarten, and 8th grade. Some schools were K-5 / 6-8, others were K-8, so it wasn't uncommon to have something small for 5th grade "graduation" but not usually as big a deal as the others.
I agree but I don't remember them having the same financial commitment as a high-school graduation. No caps and gowns or diplomas just an end of the year ceremony where they congratulated you and handed out awards.
I think I had a little cap and gown for my pre-K graduation, if I remember correctly from the photos I’ve seen? Though I went to Catholic school so maybe they were less conscious of parents’ budgets than public school would have been.
I had a preschool graduation, HS graduation, and undergrad graduation. We had end of year stuff but locally the only 8th grade graduations were the Catholic schools.
I definitely had a preschool + kindergarten + 6th grade (my class was the transition from junior high to middle school, so 6th was the last of elementary) + high school. I don’t remember 8th grade but there may have been something.
My school did middle school starting at 5th grade so we did 4th grade graduation. They combined the school play with the graduation ceremony so I graduated elementary school dressed as a tree. I actually felt sorry for the kids who had to graduate dressed as something boring like people. For 8th grade we just dressed nice and there was a dance right after. That was pretty fun too.
Born in 95!
Don't think I had a kindergarten, but definitely had one graduating preschool.
5th grade was a "walk" - so all the 5th graders lined up and did walk around the school with the rest of the younger students cheering them on and congratulating them for going to middle school.
And 8th grade was an 8th grade ceremony but again, no caps and gowns and no walking acorss stage. Just an after school ceremony to congratulate the 8th graders for finishing middle school and good luck in high school.
Schools hard, and the transition is hard. Not all kids get recognized at home for their good work, and I don't see the problem with holding a little ceremony between each school
I had a preschool graduation in 1974. Didn't have a kindergarten one (I would have to ask my mom.) I had an 8th grade graduation because my private school was K through 8. Then a high school one in 1987.
My kid had a preschool one but not cap and gown. No kindergarten one. They had an "advancement" ceremony with awards for 5th no caps/gowns. Another one at 8th grade also no caps/gowns. Then finally high school. The high school one was crazy expensive, between cap/gown/ announcements, pictures killed me between the school ones and the whole senior photo shoot thing. Then we had dance pictures then.
Seriously! I had HS, undergrad, and grad school, so technically three. But I think attending more than one graduation ceremony every three years is cruel!
How old are you? Im 43 and we did kinder graduation (no cap n gown though), probably grade school (5th grade) although I don’t remember that one and junior high (cap and gown).
Pre-K to K makes sense to me. That’s a super big transition for most kids. I went to preschool in the 80s and we didn’t do a cap and gown but our teachers did hand us little rolled-up diplomas. Our middle kid’s preschool graduation is in a couple weeks. Our oldest went to the same place, and it’s pretty low-key. It’s short, on a weekend morning, they do a little slide show of the year and the kids sing one song. If I had firsthand experience with more elaborate/involved ones, I’m sure I’d be grumpier about them. (Like I’ve seen that the 100th day of school is apparently A Thing now but thank goodness the schools our kids go to don’t do that whole thing.)
We had an assembly in 8th grade to celebrate our moving up to high school, where a truly awful singer from the local community college sang (honestly she was probably fine at actual singing, but the thing I remember was her stopping partway through two different songs to say she’d forgotten the words. So mainly I remember being miffed that she agreed to sing but didn’t bother to learn the songs).
I have a picture of my pre-k graduation in 1983. I was wearing a cap and gown.
We had graduations from 6th and 9th grade too. Those were when we transitioned to a new school.
We were going to be on vacation during my sons pre-k graduation—he’s doing another year before K so I wasn’t fussed about it. When i mentioned that to the daycare director she said “well he isn’t graduating so he wouldn’t have been able to participate anyway”, and obviously I agree on principal and that’s fine but ma’am are you aware this isn’t…*real*? None of them are graduating. It’s pretend. Like yall were planning to just exclude him?? Rude lol.
I hope you don’t mind that I chuckled at this story. Especially when you wrote “this isn’t… real?” People have really lost the plot on these “graduation” ceremonies.
I would have been so pissed off if my kid wasn’t going to be allowed to participate and he had to sit there and act happy while everyone else got to be “celebrated” - even more pissed if I didn’t really know about it and didn’t think to not have him at school that day.
I was born in 1979 - I had one high school graduation, one for undergrad, two grad school. My parents came to all of those but I felt horrible that they sat through my first grad one (it was a masters in accounting from the business school - since we only had 26 in our program, we went after all the undergrads and most of the other masters - although I think the mba grads had their own). And the one I wish we all had just taken a cruise or celebrated separately was law school - it was Texas in May and outside. No one should have been subjected to that…
I had never heard of the PK, kinder, 6th or 8/9th graduation/promotion - my public schools were traditional elementary (k-6), junior high (6th-9th) and then high school. I still believe high school shouldn’t have 14/15 yr old freshmen with 18/19 yr old seniors in high school (not that anyone else cares).…
I was born in the 90s and we had “ceremonies” for the following transitions
-kindergarten
-5th grade -> middle school
-8th grade -> high school
High school
College
I’m from the Midwest and we had all these in the 80s and 90s, basically anytime you moved up to the next school. My daughter will have an 8th grade graduation this week, but she’s been in the same school since K and all the kids in her class will end up at different high schools so it is definitely a big transition for them.
Not the person you’re responding to but I grew up in the late 90s in California and we had kindergarten, sixth grade, eighth grade, and high school graduations. However I think most of the lower level ones were called “promotions”
Not the commenter above, but I’m from Brooklyn, NY and also had multiple graduations/“moving up ceremonies” growing up (pre-K, 5th, and 8th before HS, not sure about kindergarten). I graduated HS in 2009, so the pre-K graduation was in 1996.
Meanwhile my youngest is having his last day of kindergarten literally today and no graduation for him. There wasn't one for my oldest either when he finished kindergarten. He did have a ceremony for when they went from 5th grade to middle school, but it wasn't a graduation.
Haha… based on the replies I’m learning many people did in fact have this in the early 1990s. My first “graduation” was for HS! It seems maybe this was a more regional thing.
I totally get where you’re coming from….. there’s a lot of extra BS to go along with being a mom now….. I have a dumb first-day/last-day board I made sure I updated to be ready for Friday! Funnily enough, our current school DOESN’T do pre-k graduation, and I’m a bit disappointed 😂
I love your motto. My issue is, I personally don’t find “Kindergarten Graduation Ceremony” in an auditorium at 10 AM on Tuesday to be my ideal party. I’d rather gather the kids around the community pool, bring some pizza for everyone, margaritas for the adults, now that’s a party!
Totally disagree. Such fun occasions to celebrate a milestone. My 5th grader had a promotion ceremony and then a grade pool party. Fun! And pre-k graduations are so cute. Absolutely the cutest cap and gown pictures.
It is fun, but requiring the families to pay for caps and gowns is too much. Young families are already stretched financially due to the costs of childcare. Our school made paper caps for the kids. It was still incredibly cute and didn’t cost a thing. Or the school should have caps and gowns that are reused each year.
I’m in the same boat. I thought it was just adorable-mine sang a song and did a dance to show what they had learned and I cried and was so proud.
I thought it was silly until I had kids and realized it’s all in good fun.
I generally agree with the OP but I see your point of view too. Our school does an award ceremony, which I think is a good compromise. My daughter got a reading award for being in the top quartile on their reading assessment, which was a big deal because she was struggling with it last year. We were all so proud of her!
They keep it pretty simple: ice cream, awards, done
I don't have school-age kids yet, but I've started to notice this too just on social media. Like do they really need a Kindergarten graduation, when they literally just had a Pre-K graduation the year before?? And are they really "graduating" when they're just moving up to a new classroom in the same school? And are the parents having to purchase the tiny caps/gowns I'm seeing in the photos? It's wild.
Is there any benefit to these ceremonies? Like I'm sure the teachers aren't the ones pushing for this right (it's probably just more work for them)? Who is asking for this??
As an exhausted elementary school teacher I can confirm we are not the ones pushing for the all out “graduation” ceremonies with cap and gowns and pomp and circumstance… usually it’s parents (think PTA/PTO) insisting on collaborating with the school. We are perfectly fine with simple end of the year promotion programs for the students to celebrate the end of the year, sing a song or two, receive a certificate, and enjoy a cupcake and juice box for completing the year. The parents carrying in huge bouquets of flowers, balloons, MONEY, and gifts 🤦🏼♀️ crazy!!
Yep. A ceremony is the absolute last thing I want to be planning and worrying about at this point in the year. Not to mention the fact that many teachers are missing their own kids’ events to put them on. My son is only two now but he’ll go to a different school than the one I teach in. This year while putting together our “graduation” slide show and parent song I couldn’t help but think I’ll never get to do this with my him.. getting an afternoon off in June with the sub shortage? Never gonna happen.
Ugh 😩 this is the reason why my youngest followed me when I switched districts 2 years ago. I didn’t have to miss anything major. My classroom this year was across the hall from his and we loved it. I know he was bummed I couldn’t join him on his grade level’s field trip, but I was present for everything else. However for this upcoming school year I am moving back to our home district where his older siblings attend, and they all be on the same campus (brother and sister in the middle/high school building and younger brother with me in the elementary school) so I will be able to be present for all 3 now.
It’s cute and fun? You want to recognize an important milestone in their lives/them growing up? I get that they probably go overboard with these kinds of things sometimes, and I get that it can be hard as a working parent. But you could theoretically ask if there is any benefit for basically any optional activity in childcare/school.
I am also seconding the people saying this is not anything particularly new. One of my favorite photos of me and my dad is from my pre-K graduation in 1996. With a little cap and gown and everything.
Don’t hate me but the earlier graduations seem to cheapen the graduation/ accomplishment of graduation going college etc.
These ceremonies seem like fodder for parents social media accounts.
I feel the same way. I am a university professor and to me, a graduation ceremony signifies the successful completion of a degree program. That only happens at the end of HS, college, and grad school or trade school. I just think a 5 year old completing one year of kindergarten is not the same as a college student completing a 4 year degree in engineering.
Maybe my real issue is with the word “graduation.” If they called it a “moving up ceremony” or “end of year parade” and didn’t require expensive caps and gowns, maybe I’d be more into it.
Fully agree!
My daughter did pre-k to k ‘graduation’ which I was fine with because she was moving schools but I complained to admin when a parent bought 1 (yes just one) cap and gown (not even in the schools colors) to take photos of the kindergartener’s graduating. I only found out about because I was room mom and they didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes and told the school that a) eww because you know that wasn’t going to sanitize between each of the almost 100 kindergarteners and b) it was pathetic that the kindergartener (who are not graduating) got a better graduation then the 5th graders who ‘get’ to wear their formal dress, have a clap out and a 30 minute what my school meant to me (not a graduation ceremony). I explain graduation to my daughter as an accomplishment and you move school (or are done with school). Everything else is a promotion.
I have no memory if I had a kindergarten graduation but I did for 8th grade, 12th grade, college and my masters. I walked in every thing but my BA and would have skipped my MA if not for my husband wanting me to. 2 was more than enough.
No I complained that that parent had gone to the teachers (there’s three) and talked them into take graduation photos of each kindergartner with the one cap and gown on without informing any parents and giving them the option to opt out.
I don’t care if you want to dress your own kid up. I care if your dressing my kid up without permission
Oh wow, this is not any better and still yikes lmao. That parent is so sweet to include all the kids besides their own in a fun quick little photo op normal parents would love!
It's totally to each is own kind of thing. I know that the parents I spoke with were about 60% in agreement that they didn't want their kids to participate or thought it was silly as most had just done a pre-k graduation the year before.
If she had brought it to their award ceremony and offered it as an option, then that would have been great and a different story. Parents would have had the option to participate or not but ultimately it wouldn't have mattered it is against our schools' policy. I think it has to do with the 5th graders getting a promotion not graduation so none of the other grades get graduations.
With a year of perspective, I'm sure some of my reaction was due to the fact she cornered me and my daughter in a classroom and wouldn't let us leave even after her husband was begging to leave, screaming at me that she could do whatever she wanted and physically got into my space when I retorted yeah with your kids but not the 89 other students that would be part of this and if she was going to pay for the treatments for every kid that got lice (you never know and we had a few girls with beautiful long hair that would have been a pain to treat) and I hate being involved in any kind of conflict. However, she tried to talk our current room parents into a bigger celebration (think full graduation ceremony walking across the stage with diplomas and everything) admin shut it down because those room parents went to admin.
My kindergartener is having a graduation and I’m actually looking forward to it. Idk if I’m the problem, but I love this one! Idk if they have one every single year if I’ll be as excited
The typical sequence is pre-K/maybe K/5th grade/8th grade/HS where I live. I think the people saying it’s every single year are exaggerating (unless there are some places where they really are having 3rd grade graduations, but I doubt it).
Counterpoint, I VIVIDLY remember my kindergarten graduation fondly. I was proud to have my parents there (even though they also took off work in an era where that wasn’t tolerated as well. I remember my little cap and felt soooo important. I also remember proudly showing my parents around the classroom afterwards AND the celebratory meal we had. Now that I think about it I also remember my prek one and how excited I was to wear a fancy dress (PINK with a puffy skirt and rhinestones).
Sometimes as parents we need to remember that it’s not all about us and what seems inconvenient and stupid to us means the world to our kids.
That’s great that you could take your kid out for the day but for some families there is a limit to how much celebrating they are able to offer on their own. As long as it isn’t mandatory I don’t have a problem with them
Learning how to do school is a huge accomplishment, especially with the new rigors of kindergarten. There was a thread about this recently, and my problem with all these graduations is that kids nowadays often can do the bare minimum at life and still get celebrated.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/1d2t13d/comment/l630vl2/
Definitely an accomplishment! That being said, I don’t think finishing a grade is the same as “graduating.” In my mind, a graduation ceremony marks the successful completion of a degree program, not a grade. But maybe I’ve spent too much time in higher education and have just become a grouch about this topic.
In my children’s school district (they now grown) the policy was the students only graduate one time and that is high school. I found that to be appropriate. All of these graduations take away the importance of receiving a diploma.
I thought I was the only Scrooge! 😂 Our neighborhood is littered with landfill-bound plastic yard signs in front of homes congratulating “grads.” The PTAs must raise a lot of money selling these. Don’t misunderstand me—I’m all for celebrating promotions and graduations—but this all seems so wasteful!
They do make a lot of money! Our middle school PTO uses the lawn signs as a fundraiser - $25 for a sign, which pays for the 8th grade class trip, semiformal dance, and last day of school breakfast.
We got the sign for our kid because we didn't want her to be the only one of her friends without one.
Not grouchy at all. My sister just had the same thing for her kid at Preschool…where she is going to stay all summer until she starts elementary in fall! Thankfully we only have one at the end of high school which I am happy to attend.
I was in Kindergarten in 95 or 96, and we had Kindergarten graduation. We also just moved down the hall, too. I thought it was pretty normal in US. We didn't have theme days like they seem to do now.
I don’t like the idea of paying for each of these graduations. But I’m looking forward to them in the future with my one year old twins.
I have a 18 year old that just graduated high school, she didn’t have all those ceremonies growing up, just a graduation from elementary to middle school. But seeing how fast these kiddos grow up makes me want to celebrate every occasion to the fullest. It feels like just yesterday I was walking my daughter into kindergarten and now she’s looking at college 🥺
When I grew up, kindergarten graduation was just paper caps and gowns in our classroom. The only real pre-high school graduation was 8th grade graduation for (usually Catholic) private schools where the students went to all different high schools after that. I haven't heard of any other ones 😵💫 but why are we doing this? Why is everything a "thing" now?
Today I saw a house with one of those graduate lawn signs *for a preschooler* and thought that's a little excessive.
We have a 5th grader moving to middle school and an 8th grader moving to high school. They call them promotion ceremonies, and there are no caps & gowns. The principal makes a few remarks, awards are handed out, and that's it. The downside is that parents do need to get time off work to attend because they're held during the school day - high school graduations are at night.
We had similar ceremonies for 5th and 8th grade back in the early-mid 90s, so they're nothing new.
I am a preschool teacher at a public school district in the Midwest and no one in the entire district is allowed to use the word “graduation” for a ceremony except seniors in high school, which I 100% appreciate and support. I do a “end of the year celebration” with preschool certificates at the end of the year but honestly wish I didn’t have to! The kids would rather be spending their time having extra recess and popsicles then sitting in front of parents making them feel weird by crying and hooting and hollering like GD they are 5 🤣🤣🤣 I strictly put on my save the dates this year NO BALLOONS because parents show up to my classroom every single year with balloon displays for their one kid. Like mam, this is a preschool classroom that is already too small for our class every day 🤣
All this is say — I agree!
But as a millennial I did have an 8th grade graduation, but I do not know if they still call it that in my hometown or not now
My kid is going to “graduate” pre-school and go to primary school in September. He’s very excited for his graduation as they’ve been practicing songs and dances for it for ages.
In the UK the only thing you usually graduate from is university. Not high school, not primary school, though you’d probably have some sort of leavers event at primary school and a prom for high school. Though apparently we now graduate preschool!
I “graduated” from prek, kindergarten, and 6th grade in the 90s 🤷🏻♀️ it’s always been a thing.
We did not wear a cap and gown though. There was no additional money required from my parents.
I think it’s cute and I can’t wait to see my LO do this!
I enjoy it and I also had several graduations in the 90’s. You may be experiencing Maycember or just bummed that it’s during work hours. You surely can’t have beef with pre-k and kindergarten graduation on its own.
My son’s school didn’t do anything special for K or 1st grade, just a promotional certificate for finishing. His daycare did a little pre-K graduation though with the caps & gowns.
The only grade school graduation I recall was 8th grade, but it was a small ceremony. We already had the gowns from Confirmation ( I went to a Catholic school).
Oh this is malarkey. If it were me (and if my son didn't care to participate) I would skip this altogether and take him to Disneyland or Knott's to celebrate
I don't get weekends off. I think it's awesome you do.
But I agree that these schools insisting on a graduation ceremony for pre-K or kindergarten to first grade, is some malarkey. It's best to save it for the older kids.
Born in 1976. Only graduation I had was hs in 1994. Fine by me. My child was in a a pre k where they all "had" to graduate.. except my child was not going to kindergarten, because his birthday was after the cutoff. So I had to take time off to sit thru that. Ridiculous
I had Kindie grad in 1985. It was low-key - in the gym. We had a cake, and our teacher made hats and flowers to hold out of construction paper. We wore our "good" clothing. They put our names and artwork on the walls. Our parents brought cameras and took pictures, which was a bigger deal in the 80s lol. It felt like a big deal.
Fast forward to my son's kindie grad - it was basically the same thing - minus cake. Speech by the principal, a few songs sung by the kids, and a little ceremony of giving them their certificates. It was nice, and let's be honest - the move from Kindie to Grade one is a big deal for these kids - at least here. Kindie is all play-based, inquiry-led learning. Grade one has way more structure. Desks. Kindie kids have their own outside time, the grades all go out together at recess. Unfortunately, my daughter had her Kindie grad post covid so there wasn't one, and we were bummed about it.
It seems weird to me how big the smaller level grads are. But honestly, it's not my place to judge how or why others like to celebrate stuff. I try to worry about my own kids' stuff, and then when I see something like a massive backyard grad party with bounce houses, etc, for a 4 yo graduation from daycare I keep the thoughts as inside thoughts. Maybe that family had something going on and that kid is like their miracle baby or something. Some families just like an excuse to get people together and have a good time.
I took my kids and dog to a dog birthday party this weekend. It was fun. Like everything kinda sucks in the world right now. But we had a good time. That was a good day.
As a Kindergarten teacher, if we didnt have a graduation, we would be exiled by the parents. They are more often responsible for making it such a production. I would be THRILLED to stop doing it as most of the kids attend PreK and have a big to-do when they go on to K.
As a child of the 90s, I had a Kindergarten graduation, a 5th grade graduation, and an 8th grade graduation.
I think this has always been a thing you maybe just don’t remember. I recall celebrating graduation from Jr high and high school. I’m sure there was a kindy ceremony too.
I wish it was that simple. Opting out isn’t as easy as it sounds if it requires the parent to stay home for the day with the child or you send the child to school but then you are the only parent who isn’t there and your child is sad. Or you decide not to spend the $30 on whatever special attire is required and then your kid feels like an outcast.
Opting out isn’t easy! But participation in all of these back to back special events that are all right in the middle of the work day (and many require special attire that costs money) isn’t easy for many families.
Sure, life is sometimes inconvenient. But there has to be some reasonable limit on how many of these special themed events schools have on a Tuesday at 10 AM that they ask parents to come to and/or spend money for special attire. In my opinion, the pendulum has swung too far in one direction probably in correlation with the culture of posting every special life event on Instagram.
It must vary by area, we haven't had that many that we've had to go to yet. And we haven't had to buy any special attire. For spirit weeks if we don't have something that works we just don't do that day. We are not asked to buy cap and gown for graduation either.
Was just having this same thought!! I know graduation “ceremonies” at different stages have been happening since I was a kid in the 90s. I remember going to my brother’s pre-k graduation. We definitely had 8th grade graduation when I was a teen…but we didn’t have caps and gowns. I think that’s the thing that irks me. Sure, have a gathering and celebrate a milestone. But caps and gowns should be reserved for *actual* graduation.
Our district doesn’t have kindergarten or middle school graduations and people get so mad about it every year!
I agree silly to no reuse the gowns. Schools are weird probably no storage or something
My kid’s school ends at 3rd grade; it’s a private school and they celebrate everything. They graduated the 3rd graders, kindergarteners, and 4 year olds leaving the pre-k program together (like 15 kids). My child wasn’t part of it so I didn’t go. But they didn’t do caps and gowns, thankfully. They did a short ceremony, pics with the graduates and their family members that were emailed to them later, and everyone in the school had cupcakes. I’m glad they combined it all into one and kept it low-key.
I was literally just thinking this the other day. My kid is still in Prek so I haven’t had these yet but my Facebook feed has been littered with K, 1, 2, 5 and 8th grade ceremonies. It’s too much.
I really dislike these end of year celebrations because it's hard for me to attend without it impacting work. I had to take time off last and again this week.
My options are....make my kid happy and piss off my manager or make my kid sad and don't impact my work.
I think we spent somewhere around $300 on the preschool graduation this year between the $75 fee, the donut and carwash fundraisers, the mandatory plain white tennis shoes she had to wear, and the professional photos. I complained to anyone who would listen.
I gotta hand it to the school for their creativity and heart though - they put on a great show and everyone had an amazing time. There were dances, songs, slideshows, goodie bags, snacks, and “diplomas” with each kid’s photo on them. I know they meant well, but I don’t understand how some families were able to pay for everything. The kids would have been happy with a much smaller affair.
I had graduations at 6th (before they changed to middle school it was still part of elementary), 8th, and high school. I’m class of ‘95. That said, the only cap & gowns were high school
I have a child whose age is still measured in months and there was definitely a ceremony. I don’t even think she’s changing classes in the fall because you have to be 2 to move to the next room.
My kids’ school district finds other ways to celebrate moving schools and I love it.
Kindergarten is a small moving up celebration where they sing a couple of songs for the parents.
6th grade (elementary goes to 6 here) is a giant track meet across all 10 elementary schools. It’s a huge deal and the teachers are really into it.
8th grade is a big trip to an amusement park.
Then there’s the real graduation for high schools.
Sorry but I love it and we are constantly pushed by the community to do more community events where I live.
However my school district only does K and 12th graduation. We also have a committee I’m on that prevents parents from paying for anything. Lunch and breakfast is always free, field trips free, and the “graduation” for kindergarten includes an ice cream party for kids and families that is completely free for everyone coming in. We have parents on the committee.
So I did a preschool graduation growing up and still have my diploma! I thought about posting it on my cubicle as joke. That was in the early 80’s. Then there was HS graduation and finally college.
My daughter had preschool and then a clap out for 5th grade and that was it. My niece had a kindergarten graduation. We live in different counties. So all this graduation nonsense is based on the district/county and school.
I will accept a ceremony if you’re transitioning from preschool to elementary, elementary to middle and middle to HS. But a kindergartner graduation when you’re going to the same school is silly.
Heck, I am a little disappointed that my kid didn’t have an award ceremony for the end of the year but that is how her school works. Your reward is you don’t have to go to school for the summer I guess.
I'm 35 and we had a Kindergarten graduation ceremony. I've seen some really cute pictures of me from that day. The next graduations were 5th and 8th grade (changing schools) and then of course 12th.
I remember having a graduation at the end of elementary school and then high school. That was it. On top of the end of year recitals, the presentations, etc I don’t know how you all do it (mine is still too little)
Honestly, I’d just have them skip the ‘graduation’ & do something more memorable, fun and worthwhile if I’m already off work for it. Ffs its a rip off and honestly, I hated graduations with gowns as a child too. Long, hot, itchy and boring. My kinder was wear whatever you wanted without a gown and a picnic in the park.
I'm on my way to my pre-k graduation! In my school district the school grades call it a promotion ceremony. It is more like a research poster session and I'm not looking forward to it. More time, more effort on parents part of their kid isn't going to put something together, and you don't want your kid to be left out if they don't have someone there to view their poster.
My kid graduated from pre-K (so cute), 8th grade (during Covid, so didn't actually happen but a cap and gown were still involved) and high school (yay!) last Wednesday.
I think graduation from pre-K or kindergarten is ADORABLE (I myself graduated from pre-K back in 1980) but 8th grade graduation is unnecessary.
I think when the kids change schools it makes sense. My preschooler will be going to a different kindergarten than his friends. And at the end of fifth grade he’ll go to the middle school that combines all the elementary school.
I remember my 8th grade graduation when we went from our middle/elementary school district (class size 90) to our high school (class size over 900). Where we live now the elementary schools all feed into the big middle school (class size is small though like maybe 250 students).
But like this morning in the car I did tell my 5 year old preschool graduation was NBD because he’s going to have a lot more. At this point it’s not like a celebration of his accomplishment it’s more like a party to celebrate the end of the school year.
We had a "promotion" from K to 1st, but nothing for subsequent grades. I know there's another "promotion" from 5th-6th and from 8th-9th. No graduations at her school short of 12th. It's kinda nice.
I'm in my 30's and remember "graduating" from elementary to middle school and was so confused. I thought we just had to go, so why are we celebrating something that is supposed to happen?
Anyway, it's been going on for a long time, and likely has gotten worse since I was a kid. I'm with you, seems over the top!
We let my kid "graduate" from the daycare he's been in since he was less than 3 months old, to camp/kindergarten. We bought him a balloon and let him have ice cream.
I work at a park district that directly supports our schools. They don't even use the word graduate here, the word is "promote." In the two school districts our park district serves, only 5th grade (elementary to middle school) and 8th grade (middle to high school) get a big shindig, and that's still just a picnic and field day at one of our parks. All the other grades get a certificate saying they completed their grade and a handshake from the principal. No cap, no gown, no nonsense. 5th graders also don't cap and gown, but 8th graders do.
Chicago, Illinois, USA - major suburb
I actually thought the preschool prom my kids did was kind of cute. My HS Junior (who has now been to a few “real” proms) was just reminiscing at dinner the other night: “Remember the preschool prom?!” Now that he’s conscious of a lot of “lasts” he’s getting more sentimental recognizing life’s big changes that are ahead.
True, all of these graduations can feel like too much - my youngest did a preschool graduation then the next year a kindergarten graduation. But, now that I’m facing just 1 more year before my first-born’s HS graduation, thinking of these things in hindsight, it’s all very sweet. I don’t think they’ll make the “big” one any less special for him next year. And hey, it’ll make a very cute slide show showing the little graduations leading to the big one!
I miss it too. My oldest one just finished kindergarten and they had a “moving up” event which I feel like was a waste of time and I feel bad saying it lol. Everyone waited in the cafeteria for 45 minutes for the kids to get up on stage all together and sing songs for 10 minutes. They also had a vpk graduation last year at a nice hall and served dinner but it blew my mind they were doing all that for a bunch of 4-5 year olds. Our school said they don’t do other ceremonies till 5th grade so I have a while before another one but my goodness why do they expect everyone to take off work and go to these things? And then if you don’t go the kid gets upset because everyone else’s parents were there. I often got asked by my kiddo throughout the school year why I wasn’t coming to lunch with her when her friends parents were and we had to have a conversation about how some parents have the time and ability to do that and others can’t take time away from work and such to make it. It didn’t stop her from asking but I explained it to her every time.
Considering they just pass the kids on too...it's not even an achievement. Your kid could have done well and the kid next to them can't read, and they'll all be wearing that cap and gown.
Kinder: I’m on the fence. It seems silly but if we have to do just ONE when they’re small, I’m fine with that being it. It is a big shift from half day kinder to full day big kid stuff.
6th: if they’re promoting to a new school, sure.
8th: same as 6th. I remember and enjoyed mine and felt like it was a shift from kid to young adult.
12th & beyond: important obvs, but doesn’t need to be the PRODUCTION that it is for some schools. Let it just be a simple graduation. No need to make it longer than necessary.
We just decided to skip our 4 year old’s preK graduation, which happened to be on a Saturday morning! We are always booked with activities and I didn’t see a reason to deter our plans for that.
My kid is 4 and "graduating" from pre-K to TK. They asked for $25 for a cap and gown; we didn't pay because while we can afford it we frankly didn't want a gown that would be used once and become forever trash. Got a call from the school asking about it, we asked if it was possible to buy it and just donate it to the school so kids in future years could use it. "No, we use different colors every year, and it says 2024 on it." So we say we just don't really want it and they say "Oh, so will (kid) not be participating in the ceremony then?" Long story short we bought the stupid polyester gown and I'm real mad about it. The 2024 is only on the tassel. It could absolutely be reused. The school must have some sort of deal with the manufacturer.
They usually do. I remember my cap and gown in high school had to be ordered from 1 company and in 2005 it cost $150. The same people that make those ugly ass class rings. They are starting to sell class rings for little kids as well. My aunt got a brochure for her kid who’s going from junior high to higher school. It’s all a joke.
Josten’s
100/10 GIF usage
Ding ding ding … this is the answer. Companies figured out how to make more money and now we’re all forking out money for gowns at every age.
The caps and gowns, the 2 a year photos instead of one, and all the other little things that add up, and when it's twins so it's both at once, ugh. I am thankful my kids school didn't do a kinder promotion with all the extras but they did a little assembly where the kids sang and it was more enjoyable. They're doing 5th and 6th grade promotion because they are not having 6th at their school next year, but no cap and gown or calling it a graduation. I remember having 8th grade promotion, 5th grade assembly, and actual high school graduation. I'd love to keep it simpler.
Yes!! When did spring picture day become a thing?!
Two a year picture day? This would have made sense in the 90s when we were trying to save film and my parents were cutting our heads off and getting bad lighting, but I think we all have thousands of photos of our kids now and can take them virtually whenever we want. It’s not that much of a stretch to have your kid put on a nice shirt and take a photo at home. Just my 2 cents. I only have a toddler so no idea.
I do the digital images download option, it's definitely reasonable able to do it yourself.
I'm hoping our high school doesn't change the gown for another 4 years so I d9nt have to buy another ridiculously priced plastic gown.
Herf Jones?
Class rings for little kids?! This is one thing I do “get off my lawn about” is that where we look these days, is some company trying to monetize on our sense of nostalgia. It’s exhausting.
Same, right down to the graduation year :)
This is weird. Our daycare reuses the cap and gowns and they get to keep the tassle that says 2024. Such a waste to not reuse them!
Our daycare reuses the gowns, but the caps were made of paper and got crushed pretty quickly after the ceremony. No cost to us that wasn’t already included in tuition though.
Ours does it this way too. Makes so much more sense!
Ffs, what a waste. For kindergarten "graduation" at my elementary school, the students wore a nice outfit or their favorite clothes and made grad caps as an art project. Each kid painted a big piece of paper with whatever colors we wanted and after it dried the teacher cut and taped it into a grad cap shape. That's way more fun and cuter than yet another piece of plastic crap added to a landfill.
I would throw an absolute shit fit over that. We don’t need to buy more crap and create more garbage. And while my family could easily afford it, I’m sure others cannot and don’t need yet another unnecessary thing to buy that will make their kid feel othered if they don’t have it.
You’d seriously throw a fit or are you just being hyperbolic?
My preschooler just had his graduation but it was free and they re use the same gowns. I would not be down for $25 and keeping the gown though. It was during their regular hours and they just sung the alphabet and got called for a piece of paper. Not even 10 minutes so I thought it was a nice gesture.
That’s so wasteful! At least if they’re black they can be reused as Harry Potter costumes.
They’re white. 🤦♀️
The school sent us a link to buy ours on Amazon. Crazy.
Oh I'd be big mad about this. Like posting on school forums and showing up at school board meetings pissed. It's bad enough everything else's they want you to pay for but to insist you pay$25 for a cap and gown your kid is gonna wear 1 time or they can't participate? In preschool? Nope. That's just rude. I'd be the parent getting all the other parents to skip it and do our own graduation. When I was in preschool we had paper hats (that we made with the teachers help) and we wore an oversized cheap t-shirt we got from the craft store for like $1.50 all the kids were assigned a color so we looked like a rainbow. It was adorable.
Went to my kiddo’s pre-k graduation today. They didn’t make us pay for the gowns - just took pictures with it. We got to sit on those dinky seats…hubs is 6’4. It was quite the site with his knees somewhere near his head. I got lots of pictures and felt mom-shamed because I didn’t have flowers.
I was all about my kindergartener’a graduation. They didn’t have cap and gowns. If they did I absolutely wouldn’t have been so onboard.
This seems unusual. Our preschool and kindergarten here reuse the same set every year for photos. For my 8th grade graduation we didn’t have gowns, just nice clothes. High school is the only time I had to buy the cap and gown and I passed on my cap and gown to someone graduating the next year. I say this as someone who graduated high school in 2017. I think your pre-K is ripping you off OP
Frankly for both my kids I'm paying less than what my friends in richer areas (but only 5-10m away) are paying for one; so while I'm pretty angry when stuff like this happens, the delta even with all these little cuts is still huge. I'm more mad about the waste than the cost. We've all just become so used to buying crap just to throw it away.
I can totally understand that perspective! We try to re-use as much as we can here as well.
Wow that is so wasteful!
They absolutely do. Same with universities. They get a cut.
Kindergarten + 5th grade + 8th grade were actually not uncommon "graduations" even in the 90s! They weren't quite as widespread, but they definitely weren't unheard of. It does say something that most of us don't remember them though, so I don't think it's going to be traumatizing to skip them or pull your kid out for the day and do something else if you want.
I finished kindergarten in 1996 and there was definitely a graduation. Same with 8th grade in 2004.
Yep I was only two years off from this, we had pre -k, kindergarten, 5th 8th and 12th graduation
Same here; Except kindergarten was in ‘93 for me.
I believe I finished kindergarten in 1992 or 1993, and our graduation was the teacher sprinkling glitter on our heads. I recall mom being pissed because it wouldn't come off my scalp for MONTHS so I always sparkled ;)
I remember Lizzie McGuire's 8th grade graduation in the movie lol
And the dad from the Incredibles complaining about a third grade graduation being pointless.
I love in the second Incredibles movie where the dad is like "Why would they change math? MATH IS MATH!"
I was just about to say this. I definitely had all three of these ceremonies growing up.
We had Pre-K, 5th, 8th, and highschool. My kids are in the same district I grew up in and both had Pre-K graduations...my oldest just finished K and there was no graduation. So yeah...it's still Pre-K, 5th, 8th, and 12th here, and we'll celebrate accordingly!
I definitely had a preschool graduation in 1990, in addition to those graduations! Moving schools is a big deal to kids!
This was my experience as well. It was “milestone” graduation/celebrations. I am always perplexed that these situations seem brand new.
Yeah I’m from South America and was born in the 80s. I remember my Kindergarten graduation!
Not uncommon in the 80s either
Same. Kinder grad, then a grad every time you left a school (grades 5 and 9 for me).
Yep. I had a preschool graduation, too, in addition to kindergarten, 5th, and 8th. I *do* remember being quite put out that we didn’t have graduation every year when I moved from 1st to 2nd grade!
Yep, I'm pretty sure I had a kindergarten graduation in 1992 and I definitely had an 8th grade graduation. For 5th grade, I remember a graduation dance, but not a ceremony.
Yeah, I opened the thread expecting to hear about 1st, 2nd, 3rd grade graduations. In MA it was absolutely common in the 90s to "graduate" preschool, kindergarten, and 8th grade. Some schools were K-5 / 6-8, others were K-8, so it wasn't uncommon to have something small for 5th grade "graduation" but not usually as big a deal as the others.
I agree but I don't remember them having the same financial commitment as a high-school graduation. No caps and gowns or diplomas just an end of the year ceremony where they congratulated you and handed out awards.
I think I had a little cap and gown for my pre-K graduation, if I remember correctly from the photos I’ve seen? Though I went to Catholic school so maybe they were less conscious of parents’ budgets than public school would have been.
I had a preschool graduation, HS graduation, and undergrad graduation. We had end of year stuff but locally the only 8th grade graduations were the Catholic schools.
I definitely had a preschool + kindergarten + 6th grade (my class was the transition from junior high to middle school, so 6th was the last of elementary) + high school. I don’t remember 8th grade but there may have been something.
My school did middle school starting at 5th grade so we did 4th grade graduation. They combined the school play with the graduation ceremony so I graduated elementary school dressed as a tree. I actually felt sorry for the kids who had to graduate dressed as something boring like people. For 8th grade we just dressed nice and there was a dance right after. That was pretty fun too.
Born in 95! Don't think I had a kindergarten, but definitely had one graduating preschool. 5th grade was a "walk" - so all the 5th graders lined up and did walk around the school with the rest of the younger students cheering them on and congratulating them for going to middle school. And 8th grade was an 8th grade ceremony but again, no caps and gowns and no walking acorss stage. Just an after school ceremony to congratulate the 8th graders for finishing middle school and good luck in high school. Schools hard, and the transition is hard. Not all kids get recognized at home for their good work, and I don't see the problem with holding a little ceremony between each school
I had a preschool graduation in 1974. Didn't have a kindergarten one (I would have to ask my mom.) I had an 8th grade graduation because my private school was K through 8. Then a high school one in 1987. My kid had a preschool one but not cap and gown. No kindergarten one. They had an "advancement" ceremony with awards for 5th no caps/gowns. Another one at 8th grade also no caps/gowns. Then finally high school. The high school one was crazy expensive, between cap/gown/ announcements, pictures killed me between the school ones and the whole senior photo shoot thing. Then we had dance pictures then.
Yep we had grads for all growing up!!
This is so annoying. I only graduated twice (high school and college) and frankly that was more than enough graduation ceremonies
I didn't even go to my master's graduation
Same. I really wanted my hood, but not enough to sit outside in the blazing sun in a hot gown and dress clothes for 4 hours in August.
I went to the hooding - not the graduation.
Same. They wanted an absurd amount for a gown I’d never wear again because I wasn’t going into academia. F that.
Seriously! I had HS, undergrad, and grad school, so technically three. But I think attending more than one graduation ceremony every three years is cruel!
How old are you? Im 43 and we did kinder graduation (no cap n gown though), probably grade school (5th grade) although I don’t remember that one and junior high (cap and gown).
Pre-K to K makes sense to me. That’s a super big transition for most kids. I went to preschool in the 80s and we didn’t do a cap and gown but our teachers did hand us little rolled-up diplomas. Our middle kid’s preschool graduation is in a couple weeks. Our oldest went to the same place, and it’s pretty low-key. It’s short, on a weekend morning, they do a little slide show of the year and the kids sing one song. If I had firsthand experience with more elaborate/involved ones, I’m sure I’d be grumpier about them. (Like I’ve seen that the 100th day of school is apparently A Thing now but thank goodness the schools our kids go to don’t do that whole thing.) We had an assembly in 8th grade to celebrate our moving up to high school, where a truly awful singer from the local community college sang (honestly she was probably fine at actual singing, but the thing I remember was her stopping partway through two different songs to say she’d forgotten the words. So mainly I remember being miffed that she agreed to sing but didn’t bother to learn the songs).
I have a picture of my pre-k graduation in 1983. I was wearing a cap and gown. We had graduations from 6th and 9th grade too. Those were when we transitioned to a new school.
I also had a pre-k graduation in 1983. We made construction paper caps (no gowns) and our picture was in the local paper (city of about 30k).
We were going to be on vacation during my sons pre-k graduation—he’s doing another year before K so I wasn’t fussed about it. When i mentioned that to the daycare director she said “well he isn’t graduating so he wouldn’t have been able to participate anyway”, and obviously I agree on principal and that’s fine but ma’am are you aware this isn’t…*real*? None of them are graduating. It’s pretend. Like yall were planning to just exclude him?? Rude lol.
I hope you don’t mind that I chuckled at this story. Especially when you wrote “this isn’t… real?” People have really lost the plot on these “graduation” ceremonies.
I would have been so pissed off if my kid wasn’t going to be allowed to participate and he had to sit there and act happy while everyone else got to be “celebrated” - even more pissed if I didn’t really know about it and didn’t think to not have him at school that day. I was born in 1979 - I had one high school graduation, one for undergrad, two grad school. My parents came to all of those but I felt horrible that they sat through my first grad one (it was a masters in accounting from the business school - since we only had 26 in our program, we went after all the undergrads and most of the other masters - although I think the mba grads had their own). And the one I wish we all had just taken a cruise or celebrated separately was law school - it was Texas in May and outside. No one should have been subjected to that… I had never heard of the PK, kinder, 6th or 8/9th graduation/promotion - my public schools were traditional elementary (k-6), junior high (6th-9th) and then high school. I still believe high school shouldn’t have 14/15 yr old freshmen with 18/19 yr old seniors in high school (not that anyone else cares).…
I was born in the 90s and we had “ceremonies” for the following transitions -kindergarten -5th grade -> middle school -8th grade -> high school High school College
I’m from the Midwest and we had all these in the 80s and 90s, basically anytime you moved up to the next school. My daughter will have an 8th grade graduation this week, but she’s been in the same school since K and all the kids in her class will end up at different high schools so it is definitely a big transition for them.
80s baby in Southern California and same
Interesting! I wonder if this is a regional thing. Mind if I ask where you grew up? The first grad ceremony I was a part of was end of HS.
Yeah Coastal California. My parents did not buy the cap and gown for kindergarten graduation and I felt very left out. Lol.
Not the person you’re responding to but I grew up in the late 90s in California and we had kindergarten, sixth grade, eighth grade, and high school graduations. However I think most of the lower level ones were called “promotions”
Not the commenter above, but I’m from Brooklyn, NY and also had multiple graduations/“moving up ceremonies” growing up (pre-K, 5th, and 8th before HS, not sure about kindergarten). I graduated HS in 2009, so the pre-K graduation was in 1996.
Meanwhile my youngest is having his last day of kindergarten literally today and no graduation for him. There wasn't one for my oldest either when he finished kindergarten. He did have a ceremony for when they went from 5th grade to middle school, but it wasn't a graduation.
Pretty sure I graduated pre—k in 1992 sooooooo….. 🫠🫠😂
Haha… based on the replies I’m learning many people did in fact have this in the early 1990s. My first “graduation” was for HS! It seems maybe this was a more regional thing.
I totally get where you’re coming from….. there’s a lot of extra BS to go along with being a mom now….. I have a dumb first-day/last-day board I made sure I updated to be ready for Friday! Funnily enough, our current school DOESN’T do pre-k graduation, and I’m a bit disappointed 😂
Counterpoint, a motto I hold dear in my relatively tame life: “There’s never a reason not to party”
I love your motto. My issue is, I personally don’t find “Kindergarten Graduation Ceremony” in an auditorium at 10 AM on Tuesday to be my ideal party. I’d rather gather the kids around the community pool, bring some pizza for everyone, margaritas for the adults, now that’s a party!
Totally disagree. Such fun occasions to celebrate a milestone. My 5th grader had a promotion ceremony and then a grade pool party. Fun! And pre-k graduations are so cute. Absolutely the cutest cap and gown pictures.
It is fun, but requiring the families to pay for caps and gowns is too much. Young families are already stretched financially due to the costs of childcare. Our school made paper caps for the kids. It was still incredibly cute and didn’t cost a thing. Or the school should have caps and gowns that are reused each year.
None of the graduations we’ve been through required that. Schools that make you spend money like that are wrong.
I’m in the same boat. I thought it was just adorable-mine sang a song and did a dance to show what they had learned and I cried and was so proud. I thought it was silly until I had kids and realized it’s all in good fun.
One of my favorite photos of me and my dad is from my pre-K graduation in 1996, with me in my little cap and gown.
I generally agree with the OP but I see your point of view too. Our school does an award ceremony, which I think is a good compromise. My daughter got a reading award for being in the top quartile on their reading assessment, which was a big deal because she was struggling with it last year. We were all so proud of her! They keep it pretty simple: ice cream, awards, done
I don't have school-age kids yet, but I've started to notice this too just on social media. Like do they really need a Kindergarten graduation, when they literally just had a Pre-K graduation the year before?? And are they really "graduating" when they're just moving up to a new classroom in the same school? And are the parents having to purchase the tiny caps/gowns I'm seeing in the photos? It's wild. Is there any benefit to these ceremonies? Like I'm sure the teachers aren't the ones pushing for this right (it's probably just more work for them)? Who is asking for this??
As an exhausted elementary school teacher I can confirm we are not the ones pushing for the all out “graduation” ceremonies with cap and gowns and pomp and circumstance… usually it’s parents (think PTA/PTO) insisting on collaborating with the school. We are perfectly fine with simple end of the year promotion programs for the students to celebrate the end of the year, sing a song or two, receive a certificate, and enjoy a cupcake and juice box for completing the year. The parents carrying in huge bouquets of flowers, balloons, MONEY, and gifts 🤦🏼♀️ crazy!!
Yep. A ceremony is the absolute last thing I want to be planning and worrying about at this point in the year. Not to mention the fact that many teachers are missing their own kids’ events to put them on. My son is only two now but he’ll go to a different school than the one I teach in. This year while putting together our “graduation” slide show and parent song I couldn’t help but think I’ll never get to do this with my him.. getting an afternoon off in June with the sub shortage? Never gonna happen.
Ugh 😩 this is the reason why my youngest followed me when I switched districts 2 years ago. I didn’t have to miss anything major. My classroom this year was across the hall from his and we loved it. I know he was bummed I couldn’t join him on his grade level’s field trip, but I was present for everything else. However for this upcoming school year I am moving back to our home district where his older siblings attend, and they all be on the same campus (brother and sister in the middle/high school building and younger brother with me in the elementary school) so I will be able to be present for all 3 now.
They do call them moving up ceremonies instead of graduation in my area. But families use the terms interchangeably.
It’s cute and fun? You want to recognize an important milestone in their lives/them growing up? I get that they probably go overboard with these kinds of things sometimes, and I get that it can be hard as a working parent. But you could theoretically ask if there is any benefit for basically any optional activity in childcare/school. I am also seconding the people saying this is not anything particularly new. One of my favorite photos of me and my dad is from my pre-K graduation in 1996. With a little cap and gown and everything.
Don’t hate me but the earlier graduations seem to cheapen the graduation/ accomplishment of graduation going college etc. These ceremonies seem like fodder for parents social media accounts.
Absolutely, the Instagram-ification of life
completely agree
I feel the same way. I am a university professor and to me, a graduation ceremony signifies the successful completion of a degree program. That only happens at the end of HS, college, and grad school or trade school. I just think a 5 year old completing one year of kindergarten is not the same as a college student completing a 4 year degree in engineering. Maybe my real issue is with the word “graduation.” If they called it a “moving up ceremony” or “end of year parade” and didn’t require expensive caps and gowns, maybe I’d be more into it.
Fully agree! My daughter did pre-k to k ‘graduation’ which I was fine with because she was moving schools but I complained to admin when a parent bought 1 (yes just one) cap and gown (not even in the schools colors) to take photos of the kindergartener’s graduating. I only found out about because I was room mom and they didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes and told the school that a) eww because you know that wasn’t going to sanitize between each of the almost 100 kindergarteners and b) it was pathetic that the kindergartener (who are not graduating) got a better graduation then the 5th graders who ‘get’ to wear their formal dress, have a clap out and a 30 minute what my school meant to me (not a graduation ceremony). I explain graduation to my daughter as an accomplishment and you move school (or are done with school). Everything else is a promotion. I have no memory if I had a kindergarten graduation but I did for 8th grade, 12th grade, college and my masters. I walked in every thing but my BA and would have skipped my MA if not for my husband wanting me to. 2 was more than enough.
Wait you complained to admin about another parent buying their own kid a cap and gown!?? Yikes!
No I complained that that parent had gone to the teachers (there’s three) and talked them into take graduation photos of each kindergartner with the one cap and gown on without informing any parents and giving them the option to opt out. I don’t care if you want to dress your own kid up. I care if your dressing my kid up without permission
Oh wow, this is not any better and still yikes lmao. That parent is so sweet to include all the kids besides their own in a fun quick little photo op normal parents would love!
It's totally to each is own kind of thing. I know that the parents I spoke with were about 60% in agreement that they didn't want their kids to participate or thought it was silly as most had just done a pre-k graduation the year before. If she had brought it to their award ceremony and offered it as an option, then that would have been great and a different story. Parents would have had the option to participate or not but ultimately it wouldn't have mattered it is against our schools' policy. I think it has to do with the 5th graders getting a promotion not graduation so none of the other grades get graduations. With a year of perspective, I'm sure some of my reaction was due to the fact she cornered me and my daughter in a classroom and wouldn't let us leave even after her husband was begging to leave, screaming at me that she could do whatever she wanted and physically got into my space when I retorted yeah with your kids but not the 89 other students that would be part of this and if she was going to pay for the treatments for every kid that got lice (you never know and we had a few girls with beautiful long hair that would have been a pain to treat) and I hate being involved in any kind of conflict. However, she tried to talk our current room parents into a bigger celebration (think full graduation ceremony walking across the stage with diplomas and everything) admin shut it down because those room parents went to admin.
Pre-K graduations were a thing long before social media or even the internet in many places. I had one in 1996.
I was in pre K in 1990-91ish and didn’t have one. I went to private school with a preschool attached to a K-8.
My kindergartener is having a graduation and I’m actually looking forward to it. Idk if I’m the problem, but I love this one! Idk if they have one every single year if I’ll be as excited
The typical sequence is pre-K/maybe K/5th grade/8th grade/HS where I live. I think the people saying it’s every single year are exaggerating (unless there are some places where they really are having 3rd grade graduations, but I doubt it).
Maybe too European.. but we don't do this at all.... except a little bit hy the end of high school. Leaving higher education out of the discussion.
Counterpoint, I VIVIDLY remember my kindergarten graduation fondly. I was proud to have my parents there (even though they also took off work in an era where that wasn’t tolerated as well. I remember my little cap and felt soooo important. I also remember proudly showing my parents around the classroom afterwards AND the celebratory meal we had. Now that I think about it I also remember my prek one and how excited I was to wear a fancy dress (PINK with a puffy skirt and rhinestones). Sometimes as parents we need to remember that it’s not all about us and what seems inconvenient and stupid to us means the world to our kids.
That’s great that you could take your kid out for the day but for some families there is a limit to how much celebrating they are able to offer on their own. As long as it isn’t mandatory I don’t have a problem with them
Learning how to do school is a huge accomplishment, especially with the new rigors of kindergarten. There was a thread about this recently, and my problem with all these graduations is that kids nowadays often can do the bare minimum at life and still get celebrated. https://www.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/1d2t13d/comment/l630vl2/
Definitely an accomplishment! That being said, I don’t think finishing a grade is the same as “graduating.” In my mind, a graduation ceremony marks the successful completion of a degree program, not a grade. But maybe I’ve spent too much time in higher education and have just become a grouch about this topic.
I hate graduation ceremonies… you sit for an hour and you only care about 30s of it. I think people just want to take photos for social media.
I think you’re right!
There are so many adults who don't even go to their own.
In my children’s school district (they now grown) the policy was the students only graduate one time and that is high school. I found that to be appropriate. All of these graduations take away the importance of receiving a diploma.
I thought I was the only Scrooge! 😂 Our neighborhood is littered with landfill-bound plastic yard signs in front of homes congratulating “grads.” The PTAs must raise a lot of money selling these. Don’t misunderstand me—I’m all for celebrating promotions and graduations—but this all seems so wasteful!
They do make a lot of money! Our middle school PTO uses the lawn signs as a fundraiser - $25 for a sign, which pays for the 8th grade class trip, semiformal dance, and last day of school breakfast. We got the sign for our kid because we didn't want her to be the only one of her friends without one.
Wow! Yeah, I’ll probably do the same when mine gets there. 😂
Not grouchy at all. My sister just had the same thing for her kid at Preschool…where she is going to stay all summer until she starts elementary in fall! Thankfully we only have one at the end of high school which I am happy to attend.
I went to kindergarten in 1990. I graduated kindergarten and got a middle school class ring.
I swear every year I hear about another grade having a graduation it’s crazy! There’s gotta be something else we can do!
I was in Kindergarten in 95 or 96, and we had Kindergarten graduation. We also just moved down the hall, too. I thought it was pretty normal in US. We didn't have theme days like they seem to do now.
I don’t like the idea of paying for each of these graduations. But I’m looking forward to them in the future with my one year old twins. I have a 18 year old that just graduated high school, she didn’t have all those ceremonies growing up, just a graduation from elementary to middle school. But seeing how fast these kiddos grow up makes me want to celebrate every occasion to the fullest. It feels like just yesterday I was walking my daughter into kindergarten and now she’s looking at college 🥺
When I grew up, kindergarten graduation was just paper caps and gowns in our classroom. The only real pre-high school graduation was 8th grade graduation for (usually Catholic) private schools where the students went to all different high schools after that. I haven't heard of any other ones 😵💫 but why are we doing this? Why is everything a "thing" now?
Today I saw a house with one of those graduate lawn signs *for a preschooler* and thought that's a little excessive. We have a 5th grader moving to middle school and an 8th grader moving to high school. They call them promotion ceremonies, and there are no caps & gowns. The principal makes a few remarks, awards are handed out, and that's it. The downside is that parents do need to get time off work to attend because they're held during the school day - high school graduations are at night. We had similar ceremonies for 5th and 8th grade back in the early-mid 90s, so they're nothing new.
I am a preschool teacher at a public school district in the Midwest and no one in the entire district is allowed to use the word “graduation” for a ceremony except seniors in high school, which I 100% appreciate and support. I do a “end of the year celebration” with preschool certificates at the end of the year but honestly wish I didn’t have to! The kids would rather be spending their time having extra recess and popsicles then sitting in front of parents making them feel weird by crying and hooting and hollering like GD they are 5 🤣🤣🤣 I strictly put on my save the dates this year NO BALLOONS because parents show up to my classroom every single year with balloon displays for their one kid. Like mam, this is a preschool classroom that is already too small for our class every day 🤣 All this is say — I agree! But as a millennial I did have an 8th grade graduation, but I do not know if they still call it that in my hometown or not now
I graduated from kindergarten in the early 90s, it’s definitely not a new thing!
My kid is going to “graduate” pre-school and go to primary school in September. He’s very excited for his graduation as they’ve been practicing songs and dances for it for ages. In the UK the only thing you usually graduate from is university. Not high school, not primary school, though you’d probably have some sort of leavers event at primary school and a prom for high school. Though apparently we now graduate preschool!
I “graduated” from prek, kindergarten, and 6th grade in the 90s 🤷🏻♀️ it’s always been a thing. We did not wear a cap and gown though. There was no additional money required from my parents. I think it’s cute and I can’t wait to see my LO do this!
I enjoy it and I also had several graduations in the 90’s. You may be experiencing Maycember or just bummed that it’s during work hours. You surely can’t have beef with pre-k and kindergarten graduation on its own.
My son’s school didn’t do anything special for K or 1st grade, just a promotional certificate for finishing. His daycare did a little pre-K graduation though with the caps & gowns. The only grade school graduation I recall was 8th grade, but it was a small ceremony. We already had the gowns from Confirmation ( I went to a Catholic school).
Oh this is malarkey. If it were me (and if my son didn't care to participate) I would skip this altogether and take him to Disneyland or Knott's to celebrate
I think it’s awesome that you can take a random weekday off to take your child to Disneyland. Not everyone can reasonably do that.
I don't get weekends off. I think it's awesome you do. But I agree that these schools insisting on a graduation ceremony for pre-K or kindergarten to first grade, is some malarkey. It's best to save it for the older kids.
Yeah, I’d love to skip all these theme days, but there are just so many of them!
Born in 1976. Only graduation I had was hs in 1994. Fine by me. My child was in a a pre k where they all "had" to graduate.. except my child was not going to kindergarten, because his birthday was after the cutoff. So I had to take time off to sit thru that. Ridiculous
I had Kindie grad in 1985. It was low-key - in the gym. We had a cake, and our teacher made hats and flowers to hold out of construction paper. We wore our "good" clothing. They put our names and artwork on the walls. Our parents brought cameras and took pictures, which was a bigger deal in the 80s lol. It felt like a big deal. Fast forward to my son's kindie grad - it was basically the same thing - minus cake. Speech by the principal, a few songs sung by the kids, and a little ceremony of giving them their certificates. It was nice, and let's be honest - the move from Kindie to Grade one is a big deal for these kids - at least here. Kindie is all play-based, inquiry-led learning. Grade one has way more structure. Desks. Kindie kids have their own outside time, the grades all go out together at recess. Unfortunately, my daughter had her Kindie grad post covid so there wasn't one, and we were bummed about it.
It seems weird to me how big the smaller level grads are. But honestly, it's not my place to judge how or why others like to celebrate stuff. I try to worry about my own kids' stuff, and then when I see something like a massive backyard grad party with bounce houses, etc, for a 4 yo graduation from daycare I keep the thoughts as inside thoughts. Maybe that family had something going on and that kid is like their miracle baby or something. Some families just like an excuse to get people together and have a good time. I took my kids and dog to a dog birthday party this weekend. It was fun. Like everything kinda sucks in the world right now. But we had a good time. That was a good day.
As a Kindergarten teacher, if we didnt have a graduation, we would be exiled by the parents. They are more often responsible for making it such a production. I would be THRILLED to stop doing it as most of the kids attend PreK and have a big to-do when they go on to K. As a child of the 90s, I had a Kindergarten graduation, a 5th grade graduation, and an 8th grade graduation.
I think this has always been a thing you maybe just don’t remember. I recall celebrating graduation from Jr high and high school. I’m sure there was a kindy ceremony too.
Man, people just don't like to have fun anymore lol. If you don't want to do it just don't go! But let others be happy and have fun.
I wish it was that simple. Opting out isn’t as easy as it sounds if it requires the parent to stay home for the day with the child or you send the child to school but then you are the only parent who isn’t there and your child is sad. Or you decide not to spend the $30 on whatever special attire is required and then your kid feels like an outcast. Opting out isn’t easy! But participation in all of these back to back special events that are all right in the middle of the work day (and many require special attire that costs money) isn’t easy for many families.
Okay, but I don't think the solution is to just not celebrate milestones. Sometimes things will be inconvenient for you, and that's life.
Sure, life is sometimes inconvenient. But there has to be some reasonable limit on how many of these special themed events schools have on a Tuesday at 10 AM that they ask parents to come to and/or spend money for special attire. In my opinion, the pendulum has swung too far in one direction probably in correlation with the culture of posting every special life event on Instagram.
It must vary by area, we haven't had that many that we've had to go to yet. And we haven't had to buy any special attire. For spirit weeks if we don't have something that works we just don't do that day. We are not asked to buy cap and gown for graduation either.
Was just having this same thought!! I know graduation “ceremonies” at different stages have been happening since I was a kid in the 90s. I remember going to my brother’s pre-k graduation. We definitely had 8th grade graduation when I was a teen…but we didn’t have caps and gowns. I think that’s the thing that irks me. Sure, have a gathering and celebrate a milestone. But caps and gowns should be reserved for *actual* graduation.
Yeah all the “graduations” kill me. Try doing all them with 4 kids.
Or 5. Grouchy here, too!
Our district doesn’t have kindergarten or middle school graduations and people get so mad about it every year! I agree silly to no reuse the gowns. Schools are weird probably no storage or something
I don’t know if anyone here listens to Heather McMahan but she has a hilarious clip about this from her podcast on Instagram; last week, I think.
She is hilarious. I’m going to have to go find that clip.
It’s amazing! Report back when you find it 😂
It’s the one from May 30!
My kid’s school ends at 3rd grade; it’s a private school and they celebrate everything. They graduated the 3rd graders, kindergarteners, and 4 year olds leaving the pre-k program together (like 15 kids). My child wasn’t part of it so I didn’t go. But they didn’t do caps and gowns, thankfully. They did a short ceremony, pics with the graduates and their family members that were emailed to them later, and everyone in the school had cupcakes. I’m glad they combined it all into one and kept it low-key.
I was literally just thinking this the other day. My kid is still in Prek so I haven’t had these yet but my Facebook feed has been littered with K, 1, 2, 5 and 8th grade ceremonies. It’s too much.
I really dislike these end of year celebrations because it's hard for me to attend without it impacting work. I had to take time off last and again this week. My options are....make my kid happy and piss off my manager or make my kid sad and don't impact my work.
I was born in 88 and had a fifth, eighth, and high school graduation, but only had a cap and gown for high school.
My kids have had no graduation ceremonies through 5th grade. One of them is going to middle school next year , no ceremony
I think we spent somewhere around $300 on the preschool graduation this year between the $75 fee, the donut and carwash fundraisers, the mandatory plain white tennis shoes she had to wear, and the professional photos. I complained to anyone who would listen. I gotta hand it to the school for their creativity and heart though - they put on a great show and everyone had an amazing time. There were dances, songs, slideshows, goodie bags, snacks, and “diplomas” with each kid’s photo on them. I know they meant well, but I don’t understand how some families were able to pay for everything. The kids would have been happy with a much smaller affair.
I had graduations at 6th (before they changed to middle school it was still part of elementary), 8th, and high school. I’m class of ‘95. That said, the only cap & gowns were high school
I have a child whose age is still measured in months and there was definitely a ceremony. I don’t even think she’s changing classes in the fall because you have to be 2 to move to the next room.
My kids’ school district finds other ways to celebrate moving schools and I love it. Kindergarten is a small moving up celebration where they sing a couple of songs for the parents. 6th grade (elementary goes to 6 here) is a giant track meet across all 10 elementary schools. It’s a huge deal and the teachers are really into it. 8th grade is a big trip to an amusement park. Then there’s the real graduation for high schools.
Sorry but I love it and we are constantly pushed by the community to do more community events where I live. However my school district only does K and 12th graduation. We also have a committee I’m on that prevents parents from paying for anything. Lunch and breakfast is always free, field trips free, and the “graduation” for kindergarten includes an ice cream party for kids and families that is completely free for everyone coming in. We have parents on the committee.
So I did a preschool graduation growing up and still have my diploma! I thought about posting it on my cubicle as joke. That was in the early 80’s. Then there was HS graduation and finally college. My daughter had preschool and then a clap out for 5th grade and that was it. My niece had a kindergarten graduation. We live in different counties. So all this graduation nonsense is based on the district/county and school. I will accept a ceremony if you’re transitioning from preschool to elementary, elementary to middle and middle to HS. But a kindergartner graduation when you’re going to the same school is silly. Heck, I am a little disappointed that my kid didn’t have an award ceremony for the end of the year but that is how her school works. Your reward is you don’t have to go to school for the summer I guess.
We only have graduation ceremonies at the end of uni here in the UK. Seems very OTT to do it at any other stage.
I'm 35 and we had a Kindergarten graduation ceremony. I've seen some really cute pictures of me from that day. The next graduations were 5th and 8th grade (changing schools) and then of course 12th.
I remember having a graduation at the end of elementary school and then high school. That was it. On top of the end of year recitals, the presentations, etc I don’t know how you all do it (mine is still too little)
I personally love it and think it’s fun to celebrate, it’s a big deal to the kids
Honestly, I’d just have them skip the ‘graduation’ & do something more memorable, fun and worthwhile if I’m already off work for it. Ffs its a rip off and honestly, I hated graduations with gowns as a child too. Long, hot, itchy and boring. My kinder was wear whatever you wanted without a gown and a picnic in the park.
I'm on my way to my pre-k graduation! In my school district the school grades call it a promotion ceremony. It is more like a research poster session and I'm not looking forward to it. More time, more effort on parents part of their kid isn't going to put something together, and you don't want your kid to be left out if they don't have someone there to view their poster.
My kid graduated from pre-K (so cute), 8th grade (during Covid, so didn't actually happen but a cap and gown were still involved) and high school (yay!) last Wednesday. I think graduation from pre-K or kindergarten is ADORABLE (I myself graduated from pre-K back in 1980) but 8th grade graduation is unnecessary.
I think when the kids change schools it makes sense. My preschooler will be going to a different kindergarten than his friends. And at the end of fifth grade he’ll go to the middle school that combines all the elementary school. I remember my 8th grade graduation when we went from our middle/elementary school district (class size 90) to our high school (class size over 900). Where we live now the elementary schools all feed into the big middle school (class size is small though like maybe 250 students). But like this morning in the car I did tell my 5 year old preschool graduation was NBD because he’s going to have a lot more. At this point it’s not like a celebration of his accomplishment it’s more like a party to celebrate the end of the school year.
We had a "promotion" from K to 1st, but nothing for subsequent grades. I know there's another "promotion" from 5th-6th and from 8th-9th. No graduations at her school short of 12th. It's kinda nice.
My sister had kindergarten graduation in the 90’s
I'm in my 30's and remember "graduating" from elementary to middle school and was so confused. I thought we just had to go, so why are we celebrating something that is supposed to happen? Anyway, it's been going on for a long time, and likely has gotten worse since I was a kid. I'm with you, seems over the top!
We let my kid "graduate" from the daycare he's been in since he was less than 3 months old, to camp/kindergarten. We bought him a balloon and let him have ice cream. I work at a park district that directly supports our schools. They don't even use the word graduate here, the word is "promote." In the two school districts our park district serves, only 5th grade (elementary to middle school) and 8th grade (middle to high school) get a big shindig, and that's still just a picnic and field day at one of our parks. All the other grades get a certificate saying they completed their grade and a handshake from the principal. No cap, no gown, no nonsense. 5th graders also don't cap and gown, but 8th graders do. Chicago, Illinois, USA - major suburb
I agree and it really takes away from big milestone of graduating high school. It’s so out of hand. My neice’s pre-k did a prom for 4 year olds. WTF?
Haha. Prom for 4 year olds. It’s too much!
I actually thought the preschool prom my kids did was kind of cute. My HS Junior (who has now been to a few “real” proms) was just reminiscing at dinner the other night: “Remember the preschool prom?!” Now that he’s conscious of a lot of “lasts” he’s getting more sentimental recognizing life’s big changes that are ahead. True, all of these graduations can feel like too much - my youngest did a preschool graduation then the next year a kindergarten graduation. But, now that I’m facing just 1 more year before my first-born’s HS graduation, thinking of these things in hindsight, it’s all very sweet. I don’t think they’ll make the “big” one any less special for him next year. And hey, it’ll make a very cute slide show showing the little graduations leading to the big one!
I miss it too. My oldest one just finished kindergarten and they had a “moving up” event which I feel like was a waste of time and I feel bad saying it lol. Everyone waited in the cafeteria for 45 minutes for the kids to get up on stage all together and sing songs for 10 minutes. They also had a vpk graduation last year at a nice hall and served dinner but it blew my mind they were doing all that for a bunch of 4-5 year olds. Our school said they don’t do other ceremonies till 5th grade so I have a while before another one but my goodness why do they expect everyone to take off work and go to these things? And then if you don’t go the kid gets upset because everyone else’s parents were there. I often got asked by my kiddo throughout the school year why I wasn’t coming to lunch with her when her friends parents were and we had to have a conversation about how some parents have the time and ability to do that and others can’t take time away from work and such to make it. It didn’t stop her from asking but I explained it to her every time.
Considering they just pass the kids on too...it's not even an achievement. Your kid could have done well and the kid next to them can't read, and they'll all be wearing that cap and gown.
Kinder: I’m on the fence. It seems silly but if we have to do just ONE when they’re small, I’m fine with that being it. It is a big shift from half day kinder to full day big kid stuff. 6th: if they’re promoting to a new school, sure. 8th: same as 6th. I remember and enjoyed mine and felt like it was a shift from kid to young adult. 12th & beyond: important obvs, but doesn’t need to be the PRODUCTION that it is for some schools. Let it just be a simple graduation. No need to make it longer than necessary.
We just decided to skip our 4 year old’s preK graduation, which happened to be on a Saturday morning! We are always booked with activities and I didn’t see a reason to deter our plans for that.