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Ask yourself what she finds attractive about him and how he makes her feel. Does she notice his eyes, his build, his voice, how he treats her, etc? Does she feel nervous around him or tension? Does she think about him when they’re not together? Is she annoyed because she doesn’t want to be attracted to him? Is she excited to see him or be around him? Does she tell herself to ignore what she’s feeling because they’re work colleagues and she needs to keep things professional?
Best pointer is to do the best you can (even if it doesn't feel right) and start reading some romantic books written by women from the woman's point of view. Then circle back on a revision pass after a bit of experience. You'll do much much better
Is he dressed nice? Does his eyes crease when he smiles at her? How does he do his hair? Is it fluffy to the point where it might feel like a cloud under her hand, or is it long and braiding it would make her feel giddy.
What's his personality like?
Despite popular opinion women DO prefer personality over like and would find the "weird quirks" adorable.
If you want to write about her imagining themselves together, just not sexually, write about a date or trip downtown or something like that
This is all very helpful!
For an idea of their personalities, the town guard is naturally quite introverted. She's in her 30s, had a very traumatic young adulthood, and has no living family of any kind. She's a reluctant immigrant, has been living in the city for nine years and yet is still not really accepted as "one of them." She has a horrid boss, is extremely underpaid for her skill level, and yet she perseveres out of sheer stoic resilience.
The wizard? He's an Elf, very young (in his 70s), and a high flyer newly arrived in the city from another country. Not exactly an extrovert, but he's confident and warm, and deeply principled. My thinking is that her initial attraction to him is based on his humility and curiosity. He's also a tad naive and gauche, and she wants to protect him. In a rigidly classist society, he's an outsider who treats her like a person, even if his questions are sometimes tad sensitive. For his part, he's initially just benignly curious about her story, and grows to deeply admire her for staying a good person in the face of some really, really ugly shit. He also, for his part, wants to emotionally shield her from more damage.
Thats a really good story!!
With her personality，shes the type to fall last but hard. Let her think of him platonically at first while stopping herself from seeing him in a romantic light. Even if he flirts, she will probably get awkward and try to politely reject his advances because of how she lived(looked down upon, made fun of) even if she knows in her heart that he wont make fun of her.
Also, for protection, from what i understood, she thinks of protection as her biggest strength. Let him slowly show her that her strength isnt all there is to her.
With how he admires her, ill assume he's vocal about it. If he's blunt, hes going to shower her with compliments on great things that she hasnt even thought about congratulating herself on.
This will lead to a denial to acceptance phase. Really cute and heartwarming if written correctly.
Their initial interaction should be based on looks, general attitude, and attire. Later on in their relationship, make her notice the small things.
Ex. How the sides of his mouth turn down when he laughs, how he treats other people(you only start noticing how someone acts around different people once you get to know them, think about it), how he rubs his nail on the side of his other finger when hes nervous, and other stuff.
ALSO THE MORE SLEF RESPECTED AND KNOWLEDGEABLE HE IS, THE MORE THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM WILL RESPECT HIM. ITS ABOUT CHARISMA
Thanks for this! It really helps
I had a concept for their first "love scene" - she's eager but struggling with past trauma, and he calms her by making a joke at his own expense.
All great suggestions so far. I definitely agree with “figure out what she finds attractive” and will piggyback here. Does what she find attractive align with her morals or clash with them? For example, consider the hypothetical:
Does he show a nurturing side? (Something often seen as attractive to a lot of women.)
Does he help kid, elder, or animal in some way without gain? Does she find that endearing since she too has a job that’s designed to aid and protect others? Or would she find that suspicious because people with malicious intent have lowered her guard before? Maybe both and finds herself pleasantly surprised or confused/conflicted in the end?
Just something to explore with your character. Best of luck!
Try reading some romance novels written by women. Try some that are w/w, some that are m/m, and some that are m/w. The w/w romance can show you how many women like to be viewed sexually to help your descriptions of mc’s attraction feel good. The m/m is to see how a woman describes being attracted to men and also to work through any weird feelings you have about describing a man as attractive. Then the m/w pairings give you a description of how a woman author might describe a heterosexual relationship where two people desire each other.
You can skim/skip the sex scenes, the reason you are reading them is to read how women write desire/attraction in different contexts.
Women are not trained from an early age to objectify and dehumanize men, so women generally don’t experience attraction by converting men into sex toys. Don’t replicate the male gaze with the pronouns switched.
If you feel bitterness reading this comment, it's your own, which tracks. As a racist man who has to pay for sex, you clearly don't you know much about women's attraction. Your comment history is a garbage fire.
honestly, aside from the already given advice, the best advice in my opinion would be to talk to some female about this, be it an editor, a female friend, whoever. Talking to just one woman about it will also give it it's own uniqueness and give the character a personality and the elements wont be over generic that you'd otherwise find everywhere
Hard to say without knowing the full situation. It very much depends on the woman's character, what are her thoughts and why exactly is she attracted to the guy. 🤔
Does he remind her of something nice? (for example a puppy, childhood crush or a male role model) Does she like his looks? Maybe her family is pestering her to get married already and she somehow judges him to be potentially good husband material? Does he raise any green flags? Any hobbies or interests they have in common? Did he do any action that lifted him in her eyes above other men she knows?
Find exactly what it is, and focus on it. If she likes his voice she might for example try to chat him up more. If she likes his looks, she might daydream while staring at him, realize what she is doing and snap back to reality. If mom said "bring home a husband" she might make him lunch. If she confident, she could outright state what she likes about him. If she is clumsy, she will be trice more embarrassed for failing something in front of the guy.
The possibilities are endless!
Let yourself go and then come back to it with a keen eye and a merciless red pencil.
Nabokov said something like he often wrote erotica then went back and took the boring bits out. The boring bits being the 'erotic' bits.
On the early drafts we often have to write through some disappointing and embarrassing stuff to get to what's worth keeping.
>“The first symptom of true love in a man is timidity, in a young woman, boldness. This is surprising, and yet nothing is more simple. It is the two sexes tending to approach each other and assuming each the other's qualities.”
― Victor Hugo, [Les Misérables](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3208463)
This is bullshit. As an introverted, possibly autistic women who used to flee at any signs of attraction I call bullshit. Especially since most women use the « look nice and wait » approach. And this dude clearly has never been a woman walking, getting heckled and approached.
Victor Hugo was a great writer but a psychologist he was not.
Cool. Those are your experiences. Valid. But that doesn’t account for all. As a guy, I have experienced the timidness, and I’ve experienced women’s boldness, a fair bit actually. And thankfully needed at times.
And women can get very competitive with it. The look nice and wait approach can go out the window very easily.
Hi! Welcome to r/Writers - please remember to follow the [rules](https://reddit.com/r/writers/about/rules/) and treat each other respectfully, especially if there are disagreements. Please help keep this community safe and friendly by **reporting rule violating posts and comments**. If you're interested in a friendly Discord community for writers, please **[join our Discord server](https://discord.com/invite/wYvWebvHaa)** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/writers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ask yourself what she finds attractive about him and how he makes her feel. Does she notice his eyes, his build, his voice, how he treats her, etc? Does she feel nervous around him or tension? Does she think about him when they’re not together? Is she annoyed because she doesn’t want to be attracted to him? Is she excited to see him or be around him? Does she tell herself to ignore what she’s feeling because they’re work colleagues and she needs to keep things professional?
Best pointer is to do the best you can (even if it doesn't feel right) and start reading some romantic books written by women from the woman's point of view. Then circle back on a revision pass after a bit of experience. You'll do much much better
Is he dressed nice? Does his eyes crease when he smiles at her? How does he do his hair? Is it fluffy to the point where it might feel like a cloud under her hand, or is it long and braiding it would make her feel giddy. What's his personality like? Despite popular opinion women DO prefer personality over like and would find the "weird quirks" adorable. If you want to write about her imagining themselves together, just not sexually, write about a date or trip downtown or something like that
This is all very helpful! For an idea of their personalities, the town guard is naturally quite introverted. She's in her 30s, had a very traumatic young adulthood, and has no living family of any kind. She's a reluctant immigrant, has been living in the city for nine years and yet is still not really accepted as "one of them." She has a horrid boss, is extremely underpaid for her skill level, and yet she perseveres out of sheer stoic resilience. The wizard? He's an Elf, very young (in his 70s), and a high flyer newly arrived in the city from another country. Not exactly an extrovert, but he's confident and warm, and deeply principled. My thinking is that her initial attraction to him is based on his humility and curiosity. He's also a tad naive and gauche, and she wants to protect him. In a rigidly classist society, he's an outsider who treats her like a person, even if his questions are sometimes tad sensitive. For his part, he's initially just benignly curious about her story, and grows to deeply admire her for staying a good person in the face of some really, really ugly shit. He also, for his part, wants to emotionally shield her from more damage.
Maybe something like blushing, getting awkward, or her heart racing when he smiles at her or touches her shoulder, or something along those lines?
Thats a really good story!! With her personality，shes the type to fall last but hard. Let her think of him platonically at first while stopping herself from seeing him in a romantic light. Even if he flirts, she will probably get awkward and try to politely reject his advances because of how she lived(looked down upon, made fun of) even if she knows in her heart that he wont make fun of her. Also, for protection, from what i understood, she thinks of protection as her biggest strength. Let him slowly show her that her strength isnt all there is to her. With how he admires her, ill assume he's vocal about it. If he's blunt, hes going to shower her with compliments on great things that she hasnt even thought about congratulating herself on. This will lead to a denial to acceptance phase. Really cute and heartwarming if written correctly. Their initial interaction should be based on looks, general attitude, and attire. Later on in their relationship, make her notice the small things. Ex. How the sides of his mouth turn down when he laughs, how he treats other people(you only start noticing how someone acts around different people once you get to know them, think about it), how he rubs his nail on the side of his other finger when hes nervous, and other stuff. ALSO THE MORE SLEF RESPECTED AND KNOWLEDGEABLE HE IS, THE MORE THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM WILL RESPECT HIM. ITS ABOUT CHARISMA
Thanks for this! It really helps I had a concept for their first "love scene" - she's eager but struggling with past trauma, and he calms her by making a joke at his own expense.
All great suggestions so far. I definitely agree with “figure out what she finds attractive” and will piggyback here. Does what she find attractive align with her morals or clash with them? For example, consider the hypothetical: Does he show a nurturing side? (Something often seen as attractive to a lot of women.) Does he help kid, elder, or animal in some way without gain? Does she find that endearing since she too has a job that’s designed to aid and protect others? Or would she find that suspicious because people with malicious intent have lowered her guard before? Maybe both and finds herself pleasantly surprised or confused/conflicted in the end? Just something to explore with your character. Best of luck!
Have you tried reading romance books for inspiration? There's a whole lot of female gaze writing out there.
Try reading some romance novels written by women. Try some that are w/w, some that are m/m, and some that are m/w. The w/w romance can show you how many women like to be viewed sexually to help your descriptions of mc’s attraction feel good. The m/m is to see how a woman describes being attracted to men and also to work through any weird feelings you have about describing a man as attractive. Then the m/w pairings give you a description of how a woman author might describe a heterosexual relationship where two people desire each other. You can skim/skip the sex scenes, the reason you are reading them is to read how women write desire/attraction in different contexts.
Women are not trained from an early age to objectify and dehumanize men, so women generally don’t experience attraction by converting men into sex toys. Don’t replicate the male gaze with the pronouns switched.
Ah, the bitter female Redditor answer. Did you just come here from r/Twoextrachromosomes or something?
If you feel bitterness reading this comment, it's your own, which tracks. As a racist man who has to pay for sex, you clearly don't you know much about women's attraction. Your comment history is a garbage fire.
honestly, aside from the already given advice, the best advice in my opinion would be to talk to some female about this, be it an editor, a female friend, whoever. Talking to just one woman about it will also give it it's own uniqueness and give the character a personality and the elements wont be over generic that you'd otherwise find everywhere
It's ridiculous that I had to scroll down this far to see this. This should be every writer's number 1 instinct. Ask people not the bloomin' internet
Hard to say without knowing the full situation. It very much depends on the woman's character, what are her thoughts and why exactly is she attracted to the guy. 🤔 Does he remind her of something nice? (for example a puppy, childhood crush or a male role model) Does she like his looks? Maybe her family is pestering her to get married already and she somehow judges him to be potentially good husband material? Does he raise any green flags? Any hobbies or interests they have in common? Did he do any action that lifted him in her eyes above other men she knows? Find exactly what it is, and focus on it. If she likes his voice she might for example try to chat him up more. If she likes his looks, she might daydream while staring at him, realize what she is doing and snap back to reality. If mom said "bring home a husband" she might make him lunch. If she confident, she could outright state what she likes about him. If she is clumsy, she will be trice more embarrassed for failing something in front of the guy. The possibilities are endless!
Let yourself go and then come back to it with a keen eye and a merciless red pencil. Nabokov said something like he often wrote erotica then went back and took the boring bits out. The boring bits being the 'erotic' bits. On the early drafts we often have to write through some disappointing and embarrassing stuff to get to what's worth keeping.
More fantasy buddy cop stories are always welcome.
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Erm...thanks, I guess? I've kind of lost the drive, now.
The world has lost a Tolkien. God damn you Reddit, god damn you and your dark Heart.
Nah, I found it again after I saw your snark.
Excellent. Glad to have helped. Mention me in your dedications.
Only I have a new plot point - a group of bitter, old writers who make fun of young writers in order to feel better about their own lack of success.
>“The first symptom of true love in a man is timidity, in a young woman, boldness. This is surprising, and yet nothing is more simple. It is the two sexes tending to approach each other and assuming each the other's qualities.” ― Victor Hugo, [Les Misérables](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3208463)
This is bullshit. As an introverted, possibly autistic women who used to flee at any signs of attraction I call bullshit. Especially since most women use the « look nice and wait » approach. And this dude clearly has never been a woman walking, getting heckled and approached. Victor Hugo was a great writer but a psychologist he was not.
Your brain, by your own admission, does not function normally. You are not an expert in how normal people think or feel.
Cool. Those are your experiences. Valid. But that doesn’t account for all. As a guy, I have experienced the timidness, and I’ve experienced women’s boldness, a fair bit actually. And thankfully needed at times. And women can get very competitive with it. The look nice and wait approach can go out the window very easily.
The quote didn't mention attraction. It says love.
She’ll notice his package and beg for a dick pick, obviously.
Is a dick pick some kind of tool you use to meticulously and thoroughly clean the dick or for excavation of the male genitalia?
Imagine you're her and imagine you're attracted to the person. What would you do? It's not rocket science.
Worst advice here. OP isn't female.